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1
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,120
The best place to meet a guy
is the supermarket,
2
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,960
You see a guy holding a list,
you know he's married,
3
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:08,360
He's in the frozen-food section
carrying a small basket, he's single,
4
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:12,520
l hang out by fruits and vegetables,
Better chance of getting a guy who's healthy,
5
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:17,200
Probably the best place
is Home Depot or any hardware store,
6
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:21,040
You just walk up
to the cutest guy and say:
7
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,920
''Do you know where l can get nailed?
l mean, nails?
8
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,720
Pardon me,
l've been drinking all afternoon,''
9
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,320
And that way he knows,
one, that you're easy,,,
10
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,840
,,,and two, that you like to drink,
11
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:39,160
l thought a great place to meet girls would
be night school where they teach English,
12
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,920
Because these girls
would be from foreign lands,,,
13
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,160
,,,and maybe still a little disoriented
from the journey,,,
14
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:49,400
,,,and l would look attractive
because l speak English very goodly,
15
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,200
But in the end,
it did not work out as l had hoped,
16
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:56,680
l mean, basically, l was told to
take a hike in 1 4 languages,
17
00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,240
Where do you meet people?
l don't know, they're everywhere,
18
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,840
Why, is there a problem?
19
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,360
No, No way,
l'm not going out with this guy,
20
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,560
Just call him, Say hello,
He's in my book club,
21
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,000
-Why is there a woman here?
-lt's his wife,
22
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,360
They're separated, but he didn't want
to Photoshop her out,,,
23
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,920
,,,if you're not interested,
They are in Hawaii,
24
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,240
lt's the Four Seasons,
This could be you in the photograph,
25
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:28,880
Aloha,
26
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,760
-Well, if you change your mind,
-l've got a picture too,
27
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,480
ls that why you're all here?
The whole family?
28
00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:37,600
-Everyone has a picture for me?
-This is an intervention, Sarah,
29
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,480
-He's great,
-A beautiful girl like you can't just give up,
30
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:41,880
There's life after divorce,
31
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,520
You were married to the same woman
for 45 years, Dad,
32
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,920
-What do you know about divorce?
-Precious little, l admit,
33
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,320
The black specter of two lives
torn asunder,
34
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:52,800
Not helping, Dad,
35
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,200
l wish your mother were here,
God rest her soul,
36
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,240
-She'd know what to say,
-''Put on another pot of tea,''
37
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,080
That's what she'd say,
The lrish answer to all problems,
38
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,440
-Well, it worked most of the time,
-Who is this?
39
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,680
l have no idea, but if you're interested,
l'll Google him,
40
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,520
ls this it for food in this house,
like, eight crackers?
41
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,600
And what are these?
Are these bananas?
42
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,520
-l think they were at one time,
-l'll take one,
43
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,760
-l guess l forgot to shop this month,
-What are you gonna do, sis?
44
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,840
-l mean, really, it's been eight months,
-Dad's giving-up idea sounds intriguing,
45
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,160
l could become the crazy aunt
who moves in down in the basement,
46
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:29,880
Put a cot in for me, some herbal teas,
l'd like to get a dog, if that's okay?
47
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,600
Marc, don't you have
a friend for Sarah?
48
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,440
''A Friend for Sarah,'' l'm now an episode
of Little House on the Prairie,
49
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,520
-Come on, you must know somebody,
-Not really,
50
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,960
But if you want to have an affair,
l do know a couple of married guys,
51
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,280
-We'll let that be our fallback, okay?
-Okay,
52
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,640
-An affair, that's a terrific idea,
-My husband to the rescue,
53
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,040
Don't cover mine,
54
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,680
l think affairs should go
on the other side,
55
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,200
Yeah,
56
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,520
Hey, Jake,
57
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,360
Hey, Charlie,
58
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,720
Divorce is final,
59
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,040
You're a free man,
60
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,960
l don't know if,,,is the
appropriate sentiment, Four years,,,
61
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,480
-,,,woman l loved, l got my ass kicked,
-High-five,
62
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,120
Not that kind of moment either,
63
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,640
-Down low?
-Just because l want this to stop,
64
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,880
You are officially the worst client
l've ever had,
65
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,920
-Thank you,
-Let Lisa have everything,
66
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,560
Even the judge wanted you to keep
those boxing gloves,
67
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,960
-She really liked you,
-l liked her too, as far as judges go,
68
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,680
No, l mean, really,
69
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,120
Wow, that's a good-looking Cougar,
70
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:50,560
Excellent stuff, You think she'd like
to buy a handmade, stainable teak boat?
71
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,920
Maybe if it came with private lessons,
72
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,880
Everybody wants all that Tupperware,,,
73
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,920
,,,those computer-designed,
fiberglass-composite things,
74
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,000
l mean, don't even look like boats,
75
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,720
They look like boats when they
whiz by your wooden guy,
76
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,800
That was one race, and l've made
some adjustments, Charlie,
77
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,640
-Wood boats can win, trust me on that,
-They can't win,
78
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,400
That's why people don't want them,
79
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,600
They can't win,
but they lose beautifully,
80
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,920
And the whole experience
is just better, Look at this,
81
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,560
l'm making these boats
the exact same way,,,
82
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,800
,,,the Spanish and the Portuguese
made their ships of exploration,
83
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,520
There's a continuity
at stake here, Charlie,
84
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,560
This is more than a boat,
85
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,120
-This is a time machine,
-lf you paid this much attention to Lisa,,,
86
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:33,520
-,,,you'd still be together,
-This is true,
87
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,120
But you know what? lf l had to do it
it all over again, l wouldn't,
88
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:42,280
l wouldn't,
Lisa taught me about sadness,,,
89
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,520
,,,about human frailty,,,
90
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,280
,,,and how unbearably fleeting
happiness can be,
91
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,920
-l'm gonna owe her for the rest of my life,
-Oh, you'll be paying, Monthly,
92
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,000
Hope you don't mind
that l brought Mother Teresa,
93
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:59,240
Are you kidding? l love this girl,
Mother Teresa, do you have a friend for me?
94
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,160
Hey, is everything all right at home?
95
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,480
Yeah, Jennifer just gets tired
of all the family gatherings,
96
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,880
Too many old stories,
lt makes her feel left out,
97
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,520
Yeah, Kevin used to say that,
98
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,280
-l still say it,
-l say it too,
99
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,080
lt seems hard now, Sarah, l know,,,
100
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,840
,,,but you get a chance to make
a new life for yourself,
101
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,480
Thank you, but in
the marketplace of available women--
102
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,720
Any guy would be lucky to get you,
You're smart, you're funny,,,
103
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,360
,,,even pretty when
you're not wallowing in self-pity,
104
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:25,840
Am l wallowing? Really?
105
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,800
You're not the wallower
in the family, Carol is the wallower,
106
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,680
Me? l never wallow,
l suffer in silence,
107
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,400
-No, that's Christine,
-Thank you, Michael,
108
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,120
No, no,
109
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,200
-Sylvia Plath,
-This is why people,,,
110
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,160
,,,don't have large families anymore,
111
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,720
-Bye, l love you,
-Bye,
112
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,960
-Bye, Bill,
-Love you, Carol,
113
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,640
-See you, Dad,
-Thank you, l think,
114
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:49,960
Bye, Chris, Bye,
115
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,600
-See you later, Dad,
-Bye, Daddy,
116
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:52,800
Bye,
117
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:56,880
There's someone special
waiting for you, Sarah,
118
00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:00,600
l know it, Someone worthy,
119
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,320
Kevin was not, on his best day,,,
120
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,000
,,,good enough for you, sweetheart,
121
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,240
Now you tell me,
122
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,040
Why not?
123
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:35,440
You know l love you and l love Lisa,
but l think you're both better off,
124
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,520
We sure weren't making each other
happy there at the end,
125
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,520
Or the beginning,
126
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,360
Or the middle,
127
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:48,200
l mean, don't get me wrong, we all
wanted to sleep with Lisa, but marriage,,,,
128
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,720
-That's not right,
-l said that out loud, didn't l?
129
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,840
-You did,
-l better strike that from the record,
130
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,080
No, lawyers get to do that,
l'm instructing you to disregard that,
131
00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,000
l think women have
the whole thing planned,
132
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,520
Really, the whole thing,
133
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,040
An epic narrative in their heads,
You know my theory about this?
134
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,480
When you meet,
they have the whole story written,
135
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,360
But you don't get to read it,
136
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,960
But if you go off script,,,
137
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,680
,,,right? They write you out
of the story,
138
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,560
l got written out of Act 3,
139
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,240
Now you're in Act 4, where l get you
banged every night of the week,
140
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,960
Charlie, l'm toast, l just got shredded,
l am--
141
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,960
-lt's time, healing time, l'm on the bench,
-Hey, Hey,
142
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,680
l'm out of the game,
Bench me, bench me,
143
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,480
-Hey,
-Benched,
144
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,400
l'll be right with you,
145
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,760
-Hi, Can l help you?
-Single chicken breast, please,
146
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,480
For an extra 75 cents,
you can get the whole fryer here,
147
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,440
Two breasts, two thighs and a wing,
148
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,840
Thank you, l don't know
when l'd eat all that,
149
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,600
-lt's just an extra 75 cents,
-lt's not the 75 cents,
150
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,360
l hate to see food go bad,
151
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,800
We got a hundred recipes,
You can cook them, freeze them and--
152
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,280
Look, listen to me, mister,
l'm divorced, okay?
153
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,640
l eat alone,
usually standing over the sink,
154
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,880
l don't want chicken
hanging around, okay?
155
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,040
-Okay,
-Thank you,
156
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,000
Hey, There she is,
157
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,840
-Good morning, How are you?
-Good morning,
158
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,120
l called you last night
to see if you were up for a movie,,,
159
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:44,800
-,,,or bowling or group shampooing,
-l'm sorry, Eric's parents are in town,
160
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,360
Mr, and Mrs, Stalin,
l'm under house arrest,
161
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,120
-Weren't they just here?
-Thank you,
162
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,840
l don't know why they can't stay at
a hotel, Nothing l do makes them happy,
163
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,880
And they make Eric so nervous,
he's like the Tin Man,
164
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,960
You have to hang in there, Leo,
You and Eric are my model,,,
165
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,080
-,,,for a successful relationship,
-l fear for you, child,
166
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,440
Anyone have anything exciting
happen this weekend to share?
167
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,200
My Uncle Mike slept over,
168
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,240
Uncles and aunts
are very important to us, aren't they?
169
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:14,400
He's not really my uncle,
but my mommy makes me call him that,
170
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:20,160
When he's there, l can't sleep with
my mommy because he's in her bed,
171
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,560
Anyone else have anything
they'd like to share?
172
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,120
Yes, Austin,
173
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,320
My parents are trying it
apart for a while,
174
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,680
-We have a theme, June,
-Yes, we do,
175
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:34,240
And Mom says my dad is incorrigible,
That means he likes other women,
176
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,480
Good,
177
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:40,920
One, two,
178
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:43,120
Let me try,
179
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,960
That's a hop,
180
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:49,960
One, two, that's a new step,
Very good,
181
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,040
-Molly, you wanna try the sticks?
-Yeah, come on, Molly,
182
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,640
Very good, Keep it going like that,
183
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,480
-Watch,
-No, l'm doing it,
184
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,520
Austin!
185
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,320
Good Lord, it's a gusher,
186
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:15,760
Let me see your teeth,
187
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,760
-Hey, bubba,
-Look who's here,
188
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,280
Daddy!
189
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,600
-Are you all right?
-Yep, l'm fine,
190
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,080
He had a decent bloody nose
for a while, but he's fine now,
191
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:31,360
-You didn't have to rush right over,
-A kid bleeds, l show up, lt's house rules,
192
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,640
-You wanna get your stuff together now?
-Yeah,
193
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:37,040
-Then l need a minute alone with Ms, Nolan,
-Okay, Bye, Ms, Nolan,
194
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,960
Bye,
195
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,440
No, No, No,
196
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,200
So, Ms, Nolan,,,,
197
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,880
-Sarah, please,
-And l'm Bob,
198
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,720
Actually, everybody calls me Bobby,
199
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,080
l've been trying to change it
since third grade,
200
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,640
l'm a pushover for Bobbys,,,
201
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,680
,,,ever since my first boyfriend,
Bobby Healy, just,,,,
202
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,120
You know?
203
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,760
l forget, is it ''always discuss your personal
history with parents'' or ''never discuss''?
204
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,400
lt's ''always discuss,''
Besides, l find it comforting,
205
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,000
So has Austin told you
anything about,,,?
206
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,720
-About you and--
-Yeah,
207
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:28,880
That you're taking a break from
your marriage and you're incorrigible,
208
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,760
That phrasing came from his mother,
209
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,640
-l wouldn't have put it that way, but--
-l'm sorry,
210
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,280
lf there's anything you think
l need to know, tell me,
211
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,680
-l will,
-Sometimes with Austin, you can forget,
212
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,680
-Because he seems so mature,
-l know,
213
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,200
The other day he asked
about my retirement plan,
214
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,760
Well, he cares about you, and he
wants you to be financially secure,
215
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,440
You know Austin adores you,
l can see why,
216
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:54,040
-Thank you, Bob,
-l might prefer Bobby after all,
217
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,760
l mean, l like the,,,,
l like the history,
218
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,200
Two guys alone in the afternoon
watching Doctor Zhivago,
219
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,600
-There's something gravely wrong here,
-lt's all there, man,
220
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,200
The yearning, the suffering,
a woman you'll pursue,,,
221
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,280
,,,through blizzards, across continents,
222
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,560
A love so real,
even after you're dead it still hurts,
223
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,160
-That's all l want,
-You need to get out,
224
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,280
-You do, You need to see real people,
-You wanna watch it again?
225
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,680
No, l want to go out, Come on,
l previewed some lnternet ads for us,
226
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,920
lnternet ads? Come on,
l want Zhivago's lnternet ad:
227
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,640
''Tragic doctor/poet
in desperate pain seeks,,,
228
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,840
,,,like-minded playmate
for long snowshoe across Eurasia,''
229
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,200
What do you bet he gets
a hundred responses?
230
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,040
We'll start with bisexual
Asian women who fly-fish,
231
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,840
-No lnternet ads,
-This is for you, l hate to fly-fish,
232
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,680
-No, you don't,
-What about Sherry?
233
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,720
-l gave you her number, You never called,
-Sherry?
234
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,720
Sherry's 24, Her range of interest
extends from kickboxing to Tae Bo,
235
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,000
She slept with half the guys
in my office,
236
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,280
Then why do you want
to set me up with her?
237
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,800
She slept with half the guys
in my office,
238
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,000
She's in her early 20s, You know
the epic narrative l talked about?
239
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,920
Hers would not only be secret,
it would be incoherent,
240
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,200
l wouldn't get past the cover page,
241
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,040
l mean, l'm looking
for something more than Sherry,
242
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,880
''Hopelessly romantic,
young 50s widower,,,
243
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,960
,,,seeks lady friend who enjoys
the slow bloom of affection,
244
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:28,200
Loves dogs, children
and long, meandering bike rides,
245
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,320
l will be carrying
a single yellow rose,''
246
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,240
-l gotta meet this guy,
-Where are your boob shirts?
247
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,400
-My what?
-Your boob shirts,
248
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,360
-Don't worry, l brought some of mine,
-Oh, boob shirts,
249
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,000
-l can't wear that,
-Okay, l have some dating tips for you,
250
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,600
l got them from Sports Illustrated,
Solid gold,
251
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:50,160
Yes, that's always been my bible
for personal relationships,
252
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,200
At least listen to the tips,
253
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,080
-Your sister has gone to a lot of trouble,
-Okay,
254
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,440
''One, maintain eye contact,
255
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,520
But be sure it isn't too intense,
You aren't a hawk eyeing its prey,''
256
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,200
Good that you told me,
l might have done my hawk thing,
257
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:10,560
''Two, men respond sexually when
they think women are excited by them,''
258
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,880
-Really?
-''The more you like what you see,,,
259
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,840
,,,the more your pupils
will open wide to take it all in,''
260
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,480
Open your pupils,
261
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:22,880
Oh, my God,
262
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,680
-l'm dating again, l can't do this!
-lt's okay, Come on,
263
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,120
-No, you'll be fine, it's okay,
-lt'll be fun,
264
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,760
What if he wants to have sex?
What if l want to?
265
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:35,480
You don't understand, lt's been
a long time, Christine, l could freak out,
266
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,280
What if l can't control myself?
267
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:41,480
You're meeting for muffins
in a public place, l think you'll be safe,
268
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,440
-Dad?
-Sarah,
269
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,840
My darling girl,
270
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,720
Darling, don't you put
the sunshine to shame,
271
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,440
What are you doing here?
272
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,200
That's a fine how-do-you-do
from one of my favorite daughters,
273
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,960
l'm sorry, it's just that l'm meeting a--
Why do you have a yellow--?
274
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,600
-ls that a rose?
-lt is a rose, if the truth be told,
275
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,800
But by any other name,,,,
276
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:24,920
-And it's for a lady friend, isn't it?
-That is, in fact, the very purpose,
277
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,680
-No!
-Now, Sarah, come on,
278
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:34,840
lt is a natural course of this life that
your dad would have a lady friend by now,
279
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,800
l feel your mother whispering her
approval to me every day,
280
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,200
And would this lady friend
be someone who might enjoy,,,
281
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,400
,,,the slow bloom of affection, perhaps?
282
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,160
That would be grand, yes,
283
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,800
l'm your date, Dad,
284
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,360
l am, l answered
my own father's personal ad,
285
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,800
Don't laugh, lt's not funny!
286
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,000
lt shows l brought you up to know
the diamond from the riffraff,
287
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,840
A young 50, Dad? You're 7 1 ,
288
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,440
And when was the last time
you rode a bike?
289
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,080
-Meandering or any other way?
-Well, think of it as poetry, darling,
290
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,360
As who l am
in the bottom of my soul,
291
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,760
And, Sarah, my darling,
292
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,040
-What?
-l'm glad you've started dating again,
293
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:22,480
Dad, please, This is disturbing
on so many levels,
294
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,720
-At least let me have the rose,
-l can't,
295
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,200
l'm seeing someone else at 4:00,
296
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:42,280
Hello. You've reached Sarah Nolan.
Leave a message if you want to.
297
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,320
Sarah, it's me, Christine. Pick up.
298
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,160
Come on, Sarah,
I already talked to Dad.
299
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,920
-Who else knows?
-No one.
300
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,360
Come on, Carol has to know,
301
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:03,400
Why does Carol have to know? Couldn't
I once know something before she does?
302
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,040
She's there with you, isn't she?
303
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,240
-No.
-Hello, Carol,
304
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:13,440
Hi, Sarah. I was telling Chris it's a shame
I didn't know about this before...
305
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,840
...because I could have called
Uncle Chet. We could have doubled.
306
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,080
Oh, no.
307
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:24,120
This story is going to be immortalized
into family history, isn't it?
308
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,960
Told and retold
at Thanksgiving dinner, year after year,
309
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:32,160
Oh, not just Thanksgiving.
I think it's a good Christmas story too.
310
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,200
-Bye, guys,
-Wait.
311
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:37,960
Tell the truth. On a scale of one to 1 0,
how would you rate Dad as a date?
312
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,000
Hot, super hot?
313
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,160
Don't be mad at me for this, okay?
314
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,600
The last time you said that to me
you stole my boyfriend, Danny Shea,
315
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,600
l did not steal Danny Shea,
316
00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:01,000
-l haven't forgiven you, by the way,
-Stop, He was a terrible kisser,
317
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,000
-He kissed just fine with me,
-Okay, Here goes,
318
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,400
l went online, pretended l was you,,,
319
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,200
,,,and put your profile
on PerfectMatch,com,
320
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,120
You're making this up,
321
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,040
You can't just sit back
and passively answer,,,
322
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,440
,,,other people's ads anymore,
We are on offense,
323
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:25,000
Well, forgive me if l'm a tad gun-shy
after my last date with my father,
324
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,440
Come on, at least look at your profile,
325
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,960
That's my high school
graduation picture,
326
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,600
That's all l had,
That or your wedding photo,
327
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,360
''Voluptuous''? Carol!
328
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,880
Every woman listed claims
to be at least voluptuous,
329
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:43,200
Some are ''gorgeous inside and out,''
most are ''sexually confident,''
330
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:48,160
''Voluptuous, sensuous DWF seeks
special man to share starlit nights,
331
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,680
-Must love dogs,''
-l put that in for you,
332
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,800
And yet l'm still pissed,
333
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:57,320
l must have done something right,
You have 1 8 responses,
334
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,560
You listened to them, didn't you?
335
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,000
l like three, 1 1 and 1 4,
Christine likes two and eight,
336
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:07,000
Michael liked them all,
But you decide for yourself,
337
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,640
What do you mean by voluptuous?
Do you mean big breasts...
338
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,680
...or do you mean fat?
339
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:46,680
I love dogs too.
340
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,520
I have a great sense of humor,
but you could probably already tell that.
341
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,520
Yo.
342
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,960
My name is Walter Taylor.
I'm an attorney.
343
00:21:56,120 --> 00:22:00,640
Don't hang up.
I like opera. Don't delete me.
344
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,480
So anyway, l get all dressed up,,,
345
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,320
,,,and l walk down the stairs and l see,,,
346
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:12,680
,,,my father sitting there
holding a single yellow rose,
347
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:14,440
And it dawns on me,,,,
348
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,360
-ls something wrong?
-Well, no offense, it's just,,,,
349
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,200
l thought you'd be younger, that's all,
350
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,600
Well, you said your age range
was 25 to 45,
351
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,440
l guess l was hoping more for 25,
352
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,560
Twenty-three,
353
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,840
Eighteen, That's legal,
354
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,480
lt's nice to be out,
355
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,560
l've been feeling kind of blue lately,
356
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,440
l know, you mentioned on the phone,
Lennie, that you've-- Kind of depressed,
357
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,160
-Did l cry?
-Well, a little bit,
358
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:55,840
l've been on 1 7 first dates this year,
359
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,240
No second dates,
360
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,040
One went,,,
361
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,320
,,,to check her coat
and never came back,
362
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:09,040
One jumped out at the light
when it changed,
363
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:14,080
Well, we're almost through the salad,
That's a good sign,
364
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,600
No,
365
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,720
Lennie,
366
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,800
Please, Don't,
367
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,720
Please, Lennie, No,
368
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,200
If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands
369
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,240
Come on!
If you're happy
370
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,880
And you know it
Clap your hands
371
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,480
Oh, God!
372
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,360
Come on, get up,
Get her, Get her,
373
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,640
Damn,
374
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,280
Don't be upset,
l come from a large family,
375
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,360
Lots of male cousins, brothers,
Used to this sort of thing,
376
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,120
Three out of five,
377
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,680
-Oh, that's all right, Maybe later,
-Come on,
378
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,920
-Your table's almost ready,
-Good, We're working up an appetite,
379
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,720
Food here is fabulous,
lt's not cheap, though,
380
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,240
Well, l offered to pay my half,
381
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,400
And what did l tell you?
382
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,280
''Marshall's girls don't pay,''
383
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:07,920
Beautiful,
384
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,200
You'd look really good in handcuffs,
385
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,400
Charlie, my boy,
some nice-looking pieces here,
386
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,040
-Really? l didn't see anyone,
-l meant the artwork,
387
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,120
-Bet this cost a bundle,
-Hey, guys,
388
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,840
-Hi!
-Speaking of artwork,
389
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,280
-Hi, Sherry,
-Hi, Charlie, Hi, Jake,
390
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,440
How are you? Let's do two,
391
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,840
-That's how they do it in France,
-You having fun?
392
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,640
Well, l feel sorry for the artist
at these things,
393
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,360
All this talent on display,
and everybody here's just trying to get laid,
394
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,040
l know l am,
395
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,280
You never called me, mister,
l waited and waited,
396
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,080
l know l am,
397
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:57,280
l'm sorry, Sherry, it's just that l'm not ready
right now to be in a serious relationship,
398
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,320
And with somebody as wonderful
and as beautiful as you,,,
399
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,360
,,,l just wouldn't expect
anything less,
400
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,240
-Why can't you be sweet like that, huh?
-Sherry!
401
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,240
-Hey, guys,
-Short attention span,
402
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,240
You're a sick guy, you know that?
403
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,080
Just another in a long line
of colossal mistakes,
404
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,240
l'm not answering an lnternet ad,
405
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,600
Look at this, ''Voluptuous and sensuous,
Must love dogs,'' Wonderful,
406
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,400
Look at the picture,
407
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,000
Well, she is appealing,
408
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,160
She'll be good-looking
when she grows up,
409
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,040
l'm surfing porn sites like always,,,
410
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,600
,,,l keep getting kicked over
to PerfectMatch,com,,,
411
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,600
,,,which is not where l want to be,,,
412
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:42,200
,,,and this girl's profile keeps repeating, like
a sign from heaven, And l thought of you,
413
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,840
Tell the prom queen thanks, but no,
l'm still benched,
414
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,240
Too late, You're meeting her at 1 1 ,
Bring a dog,
415
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:48,680
No, l'm not,
416
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,480
lt's okay,
417
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,320
Stop that growling!
418
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,120
Use your words,
419
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,640
Stop, sit,
420
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,360
Stop, sit,
421
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,160
-Stop, Sit,
-l don't think he knows ''stop'' or ''sit,''
422
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,240
-What else have you got?
-Bruno, focus,
423
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,240
Roll over and play dead,
424
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,160
-Hey, look at that, Look at that,
-That's very impressive,
425
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,040
-You Sarah?
-Jake,
426
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,840
-Yeah, hi,
-Yeah, Hi,
427
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,760
l didn't recognize you
without the cap and gown,
428
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,680
Oh, yeah,
429
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,360
-Yeah,
-Yeah,
430
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,760
-This is really amazing,
-Yeah,
431
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,400
lt is, When he plays dead,
he really plays dead,
432
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,040
You don't know the half of it,
He can stop his heart like a Sufi mystic,
433
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,480
-Does he sleep on a doggy bed of nails?
-As a matter of fact, he does,
434
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,440
He feels nothing,
Or perhaps he feels too much,
435
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,360
-l think he wants his treat now,
-You think so?
436
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,840
While he's playing dead?
lt might ruin the effect,
437
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,360
-l don't know, He's your dog,
-He's not, He's my friend Charlie's,
438
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,160
-So you're here under false pretenses,
-No, not at all,
439
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:17,080
You said ''must love dogs,''
not ''must own dogs,'' l do love dogs,
440
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,760
ln fact, l had one with my ex,
441
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,240
She was allergic,
went into anaphylactic shock,
442
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,400
So we had to put her down, Dog,
443
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,040
Not the wife, l'm kidding about both,
444
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,240
This is a beautiful canine
you have here,
445
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,960
-Hi,
-Yes, this is Mother Teresa,
446
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,240
Yeah, she plays with lepers?
447
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,600
Comforts the poor? Yeah,
How long you had her?
448
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:45,320
Technically, she's not really mine,
She's my brother's,
449
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,320
l'm shocked and saddened,
450
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:52,640
-False pretenses,
-Well, we are related, She's family,
451
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,800
And l do really love dogs,
and my ex was allergic also,
452
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,640
Yes, he often had
''anaphyphlectic'' shock,
453
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:01,240
You're making that up,
454
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,080
-Yes, l am,
-Me too,
455
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:09,560
Tell me, l'm just curious
about one thing,
456
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,400
Why did you write ''voluptuous''?
457
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,200
-Oh, my--
-No! l did not mean to be rude at all,
458
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,240
lt's just that voluptuous,
that tends to go the other way,,,
459
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:19,920
,,,when someone uses that phrase,
460
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,160
Towards the full-figured end
of the spectrum,
461
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,640
l didn't know there was
a full-figured spectrum,
462
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,280
lt's one of those words
they use in personal ads,,,
463
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,200
,,,like ''Rubenesque''
or ''weight proportionate to height,''
464
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,000
Hey, it's your ad, You can say
whatever you want, l'm,,,,
465
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:38,360
Just for the record, girl says ''athletic,''
she means ''flat-chested,'' Which you're not,
466
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,760
But-- This isn't coming out right,
467
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,280
Look, you know, l'm sorry,
468
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,920
l'm,,,, l'm a little nervous, l'm not used
to meeting people this way,
469
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,080
Really? You seem very practiced
and smooth,
470
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,680
-Your ad doesn't do you justice,
-Well, maybe you should rewrite my ad,
471
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,200
-Well, maybe l don't want to,
-And why not?
472
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,200
Because maybe l don't want
anyone else to answer it,
473
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,000
Did you plan on saying
that sometime today?
474
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:07,160
-No, l didn't, But it's good, isn't it?
-lt is good,
475
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:11,200
-lt's a good line,
-Maybe we should try this over again,
476
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:13,480
Hi, l'm Jake,
477
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,160
Sarah,
478
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,720
So why would you even write an ad?
You don't seem that desperate,
479
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,080
Why would you answer one?
Talk about desperate,
480
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,160
l'm not, l mean, l didn't,
lt was my friend's, He gave it to me,
481
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,760
-l didn't write it, My sister did,
-Your sister's ad,
482
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,640
Your brother's dog,
Those your shoes?
483
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,400
Oh, my, Look at the time!
Come on, honey,
484
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,120
What l'm trying to say is
l'd like to get to know you,
485
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,680
l have to get this dog home, and you
don't want to go over on your rental,
486
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,600
Maybe we could try this another time,
You know, without the dogs,
487
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:45,760
You bet,
488
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:48,520
l'll call you,
489
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,920
Sarah, for the record,,,
490
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,240
,,,you are kind of voluptuous
in a minimalist sort of way,
491
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,480
l'm not sure l'm up for this dinner
at Dad's new girlfriend's house,
492
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,480
-He seems really excited about her,
-Where are Marc and Jason?
493
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,320
They took the kids
to Magic Mountain,
494
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,400
The kids didn't even really
want to go, The dads whined,
495
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,640
Well, they're so spoiled, those dads,
496
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,080
So how was your day today?
At the dog park?
497
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,400
-How did you know about that?
-Who do you think you're dealing with?
498
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,880
-You're good, l have to give you that,
-So come on,
499
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,400
-Tell me,
-Okay,
500
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,760
We got off to kind of a rough start,
But then it was okay, you know?
501
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,240
He was a little intense, He was nervous,
He couldn't stop insulting me,
502
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,080
You know what this sounds like,
503
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,360
-No, it's not, Don't say it,
-But it is, lt's a growth opportunity,
504
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,560
l'm not over my last growth opportunity
when you stole Danny Shea,
505
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,160
Will you forget Danny Shea?
He's probably a convicted felon,,,
506
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,000
,,,by now, divorced,
507
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,000
-Maybe you should call him,
-Carol,
508
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,600
What about that guy you met
at preschool? You maimed his kid?
509
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,080
-Bob Connor,
-Yeah, Mr, lncorrigible,
510
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,080
l told you, l can't,
He's the father of one of my students,
511
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,960
Yes, honey, but he's not your father,
That's a big step forward for you,
512
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,520
-Bill,
-Dolly,
513
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,280
Hey!
514
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,960
-What a lovely home you have, Dolly,
-Thank you,
515
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,640
When my third husband died,
l decided to give up the big house,
516
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,600
Third out of how many?
517
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,520
And these potholders?
518
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,080
Where did you manage to find them?
519
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,960
Why, everything in this house
is handmade by Dolly,
520
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,440
Oh, yes, She's very creative,
521
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,440
Our mother used to sew all our clothes
when we were younger,
522
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,400
-Sarah,
-Well, she did,
523
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,840
Your father told me
all about your mother, honey,
524
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,120
She must have been
a very special lady,
525
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,520
-She was,
-And you must miss her very much,
526
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,680
-l do,
-And you see me,,,
527
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,920
,,,as something of an interloper,
l suppose,
528
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,760
Do you want me to lie down for this?
529
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,600
We're at interloping?
When did that happen?
530
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,040
lt's Dad's life, l don't meddle,
531
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,520
Carol, you meddle
in my life all the time,
532
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:26,320
Well, technically that's not true,
because you don't have a life,
533
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:28,200
l happen to have a very full life,
534
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,240
Did you even check
all of your messages?
535
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,560
l thought a few were very promising,
536
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,920
-Like who?
-Like the engineer from Oxnard,
537
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,320
-With the sexual dysfunction,
-ln what way would he be promising?
538
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:42,000
You could cure him,
The whole nurse-patient thing,
539
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,640
-You've got it all worked out,
-lt was brave of him to be so forthcoming,
540
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,920
-Why don't you call him, then,
-Why don't you,
541
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,240
-Call! l'll give you his number,
-Maybe l will,
542
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:51,400
-Go for it,
-Okay,
543
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,440
Hey there, Ms, Nolan,
544
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,960
What are you doing yelling
in Whispering Breeze Park?
545
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,680
Look who it is,
546
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,120
-What a surprise,
-Oh, hi, Ms, Nolan, How are you?
547
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,480
-Hi, sweetie,
-Who's that?
548
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,080
-Oh, this is my sister Carol,
-Nice to meet you,
549
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:10,760
This is Austin, my student,
and his dad, Mr, Connor, Bob,
550
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,600
Actually, l go by Bobby now,
551
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,560
Right, You live here?
552
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,320
Yeah, they cater to the recently
separated and divorced,
553
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,880
But l'm the youngest guy here
by 40 years, so it's good for my morale,
554
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,880
-My wife and l are gonna try it apart,
-l know,
555
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,400
Will you just look at her, son?
556
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,960
ls my little girl lovely
or is my little girl lovely?
557
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,760
Oh, Dad, don't worry
about embarrassing me,
558
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,680
Stop it, Bill,
She is cute as a button, though,
559
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:40,520
So, what is it you do, Bobby?
Sarah never tells us about her beaus,
560
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:42,880
l'm finishing my Ph,D,
in American history,
561
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,840
-A biography of Robert E, Lee,
-l always felt sorry for Lee,
562
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,080
Forced to fight against his old friends
and West Point classmates,
563
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:50,640
Could only dress in gray, Sad,
564
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:53,760
She's funny too,
A complete package, you know,
565
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,400
When l need extra money,
l work construction,
566
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,000
Well, it sounds very manly,
Do you wear a hardhat?
567
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,480
Sarah was the one who always had
the boys knocking at the door,
568
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,280
-Oh, Dad,
-She had eyes only for that singer,
569
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,320
What was his name? Thin fellow,
570
00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:10,640
-Looked like a girl,
-Mick Jagger,
571
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:14,480
No, no, Sarah was saving herself
for David Cassidy,
572
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:15,880
Like you weren't,
573
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,520
-Carol wasn't saving herself for anybody,
-What?
574
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,360
l remember now, lt was David Cassidy
of The Pheasant Family,
575
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,040
Bill, Bill, honey,
576
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:28,360
Partridge Family, You know,
l saw him last year in Vegas,
577
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,160
He was good, Hadn't changed a bit,
Same turtleneck,
578
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,760
Sarah had the whole
Partridge act down,
579
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,440
She'd put on the little miniskirt,
the go-go boots,,,
580
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,200
,,,and pretend she was Susan Dey,
581
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,360
-This is all a lie,
-Sing the theme song, Sarah,
582
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,440
-Don't make me kill you, Carol,
-You remember the intro,
583
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:55,560
-No,
-Come on,
584
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:56,880
Come on,
585
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,920
Oh, that was what he told you,
586
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,000
-lt was a great night,
-Great night,
587
00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:52,560
l forgot how much fun those
humiliating family sing-alongs can be,
588
00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:55,040
Can l say one thing
about Mr, lncorrigible?
589
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:59,120
-Only if you sing it,
-He is hot, And he likes you,
590
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,480
l can't, lt's just my luck,
He's the father of one of my students,
591
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:07,120
He has a Ph,D, and a great ass,
Let's not get dragged down by ethics,
592
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,280
Technically, he doesn't have
his Ph,D, yet,
593
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,760
-But yes, the ass thing, l know,
-God, let's not even mention the eyes,
594
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,920
-The crinkly smile,
-No, That would be wrong,
595
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,240
-So can l ask you a question?
-No,
596
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:22,040
You never would have left Kevin,
Would you?
597
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,960
lf he hadn't left me?
No, l don't think so,
598
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,800
But you weren't really happy,
599
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:33,120
Well, l figured that was the life l picked,
so l had to make the most of it,
600
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,600
l'm not even sure
l deserve a new life now,
601
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,160
Sometimes l think that was supposed
to be my one chance and l blew it,
602
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,400
Where did we get these bad attitudes,
you think?
603
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,760
-The nuns?
-Yeah, that works,
604
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,760
Let's blame the nuns,
Can l say one more thing?
605
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,240
You love me, l know,
606
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:54,720
l do,
607
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,360
l mean, l was really bad,
She did not see my A game,
608
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,640
Sounds like she didn't see
your B or C game,
609
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,960
l'm gonna call her again,
l want to ask her out, l need a mulligan,
610
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,160
Dog threw me,
l mean, the sun was in my eyes,
611
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:08,760
Pick someone else, start over,
612
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,600
No, this girl, there's something
special about this girl,
613
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,040
You know the expression
''she took my breath away''?
614
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,360
l mean, she did, l actually gasped,
l'm off the bench, man,
615
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,120
Think she'll see you again?
l wouldn't,
616
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:24,280
You're not nice,
Like, you're not a nice person,
617
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,240
-Hi, June,
-Hey, June,
618
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,440
-Hi, June,
-Hey, June,
619
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,560
Need more cupcakes,
All the dads are staying for the party,
620
00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,520
-What's up with that?
-l have no idea,
621
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:38,800
Every Halloween it's the same thing,
622
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,560
But l guess it's great how involved
they are in their kids' world, lsn't it?
623
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,000
-Yeah,
-Yeah,
624
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:46,920
Why don't you and Eric come over,
625
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:50,680
l'll rent a hopelessly romantic movie,
We can all hold hands together and cry,
626
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:52,720
Sounds fun, but we can't,
627
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,840
lt's our anniversary, and we always
spend it just the two of us,
628
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,200
Sweet,
629
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,800
Seven years ago tonight,
we met at my parents' house,
630
00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:02,760
They were trying to fix Eric up
with my sister,
631
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,040
Sorry we're late,
632
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:09,880
Austin drives so slow,
633
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,320
l hope my family
wasn't embarrassing last night,
634
00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:16,640
Oh, no, Not at all, They do seem
a little bit involved in your life,
635
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,000
Oh, yeah, Yeah,
636
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,000
Austin's mom's from a large family,
637
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,520
That's a lot of people
that don't speak to me,
638
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:27,360
-Thimbleful of juice?
-Sure, But just one,
639
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,440
-To good teachers,
-To good dads,
640
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:33,040
To good teachers
who are also very beautiful,
641
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:38,920
To good dads who
are dangerously cute and charming,
642
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,440
There you go,
643
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,640
There's an attraction here, Sarah,
You can't deny it,
644
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,320
-l'm not, l'm trying to ignore it,
-Why?
645
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,320
Well, for one, Austin is my student,
646
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,560
Two, we're in the puppet closet,
647
00:38:57,720 --> 00:39:01,760
-Couldn't we go out in the real world?
-l'm not so good in the real world,
648
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:06,240
l was looking at the handbook,
under ''dating, parents and teachers,''
649
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,720
-Nothing, There's nothing there,
-Sarah,
650
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:13,680
We need the emergency pants,
lt's an emergency,
651
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,880
Emergency pants,
Come on, sweetie,
652
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:29,760
Hey, babe, my name is Ron.
653
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,920
Mid-40s, handsome, totally toned,
5'7", 1 61 pounds...
654
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,920
...give or take a piece of pizza.
655
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,600
No, I'm not kidding. I'm totally toned.
Call me, you won't be sorry.
656
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:42,800
Hi, Sarah, it's Lennie.
657
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:46,800
I had a wonderful time, and I'm....
658
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,280
I'll call back.
659
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:57,320
Hi, Sarah? It's Jake Anderson,
the idiot from the dog park.
660
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,280
Actually, that was all a test
to see how you respond...
661
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,800
...to crazy people, and you passed.
662
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,720
So maybe we could see
each other again.
663
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,480
What do you say?
You want to give me another chance?
664
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:18,960
l had a couple of icebreakers,
665
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:23,320
l even had a few stories for you,
anecdotes, but l forgot them all,
666
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,560
-l think it might be that dress,
-My sister Carol made me buy it,
667
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:28,720
l love Carol,
668
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,440
-Well, this is a very charming place,
-Yeah,
669
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,000
-Good food?
-No, not particularly,
670
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:38,760
But l like the ambiance,
671
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,600
l come here because l know the owners,
the Parseghians, that couple over there,
672
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,040
-See? They're waving,
-They want us to join them,
673
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,440
A few years ago, in a moment
of blazing clarity,,,
674
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:49,920
,,,l forswore ethnic folk dancing, so,,,,
675
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:54,480
They'll come over and say hello
and maybe-- How are you? Hi!
676
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,920
-How are you?
-Hello,
677
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:02,560
Nice, right?
678
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,840
-Sarah, Mr, and Mrs, Parseghian,
-Hello,
679
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,280
-Welcome, Sarah,
-Thank you,
680
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,480
See you later, We'll drink,
681
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,560
-Absolutely,
-Okay,
682
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,680
-You speak Armenian,
-A little bit,
683
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,280
Well, what did you say?
684
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,720
l asked him, ''Where is the youth hostel?''
lt's all l remember,
685
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,520
Kind of a joke we have,
686
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,600
What is it that you do, exactly?
687
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:35,200
God, no wonder l live alone,
688
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:37,920
l build boats,
689
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,480
You know, these handcrafted
wooden sculls,,,
690
00:41:40,720 --> 00:41:43,200
-,,,rowing, The racing ones,
-Yeah, Really?
691
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,240
Yeah, Yep,
692
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,960
-Does anyone buy those?
-Nope, Not yet,
693
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,480
Everybody wants all these high-tech,,,
694
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,040
,,,fiberglass, you know, no turbulence,
695
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,280
Where's the fun in that ride?
l don't know,
696
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,360
-But they'll come around,
-Don't count on me, l get seasick,
697
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:00,840
-ln the bathtub,
-Really?
698
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,280
Yeah,
699
00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:05,880
You know what?
Can we just skip all the small talk?
700
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:10,440
-What?
-Can we skip the small talk? Just skip it?
701
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,320
You know, like, who are you?
Who am l?
702
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,000
What are we doing here together?
703
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,840
l have this theory that
when you first meet somebody,,,
704
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,640
,,,that's the time when
you have to be totally honest,,,
705
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:22,480
,,,because you have nothing to lose,
706
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,800
Five, 1 0 years down the road,
gets a lot harder,
707
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,560
You can't say one day,
''Happy anniversary, this is me,''
708
00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:29,960
lt doesn't work that way, This is it,
709
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,680
We'll never see each other as clearly
and as nakedly as we do in this moment,
710
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,680
Right now, This instant, l'm really
scaring you right now, aren't l?
711
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,320
Just a little bit, Yeah,
712
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,760
But, you know, on the one hand,,,
713
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,680
,,,you're very charming and interesting
and you have a lot of energy,
714
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,160
You know, on the other hand,
a little bit scary,
715
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:50,640
Okay,
716
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,960
Here's my story,
Here's what you need to know,
717
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:54,680
Okay,
718
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,360
l'm just divorced,
and l had my heart broken badly,,,
719
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:00,000
,,,by a woman that l really loved,
720
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:04,360
You know, but l think your heart
grows back bigger,
721
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,320
You know? Once you've got
the shit beat out of you,
722
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,480
And the universe lets
your heart expand that way,
723
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:14,600
l think that's the function of all this pain
and heartache that we all go through,
724
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:18,640
You gotta go through that to come out
to a better place, And that's how l see it,
725
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,480
What about you? Why is
a dazzling woman like you single?
726
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:28,520
You can do it,
You can just tell the truth,
727
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,080
lf you know the truth,
What have we got to lose?
728
00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:35,000
After the dinner we shake hands,
''good night,'' never see each other again,
729
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,040
All right,
730
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,440
He stopped loving me,
731
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:46,320
l don't know what l did
or what l didn't do,
732
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:48,440
He just stopped,
733
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,560
l don't think l've ever said
that out loud before,
734
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,200
See, we just had
an honest moment,
735
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,480
Now we can sit back
and enjoy our food,,,
736
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,440
,,,and get to know each other,
l'm Jake,
737
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,120
-Condom?
-You don't have one?
738
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,520
-Why would l have one?
-For occasions like this,
739
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,880
There haven't been
any occasions like this,
740
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,560
-You didn't bring one?
-l didn't want to jinx it,
741
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,600
This preschool of yours,
it's traditional? Developmental?
742
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,160
-Montessori?
-Yeah, yeah, All that, Drugstore!
743
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,520
There's a Rite Aid on 93rd,
Hang a left,
744
00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:01,920
-Should l take the freeway?
-Please turn left!
745
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:11,760
-ls this the fastest you can go?
-l could go faster, but we'd lift off,
746
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,680
-You drive,
-All right,
747
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,280
For big ones, you need five,
six coats of varnish,
748
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,920
For the singles,
it's a little bit different,
749
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,040
There's one right there, Jackpot!
750
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,520
They're out!
751
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,560
-How can they be out?
-l don't know,
752
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:43,800
But l have a theory,
753
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,680
Everybody in the whole city
is having sex,,,
754
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,800
,,,at the exact same moment
except us.
755
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:52,720
But we will press on,
756
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:14,960
What's wrong?
757
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:21,400
Well, the magic is gone a little,
758
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:23,800
Okay,
759
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:25,920
-l mean, l--
-No, no, l understand totally,
760
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,240
Look, you know,
There's other things we can do,
761
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,680
l'd be happy just to stay with you
and look at you all night,
762
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:35,040
Yeah, l haven't done this
in a while, And,,,,
763
00:46:35,240 --> 00:46:37,320
-And now you don't want to,
-Yeah,
764
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:38,680
-Yeah,
-Yeah,
765
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,360
That's all right, lf the magic's gone,
that implies there was once magic,
766
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:44,080
Not bad for a first date,
767
00:46:44,240 --> 00:46:47,360
-Second date,
-Second date, This is great,
768
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,600
-l had a great time,
-Me too,
769
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,040
So,,,
770
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,240
,,,good night,
771
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:03,080
-You still have to drive me home, though,
-Right, Because you don't live here,
772
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:07,160
Hello,
773
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:11,200
Don't worry, it's just me, l'm in
the kitchen, Filled your freezer again,
774
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,840
There's now enough meat
to feed every guy,,,
775
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,400
,,,who answered your ad and still--
776
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,280
-Jake Anderson, my sister Carol,
-Hi,
777
00:47:20,720 --> 00:47:24,840
-Hi,
-Jake did, in fact, answer the ad,
778
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:26,640
Do l get my meat?
779
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:30,680
Thank you,
780
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,760
Sorry to scare him away,
781
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,120
lt's okay, l think we both realized
it wasn't going to happen tonight,
782
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,440
What's the matter? He's so cute,
783
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:51,680
l don't know, We had a great night,
Laughing, really talking,
784
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:54,440
You had a guy talking
and you let him escape?
785
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,440
l'm not sure l actually understood
a lot of what he said,
786
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,160
Doesn't matter, He spoke,
787
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,960
And are we talking full sentences here
or just grunting?
788
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,840
He's quite emotional,
l know more about him than Kevin,
789
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:08,240
An emotional man who likes to talk,
790
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:11,880
-This is a mythical figure, Sarah,
-l don't think l'm ready for him,
791
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:15,360
He's looking for the whole dance
and l'm just relearning the steps,
792
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:19,280
What happened exactly?
Come on, tell me,
793
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,120
-Leave nothing out,
-Okay,
794
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,760
We really connected
at the restaurant, like l said,
795
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:27,680
But then, where do you go from there?
How much baba ganoush can you have?
796
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,960
Then we started making out,
which was like being in 1 1 th grade,
797
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,800
Then neither one of us had a condom,
which l think reflects some ambivalence,
798
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,640
l'm just not cut out for this,
Life in the fast lane,
799
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,840
Fast lane? You're not even
on the on-ramp,
800
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:44,720
-But these people seem happy,
-Of course they do, They have a condom,
801
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,840
Marc and l couldn't find a condom once,
Wanna know what we used?
802
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,320
-No,
-Saran Wrap,
803
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:54,040
Thanks for that image which will
stay in my brain for the rest of my life,
804
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:57,240
lt was sexy in a Good Housekeeping
kind of way,
805
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,160
l'll never be able to wrap
leftovers again,
806
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,560
-Did it work?
-Maeve was born nine months,,,
807
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:04,160
,,,and one day later,
808
00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:10,080
l don't wanna just do random dating,
Carol, l wanna be in love,
809
00:49:10,240 --> 00:49:12,800
l wanna wake up next to someone
and see them smile,
810
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,200
Do the whole Sunday breakfast thing,
go out and get the paper,
811
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:19,040
Stay in bed together all day,
812
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:21,440
Wouldn't we all?
813
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:32,320
Man, this is absolutely gorgeous, l love
this, l can't believe you built it yourself,
814
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:34,400
Yeah, handcrafted, Hand-carved,
815
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:36,880
l hope you'll find
that it's more than a boat,
816
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:38,360
lt's a time machine,
817
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,920
-l love it, l want it, l'll take it,
-Great,
818
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:42,920
Did you race a lot in college?
819
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,240
l don't plan to race it,
Could you cut it in half for me?
820
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,200
-Excuse me?
-Yeah, cut it in half lengthwise,
821
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,960
l think it would be easier
to mount on the wall that way,
822
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:53,520
You want to mount the boat?
823
00:49:53,720 --> 00:49:57,280
Yeah, l thought l'd put it in the den,
lt'd look great above my big screen,
824
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:01,120
You know, l think maybe you should go
to lKEA and buy a canoe,
825
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:03,760
lt's not for sale in that way,
826
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,040
-He's kidding, right?
-Wouldn't that be nice,
827
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,200
l've had this dream
that it'll end up wet,
828
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,760
lt's just not for sale in that way
at this time, Ever, really,
829
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,800
Okay, Well, if you change your mind,
l really do want it,
830
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:18,040
Yeah, if l change my personality,
l'll let you know what l become,
831
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:20,720
-Okay,
-Thanks so much,
832
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,000
-Nice guy,
-Stanley owes me a big favor,
833
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,080
-lt was a guaranteed sale,
-So what?
834
00:50:25,240 --> 00:50:27,360
Right, You can afford to be picky,
You sold,,,
835
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:29,640
,,,let's see, no boats, No boats at all,
836
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,760
You worry too much,
You really do,
837
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,800
You're in a good mood,
That must have been some date,
838
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,840
Charlie, you should have
seen this girl,
839
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,960
She's shy, she's fragile,
she's self-conscious,
840
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:47,040
She has no idea how beautiful she is,
She's a mess, lt's fantastic,
841
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,840
The evening didn't end up great,
but there were moments in there,,,
842
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,400
,,,where we were completely
and utterly ourselves,
843
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:56,520
l was completely psychotic,
but she was completely lovely,
844
00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:59,680
Are you thinking about completely
closing the sale any time soon?
845
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:02,280
l tell you about a night
with an unusual woman,,,
846
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:04,600
,,,and you turn it
into a business transaction,
847
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:06,520
We're not selling real estate here,
848
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:09,960
-And if we were selling real estate?
-We'd be in escrow this weekend,
849
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:21,720
l see Dad's not alone,
850
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:23,800
Never, Not our dad,
851
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,440
l'm not calling any of them Mom,
l'll tell you that,
852
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:30,520
-What is the new one's name again?
-l believe that is Marlene,
853
00:51:30,720 --> 00:51:32,880
There's a Linda,
but l don't think that's her,
854
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,040
-That's Dorothy,
-Well, who knew,
855
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:36,480
Hi there,
856
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:38,960
Aunt Eileen,
857
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,440
-You look wonderful,
-Thank you, dear,
858
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:45,600
You look fine too, considering,
859
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:50,200
We never liked Kevin,
We couldn't say anything, but we knew,
860
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:53,160
-That's so sweet,
-l hear you're not seeing anyone,
861
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:58,880
ls that wise? With the clock ticking?
Because l have someone special for you,
862
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:02,800
Casey Donovan,
Handsome, smart, single,
863
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:04,560
-Aunt Eileen,
-Yes?
864
00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:06,520
He's my first cousin,
865
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,360
This is a fine day for the Nolan family,
l tell you,
866
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:12,480
For my son, Bill Jr,
867
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:19,760
And young Ryan here,
the confirmation boy,
868
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,960
And old Bill here,
869
00:52:26,240 --> 00:52:29,000
l'd like to do a poem, if l may,
870
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:31,600
To commemorate the occasion,
871
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:33,200
Who do you think he'll go with?
872
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:34,600
-Tennyson,
-Browning,
873
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,400
-Yeats,
-''Brown Penny,''
874
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:38,840
By William Butler Yeats,
875
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:41,320
Who knows her daddy?
876
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:44,320
I whispered, "I am too young"
877
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:48,320
And then, "I am old enough "
878
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:53,800
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
879
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:59,600
"Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair. "
880
00:52:59,920 --> 00:53:03,160
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny
881
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:07,600
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
882
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,440
O love is the crooked thing
883
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:13,640
There is nobody wise enough
884
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:17,680
To find out all that is in it
885
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:23,960
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
886
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:27,480
And the shadows eaten the moon.
887
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:32,400
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny
888
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:36,760
One cannot begin it too soon.
889
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,760
-So good to see you, Aunt Eileen,
-lt's always a pleasure,
890
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:53,960
-Mother Teresa!
-Mother Teresa, No, Stop, Michael!
891
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,480
lt's okay, l don't mind,
892
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,400
-She doesn't mind,
-That's not the point,
893
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:03,800
She actually likes dogs, And me,
She just forgets,
894
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:05,960
-Bye,
-Sarah, Darling,
895
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,280
Some pressing business has come up,,,
896
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:11,480
,,,and l was hoping you'd ferry
Dolly home for me,
897
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:16,080
-Okay, Sure, Dad,
-l don't mind staying,
898
00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:18,840
You're a sweetheart, Both of you,
899
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:27,880
So, what do you think
of my competition?
900
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,760
l don't really wanna discuss
my father's--
901
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:36,160
Oh, it's okay, lt's okay, l know,
A woman always knows,
902
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,040
Not always,
903
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,760
-Your guy go younger?
-Yeah,
904
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:45,720
They always go younger, don't they?
905
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:48,440
lt does seem to trend that way,
doesn't it?
906
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:51,960
When they're 80, they want 60,
When they're 60, they want 40,
907
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,320
When they're 80, they want 40,
And they get it,
908
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,080
Goddamn supply and demand,
909
00:54:56,240 --> 00:54:58,840
We ought to kill the guy
who thought that one up,
910
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:04,040
-So you didn't see it coming, huh?
-No, l thought we were happy,
911
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:06,960
Maybe not ''happy'' happy,
but, you know, satisfied,
912
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:09,840
l thought we were happy three times,
913
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:11,800
Got a live one,
914
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:15,000
You gotta come take a look at this,
915
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:19,280
l love this lnternet,
lt's part fantasy, part community,
916
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:21,520
And you get to pay your bills naked,
917
00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:23,920
They don't stress that enough
as a selling point,
918
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:26,480
lt's Jeremy in San Diego,
919
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:29,600
He thinks l'm 1 6,
He inverted the numbers in my age,
920
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:32,880
-l didn't have the heart to tell him,
-That would've been cruel,
921
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:36,920
He comes to me for advice,
He thinks l'm very mature,
922
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:38,800
We're pinned,
923
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:41,800
-You're on this, aren't you?
-PerfectMatch,com,
924
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,960
-What, just one site?
-Yeah,
925
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:46,600
Honey, you gotta put more bets
on the table,
926
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:50,320
l'm on at least 1 0, You get to try out
different personalities,
927
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:51,800
Like here, l say:
928
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:57,440
''l'm into opera, antiques,
poetry in the original Greek,''
929
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:00,200
And on this one:
930
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:04,600
''l like to skydive, ride motorcycles
and enjoy rodeo,''
931
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:06,680
But you don't do any of those things,
932
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:10,960
lt's an ad, lt's like those cars that say
they get 30 miles to the gallon,
933
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,800
l mean, who knows,
934
00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:15,800
You just want someone
to take you out for a test drive,
935
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,200
l'm not comfortable advertising myself
this way,
936
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:22,760
Honey, when you get to be my age
and approaching your expiration date,,,
937
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:26,960
,,,it pays to advertise,
This baby never sleeps,
938
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:33,280
lt's working for me 24 hours a day,
God bless its little Pentium-chip heart,
939
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:35,720
So tell me about your ex,
940
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:39,160
Kevin, He's a fireman,
941
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,800
And cute, Very, very cute,
942
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:43,880
l have the calendars,
943
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:47,160
We met when l was dating
all my brothers' friends,
944
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,400
My first two husbands were friends
of my brother Dave,
945
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:54,800
Both of them bastards,
But then, so was my brother Dave,
946
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,960
Things seemed to be going according
to plan with me and Kevin,
947
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:03,560
We had our work, we got a house,
then it was time to have kids,
948
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:05,320
But he was never ready,
949
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:08,800
l was 34, Then 35, then 36,
950
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:13,120
Then instead of children, Kevin decided
to have Veronica, Ronnie,
951
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:16,120
Chatty as hell and 1 5 years younger,
952
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,240
They got married two months ago,
953
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:23,920
Did l mention that she's pregnant?
954
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:31,480
Go get it,
955
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:36,320
Hey,
956
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:42,200
-What are you doing in the real world?
-Dogsitting, My brother and his wife,,,
957
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:46,160
,,,are at marriage counseling, They don't
want her to know they're having trouble,
958
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:47,680
You're a dog guy,
959
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:51,320
You kidding me? l'm half Labrador,
Throw that ball, See who gets it,
960
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,560
-l found him, l found the one l want!
-Austin,
961
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,560
-l found my puppy!
-You did?
962
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:59,120
-l'm getting a puppy!
-You are? That's amazing!
963
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,400
-lt's so exciting!
-l'm so happy for you,
964
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:05,200
-Let's go get him!
-We'll be right behind you, bubba,
965
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:09,840
-Thought it'd be good for him,
-Great idea, Yeah,
966
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,480
l was gonna ask you
if you thought he was too young,
967
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:15,000
-But it's a good age, right?
-l think so, Yes,
968
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:17,040
-A boy needs a dog, right?
-Absolutely,
969
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:20,200
Who else is gonna eat
his vegetables for him?
970
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:25,160
l can't tell you what it means to me
that Austin's so happy in school,
971
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:27,800
He's just lucky to have you in his life,
972
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:29,200
We both are,
973
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:34,960
l found him, Dad, l found my puppy,
Come on in, he wants to kiss you!
974
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,400
Oh, l think you're gonna need
a bigger trailer,
975
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,960
-Hello?
-So l know our dates aren't beginning,,,
976
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,840
,,,or ending well,
but l find the middle intriguing,
977
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:57,560
-Well, it's not dull, is it?
-That's a good thing, right?
978
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:01,560
So, what do you say?
You want to get together?
979
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,640
You really want to give it
one more shot with me? Why?
980
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:08,040
Are you kidding me? You're this whole
new style, this whole new system,
981
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:09,800
Vivid grammar of eroticism,
982
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:13,520
A completely unique constellation
of attributes. My Halley's comet.
983
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,120
Do you write this stuff down?
984
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,280
No, that actually came out
of my head,
985
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:19,080
Sometimes l use notes,
986
00:59:20,560 --> 00:59:22,960
Hold on, Someone's at the door,
987
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:27,680
-Dolly, what a surprise,
-l'm in trouble, Sarah, l need help,
988
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:32,400
Hello? Sarah, is everything okay? Sarah.
989
00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:34,880
She can't talk now,
lt's an emergency,
990
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:40,160
lt's Jeremy from San Diego, He's here,
991
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:49,800
-l don't see why this is a problem,
-Well, for one thing, you are 1 7, and she's--
992
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:52,160
-Forty-one,
-Yeah, but those are just numbers,
993
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:54,360
Look at Justin Timberlake
and Cameron Diaz,
994
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:55,960
She's gotta be what, 1 00?
995
00:59:56,160 --> 01:00:00,000
Oh, come on, Jeremy, be nice,
She's probably the same age as me,
996
01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:03,400
Some people go their whole lives
looking for their soul mate,
997
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,920
And l found mine when l was 1 5,
Sue me,
998
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,760
Fifteen? You said you were 1 7,
999
01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:13,840
-Dude, it is so not cool to lie to me,
-l'm sorry,
1000
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:17,040
l didn't think you'd take me seriously
if you thought l was a kid,
1001
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:19,240
Of course l take you seriously,
1002
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:24,200
You're a wonderful boy, honey,
And we can always be friends,
1003
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:27,840
But just friends, You know that,
1004
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:33,560
-Okay,
-And there's something else,
1005
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:36,920
l'm not really 41 ,
1006
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:40,840
l'm 43,
1007
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:46,840
Do your homework,
1008
01:00:55,640 --> 01:00:59,960
l couldn't bring myself to go over 50,
lt wouldn't have been fair to him,
1009
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:04,280
-Good night,
-Night,
1010
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:07,920
-Thank you, Sarah,
-Anytime,
1011
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:32,560
Sarah, Hi,
1012
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:35,400
l was in the trailer-hood,
l thought l might stop by,
1013
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:36,960
Oh, good,
1014
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:39,320
Sarah? ls that you?
1015
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,560
-Sarah! Hi!
-June?
1016
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:46,240
-l didn't know you were--
-No, This is good, We're all here,
1017
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:47,840
We can have a conference,
1018
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:52,680
Oh, l'll just go home now and go to bed
and maybe stay there forever,
1019
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:55,920
Sarah has a friend
who lives practically next door,
1020
01:01:56,080 --> 01:01:58,920
That's cool, l love weird,
huge coincidences,
1021
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:01,280
-Yeah,
-Sure you don't want to come in?
1022
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:02,840
We opened a bottle of wine,
1023
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:06,640
Oh, l think l'd rather die,
but thank you, Yeah,
1024
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:25,800
-Hi,
-Hey, Jennifer kicked us out,
1025
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:28,440
-Both of us,
-Oh, Mikey,
1026
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:30,920
God, l'm so sorry,
1027
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:34,320
-She'll come around,
-l told him it's the holidays,
1028
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:36,360
People are under a lot of stress,
1029
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,520
l love this guy, l do, l love him,
1030
01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:40,480
-l love him,
-We've been talking,
1031
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:42,520
We've been here a while,
1032
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:45,720
-You all right?
-Yeah,
1033
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:47,640
-Let's go,
-Come on, Mother Teresa,
1034
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:51,360
-l hope it's okay that l stopped by,
-Oh, yes, Of course it is,
1035
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:53,040
l'm so glad you did,
1036
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,880
We were talking on the phone,
everything was going well,,,
1037
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:59,800
,,,and then some strange woman said
''emergency'' and hung up,
1038
01:02:59,960 --> 01:03:02,720
l called and no one answered,
so l was a little worried,
1039
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:05,480
-l think it's very sweet, Jake,
-lt's just a false alarm?
1040
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:07,240
-Definitely a false alarm,
-Good,
1041
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:10,840
No, my father's friend,
she got into a little bit of trouble,,,
1042
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:14,120
,,,and l had to help her out,
and so l went over there for a while,
1043
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:18,560
And after that
l just drove around a while,
1044
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:21,040
Alone, l was alone, And,,,,
1045
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:23,200
-Yeah, alone by yourself, sure,
-Yeah,
1046
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:25,320
Well, anyway, the reason
l stopped by,,,
1047
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:27,760
,,,was l wanted to invite you out
on my boat,
1048
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:30,320
-l don't think that's such a good idea,
-Yes, it is,
1049
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,240
No, because l,,,,
1050
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:34,960
Boats are still on the water, right?
1051
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:38,400
l hope so, otherwise l wasted
a lot of time designing the hull,
1052
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,160
Yeah, actually, they're aquatic,
1053
01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:44,120
-Well, l don't even know how to row,
-l'll teach you,
1054
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:48,920
-l'd love to teach you how to row,
-Okay, How?
1055
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:51,320
A challenge,
1056
01:03:52,280 --> 01:03:54,760
-We'll have a lesson right now, Okay?
-Okay,
1057
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:58,800
So the thing about rowing
is just you gotta relax, first of all,
1058
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:03,200
And then it's all about rhythm,
balance,,,
1059
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:05,000
-Rhythm and balance,
-,,,and timing,
1060
01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:07,600
-Watch those oars, pal,
-Okay,
1061
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:11,280
-And rhythm and timing, see?
-Balance and rhythm,
1062
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:14,800
-See, it's not that bad, is it?
-No, l like rowing,
1063
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:19,560
Then you want to make sure you get,
you know, your hair out of the way,
1064
01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:26,960
That's gotta hurt,
1065
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,920
-Michael?
-You okay, pal?
1066
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:32,760
Oh, no, Don't stop what you're doing,
l was on my way out,
1067
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:34,200
Easy there, Tex,
1068
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,880
-Where are you going?
-Oh, l just spoke to Jennifer,
1069
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:39,800
Everything's great, l got the couch,
the dog's gonna stay,
1070
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:42,440
You should stay here too,
You shouldn't be driving,
1071
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:45,080
-l'll drive him home, Okay?
-Yeah,
1072
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,760
l thought we were gonna,
you know, row the boat,
1073
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:53,160
We will, Just stay exactly here
and stay exactly you,,,
1074
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:56,840
,,,and l'll be back in about 1 5
to 20 seconds depending on traffic,
1075
01:04:57,000 --> 01:05:00,000
Just hold that thought,
Where do you live?
1076
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:04,560
Of course you realize when Jake
gets here, you'll have to excuse yourself,
1077
01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:13,640
Bob! Bobby, No, Bob,
1078
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:16,760
-You dropped these on my driveway,
-Oh, thank you,
1079
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:20,440
l'm really sorry, l'm sure
that seemed pretty awkward, huh?
1080
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:22,560
No, no, Routine, really,
1081
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:24,880
There's nothing going on
there with me and June,
1082
01:05:25,080 --> 01:05:27,960
They were late from the museum,
and l made her stay for dinner,
1083
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:30,080
Well, thank you for bringing these--
1084
01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:39,160
-You're back,
-Yeah, he,,,, He passed out,
1085
01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:41,720
He couldn't tell me where he lived,
1086
01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:46,160
-321 something,
-Yeah, that was all l got,
1087
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:50,200
-l'm Bob, by the way,
-Oh, my manners have completely left me,
1088
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:53,200
-l'm so sorry, Jake Anderson,
-How you doing?
1089
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:56,120
-My brother Michael,
-Oh, sorry, Here you go,
1090
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:57,760
Pleasure to meet you,
1091
01:05:57,920 --> 01:06:00,480
This is Bob Connor,
parent at the school,
1092
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:04,720
We were just,,,, What were we?
1093
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:08,520
Sarah left stuff at my place tonight,
thought it'd be better to get it back,
1094
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:10,160
l'll get out of the way,
1095
01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:12,760
-Talk to you tomorrow, Sarah, Okay?
-Okay,
1096
01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:16,320
-Nice to meet you guys,
-Pleasure,
1097
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:22,480
Hey, l better get going,
Where do you want me to put him?
1098
01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:24,560
-Maybe l'll put him here,
-No, you don't--
1099
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:26,240
We're sitting down now, buddy,
1100
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:29,600
Yeah, l,,,,
1101
01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:32,720
-l better get going,
-You don't have to go, You could stay, Sit,
1102
01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:37,040
No, no, no, Really, l should go,
1103
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:43,560
Jake, Jake, please let me explain,
1104
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:45,200
-You don't have to,
-l want to,
1105
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:46,720
l don't have any claim on you,
1106
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:49,640
We've seen each other what,
four times now? l realize that,
1107
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:51,240
You won't let me explain?
1108
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:55,560
Let me do it, You were lying because you
didn't want to hurt my feelings, l get it,
1109
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:14,560
If dogs are to prove their worth
as rescuers...
1110
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:18,360
...they must overcome their fears.
Again, Mass goes first.
1111
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:23,000
She's accustomed to the deafening noise
and turbulent winds of the helicopter.
1112
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:26,400
She's made these jumps
dozens of times before.
1113
01:07:26,560 --> 01:07:29,240
But the big question is,
how will the rookies perform?
1114
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:31,560
You could do this, You could,
1115
01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:34,040
They hesitate at the open door.
1116
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:45,600
Hey, l'm gonna head out,
1117
01:07:45,760 --> 01:07:50,040
-You forgot to take your headdress off,
-No, l didn't, Any plans for the holiday?
1118
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:52,440
Dad's house, a thousand relatives,
How about you?
1119
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:56,360
-Eric's parents are back in town,
-Now they're starting to piss me off,
1120
01:07:56,520 --> 01:08:00,560
-Oh, honey, if you need to cry, call me,
-Got you on speed dial,
1121
01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:05,120
Are we okay?
1122
01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:07,000
Sure, Why wouldn't we be?
1123
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:10,200
l had no idea you and Bobby were,,,,
1124
01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:12,840
Oh, we're nothing, June, Me and Bobby,
1125
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,200
Well, we're not either, Me and him,
1126
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:19,440
But he is one hot dad, though,
l so don't blame you for being interested,
1127
01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:21,160
''lnterested'' may be pushing it,
1128
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:25,800
Well, l'm not in that picture,
l just want you to know,
1129
01:08:30,960 --> 01:08:34,800
l love Thanksgiving,
l'm so glad l'm not cooking,
1130
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:37,480
Watch your back,
1131
01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:44,280
Now, before we tackle
this succulent-looking bird,,,
1132
01:08:44,480 --> 01:08:46,920
,,,we have some honored guests
with us today,
1133
01:08:47,560 --> 01:08:50,560
Marlene Swift, Dorothy Murphy,
1134
01:08:50,720 --> 01:08:52,680
And Dolly McCann,
1135
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:54,600
Hello, Dolly,
1136
01:08:55,080 --> 01:08:56,280
-Hi,
-Hey,
1137
01:08:58,280 --> 01:09:00,600
All three at the same table,
1138
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:06,160
The man has balls of steel,
1139
01:09:06,320 --> 01:09:08,040
We're very proud,
1140
01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:17,040
This was a great idea, lt's the perfect
place to spend Thanksgiving,
1141
01:09:17,200 --> 01:09:19,800
-l'm just sorry my parents aren't here,
-Next year,
1142
01:09:20,160 --> 01:09:22,160
You're not afraid
that'd be too sentimental?
1143
01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:24,520
No, lt's old family tradition,
1144
01:09:24,720 --> 01:09:28,280
-They have a great Sunday brunch here too,
-Did l tell you she was a teacher?
1145
01:09:28,440 --> 01:09:30,640
Preschool, Works with kids,
1146
01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:33,800
-Tiny, tiny little kids, You want kids?
-Oh, yeah, l love kids,
1147
01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:36,320
Want that white picket fence,
the whole deal,
1148
01:09:36,480 --> 01:09:39,200
She might've been the one, She's good,
She was interesting,
1149
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:40,840
l caught a glimpse, Something,
1150
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,880
You gotta stop obsessing
about the dog-park girl, Jake,
1151
01:09:44,080 --> 01:09:45,200
-l know,
-Move on,
1152
01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:46,400
l will,
1153
01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:49,800
This time you got written
out of Act 1 , Women are devious,
1154
01:09:49,960 --> 01:09:51,840
Self-serving, shallow,
1155
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:55,720
Not you, dear,
1156
01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:02,240
Okay, lf Casey Donovan's no good--
1157
01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:06,600
''lf''? What do you mean, ''if''?
His mother and my mother were sisters,
1158
01:10:06,960 --> 01:10:09,720
-Ron Detmer?
-He's my optometrist,
1159
01:10:09,880 --> 01:10:11,440
He's expecting your call,
1160
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:14,520
How many fingers am l holding up?
1161
01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:20,040
Sarah, great news,
l didn't want to get your hopes up,
1162
01:10:20,200 --> 01:10:23,000
But two guys in my office
just got divorced,
1163
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:25,320
-So much to be thankful for,
-Start with Richie,
1164
01:10:25,520 --> 01:10:27,240
lf that doesn't work, go with Jerry,
1165
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:30,680
-Richie first, Got it,
-Yeah, definitely go with Richie,
1166
01:10:35,520 --> 01:10:40,080
Better watch yourself, With those girls,
cleaning is a contact sport,
1167
01:10:44,480 --> 01:10:48,560
He's worth it, you know, your dad,
Despite all his shenanigans,
1168
01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:51,200
Besides, l'm having as much fun
as he is,
1169
01:10:51,720 --> 01:10:52,920
Why don't l believe you?
1170
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:58,600
Look, you care about someone, they're in
a lot of pain, you cut them some slack,
1171
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:02,360
l just thank God
he doesn't have a bigger table,
1172
01:11:06,800 --> 01:11:08,640
Hello,
1173
01:11:15,160 --> 01:11:17,760
One raised eyebrow,
Never a good sign,
1174
01:11:18,040 --> 01:11:19,960
How do you remember
all their names, Dad?
1175
01:11:20,120 --> 01:11:22,640
Let alone birthdays
and religious affiliations?
1176
01:11:22,840 --> 01:11:27,480
-l have it all on a disk, That way--
-l really don't want to know,
1177
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:31,840
You're in different leagues, Dad,
You and Dolly,
1178
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:33,920
l think she's starting
to fall for you,
1179
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:36,200
-Well, l'm sorry if--
-No, you're not,
1180
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:39,400
Because being a man today means
never having to say you're sorry,
1181
01:11:39,560 --> 01:11:41,560
l resent how easy this all is for you,
1182
01:11:41,760 --> 01:11:44,360
You've got women coming and going,
cooking, cleaning,
1183
01:11:44,560 --> 01:11:47,400
They're probably tuning up your car
for all l know,
1184
01:11:47,560 --> 01:11:51,200
All that matters to you guys is the tushies
are tight and the bellies are flat,
1185
01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:54,000
Meanwhile, caring, interesting,
compassionate women,,,
1186
01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:55,960
,,,of a certain age sit home alone,,,
1187
01:11:56,120 --> 01:12:00,080
,,,reading Jane Austen, eating ice cream,
which makes them less likely to find--
1188
01:12:00,280 --> 01:12:04,040
Are we still talking about me?
Because l can't tell anymore,
1189
01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:07,440
No, l'm sorry, Dad, l can't either,
1190
01:12:07,920 --> 01:12:09,400
lt's all right,
1191
01:12:09,560 --> 01:12:11,920
l just don't want to see Dolly get hurt,
1192
01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:14,240
l don't either,
1193
01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:16,360
But it's different for me,
1194
01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:20,560
l've had the love of my life,
1195
01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:24,040
And no one else
could ever touch that,
1196
01:12:24,440 --> 01:12:26,440
No one can come close,
1197
01:12:29,160 --> 01:12:31,440
So l'm just out there,,,
1198
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:32,800
,,,passing the time,
1199
01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:36,480
Tap-dancing, if you want the truth,
1200
01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:40,440
Maybe if l dance fast enough,,,
1201
01:12:41,680 --> 01:12:44,240
,,,l won't remember what l've lost,
1202
01:12:45,080 --> 01:12:46,680
You see?
1203
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:00,560
l'll be right there,
1204
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:02,640
Hi, can l--?
1205
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:06,120
Look who's here, lt's you,
1206
01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:07,840
Yes, your worst nightmare,
1207
01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:11,480
-The single-chicken-breast lady,
-You wanna at least hear the specials?
1208
01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:14,520
l'm supposed to tell them to you,
that's all,
1209
01:13:14,720 --> 01:13:16,320
Just the chicken breast,
1210
01:13:16,640 --> 01:13:19,160
lt's rough out there, huh?
You wanna talk about it?
1211
01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:21,120
You know, you're not a bartender,
1212
01:13:21,720 --> 01:13:24,120
Have you tried the lnternet?
l mean, it really works,
1213
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:28,960
-You know, l met my wife online, and she--
-Chicken, Now,
1214
01:14:05,280 --> 01:14:07,200
Why not?
1215
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:13,440
And l've been to ltaly a lot too,
l just got back from Rome,,,
1216
01:14:13,600 --> 01:14:18,240
,,,where l took this fabulous in-depth
tour called ''As the Romans Do,''
1217
01:14:18,400 --> 01:14:22,520
-The guide was incredible,
-l took that tour, Big fat guy, right?
1218
01:14:22,720 --> 01:14:25,080
Before that, Switzerland,
l got caught in a storm,
1219
01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:28,680
-l almost died in a blizzard once,
-l lived up in the Alps for a year,
1220
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:31,120
They had to cut me out
of the snow with scissors,
1221
01:14:31,280 --> 01:14:35,280
My aunt had a farm, ln the morning, we'd
warm ourselves with the coals of the fire,
1222
01:14:35,440 --> 01:14:37,960
l learned to make goat cheese,
lt was very Heidi,
1223
01:14:43,880 --> 01:14:48,080
Well, l just think it's wonderful how much
you care about your children, Peter, Really,
1224
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:51,040
lt's not always the case,
l'm a teacher, l know,
1225
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:54,520
Well, it's just my daughter, She's 1 4,
1226
01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:57,120
But she's everything to me,
1227
01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:13,600
-Were you surprised that l called?
-Little bit,
1228
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:15,320
But happy,
1229
01:15:15,840 --> 01:15:17,960
Well, l figured what the hell,
1230
01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:21,480
lt's time to take control of my life,
New Sarah,
1231
01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:27,360
-l liked the old Sarah, you know,
-New and improved,
1232
01:16:20,120 --> 01:16:21,760
-Good morning,
-Hi,
1233
01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:23,240
Hi,
1234
01:16:24,640 --> 01:16:28,880
-What time is it?
-lt's a little after 9,
1235
01:16:29,800 --> 01:16:31,440
Damn,
1236
01:16:34,560 --> 01:16:37,640
Do you mind if we take that and go?
l don't wanna run into traffic,
1237
01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:41,600
-Oh, it's Sunday,
-Yeah, l got a game today,
1238
01:16:46,240 --> 01:16:50,000
-You gonna eat that?
-No, Here,
1239
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:52,920
Thank you,
1240
01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:57,000
You did sleep with June, didn't you?
1241
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:04,040
Does it matter? Really?
1242
01:17:04,760 --> 01:17:06,800
lt's just that you told me
nothing happened,
1243
01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:11,000
l knew we'd be great together, l didn't
want anything to get in the way of that,
1244
01:17:11,880 --> 01:17:13,560
And we were,
1245
01:17:15,880 --> 01:17:17,280
Yeah,
1246
01:17:31,880 --> 01:17:35,000
That was fun, Thanks a lot,
l'll call you,
1247
01:17:37,600 --> 01:17:40,440
-You mad at me?
-No, l'm not mad at you,
1248
01:17:40,600 --> 01:17:44,320
-Good, l was afraid something had--
-l'm mad at myself for trusting you,
1249
01:17:44,480 --> 01:17:46,640
For not listening
to that voice that said:
1250
01:17:46,800 --> 01:17:51,440
''He is a shallow, self-centered bastard,''
Which is what you are, you stupidhead!
1251
01:17:52,040 --> 01:17:55,560
Maybe l have been teaching preschool
too long, but you took advantage of me,
1252
01:17:55,720 --> 01:17:59,320
You knew how vulnerable l was,
l was the weak impala of the herd,
1253
01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:02,960
And you pounced on that with that whole
sensitive dad-of-the-year act,
1254
01:18:03,120 --> 01:18:05,040
And, ''We're adopting a puppy,''
1255
01:18:05,240 --> 01:18:07,800
And the fake professor thing
with these fake glasses,
1256
01:18:07,960 --> 01:18:09,920
These aren't even real,
are they?
1257
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:14,280
Sorry,
1258
01:18:15,120 --> 01:18:19,120
l just hate guys like you,
l hate guys like you!
1259
01:18:51,280 --> 01:18:53,320
But this is a good look for you, Sarah,
1260
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:57,440
You've gone beyond pajamas
and are now wearing the bed,
1261
01:18:58,320 --> 01:19:01,720
Oh, God, l just went after
the wrong guy again, Like always,
1262
01:19:01,880 --> 01:19:04,880
l slept with a man
who's not my husband,
1263
01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:07,000
l'm promiscuous,
1264
01:19:07,240 --> 01:19:10,160
We should redo your profile
and put that in it,
1265
01:19:13,280 --> 01:19:16,960
Oh, God, l'm a complete
and total love failure,
1266
01:19:19,320 --> 01:19:22,720
-Oh, no,
-Stop it, it's not that funny,
1267
01:19:22,920 --> 01:19:24,360
Stop laughing,
1268
01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:27,720
What about that cute guy l met?
Condom man,
1269
01:19:27,880 --> 01:19:31,080
-Yes, that's how he likes to be known,
-Condom man?
1270
01:19:31,240 --> 01:19:35,120
-Sounds like a superhero,
-l can't,
1271
01:19:35,280 --> 01:19:38,880
He hates me, And l don't blame him,
1272
01:19:39,120 --> 01:19:42,120
No, l had my chance with him,
and l blew it,
1273
01:19:45,680 --> 01:19:47,720
Let's go watch Beaches,
1274
01:19:47,880 --> 01:19:49,800
Oh, my God,
1275
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:58,520
When they remake this, they gotta
add a happy ending and nudity,
1276
01:19:58,720 --> 01:20:02,600
They won't remake it, Nobody wants
to watch this kind of yearning nowadays,
1277
01:20:02,760 --> 01:20:04,320
lt's too painful,
1278
01:20:04,520 --> 01:20:06,880
-Modern man can't take it,
-This has gotta end,
1279
01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:08,920
There's a world beyond Zhivago-land,
1280
01:20:09,080 --> 01:20:11,280
Forget about the dog-park girl
and live again,
1281
01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:13,920
You think your friend still wants
to buy my boat?
1282
01:20:14,080 --> 01:20:16,040
Let him chop it up,
stick it on his wall,
1283
01:20:16,280 --> 01:20:19,640
-Call him,
-Seriously?
1284
01:20:19,960 --> 01:20:24,680
Tell him to come by the boat basin
this weekend, l'll row it down myself,
1285
01:20:25,360 --> 01:20:29,200
And call some of those insane,
pansexual girls you're so fond of,
1286
01:20:29,360 --> 01:20:32,440
l want a date every day
until Christmas,
1287
01:20:36,520 --> 01:20:40,080
-Where have you been all my life?
-Waiting for you,
1288
01:20:45,640 --> 01:20:48,760
You are absolutely perfect,
You know that, don't you?
1289
01:20:48,920 --> 01:20:51,440
l do, But it's still nice to hear,
1290
01:20:52,000 --> 01:20:54,280
Hello, hello, Hi,
1291
01:20:54,840 --> 01:20:56,840
Look at you, cute jammies,
1292
01:20:57,040 --> 01:21:01,240
Already in them, a little early for that,
Come on, have a seat,
1293
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:03,520
Eric, come on,
1294
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,160
All right, Now,,,
1295
01:21:06,360 --> 01:21:09,400
,,,Eric and l are here to cheer you up,
and we have many options,
1296
01:21:09,560 --> 01:21:10,800
l'm ready,
1297
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:14,760
First, there's line dancing at the Grove,
Very Southwest, mid-'80s,
1298
01:21:14,920 --> 01:21:17,000
-Too gay,
-Or,,,
1299
01:21:17,200 --> 01:21:20,640
,,,we can use these
teacher gift certificates,,,
1300
01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:23,520
-,,,for midnight manicures,
-Perfect, Can we do that?
1301
01:21:23,880 --> 01:21:26,160
-That's not too gay?
-No,
1302
01:21:26,880 --> 01:21:28,920
He keeps the mystery alive,
doesn't he?
1303
01:21:32,520 --> 01:21:34,320
What color?
1304
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:36,920
White, Caucasian,
1305
01:21:37,120 --> 01:21:39,760
What color nail? After wax,
1306
01:21:42,160 --> 01:21:45,480
-l don't know, What do you think?
-Your nail, not mine,
1307
01:21:45,800 --> 01:21:47,760
The light pink one, Yeah,
1308
01:21:48,840 --> 01:21:50,840
Not much love life, huh?
1309
01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:53,000
Not getting younger,
1310
01:21:57,520 --> 01:21:58,800
Did you hear that?
1311
01:21:58,960 --> 01:22:01,520
What is that? Why do l always get
the surly manicurist?
1312
01:22:01,680 --> 01:22:04,840
l don't know, Does a good job, right?
1313
01:22:05,520 --> 01:22:07,200
Oh, my God,
1314
01:22:11,040 --> 01:22:12,720
Oh, my God,
1315
01:22:15,200 --> 01:22:16,840
l'll be right back,
1316
01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:23,720
Jake!
1317
01:22:23,880 --> 01:22:26,200
-Jake!
-Sarah,
1318
01:22:26,360 --> 01:22:29,480
-Jake! Hi,
-Hi,
1319
01:22:29,640 --> 01:22:33,680
This is so weird, because l've been
thinking about you so much,
1320
01:22:33,880 --> 01:22:37,560
Nice to see you, Oh, you're all--
You look like--
1321
01:22:37,920 --> 01:22:40,520
l keep thinking about you,
1322
01:22:40,720 --> 01:22:44,040
What do they call those?
Pot sticker, with the potholders,
1323
01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:48,040
Hi, l'm ready, Jake,
Sorry l took so long,
1324
01:22:48,200 --> 01:22:50,240
Hi, l'm Sherry,
1325
01:22:50,400 --> 01:22:52,400
-Hi,
-This is Sarah,
1326
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:55,400
-We just saw Doctor Zhivago at the Grand,
-Yeah,
1327
01:22:55,600 --> 01:22:59,200
-Doctor Zhivago,
-lt's Jake's favorite movie,
1328
01:22:59,360 --> 01:23:02,960
-l didn't get it,
-Oh, l've seen it like 20 times,
1329
01:23:03,120 --> 01:23:04,160
-Really?
-Really?
1330
01:23:04,320 --> 01:23:07,600
-Yeah,
-Why? lt's so depressing,
1331
01:23:07,760 --> 01:23:09,920
Everybody's freezing their asses off,
1332
01:23:10,080 --> 01:23:12,400
-They're Communists, right?
-Yeah,
1333
01:23:12,640 --> 01:23:16,320
l guess l keep hoping that one time,
Lara and Yuri will get together again,
1334
01:23:16,520 --> 01:23:19,960
ln the springtime, preferably,
And wear shorts,
1335
01:23:21,560 --> 01:23:23,960
Okay, but they can't,
because it's just a movie,
1336
01:23:26,200 --> 01:23:29,560
-lt's a book too,
-Yeah, that's cruel,
1337
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:31,360
Yeah,
1338
01:23:32,480 --> 01:23:33,920
Anyway,,,,
1339
01:23:36,080 --> 01:23:38,360
Thanks for bringing that up,
1340
01:23:41,680 --> 01:23:44,280
Okay, l have to go get de-waxed,
1341
01:23:44,720 --> 01:23:47,040
Sarah, it was really nice
seeing you again,
1342
01:23:47,880 --> 01:23:51,600
-Nice to meet you,
-Nice to meet you,
1343
01:23:51,760 --> 01:23:53,840
Not again,
1344
01:23:54,160 --> 01:23:56,480
Yes, Thank,,,,
1345
01:23:57,160 --> 01:23:59,160
Yeah, Bye,
1346
01:23:59,560 --> 01:24:03,520
-Do you want to be Russians tonight?
-Let's go,
1347
01:24:28,480 --> 01:24:30,680
Well, Sherry, l think l'm gonna say
good night,
1348
01:24:31,920 --> 01:24:34,080
-You're not coming in?
-No, l'm kind of tired,
1349
01:24:34,240 --> 01:24:37,360
-l'm gonna go home,
-Aren't we gonna do the Russian thing?
1350
01:24:40,560 --> 01:24:43,000
That's Russian for ''no,''
1351
01:24:43,160 --> 01:24:47,360
-Was it something that l did--?
-No, no, no, l'm just really tired,
1352
01:24:47,520 --> 01:24:51,000
-Tired, Yeah, it was a long movie,
-Really long,
1353
01:24:56,880 --> 01:24:58,320
Bye,
1354
01:25:02,120 --> 01:25:04,200
lt seemed like it
was gonna be so perfect,
1355
01:25:04,400 --> 01:25:07,800
You chase him down the street,
he turns, he sees you,,,
1356
01:25:08,000 --> 01:25:10,960
,,,he takes you in his arms,
fireworks explode,
1357
01:25:11,720 --> 01:25:13,200
lt's happily ever after,
1358
01:25:13,360 --> 01:25:16,120
You're leaving out the part
where he was with another woman,
1359
01:25:16,280 --> 01:25:17,520
l say you call him,
1360
01:25:17,680 --> 01:25:21,200
Or better yet, go over there, break into
his house, throw yourself at him,,,
1361
01:25:21,360 --> 01:25:23,840
,,,make a complete fool of yourself,
lt worked for me,
1362
01:25:24,080 --> 01:25:28,040
-lt was very effective,
-No, he's with someone else,
1363
01:25:28,360 --> 01:25:31,720
l have to face it, it's just not
gonna work out with us,
1364
01:25:32,160 --> 01:25:34,560
And you'd really like it to,
wouldn't you?
1365
01:25:37,080 --> 01:25:39,280
l can't take this,
This is breaking my heart,
1366
01:25:39,440 --> 01:25:42,400
Mine too,
But let's look on the bright side,
1367
01:25:42,560 --> 01:25:44,160
-Your nails look fabulous,
-They do,
1368
01:25:44,480 --> 01:25:46,720
They look so good, Let me see those,
1369
01:25:47,400 --> 01:25:49,440
-Look at these hands,
-Thank you, guys,
1370
01:25:55,960 --> 01:25:58,600
Turn around, this is your favorite part,
1371
01:26:01,680 --> 01:26:04,200
She's wearing that hat you like,
1372
01:26:12,400 --> 01:26:16,080
That's my side, thank you very much,
1373
01:26:17,120 --> 01:26:19,040
Mother Teresa,
1374
01:26:23,760 --> 01:26:25,920
l love you too,
1375
01:26:43,200 --> 01:26:44,560
You like her?
1376
01:26:44,760 --> 01:26:46,640
-She's a handsome boat,
-Yeah,
1377
01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:49,200
Reminds one of the longboats
they would run,,,
1378
01:26:49,400 --> 01:26:51,960
,,,out of the sweet harbor at Bantry Bay,
1379
01:26:52,120 --> 01:26:56,440
Actually, l designed this one based
on a Portuguese boat,
1380
01:26:56,640 --> 01:26:58,440
But historically, you're correct, yeah,
1381
01:26:58,600 --> 01:27:00,800
-You built this boat yourself?
-Yes, sir,
1382
01:27:00,960 --> 01:27:02,680
-You build boats?
-No, no,
1383
01:27:02,880 --> 01:27:05,520
Truth be told, l don't know
the first thing about them,
1384
01:27:05,720 --> 01:27:08,720
-But l do appreciate a work of art,
-Well, thank you, sir,
1385
01:27:08,920 --> 01:27:12,840
l'm about to sell this work of art to a guy
who's gonna cut it in half,,,
1386
01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:14,840
-,,,and stick it on his wall,
-Oh, no,
1387
01:27:15,000 --> 01:27:19,000
Yeah, l'm about to take her out for a last
paddle before l meet the butcher at noon,
1388
01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:20,880
Why would you do a thing like that?
1389
01:27:21,040 --> 01:27:24,440
lt's a long story, Something about
the violation of expectations,,,
1390
01:27:24,640 --> 01:27:28,200
,,,and a crushing loss of faith
in love and life and art,
1391
01:27:28,360 --> 01:27:30,400
-So it's a girl,
-Yes,
1392
01:27:30,640 --> 01:27:33,440
l've had a little girl trouble
myself lately,
1393
01:27:33,640 --> 01:27:37,360
But better to have loved
and lost, Am l right?
1394
01:27:37,520 --> 01:27:40,160
She was a unique constellation
of attributes,
1395
01:27:40,320 --> 01:27:42,800
She was my Halley's comet,
1396
01:27:42,960 --> 01:27:45,520
But-- Universe is designed
to break your heart, yes?
1397
01:27:45,720 --> 01:27:49,960
A philosopher as well as an artist,
Yes, it's we who suffer most,
1398
01:27:50,160 --> 01:27:53,840
Yes, With the possible exception
being the victims of violent crime,
1399
01:27:54,840 --> 01:27:59,200
-Well, it's been a pleasure to meet you, sir,
-No, no, pleasure's all mine, Jake,
1400
01:27:59,400 --> 01:28:02,000
-Bill, l have a daughter who would--
-No, no,
1401
01:28:02,200 --> 01:28:04,040
Never mind, No, no, Sorry,
1402
01:28:13,000 --> 01:28:15,240
Well, this is a surprise,
1403
01:28:15,400 --> 01:28:19,120
Can't a father pay a visit to his daughter
on a beautiful Sunday morning?
1404
01:28:19,320 --> 01:28:22,920
Carol called you, didn't she? She's afraid
l'm getting into my pajamas again,
1405
01:28:23,080 --> 01:28:26,760
Actually, Carol called Christine,
Christine called Michael,,,
1406
01:28:26,920 --> 01:28:29,400
-,,,Michael called me,
-Any word from Aunt Eileen?
1407
01:28:29,560 --> 01:28:32,600
She said to tell you that
Casey Donovan was adopted,
1408
01:28:32,800 --> 01:28:34,360
lf that helps,
1409
01:28:34,520 --> 01:28:37,440
Well, at this point, he's starting
to look awfully good,
1410
01:28:37,880 --> 01:28:39,920
He's out there, Sarah,
1411
01:28:41,200 --> 01:28:44,120
Someone who would appreciate
all you have to offer,
1412
01:28:46,000 --> 01:28:49,680
After all, you're this unique
constellation of attributes,
1413
01:28:49,880 --> 01:28:52,120
-You're Halley's comet--
-What did you just say?
1414
01:28:52,760 --> 01:28:55,160
lt's a nice turn of phrase,
but it's not my own,
1415
01:28:55,360 --> 01:28:58,040
l heard it from a young man
l met this morning,
1416
01:28:58,200 --> 01:28:59,920
Builds beautiful lrish boats,
1417
01:29:00,520 --> 01:29:04,640
Poor lad, Had his heart broken
by a woman he deeply cared about,
1418
01:29:05,280 --> 01:29:06,760
Deeply,
1419
01:29:07,720 --> 01:29:11,200
-Jake, Jake!
-Hello there,
1420
01:29:11,400 --> 01:29:16,320
Hi, Hi, l'm looking for Jake,
Jake Anderson, ls he here?
1421
01:29:16,480 --> 01:29:19,800
-No, he isn't, But lucky for us, l am,
-l don't have time for this,
1422
01:29:19,960 --> 01:29:23,080
-Do you know where he is?
-You're ''must love dogs,'' aren't you?
1423
01:29:23,240 --> 01:29:25,760
You've already crushed him,
he's been moping for weeks,
1424
01:29:25,960 --> 01:29:28,080
He's even given up
the whole wooden-boat thing,
1425
01:29:28,240 --> 01:29:30,120
-You've done enough,
-That's all wrong,
1426
01:29:30,280 --> 01:29:32,160
l have to talk to him, Where is he?
1427
01:29:32,360 --> 01:29:34,280
-l can't tell you that,
-Where is he?
1428
01:29:34,440 --> 01:29:36,240
l'm not telling you,
1429
01:29:37,640 --> 01:29:39,600
You know the bridge
by the boat ramp?
1430
01:29:48,280 --> 01:29:49,640
Jake?
1431
01:29:51,080 --> 01:29:52,640
Jake,
1432
01:29:53,400 --> 01:29:55,120
Jake!
1433
01:30:03,680 --> 01:30:07,240
-l'd like to rent a boat, please,
-l'm sorry, we're all out of boats,
1434
01:30:12,560 --> 01:30:15,480
-All right, come on,
-Oh, a love chase,
1435
01:30:15,640 --> 01:30:17,640
Come on, girl, you can do this,
1436
01:30:17,800 --> 01:30:21,240
This is really important to me,
Come on,
1437
01:30:21,680 --> 01:30:23,240
l think he could be the one,
1438
01:30:23,880 --> 01:30:25,320
Come on, girls, let's get going,
1439
01:30:25,720 --> 01:30:29,000
Push! Push!
1440
01:30:29,920 --> 01:30:33,080
Push! Push!
1441
01:30:33,240 --> 01:30:35,720
Push, push!
1442
01:30:35,880 --> 01:30:40,680
Push! Push! Push!
1443
01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:42,880
-Push!
-Push!
1444
01:30:43,040 --> 01:30:45,200
That's him, l see him!
1445
01:30:45,400 --> 01:30:48,360
Jake! Jake!
1446
01:30:51,720 --> 01:30:53,720
Stop the boat!
1447
01:30:54,080 --> 01:30:55,720
Never mind,
1448
01:30:59,680 --> 01:31:01,400
Okay, girl, here we go,
1449
01:31:01,560 --> 01:31:03,400
Jake!
1450
01:31:13,800 --> 01:31:15,840
Here she goes!
1451
01:31:20,360 --> 01:31:21,880
Jake,
1452
01:31:22,400 --> 01:31:24,200
What are you doing?
1453
01:31:25,400 --> 01:31:27,960
All right, Here we go,
All the way up, Almost,
1454
01:31:31,240 --> 01:31:32,520
-Come on, girl,
-Come on,
1455
01:31:32,720 --> 01:31:34,480
-Good girl, you can do it,
-Here we go,
1456
01:31:34,640 --> 01:31:36,680
-Watch your paws there,
-Easy, easy,
1457
01:31:41,880 --> 01:31:45,560
Cold, Cold, Very cold,
1458
01:31:48,000 --> 01:31:49,440
Here we go,
1459
01:31:51,760 --> 01:31:53,000
Thank you,
1460
01:31:54,760 --> 01:31:56,960
Was there something you wanted
to say to me?
1461
01:31:57,600 --> 01:31:59,120
Yes,
1462
01:31:59,280 --> 01:32:00,880
Could have just called,
1463
01:32:01,080 --> 01:32:03,880
Perhaps that would have been
the wiser course, yes,
1464
01:32:04,320 --> 01:32:05,880
What's up?
1465
01:32:07,080 --> 01:32:11,080
l owe you my story,
You asked me for honesty,,,
1466
01:32:11,240 --> 01:32:14,680
,,,and it scared the hell out of me,
and l held back,,,
1467
01:32:14,840 --> 01:32:17,400
,,,and l didn't want to let you
see the real me,
1468
01:32:17,600 --> 01:32:20,160
Because l was afraid
of getting hurt again,
1469
01:32:21,000 --> 01:32:25,440
But, listen, l hear that the universe
lets your heart expand,,,
1470
01:32:25,600 --> 01:32:29,200
,,,and grow back even bigger
after you go through all that pain,
1471
01:32:29,400 --> 01:32:32,800
Well, l believe that now,
1472
01:32:32,960 --> 01:32:36,000
And l was just wishing
there was a way that,,,
1473
01:32:36,200 --> 01:32:39,480
,,,l could have another chance
to make this work,
1474
01:32:49,560 --> 01:32:51,320
l'll be right with you,
1475
01:32:51,760 --> 01:32:53,960
Hi, how can l--?
1476
01:32:54,160 --> 01:32:55,440
Don't worry, l got it,
1477
01:32:55,600 --> 01:32:58,760
Single chicken breast, no dating advice,
coming right up,
1478
01:32:58,920 --> 01:33:01,840
Actually, l would like to have
three whole fryers, please,
1479
01:33:02,000 --> 01:33:05,000
And six pork chops and a lamb shank,
1480
01:33:05,200 --> 01:33:07,520
And do you have any dog bones
back there?
1481
01:33:09,040 --> 01:33:12,720
lf you do, throw them in the cart,
What are the specials today?
1482
01:33:13,240 --> 01:33:14,360
Yes,
1483
01:33:25,720 --> 01:33:27,200
Thank you.
1484
01:33:31,840 --> 01:33:34,360
How many people
are actually in this family?
1485
01:33:37,400 --> 01:33:39,120
-Hey,
-Hey,
1486
01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:40,760
Get down,
1487
01:33:43,240 --> 01:33:44,520
Down!
1488
01:34:08,240 --> 01:34:09,920
How did we meet?
1489
01:34:10,080 --> 01:34:12,840
-Oh, that's a great story, Tell it, hon,
-Great story,
1490
01:34:13,000 --> 01:34:16,560
Well, actually,
it's a very romantic story,
1491
01:34:16,720 --> 01:34:18,800
-You tell it, Carol,
-No, go ahead, honey,
1492
01:34:18,960 --> 01:34:22,200
No, no, really, you should,
She tells this story great,
1493
01:34:23,280 --> 01:34:25,000
You don't remember, do you?
1494
01:34:26,280 --> 01:34:29,320
Don't remember? How we met?
1495
01:34:35,840 --> 01:34:37,960
l don't remember,
1496
01:34:38,840 --> 01:34:40,920
But l love her,
1497
01:34:42,040 --> 01:34:43,240
l love her!
1498
01:34:43,440 --> 01:34:45,840
Love is not reserved for the young,
you know,
1499
01:34:46,160 --> 01:34:47,320
As the poet said:
1500
01:34:47,480 --> 01:34:50,160
Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be
1501
01:34:50,320 --> 01:34:51,680
-Yeats?
-No,
1502
01:34:51,840 --> 01:34:54,040
-Tennyson?
-No,
1503
01:34:54,200 --> 01:34:56,440
-Browning,
-Browning,
1504
01:34:56,600 --> 01:34:58,360
Who knows her daddy?
1505
01:34:58,560 --> 01:35:02,560
Oh, my gosh, l did not think
l was ready to settle down,,,
1506
01:35:02,800 --> 01:35:05,400
,,,but look at the size of this rock,
1507
01:35:05,600 --> 01:35:09,360
And you want to know what else?
l'm gonna get a cute little tattoo,,,
1508
01:35:09,520 --> 01:35:12,080
,,,in someplace that's
N-O-N of your business,
1509
01:35:12,240 --> 01:35:15,440
And wanna know what it's gonna say?
1510
01:35:15,840 --> 01:35:18,760
''Mrs, Casey Donovan,''
1511
01:35:21,040 --> 01:35:23,240
The best place to meet someone,,,
1512
01:35:23,400 --> 01:35:27,000
,,,is Parseghian's Armenian restaurant
in Koreatown,
1513
01:35:27,160 --> 01:35:29,520
l don't care if you're young,
you're old,,,
1514
01:35:29,680 --> 01:35:31,640
,,,you're single, you're divorced--
1515
01:35:32,960 --> 01:35:33,960
l'm getting there,
1516
01:35:35,400 --> 01:35:38,200
7 1 00 First Street,
1517
01:35:38,400 --> 01:35:41,160
Wednesday, mother-in-law night,
1518
01:35:41,360 --> 01:35:42,920
All she can eat,
1519
01:35:47,360 --> 01:35:49,720
-ln a dog park,
-Dog park, yeah,
1520
01:35:50,040 --> 01:35:51,440
-lt's true,
-l know,
1521
01:35:51,600 --> 01:35:53,120
l was very-- l was nervous,
1522
01:35:53,280 --> 01:35:57,040
We had no idea at the time
that we could ever wind up,,,,
1523
01:35:57,200 --> 01:35:58,720
Oh, that's not true, l did,
1524
01:35:58,920 --> 01:36:00,440
-You did not,
-l did too,
1525
01:36:00,600 --> 01:36:03,160
-l have a theory about this,
-He has lots of theories,
1526
01:36:03,320 --> 01:36:05,720
l do, This is actually a good one,
l took some notes,
1527
01:36:05,920 --> 01:36:07,800
Oh, God, you're so prepared for this,
1528
01:36:08,000 --> 01:36:09,840
You grow up, you're an adult, right?
1529
01:36:10,000 --> 01:36:13,760
And you think you have all this worldly
experience, right? That's point A,
1530
01:36:13,920 --> 01:36:16,160
You think your personality is formed,
1531
01:36:16,400 --> 01:36:18,200
And then you think you're complete,,,
1532
01:36:18,360 --> 01:36:20,920
,,,but you meet somebody,
you start feeling new things,
1533
01:36:21,080 --> 01:36:23,480
And you start feeling
excruciatingly painful things,
1534
01:36:23,720 --> 01:36:27,360
You get confused, right?
You get nauseous,
1535
01:36:27,520 --> 01:36:31,760
And l think when you get really nauseous,
like that, it's, like, the completion of self,
1536
01:36:31,920 --> 01:36:34,640
The person who can fill the final void,
1537
01:36:34,840 --> 01:36:36,840
That's what it was like
when l met Sarah,
1538
01:36:37,000 --> 01:36:40,240
-l made you nauseous,
-ln a good way, l was lovesick,
1539
01:36:41,840 --> 01:36:43,760
That was good, honey,
1540
01:37:54,080 --> 01:37:56,080
[ Equipe LegendaZ ]
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119933
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