All language subtitles for The Healing Powers of Dude S01E02

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Dude.

Your face
is surprisingly comfortable.

Time to get ready for school.

- Mornin', bud.
- Hey, how you doing?

- Good.
- Noah.

Unless you're auditioning to be
Bert and Ernie's new roommate...

I'd change.

Well, I was feeling good.

Don't blame me.
Dogs perceive colors differently.

- Wait. I made you panaffles.
- I'm not hungry, Dad.

But they're the best of both worlds!

Sounds good to me.

Aw, he's earned it.

Second week of school,
and now he's rejecting my panaffles?

Hey, have you thought any more
about what I said last night?

About how you're worried
your arms are getting wrinkly?

No. About how it's a good time for you
to start sculpting again

now that Noah's officially back at school.

- Rather talk about your geriatric arms.
- I'm being serious.

Your art was getting attention,

then you put it all on hold
to homeschool Noah.

I just don't want you hanging around
being sad all day.

Don't worry about me.

I'm not sad at all.

I can't wait
to forget about this panaffle,

and then randomly find it in a month.

There's that corndog.

Ew, a corndog?

Might as well just eat vomit.

Well, joke's on you,
because I've eaten vomit many times.

Not surprising, coming from a mutt.

Well, I'm Miss Grumpy Pants,
and I pretty much run this neighborhood.

Well, I'm Dude,
and I'm Noah's emotional-support animal.

Aren't we all?
My human holds me and cries every night.

Yeah. It's not the same.

I helped Noah get into homeroom.

I don't know what that is.

Dude, we gotta go!

Well, I've got another
exciting day of school to get to.

Until next time, panaffle.

Aah, I just got my fur colored!

My weekend was chill,

minus my parents
high-fiving me every ten minutes

for finishing school on Friday.

Well, I had a...

classic Turbo weekend.

What does that mean?

That it was...

Did you just sit around
and play video games all weekend?

Yep. It was so awesome.

Looks like today will be easy-peasy.

Maybe I can get in a morning nap.

Wait. How long is class?

It doesn't matter.
I have no concept of time.

Okay, my future world changers,

let's get started.

This morning,
at breakfast with my mom, s--

You still live with your mom?

You try paying for a one-bedroom
on a teacher's salary, Amara.

Don't become a teacher.

So, anyway, she pointed out
that since we're all new here,

the perfect first assignment would be...

an oral presentation

where you talk about yourself
in front of the whole class!

Talk...

In front of the whole class?

Be prepared to give your presentation
this Friday,

and it will count the same as a test,
so please, take it seriously.

Wait. Is the roof leaking?

Nope. You're just turning
into a sweat blob.

So much for easy-peasy.

I'm just gonna send Noah a little text.

Check-in.

Hey, bud.

How's it going?!!

No, too many exclamation points.

Yo, bro, you good?

What?

Hope today
is more funday than Monday.

Winky face.

Perfect.

Noah?

Hi, Karen.

No, I'm not holding
Noah's Spider-Man pencil case.

- I can't believe she did that.
- I know.

I'll take a muffin.

- Noah.
- Hey.

chicken nuggets.

In one foot, go left.

Why don't you-- um...

In one foot, go right.

Can I just...

Make your first u-turn.

Just give up.

There had to have been a faster route.

Hey.

- Thanks for saving me a spot.
- Of course.

I just had Simon pester some kids
until they gave up their seats.

Pester?

You told me they wanted to hear
my Bruno Mars story.

So I'm standing in line at Taco Bell
when the voice of an angel says--

Are you doing okay?

Yeah. Why?

Because when Fleckburg
gave us the assignment,

you hid under your desk.

Yeah, I was just looking
for my... contact.

Okay, I don't wear contacts.

I got to do something
to make him feel better.

What always helps me?

Treats!

I bet if you ask Fleckburg,
she'd let you out of it.

I can't do that.

It took a lot to convince my parents
I was ready to get back to school,

and if I cop out,
they'll worry I can't handle it.

Would help to hear my presentation?

I'm already done.

But we just got the assignment
this morning.

I wrote and memorized it
between periods.

I begin with the story of my grandparents'
daring pilgrimage to America,

continue through my birth that took place
in the back booth of an IHOP,

and conclude with my dream

of being in a revival
of Annie Get Your Gun on Broadway.

That is very... thorough.

Well, my presentation is going to revolve
around a day in the life of Turbo.

That's me. Turbo's my alter-ego.

We know. You bring it up all the time.

Guys, my issue
isn't what I'm gonna talk about.

It's just the actual talking part.

Are either of you nervous about it?

Nervous isn't in my vocabulary.

Well, you would've been nervous
if you had been at Taco Bell

when the voice of an angel--

I just thought of something.

You know, before my mom
performs brain surgery,

she creates a calm environment

and meditates to help her
get in the right head space.

Head space?
'Cause she's a brain surgeon?

- I don't get it.
- Anyway...

it works for her,
and she's only lost, like, six patients.

Only six?

That's mildly reassuring.

I guess I could try it.

Don't mind me.

Definitely not cutting.

Let's see what's-- ...

bingo.

Hello.

Nice to see you walking around
the cafeteria unattended.

Nice to see you walking around
wearing a hideous cat bow tie.

Now give me that cookie.

Wait, were you... reaching for this?

I'm sorry. Looks like that is
the last one. That is a shame.

You better not eat that.

That is good.

Th-That is truly the best cookie
I have ever had in my life.

Enjoy your giant sprinkle cookie.

This isn't over, cat man.

Mom!

Hi, sweetie. How was your day?

- I need help with my science homework.
- I thought dad was helping you with that.

Let's not kid ourselves.

Take a moment to get yourself together.
I'll be in my room.

Hold on one second.

Listen.

I know it seems like everything
is going great with Noah right now,

but I still need you to be supportive.

You just have more experience
with the school and social politics,

so anything you can do to help him out,

I'd be super-appreciative.

How appreciative?

Do you remember
those incredibly overpriced sunglasses

you were begging me to buy you?

I'd be happy to help my big bro.

And the same goes for your dad.

I think he's feeling
a little extra-sensitive right now.

Ach.

How much coddling
do the men in our family need?

Mom!

Making lemonade.

No, spa water.

So that's what middle schoolers
are into now.

In my day, we chugged Sunny D.

Once, your mom and I went to a spa,

and they put cucumber slices on our eyes.

Maybe we could do that, and then
we could catch up on school stuff.

That's a zucchini.

Okay, Dude, the lights are low,

we got our spa water

as well as some essential oils
I stole from my mom's nightstand.

Careful. Too much of that stuff,

and suddenly you're a guy
with a man bun teaching yoga.

I am calm.

This is relaxing.

I can totally do my presentation.

I'm calm. This is relaxing.

I think it's working.

I feel very zen.

Lemon in my eye.

How would you like to be
patient number seven?

Don't listen to her.
You're still very relaxed.

Embry! Don't you ever knock?

Chill. Grandma just wanted a photo.

- Why?
- She's old and weird. Get over it.

Uck, what's wrong with your face?

Out.

Okay, so creating a calm environment
was a fail,

but we'll just
come up with something else.

And, also, I think you're
supposed to drink the spa water,

not put it in your eyes.

Thanks for the tip.

This lavender oil
is really messing with my sense of smell.

I don't even know who I am anymore.

Bacon!

I'm back.

Maybe you could just...
imagine everyone in their underwear.

Hard pass.

You know, when I get nervous
taking a test,

I just sing my favorite song,
and all of my fears fade away.

I'm afraid to ask what your favorite--

Okay, stop. That was horrifying.

Imagine hearing it with dog ears.

- I don't know.
- What?

No. The singing was horrifying,
but I get what Simon's saying.

I play drums to make myself feel better.

So do that. Play the drums
while practicing your speech.

I'm a genius.

Yep. Brilliant.

My name is Noah Ferris!

My mom's a lawyer! My dad's an artist!

You're doing great!
This is totally worth the migraine!

I-- I've lived here my whole life!

Yikes! The guy in front
should really put his shirt on.

I-- I rarely get sick!

Which my dad thinks is because
he fed me lots of spinach as a baby!

You got this! Just keep drumming!

Did I say my dad's an artist?

Boo! You suck!

Boo!

Embry? What now?

Grandma said your hair looked flat.
I'm adding volume.

Why does your face
have to make this so hard?

Marvin?

Good.

You're in a fetal position on the floor.

Look what I found in Noah's backpack.

It was open. I swear.

That's what my mom said
when she read my diary.

He's supposed to give an oral presentation
in front of the whole class on Friday,

- and he didn't tell us about it.
- Okay.

Don't get upset. Unh.

I had to cross-examine
a very emotional dental hygienist today,

and I'm still on the edge.

I don't think you should
look at Noah not telling us as a negative.

Clearly he feels like he can handle it
on his own, and that's a good thing.

I don't know.

Well, maybe my surprise
will make you feel better.

Surprise? Did you get me a boat?

What? No. Why?

We don't even live near water.
No more guessing. Let me just show you.

It's a big pile of scrap metal.

Yeah, for your next amazing sculpture.
And it's all totally legal,

or at least that's what
the guy who's delivering it told me.

You're so incredibly talented.

I just don't want your sacrifice for Noah
to get in the way of pursuing your dreams.

That is...

so much better than a boat.

In my defense,
I suggested singing, not drumming,

so still a genius, for the record.

Noah really needs that cookie today.

Hey, guys, totally not cutting again.
Hah hah.

Hey, that dog's cutting again!

Hah! Take that, dog!

Super-excited about this cookie.
Not at all rubbing it in the dog's face.

I can't believe I failed Noah.

Ada Smith, peel that gum off my table
and put it right back in your mouth.

How many pieces of gum
have you put under there, young lady?

You foolish man.

Remember, sanitary is planetary.

Dude.

Did you train Dude
to bring you cookies?

Does he also deliver savory foods?

Thanks, bud, but I don't know
if I can eat anything right now.

No biggie.

It's not like I risked everything
to get you this cookie.

I'll eat it.

What? No! Bad Simon!

Drop it.

Guys, I'm running out of time.

The presentation's tomorrow.

I wish there was a way
I could practice in front of an audience

I know isn't judging me.

A non-judgmental audience.

I may know where to find that.

And I have a younger sister named Embry.

She's a lot...

- Um...
- Floyd, it's got to be clean by now.

Eyes on the kid.

Come on. I got a hot date
with a Pomeranian.

When I gave you all bacon treats,

the deal was
you sit here for the whole speech.

Now enough yapping.

...and I had got my first drum set
when I was five.

Um, my top-ten favorite drummers are...

Uck, he's listing drummers. I'm out.

Dave Grohl, John Theodore, Questlove...

I'm here live with Noah Ferris,
who, out of clear desperation,

is practicing his oral presentation
in front of a group of dogs.

Noah, do you think you're just not cut out
for presentations and you never will be?

Hold on, Trixie. I'm coming.

This is what I get
for paying them all up front.

Wow. He's so bad,
dogs can't even stand to watch him.

Back to you, Jeff.

Wait. I'm about to list
my top-ten favorite foods!

Don't worry. Nobody watches local news.

I guess I'm just hopeless, Dude.

Finally, a not-horrible pic of you.

Grandma can't want a picture this badly!

This entire time, you've been creating
an Instagram account for me?

Mom wanted me to help you
with your social life

now you're back at school.

And we both agreed
that the best way to do that

was to give you an online presence
like everyone else.

That way, you don't seem
like you're in witness protection.

I've always wanted my own account.

Maybe @therealhotdude?

That could be problematic.

- Delete the account.
- But...

Embry, please. I have enough on my plate
without adding social media.

Okay, fine.

But if Mom asks,
I'm being super-supportive.

I'm getting those sunglasses.

He'll thank me later.

- Dad?
- Hey, Noah.

- Just tidying up.
- Liar.

Do you have a second?

Of course. I mean, yeah, I guess
I could, you know, take a quick break.

What's up?

I have an oral presentation tomorrow,
and I've decided not to do it.

Can you email Miss Fleckburg
and tell her? Thanks. Bye.

Hold up.

Sit.

Noah, sit.

Oops, sorry. Habit.

I wish you told me sooner.

Not too long ago, we worked
on every school assignment together.

Why don't you want my help anymore?

It's not that I don't want your help.

I thought if you guys knew how stressed
about this presentation I was...

you'd worry I couldn't handle
being back at school.

Look, bud... I get why you're scared,

but as your former teacher,
I also know what a good student you are

and that this isn't
your first oral presentation.

Remember Mount Rushmore?

I remember having
a blistering rash across my face

'cause we realized I'm allergic to glue.

Well, I remember you had the whole family
hanging on your every word.

Even Embry stopped talking, briefly.

I'm not doing this presentation
dressed as a mountain.

I just think that you're gonna regret it
if you skip this assignment.

And I know you're clever enough
to find away to make it work.

And I'm here to support you.

I wish I'd known my dad.

Wow, he really does sense
when you need him.

Yeah.

And that is why Turbo
is no longer allowed in Canada.

Thank you, Simon, for that...

interesting presentation
about your alter-ego Turbo.

Funny enough,
I am also no longer allowed in Canada.

Who's next?

Noah, you ready?

I'm ready.

- What is he doing?
- No idea.

- Should I go pull the fire alarm?
- That's illegal.

If he doesn't stand soon, do it.

My...

name is Noah Ferris...

and I have social anxiety disorder.

But most of you already know that.

If you didn't, me hiding behind
my emotional-support dog right now

probably sealed the deal.

My hands are so big.

My...

mom is a lawyer.

My dad is an artist.

But he was also my teacher
before I came back to school.

He's always had my back,
and he sacrificed a lot for me...

which I'll never forget.

It was my parents who got me Dude.

Now we're getting to the good part.

And I'm really glad they did.

You killed it, Noah.

We killed it.

I accept thanks and chin scratches.

Yours was awesome, too, Amara.

I felt like I was losing people
around my toddler years,

but I won them back
when I handed out my mom's gimbap.

Um, hello. Isn't anyone
gonna tell me how great I was?

- So good.
- I can't.

Noah, glad I caught you.

Look, I feel absolutely awful about this,

but for health-code reasons, Dude-y--

Dude.

Anywho...

Unfortunately, Dude...

has been banned from the cafeteria
until further notice.

What?

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