Original subtitles

Christian Troy: TELL ME WHAT YOU

DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.

Joan Rivers: ARE YOU KIDDING?

EVERYTHING. MY BODY'S DROPPING

SO FAST MY GYNECOLOGIST NEEDS

A HARD HAT.

BUT SERIOUSLY, I WAS SENT TO YOU

BY BARBARA BUZZBERGER. SHE TOLD

ME YOU'RE THE BEST SURGEONS IN

MIAMI. OF COURSE, BARBARA ALSO

TOLD ME TO BUY A CONDO DOWN HERE

WITHOUT SAYING IT'S GOD'S

WAITING ROOM.

Sean: SO, WHAT EXACTLY, UH...

Joan: I WANNA LOOK LIKE HER.

JOAN ALEXANDRA MOLINSKY.

BORN IN BROOKLYN, RAISED IN

LARCHMONT, GRADUATED FROM

BARNARD, PHI BETA KAPPA.

Sean: THIS IS YOU?

Joan: THAT'S ME. UNRETOUCHED.

THE FACE AND THE PHOTOGRAPH.

I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME LOOK JUST

LIKE THAT.

Christian: LIKE A 4-YEAR-OLD

GIRL.

Joan: I THINK I WANT YOU TO DO

THE SURGERY.

Sean: YOU HAVEN'T SAID WHAT IT

IS YET.

Joan: SIGN THIS FIRST, IF YOU

DON'T MIND.

Christian: CONFIDENTIALLY

AGREEMENT? MS. RIVERS, EVERYBODY

KNOWS THAT YOU'VE HAD A FEW

PROCEDURES DONE.

Joan: A FEW? MY FACE HAS BEEN

TUCKED IN MORE TIMES THAN A

BEDSHEET AT A HOLIDAY INN.

WHAT I WANT YOU PEOPLE TO DO,

I DON'T WANT THE MEDIA TO KNOW

ABOUT IT UNTIL IT'S FINISHED.

THAT'S WHY I CAME TO MIAMI

INSTEAD OF NEW YORK OR L.A.

ONCE YOU UNVEIL ME, WE'LL HIT

THE TALK SHOWS. I'LL DO OPRAH

AND LARRY KING, REGIS AND KELLY,

AND THE COVER OF PEOPLE

MAGAZINE. I KNOW IT'LL HAPPEN.

Sean: AS LONG AS WE'RE CLEAR

THAT SIGNING THIS IN NO WAY

OBLIGATES US TO DO THE SURGERY.

Joan: THERE'S NO OBLIGATION,

JUST THAT YOU'LL KEEP IT UNDER

COVER.

Christian: GREAT.

Joan: OK. HERE IT IS.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE A

TWIN. BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE

WHAT I WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I

NEVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY. BUT

I DON'T HAVE A TWIN. I JUST HAVE

ME. SO, I WANT YOU TO PUT ME

BACK THE WAY I WOULD LOOK IF I

HAD NEVER BEEN JOAN RIVERS.

Christian: I'M CONFUSED.

ARE YOU ASKING US TO DO A

COMPLETE MAKEOVER THAT WOULD

RESTORE YOUR NATURAL APPEARANCE?

Joan: YES. YES. IT'LL BE CAREER

VIAGRA. I MEAN, I COULD BRING

BACK ALL THOSE JOKES I USED TO

DO ABOUT MYSELF BEFORE PLASTIC

SURGERY. I MEAN, I HAVE GREAT

JOKES. I WAS SO UGLY THAT IF I

WANTED TO MOON SOMEBODY, I'D

JUST SHOW THEM MY FACE, OR MY

BODY IS DROPPING SO FAST I COULD

HAVE A MAMMOGRAM AND A PEDICURE

AT THE SAME TIME.

Sean: MS. RIVERS, WITH ALL THE

WORK THAT YOU'VE HAD DONE, IT

SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY EXTREME

THING TO DO FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR

CAREER.

Joan: WELL, IT'S NOT JUST MY

CAREER. IT'S ALSO MY GRANDSON

COOPER. WE HAVE THE MOST AMAZING

RELATIONSHIP. IT'S PROBABLY THE

MOST HONEST RELATIONSHIP I'VE

EVER HAD WITH ANYBODY IN MY

WHOLE LIFE. HE LOVES ME EXACTLY

THE WAY I AM.

Sean: SO WHY CHANGE?

Joan: I'M A GODDAMN LIE.

LOOK, I KNOW I'M THE ONE THAT

BROUGHT PLASTIC SURGERY INTO THE

MAINSTREAM. I KNOW I'M THE ONE

THAT CONVINCED ALL THOSE

THOUSANDS OF HOUSEWIVES OUT

THERE, "IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR

FACE, THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT

IT. CHANGE IT." BUT NOW I WANT

TO SEND OUT A DIFFERENT MESSAGE.

MY GRANDSON IS...

HE'S SO PURE. HE'S SO HAPPY

WITH HIMSELF THE WAY HE IS.

AND I WANT HIM TO STAY THAT WAY.

I DON'T WANT HIM TO GROW UP

HATING THE THOUGHT THAT HE'S

GONNA GET OLDER. I DON'T WANT

HIM TO CARE IF HE GETS ACNE AT

20 OR HIS HAIR STARTS TO RECEDE

AT 40. I JUST WANT HIM TO KNOW

THERE'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED

OF. IT'S THE NATURAL ORDER OF

THINGS.

AND, BOY, IT'LL GET ME SOME

MAGAZINE COVER-- PEOPLE.

OH, MY GOD, BEFORE...AFTER.

NO ONE'S EVER DONE SOMETHING

LIKE THAT. IT'S GOLD.

AND I COULD USE A COVER. I

HAVEN'T HAD ONE SINCE 1994,

THOSE SONS OF BITCHES.

COME ON, WHAT ABOUT IT?

I AM OFFERING YOU THE MOTHER OF

ALL PLASTIC SURGERIES.

WILL YOU DO IT?

* AHH *

* MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL *

* MAKE ME

A PERFECT SOUL,

A PERFECT MIND,

A PERFECT FACE,

A PERFECT

LIE *

Matt: YOU NEVER SMILE ANYMORE.

TALK TO ME, AVA. TELL ME,

HOW CAN I MAKE YOU HAPPY?

Ava: I'LL NEVER BE HAPPY.

Matt: AREN'T WE HAPPY RIGHT NOW?

Ava: YOU'RE IN A WARM LITTLE

COCOON.

BUT ONCE WE LEAVE THE SAFETY OF

THIS NEST, THEY'LL ALWAYS BE

THERE, HARASSING US, JUDGING US.

TORMENTING US.

THEY'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

TO THEM, OUR RELATIONSHIP IS

UNNATURAL.

Matt: LET'S GO AWAY THEN.

LET'S GO AWAY AND START A NEW

LIFE TOGETHER.

LET'S GO TO PARIS.

Ava: MY LIFE IS HERE, MATT.

Matt: WE'LL EAT CROISSANTS ALL

DAY. WE'LL DRINK WINE.

WE'LL MAKE LOVE.

Ava: I CAN'T.

ADRIAN MIGHT COME BACK.

Matt: DO YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE?

Ava: I HAVE MEDICAL ISSUES.

Matt: WE'LL FIND A DOCTOR IN

PARIS. I'LL GET 3 MONTHS' OF

YOUR MEDICATIONS FROM MY DAD'S

OFFICE.

Ava: YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS AHEAD OF

YOU, MATT.

Matt: THERE ISN'T ONE WITHOUT

YOU.

YOU SMILED.

JUST SAY YES, AVA.

SAY YES.

Liz: MY GOD, WHEN IS THIS GONNA

END? 4 NEW VICTIMS THIS MONTH

ALONE.

Sean: THE CUTS ON HER FACE LOOK

WORSE THAN THE EYES.

Liz: HE'S GETTING BOLDER.

PROBABLY FEELS HE'S NOT GETTING

ENOUGH ATTENTION. YOU'RE THE ONE

STEALING HIS HEADLINES.

Sean: NOT BY CHOICE.

Rosa: THEN WHY ARE YOU FIXING

HIS WORK AGAIN, SEAN?

Sean: BECAUSE EVERY OTHER

PLASTIC SURGEON IN TOWN IS

AFRAID TO. IT'S MY MORAL

OBLIGATION. I'D STOP IT IF I

COULD, BUT I CAN'T. 15 BLADE.

Escobar: SEAN. HOW'S IT HANGING,

HOMES?

Sean: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

WITH THIS?

Escobar: YOU STARTED A WAR,

SEAN.

YOU'RE GONNA NEED MORE THAN A

SCALPEL TO FINISH IT.

HEY, SEXY. HOW'S THAT LEG?

Sean: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING

ABOUT?

Escobar: YOU AND THE CARVER,

BROTHER. REMEMBER WHAT HE SAID?

FIX HIS WORK AGAIN, HE'S COMING

BACK FOR YOU.

YOU ASKED HOW TO STOP IT.

I'M TELLING YOU.

CAP HIS ASS.

Sean: YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, KNOW I

CAN'T USE THIS THING. 15 BLADE.

Escobar: PUSSY.

[LATIN MUSIC PLAYING]

YOU KNOW, MAYBE WHAT YOU REALLY

NEED ARE SOME BALLS, BRO.

Sean: I'VE GOT BALLS. YOU KNOW

I DO. YOU'RE IN JAIL BECAUSE OF

ME.

Escobar: THAT WAS YOUR FINEST

HOUR, HUH? TRUTH IS, SEAN, I

MADE YOU A MAN.

Sean: YOU DIDN'T DO SHIT.

Escobar: I GAVE YOU THE GUTS TO

PULL A GUN. I GAVE YOU THE

STRENGTH TO RISK KILLING SOMEONE

TO SAVE YOURSELF, AND YOUR

FAMILY AND YOUR BUSINESS.

I GAVE YOU CHARACTER.

WHERE DID IT GO?

NOW WHAT'S WITH THIS MUSIC?

I HATE THIS SHIT.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

GOD, DO I LOVE THE EIGHTIES.

Sean: TURN THAT DOWN.

I CAN'T OPERATE UNDER THESE

CONDITIONS.

Escobar: HEY, YOU THINK FIXING

HER FACE IS GONNA MAKE

EVERYTHING BETTER?

YOU WANNA RESTORE REAL ORDER

TO THIS MESS, SEAN?

YOU GOTTA BE READY TO GO ONE ON

ONE WITH THE CARVER.

LIKE YOU DID WITH ME.

OH. I GUESS SHE NEEDS SOME MORE

GAS.

Sean: NO. I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN.

Escobar: YES, YOU WILL.

BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT A DEATH WISH.

SO DEPRESSED...OUR LITTLE SEAN.

YOU GOTTA TAKE THIS GUY OUT.

RESTORE THE ORDER AND KILL

THE CARVER.

Liz: KILL THE CARVER.

Escobar: DON'T TELL ME THIS GUY

SCARES YOU MORE THAN ME.

I'M GETTING JEALOUS.

Sean: SHUT UP!

Escobar: HA HA HA. MAKE ME.

Sean: GUN.

Escobar: GOOD. READY? AIM...

SHOOT!

Christian: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU

DOING?

Matt: UM, NOTHING.

I WAS JUST--OH...

Christian: TEMESTA?

YOU STEAL ANTI-ANXIETY PILLS?

Matt: LOOK, I'VE BEEN UPSET, OK?

AND I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE ASKING

FOR 'EM AND GOING THROUGH THE

THIRD DEGREE.

Christian: HELIX? GREAT.

DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S DANGEROUS

TO SELF-PRESCRIBE?

Matt: COME ON, MAN. THEY SELL

THIS SHIT AT SCHOOL TO EVERY--

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.

Christian: CLOMIPHENE CITRATE

HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH STRESS,

ASSHOLE.

I'M SICK OF YOUR GODDAMN LIES,

MATT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING

ON WITH YOU, BUT CLEARLY THESE

PILLS ARE NOT FOR YOU.

SO YOU TELL ME WHY YOU'RE

STEALING THESE DRUGS, OR I WILL

PERSONALLY BRING YOU TO THE COPS

AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO LOCK YOU

UP AND KEEP YOU THERE UNTIL

YOU'RE TOO OLD TO ENJOY THEM.

Matt: OK. FINE.

THEY'RE FOR AVA. I'M STOCKING

UP.

Christian: WHY?

Matt: 'CAUSE WE'RE GOING AWAY.

FOREVER.

Ava: GO AHEAD, TURN ME IN TO THE

POLICE. I'LL DENY EVERYTHING.

MATT WILL SUPPORT ME ENTIRELY,

AND ALL YOU'LL ACCOMPLISH IS

STARTING A CRIMINAL FILE FOR

YOUR VERY OWN SON.

Christian: MATT WON'T BE

ARRESTED. YOU WILL.

Ava: PHARMACEUTICAL DRUGS THEFT

IS A FELONY. DO YOUR RESEARCH

BEFORE YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE

WITH YOUR PATHETIC CHICKEN

LITTLE ACT.

VODKA ROCKS. IF MEMORY SERVES,

YOU DOWNED IT LAST TIME YOU WERE

HERE BARKING SIMILAR HOLLOW

THREATS. DRINK UP AND THEN GET

OUT.

HOW BARBARIC. DESPITE YOUR

DOCTOR'S DEGREE AND YOUR SLICK

VENEER OF SOPHISTICATION, WHEN

IT COMES TO WOMEN AND HOW TO

TREAT THEM, YOU'VE CRAWLED RIGHT

OUT OF A CAVE.

Christian: I'D WATCH MY MOUTH

IF I WERE YOU.

Ava: OR WHAT? YOU'LL HIT ME?

Christian: IF YOU WERE A MAN,

AFTER THE HELL YOU'VE CAUSED MY

FAMILY, YOU'D BE ON THE FLOOR.

Ava: AND YOU'D BE RIGHT ON TOP

OF ME, WOULDN'T YOU, CHRISTIAN?

'CAUSE YOU WANT ME, DON'T YOU?

Christian: YOU LUBRICATE ACID.

IF I STUCK MY DICK IN YOU,

IT WOULD SIZZLE OFF.

Ava: OH, IT WOULD SIZZLE, ALL

RIGHT. MATT'S NOT HERE.

BUT YOU KNEW THAT BEFORE

YOU WALKED IN HERE CARRYING YOUR

BIG STICK YOU'RE AFRAID TO

SWING. YOU'RE NOT UPSET MATT'S

SEEING ME. YOU'RE UPSET THAT

YOU'RE NOT.

Christian: YOU'RE CRAZY.

AND LET ME MAKE MYSELF CLEAR.

I'M NOT LEAVING THIS HELL HOUSE

UNTIL YOU AGREE TO STOP SEEING

MATT. I WILL KILL YOU BEFORE I

LET YOU TAKE HIM OUT OF THIS

COUNTRY.

Ava: SCREW THE PETTY THREATS.

YOU WANT ME TO STOP SEEING MATT?

THEN MAKE ME.

YOU WANT ME TO STOP?

THEN THERE'S ONLY ONE THING FOR

YOU TO DO, CHRISTIAN.

MAKE ME WANT YOU MORE.

CONQUER ME.

HMPH. YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS.

NEITHER DOES SEAN OR JULIA.

I HAVE THE POWER AND I'M

KEEPING IT.

OH, I SEE NOW. YOU'RE JUST LIKE

THE REST OF THEM.

THREATENING, KOWTOWED,

SPINELESS. TERRIFIED OF THE

UNCONDITIONAL.

A WOMAN WITH MENTAL AND SEXUAL

INTELLIGENCE.

YOU DISAPPOINT ME, CHRISTIAN.

IN THE END, YOU'RE ALL BARK AND

NO BITE.

Christian: BITE ME.

Ava: HOW HARD?

Christian: YOU STARTED IT.

YOU CAN FINISH IT.

Ava: NO. NO, NO. NO. NO! NOT

THAT.

Christian: YOU WANNA BE

CONQUERED? CONSIDER IT DONE.

Ava: OH!

AH...

WHAT'S WRONG?

AM I TOO MUCH OF A WOMAN FOR

YOU?

Detective: NO, SEAN. I CAN'T

ALLOW THIS.

Sean: IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE

HIM STOP.

Detective: WHEN?

Sean: I DON'T KNOW. END OF THE

WEEK? YOU PULL THE SECURITY

DETAIL OFF THE HOUSE, LET HIM

SEE THAT I'M VULNERABLE.

Detective: WE'RE WAITING INSIDE

THE HOUSE.

Sean: NO. HE'S SMART.

HE'LL SENSE THAT. WE DON'T TELL

ANYBODY--MY FAMILY, MY PARTNER,

NO ONE. I'LL BE ALONE WITH HIM.

JUST ME. AND ONCE HE THINKS HE'S

GOT WHAT HE WANTS, THEN YOU COME

IN.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Sean: UH, WE'RE SORT OF IN THE

MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE.

Christian: IT CAN WAIT.

Sean: THIS HAD BETTER BE

IMPORTANT, CHRISTIAN.

Christian: IT IS.

AVA'S A MAN.

Christian: ANYTHING?

Sean: STILL CHECKING.

Julia: ARE YOU CERTAIN SHE

DIDN'T JUST HAVE A NATURALLY

SHALLOW VAGINAL CANAL?

Christian: BELIEVE ME, THERE WAS

NOTHING NATURAL ABOUT IT.

Julia: YOU'RE PLASTIC SURGEONS.

IF THIS IS TRUE, I DON'T

UNDERSTAND WHY YOU COULDN'T TELL

RIGHT AWAY.

Christian: SHE'S A GODDAMN HOPE

DIAMOND OF TRANSSEXUALS, JULIA.

FLAWLESS IN EVERY WAY.

Sean: I CALLED ABE RUCKMAN AT

THE AVON SEXUAL REASSIGNMENT

CLINICS, STEPHANIE DUNCAN AT THE

GENE IDENTITY CENTER IN

COLORADO. NOBODY'S EVER HEARD OF

HER. AVA MOORE HAS NEVER

EXISTED.

Julia: AS A WOMAN YOU MEAN.

Sean: LOOK, JULIA, I THOUGHT IT

WAS A PREPOSTEROUS CONJECTURE,

TOO. THEN HE GAVE ME THE LIST OF

DRUGS MATT WAS STEALING FOR HER.

Julia: THIS IS GREEK TO ME.

Christian: THE COMPOUNDS

ARE VERY SPECIFIC.

SPIROLACTINE FOR BREAST,

NIPPLE DEVELOPMENT.

PREMARIN FOR VAGINAL DRYNESS,

ALL IN AMOUNTS AND CALIBRATIONS

WE'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN BEFORE.

IT'S QUITE BRILLIANT, REALLY.

Julia: NO PRESCRIPTION TO CHASE?

Sean: NOTHING.

Christian: WE'RE GONNA

HAVE TO TELL MATT.

Julia: NO. IF THIS IS TRUE

AND HE FINDS OUT, HE WILL NEVER

RECOVER FROM IT. HE'LL BE

SEXUALLY RUINED FOR THE REST

OF HIS LIFE.

AND IF HE FINDS OUT YOU SCREWED

HIS GIRLFRIEND, HE WILL NEVER

FORGIVE YOU FOR IT OR TRUST YOU

AGAIN, CHRISTIAN.

Christian: WHAT?! SHE JUMPED ME.

Technician: BEDROOM CAM'S

WORKIN' GREAT, SEAN. SO'S

THAT ONE IN THE DINING ROOM.

Christian: WHAT'S THAT FOR?

Sean: UH, IT'S JUST PART OF THE,

UM, NEW SECURITY SYSTEM I'M

PUTTING IN. THANKS.

WE'LL TALK LATER.

Technician: ALL RIGHT.

[SEAN SIGHS]

Sean: NOT ONE MATCH.

Julia: LET ME SEE.

Sean: WHAT'S CLEAR IS WE CAN'T

JUST KEEP BARGING INTO HER HOUSE

AND CONFRONTING HER WITHOUT

INDISPUTABLE PROOF. WE GET ONE

MORE CHANCE AT THIS BEFORE SHE

LEAVES TOWN AND TAKES HIM

WITH HER.

Julia: WELL, AT LEAST SHE THINKS

LIKE A WOMAN.

Sean: "HERMES"?

Julia: REMEMBER WHEN SUZANNE

HIRED A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR

TO FOLLOW HER HUSBAND? HE TOLD

HER ABOUT A WEBSITE WHERE YOU

COULD LOOK UP OTHER PEOPLE'S

CREDIT ACCOUNTS. AND AVA MOORE

HAS AN OUTSTANDING BALANCE AT

THE HERMES STORE IN VIENNA,

VIRGINIA.

Sean: HOW CLOSE IS BALTIMORE

TO VIENNA, VIRGINIA?

Christian: HOW OLD'S ADRIAN?

Julia: 17. MATT'S AGE.

Christian: WELL, 17 YEARS AGO,

IF YOU WANTED A STATE-OF-THE-

ART SEX CHANGE, THERE REALLY WAS

ONLY ONE PLACE IN THE WORLD

TO GO.

[JET PLANE ENGINE]

Liz: THE PERSON YOU NEED TO

SEE AT JOHNS HOPKINS IS CAROL,

FORMERLY CARLOS. SHE'S BEEN

WORKIN' THERE FOR 10 YEARS.

Sean: WHY DO YOU THINK

SHOWING UP IN PERSON

IS GONNA DO THE TRICK WHEN

LEAVING HER 5 MESSAGES DIDN'T?

Liz: SOPHIA SAYS THE

TRANSGENDERED COMMUNITY IS

INCREDIBLY PROTECTIVE. THEY'RE

NOT GONNA OPEN UP TO SOMEONE

THEY DON'T KNOW. THEY NEED TO

SEE YOU TO TRUST YOU.

Christian: WILL YOU EXPLAIN TO

ME HOW 2 COMPLETE STRANGERS CAN

BUILD A TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP

IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES?

Liz: OH, FOR GOD SAKES.

YOU'VE CHARMED HALF OF THE

FEMALE POPULATION OF MIAMI, NOT

TO MENTION A FEW TRANSSEXUALS.

Christian: ONE TRANSSEXUAL. AND

AVA FOOLED EVERYBODY.

Liz: NOT EVERYBODY. I KNEW THERE

WAS A REASON I WASN'T

ATTRACTED TO HER.

Sean: WHAT IF CHARM DOESN'T

WORK? ANY OTHER IDEAS?

Liz: BE EMPATHETIC. CONVINCE

HER THAT YOU'RE THERE

AS PROFESSIONALS TO HELP AVA,

THAT YOU'RE CONCERNED

ABOUT HER WELFARE.

Sean: I'M NOT SURE

I'M THAT GOOD A LIAR.

Christian: I AM. COME ON.

WE'RE LATE.

Salesman: THIS ONE HERE IS A

FILET TOUGH AND BAY WITH A

RUBBER HANDLE. REAL GOOD FOR

SECURIN' THE GRIP. A REAL NICE

CHOICE FOR BARBECUING OR

DRESSING MEATS.

THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE. A BUCK

NIGHTHAWK. VERY STEALTHY. COMES

WITH A NYLON SHEATH.

IT HAS A 652 STEEL DROP-POINT

BLADE FOR A REAL LONG LIFE...

NO MATTER WHAT THE ELEMENTS.

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS

FOR YOU TODAY?

Adrian: YES. WHICH ONE WOULD

YOU RECOMMEND IF I WANTED

TO GUT SOMETHING?

P.A.: DR. DAVIS, TELEPHONE,

PLEASE. DR. DAVIS, TELEPHONE,

PLEASE.

J.T.: I WENT INTO A MEN'S

REST ROOM YESTERDAY. I'VE NEVER

BEEN SO SCARED.

Carol: YOU'VE BEEN LIVING

AS A MAN NOW FOR 5 YEARS, J.T.

YOU'VE CERTAINLY USED THE MALE

REST ROOM SINCE YOUR SURGERY.

RIGHT? SO WHY THE FEAR?

J.T.: IT WAS A TROUGH URINAL.

Carol: MMM.

J.T.: WHERE ALL THE GUYS PEE

IN THE OPEN. AND WHAT IF THE GUY

NEXT TO ME SEES IT'S A BRAND-NEW

PENIS AND...HE WANTS

TO BEAT ME DOWN?

YOU KNOW?

Carol: SO YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU JUST NEED TO LEARN HOW

TO PROTECT YOURSELF, J.T.

J.T.: DOES NOTHING MAKE YOU

AFRAID, CAROL?

IS THERE NOTHING YOU FEAR?

Carol: [SIGHS] YEAH.

AIRPORTS.

MAKING IT THROUGH SECURITY

AS A WOMAN.

OH, MAN. SINCE 9/11, IT'S

LIKE...IT'S LIKE THEY SCRUTINIZE

SO CAREFULLY NOW.

I DON'T KNOW. IF YOU CAN MAKE IT

THROUGH THOSE SECURITY LINES

UNDETECTED AND ACCEPTED...IT'S

LIKE YOU'RE REAL.

YOU KNOW?

THIS IS A CLOSED MEETING.

CAN I HELP YOU?

Christian: WE'RE LOOKING FOR

CAROL NELSON IN ROOM 305.

Carol: AND YOU ARE?

Christian: I'M DR. CHRISTIAN

TROY. THIS IS MY PARTNER

SEAN McNAMARA.

WE'VE BEEN TRYING

TO REACH YOU. SOPHIA LOPEZ

GAVE US YOUR NAME.

Carol: [SNICKERS, SIGHS]

OK, LISTEN, UH, WHY DON'T WE

JUST TAKE A QUICK,

LITTLE BREAK. OK?

GO OUTSIDE, HAVE A LITTLE SNACK.

AND I'LL SEE YOU GUYS BACK

IN 10.

J.T.: THANK YOU, CAROL.

Carol: SO, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

Sean: WE'RE PLASTIC SURGEONS.

WE'VE FLOWN OUT FROM MIAMI

BECAUSE WE NEED MEDICAL

INFORMATION ON A PATIENT.

Carol: MMM. REALLY. WELL, I

GUESS AS SURGEONS AND FRIENDS OF

SOPHIA'S, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT

A GENDER REASSIGNMENT FILE IS

AS CLASSIFIED AS A NUCLEAR

WEAPONS PROGRAM.

Sean: WE ARE AWARE OF THAT, MS.

NELSON, AND WE'RE COMPLETELY

SYMPATHETIC.

Carol: OK, SO, WHO'S

THE PATIENT?

Sean: THE NAME SHE GOES BY NOW

IS AVA MOORE.

Christian: MY PARTNER SEAN WAS

THE SURGEON WHO PERFORMED

SOPHIA'S BOTTOM SURGERY. HE ALSO

SAVED HER FROM A BOTCHED

TRACHEAL SHAVE.

Carol: [SIGHS] WELL, THAT'S

TOUCHING. BUT IT DOESN'T CHANGE

A THING, GENTLEMEN. YOU SEE,

THESE PEOPLE HERE, THEY'RE

FRAGILE. SO WHY IS IT THAT I

SHOULD BETRAY THEIR CONFIDENCE?

IF AVA MOORE WANTS HER RECORDS,

WHY HASN'T SHE CONTACTED US?

Sean: BECAUSE AVA IS AFRAID.

17 YEARS AGO, WHEN SHE HAD HER

SURGERY, THERE WAS NO COMMUNITY.

Christian: SHE NEEDS HELP. SHE'S

HAD A WEAKENING OF THE

RECONSTRUCTED VAGINAL WALL, AND

THE BLADDER IS COMING THROUGH.

FOR US TO REPAIR IT, WE NEED TO

SEE HER RECORDS BECAUSE SHE

CLAIMS THAT SHE HAD AN ADVERSE

REACTION TO THE ANESTHESIA

IN HER ORIGINAL SURGERY.

WE'RE HERE TO HELP AVA,

MS. NELSON. WE'RE NOT INTO

TAKING RISKS WITH HER LIFE.

Carol: [SIGHS] WELL, YOU DON'T

WANT TO TALK TO ME. YOU WANT TO

TALK TO HER SURGEON. HE'S

RETIRED, AND HE'S TAKEN

HER RECORDS WITH HIM.

Christian: WHERE IS HE?

Sean: DR. BARETT MOORE?

Barett: I'VE BEEN EXPECTING

YOU, DOCTORS.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE MET MY WIFE.

Barett: POLLINATOR?

HYBRIDS. THE FIRST ORCHID

HYBRIDS WERE PRODUCED IN 1858,

AND SINCE THEN, THE PROCESS HAS

ACCELERATED. BUT BECAUSE OF

THEIR...ARTIFICIAL AND UNNATURAL

EVOLUTION, THEY'RE UNABLE TO

ATTRACT A SUITABLE POLLINATOR,

AND HAND POLLINIZATION IS SO

UNRELIABLE AND TIME-CONSUMING.

THERE ARE MYSTERIES TO BE

SOLVED.

Sean: YOU RETIRED FROM MEDICINE

TO BECOME A BOTANIST?

Barett: I'VE RETIRED FROM

MEDICINE BECAUSE MY WORK WAS

DONE. EVERY ORCHID HERE HAS BEEN

ALTERED, EACH ONE EVOLVING RIGHT

BEFORE OUR EYES INTO NEW

SPECIES, CHANGING THEIR VERY

IDENTITIES.

Christian: YOU MASTERED THE

TECHNIQUE ON HUMANS. WHY HAVE

YOU TURNED TO FLOWERS?

Barett: BECAUSE THEY NEVER

LEAVE. AND THEY RARELY

DISAPPOINT. HUMANS AND MEDICINE

ARE SO...FALLIBLE.

Sean: THERE WAS NOTHING FALLIBLE

IN THE TRANSFORMATION

OF AVA MOORE. SHE'S THE WORK OF

A MEDICAL GENIUS AT THE PEAK

OF HIS CAREER.

Christian: WHY STOP AT THE

HEIGHT OF YOUR SUCCESS?

Barett: AVERY TANNER IS

RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SUCCESS

THAT I HAD.

HE WAS A WALKER, WHICH IS TO SAY

THAT HE WAS AN ESCORT TO SOME OF

THE WEALTHIEST SOCIETY WOMEN

LOOKING FOR PHILANTHROPIC

CAUSES. HE WAS A VERY GOOD

LOOKING YOUNG MAN, AND UNUSUALLY

INTERESTED IN THE UNORTHODOX

WORK OF AN INEXPERIENCED NEW

DOCTOR. HE WOULD BRING THEM TO

MY FUND-RAISERS AND CHARM THEM

INTO GIVING LARGE DONATIONS FOR

A FIELD OF MEDICINE THAT THEY

BARELY UNDERSTOOD. AT FIRST,

I THOUGHT AS A GAY MAN HE WAS

DRAWN TO THE TRANSGENDER WORLD

BECAUSE OF THE POSSIBILITIES,

UH, FOR HIMSELF. BUT, UM...

HE WASN'T. HE WAS DRAWN TO ME.

WE BECAME CLOSE, BUT I COULDN'T

BE WITH HIM THE WAY THAT HE

WANTED ME TO.

THAT'S NOT MY NATURE.

ONE NIGHT AVERY CAME TO ME

IN DESPAIR...SUICIDAL...

AND HE ASKED IF I WERE TO

CHANGE HIM INTO A WOMAN,

COULD I LOVE HIM THEN, AND

I BELIEVED THAT I COULD.

THE RESULTING OPERATION WAS

PERFECT. THANK YOU, HARRY,

YOU MAY GO. TO AN OUTSIDER,

WE WERE LIKE ANY OTHER HAPPILY

MARRIED COUPLE, BUT ON THE

INSIDE, SEXUALLY, I...

I COULD NOT FORGET.

SHE THOUGHT THAT A CHILD MIGHT

NORMALIZE WHAT WASN'T, SO WE

AGREED THAT MY ASSISTANT WOULD

BE IMPREGNATED WITH MY SPERM AND

CARRY THE BABY TO TERM FOR US.

AFTER ADRIAN WAS BORN, THINGS

SEEMED TO BE MORE COMFORTABLE,

BUT SOON AFTER THEY

DETERIORATED. I COULDN'T GIVE

HER WHAT SHE WANTED. IT WASN'T

HER FAULT. I WAS THE FAILURE.

I COULDN'T SEE...HER.

I COULD ONLY SEE MY OWN WORK.

Sean: AND SO SHE LEFT?

Barett: I CAME HOME ONE DAY FROM

A CONFERENCE AND THEY WERE GONE.

AND I'VE NEVER HEARD

FROM HER SINCE.

HOW IS SHE?

Sean: SHE'S GIVEN UP

PHILANTHROPY FOR A CAREER

AS A LIFE COACH.

Barett: THE ULTIMATE CREATURE

OF TRANSFORMATION

TRANSFORMING OTHERS. WELL,

THERE IS SOME POETRY IN THAT,

DOCTORS, YOU HAVE TO ADMIT.

Christian: HER BEHAVIOR ISN'T

POETIC, IT'S PREDATORY.

Sean: AVA MOORE IS SLEEPING WITH

MY 17-YEAR-OLD SON...AND YOURS.

Barett: SLEEPING WITH JUVENILE

MALES MAKES SENSE. THEY'RE NOT

EXPERIENCED ENOUGH TO SPOT A

FRAUD. I HAD PLANNED ON ONE LAST

PROCEDURE TO GO IN, RECONSTRUCT

THE VAGINAL FLOOR, MAKE IT

LESS CONSTRICTED. I THOUGHT

MAYBE IT WOULD BRING HER SOME

SENSE OF PEACE, SOME CLOSURE,

BUT...I COULDN'T FIND HER.

Sean: IT WOULD HELP US IF WE

COULD SEE HER FILES.

Barett: YOU KNOW BETTER THAN

TO ASK THAT.

Christian: WE NEED TO CONFRONT

HER WITH MORE THAN JUST A STORY.

Sean: YOU COULDN'T SAVE

YOUR SON FROM HER, DR. MOORE.

AT LEAST HELP ME SAVE MINE.

Sean: HEY, CAN I COME IN?

Julia: PLEASE.

Sean: I, UH, PROBABLY

SHOULD HAVE CALLED FIRST.

IS YOUR FRIEND HERE?

Julia: KEVIN? OH, NO, HE'S

TEACHING. UM, DID YOU GET IT?

Sean: YEAH. AND, UH, I BROUGHT

YOU SOMETHING ELSE JUST IN CASE.

YOU SHOULDN'T NEED IT, BUT FOR

WHEN KEVIN ISN'T HERE.

Julia: YOU'VE GOT TO STOP

DOING THIS.

Sean: DOING WHAT?

Julia: STOPPING BY TO GIVE ME

MACE, ASKING ME TO STAY OVER.

YOU DON'T NEED TO PROTECT ME.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT

WAS ATTACKED.

Sean: WE MAY BE SEPARATED,

BUT I'M STILL ALLOWED TO WORRY

ABOUT YOU, AREN'T I?

Julia: I'M THE ONE WHO IS

WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

Sean: WHY? I'M FINE.

Julia: DON'T DO ANYTHING SILLY

TO PROVE THAT YOU'RE BRAVE.

YOUR COURAGE HAS ALREADY

BEEN DOCUMENTED.

DID MATT AGREE TO SEE YOU?

Sean: WE'RE MEETING HIM

FOR LUNCH.

Julia: GOOD. NOW, UH, BE DIRECT

BUT GENTLE.

Sean: ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO

HANDLE AVA ON YOUR OWN?

Julia: YEAH. I'M THE ONE WHO GOT

HER INTO HIS LIFE, I SHOULD BE

THE ONE TO GET HER OUT.

Sean: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME

SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU AS JULIA

INSTEAD OF MY WIFE.

I LIKE IT.

Ava: WHO ELSE KNOWS ABOUT THIS?

Julia: THE THREE OF US--SEAN,

CHRISTIAN, AND MYSELF.

Ava: ANGRY VILLAGERS WITH

TORCHES HERE TO DRIVE OUT

THE MONSTER THE DOCTOR MADE.

Julia: I DON'T THINK YOU'RE

A MONSTER, AVA. I THINK YOU'RE

A SAD, LONELY INDIVIDUAL WHO

DOES MONSTROUS SELFISH ACTS

TO COPE WITH CONFLICT.

Ava: BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR CHOICE

OF PRONOUNS, JULIA. HAVE SOME

GODDAMN RESPECT! I AM A WOMAN. I

DON'T CARE WHAT THIS FILE SAYS.

Julia: BREAK UP WITH MY SON AND

GET OUT OF OUR LIVES.

Ava: OR WHAT?

Julia: OR I'LL TELL HIM THE

TRUTH ABOUT YOU, AND THEN YOUR

WELL-KEPT SECRET WILL BE OUT.

AS YOU KNOW, SECRETS HAVE A WAY

OF SPREADING.

DID YOU EVER LOVE HIM?

Ava: I LOVED THAT HE LOVED ME.

Matt: LOOK, I LOVE HER, ALL

RIGHT? AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE

HER, SO IF THIS IS YET ANOTHER

INTERVENTION WHERE YOU BOTH TRY

TO MAKE ME SEE HER FOR WHAT SHE

IS, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.

I DO SEE HER, COMPLETELY,

WHICH CLEARLY YOU DON'T.

Sean: WE'RE DONE WITH THE

THREATS, MATT. IT'S NOT WHY

WE'RE HERE.

Christian: WE'RE HERE TO

SUPPORT YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.

Sean: WE'LL RESPECT YOUR CHOICE

WHATEVER THAT MAY BE.

Matt: MY CHOICE IS HER.

WE'RE LEAVING NEXT WEEK.

Julia: YOU HAVE UNTIL THE

BEGINNING OF NEXT WEEK

TO BREAK IT OFF AND LEAVE.

Christian: AND IF YOU NEED

ANYTHING--MONEY, HELP FINDING A

PLACE FOR YOU AND AVA TO LIVE--

WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE'RE

HERE FOR YOU.

Matt: YOU'RE SERIOUS? I DON'T

BELIEVE YOU. WHY ARE YOU DOING

THIS NOW? WHAT HAPPENED?

Sean: WHAT HAPPENED IS YOU GREW

UP. YOU'RE NOT A BOY NOW, MATT,

YOU'RE A MAN, AND WE'RE

TREATING YOU LIKE ONE.

Christian: IF IT WORKS OUT

WITH AVA AND YOU FIND A COOL

JOB THAT YOU LOVE OVER THERE IN

GAY PAREE, WELL, THAT'S GREAT.

Matt: AND IF IT DOESN'T?

Sean: THEN YOU'LL HURT LIKE

HELL, BUT YOU HAVE SOMEPLACE YOU

CAN COME HOME TO IF YOU WANT.

Ava: I DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE ELSE

TO GO. I DON'T HAVE ADRIAN,

I HAVE NO ONE.

Julia: YOU HAVE YOURSELF.

AND FROM WHAT I'VE WITNESSED,

YOU'RE A SURVIVOR, AVA. AND

SURVIVORS REINVENT THEMSELVES.

THEY RISE FROM THE ASHES OF

THEIR FAILURES LIKE PHOENIXES

AND FLY OFF TO THEIR NEXT

DESTINATION.

Ava: WELL, JULIA, WE'VE COME

FULL CIRCLE, HAVEN'T WE?

YOU'RE COACHING ME NOW.

Julia: THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER

IS, AVA, YOU REALLY WERE A GOOD

LIFE COACH. HONEY, IF IT WASN'T

FOR YOU AND THE TRUTHS THAT YOU

FORCED...I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO

STAND UP TO YOU NOW.

Ava: I'M NOT LEAVING THAT

EASILY, JULIA. IF YOU WANT ME

GONE, THEN YOU TALK TO YOUR

DOCTORS.

Julia: WHAT DO YOU WANT THEM

TO DO?

Ava: FINISH ME. CORRECT THE ONE

FLAW THAT GAVE ME AWAY SO I'M

NEVER FOUND OUT AGAIN.

[MACHINE BEEPING]

Sean: THIS OPERATION WILL TAKE

UNDER AN HOUR. YOU'LL BE UP AND

ON YOUR FEET TOMORROW.

Ava: THE LAST VAGINOPLASTY HURT

LIKE HELL. WILL THIS ONE?

Christian: THE FINAL EXPANDER

CAUSES MINIMAL DISCOMFORT.

THE DITCH WAS ALREADY DUG

PRETTY DEEP, JUST NOT DEEP

ENOUGH FOR ME.

Ava: YOU THINK THIS IS PRETTY

FUNNY, DON'T YOU?

I'M A DESPICABLE JOKE TO YOU.

Christian: ACTUALLY, AVA,

I THINK YOU'RE ONE OF THE

MOST FASCINATING PEOPLE

I'VE EVER MET.

Ava: HAVE YOU DONE MANY OF THESE

TYPES OF SURGERIES BEFORE?

Sean: NO. IT'S WHY WE BROUGHT IN

AN EXPERT.

Barett: HELLO, AVA.

YOU ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL

THAN EVER.

HOW IS ADRIAN?

Ava: LIKE YOU.

SMART, BEAUTIFUL, CONFLICTED.

Barett: I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HIM?

Ava: I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS...

[ROLLING STONES' WILD HORSES

PLAYING]

OR IF HE'LL EVER COME HOME.

>> * CHILDHOOD LIVING

Ava: I NEED TO BE DONE WITH

THIS, BARETT. I CAN'T KEEP

RUNNING ANYMORE.

Barett: DON'T WORRY.

THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. TO...

FINISH WHAT I STARTED.

>> * I BOUGHT THEM FOR YOU,

GRACELESS LADY,

YOU KNOW WHO I AM *

Liz: COUNT BACK FROM 10 FOR ME.

>> * YOU KNOW I CAN'T LET YOU *

Ava: 10, 9, 8, 7...

>> * WILD HORSES

COULDN'T DRAG ME AWAY,

WILD, WILD HORSES *

Matt: AVA, I GOT 'EM.

>> * COULDN'T DRAG ME AWAY *

Matt: HEY, I'VE GOT THEM!

[VACUUM STOPS]

Ava: WHAT?

Matt: I WAS JUST SAYING

I GOT 'EM--2 FIRST-CLASS

TICKETS TO PARIS.

Ava: GREAT. WELL, I'M GUESSING

YOU PUT THE $10,000 CHARGE

ON MY CREDIT CARD.

Matt: THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID TO

DO.

Ava: YEAH, WELL, I THOUGHT,

I DON'T KNOW, YOU MIGHT SURPRISE

ME AND FIND A WAY TO PAY FOR

THEM YOURSELF.

Matt: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG

WITH YOU?

Ava: YOU! YOU EAT CRAP LIKE A

GRUBBY LITTLE SLOB ON A

$25-A-YARD COUCH AND THEN EXPECT

MOMMY TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS AND

I'M SICK OF IT!

Matt: I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN

TO MAKE A MESS.

Ava: BUT YOU DID, MATT, AND I

GET IT. BOYS MAKE MESSES. THEY

LEAVE WATERMARKS ON THE FRENCH

LACQUER DINING TABLE. THEY DON'T

DO THEIR OWN LAUNDRY. THEY'RE

HELPLESS UNTIL THEY GO OFF TO

COLLEGE AND LEARN HOW TO BE

SELF-SUFFICIENT.

Matt: BUT I'M NOT GOING OFF TO

COLLEGE, I'M GOING OFF WITH YOU.

Ava: OH, CHRIST!

Matt: WHAT?!

Ava: ANOTHER WATERMARK!

DID YOU DO THIS, MATT?

Matt: I DON'T KNOW, AVA,

ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD?!

LOOK, YOU'RE STRESSED AND YOU'RE

UPSET, OK? I GET IT. YOU JUST

NEED A VACATION. LOOK, I, UH...

I GOT US A TRAVEL BACKGAMMON SET

AND A--A CROSSWORD PUZZLE BOOK.

HMM?

Ava: I DON'T LIKE BACKGAMMON,

AND I'M NOT GOING TO PARIS WITH

YOU. IT'S SUCH A CLICHE ANYWAY.

Matt: WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THE

TIME I LEFT AND NOW?

Ava: THIS JUST DOESN'T WORK FOR

ME, MATT. I WAS A MOTHER ONCE,

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DO IT

ALL OVER AGAIN WITH YOU.

THE PRETENSE THAT YOU'RE A MAN

WHEN YOU'RE NOT HAS BECOME

WEARISOME FOR ME.

I NEED A GENUINE COMPANION.

THERE ARE THINGS I'VE BEEN

DENYING MYSELF, THINGS THAT COME

WITH AGE, THINGS YOU CAN'T

POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND.

Matt: YOU'RE AFRAID OF THE

UNKNOWN, OK? I GET IT. BUT WE

HAVE GOT TO BE UNITED, JUST LIKE

WE ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. WE HAVE GOT

TO BE STRONG. OK?

Ava: NO. NO, YOU NEED TO BE

STRONG, MATT. WE HAD A FLING,

AND IT WAS CHARMING. WE DON'T

HAVE THE COMPONENTS TO BUILD

FROM THAT, TO CREATE

A RELATIONSHIP OUT OF MERE

PHYSICAL HEAT. IT WAS

INEVITABLE. THE NATURAL ORDER.

ONE DAY YOU'LL SEE THAT.

DO YOU HAVE ANY CLOTHES LEFT IN

THE HOUSE?

Matt: NO. EVERYTHING'S IN HERE.

Ava: GOOD. BE A GOOD BOY, TURN

AROUND, AND WALK OUT THE DOOR.

DID YOU HEAR ME?! LEAVE, MATT,

IT'S OVER!

Joan: THIS IS COMPLETELY

UNNECESSARY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO

SHOW ME THIS.

Christian: WE'D FEEL MORE

COMFORTABLE KNOWING THAT YOU

WERE ENTERING THIS PROCEDURE

FULLY INFORMED, THAT'S ALL.

Joan: YES, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME

TO KEEP SCHLEPPING DOWN HERE FOR

VISUAL AIDS.

Sean: THERE ARE SEVERAL

RECONSTRUCTIVE PROCEDURES

INVOLVED WE JUST WANTED YOU TO

BE AWARE OF. TAKE A LOOK.

WE'D START BY INSERTING A

BALLOON-LIKE DEVICE, A TISSUE

EXPANDER, IN VARIOUS AREAS WHERE

THE SKIN HAS BEEN TIGHTENED,

ALLOWING IT TO STRETCH AND

ASSUME A MORE NATURAL HANG.

WE'D ALSO DO A FLAP SURGERY,

WHERE WE TAKE TISSUE AND FAT

MUSCLE FROM YOUR BACK AND TUNNEL

IT TO THE FRONT SO YOUR BREASTS

COULD REGAIN THEIR

AGE-APPROPRIATE FULLNESS

AND SLOPE.

Joan: IN OTHER WORDS, I'LL HAVE

SAGGY BAD GIRLS. I GET IT, OK,

I GET IT.

Christian: WE'D DO SEVERAL SKIN

GRAFTS WHICH WOULD ALSO--

Joan: OH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,

BLAH, BLAH. PLEASE, I'M GONNA BE

LATE FOR Q.V.C. JUST CUT TO

THE CHASE.

Sean: OF COURSE.

Joan: OOH, WHO'S THAT?

Christian: THAT'S YOU,

MISS RIVERS. WHAT YOU WOULD LOOK

LIKE NOW IF YOU HAD NOTHING

DONE.

Joan: YEAH, VERY FUNNY.

HA, HA, HA. WHO IS THAT?

Sean: THESE COMPUTER GENERATED

IMAGES ARE ONLY AN APPROXIMATION

OF THE NATURAL AGING PROCESS.

Joan: THAT HAG LOOKS LIKE E.T.

Christian: IT IS WHAT YOU

ASKED FOR.

Joan: NO, NO, IT IS NOT WHAT I

ASKED FOR. I ASKED FOR SOMEONE

WHO'D LOOK LIKE A GRANDMOTHER

FOR COOPER, NOT SOME PIECE OF

SHIT. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM HERE?

THE KID LOVES ME. I MAKE HIM

LAUGH. HE RUNS TO ME. IF I LOOK

LIKE THAT, HE'D RUN THE OTHER

WAY.

Sean: WE THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO

BE NATURAL.

Joan: YOU KNOW WHAT'S NATURAL?

EVOLUTION. COOPER DOESN'T LIVE

IN THE STONE AGE. HE LIVES IN

THE YEAR 2004. AND WE HAVE

TWEEZERS, AND WE HAVE

ALPHA HYDROXY ACIDS, AND WE HAVE

PLASTIC SURGERY. AND THANK GOD,

BECAUSE, MY GOD, IF I LOOKED

LIKE THAT NOW, CAN YOU IMAGINE

WHAT I'D LOOK LIKE AT 90? HO!

Christian: I'M GLAD WE CAUGHT

THIS EARLY.

Joan: OH, ME, TOO. THANK YOU

BOTH SO VERY MUCH FOR GIVING ME

THE HEADS UP. WHOA!

OH, AND PUT ME DOWN TOMORROW FOR

ANOTHER LIFT. WHAT THE HELL,

I'M IN TOWN ANYHOW. IT'LL KILL

A COUPLE HOURS.

Sean: SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING

TONIGHT?

Christian: APPARENTLY, PLANNING

MISS RIVERS' TUCK.

Sean: JULIA'S COMING BY WITH

THE KIDS. MATT'S STAYING WITH

HER. HE'S NOT DOING TOO WELL

SINCE THE AVA BREAK UP. CAN YOU

COME BY AND BREAK BREAD WITH THE

FAMILY?

Christian: I DIDN'T KNOW JULIA

WANTED ME BACK IN THE FAMILY

AFTER EVERYTHING THAT'S

HAPPENED.

Sean: LOOK, WE TOLD MATT HE'D

HAVE A SAFE PLACE TO LAND. NO

MATTER WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON,

ALL OF US NEED TO FOLLOW

THROUGH.

Adrian: HI, MOM.

Ava: OH, MY GOD. ADRIAN.

I WAS SO WORRIED. WHERE HAVE YOU

BEEN?

Adrian: SPYING ON EMPTY HOUSE

BOATS. YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE

CUNANAN THING. WHAT DO YOU CARE?

Ava: OH, I DO CARE, DEEPLY.

Adrian: YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?

Ava: PARIS. AND YOU'RE COMING

WITH ME.

Adrian: YOU, ME AND MATT, HUH?

WE'D MAKE QUITE A SIGHT,

WOULDN'T WE?

Ava: NO, NO. I ENDED IT WITH

MATT. IT'S OVER.

Adrian: YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK,

MOM? I THINK HE DUMPED YOU.

I THINK HE DUMPED YOU, AND YOU

COULDN'T TAKE IT BECAUSE YOU

DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE LOSING

ANYTHING. SO, NOW YOU KNOW WHAT

YOU'RE DOING, MOM? YOU'RE

RUNNING AWAY FROM US ALL, 'CAUSE

THAT'S THE ONLY THING YOU KNOW

HOW TO DO.

Ava: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE

FOREVER, BUT NOW WE CAN MAKE

A FRESH START TOGETHER.

Adrian: THERE ARE NO MORE FRESH

STARTS! EVERYTHING IS ROTTEN TO

THE CORE.

Ava: OK. JUST COME WITH ME, OK?

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT ALL ON

THE PLANE. LOOK, I'VE GOT 2

TICKETS. IT'LL BE--IT'LL BE JUST

THE TWO OF US, LIKE YOU'VE

ALWAYS WANTED.

JUST YOU AND ME, ADRIAN.

EVERYTHING ELSE GOES AWAY.

Adrian: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

AND THAT'S WHAT KILLS ME.

[STABBING]

Ava: NO.

Adrian: I LOVE YOU.

Ava: NO.

Adrian: I NEEDED TO BE SURE

YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN.

Ava: NO. NO. NO. NO.

NO.

NO! NO!!

[SOBBING]

>> * YOU BRUISE ME,

WE BOTH BRUISE

TOO EASILY,

TOO EASILY

TO LET IT SHOW,

I LOVE YOU,

AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW,

ALL MY PLANS

ARE UNSURE,

ALL MY PLANS

DEPEND ON YOU,

DEPEND ON YOU

TO HELP THEM GROW *

Sean: I LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW.

Julia: I LOVE YOU, TOO. ALWAYS.

>> * AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW,

WHEN THE SINGER'S GONE,

LET THE SONG GO ON *

Christian: I'LL HELP YOU

CLEAN UP.

>> * BUT THE ENDING

ALWAYS COMES AT LAST,

ENDINGS ALWAYS

COME TOO FAST *

Christian: SO, I'LL SEE YOU

TOMORROW?

>> * THEY COME TOO FAST,

BUT THEY PASS TOO SLOW,

I LOVE YOU,

AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW *

Christian: MAKE SURE YOU LOCK

THIS DOOR.

>> * WHEN THE SINGER'S GONE,

LET THE SONG GO ON,

IT'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN

THE DARKNESS AND THE DAWN,

THEY SAY IN THE DARKEST NIGHT,

THERE'S A LIGHT BEYOND,

BUT THE ENDING ALWAYS

COMES AT LAST,

ENDINGS ALWAYS

COME TOO FAST,

THEY COME TOO FAST,

BUT THEY PASS TOO SLOW,

I LOVE YOU,

AND THAT'S ALL

I KNOW,

THAT'S ALL I KNOW,

THAT'S ALL I KNOW,

OH, OH,

OH, OH,

OH *

Guard: EXCUSE ME, MA'AM?

COULD YOU TAKE OFF YOUR

SUNGLASSES, PLEASE?

CAN I SEE YOUR PASSPORT, PLEASE?

THANK YOU, MISS MOORE.

HAVE A NICE FLIGHT.

Ava: THANK YOU.

>> * WHEN THE SINGER'S GONE,

LET THE SONG GO ON,

IT'S A FINE LINE

BETWEEN THE DARKNESS

AND THE DAWN,

THEY SAY IN THE DARKEST NIGHT,

THERE'S A LIGHT BEYOND,

BUT THE ENDING ALWAYS

COMES AT LAST,

ENDINGS ALWAYS COME TOO FAST,

THEY COME TOO FAST,

BUT THEY PASS TOO SLOW,

I LOVE YOU,

AND THAT'S ALL

I KNOW,

THAT'S ALL I KNOW,

THAT'S ALL I KNOW,

OH, OH, OH,

OH, OH,

OH *

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org]