Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,984 --> 00:00:04,014
ADULT SHELDON: The Clean Air Act
required all new cars
2
00:00:04,102 --> 00:00:06,804
to be equipped with
catalytic converters
3
00:00:06,914 --> 00:00:08,585
to combat air pollution.
4
00:00:08,673 --> 00:00:11,111
The first state to do this
was California,
5
00:00:11,199 --> 00:00:13,549
which led Texans
to say things like...
6
00:00:13,637 --> 00:00:16,014
- I hate California.
- ADULT SHELDON: And...
7
00:00:16,102 --> 00:00:18,882
When will that place fall
in the ocean? [hacks]
8
00:00:18,970 --> 00:00:21,206
ADULT SHELDON: While not
everyone was happy about it,
9
00:00:21,294 --> 00:00:23,887
six years later,
one particular Texan
10
00:00:23,975 --> 00:00:25,977
saw an opportunity
to get rich quick.
11
00:00:26,064 --> 00:00:27,979
Oh, man,
I'm gonna get rich quick.
12
00:00:29,198 --> 00:00:30,900
I just got my ticket
out of here.
13
00:00:30,988 --> 00:00:32,040
Adios.
14
00:00:32,128 --> 00:00:33,985
I'm serious.
This thing is full of tips
15
00:00:34,072 --> 00:00:36,248
on how to make a fortune.
Only cost me a dollar.
16
00:00:36,335 --> 00:00:38,294
Is one of the tips
"make a crappy newsletter
17
00:00:38,381 --> 00:00:40,165
and charge idiots
a dollar for it"?
18
00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:43,368
No, but not a bad idea.
19
00:00:43,456 --> 00:00:46,824
Listen to this: "Raise bees
and sell the honey for profit."
20
00:00:46,911 --> 00:00:48,739
Do it, and I'm living
with Meemaw.
21
00:00:48,826 --> 00:00:51,133
"Sell blood
or non-vital organs."
22
00:00:51,220 --> 00:00:53,004
Mm, give 'em your brain.
You're not using it.
23
00:00:53,091 --> 00:00:55,267
[laughs]
24
00:00:55,354 --> 00:00:58,009
I think that's the only time
I've ever heard you laugh.
25
00:00:58,096 --> 00:01:00,229
That's the only time
you've ever been funny.
26
00:01:00,316 --> 00:01:04,711
Oh, platinum can be extracted
from ordinary roadside gravel.
27
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:05,886
No, it can't.
28
00:01:05,973 --> 00:01:07,018
Actually, it can.
29
00:01:07,105 --> 00:01:08,933
Catalytic converters
contain platinum.
30
00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:10,543
Microparticles of that platinum
31
00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:11,675
are expelled
in the exhaust
32
00:01:11,762 --> 00:01:13,416
and are mixed in
with the gravel.
33
00:01:13,503 --> 00:01:16,288
See? This thing's a gold mine.
34
00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:20,336
It would be more apt
to call it a platinum mine.
35
00:01:21,511 --> 00:01:23,426
I laughed at your joke.
36
00:01:23,513 --> 00:01:26,342
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
37
00:01:26,429 --> 00:01:29,127
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
38
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,087
♪ I bet I could be your hero
39
00:01:32,174 --> 00:01:34,089
♪ I am a mighty little man
40
00:01:34,176 --> 00:01:38,397
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
41
00:01:43,608 --> 00:01:47,085
UMPIRE: Strike!
Keep your eye on the ball.
42
00:01:49,113 --> 00:01:50,375
Strike two.
43
00:01:50,627 --> 00:01:52,716
You got this!
44
00:01:54,892 --> 00:01:56,154
Strike three.
45
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,113
- You're out.
- MEEMAW: Hey, ump,
46
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,288
you're blind.
47
00:01:59,488 --> 00:02:01,377
She swung and missed.Fine.
48
00:02:01,464 --> 00:02:03,640
Hey ump, you're bald.
49
00:02:03,727 --> 00:02:05,772
Better?
50
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,688
Come on.
You can do this, girl.
51
00:02:08,775 --> 00:02:10,995
♪ If I pitch, can you catch...
52
00:02:11,082 --> 00:02:13,128
Strike one.
53
00:02:13,215 --> 00:02:14,868
You can do it,
sweetheart.
54
00:02:14,955 --> 00:02:17,436
Strike two.
55
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,247
UMPIRE:
Strike three.
56
00:02:19,335 --> 00:02:21,136
I still think you can do it,
sweetheart.
57
00:02:21,223 --> 00:02:22,920
UMPIRE:
Strike one.
58
00:02:23,007 --> 00:02:25,140
Strike two.
59
00:02:26,454 --> 00:02:28,867
Strike three.
You're out.
60
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:30,965
Strike one.
61
00:02:31,146 --> 00:02:33,304
Strike two.
62
00:02:33,838 --> 00:02:35,185
Strike three.
You're out.
63
00:02:35,273 --> 00:02:37,064
♪ I'm a big-league pitcher
64
00:02:37,152 --> 00:02:39,589
♪ Get your bat ready, baby,
hit that ball... ♪
65
00:02:39,676 --> 00:02:42,244
It's okay, Cooper.
You'll get 'em next time.
66
00:02:46,813 --> 00:02:48,598
Want to go
to Dairy Queen?
67
00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:50,339
I don't deserve Dairy Queen.
68
00:02:50,426 --> 00:02:52,167
It's not your
fault, honey.
69
00:02:52,254 --> 00:02:55,083
That other pitcher
was almost a grown man.
70
00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:58,129
I think I saw him
at the bar last night.
71
00:02:58,216 --> 00:03:00,088
Y-You're just going
through a little slump.
72
00:03:00,175 --> 00:03:01,350
Happens to everyone.
73
00:03:01,437 --> 00:03:03,178
Well, how do I
get out of it?
74
00:03:03,265 --> 00:03:05,093
When I've been
at the craps table...
75
00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:06,572
George,
you give advice.
76
00:03:06,659 --> 00:03:10,359
Oh, smart. Man's been in
a slump his whole life.
77
00:03:10,446 --> 00:03:12,187
You just got to get out
of your head.
78
00:03:12,274 --> 00:03:13,960
You... you're thinking too much.
79
00:03:14,048 --> 00:03:16,930
I promise thinking too much
has never been my problem.
80
00:03:17,017 --> 00:03:19,019
When I'm feeling down,
do you know what I do?
81
00:03:19,106 --> 00:03:20,978
OTHERS:
Pray.
82
00:03:21,065 --> 00:03:22,197
It works.
83
00:03:22,284 --> 00:03:24,024
In fact, I'm gonna pray
for you tonight.
84
00:03:24,111 --> 00:03:26,288
Everybody prays to God
at night.
85
00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:28,899
Do it now while
he's got some free time.
86
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,599
Hey what you doing?
87
00:03:33,686 --> 00:03:36,385
Playing a historically accurate
game called The Oregon Trail.
88
00:03:36,472 --> 00:03:38,213
That sounds boring.
89
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,955
Hardly. My wagon broke an axle,
and my wife died of dysentery.
90
00:03:42,042 --> 00:03:44,219
Well, can you pause it
for a sec?
91
00:03:44,306 --> 00:03:46,699
It does seems rude
to push on to Oregon
92
00:03:46,786 --> 00:03:50,094
while my daughter Mabel is
mourning the loss of her mother.
93
00:03:50,181 --> 00:03:52,357
What can I do for you?
94
00:03:52,444 --> 00:03:55,055
Remember when we were talking
about platinum in gravel?
95
00:03:55,142 --> 00:03:56,492
Do you know how to get it out?
96
00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:58,085
It's not a complicated
principle.
97
00:03:58,173 --> 00:04:01,046
I could probably do it with my
Professor Proton chemistry set.
98
00:04:01,134 --> 00:04:04,354
Great. And an oven that reaches
2,000 degrees.
99
00:04:04,442 --> 00:04:05,878
Does our oven do that?
100
00:04:05,966 --> 00:04:07,894
No, but I read you can build one
101
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,890
out of a garbage can
and a leaf blower.
102
00:04:09,978 --> 00:04:11,463
Cool. Let's mine some platinum.
103
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:13,726
No, thank you.
I don't care about money.
104
00:04:13,813 --> 00:04:15,075
[video game music playing]
105
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:21,343
But you care
about science, right?
106
00:04:21,430 --> 00:04:23,040
[video game music stops]Of course.
107
00:04:23,127 --> 00:04:25,129
So I offer you the chance
to do an experiment
108
00:04:25,216 --> 00:04:27,871
and you'd rather play
a video game?
109
00:04:29,916 --> 00:04:32,092
What would
Professor Proton think?
110
00:04:36,053 --> 00:04:37,794
He'd be disappointed.
111
00:04:37,881 --> 00:04:39,622
So what do you say?
112
00:04:39,709 --> 00:04:41,667
I say we collect gravel.
113
00:04:41,754 --> 00:04:43,234
There you go.
114
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,672
ADULT SHELDON:
In case you're worried,
115
00:04:46,759 --> 00:04:48,848
Mabel and I did finally
make it to Oregon,
116
00:04:48,935 --> 00:04:52,243
where I remarried and lived
to the ripe old age of 41.
117
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:54,071
[video game music plays]
118
00:04:56,943 --> 00:04:59,772
DALE: All right, Cooper,
remember what I told you, okay?
119
00:04:59,859 --> 00:05:02,163
Knees bent, elbows out,
120
00:05:02,251 --> 00:05:03,385
eye on the ball.
121
00:05:03,472 --> 00:05:05,082
[sighs] Hang on.
122
00:05:06,195 --> 00:05:07,910
Hi, God. It's Missy Cooper.
123
00:05:07,998 --> 00:05:10,665
I know my mom talked to you
about me the other day,
124
00:05:10,753 --> 00:05:12,319
and she's, like,
your biggest fan.
125
00:05:13,177 --> 00:05:14,134
Hey, what's going on?
126
00:05:14,221 --> 00:05:15,919
What, did you
fall asleep?
127
00:05:16,006 --> 00:05:17,412
Sorry, I was praying.
128
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,589
Oh, my apologies.
129
00:05:22,485 --> 00:05:25,313
MISSY: Anyway, I could really
use your help getting a hit.
130
00:05:25,401 --> 00:05:26,881
Amen.
131
00:05:27,165 --> 00:05:29,139
Okay. Are we good?
132
00:05:29,227 --> 00:05:30,829
I don't know.
We'll find out.
133
00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:32,179
Okay, remember,
134
00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:33,458
elbows up,
135
00:05:33,545 --> 00:05:35,634
knees bent.
136
00:05:36,393 --> 00:05:38,439
I'm coming at you, Cooper.
137
00:05:43,163 --> 00:05:45,340
Way to go. Perfect.
138
00:05:45,427 --> 00:05:47,516
Thank you, God.
139
00:05:47,603 --> 00:05:49,305
How about, "Thank you, Coach"?
140
00:05:49,393 --> 00:05:51,308
- Thank you, Coach.
- Too late.
141
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:54,725
This should be a good spot.
142
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:57,221
It's a high-traffic area,
which means plenty of exhaust,
143
00:05:57,308 --> 00:05:59,470
and therefore
plenty of platinum.
144
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,405
Great. Let's get shoveling.
145
00:06:09,886 --> 00:06:11,720
You ain't gonna help?
146
00:06:11,808 --> 00:06:13,375
No.
147
00:06:14,804 --> 00:06:16,545
How was practice?
148
00:06:16,632 --> 00:06:18,851
Great. I hit the ball
further than anyone.
149
00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:22,368
Sounds like a little prayer
helped after all.
150
00:06:22,485 --> 00:06:25,031
I guess it did. You seem surprised.
151
00:06:25,446 --> 00:06:27,225
Well, God knows
everything,
152
00:06:27,313 --> 00:06:28,862
and I have some
pretty evil thoughts.
153
00:06:28,950 --> 00:06:30,081
Oh, Missy.
154
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:31,874
Ooh, what if I start
wearing a cross
155
00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:33,655
so God knows I mean business?
156
00:06:33,743 --> 00:06:36,040
You could also
clean up your thinking.
157
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,436
Nah.
158
00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:45,149
[truck horn honks]
159
00:06:45,462 --> 00:06:47,507
What's taking so long?
160
00:06:47,595 --> 00:06:49,649
It'd be faster if you helped.
161
00:06:49,845 --> 00:06:51,971
Well, we know
that's not happening.
162
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,093
MISSY: I know you got your hands
full with all that sad stuff,
163
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:59,225
like disease and war
and hunger and poverty,
164
00:06:59,313 --> 00:07:01,696
so thanks again for helping me
get some hits at practice.
165
00:07:01,784 --> 00:07:02,874
Amen.
166
00:07:02,962 --> 00:07:06,306
Don't forget to ask him to keep
our family safe and healthy.
167
00:07:06,421 --> 00:07:09,118
I just hung up.
Don't make me call him back.
168
00:07:13,398 --> 00:07:15,064
Should I be wearing
all that?
169
00:07:15,188 --> 00:07:17,016
I recommend it.
Those rocks are filthy.
170
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,165
I'm good.
171
00:07:18,253 --> 00:07:19,973
God made dirt.
Dirt don't hurt.
172
00:07:20,061 --> 00:07:21,239
Where do we start?
173
00:07:21,327 --> 00:07:23,608
The first step is to put
the gravel in these colanders,
174
00:07:23,696 --> 00:07:26,046
and then sift it over the tray
to collect the dust.
175
00:07:31,678 --> 00:07:33,350
It's like finding money
in the street.
176
00:07:33,444 --> 00:07:35,424
Why do you care so much
about money?
177
00:07:35,682 --> 00:07:38,452
You saw Back to the Futurewhen
their dad's rich at the end,
178
00:07:38,553 --> 00:07:40,905
his wife is all skinny
and loves him way more.
179
00:07:40,992 --> 00:07:44,217
So you want a wife who loves you
because you have money?
180
00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:46,015
A skinny wife.
181
00:07:46,998 --> 00:07:48,826
I have something for you.
182
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:51,663
You said you
wanted a cross,
183
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:55,137
and this is the one I used to
wear when I was your age.
184
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:56,529
It's so pretty.
185
00:07:56,616 --> 00:07:59,358
I'm glad you like it.
186
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:03,007
It's a nice reminder
that wherever you are,
187
00:08:03,263 --> 00:08:05,171
God is always with you.
188
00:08:06,647 --> 00:08:09,749
And it means a lot to me
that you want to wear it.
189
00:08:09,928 --> 00:08:13,628
Thanks, Mom.
I'm gonna pray right now.
190
00:08:13,895 --> 00:08:15,722
God, it's Missy again.
191
00:08:15,809 --> 00:08:18,162
If you can hear me better, it's
'cause I'm wearing a cross now.
192
00:08:18,249 --> 00:08:20,336
Please let me get
a lot of hits on Saturday.
193
00:08:20,423 --> 00:08:23,240
And if their star pitcher
breaks his arm or gets run over
194
00:08:23,328 --> 00:08:25,950
by a truck, I'd totally
be okay with that.
195
00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:27,952
Amen.
196
00:08:28,039 --> 00:08:30,172
Amen.
197
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,043
Now we have to sift
the powder again
198
00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:34,176
because the platinum particles
are extremely small,
199
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,352
sometimes no more than
just a few atoms.
200
00:08:36,439 --> 00:08:39,442
If I was as smart as you,
I'd play the stock market.
201
00:08:39,529 --> 00:08:41,009
Or go on Price Is Right.
202
00:08:41,096 --> 00:08:43,968
I'd rather spend my time
focusing on important things,
203
00:08:44,055 --> 00:08:46,905
like figuring out how
the universe works.
204
00:08:47,428 --> 00:08:50,932
So, say you figure out how
the universe works. Then what?
205
00:08:51,019 --> 00:08:53,325
I'm not sure,
but in the meantime,
206
00:08:53,412 --> 00:08:54,761
I agree with
Richard Feynman.
207
00:08:54,848 --> 00:08:58,026
I simply enjoy the pleasure
of finding things out.
208
00:08:58,113 --> 00:08:59,592
I agree with the Beastie Boys.
209
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,943
You got to fight
for your right to party.
210
00:09:02,030 --> 00:09:04,859
Well, it's good to have
a personal philosophy.
211
00:09:04,946 --> 00:09:07,818
GEORGE JR.:
What's next? We create a chemical flux
212
00:09:07,905 --> 00:09:09,602
by combining borax,
sodium carbonate,
213
00:09:09,689 --> 00:09:11,039
lead oxide and flour.
214
00:09:11,649 --> 00:09:13,040
Did you know
Sheldon and Georgie
215
00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:14,390
are working
on something together?
216
00:09:14,477 --> 00:09:16,812
That's nice. And guess what...
217
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:19,090
Missy asked me
if she could wear a cross.
218
00:09:19,177 --> 00:09:21,963
She's in her bedroom
saying prayers right now.
219
00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:24,400
Hmm. I don't like it.
220
00:09:24,487 --> 00:09:27,055
What are you talking about?
Our kids are behaving.
221
00:09:27,142 --> 00:09:29,622
Exactly.
Something bad's gonna happen.
222
00:09:29,709 --> 00:09:31,276
Why can't you just be thankful?
223
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,844
Because that's when life kicks
you right in the plums, Mary.
224
00:09:33,931 --> 00:09:36,281
Dad, where's your power drill?
225
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,936
Why? Our oven doesn't reach
2,000 degrees,
226
00:09:39,023 --> 00:09:40,720
so we're going to make
a homemade kiln
227
00:09:40,807 --> 00:09:42,113
out of a garbage can.
228
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,636
And there go the plums.
229
00:09:43,723 --> 00:09:46,161
Are you two trying
to burn down the house?
230
00:09:46,248 --> 00:09:48,380
No, we're trying to make
platinum out of gravel.
231
00:09:48,467 --> 00:09:50,643
You're not building
a 2,000-degree oven.
232
00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:53,777
Fine. Just so you know,
I was gonna cut you in.
233
00:09:55,205 --> 00:09:57,164
Really? You'll fight
for your right to party
234
00:09:57,259 --> 00:09:58,564
but not for your right
to make a device
235
00:09:58,651 --> 00:10:00,251
that'll exceed
the melting point of lead?
236
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,524
GEORGE JR.:
Shut up.
237
00:10:01,611 --> 00:10:03,613
Ooh, "Why can't you
be thankful?"
238
00:10:07,747 --> 00:10:09,053
What's your problem?
239
00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:11,099
Mom and Dad won't
let me build a kiln,
240
00:10:11,186 --> 00:10:14,058
so Georgie and I can't
finish our experiment.
241
00:10:14,145 --> 00:10:16,191
Before you tell me,
I don't care what a kiln is.
242
00:10:16,278 --> 00:10:18,671
Okay, but you'll never know
it's a high-temperature oven.
243
00:10:18,758 --> 00:10:21,457
If you're unhappy,
just ask God for help.
244
00:10:21,544 --> 00:10:22,762
I don't believe in God.
245
00:10:22,849 --> 00:10:24,721
[shushes]
He can hear you.
246
00:10:24,808 --> 00:10:27,028
He knows if you've
been bad or good.
247
00:10:27,115 --> 00:10:29,682
Like Santa,
but he can send you to hell.
248
00:10:29,769 --> 00:10:31,119
I'm not going to ask
some magical being
249
00:10:31,206 --> 00:10:32,555
to solve my problems.
250
00:10:32,642 --> 00:10:34,774
I asked him to help me
with my batting, and he did.
251
00:10:38,256 --> 00:10:41,259
There's a pottery kiln
in art class. We can use that.
252
00:10:41,346 --> 00:10:42,652
[door opens]
253
00:10:42,739 --> 00:10:45,089
Georgie,
I figured it out!
254
00:10:45,176 --> 00:10:49,311
Good job, but that does not
count as one of my wishes.
255
00:10:53,466 --> 00:10:54,945
Why are we being sneaky?
256
00:10:55,174 --> 00:10:56,535
I thought you said
we have permission.
257
00:10:56,622 --> 00:11:00,235
We do. I just don't want anybody
knowing about our platinum.
258
00:11:00,322 --> 00:11:02,846
Smart. Last week, I bragged
about having a Nutter Butter,
259
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:05,414
and some rat stole it
right out of my lunch bag.
260
00:11:05,501 --> 00:11:08,156
Well, it sure wasn't me.
261
00:11:08,243 --> 00:11:10,288
And then I hit it over
the right fielder's head.
262
00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:12,160
Sounds like you had
a good practice.
263
00:11:12,247 --> 00:11:14,118
I did. Coach said
he's gonna have me hit cleanup.
264
00:11:14,205 --> 00:11:15,337
BILLY:
Missy,
265
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:17,339
will you rub your cross
on my bat?
266
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:18,688
No.
267
00:11:18,776 --> 00:11:19,906
Have you been doing that?
268
00:11:19,993 --> 00:11:21,386
On mine. It's working great.
269
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:22,692
Please?
270
00:11:22,779 --> 00:11:24,476
I'll give you a dollar.
271
00:11:24,563 --> 00:11:26,391
Fine.
272
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,219
What do you think you're doing?
273
00:11:28,306 --> 00:11:30,091
Sharing God's love
and making some cash.
274
00:11:30,178 --> 00:11:31,570
Absolutely not.
275
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:33,094
How about I give you the dollar?
276
00:11:33,181 --> 00:11:36,026
God's love has nothing
to do with money.
277
00:11:36,114 --> 00:11:37,837
What about the collection plate
at church?
278
00:11:37,924 --> 00:11:39,839
That is different.
279
00:11:39,926 --> 00:11:41,232
That's where I found
this dollar.
280
00:11:41,319 --> 00:11:42,581
Okay. [sighs]
281
00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:44,502
Bye.
282
00:11:44,590 --> 00:11:46,194
So now we just wait
for the concrete dust
283
00:11:46,281 --> 00:11:48,239
to dissolve
and the lead to melt?
284
00:11:48,326 --> 00:11:49,893
That's exactly right.
285
00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:51,503
I know. I listen.
286
00:11:51,590 --> 00:11:53,244
And you understand it? I work in sales.
287
00:11:53,331 --> 00:11:55,246
I don't need to know
what I'm talking about
288
00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:56,726
to make it sound good.
289
00:11:56,813 --> 00:11:58,380
Don't you think it would
make you better at your job
290
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,425
if you understood the products
you were selling?
291
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,819
No. People don't
want to hear facts. I do.
292
00:12:02,906 --> 00:12:05,561
Normal people don't
want to hear facts.
293
00:12:05,648 --> 00:12:06,997
I'm normal.
294
00:12:07,084 --> 00:12:08,085
Are you?
295
00:12:08,172 --> 00:12:10,174
No, I'm special.
296
00:12:11,329 --> 00:12:13,776
Is it supposed to be doing that?
Something's wrong.
297
00:12:13,864 --> 00:12:15,440
Maybe we didn't sift out
all the rubber.
298
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,833
I think it's burning.Okay.
299
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,617
Okay, calm down.
I'll handle it.
300
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:22,230
I'm having difficulty
remaining calm.
301
00:12:24,232 --> 00:12:26,103
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
302
00:12:26,190 --> 00:12:28,801
[alarm ringing]
303
00:12:29,846 --> 00:12:31,674
I'm feeling more calm now.
304
00:12:33,917 --> 00:12:36,485
What were you thinking? Well...
305
00:12:36,627 --> 00:12:38,019
I don't want to
hear excuses.
306
00:12:38,167 --> 00:12:40,343
You could've burned
the school down.
307
00:12:40,431 --> 00:12:41,818
What do you have
to say for yourselves?
308
00:12:41,906 --> 00:12:44,604
I thought you didn't want
to hear my excuses.
309
00:12:44,691 --> 00:12:46,388
Oh, no, we didn't break
into the classroom.
310
00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:48,347
Georgie had permission
from the teacher.
311
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,088
That is not important right now.
312
00:12:50,176 --> 00:12:51,698
So you think a teacher
said it was okay
313
00:12:51,785 --> 00:12:53,569
for a ten-year-old and an idiot
314
00:12:53,656 --> 00:12:56,137
to use a 2,000-degree oven
unsupervised?
315
00:12:58,313 --> 00:13:00,011
You fibber.
316
00:13:00,098 --> 00:13:03,666
[gasps]
You also stole my Nutter Butter.
317
00:13:08,278 --> 00:13:10,106
Are you mad at me?
318
00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,822
No.
You sure?
319
00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:15,504
'Cause that's how you look when
Dad had that breakfast beer.
320
00:13:18,191 --> 00:13:22,541
To be honest, I'm a little
concerned that I have given you
321
00:13:22,629 --> 00:13:24,731
the wrong impression
about how prayer works.
322
00:13:24,818 --> 00:13:27,647
I get it. I ask God for stuff,
he gives it to me.
323
00:13:27,734 --> 00:13:28,853
It's not rocket science.
324
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:31,651
Missy, God does not
grant wishes.
325
00:13:31,959 --> 00:13:33,479
So he gave me good luck?
326
00:13:33,566 --> 00:13:35,786
[sighs]
It's not luck.
327
00:13:35,873 --> 00:13:39,790
Luck is chance,
and God has a plan.
328
00:13:39,877 --> 00:13:42,749
Right, and his plan is to give
me what I want when I pray.
329
00:13:42,836 --> 00:13:44,185
That's why he's so cool.
330
00:13:44,272 --> 00:13:47,188
No. I... I mean, he is cool,
331
00:13:47,275 --> 00:13:50,017
but sometimes
that might not be his plan.
332
00:13:50,104 --> 00:13:51,594
Then what's the point of praying
333
00:13:51,682 --> 00:13:53,133
if he's just gonna do
what he wants?
334
00:13:53,221 --> 00:13:55,544
You don't pray to God
to get things.
335
00:13:55,631 --> 00:13:58,547
You pray to build
a relationship with him.
336
00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:02,414
This is too complicated.
I'm just gonna keep
337
00:14:02,502 --> 00:14:04,336
rubbing this thing on my bat
and kicking butt.
338
00:14:04,423 --> 00:14:06,817
Okay, that is it. Take it off.
339
00:14:06,904 --> 00:14:09,167
No, I need it.
The game's Saturday.
340
00:14:09,254 --> 00:14:11,735
There are more important things
than baseball.
341
00:14:11,822 --> 00:14:13,345
Now, hand it over.
342
00:14:13,432 --> 00:14:15,216
God, cover your ears.
343
00:14:15,303 --> 00:14:16,783
Damn it.
344
00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:18,350
Missy Cooper!
345
00:14:18,437 --> 00:14:20,831
You are not ready for that.
You give that back.
346
00:14:20,918 --> 00:14:23,703
Oh, you... Get!
347
00:14:27,611 --> 00:14:30,928
MARY: Lord,
I really need you right now.
348
00:14:31,015 --> 00:14:34,932
I have tried so hard to lead
my family to your light,
349
00:14:35,019 --> 00:14:38,805
but so far, Sheldon doesn't believe in you,
350
00:14:38,892 --> 00:14:41,199
Missy thinks
you're a magic trick,
351
00:14:41,372 --> 00:14:42,930
and you're not a teenage girl,
352
00:14:43,018 --> 00:14:45,551
so Georgie doesn't think
about you at all.
353
00:14:45,638 --> 00:14:49,163
I never thought I'd take a
cross away from my own child,
354
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,470
but what choice did I have?
355
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,212
She was rubbing it
on sporting equipment.
356
00:14:54,299 --> 00:14:56,500
I didn't think there was
a wrong way to pray,
357
00:14:56,588 --> 00:14:59,260
but leave it
to that girl to find one.
358
00:14:59,347 --> 00:15:03,874
Please give me the strength to
keep guiding my family to you.
359
00:15:03,961 --> 00:15:07,225
I can't do it on my own. Amen.
360
00:15:09,822 --> 00:15:12,099
So, how was everybody's day?
361
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:14,598
[throat clearing]
362
00:15:15,589 --> 00:15:17,895
That good, huh?
363
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,187
How about we just say grace?
364
00:15:20,275 --> 00:15:22,457
You're gonna ask him to
bless the food? Interesting.
365
00:15:22,544 --> 00:15:23,894
That is enough.
366
00:15:23,981 --> 00:15:25,765
Oh, come on.
367
00:15:25,852 --> 00:15:27,332
How can I appreciate
all this tension
368
00:15:27,419 --> 00:15:29,029
if I don't know what it's about?
369
00:15:29,116 --> 00:15:31,902
Mom took my cross away, and
I have a game on Saturday.
370
00:15:31,989 --> 00:15:34,687
Why would you do that?
She's out of the slump.
371
00:15:34,774 --> 00:15:36,428
She was being sacrilegious.
372
00:15:36,515 --> 00:15:37,736
Mary, this is sports.
373
00:15:37,824 --> 00:15:39,648
When something's working,
you do not mess with it.
374
00:15:39,735 --> 00:15:43,201
I am not changing my mind.
God is not a good-luck charm.
375
00:15:43,289 --> 00:15:45,916
Well, how about all the players
that kiss their crosses
376
00:15:46,003 --> 00:15:47,656
before they go
in the batter's box?
377
00:15:47,743 --> 00:15:50,268
They can take it up
with their mommies.
378
00:15:50,355 --> 00:15:51,878
So she's finally hitting good,
379
00:15:51,965 --> 00:15:53,706
and you're gonna let her go
to that game all up in her head?
380
00:15:53,793 --> 00:15:55,708
Her relationship with God
is more important
381
00:15:55,795 --> 00:15:58,161
than getting some hits
in a baseball game.
382
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,748
This is perfect.
They're mad at each other.
383
00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:00,974
Takes the heat off us.
384
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:04,210
Thank you. I had no idea
what was going on.
385
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,804
Mary, give her the cross back.
386
00:16:05,892 --> 00:16:09,417
When she is ready
for it, I will.
387
00:16:09,504 --> 00:16:11,593
I have a bunch of crosses
in my jewelry box.
388
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,682
You can take any
one you want.
389
00:16:13,769 --> 00:16:17,034
I don't want another cross.
I want my lucky cross.
390
00:16:17,121 --> 00:16:19,645
And that is exactly why
she is not ready.
391
00:16:19,732 --> 00:16:21,690
Let's say grace.
392
00:16:21,777 --> 00:16:22,865
[Mary sighs]
393
00:16:24,258 --> 00:16:26,782
Bless us, Lord, for the food
we are about to receive,
394
00:16:26,869 --> 00:16:28,784
and bless the hands
that prepared it. Amen.
395
00:16:28,871 --> 00:16:30,961
ALL:
Amen.
396
00:16:34,747 --> 00:16:36,662
I'm glad we're no
longer in trouble
397
00:16:36,749 --> 00:16:38,620
for almost burning
the school down.
398
00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:39,752
MEEMAW:
Ooh.
399
00:16:39,839 --> 00:16:42,059
Let's talk about that.
400
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:49,318
- [knocking on door]
- SHELDON: Georgie.
401
00:16:49,406 --> 00:16:51,104
Yeah?
402
00:16:52,028 --> 00:16:54,380
Are you still interested
in getting rich quick?
403
00:16:55,329 --> 00:16:57,349
No, I want to do it slow
like a chump.
404
00:16:57,506 --> 00:16:59,161
Oh. Never mind.
405
00:16:59,249 --> 00:17:00,980
Tell me, Sheldon.
406
00:17:01,147 --> 00:17:03,387
It occurred to me that
a good way to generate
407
00:17:03,475 --> 00:17:04,861
a positive cash flow
would be to curate
408
00:17:04,948 --> 00:17:07,647
popular songs and make them
available in a digital form.
409
00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:10,041
Possibly on a small device
that could also be used
410
00:17:10,128 --> 00:17:11,651
as a phone or even a camera.
411
00:17:11,738 --> 00:17:14,610
Right. A phone, camera,
music machine.
412
00:17:15,009 --> 00:17:16,694
Get out of here.
413
00:17:20,007 --> 00:17:21,819
Psst. Hey, Missy.
414
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:23,169
Come here.
415
00:17:23,489 --> 00:17:25,069
What? I'm up next.
416
00:17:25,157 --> 00:17:27,964
I know. Here.
417
00:17:31,149 --> 00:17:32,759
Don't tell your mother.
418
00:17:34,326 --> 00:17:37,583
- I think I want to do this on my own.
- You sure?
419
00:17:37,671 --> 00:17:41,028
Just in case Mom's right,
I don't want to make God mad.
420
00:17:41,115 --> 00:17:42,982
UMPIRE:
Strike three. You're out.
421
00:17:43,070 --> 00:17:44,593
All right. Go get 'em.
422
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:52,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
423
00:17:53,381 --> 00:17:55,758
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
424
00:17:56,328 --> 00:17:58,091
- Strike one!
- Dad!
425
00:17:58,187 --> 00:17:59,645
GEORGE SR.:
Coming!
425
00:18:00,305 --> 00:18:06,303
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org
31624
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.