All language subtitles for Totò e Cleopatra (1963)

Following the assassination of Caesar,
who was suspected of planning

to declare himself
king and emperor,

The government of Rome, trying to save
the Republic, was taken over by a triumvirate.

It was made up of Octavian,
Lepidus and Mark Anthony.

The latter, a valiant general,
was given control of the Eastern lands,

The richest ones,
and the most difficult to govern.

Immediately,
he set off with his powerful army.

He subdued, and conscientiously stripped,
every country that he passed though.

And in order to save the Republic,
he seemed to be destined

to become king
and emperor himself.

Except that, in the lands
of the East, was Egypt.

And when the great general, a soldier in
one piece, was at the gates of Alexandria...

Hail.

Hail Enobarbus, so then. Where
is Cleopatra, isn't she with you?

Listen to me Anthony,
Cleopatra didn't want to come.

She didn't want to come,
and you tell me so just like that,

you should have dragged her
here by force, those are my orders.

Yes Anthony, but listen

I wont listen to anything..is that clear.
There is no pity for the enemies of Rome,

we came down here to bring order
and justice, and that Cleopatra dare.

But I beg you
to curb your anger.

I don't want to curb myself.

But listen to me I beg you.
It's not the way you think.

Cleopatra said that a meeting
with you in the field among

the hay for the horses and
the bivouac left-overs wouldn�t

be worthy of your lofty rank.
She wishes to receive you,

poor little thing, in her royal
palace, with all the honors

due to a man like you.

She has prepared
great festivities for you.

She has gone to the temple
for a propitiatory rite.

Oh...Anthony... Anthony...
if you had seen what she was...

what she was on those cushions...
beautiful in clouds of perfume

she was dressed like Venus...

Listen to him...just listen to him....
You're getting childish in your old age.

I understand, she�s bewitched you too,
see how stupid you are, she was

dressed like Venus, Venus didn't
go around dressed, she went

around in the nude!.....

That's right.

Let's go right away.

Hail.

The protector, the liberator of the East,
the triumvir of Rome, Mark Anthony.

Well, you said that they would receive
me with the honors due to my dignity,

that Cleopatra was waiting for me
with open arms, and instead

there�s no-one here...Huh?....

I don't understand....

You never understand anything.
Who does this Cleopatra think she is,

now I'm going to show her
who Mark Anthony is.... Praetorians!

Calm down Anthony...calm down...
in the East the queen is a Goddess,

you could start a riot...

Let them riot...Praetorians....
search the palace from top to bottom,

dig out Cleopatra, and drag her
to my feet dead or alive.

Divine Anthony

Most noble among men, I beg you,
calm your wrath,

the queen Cleopatra
is at your feet.

And are you supposed to be
the queen Cleopatra, stop kiddin boy,

it's true that Caesar had
some pretty strange tastes....

But I know this isn't the case....

I am Apollodorus, humble counselor
to her majesty the Queen.

Ah, so you're the humble counselor
to the Queen? Well then, go to her

and counsel her to come
here right away, or else...

What happened...
Did you put out the light?

Not me

Who did it?

But...What�s going on now...

It must be her, the Queen.

I see an ostrich...

Hey, they're not having
the carnival of Viareggio, no? huh?

Noble Anthony,
the lady of upper and lower Egypt,

the daughter of the sun
and of the moon salutes you,

why don't you come closer.

You are only Egypt,
Oh seductive daughter of the sun

and of the moon and I represent Rome
and therefor the world, I should

move towards you.
Know, oh Cleopatra that I have already

conceded a lot to you by bringing
the weight of my glory

and my power this far.

Pardon your humble slave, Anthony..
I was only thinking that Rome and

the world would also have been
more comfortable seated than standing up,

that glory and power shine
just as well on a sofa.

just as a jewel shines better in a
precious case than when left on the floor.

How well she speaks...

Cleopatra...listen, Rome standing
sitting or in any position it

feels like being in,
accuses you.

I, Mark Anthony, in name of great Rome,
have come to oppose you and I do oppose you.

Darn, how good this one is.
Now what will I oppose her...

Tell me, oh Cleopatra, I have been told
that you go around dressed like Venus,

But I think that you are even
over-dressed to be a Venus.

Is it
a question of censorship?

Ah, noble Anthony, if you only knew
how much Venus would have liked to

meet her Dionysus,
as you are called.

Who is this Dionysus,
by Bacchus.

But Anthony, I know that to other
people more fortunate than us, you,

Anthony, have appeared in the vestments
of the god of joy and of rapture,

dressed only
in a grape vine.

Well...anyhow
we'll go to Alexandria.

Well...to tell the truth, dressed
only in a grape vine I look

pretty good...it depends on one's build.
I'm a tree trunk.

And to me instead,
you have appeared as an enemy.

now, let's not exaggerate...thank you,
I really shouldn�t accept, but good manners

force me to accept...thank you anyhow...
anyhow...prosit....

Don't drink!....
Carmiana... You drink....

What is it? By Bacchus!..
what�s going on!

Understand?
She would have done me in.

On the contrary, to prove
to you that I am a friend.

Oh yes?

You can drink. I know, I know that
in Rome they say that I took advantage

of Caesar, how can they say such a thing,
I have always been wronged,

I have been denied whole provinces,
for example Cyprus.

Cyprus?

Yes, it's an island.

Excuse me, I'm a little dumb
in geography, where is this Cyprus?

Here.

Not really

In my heart

Really?

Listen, listen how it beats just
to hear the name Cyprus.

Ah! land of my ancestors,
only for dreams and for love!

And Rome took it
away from me.

What is it,
what were you saying, excuse me...

Phoenicia also.

- Phoenicia?
- Yes

Another island?

No, a luxuriously flowery region.

And where is it?

A little further
down from Cyprus.

- Really?
- Yes.

But look where
this one has provinces....

Going south towards Judea
and Judea also...ah...

how many lands,
how many lands.....

Phoenicia, some parts of Judea
already under the dominion or

the protection of Rome, given to Cleopatra,
the last descendent of the abominable

Ptolemaic dynasty. This, dear senators,
is the work of the triumvir Mark Anthony.

Maybe no-one knows that while
the people are suffering he is

growing soft
among comforts and riches.

And I guarantee that whoever has seen
him describes him

as completely unrecognizable!

I say
that we should nationalize!

Who do you want to nationalize?

Honorable colleagues, be calm,
let's talk about Anthony.

Yes, let's talk
about Anthony!

The triumvir Octavian speaks

Unfortunately, very recent news
direct from Alexandria confirm that

everything that is being said about
Anthony, is true, as a matter of fact

there's more and worse. Following
certain skirmishes on the boarders,

he decreed a triumph
for himself alone in Alexandria.

He has fought and he has won.
It's only right that he triumphs!

But the triumphs were always held
in the capital of the empire!

Since when
is the capital Alexandria!

The capital is Rome.

No, if Anthony wants to triumph,
I propose that the senate decrees

that the triumph be held in Rome.
That way, everything will be in good order.

We'll draw him to Rome with some honey.
Better, with a double dose of honey!

Because I have decided to give Anthony
my sister Octavia as a bride,

you'll have to admit that my sister Octavia
has every argument to make him forget Cleopatra..

I put my proposal to a vote.
And I beg you to decide quickly.

Night is falling and my legionnaires
who are waiting for me outside may be cold,

I wouldn't want to be forced to make
them come in here.

I�m very fussy
about their health.

Octavian's proposal
seems excellent to me.

Perfect, sublime!
Hurray for Octavian!

Those in favor raise their hands!
Octavian's proposal

has been unanimously approved.

I swear
I don't understand you.

It's well to establish the fact that
the heads of the triumvirs are not

to be touched. Remember that yours
is also a triumvir's head.

But Fulvia?....
Anthony�s wife...

It will be
easy to convince her!

That one...
with the character she's got!

My beloved has abandoned me....
I hope they kill him,

I hope he drowns in the Nile
when he's drunk...

and that a crocodile eats him up....
Here, pussy, here,

some of Anthony's flesh...

Mistress, mistress
the triumvirs Octavian

and Lepidus ask to be received.....

All right...let them come in...
let them come in...

let them come right in.

Hail Fulvia.

Hail.

Hail, nuts! I know everything!
Nice conversations in the senate...

Nice proposals...I would really
like to know what Scribonia

your wife thinks of all this

Scribonia is no longer my wife,
I repudiated her to marry Drusilla.

Then you're all the same, then
from now on instead of saying

filthy pig
it�s enough to say triumvir.

Fulvia please...try to understand
....politics...

Ah! You call it politics,
do you...Well, look, seeing

how things are
I consider myself a widow.

See that you look at things my way
after all...if you consider yourself

a widow, it means that you have under-
stood that by now for you Anthony is...

No, I consider myself a widow
because the minute I get my hands

on him I'll kill him.

And what will
you have gained by that?

Nothing, I�ll get
a little meal for my pussy-cat

And I'll join
in that meal gladly

Ah! No Publia,
you at least should have some sense!

I don't like Anthony!

But don't you think that it would
be better for your daughter to be

legally repudiated, for my sister Octavia,
with alimony than to be abandoned

for Cleopatra
without a red cent.

Don't you think of your country?
Your country it asking a sacrifice of you....

It will repay you!

It�s the country who pays.

People.."bye, bye"..to everyone...
I�m hailing you, no?

But why do you stamp your feet
on the ground so, you vulgarian,

you see that you hurt yourself,
you said ouch! you awful soldier you!

Abandon yourself to the sweetness
of this music, to the perfume of vice,

of lasciviousness, of orgies...
Cleo...bye bye...comment allez-vous?...

Uhh! What an intoxicating
smell of bacchanal!

A modest bacchanal Egyptian style
in your honor, my adored Anthony.

Always bacchanal Egyptian style,
they never have a little bit

of a bacchanal alla livornese...
this one�s good.....

Enjoy life because someday
soon you too will be like this.

Go drop dead! Listen Cleo,
listen when you invite people

to enjoy themselves, can�t you have
happier discussions...I mean...

Maybe you would like the head of
an enemy of yours? Octavian's for example?

Don't say such foolish things..
I�m not afraid of Octavian!

As far as I'm concerned Octavian is still
a baby, a chick in waddling clothes,

a beardless little triumvir..Is that clear?
What do I care about what he says or

what he thinks!
Come to your Mark Anthony!

Ouch! Darn it! And who could it be..
him! Caesarion, son of Caesar, Come here!

Forgive him, Anthony, he's a little boy,
a little imp, a little lively...

Ah. Yes, he's a lively little imp?
So he hit me in the back with this cup?

But Cleo,
if he wasn't your son....

How delicate you are, so what is it...
How come, a warrior like you, a little thing

like this. You're certainly
not going to say that I hurt you?

It's not a question of being hurt,
it's a question of respect!

My position!

It was exactly
the right position!

Listen to how impertinent this boy is, how
dare he hit the noble backside of a triumvir.

Is that noble too?

That's understood, extremely noble...
when they make a person a triumvir,

he's a triumvir all over,
from his head to his feet,

Top, bottom, back and front,
is that clear?

You were made noble, I'm the son a a queen,
therefore I'm noble from birth,

and I can do anything I like
to a triumvir like you,

I can even
ride you horseback....

Cleopatra, listen to your son?
He wants to ride Mark Anthony

horseback...
Have we gone crazy?

Listen, you had better stop it or
I'll send you to Octavian in Rome

and he'll eat you up alive...and if
you don't stop acting like

a delinquent I�ll
give you a spanking.

Mama, Mama he hit me!

- Who hit you?
-You! -I

You're a liar!

He's a brute,
he's a brute!

Calm down, calm down.

I'm afraid, I'm going
to sleep near you tonight

There, you see? Promise that
tonight I'll sleep in your room

But Caesarion, at your age!
To still sleep with your Mama,

You�re not
a baby any more!

Your mother's right!
You're not a baby any more.

And he's not
a baby either!

What are you
saying Caesarion?

All right I wont say any more,
but now you'll make me a general.

Ah! We're back to this story again.
I've told you no a thousand times!

And it's no!

Well, you said no because I was a baby,
but now you said that I'm not a baby any more.

Anto' you'd better make up your mind, huh!
If I'm a baby I'll throw things at you

and sleep with Mama, if instead I'm not
a baby any more, you decide....Good-night!

Listen Cleo, we've got to get the bugs
out of your little imp�s head, because

I'm not making him a general...
I won�t...I won�t

Well then,
what'll we do?

What'll we do?
Meanwhile stand at attention.

Ah kid, I'm as much of
a general as you are.

I could have you made corporal
any time I like! Understand?

At your command

Let's attack!

Let's attack what?

The enemy! Right?

But what enemy?, we're not at war,
we're at peace, thank Jove

There, you see that you're not a general.
Go look for any enemy and have him lose!

Hey, wait!
There he is!

But those are Romans!

So what, don't tell me this would be
the first time that Romans fought Romans!

Legionnaires, I'm offering one hundred
sestertii, if you bring me those there!

Hey! I offer one hundred sesterti per head!
Give it to him...go on...crush them...

attack them...
murder them. .....

Oh, I�m a senator, I�m an amasador
from Rome...Be good!

Calm down!
You�ve gone crazy.

What pain,
how it hurts!

It hurts a lot?

A lot

Ah, poor Naso, poor Naso, what can you
do about it? You have to be patient, you have

to pity him and forgive him, he�s a little imp
who's a bit lively, an exuberant little boy,

but on the other hand we mustn't forget that
he's Caesar's son, and therefor leadership

and war are in this boy�s blood,
they're in his blood.

And you, my noble Mark Anthony,
you even justify that son of a.....

Ahhh! you awful tongued Roman!
Son of Caesar, you have to say.

Maybe. Certainly listening to you and seeing
you decked out like that, one would think

that your slanderers
in Rome are right.

Ah, they're slandering me? and what
are they saying,

let me hear
what they are saying

They say...they say that the third
support of the world has become

the laughing stock
of a gypsy woman.

Those Romans
have to stop that!

Ah, believe me Anthony, it wasn't easy for me
to plead your cause in the senate against

everyone, you had everyone
against you, Octavian for the first.

And that's why I haven't decided yet
to go back to Rome. I wouldn't want

them to receive me in the senate
the way they received poor Caesar...

remember? What
a lot of flapping around!

Don't worry, you'll be received
in triumph, and then what better

guarantee than the fact that Octavian
is offering his sister to you as a bride.

And there's the catch!

You wouldn't want
to give up your triumph in Rome!

No, no I like the idea of the triumph,
I'll go, triumph and come back,

it won�t take me long, I�ll rush over
and come back more powerful than before

and I think that Cleo
will also agree with me on this.

Cleo? Who's Cleo?

What do you mean,
who's Cleo? Cleopatra.

And you call her Cleo?

It's a pet name, what can you do,
we�re in a refined court,

we�re not in the suburbs.

I've noticed that. Well, Anthony,
whether Cleo likes it or not,

you absolutely must come to Rome,
and marry Octavia, otherwise what

must I do? Go back all alone and say
that you don�t give a damn about

the senate or Octavian or his sister.

Noble patricians, I have an idea,
we'll only tell Cleopatra

that bit
about the triumph, huh?

But that's not possible, the marriage
with Octavia has a political value,

the whole world
most know about it.

Just a minute, listen Anthony, come here,
I'm with you as far as the triumph

is concerned, but not the marriage.
Also because I think that Anthony

shouldn't leave Cleopatra�s beauty
for just anyone like Octavia,

and then I think that you don't
like her... Isn't it true that

you don't
like Octavia, Anthony?

No, no on the contrary, I like Octavia.
As a matter of fact, let me tell you

that I was spooning
over her for a year.

What did you
do for a year?

I was spooning

Ah, you were
spooning for a year!

Octavia is young...fresh,
Nobarbus, I'll eat Octavia up!

- I didn't understand, what?
- I'll eat Octavia up!

- You�ll do what? - Are you deaf
or what? I'll eat Octavia up!

Ah, you'll eat her up!

- Now who�s going to tell her?
- Ah, not me!

And you�re so afraid of a woman!
I�ll talk to the queen.

Am I or am I not
the ambassador from Rome!

Bravo Naso, that's right!
There is no penalty for the bearer

of bad news...I'll go with you...
Let's go!

Wait 'till you see what a greeting
you'll get from Cleopatra, Naso!...

She is a very refined lady, gentle,
tactful full of grace!

After all,
she's a queen

- Cleo?
- What is it?

A friend ambassador
has to talk to you.

But let him come in, I am glad and
happy to receive him...

You hear? She'll be
happy to meet you. Go...

Are you coming too?
- I�ll come later, go...go then..

The amphora - the mirror -
- the brush - the big vase

- the little vase - the Etruscan vase
- the Pompeian vase - the water vase

- the day vase
- the chamber pot is missing....

There it is!

Bravo Naso! Now that Cleopatra has
used up all the lances, I�ll go in.

Were shall I put it?

In the dust bin....
My treasure...

And now go to Rome...like this!

Darn it, I forgot the fish bowl....
I'mmm...I�m drowning...a fish in my mouth...

You understand that Egyptian cow.
She lets him come here, she acts so properly,

thinking that the more important Anthony
becomes the more there will be for her to snatch.

But I'm going to play a nice trick on her
and him and that other dirty pig, Octavian....

Fulvia! We gave Octavian our word, I wouldn't
want to break it, I hope, think also

of your own best interests.

We wont lose a sestertius. Everything
will be proper. You remember Totonno?

That half-brother of Anthony's
who is living in exile in Capua?

Who, that bum?

We have to go right away and find him
and bring him here.

It won't be hard to convince him.

You know that he
is forbidden to enter Rome.

Because of that face,
right?

But don't you understand that
that's exactly what we need.

Hear me, hear me, hear me...come on,
come on, this way sirs...we have

girl slaves, little girl slaves and
big girl slaves, samples, highest quality

merchandise, wholesale or retail...
Ah...oh...could you make the jaguar?

I wish I could.

Hey you, listen here

Look....at this

But...you hear
the noise it makes?

Of course, it hasn't moved for a month,
give it a little grease job

and you'll see
that it goes very well.

I hope so, I'll try.

Boy, he expects an awful lot!

- Manager, manager.
- What is it?

You remember, a few days ago
I bought this one here, Flavia.

So, You're not going to tell me that you
haven't been satisfied with Flavia, I hope?

Not satisfied? Very unsatisfied,
as soon as I touch her,

she goes around in circles
and hits me on the head.

How�s that, let me see

Look.....

I felt it.

No, it's I who felt it. You have to
take this one back, I don't want it

any more. You understand,
I don't want it any more?

Young man, take it easy, don't get fresh,
understand, once the merchandise leaves

the store we don't
accept any complaints.

There he is, thief,
scoundrel, swindler.

Hey, hey, young man, so what
is it? These, what are they?

Why, aren't you a thief, a swindler,
a robber, wasn't it you who sold me

these very strong gladiators?

And so, aren't they
very strong gladiators?

But I wanted Thracians.

That's right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I made a mistake, instead of giving you

Thracian slaves
I gave you five Phrygians,

however you were born
with a silver spoon in your mouth,

you're lucky.
- How come?

Phrygians are going like hotcakes,
in Rome they fight over them.

But I don't give a darn about that,
you tricked me and so if you have

anything to say in your defense
you�ll explain it in court. Let�s go.

Let go of me, let go of me,
you don�t know who I am,

I've got relatives
in high places, you know.

Instead, we know very well who you are,
this isn't your first swindle,

we've had an eye
on you for a long time.

If you�ve had an eye on me, that
means you haven't been seeing straight,

I can't leave the store,
I�ve got the slaves in there....

Yes, take him away, he swindled me too,
go on, and if I you want a witness

in court, I�ll come.
Thief, swindler.

Let go, let go of that man, I am
the wife of the triumvir Mark Anthony,

I hope you recognize me.
I come on my husband's behalf.

Fulvia, my beautiful sister-in-law,
you're as welcome as cheese on macaroni.

I told you I had
relatives in high places.

So then, pay.

Here, I hope it's enough.

Beggar.

I have to inform you that this little
guy has other troubles in these parts.

All right, hail.

I'll take
the responsibility for him.

And I'll take
the responsibility for her.

My beautiful awful
sister-in-law how can I repay you,

do you want a slave at half price? Do you
want a nice gladiator who does everything,

he�s a slave, better
a big slave very suitable for your mother.

- Oh what are you saying, Totonno ?
- For your sister? - No!

We want you.

We want you to come
to Rome with us right away.

Oh no? to Rome? to Rome?
ah, ah, do you think I'm crazy.

Watch out, I can give you back to
the guards and I can tell them

about a few
other talents of yours.

Hail Octavian.

Hail. Where's Anthony? Don't tell me
that he's changed his mind that....

Rome says to Naso, bring Mark Anthony,
and Naso brings Mark Anthony,

and I won't
mention the pain.

Mark Anthony's? - No, mine.
- But where?

It's gone, I was
all black and blue.

But no Mark Anthony.

Ah, his wife's got him, she was
waiting for him at the gate

in front of her villa in Tuscolo.

She blocked the way.

Ah, is it possible...
that Fulvia�s playing a double game.

But, my treasure, you don't have to
make excuses, I understand only

too well what the political
demands of your new position are.

Wise Fulvia, wise, I'm happy to see
that you are beginning to understand

what it means to be a triumvir.

Ah, of course I do, you are
a perfect trio, I said so to Octavian too.

Really?

And instead, what can I say, I have
remained the simple woman I used to be.

That's bad, that�s bad, wife of mine,
one has to keep up with the times,

I say keep up with the times,
time flies.

And I instead, have remained still;
and then, how would I look beside you,

so refined, at times
even a little too much.

Listen, I've thought it over, I don't
feel like being a substitute for

Mark Anthony, and then I see that every
once in a while he has those motions.

Listen, you have any choice, remember that
you�re in Rome in spite of the ban,

therefore it's either death
or the place of the divine Mark Anthony.

Ah no, tonight you dine with me,
I�ve made you some lamb alla gladiator.

Oh, how vulgar...
how disgusting lamb is.

Don't you like it any more?
It used to be your favorite dish.

Now Fulvia will give him
a sleeping potion and as soon

as he's asleep you go...
you present yourself to Octavian.

And I say to him, Good day,
Octavian, I'm Mark Anthony ha....ha.

There's some caviar,
some champagne?

No, But have a good glass of wine
from the castles, it will give you a lift.

You think so?

Of course.

You find me a little down.

Ah...to your triumphs,
to your loves.

- Cin, cin.....
- Cin, cin.....

Dear colleague, hail.

Look who�s here.

Darn him, now
he�s going to ruin everything.

What is he,
a policeman?

Dearest Otto, how are you?

Otto?

Otto? That's the diminutive of Octavian,
I could also call you little Octavian,

but it's not appropriate.

Octavian?

Are you crazy?

I am very pleased, you know,
I see you�re in good shape.

Ah thank you,
but you are also.

Ah yes, in all modesty I get by, I've
gotten by up to now, and I'll get by yet...

But come and drink something with us.

Thank you.

Oh how clumsy!

It's good luck,
it's good luck.

I'm sorry.

- Cin, cin.
- Cin, cin.

We have to make
Mark Anthony disappear.

Shall we kill him?

- Well.... - Let's kill him.
- Well... I'd kill him.

Hide.

Anthony, the two of us together will
make Rome bigger than Caesar ever made it.

Let's go.

But what is this, are you going just
like that without even eating a bite.

What bite is
more satisfying than a triumph

Fulvia my country calls me.
a last goodbye without any rancor.

Wait, wait, wait just a second,
it may be the last time I see you.

I can't.

all right, all right,
without any rancor.

Goodbye, let's go.

But are you going just like that
without even saying goodbye to mama.

Oh yes, that's right,
how stupid of me,

excuse me Octavian I'll go,
say goodbye and be right back.

Of course.

Mummy...mummy...little mom.. mummy
where are you hiding, where are you?

Oh mother!
What a blow. Ah...ah.

Well then, Anthony.

Where is he.

What do you mean where is he?

Anthony.

What, what is it?

What happened to you.

To me, nothing's
happened to me.

How was mother, dear?

Fine, fine, powerful,
poo... longo...

What do you mean longo?

- It's longo. Lo...longo.
- No. I mean longo.

- It is.
- What does longo mean?

Who is Longo?

No you said long.

Ah longo, lo...Longo,
he's a friend of mine.

His name is Longo.

Shall we go then.

Where are we going?

To the triumph.

- Are we going to walk there?
- We have a chariot.

- We have a chariot. Then long
live the chariot. Ah... - Lets go.

Goodbye Anthony.

I'll be seeing you.

Honored gentlemen, colleagues,
valiant Mark Anthony has returned to us.

Hail Mark Anthony.

Good day to everyone.

Hail Anthony,
the people of Rome cry hosanna.

- Really?
- Yes.

In Rome they know?

Hosanna, hosanna,
and they acclaim you.

In you we salute a hero, in the hope
that you will be able to enslave

many countries, enslave their people
and even enslave their rulers.

If it�s for enslaving you're inviting me
to a wedding, that is my profession.

But tell me, is it true
that they know in Rome.

- They know.
- They know all?

- In Rome.
- And?

In Rome they
always know all.

- They know all?
- All.

The minute you do something, the word gets
around, as a matter of fact

I knew a girl that...well,
I'll tell you about it later.....

Mark Anthony will you
bring us Cleopatra as a slave?

And who is he?
What does he want

No, no, he doesn't want anything
it�s Rome who wants it.

It�s Rome who wants
the Ptolemaic queen as slave.

- Ptolemaic?
- Yes.

- Pia de' Tolomei?
- Not Pia. Thing...That one....

- The Two Sergeants?
- No, not The Two Sergeants, no.

- The Blind Girl of Sorrento?
- Not the Blind Girl of Sorrento.

- I've got it, the woman who delivers
the bread. - No, the Ptolemaic queen.

Ah no, I've not read that one. I read
a lot of Salgari, I enjoy him a lot.

Anthony, let's not exaggerate,
are you trying to make us believe

that now you don't
remember Cleopatra any more, huh?

Ah but are you
talking about Cleopatra?

That�s right, what's the matter,
don't you remember her?

Ah, yes
it's a friendship of mine

And you tell it to our faces
that she's a friend of yours.

Well, not really a friend, but well,
she's a "girl friend".

I met her in Rome,
in the night Club, Roma Night.

What are you talking about?

Octavian, don�t pay any attention to him,
everyone talks like that in Egypt.

But she has
to be his enemy.

Gentlemen, no more arguments,
let's drop these discussions.

Cleopatra must
be forgotten on this day of joy.

Now this really
is man talk.

Let's forget about Cleopatra
and think about Joy.

Who�s Joy?

Who's Joy?

I don't know,
who is Joy?

You said
"on this day of Joy" ....

I said on this day of joy....

- Who?
- Joy.

- But you're really stubborn!
- Octavian, your sister

Here is Octavia!

She's better than Joy.

- You still find her beautiful
- Ah, I should think so....

- Go, meet your bride....
- Shall I go? - Go!

- I'll go like a flash!
- Of course!

- Watch out because I'm violent.....
- Don't be afraid.

- I�ll be violent with her.
- Go.

- I�ll tell you about it after, huh?
- Go!

My valiant
and sweet bridegroom.

Good day. My respects!
I pay my respects!

Boy this is
some dish of a wife!

I am glad and happy to give
my hand to noble Mark Anthony.

Mark Anthony and Mark Anthony
of Egypt nothing!

There's
no Mark Anthony here!

What do you mean Anthony?

What do you mean Anthony?
There�s no Mark Anthony?

He isn't here?
Mark Anthony isn't here?

And and and and...who am I?
Aren't I Mark Anthony maybe.

And what a hunk
of Mark Anthony I am.

I am glad that you are
no longer the Mark Anthony of Egypt.

See?
I was right.

The change in you warms our hearts.
These are the words

we wanted to hear from you.
But can we be sure?

What do you mean? He offends me,
why maybe I'm a liar? How dare he.

But I, but I would like
to give him a beating, I'm nervous

Ah, is that the way Anthony
speaks to the Triumvir Lepidus?

- What? Is he a triumvir too?
- Well...yes.

- Let me see your papers.
- What papers?

Show me
your identity card.

But, what? The identity and ddindinde...
watch out, you haven�t

joined up against me, have you?
Bride-to-be Octavia?

- What?
- Bride-to-be Octavia.

And you don't say anything?

Of course not, it's not an insult...
don't get excited!

He calls her bride-to-be....
and you don't react...

- It's nothing!
- Anthony, Anthony calm down!

You're right,
I've got my armor on....

Calm down!

If I didn�t have my armor on I'd make
a slaughterhouse here, a slaughter house.

Calm down,
calm down, please.

If I didn't tremble, but I tremble...
bride-to-be, but are you a bride-to-be....

Oh no!

- And what does bride-to-be mean?
- I don't know!

As soon as I find out, and someone
tells me what bride-to-be means

I'll make
a slaughter house.

- Stay with Octavia.
- Bride-to-be.

Don't compromise yourself,
I'm with you. Now that we have

Anthony in our hands it'll be easy
for us to get rid of him and

then we two will
be the rulers of the world.

Yes.

Dear Anthony, I understand that
you were joking, Here�s my hand...

Your permission Octavia?

- Of course.
- Excuse me, huh?

What is it?

Don't trust Octavian,
ally yourself with me.

If we join forces it'll be easy
to get rid of him....and then

we two will be
the rulers of the world.

Really? Is that
the custom among triumvirs?

You know very well that there is no
room for three in the government of Rome.

There's no room for three..
So then let's do this,

two will sit and one
will remain standing

Oh no...to win
two aces are enough...

- First...
- The ace of clubs.

- Then the ace of hearts.
- No two aces of strength.

Understood?

- Then you and I are aces?
- I understand.

All right, I'm coming right away.
Excuse me Octavia, huh?

I'll be right back,
Listen to me: I don't like that one.

But don't worry about him, anyhow
we�re going to get rid of him.

- Really? - Ally yourself
with me and we two together....

- Will be the rulers of the world.
- That�s right!

The people of Rome!
The Italian newspaper, the Messaggero!

The people of Rome
cry hosanna!

And if the newspaper men know it,
brother we're stuck.

We�ll all
wind up on the blotter.

Anthony, the people
want you on the balcony.

Now let's not start that balcony
business, balconies are bad luck.

No dear..go triumph...and then
come back to me,

I'll wait for you in my villa!

I'll go, triumph and come right back.
What'll it take me?

A jiffy. That's right,
let's go towards the people!

But is it really necessary to go
towards the people?

Why don't we skip the second part
of the celebration?

I've got to go and
celebrate with your sister.

But the people
are acclaiming you!

But are you really interested in the people.
Do you really care about the people?

- No, I don�t care, but it�s politics.
- Oh yes, that's right, politics as usual.

That's right.

People....people...
I'm coming right away!

To you, oh Mark Anthony,
the well deserved laurel leaf.

People of Rome!....

Octavian.

- What do you want?
- Half a pint! - Right away!

Hurry up, ah...ah...

How can you dream of holding
a triumvir prisoner and not

being punished for it?
Rome is waiting for me.

Octavian must be looking for me.
Poor guy! He prepared

the triumph for me,
he prepared it.

And also his little sister Octavia, right?
Big flies like you are attracted with honey,

that's what Octavian said to the senate
when everyone was shouting:

Death to Anthony! The dagger of poison!
And he said, let�s attract him

to Rome with some honey.

- Really?
- And then...

So that's what he said.
The damned pig...

Oh, I should throw him right
into Cleopatra�s arms...you go....

But if he is so much in love with you
it means that he has forgotten Cleopatra.

And to be able to return to your arms
he will subjugate Egypt

as quick as a flash. That's
my plan working out marvelously!

Plans, always plans,
my brother-in law.

With one plan on top of the other
you�ll wind up on the Attic.

I'm glad to find you in good health,
but it's true that you're

no longer
the softie Anthony of Egypt.

But who is this Anthony of Egypt?

- It's you, isn't it?
- It's me? -Isn't it?

- No, you said it isn't.
- No, I'm saying you're another person.

Ah yes,
I am another person.

Ah, truly unrecognizable!
Full of vigor, of life and

from what I see also
blessed with a wonderful appetite.

They say that you get an appetite
by eating, but it's not true,

you get an appetite by not eating.
Where is the egg, how many times

do I have to tell you that
I want a little egg for breakfast.

But, but of course Anthony,
right away.

These women, something awful.
I'm used to sucking an egg for breakfast.

- Really? - Here it is, ah...ah...
It's fresh isn't it?

Today's.

- What are you doing?
- I'm thinking....

- What are you thinking about?
- I�m thinking about the chicken, poor thing.

But what does a chicken have to do
with it, if it's an ostrich's egg.

And the ostrich too...

Let me get out of here.

In the plaza, alone with the people
and you'll realize it, you will!

Go ahead. The door is open...

My little pussy cat
is there standing guard....

That one...

Oh, all right, go out, go ahead out,
but remember that outside of here

you might meet up with an ambush
in the shadows, a dagger in your back,

You would be one triumvir too much.

By all the gods on Olympius!
S.P.Q.R.! and you, Fulvia

are able to take part
in such a betrayal,

Anthony, as a triumvir you had
already destroyed Cleopatra:

I only wanted
to try to save my Anthony.

Oh no, I don't want to go to Egypt,
I'm staying here,

I'll be here for Easter
and the summer holidays.

But you must go! You�re the only
one who can subjugate Cleopatra.

- Where shall I put her?
- Under.

- And will she stay there?
- Oh, Anthony....

Anthony,
don�t act na�ve...

But, excuse me, if you care
so much about this Cleopatra,

go and subjugate
her yourself, OK?

Ah, that's
what I told him too!

Octavia, let us talk, these are
serious matters, affairs of state.

Oh all right, oh all right,
I�ll leave you, if you need me,

I�m in there, I�m going to lie down
awhile on the bed because I'm so tired...

- Damn it!....
- Where are you going?

But didn't you hear
what your sister said?

That she's tired and
she�s going to lie, own on the bed?!

But what's that
got to do with you?

- Ah, she's my better half....
- But she�s tired.

And what if my half is tired too?
What do you know about it?

Anthony, listen to me, it's for
your own good. You know that

the senate has condemned you
to death as a traitor to your country,

well then, I was the only one who
saved you, and I couldn't do it again...

What is this.....

Your head,
Anthony, your own head.

- My head? Will they cut it off?
- Yes.

All right! You will stay here, then.
And die here!

I also know how to be bad,
you know. Very bad!

She put the beast to guard.
As if I were afraid of that little beast.

Imagine! I have the courage
of a lion, I! Hey, no jokes, huh?

Let's not joke! Beast! Well then?
You know who I am? I am Mark Anthony!

I am a hero, a brave, a warrior!
Oh, but we should give

a meatball to this!
What a bad temper you have!

Don't worry about it. You go to Egypt
and make all the Egyptians slaves of Rome.

- Egyptians? Slaves?
- Slaves.

- Shall I bring them to you?
- Of course.

How much will
you pay me apiece?

Ah what a strange bargain....
we'll get together on it.

You know I don't want any nonsense...
I'll bring you the slaves,

you give me the sestertii,
and I'll retire to private life.

Very well.

I'll have to leave you, because

I'm going to let the other
half rest with your sister.

Go on, my dear,
Go right ahead, go....

An urgent message
to the Queen from Rome.

But is it possible
that I always choose the wrong Roman?

And yet there is a Roman
with whom you can never go wrong!

You?

Yes, Faithful to Caesar because
I am faithful to you, faithful to

Anthony because I am faithful to you...
Now his legions are mine,

his strength is mine! Do you
want me to lead them against Rome?

Would you do that for me?

Anything, for your love,
for one of your kisses!

My little Enobarbus!

Queen...my Queen....

Great news! Anthony
is about to land in Alexandria!

- Really?
- Yes, my Queen.

I thank you, oh Isis!

This is my greatest victory!
And you, what are you doing here?

Run quick,we have to prepare
a reception for him - a triumphant one!

Good day to everyone.

Oh, by Bacchus!
I know them...

they are the four moors that were
in the Piazza Grande in Leghorn....

What did you say?

Nothing, nothing it's something personal.
Wow, if I had had them in Capua....

Hail.

Anthony, hail.

- Hi there.
- Anthony, hail.

Hail you, what's your name...
wait, I can't remember.

I'm your lieutenant.

That's it, you're my....

Lieutenant.

Lieutenant,
you're my lieutenant.

Yes.

And I had a lieutenant like you?
Just look at him. Can't you see

what a shrimp you are? Your legs
are crooked, you know you're disgusting?

You can't say
that to your lieutenant.

Why not,
who's going to stop me?

They are listening to you.

Why, don't you think they know it?
Well, then, I'll tell them, he...

Anthony
what are you saying?

I�m saying that you�re disgusting.
By the way, tell me where miss Cleopatra is?

The Queen is on the throne!

What, she dares to sit on the throne
without my permission? And then,

when she sees me she has to jump to her feet!
Because I'm a triumvir, understand?

A triumvir. Jump, jump.
I am insulted, I�m leaving.

But Anthony,
you can't go away just like that!

Why not?

We prepared
a little party for you!

Go ahead and prepare the little party.
The orgies have to stop, vice has to stop!

Now I'm here and I'm your punishment!
Who is this little boy dressed like a warrior?

It's Cesarino,
Caesar's son. Caesarion.

Caesariono, cesarono,
or Caesariono. Who is he?

Caesarion.

Let me see him.
Let me look at you. Death.

Why?

He�s ugly.

And I suppose you're beautiful!
Ouch, Mama!

You scoundrel you!
Is that the right way to answer?

Mama�s pet.

We prepared
the usual apartment for you.

I don't like the usual one.
Who's she?

A slave.

She�s half a slave.

A little slave.

She's a tiny slave. However,
I�ll choose the apartment myself.

N'est-ce pas?
Let�s go.

Scoundrels, swindlers!

They salute you.

Why, do they know me?

Are you kidding?!

They called me a salami. Comfortable,
comfortable... Little slave...

Out, everyone out....

Woe, if anyone will tell
just one word of what happened!

Calm down, Mama!

And you too.

But everyone has it
in for me today...

I can't understand you, insulting me
like that in front of the whole court!

The air in Rome plays
strange tricks, my Queen,

Octavian's air
also plays strange tricks.

Octavian's, did you say?
Or Octavia�s?

No woman
could compare to you.

But you know it. Anthony is a big flirt,
that awful Ronan has certain ways....

Carmiana!

Yes my Queen.

Bring all my cosmetics, all my perfumes,
the liquors, the essences...

let's go together to the temple of
the Cat Goddess and make a sacrifice

on the altar of love....maybe only she,
the great Mammona can still help me!

Fulvia! Fulvia! Fulvia!

A terrible thing has happened!
The leopard ate Anthony!

Fulvia where are you....

Cat Goddess. Mammona Goddess,
you caused the miracle,

Now everything's
in my own little paw.

Treasure,
my beloved treasure!

Darling....

Yes, it is I
who is caressing you....

Is it?

Your little cat...

Who am I?

Octavia...Octavia...Octavia....

Coward! Traitor!

Octavia...don't go away!
Where are you, Otta.. Otta.. what did you do,

get calluses?? Octavia,
your hand is like a slipper...ah...

put your arms around me....

Get out of here!

Who is it? Alarms, who goes there...
Ah is it you? Why did you interrupt my dream?

Get out of here,
I said!

Just a minute, young lady, if anyone
has to get out of here it's you.

Understand? And I would like to know
who gave you the permission

to come
into my apartment.

This is my room and you know it;
You should know it! The bed is mine.

This bed. This sort of superantique?
Anyhow, anyhow, I've requisitioned it

because I am the conqueror...imagine,
I went all over the palace

to find a soft bed.

Of course it's the softest, and also
the warmest;

but there's no room in
it for any Octavia, even in a dream!

Ah...ah...that's what you say!
If you hadn't interrupted us,

Octavia and I were getting along
very well in a dream...

Who knows where
we would have ended up?

Tony mine, Tony dear...
But what is the reason for

all this playacting?
Your presence here contradicts

all of your words...
Tony...Tony...

And don't call me Tony any more,
it bothers me to be called Tony....

Understand? Give up? Oh....!
What did I do, after all?

I took the wrong bed. Why, in your
whole life, didn't you ever take

the wrong bed? You understand me, right?
After all, if you like this bed so much

because it's roomy and therefore
suitable for you to rest your nose on....

Ah! What did you say?
Fresh! Ill bred!

Ha...your nose is popular, it's known
in Rome and everyone talks about it,

your nose is better known
than the pyramids!

Ah, what are you saying?

Big nose!

Wretch....wretch....

What's going on,
my queen?

No man has ever treated me like this!
Maybe I'm no longer beautiful?....

You're more beautiful than ever.
It's Anthony who...I don't know,

I can't understand it,
he isn�t himself any more...

He must pay!
He has insulted me, he must pay!

All we need is a "yes" a little �yes"
from your divine lips...

and the insults
will be washed away in blood.

All right, yes...
I say it.

If he no longer wishes to be mine,
no-one will have him!

- Who are you?
- How dare you.

Do you
understand anything?

Mirror, look at my nose and tell me
that it isn't true... ah, why don't

you answer me, mirror? Speak...mirror...
tell me that the Romans are wrong...

but answer me mirror.....!

Cuckoo...guess who I am?

Ah! Help...!
An attempt! Help!

But Cleo, by the gods, don't you

recognize me? It's me, your treasure,
who�s come back! Look at me.

Ah! Are you here again? You shouldn't
have bothered to come back, how dare you?

But Cleo,
I don't understand you.

It's I who don't understand you,
First you go away the way you did,

now you come back with that beard!
You're erratic and a clown.

Cleopatra...Cleopatra...if this beard
could only speak...If you only knew...

A queen doesn't
listen to a beard!

But it isn't the beard
that has to speak, it's me dear....

You've already
spoken too much!

But I haven't said a word!

You didn't say a word, huh?
You didn�t say anything?

And where
will you put my nose?

I don't know, wherever you like you tell
me where I should put it and I'll put it.

No...no...
I�m talking about my nose.

Ah! your nose, but you know that
I adore it, it gives you personality!

Yes, you love it,
so then I�m no longer a big nose!

Don't say such foolish things, of course
it's not a big nose, anything but,

if there�s a big nose around here,
it's me, look

You insulted me.

I say...I didn't think
I was insulting you...I was joking.

Ah! You call it joking?

Ah...how come you've become so sensitive...
Cleopatra, by Jove Plubius....

by all the gods, tell me the truth,
maybe you don't love me any more?

You're asking me that?
After the way you acted?

Oh come on, don't be angry at me,
try to understand, I had to act that way...

In spite of myself...Rome...the intrigue...
Octavian...the darks plots in the palaces...

The love you
say you bring me

must be very small; and your fear
of Octavian very great.

Ah...ah...my fear of Octavian...
but I don't fear him, Octavian,

because I want
to set off the bomb.

What do you mean?

What do I mean. Octavian is peaceful,
he already thinks he's the emperor,

how eluded he is.

And so?

And so, look well at me, Mark Anthony
and Cleopatra married, and we�ll make

an empire on our own.
That's the bomb.

Oh Tony! Is that
the way you feel?

Of course!

When will
all these nice things happen?

Tomorrow.

Then you repudiate your wife?

There's no need to repudiate her,
a leopard friend of hers

has eaten and digested her.

Ah...Then I've really found my
Mark Anthony again,

handsome and strong
as he was before.

Listen Cleopatra
will you give me a kiss?

Of course!

And then this is just barely,
just barely a preview! I'll go,

hurry to clean up and be right back.
Ah...ah...I'll show you...

who Mark Anthony is
ha..ha.. Wowie!

The man is still mine! Did you hear that,
mirror? And mine is his strength,

and mine is his empire! Oh.... finally
my dream is coming true.

And Apollodorus? Will they kill him? ...
Oh Isis... Oh Ammone! Carmiana!

Where are you?
Where did you go Carmiana? Carmiana....

Here I am, my Queen,
what do you want?

Listen Carmiana, there isn't a minute
to lose, run to Apollodorus, stop him,

stop the murderous hand.
Anthony loves me.

Oh how nice! How glad I am!
- Run, stupid!

I'm going!

Oh excuse me.

Ah, you've come back,
my treasure!

Treasure, nuts!

What are you looking for?

Who took them? What do you mean what
are you looking for? I'm looking

for the pouch with the money...
I forgot it here on the bed before....

Antonio, what happens?

What happens? It happens
that they swiped two sesterces.

They were 10, now they're 8!
You stole them!

- Are you crazy?
- I'm crazy? Yeah?

And you know what you are?
A cheat, and a thief!

Can't leave a thing
and they swipe it!

It isn't possible...Carmiela.
Carmiela!

Everything's alright,
my queen, rest assured.

Counter order:
kill him! Let him be killed!

Hi, little Enobarbus of mine, hi,
here I am back to the sweet land

of the Nile. I'm glad to see you
looking well, you know, I'm glad.

Listen I have many things to tell you but,
after all, it's night and the night

was made for love,
and Cleopatra is waiting for me.

Understand me? You understand me?
but what are you, a sphinx?

No!

What are you doing then?
I'm only disgusting!

And did you just realize that
now, you've just realized it.

But Anthony!

But don't get sore, I'm joking.
Listen, would you do me a favor

I'm going to wash up, and would
you please prepare the green toga

for me, n'est-ce pas?
...Bye, bye...

Fickle heart of a woman,
she has already forgiven him.

What are you looking for?

None of your business!
Get the red toga ready for me.

But...why, doesn't
the green one look better on you?

I said I want the red toga!
Understand?

And why are you
bringing me the red toga?

You told me to!

I said the green toga. You're upset
and careless, you are getting old,

you're more upset
than a part time maid.

I'm not your maid. I'm a soldier,
I'm a Roman patrician. I come here

to your rooms to speak to you about
business of state...

and you're thinking about togas.

I'll take care of it, I'll put it on
in the bathroom where there's

a long mirror. And then you'll
drape it for me but be careful!

I hate him! I hate him! If it wasn't
for Cleopatra, I�d hand in my resignation.

- Barbetta!
- Enobarbus.

Enobarbus, Barbetta they're hair
either way, but listen, I... ah...

But why are you
looking at me like that?

you are putting
the red toga on.

What do you care about
what togas I wear?

Yes I care, because I would like to
know something...green, red, red, green!

Are you cracking up? Boy, just look at
the kind of lieutenant I had

to wind up with. Well....
I'm going out to have some fun...

I�m going to have a good time
in the "Roman Night" of Alexandria!

At the Night Club!

Aren't you going
to Cleopatra?

To Cleopatra of Egypt! I'm going
to see the strip tease.

I was forgetting the best thing:
The gravy. The gravy goes to war!

But then it's true, he doesn't love her
any more, he's leaving her...

Be brave, Enobarbus, although your legs
may tremble. You go to Cleopatra.

She'll need
a few kind words...

But you...you...

Well?

You have you come back?

I�ve come back. I have washed,
and I have come back. Can you smell

the fragrance of my skin? Smell!
Ah....That�s right you don�t

understand anything. Oh listen,
don't wake me tomorrow morning.

And when would you
like to be woken up?

What day is today?

Monday.

Wake me,
wake me Saturday night.

Why?

Because I want this night of mine
with Cleopatra to be eternal.

But Anthony.

Well, so long!

Just a minute, just a minute,
stay calm, stay calm Enobarbus,

stay calm and level headed...

He said Cle...Cleopatra ...the red toga...
huh...it's enough to drive one crazy....

Anthony is coming here...

Hurry...hurry ...hide under the bed...
as soon as I manage to make him

turn his back...
hit without mercy... swiftly!

Bonjour, mon amor, sava bien?

- Here...
- What is it...

Two sestertii, I found them
on the floor, under your....

I must have dropped them before,
however they're not important.

And now, am I still
a thief according to you?

Of course you are a thief... a big thief..
a thief of love ...you stole my heart...

But what do you
want from me?

What do I went from you,
Cleopatra?! It's obvious isn't it?

My treasure. And do you think
you still deserve something?

Of course! Soon we will
be husband and wife...and so

a preview is fitting,
isn't it?

You would go against Rome
to make me the Queen of the world?

How many times do I have
to tell you so...I would give you

the sun, the moon...
if they were mine!

But how can I still believe you?
You've been so changeable since you got back.

Me?

At certain times

you are so strange ...believe me Anthony,
I don�t recognize you any more.

Cleo...Cleo...Cleo...don't talk nonsense,
I am always the same Mark Anthony for you!

Rome should sink into the Tiber,
the arch of the empire should crumble.....

No!

- Why no?
- Yes.

- The arch should crumble...
- No!

Yes...no...let's get together on this....
- No.

Oh! Don't be afraid, my little one....
I meant it should crumble if I lie.

Rome is always there waiting for us,
now instead, my treasure,

you know what is urgent? Love!

Under the bed!

Under the be...under the bed...
a ....ah I understand,

it's a new refinement....

You think them all up!
These Egyptians!

Oh no...I was joking...
can't I joke any more?

Yes...and now don't
we want to act seriously?

Of course, dear...but first
I want a proof of your love.

Tell me dear,
at your command.

I want the Provinces of Media.

They are yours.

- And then Thrace.
- Given

Licia...Bilicia...
and Cappadocia.

And now you know
what I'm going to do?

What?

I'm going
to put out the light.

Taken!

- Good day.
- Hail.

Hey, you!

Stop.

Stop. Don't move...
But, by Jove, who are you?

Oh, excuse me Otello....
I thought you were me...

that is that I was you....yes,
I was looking for myself, that's it.....

General Anthony,
are you crazy?

Maybe...I don't know....Hail
....What�s happening to me.

Halt there! Don't move!
What are you doing?

Can�t you see, I'm going out.
- Through the window?

Why, according to you,
where should I be leaving from?

Tell me this, what toga did you
wear last night,

the red one
or the green one?

The red one....

Ah! And who
wore the green one?

How do I know,
what am I the guard of the togas?

I understand....
you think I'm a dope.

- Yes sir....
- Yes...so I�m a dope then?

- Aren't you a dope?
- Me.

- Yes...
- No.

- You said I'm a dope.
- I?

- Then you've changed your mind....
- About what?

- That you're a dope.
- I�m not a dope.

- That's what I say.
- If anyone's a dope, you know who it is?

- Yes. - You.
- Me. - Let's drop it.

That's enough.

Oh listen,
don't make me lose time.

I�ve got an appointment in Rome,
you�ll make me lose the boat.

There's no boat
leaving for Rome.

What do I care,
I'll leave by myself on foot; alone

Ah, alone

Why, are you
going to forbid me?

And you abandon
Cleopatra like that?

That Cleopatra.
Nobarbus you bore me to death too.

Take that mask off.

What mask?

Yours.

Have I got a mask on?

Your make-believe mask.

And when did I put it on?

Don't joke, confess?
You're not Mark Anthony.....

Ah? Ah? And you realized it
now, you see?

And then you say
you're not a dope

Well then, who are you,
what did you come here for.

I'm his poor twin brother.

And what did you come here for?

To tell the truth, I didn't come,
they sent me.

They told me, go there
and subjugate Cleopatra. Understand?

Ah, and who sent you?

That one there...Well!...
it would take too long to explain

it to you, understand. But now
that the other one's here,

he'll take care of it.

- No!
- Yes.

- No! You have to take care of it.
- Me?

Yes.
From this moment on...

Ah...Ah...look,
here are the sestertii.

- They're not important.
- Leave the pouch.

From this moment on, you'll
do everything I say, is that clear?

Otherwise, I�ll bring you before
Mark Anthony and I'll unmask you

in front of him and Cleopatra,
and beware because

Cleopatra
doesn't fool around!

- Is this blackmail then?
- Yes.

Are you a blackmailer too?

But wouldn't it be better if
I stop bothering you and just leave?

No, you must be a bother.

- Really then, this is being ill bred.
- Yes.

- You're a blackmailer and ill bred.
- Yes.

- And you stink!
- And I stink too!

Stinker!

Quiet! You have to continue
acting the way you have until now,

all right? That way you�ll make
Mark Anthony detestable

to Cleopatra
and you�ll ruin him.

Mark Anthony is a good person,
and too we're related.

That's enough! You're in my hands
and you have no choice, either you

obey me or you
get the stake.

I don't understand.

Either you obey me
or you get the stake.

- The stake?
- Yes.

What is the stake?

Do you know
what hanging-posts are?

- I've made my choice.
- What?

I'll obey, you're not going
to make a jerk out of me!

The generals are reporting.

Good, good,
is anyone on leave?

At ease.
And what's this one doing here?

- Who?
- I told you to kill him.

But I'm a general,
you made me one yourself.

Really? Then the way I made you
I unmake you, all right?

I demote you
to sub-sentry.

Watch what you're doing
because I'm going to tell Mama.

Ah, yes, your mother doesn't
bother me, she doesn't bother me

in the least. As a matter of fact,
you can tell her to watch her step

or I�ll demote her too,
to sub-Egyptian. Let me see your hand.

It�s clean! Ouch! Darn you!
I�ll pay you back for that!

Mama, I�ll show you,
I will...Ah, cuckold!

You scoundrel....Let me go!
I'll break his head, you know?

Ugly son of a Cleopatra.

Listen to me, watch to see
when the Queen arrives,

Anthony gets here
a short while later!

A short while later?

When the Queen arrives, Anthony
gets here a short while later.

But this later...later...I don't
understand you...what is this mouse..

Mouse nothing....After the Queen
....Anthony arrives....

and you have to beat it quickly.

I�ll beat it right away.
And veterinarians...of all the wars....

Veterans....

- Why, what did I say?
- Veterinarians...

Ah, I was speaking in the third person..
As I was saying, vetarinarians of

all the wars, I�m surprised
that you allow yourselves

to be led by an idiot like that.

But no, we never
question your orders.

And instead
you should question them!

Did I hurt you? You've
got a foot that�s two yards long.

Tony....

Tony, excuse me
if I'm disturbing you.

Yes, you're disturbing me,
you�re really disturbing me.

Ah, what is it?

You're always joking....

Oh, no I mean it.
What is it?

Can you lend me
two legions?

Are you crazy? Do you think
I lend two legions just like that

as though they were two umbrellas?
And then, what do you need them for?

I have to send them to take possession
of the provinces you gave me:

Tracia, Licia,
Bilicia and Cappadacia....

And not Cacaracia? You�re crazy,
I don�t give provinces away to just anyone..

You're breaking your word?

I'm breaking my word, I'm a breaker
that's all, why now I should start

giving away
the parts of the Roman empire

as though they were gnats....
ah ...ah...Barbalongus...

Enobarbus!

Prepare a steamed gyros,
uh.. a stamped papyrus.

For how much?

Two hundred liras...

Do you want two sestersii?

If I swerve it's my business....
I go straight...I never swerve

...understand? And forbid the queen
here present from putting her hands

on the Illium or prose provinces,
otherwise I�ll cut those ugly hands off!

- Hurry up... - Huh?
- Hurry up, get out, get out, beat it...

Why?

You have to get out of here.

Yes...I'll be right back to sign, right?
General...come here...Follow me...

One...two...
one...two...

- But Tony!
- Step... step.

What get's into him?
Do you understand anything about this?

I told you the air of Rome
plays dirty tricks.

Unfortunately I have
to forbid you, orders are orders.

Damn him, last night I gave in
to his flattery. And yet...

and yet he was so cute,
tender and sweet....

The passionate Anthony of the good
old days - Rome was far away...

There was
only me, his Cleo...

his crocodile, as he used to call me,
as though he wanted to be devoured by me.

Cuckcoo...Guess who I am?

- A scoundrel!
- Ah! Cleo!

How dare you
put your hands on me.

But really it was you who
put your hands on me. I was joking!

Is it a joke to give me the provinces
the night before only

to take them from me
in the morning!

Me?

Yes. You also
ordered Enobarbus to forbid me!

Enobarbus? Tell her that
it's not true!

in all honesty,
I have to say that it's true....

There, see, it's true!

But if I just
came in now!

Yes, but on your return!
In all honesty I have to say

that you took the provinces
away from her, you went out,

and now you've returned.

That's right!

You even left
your helmet there....

See?

It's true! Oh my God,
I don't understand anything any more..

Mama. Ah, you're here.
Mama, don't look that one there

in the face any more.
He degraded me!

He did that too?

It's not true...
that brat is a liar!

Yes, yes
and he even hit me!

Me? Enobarbus,
say he's a liar ...

In all honesty I must say that
you hit him and you degraded him,

what's more you even threatened
to degrade the queen to sub-Egyptian.

Ah!...So!...

Tell the truth...
in all honesty ..you caught him?

How did it go?

Very well! Mark Anthony
got himself a big slap...Baaam!

Tell me about it,
were you there?

Of course I was!

Really, huh? And was this mark
caused by a whiff of air?

Why, can you see it?

Hey! Come here and
look at yourself in the mirror...

But the mirror is broken...
Mark Anthony...Hide...

Dear Enobarbus!...It's going badly!
I am being reproached for things

I didn�t do, things I didn't say...
A little while ago I saw a person

who was me instead, when took a good look,
it was someone else.

Believe me,
I can't take any more

I've got a band
around my head which is tormenting me!

It must be the crown....

- You think so?
- Yes.

You�re right...Here...excuse me,
I want to look in the mirror.

What an ugly face!

And yours is handsome!

- What did you say?
- That yours is handsome...

Thank you! ...
I'm anemic you know?

- I'm not. - Huh?
- I'm not.

Ah...no.

Darn it! Enobarbus!

- What is it?
- The mirror spit in my eye.

What mirror?

What do you mean,
what mirror? This one.

But there isn't any mirror.

What do you mean
there isn't any mirror?

And what is this?
Did you hear the noise?

What noise, what are you saying ..
there�s nothing there...

Look! Ah. I broke it!

Oh God I'm going crazy.

- But Anthony!
- I'm going crazy.

But you worry me, you�re pale!

- I�m pale!
- Your face looks terrible!

- How is it?
- A horrible face!

- My face is a horrible face?
- Oh yes, you are sick!

- Anthony, you are sick!
- I'm sick?

You're sick, don't worry
about it, stay calm, come with me.

Come here...
Listen to me, lie down on the bed

Easy, easy, easy,
don't move,

I'll go and call the royal
brain surgeon right away.

Wait here for me.

Yes...and yet I was there!

I'll do a thorough check-up.

However it would be better
to bring him down to my office ..

This business worries me.

We must do something,
for the good of the Queen.

We'll see.

You understand, it could be
a danger for her, for Egypt.

We should lock him up.

All right, all right,
if things have come

to that point we'll lock
him up, and...but here he is.

Noble Anthony.

What is it?

Noble Anthony,
how is it that you are here?

Didn't you tell me
that he was in bed?

No, I'm not...

What do you mean,
weren't you in bed?

But I ran away from the mirror,
don't you remember?

But why, are you not?
He doesn't remember.

It's not important. Be calm! calm.

Be calm, Anthony.

I beg your pardon, eh?

But who is this one?

Nothing, keep quiet!
Always answer yes.

- Why?
- He's crazy.

Ah! ehi, I say....

Go along with him,
keep calm, always answer yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

What?

I was in bed.

There, see, he remembers!

Keep calm, calm.

I'm calm.

So now
let's go into the office.

Where are we going?

In the office.

I don' want
to go in the office.

You must go in the office.

- But why, who says so?
- It's better for your health, Anthony

I'll come too.

But tell me,
isn't this dangerous?

No! Don't worry.

What does
he want from me?

I don't know,
I don't know, go.

Listen,
while I am in the office,

if I shout, run in,
because I am afraid! I alone....

Alone, alone, Anthony, be calm!
Keep calm, you'll come alone!

Keep calm.

Enobarbus will
wait for us here, right?

All right!

Anthony, you'll see...

- I am calm, what about you?
- Very calm! We're all calm.

Boys, remember to keep calm.

Go on....

I say, it's not
going to be too dangerous?

Oh noooo...

- Listen, if I call you, you stay here.
- Keep calm!

- Be calm, Anthony.
- Keep calm.

- Calm...
- Calm, calm. calm eh?

- I won't budge...
- Let's not make jokes!

Now what's going to happen?
But perhaps it's better this way...

This is a head
of a possessed one.

As soon as he makes
a move I'll break his head.

- Sit down. - Please.
Sit down! - Please.

- But sit down I tell you! I'll sit down too!
- Ah! I'll break your head you know?

Stop!

Put down the stool! Watch out,
I'll call Enobarbus..I'll call Enobarbus.

Be calm Anthony, keep quiet,
put down the stool, please!

I'm calm.

- Yes, put it down.
- You put it down first.

You first.
All right, together there...

One, two, three.

I've put it down!

Did you see? Sit down, sit.

Sit down, sit down...

So, Enobarbus told me
that you had to give me...

Yes he told me...

No, Enobarbus told me that...

Yes, I understand.

- He told you?
- Yes, he told me...

If you do not stop
we'll end up in the square!

There is no need, Anthony, ceep calm!
Keep quiet! See, now we are alone!

Here you can talk to me openly,
with full confidence.

All right.

I will listen to you with great affection,
great sympathy, however you must

tell me everything!
everything, everything.

They told me he was crazy,
but not anything else.

How is your stomach?
Your appetite?

Very good.

And the legs?
Are they not a little heavy?

No, no.

The head instead is, yes?

Yes.

That's heavy, yes?

Really no, since I've had
this head I got along very well!

Look it's light!

- Ah yes?
- And yours?

Mine is a little heavy...this one..

when I had the other one instead,
it was lighter.

You had a head for a change .....

A head for a change...Keep quiet,
keep quiet...let me see your tongue...

- No!
- Come on.

- No!
- Let me see your tongue!

I'm ashamed!

Come on...I told you to trust me....
But...Cute....this little game is very cute!

- Let me see yours.
- If you want to.

Ah, ah, and now pull it down....

Stupid!
you had a spring in the back!

Of course.

Did your mother
make you without a spring.

Anthony....please...

I can't stand it any more!

Nor do I, to tell the truth;
please, do not get excited.

Did you hurt yourself?

- No, no.
- How come?

- Nothing.... - Let me see
your head. Does it hurt?

No, it doesn't hurt.

No, no it's all right!
But look at your hair!

My hair?
- It's enormous! Very long!

Is it all mine?

Ah yes... but is it elastic?

Look at the way it stretches...
look how it stretches...

What a cute game you are playing

What a coincidence...
did you know it?

Ah, yes, yes.

Keep quiet, eh? Quiet!
See, we are playing.

We are playing.

Now it's my turn.
I�ll finish.

I can�t go on any more.

Enough with the hair, here, I�ll
reattach you to your head, all right?

Yes, yes Anthony, no fooling...
Let�s talk about serious things.

Tell me...What you did yesterday
it was really an awful thing!

What did I do?

Eh, you did a real bad thing!

No...I....

Yesterday morning
I did a bad thing?

Yes.

I wasn't aware of it!

And who told you?
The generals!

And where were the generals?

All around you!

- No!
- Yes!

The generals were all around
and I was in the middle

and did a bad thing?

Those generals
are real gossips, you know!

Really. Do not get upset,
I did bad things in front

of generals too, yes...and now....

Let's not joke!
Help.. Enobarbus, Enobarbus?

Help, put down the hammer.

Enobarbus! Enobarbus!
Catch him! Catch him!

Keep quiet!
you'll rouse the palace.

- He's crazy, he's crazy!
- I told you he was crazy!

- He wanted to stab me...
- Keep calm, keep calm.

Closing him up is not enough.
We must operate on him at once!

Operate. How?

Yes, his skull must be opened,
the brains have to be in full view

to see if inside them there
is something, sometimes little bugs

get in there and stay there
and he must have them,

for sure he has them...

Then it's
a difficult operation..

Well, modestly, I have performed
hundreds of such operations,

all went well.

- They all recovered...
- No, they all died.

Ah, post-operative
consequences.

No, during the operation!
It's a normal thing, no?

Ah, interesting!

Honorable colleagues,
please speak up one at the time.

We can't understand anything.

It�s Anthony's followers that
are making all the noise

to cover the voice of truth!

Anthony has betrayed us!

It's not true, It appears to me that
never like now has Anthony fought

for the sacred cause of Rome,
even against Cleopatra!

Any doubt can be cleared up by
going there to see personally

and I'll go there as
I want to with many legions!

Senators this is a solemn moment
Rome declares war to Egypt!

Thus we will see
what side is Anthony on.

Totonno! Totonno, don't play,
don't you understand that now

we must run away?
Marc Anthony may be here any moment.

Marc Anthony? Wasn't he
being operated on the brains?

Nothing doing, things went wrong.
At the last moment Cleopatra budged in...

Ahhh. this Cleopatra
spoils everything for us.

But she needs him, needs his legions
once that war has been declared.

War has been declared?

- Yes.
- Against who?

Octavian is about to land.

Octavian is a friend of mine,
we are brothers-in-law,

I'll take care of things,
don't worry.

Yes, but if he attacks:
War!

If he attacks the war?

No. Octavian
attacks Anthony.

And to who
do I attach myself?

To...
you attach yourself to me.

To whom
do you attach yourself?

I attach myself to you.

And to whom does
Cleopatra attach herself?

Absolutely not,
say it, say it...

Quick, you must hide yourself!
Quick! Where?

- Where?
- Over there....

Catch me!

Ah, here you are Enobarbus, good,
do we have a map of the delta here?

Of course,
my Queen, it's here,

I had already prepared it,
here is the map.

Let me see.
You call this a map?

What is it then?

It's small,
it's a minimap.

Well, Anthony, it's understood
that Octavian will land here

with ten legions,
isn't that so?

Twelve, my Queen,
besides the cavalry

and many of the latest
war machines, secret weapons.

Here you will attack him.

At the landing point?

Yes, we'll throw
him back into the sea.

Easy said,
how can you do it?

I can hardly put together
three and a half legions.

Your legions are four!

There were four, Enobarbus,

but the Egyptian women
have destroyed them.

Is it Anthony who speaks like that?
Where is your courage?

To defend your women you and
your men must spring up like lions!

What lions! There are only four cats
of us left and faced by

the overwhelming forces of Octavian,
do you know what the cats do?

They run away.

And you'll run away, very good.
A nice attack so that Octaviano

will believe you ready to fight
to the last man, then the flight.

My plan is perfect.

But excuse me, let's not
confuse things, my Cleopatra.

It seems to me that
this is Octavian�s plan.

No, because once Octavian has
pursued and surrounded you,

he will think himself the victor,
but at the same instant,

from every hill, from every hole,
my men will jump out and by

the thousand, they will
surround the surrounderers.

To look at her you wouldn�t
guess it! Good for you Cleopatra

To give you every guarantee
I will place my army

under the command
of your lieutenant.

Him? Very good! Then let's get
ready to the fight.

like a wild beast! Come,
Cleopatra, my companion,

give a kiss to a soldier.
And I�ll swear to you that

wherever Marc Anthony will
pass there will be death,

extermination, scourge.

The earth will open under men's feet
and they'll fall in...

those who want to fight, follow me.

Hail!

What do you mean with your Hail?
Are you on a furlough?

Anthony, I'll take command
of the Egyptian forces.

Yeah, that's right, I was forgetting,
be careful then, Nobarbus,

as soon as you see that
we are surrounded, don't hold back

the surprise,
surprise us at once.

- You can trust me.
- I trust you.

Go, my heart is with you!

I will multiply my forces,
I will come back a winner

to gather from your divine lips
a well deserved kiss. Hail!

Hail!

Bye.

Enobarbus, listen to me, are you
still ready to do anything for me?

My divine one, to see you happy

I'd be willing to throw you
into the arms of another man.

What do you mean?

It is also possible
that Octavian might win.

It's possible...

Little Enobarboncinus,

do you think you can teach me
to do my job as queen?

What a mess!
Romans beating up Romans!

Attack! Forward!
We follow them!

Mamma Mia! - Every man for himself!
Betrayal! - Every man for himself!

Have you news of Enobarbus,
with the Egyptian troops? - None!

Resist to the last man, while
I'm going to meet Enobarbus. Go!

Totonno? Totonno, let's be merry,
let's be merry, oh, how happy I am!

The battle is about to be ended
and everything goes wonderfully!

I'm glad! Tell me,
are we winning?

I'm telling you that everything
is going well, that means we are losing.

You are confusing me! How is it
that we are losing and all goes well?

That's it.

But I say, are we losing as Romans,
as Egyptians or as simpletons?

What I mean to say...I mean
to say that Octavian is winning.

Yes?

Did you understand?

Ha! I�m very glad, but how long does
it take to lose this war,

I am tired to remain down here.
Do not steal that apple.

Park the charriots! Orders from
the Queen: Put away your arms!

My Queen, a defeated Anthony comes
to you as furious as a bull

that's furious!
Be on guard!

Isis, give me all my strength!
And also some good luck!

- Where is Cleopatra?
- Tony.

Where is Cleopatra? Ah, here you are!
Wicked Egyptian, witch, unfaithful,

this is your love! With a smile
on your lips you sent me to

fight while you were contriving
the most vile betrayal!

I?

Yes you! I should kill you!
But I won't do it! And you know why?

So as not to spoil Octavian's triumph,
the triumph of a Roman as I am.

Let him make you a prisoner!
Let him take you to Rome on a leash,

tied to his chariot, let him expose you
to the insults of the plebs...

Ah! Cleopatra, you don't know what
the Roman plebs are when they throw

their insults, what comes out
of their mouths.

Where you ever to the stadium?
No! So you don't know.

Oh, but Anthony, I don't understand you!
Explain yourself...Did we lose perhaps?

Did we...I lost! Because you, you
weren't there, neither you nor your army!

How is that?

Had I seen the shadow
of an Egyptian! Nothing!

But what have I got to do with it!
I was here praying to the gods.

You prayed to them badly!

But my army was
under your lieutenant.

Yeah! He's a good one!
Enobarbus!

Where has he gone? Enobarbus,
wretched fellow, damn you!

Noble Anthony, if he betrayed you
as I suppose he did,

he must be in Octavian's camp,
he could hardly hear you!

Misfortune! Misfortune!
Adverse destiny does not save

its blows and adds to defeat
the anger of my lord,

so that I lose both throne and love.
My heart, you that are prepared

to the hardest trials,
bear with defeat, but how

don't you break under the suspicions
of the noble Anthony?

Ahhh, death! Where are you?
Death, the deliverer!

Come, come to take
the most unlucky of queens!

and drag her into your dark world
together with her loved one!

Cleopatra! Let's not joke!
Be calm, young woman, be calm.

Ah! Let's kill ourselves, Anthony, let's
kill ourselves! Give me your sword!

Are you crazy? We need to be calm!
Calm is the virtue of the strong ones!

And besides my soldiers are still
fighting, yes, they are withdrawing,

but who can say that
theirs is not a strategic move?

But they are withdrawing!....
What a misfortune!

Well, they'll give us...they'll
give us time to flee no?

Let's do something...and go
into exile...so many kings

are in exile, there will be
place for us too!

And they are not badly off!

Oh! So long...so long as
I don't lose you...

Tony, two hearts and a hut!

Yes, Cleopatra, let's do that,
go there and pack the suitcases,

fill them with gold, jewels,
precious stones, all that you

can because you must understand..
without dough, my Cleopatra,

it's hard to exile!

Come! there's a secret passage
behind the throne known only to me!...

I know about it too!

- Go ahead!
- You go first.

Divine Octavian!

The Queen of Egypt
is at your feet!

She declares herself
your slave! And is...

Noble Octavian! The lady of
high and low Egypt, the daughter

of the sun and of the moon,
greets you as

the liberator
of the Eastern lands!

Salve! But where are you!
inside a sea shell?

And is this your throne?

For you, the only lord of the world,
there are no other thrones !

I receive you in a simple manner,
as humble daughter of Venus.

Ah, well, well,
I understand!

Well, I must admit that as
an ornament to my triumph

the ensemble will
be rather a decoration.

Certainly!

Yes, we'll need some music,
slaves, lights...I'll take it!

Besides, the packing is done...
Close up, close well.

There must be a key, yes.

Have everything shipped at once
to Rome, as samples

with no specified value eh?

Ah, yes! Thusly you thank me!
I, who paved you the way

to triumph and power!
I, who removed your rival,

Marc Anthony!

Removed?
What do you mean?

Yes, yes, I killed him,
the man who loved me...

You did that?

Octavian, Octavian, how are you?
The devil take you...

You?
But weren't you dead?

No I wasn't, why?

But Cleopatra told
me she had killed you.

She must have
killed Marc Anthony!

And are you
not Marc Anthony?

Not I!

- And why not?
- Why not...why not...

Why not?

Why am I not Marc Anthony?

Are you saying now that
I am not Marc Anthony? Aho!

I'd like to see who dares to say
that I'm not Marc Anthony.

What did you tell me then?

It�s the truth!
I was sure of it....

Don't mind her, she would not
tell the truth even if they tore

her nails out, they are fake anyhow!
Take a look!...

I don't understand anything
anymore, it's the end...

The asp! Where's the asp?
Give me the asp!

What asp does she want?
Give it to her...

Oh...by the way,
how is your sister?

Just a minute!

No, no, tell me
how she is.

Just a minute!

Your sister. your sister,
how's your sister?

I understand!

But you better tell me,
what were you up to against me?

Nothing! What was I up to?

What do you mean nothing?

Nothing.

You sent troops against me!

I? What do I know,
they wanted to come!

But they attacked me!

Well, they are boys...
they are hotheaded...

one must be patient!

But the troops were
under you command.

Under Marc Anthony's command!

Under MacAnthony's?
What a scoundrel!

That Marc Anthony, eh!

Don't joke!
How do you explain that to me?

What do I know?
You better do the explaining.

But don't you understand
that men were killed?

Well, dear Octavian.
One must be patient,

as you know on such occasions...
there is always someone who gets killed!

But the dead were my men!

Well, all right! Let's not subtilize!
The dead might have been yours,

mine, his, ours, theirs,
what do you want from me?

The victory was yours,
Egypt is yours...by the way...

by the way....You must give me
20 million sesterees.

20 million sesterces?

20 million sesterces!

But how many people
are there in Egypt?

Two million! At ten sesterces
each, you figure it out!

But 20 million sesterces
is too much!

Too much? Why,
how much do you want to give me?

Well...I don't know....
18 million....

18 million...are you crazy?
Do you have bugs in you head?

And he came all the way from Rome!
He came and he made hay here!

Listen. To show you that
I'm your friend, you give me

the 20 million and I'll make
the Suez Canal near Egypt, all right?

- All right.
- Am I a friend?

All right, shake hands.

One, two, three.
Agreed!

Suez is yours!

Well, I had to give it
to him and that's that...

Anthony....I'm dying....

- There it goes again!
- What?

Cleopatra must
have eaten beans again!

In the can?

How should
I know what happened?

- I'm dying...
- Woman! What happened to you?

Ah! I'm dying...

What's that serpent?
Take that serpent off her at once!

It's late, Anthony! It's late!

Why, what time is it?

Sweet as a balm
the asp already bit me!

Really? The asp? This is an asp?
This is a big eel.

This is a big eel.
She stole it from the fish man...

I don't think so!

I saw her standing
in front of the store!

Good bye! Anthony!

Good bye dear!

Only Isis knows how
you were able to save yourself!

Well....

Too bad! We'd taken
the last trip together!

In the meantime, my child,
start going, I will follow you

in thirty or forty years,
what do you say?

Believe me, Naso, I'm really
glad you came to see us!

But, dear Anthony it has not been
easy to find this place of refuge.

You really retired from the world!
You lucky man!

- Do you need anything else?
- No.

Listen, tell your husband
to come here right away.

Right away.

Anthony! That slave
looks like Cleopatra to me.

It is Cleopatra!
I enslaved her.

But wasn't she bitten by an asp?

Died the asp!

Did you send for me?
- Yes. - What do you want?

Listen, Enobarbus, go to the stables,
brush down my horses,..

wash very well the baby's bottom,
put the harnesses, prepare the biga,

because I want
to accompany Publius Naso to Rome.

In conscience, I wanted to remind
you that you destined me

to the kitchens,
not to the stables.

Quiet! I'm the master
and you will do as told.

Am I giving you a salary? - Yes.
Did I make you marry Cleopatra? - Yes.

Is Cleo cheating on you? - Yes.
- Are you a cuckold? - Yes.

What do you want then?

Anything you say,
but not the stables!

Keep quiet! That's enough...
you have no choice...

Either you obey or the stake!

What's the stake?

One of those
famous suspensions..

I'll go to the stables.

Go. Octavia, I'll accompany
Naso to Rome and be right back.

Let's go.

You'll see what
a traffic there is!

You don't say?

English subtitles by
Spiny Norman & knappen

Christmas gift for the Karagargians
December 2011