Original subtitles

♪ When we're out in the moonlight ♪

♪ lookin' up on skies above ♪

♪ feels so good ♪

♪ when I'm near you ♪

♪ holding hands ♪

♪ and making love ♪

♪ whoo, whoo, baby ♪

♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

♪ Sandy beecher ♪

♪ was making love ♪

♪ as it travels in our lives ♪

♪ feels so good ♪

♪ walkin' side by side ♪

♪ want to be with you ♪

♪ all my life ♪

♪ whoa, oh, baby ♪

♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

♪ yes, oh, baby ♪

Whoo!

No bedsores?

Clear.

No pulse?

Clear.

Why do you keep having to push them buttons?

Sometimes things need to be reset.

Did you ever have to reset a prolapsed anus?

Do you even... Do you know what that is?

Have you ever... Have you ever had to deal

with a prolapsed an... anus?

Chief?

Did they teach you that in nurse school?

You and the ladies get that lesson?

I'll tell you what. I'll give you a little lesson on it.

A prolapsed anus is when the anus, which is a muscle, gives

out, after years of abuse.

Comes out of the rear and hangs like a, like a slack bag of tissue.

Like a purse that you might have... A nurse would have.

Can you imagine what it would take to make your anus do that?

A lot of butt fucking.

The old man's probably got a prolapsed amus... anus.

Anus and Andy.

Nothing?

Famous anus cookies.

Anything there?

So you change my dad?

You put diapers on him and clean his asshole, and take...

Put his shit in a bag, throw it out, put it down the toilet?

Pretty cool.

Pretty cool way to live.

I wonder if my dad's shit has ever gotten under your

fingernails, and then you forgot, and you are driving

home, worrying about... worrying about your life, and you start

biting your fingernails, and his shit gets in your mouth.

You got to be careful.

Make sure you wash them hands.

Okay.

Adios.

Yeah.

What's up?

I know, but we can bring something else in, right?

Do we need something with evergreens that's gonna last...

I just want you to look at this bush here because

it's looking really... It's pretty bad.

Yeah, I don't know if there's a bug on it.

Look at the leaves on there.

And it's all been chewed, and it's unbalanced.

It doesn't fit.

Yeah, and it's blocking this thing here.

Most of when you get the flies, they... the cuts are much more round.

That could be the larvae going through it.

But I remember a grapevine... It's comin' along, huh?

Yeah, yeah, looks great. Getting there.

Good job.

Hey, what are these?

These are looking very weedy.

Those are out of here, right?

I love the black-eyed Susan.

Nadar LA piscina, I guess.

Nadar LA piscina.

Yeah, yeah, sure. It's my guys here don't speak any English.

They keep saying, "nadar LA piscina, nadar LA piscina!

Swim in your pool."

So they're always going to me "nadar LA piscina?"

That's great. "Can we swim in their pool?"

I go, "well, you know, it's private property.

Yeah, it's gotten hot out here for sure.

This is looking a little troubled over here.

This one's shading it so badly.

Let's get more light under it.

What do you say if me and my guys took a quick little dip?

What do you think?

They want to swim.

Why not?

I suppose.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Sure.

Once they've finished here.

They're gonna mow before they go, as well, right?

We can get you some towels. The housekeeper will get you some towels.

No, that's fine.

Yeah.

I had a great day.

I went to the shopping mall.

I feel so good about hanging out with my best friends today.

Who are your best friends?

All my loved ones are in this room.

I want to thank everybody for being so kind and considerate.

How about a round of applause just for the five of us?

I respect my friends that come to my house that has an artistic vibe.

Obviously, the host of this house cares about

art and the visual space and the energy within, and

he respects all his friends that he invites over here equally.

I love when I go to my friend's house and their

bathroom's really, really clean.

There's not pubic hair on the rim of the toilet seat.

I'm with you on that.

Yeah.

Oh, and speaking of bathrooms, I wanted to confess something.

I used... you have a box of always feminine wipes in there, and I used a couple.

Just... my clitoris was really messy.

So I had to wash up.

You have these terrific comedic instincts, and then you

immediately sabotage them with the worst follow-up.

The worst?

A terrible sense of humor.

So you know all comedians ever, so you are qualified to

say what is the absolute worst. You've heard all comedians ever.

No, it's in my opinion.

Well, then you can't use an absolute term like "the worst."

I can do whatever I want.

Then give me a French kiss.

Well, fine, who disagrees?

Does he have a terrible sense of humor?

Does he?

Absolutely.

The cool thing about a group of

friends is that you got the smart one, the

cool one, the musical one, and the funny guy.

And that just makes it, like, a well-rounded cool group,

you know, to hang out with at my house.

We're like the... The avengers.

God, you were supposed to say something funny.

That was your cue to, like, boom, good joke.

I want to take this moment to just acknowledge how strong

of a bond and what a great sense

of community I feel amongst everybody here.

I mean, I really appreciate all the support, and I appreciate,

you know, the friendship honestly, so God bless ya.

Let me say it, I never... I never had a family, okay?

Because my parents, as you guys know, died really early on.

I was raised in foster homes.

This is my family.

Here's to my family.

You are so special.

You are so special to us.

You are so important to my life.

I need you.

I don't say that to... I don't say that to anybody.

I mean, I would say it.

I'd say it to all four of you.

Three syllables, I need you.

Hey, let's put 'em up here.

I'm not fucking toasting him.

To the four of us here.

Thank you, cheers. Bottoms up.

Bottoms up, everybody.

♪ If you believe in me ♪

♪ how I try ♪

♪ she goes back and forth ♪

♪ with you ♪

♪ up and down ♪

♪ up and ♪

♪ get some feeling now ♪

Anyway, I was thinking, like, how in terms of socialism,

well, 'cause, you know, there's this whole thing with like,

a socialist state, you know, situation."

And honestly people don't really even understand that

there's many versions of that.

Well... I-I think there's a third way.

Is this the middle finger that's about to emerge?

Well, I think people gave up too early on feudalism.

Oh.

Yeah.

You know, you know, there's this theory that there's, like,

a large percentage of the population of human beings on the planet

that don't have, like, conscious thought.

Oh, you mean like a unique... unique thought.

Like, yeah, they're just drones.

They just go to the river, you know, you look... like Bangladesh

or something, and they just, like, go to the river and have

their week's worth of laundry on their head... or a basket...

And they just fucking wash their shit, and that's all they think.

It's like, "well, today I'm gonna wash my laundry,

you know, like, why am I here or anything."

But, I mean, the unfortunate thing is, like, that our...

Our politics and our garbage affects those people,

but they're not actively... So you're saying you wish that

everybody was on that level.

No, I think that there's some people

that deserve to be... To have their life... Their life is better

because they deserve it. Oh, I see.

Oh, I see.

I mean, because they're... They're picked by God.

Ordained, sovereigned.

Yeah, yeah, the idea... they are genetically chosen

to be on top of the fuckin' food chain. Wow!

I'm sorry.

You're blowing my mind.

Because it's very unpopular.

Yeah, I think it's... yeah, it's generally considered...

And it's not racism either. That's the trick.

Oh, it's just... It's just human.

You're just, like, doing...

There's black guys that deserve to have it just as much as white guys.

This is like evolutionary imperative is what you're talking about.

Kind of.

I didn't take that class in college.

Neither did I.

So I probably don't know what I'm fucking saying anyway.

You know, I mean... You know, Hitler had...

You didn't just say, "Hitler had."

Hitler had... What?

Ideas.

Uh-huh.

I'm not a... you know, a Nazi or anything, but I think

that he gets... he deserves a little bit of credit.

Um, yeah.

You know, for... not for... For killing any,

you know, forget... take him... Take genocide out of the...

Murder out of the equation... Sure.

He was kind of like a, uh...

Like a... Like a male cheerleader for his own people.

I will say he was an incredible public speaker.

Very, very good.

He also had horrible indigestion.

This is true.

He had... he had, like, gas.

He had gas problems.

Is that why his belt was always so high up?

Well, if you watch... If you watch his speeches,

he would do his... And then at the end, people would be applauding,

and he would go... No, that's just... It's true.

Check it out.

Look on YouTube.

Wake up.

If it comes to damage to an apartment caused by shit

or piss or vomit or blood, it's usually one

of our well-to-do tenants.

The low-income poverty level guys... they'll spray taco grease

all over the wall... On the ceiling.

Maybe some bacon grease in the drains.

You know, you got to get that out.

But for the most part, even though they... They're idiots.

They keep it a little tidier, you know?

Don't have that sense of entitlement about shitting

all over our property.

Yup.

I'd like to just keep a couple of the tenants,

throw out all the others.

Let the hobos take over.

Turn it into a hobo jungle.

I don't have to be on the fucking phone with McClaren

about all this shit three times, four times a day.

Don't have to waste your time filling you in.

You let these hobos take over,

they're, again, tidy people, tidy people.

Hobos are tidy people?

They're the cleanest... Cleanest people you'd ever meet

because... I mean, their asses are dirty, but their cocks are clean

as a baby's breath.

Yeah.

Hobo dicks are cleaner than... I was reading this the other day.

Hobo dicks are cleaner than hospital scalpels.

I mean, they're like... They've done, you know...

They've taken hobo dicks under microscopes and have been

unable to detect any bacteria of any kind.

It's like 99.9% pure cock.

Everybody know... Because their cocks are sucked

so repeatedly, it's like going...

It's like taking your car to a car wash.

If you're a hobo, you go down to the fucking wall

street and wait around until about 5:01 P.M.

These stockbrokers come out all looking for

hobo dick to suck, you know what I mean?

Dicks are already hard.

And they Polish the... They Polish the fucking cocks so

They get their dicks hard in the elevator coming down knowing

that those hobos are out there with their mouths wide open.

Wide open.

Those fucking hobos have to get injections of semen into their

fucking scrotum so that they can ejaculate enough to fill the

need of these stock-broke fucks who just love

dirty, homeless semen, and that's documented.

That's in newsweek.

You look that up.

♪ Life is lies ♪

♪ one more day on the road ♪

♪ God settin' sail ♪

♪ full sail ♪

♪ callin' the hill ♪

♪ before I sail ♪

♪ the city in love ♪

♪ the bay of sky ♪

♪ well, it's a place ♪

♪ shadow go ♪

♪ shadow go ♪

These are all hand cut.

Cool.

We got a bunch of them in, so if you want to check up front.

Thank you.

Oh.

Get under it.

You get under it.

Yeah!

Two up, two out.

One, two, three.

He was gonna b.P, but he hasn't done shit since.

I've seen what he's got up...

Right.

Nah.

What?

No, does it sound like I'm on my fucking boat?

No, I'm in dad's pool room.

Yeah.

All right, well, you know, come up if you want.

Well, I'll be here.

♪ Whoa ♪

Oh, Liza, Liza.

Them slaves be workin' hard out here.

Dying out there in the thousands in the sun,

just keeling over from the heat.

From the heat!

Come on now.

Ain't it good... Ain't it right to see them die?

How hard they work for this family.

Papa use them skin for making nice furniture.

He tans them out there, makes a nice...

That couch you were on in there is all slave meat,

slave skin, as it should be.

God bless 'em.

Slave penis and vagina.

Come on, that's funny.

I know you think that's funny.

Your sense of humor ain't died.

It's a good crop of slaves we have this year, isn't it?

Real nice, nice bunch.

I got to know 'em personally.

Some of them I know by their first name.

Old man be dead by now, I expect.

Ain't breathin' too good.

I expect he won't shine too... Too kindly on our family.

He got one son out there on a boat.

He got another boy up there in the looney bin,

married to some whore who rubs...

Who rubs... rubs sh... Shit on her vagina.

Some 'ho got... you the kind of

whore that... You the kind of whore that swallows cum.

You are my only cum-swallowing sister-in-law, and I appreciate it.

Cum swallower.

That's the proudest thing to be in this family.

So how... So how long, uh...

How long you think they're going to keep him up in there?

So are they weaning him off the stuff, or how's that work?

What's the process?

Are you really asking that?

I'm curious. He's my bro.

I care about my bro.

Want to make sure he's doing good.

You get to go up there for any kind of conjugal visits?

You get to go... You get to, you know...

Fuck him?

Suck him?

Do they have to keep him in some kind of straitjacket

and, like, let you jerk him off?

I mean, what's going on with that?

Uh, can I get a pabst?

Give me a glass or what?

Oh, Jesus.

Hey, you guys hiring here?

Looking for anybody to help out around the bar?

I'm looking for work.

No.

I could, you know, get some different kind of people in here.

You know what I mean? A little diversity?

Is that right?

Yeah.

I could get my buddies to come in and spend a lot of money.

Got to think about a whole... This whole area

is the next place where people are going to be hanging out,

and you got to get some people

in here so they don't feel so intimidated.

Mm.

But I love it though;

It's like a good fucking bar.

It's, like, good energy and everything.

Good location.

Where you from?

I'm in williamsburg, you know?

So, represent.

Represent what?

What?

I'm representing williamsburg, bro!

You got to respect where I come from, because I respect

where you come from.

Come on.

You know where we come from?

You come from "the hood."

Right? I know.

I'm cool.

I'm with you guys.

I'm on your side.

I'm just hanging out. I'm just trying to explore.

I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone,

trying to be cool and hang out with cool guys like you dudes.

This is about respecting this block, 'cause I get it.

I understand that you guys are... You know, work hard or,

you know, have a lot of history.

For real, man.

I don't mean to be disrespectful, but you guys look

like you could be tough guys.

You guys are, like, tough guys. What a tough guy look like?

Like a black guy.

Oh, wow!

That's a stereotype now, Jack.

Hey, you can fucking... You stereotype me.

You fucking look at me and think... you make all sorts of

Well, what, you a yuppie or something?

Yeah, 'cause I got fucking money.

Because, you know, I come from... You got money?

Yeah. Yeah? How much money you got?

Right now, 20 bucks.

So you're shit out of luck.

You can't fucking stab me.

You can't fucking stab me!

We got some credit cards over here, man.

Where are your fucking bitches, though, man?

You got to fucking pay for 'em in this part of town, right?

I want some black ass.

I want to fuck some fucking black ass.

B- I-g.

♪ We all hanging out ♪

♪ we all hanging on the block ♪

♪ checking out the bitches ♪

♪ bitch, a bitch ♪

Now I'm trying to be honest with you, and you all up in my grill.

Up in your grill! Bet you listen to radio too much, huh, Jack?

Well...

We could get Tony to come in and cut like a dog... cat door...

Pet door here and put a sign on that says,

"techno... techno night, $25 bucks."

Lock it up at 4:00 A.M.

Then we do the controlled demolition, and then you sell

all the techno idiots as scrap meat to the renderer.

I've had dishwashing jobs in the past.

You have?

Yes.

And you show up to work on time, and you do your job properly,

and you scrub hard and all that?

Absolutely. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

I have Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday lunch shifts.

Okay, yeah, that would be... That'd work for me.

And how much are you looking to get paid?

I don't know what the rate is.

I guess, like, $10 an hour?

- $7.25. - Okay, that's good.

That's fine.

Yeah, 10... How old are you?

I'm 35.

I'll take a little hit.

Just a touch.

Just tell me when.

You tell me when, okay? Just pour it like a regular man.

I'm not a regular man.

I can't do it that way.

Just fuck it.

I'll just have champagne.

But speaking of American terrorists, I was just reading this thing

about Timothy McVeigh. Apparently, and I didn't know this,

but I was reading this, apparently, that building had it coming.

He said, "it deserved it."

That building was a fucking asshole.

I read that, too.

Cargill has to wait 30 seconds before he makes

any comment on any subject or any conversation piece.

So that you have... There is some kind of a clearance period;

A decontamination zone for your thoughts.

Also, go... you could also do the rules of ten.

Every tenth thought comes out. You know what I mean?

You got a thought, you're like, "okay, that's one, save it."

Store it. "Two."

Maybe destroy it.

Up to ten.

Comment, wait for a pause.

Yeah, let's try it out.

I think we are in the process of trying it out.

I think you have no concept of time.

I bet if you... Somebody with a timer checked...

You have an hourglass in your pocket?

What do you think ten seconds feels like?

You tell me when ten seconds is up. Ready?

Hold on.

I bet it's gonna be three seconds.

Ready?

No overestimating.

That's cheating.

Ready? Go.

No, I'm not ready.

I prefer if we started again, because I wasn't ready.

Ask me if I'm ready, and then I'll say, "yes,"

and then you start. All right, are you ready?

Yes.

Here we go. Start.

♪ And the world ♪

♪ you've taken ♪

♪ there's no way ♪

Yo!

Hey, put on some hip-hop.

I'm sorry, guys, the radio's broke.

No music today.

No, no. I am sorry.

Radio, and then the hip-hop.

Why don't you fuckers have satellite radio in this cab?

You pay so much fucking money for these cabs.

You should have the option to

listen to whatever kind of music you want.

Hip-hop.

We make ya... ♪ Boom, cat, cat, ca-gung, cat ♪

♪ boom, cat, cat, ca-gung, cat ♪ ♪ boom, hip, hip-hip-hip-hop ♪

♪ give me some hip-hip-hop ♪

♪ I want some taxi hip-hop ♪

♪ some black music ♪

♪ black music ♪

Hey!

I don't have... I do not have a car radio, because I am just a boy.

You're just a wooden boy.

Maybe you know this hip-hop song.

♪ You'll get a no-no tip ♪

♪ you're gonna get a no-no tip ♪

Shut up!

♪ You're gonna get a no-no tip ♪

♪ you're gonna get ♪

♪ you're gonna get a no-no tip ♪

♪ you're gonna get ♪

♪ a no-no tip ♪

♪ you're gonna get a no-no tip ♪

♪ 'cause you got no radio ♪

♪ gonna get a no-no tip ♪ ♪ 'cause you got no radio ♪

♪ you're gonna get a no-no tip ♪

♪ 'cause you got to get a radio ♪

♪ and you got to get a radio ♪

♪ you got no radio ♪

♪ ain't got no radio ♪

♪ you got no radio ♪

♪ it's what we deserve ♪

♪ you got to get the satellite ♪

♪ so that people can listen to what they want ♪

♪ you got to get the satellite ♪

Take a magic stick.

Light it up.

Think about God. Think about your family.

I love you, my Christ.

I'm gonna take somebody else's prayer, because I don't have... Aww.

I feel like if you steal... This counts as stealing.

It's beautiful.

Let's do it together.

Can... dude, will you take a picture of me?

Oh, yeah. I'm a huge fan.

Ready? One, two, three.

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry... We're almost done.

Thank you, dude.

All four points and a swirl.

I think that's just too much scent.

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ ahh, ahh ♪

That's nice.

That's nice tone.

That's perfect tone.

Perfect volume.

You are in the demon's house.

I love that kind of music.

Nice.

This is the noisy one.

Ow.

Shh.

Come on.

Come on.

You can do it.

Yes.

♪ Eyes to their opposites ♪

♪ lawyers impress ♪

♪ it's gonna play wrong ♪

♪ now sitting happily ♪

♪ sitting so happily ♪

Is this your cab?

Oh, oh, no.

No, sir.

I rent it... a lease.

Uh-huh.

I bet you get a lot of assholes in this cab, huh?

Huh?

A lot of people puke back here?

This... you keep it clean, though.

I respect that.

Yeah, because a lot of you fuckers don't keep your cabs clean.

No res... no dis... no disrespect.

I always thought it would be kind of fun to drive around,

you know, meeting weird people and... I don't know.

- I'm a good driver. - You don't look like a cab driver, sir.

Yeah, well, let's... We should change the way people think of cab drivers.

I'll tell you what, man.

I would pay you... I would pay you if you let me drive my...

If you let me drive myself home.

You don't trust me?

I got a driver's license.

I'm not a fucking dope.

Wh... how much, sir?

How much... what's your name?

Raj?

How much would you char... How much... If you could

let me drive for like, you know, 20 minutes?

How much?

I'm serious.

Raj!

$100 for 20 minutes.

$200.

Sir, you are very distracting!

I'm trying to talk to you. I'm not going to give you my cab.

All right, listen, I'm trying to make you... A business.

I'm trying to make a business deal with you. I will give

you $200 right now in cash if you let me drive your cab.

I'm serious.

I have it.

I have cash.

Raj, seriously.

Four... I don't know.

$400.

I'll give you...

I'll give you $400 right now if you let me drive your cab for 20 minutes.

Sir, this is not... This is not a playground... I'm serious!

This is how I make a living. This is my life!

I respect that.

I cannot let you... Raj, I re... hey, raj.

This is just two gents having a ride, talking about money,

talking about business opportunities.

Do... do you want to make $400 right now and let me drive your cab?

I'm being serious.

I'm being honest.

20 minutes. 20 minutes.

That's right.

Here, here.

You are not gonna regret it.

Thank you, man.

Appreciate it.

It's gonna be fine.

No, I need... can you... You need to sit in the back.

Is it cool if you do the back?

It's like the whole experience. You know what I mean?

No, no. Come on, 20 minutes.

20 minutes, please?

You know, for 400 bucks.

I just want to do the whole thing.

I want to do the whole experience. You know what I mean?

Come on, man, for 400 bucks?

Trust me, I'm a friend.

Thank you.

Thank... thank you very much, sir. I respect you.

Careful, okay?

Careful.

Yeah, yeah.

This feels pretty good.

Smooth.

Fucking smooth, raj.

Well worth the money, my friend.

Well worth it.

Yee.

Please, please!

What are you doing?

Whoa!

Shit.

Please pull over!

Please.

This has fucking horsepower, baby.

What do you say for a couple more minutes, all right?

Just a few more minutes, all right?

Thank... thank you, raj.

This is, like... This is making my day.

Hey, no, no!

Hey, hey.

Okay, no more.

Enough!

Hey!

Please, stop the car!

You need to stop the car now!

I need you to stop the car now!

Pull over now!

Hey!

I need to get out... Shut the fuck up!

Shut the fuck up, all right? I am calling the police!

- Is that pussy for sale? - You think I'm a fucking prostitute?

You need to stop the car!

Is this your block?

Stop it!

Fuck you! You got to... fuck.

Fuck you, you fucking pimp!

Fuck you, fuck you!

Get away from me!

Yo.

Hey.

What's up?

Are you gonna get out?

Hmm?

So I've made everything really easy.

This is completely filled out.

I just need your signature and a time to go to a notary together.

All right.

Well, let me go out to my boat.

I can take a look at it.

We can talk about it.

Get a drink.

It's just gonna be a lot easier if every single time

an easy thing needs to happen with your family... All right, well,

I'm just telling you I can't do it here.

It's maritime law;

I cannot discuss official business on the slip or on the dinghy.

It's got to be on the boat.

So we going on the boat? Come on.

Do you have those clean glasses?

I'm sorry, are you deaf?

Oh, God, your fucking breath.

It smells like this dirty... oh.

I can't tell if it's the trash here or your breath.

There was something I was meaning to ask you.

Have you tried using the dish soap to clean out your asshole?

Yeah, I use it all the time. Because you stink.

Actually, this is where I shower.

I showe... I put my head in here.

You can fit it in there?

Rodrigo was asking me about making some bread, and

I guess they're out of yeast.

So they're wondering if they could use some of the yeast

Because I noticed how infected it gets.

Yeah, he spoke to me about that, and I directed

him to ask you about your dick cheese.

Okay.

See if that would maybe help.

Oh, wow.

So good.

So funny.

You're so funny.

You are!

You are.

I didn't realize you were so funny. I didn't realize you were.

You know I'm a convicted rapist, right?

They told you that?

Oh, really?

I thought they were supposed

to let all the employees know about that.

Yeah, I rape anything I can get my hands on, all right?

Mm-hmm.

Are these for you?

Thank you.

Okay, great!

Bye.

Good luck!

Bye.

Fuck!

Oh, shit!

Yo.

God damn it!

Motherfucker!

Fuckin' cunt!

Bitch!

Fuck!

Fuck me!

Fuck!

Ow!

Yeah, you're gonna have to keep this wound clean.

Every day you have to clean it, change the bandage.

And in seven days, you're gonna have the sutures removed.

Is that all right?

How does it feel?

It hurts, okay.

Hold that, please.

Hello?

How does that feel?

Where do you like your part?

Feels good right?

How's he doing?

Just have to change this.

Oh, you're fine.

Nope, you're fine.

Order in.

No gag reflex.

This is the exact size and shape of my penis.

The rumors are true.

Oh, shit.

You don't need to... You don't need to pull a lot.

God damn it!

Jesus Christ.

No, it's not... I got to do lower.

God damn it!

What was that supposed to be?

Nick nolte.

"God damn it.

Jesus Christ.

That's some good... That's some good pot.

There's no goddamn way we're gonna get up that hill.

There's no goddamn way we're gettin' off this boat!"

You want this?

I'm good.

Any suggestions as to where I should put it?

Put it with my other vices.

Your drug paraphernalia.

It's fucking hot.

Un... untangle that sweater off yourself.

What?

You should take your sweater off.

There's very liberal policies here for clothing.

You know, you could pretty much wear whatever you want.

Make yourself at home, you know?

Make you... make yourself at boat.

Boat home?

Need some help?

I'm gonna do a little tease for you here.

This is sort of how I seal the deal with the girls.

Oh, that's... I do one of these numbers.

One button, buttoned in.

Keep this tight.

And then, just let it loose.

That's the moment of a lifetime.

I know.

It's such... you don't want to just reveal it all right away.

This shirt does not breathe.

Better?

Oh, my God.

What a relief.

What a big difference that makes, huh?

What happens when you... What happens to this button

That's... that's a good one.

This is an actual functional button.

That's an important button.

Wow.

I do like that button. I prefer it open.

Oh, I see, this is... This zipper actually works.

This is a fully functioning zipper, too.

Oh, yeah, that's... What happens... What's down here?

All right.

Yup.

Hold on.

All right.

I'll see you at work.

Okay, see ya.

Bye.

Oh.

Easy.

Swing it around.

There we go.

So what... what is this?

A sl... a slide of fish.

Wow.

It's a big fuckin' dog, or I guess it's a really, really small man.

That's my father Dan and his dog Jake.

That's your dad?

My dad.

Why does he have that collar on?

I mean, why does your dad wear a collar?

Oh, that was so funny, and then it was so not funny.

He got a laugh, and then the second time...

Like, you think we didn't hear you?

My dad.

That's Jake. That's John.

That's my sister Rita.

That's my dad in yellow, and that's me with the... Who's the cop?

That's John.

That's my brother.

Mom's taking the shot, and dad was pissed

because he was facing towards the gift shop.

And my dad has the camera, so who knows how my mom captured this.

I like the red coat at the Irish festival.

Northern California.

Jake, John, Rita, my mom, my dad are all present.

I took this shot with my dad's camera.

Wait... why are you showing us this stuff?

Because of this.

What is it?

It's back in the Irish town in Canada.

♪ Telling me ♪

♪ telling me ♪

♪ dun-dun-dun-dun ♪

♪ dun, duh-dun-duh ♪

♪ duh-duh-duh-duh ♪

♪ duh-duh ♪

♪ someone came and took ♪

♪ Colleen away today ♪

♪ everybody there watched ♪

♪ with so much to say ♪

♪ looking at that branch ♪

♪ she hid her face ♪

♪ still refusing ♪

♪ to scream out her hate ♪

♪ she was everybody's ♪

♪ private property ♪

♪ you could pay that money ♪

♪ and then she belongs to me ♪

Whee!

Ahh.

What?

Hey!

Hey, come here!

Come here!

Hey!

Whoa!