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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,786 --> 00:00:05,603 - Please. - All right, my quiz hounds! 2 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,670 Who's ready for a battle of the brains?! 3 00:00:07,673 --> 00:00:10,434 Whoo-hoo! Yeah! 4 00:00:10,436 --> 00:00:12,736 Why are we doing this? Can't we just drink? 5 00:00:12,738 --> 00:00:14,677 The prize is a five-coin bar tab, 6 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,042 and our only competition is these idiots. 7 00:00:17,045 --> 00:00:18,711 Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! 8 00:00:18,713 --> 00:00:20,207 Yeah! 9 00:00:20,209 --> 00:00:21,709 We can't lose! 10 00:00:21,711 --> 00:00:24,879 Okay, before we start, just a little reminder about cheating. 11 00:00:24,882 --> 00:00:26,181 Use the honor system, guys. 12 00:00:26,183 --> 00:00:28,283 No looking up answers on The Oracle. 13 00:00:28,286 --> 00:00:30,902 I see all! 14 00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:32,022 All right, man. 15 00:00:32,024 --> 00:00:35,305 Okay, the first category is... 16 00:00:35,308 --> 00:00:36,427 political theory. 17 00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:38,230 Yes! Yeah, we got this. 18 00:00:38,232 --> 00:00:39,865 Which hunky emperor 19 00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:43,436 is well known for his juicy, trashy ass? 20 00:00:43,439 --> 00:00:44,673 What? 21 00:00:44,675 --> 00:00:46,307 - St. Maxwell the Thicc! - St. Maxwell the Thicc! 22 00:00:46,310 --> 00:00:47,412 Correct! 23 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:48,677 That's 100 points to the Brew-Dog Crew! 24 00:00:49,981 --> 00:00:52,248 Okay, there was no intellectual merit 25 00:00:52,251 --> 00:00:53,217 to that question. 26 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,152 Oh, so, you're an intellectual now? 27 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,356 'Cause last time I checked, 28 00:00:56,358 --> 00:00:59,624 you were still fully shoveling people's shit for a living. 29 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:02,728 Al, this is dumb. You don't need to prove yourself to these morons. 30 00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:03,730 Do a science question. 31 00:01:03,732 --> 00:01:05,198 - Okay. - Okay, fine. 32 00:01:05,201 --> 00:01:08,269 Which scientific theory explains the phenomenon 33 00:01:08,272 --> 00:01:09,405 in which every 18 months, 34 00:01:09,407 --> 00:01:12,441 the sun is blacked out in the midday sky? 35 00:01:12,444 --> 00:01:15,445 Oh! Anaxagoras' theory of the solar eclipse! 36 00:01:15,448 --> 00:01:16,814 - Wrong. - What?! 37 00:01:16,816 --> 00:01:18,382 Brew-Dog Crew, would you like to venture a guess? 38 00:01:18,385 --> 00:01:20,196 - If you think you know it... - Okay, I don't know. 39 00:01:20,198 --> 00:01:21,987 Uh, well... 40 00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:25,758 You know, sometimes, uh, the devil gets horny 41 00:01:25,761 --> 00:01:28,329 for the sun 'cause they're both made of fire. 42 00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:30,599 Well, some... sometimes he... He flies up there and he... 43 00:01:30,602 --> 00:01:33,135 And he [BLEEP] the sun so hard that all the fire in it... 44 00:01:33,137 --> 00:01:34,737 It goes out. 45 00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:36,406 - Correct! - Aw! 46 00:01:38,578 --> 00:01:39,844 Come on! 47 00:01:39,847 --> 00:01:41,780 That's 100 points to the Brew-Dog Crew! 48 00:01:41,782 --> 00:01:43,349 - Whoo! - I think it's pretty clear 49 00:01:43,352 --> 00:01:46,186 who the smartest people in Lower Murkford are. 50 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:49,023 - Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! - Yeah! 51 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:55,030 ♪ I've gone down that road again ♪ 52 00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:57,000 ♪ I've been there before ♪ 53 00:01:57,003 --> 00:01:59,470 ♪ Though want to know more ♪ 54 00:01:59,473 --> 00:02:02,240 ♪ It's always been ♪ 55 00:02:09,619 --> 00:02:16,991 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 56 00:02:24,539 --> 00:02:26,606 Boy, I gotta say, honey, 57 00:02:26,608 --> 00:02:31,377 that parking brake you invented for our cart is brilliant. 58 00:02:31,381 --> 00:02:34,082 And the beauty of it is you can't even see it. 59 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:37,687 You know what's funny... No one will ever know 60 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,548 what a smart idea you had. 61 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:43,194 Yeah. No one. 62 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,431 Ohh! 63 00:02:49,838 --> 00:02:52,906 Excuse me. Excuse me. Coming through. 64 00:02:52,909 --> 00:02:54,108 What happened? 65 00:02:54,111 --> 00:02:56,011 Oh, my God, it was a freak accident. 66 00:02:56,013 --> 00:02:58,480 Ted was just, like, minding his own business, 67 00:02:58,483 --> 00:02:59,682 pulling the horse's tail, 68 00:02:59,685 --> 00:03:01,251 screaming, "Yucca, yucca, yucca," 69 00:03:01,253 --> 00:03:03,420 when out of nowhere, the horse kicked him in the face. 70 00:03:05,692 --> 00:03:10,261 Pretty bad wound. I should... apply some pressure. 71 00:03:10,265 --> 00:03:12,466 Oh, stop. Get out of the way. 72 00:03:12,469 --> 00:03:13,534 Let the doctor handle it. 73 00:03:13,536 --> 00:03:15,678 Looks like she's already got it covered. 74 00:03:20,645 --> 00:03:21,911 Dr. Goodman. 75 00:03:21,914 --> 00:03:23,247 Alexandra. 76 00:03:23,249 --> 00:03:25,449 I was just trying to stanch the blood flow. 77 00:03:25,452 --> 00:03:27,334 Yeah? Where'd you learn how to do that? 78 00:03:27,336 --> 00:03:29,321 Oh, uh, well, I found a couple pages 79 00:03:29,324 --> 00:03:31,324 of an old medical textbook in a garbage dump. 80 00:03:31,326 --> 00:03:33,726 So I guess I just picked up a thing or two. 81 00:03:33,729 --> 00:03:35,596 You know, we could use a smart person like you 82 00:03:35,599 --> 00:03:37,031 at the medical center. 83 00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,875 Would you be interested in a job? 84 00:03:42,441 --> 00:03:44,007 I think I would. 85 00:03:44,009 --> 00:03:47,135 Well, in that case, welcome aboard, doctor. 86 00:03:53,021 --> 00:03:54,420 - You called for me? - Yes! 87 00:03:54,423 --> 00:03:57,424 We have an emergency. Henry the Duck has escaped! 88 00:03:57,427 --> 00:03:58,627 We have to find him. 89 00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:01,062 Summon the Royal Army, tell them to search the Earth! 90 00:04:01,065 --> 00:04:03,132 Uh, you own over a hundred ducks, buddy. 91 00:04:03,134 --> 00:04:04,734 Just play with one of the other ones. 92 00:04:04,737 --> 00:04:07,137 No, but I want that one! 93 00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:09,374 Why can't I have this one thing?! 94 00:04:09,376 --> 00:04:11,876 I ask for so little! 95 00:04:13,715 --> 00:04:17,250 Prince, the answer is no, okay? 96 00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,089 I've run off! 97 00:04:21,091 --> 00:04:23,358 Ugh! Damn it! 98 00:04:23,361 --> 00:04:26,863 Oh, Mr. Worm, you're my only friend. 99 00:04:33,353 --> 00:04:34,486 Welp, 100 00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:37,343 back to being alone and having nothing. 101 00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:55,225 Wow! 102 00:04:56,638 --> 00:04:59,072 I can't believe it. 103 00:04:59,075 --> 00:05:02,309 My daughter the doctor. I'm so proud. 104 00:05:02,312 --> 00:05:03,879 Thanks, Dad. 105 00:05:03,882 --> 00:05:05,915 Gotta say, I'm kinda nervous. 106 00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:06,849 What if I fail? 107 00:05:06,851 --> 00:05:08,150 At least you're trying. 108 00:05:08,153 --> 00:05:10,320 Most people in this town just punch the clock, 109 00:05:10,323 --> 00:05:12,757 but you're doing something you believe in. 110 00:05:12,759 --> 00:05:14,000 Thanks, Mags. 111 00:05:14,695 --> 00:05:17,504 Okay. Here I go. 112 00:05:22,205 --> 00:05:23,537 Go, Doctor! Go, Doctor! 113 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:24,539 She's a doctor. 114 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,241 - Dr. Al! - Her name's Al. 115 00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:27,810 My daughter's a doctor. 116 00:05:27,812 --> 00:05:30,013 Her name is Dr. Al! 117 00:05:30,016 --> 00:05:31,382 Welcome, Mr. Shoemaker. 118 00:05:31,384 --> 00:05:33,284 This is my colleague, Dr. Alexandra. 119 00:05:33,287 --> 00:05:34,819 - Hello. - Hello. 120 00:05:34,821 --> 00:05:36,187 What seems to be the problem? 121 00:05:36,190 --> 00:05:38,658 Well, I've had this stuffy nose 122 00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:39,959 for the last few days, now. 123 00:05:39,962 --> 00:05:43,297 Aha! That's a very common ailment. 124 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,900 Typical treatment for stuffiness of the nose region 125 00:05:45,903 --> 00:05:50,172 is we will have put leaches all over your penis, 126 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:53,710 up and down, all over it, and your testicles, too. 127 00:05:53,713 --> 00:05:58,649 Uh, and that will distract the mucus fairies, 128 00:05:58,653 --> 00:06:01,688 uh, from their dancing and their stomping. 129 00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:04,483 And you have to drink your pee. 130 00:06:05,362 --> 00:06:07,128 - My own pee? - Yes. 131 00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:09,164 Oh. How much? 132 00:06:09,167 --> 00:06:10,566 All of it. 133 00:06:10,568 --> 00:06:12,468 Don't drop a drip. Everything that comes out, 134 00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:14,004 just stick it right back in your mouth. 135 00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:15,706 In fact, you'd be best suited to just kick your legs 136 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,042 over your head and piss in your mouth 137 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,945 for the rest of your life. 138 00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:21,088 Huh. 139 00:06:21,516 --> 00:06:22,716 All right. 140 00:06:22,718 --> 00:06:24,918 All right. Consider yourself doctored. 141 00:06:25,955 --> 00:06:27,989 Uh, Dr. Goodman? 142 00:06:27,992 --> 00:06:29,175 I'm sorry to interrupt. 143 00:06:29,177 --> 00:06:33,495 Um, are you sure that this is the best procedure 144 00:06:33,499 --> 00:06:35,566 for a stuffy nose? I... 145 00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:40,338 Who's the doctor here? 146 00:06:40,341 --> 00:06:41,874 Where is he? 147 00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:43,442 It's my first day. I... 148 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,621 Yeah. Can I consult with you in private, Dr. Alexandra? 149 00:06:47,137 --> 00:06:48,166 Yeah. 150 00:06:49,747 --> 00:06:51,295 Just relax. 151 00:07:00,223 --> 00:07:02,392 I have no idea what I'm doing. 152 00:07:02,549 --> 00:07:03,546 What? 153 00:07:03,571 --> 00:07:05,204 I don't know what I'm doing. 154 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,150 What? 155 00:07:08,812 --> 00:07:11,646 Help me! 156 00:07:12,987 --> 00:07:14,253 Okay. Just... Okay. 157 00:07:14,255 --> 00:07:15,387 Just... I want to get this straight. 158 00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:17,538 You... You're a total fraud? 159 00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:19,950 It didn't start that way, okay? 160 00:07:20,532 --> 00:07:21,931 A few years ago, I had this idea 161 00:07:21,934 --> 00:07:25,602 that I could fix people's bodies using medicine. 162 00:07:25,605 --> 00:07:27,372 Sounded great, right? I pitched it to investors. 163 00:07:27,374 --> 00:07:28,673 They went nuts. 164 00:07:28,676 --> 00:07:30,543 And, sure, yeah, the science wasn't there, 165 00:07:30,545 --> 00:07:33,015 but I figured fake it till you make it, right? 166 00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:34,967 Cut to now. 167 00:07:34,993 --> 00:07:37,193 I still haven't figured this shit out! 168 00:07:37,219 --> 00:07:39,219 And the patients keep coming! 169 00:07:39,256 --> 00:07:41,356 Dr. Goodman, this is wrong. 170 00:07:41,359 --> 00:07:43,826 You need to stop doing this. 171 00:07:43,829 --> 00:07:45,696 - I can't. - Why not? 172 00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:47,618 Because I'm a weak man. 173 00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,794 [BLEEP] 174 00:07:52,307 --> 00:07:55,141 I once made a man with the flu eat his own dick. 175 00:07:55,921 --> 00:07:58,679 - Oh, no. - Oh, my God. 176 00:08:01,252 --> 00:08:03,519 You there. Where did you get that duck? 177 00:08:03,522 --> 00:08:05,322 Uh, what, you mean Bucket? 178 00:08:05,324 --> 00:08:07,324 Uh, I found him. 179 00:08:07,327 --> 00:08:08,993 It was a miracle. 180 00:08:08,996 --> 00:08:12,564 You know, until he came along, my entire life, I had nothing. 181 00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:17,003 And now I have this one little thing that makes me happy. 182 00:08:17,006 --> 00:08:18,325 I'm so... 183 00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:20,709 I'm so grateful. 184 00:08:20,711 --> 00:08:23,945 Vexler, make the dirty man give Henry back to me. 185 00:08:23,948 --> 00:08:25,248 All right, how much? 186 00:08:25,251 --> 00:08:27,317 Oh, no, Bucket's not for sale. 187 00:08:27,319 --> 00:08:30,254 - Trick him. - Now, hold on there, pal. 188 00:08:30,257 --> 00:08:32,457 I'm not just some rube, you know? 189 00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:34,660 You might be some slick-talking castle guy, 190 00:08:34,663 --> 00:08:38,698 but I've got one thing you don't... street smarts. 191 00:08:38,701 --> 00:08:40,635 - You see this magic egg? - I'm listening. 192 00:08:40,637 --> 00:08:43,204 You could keep that one duck, or you could take this egg, 193 00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:45,741 and when it hatches, you will have... 194 00:08:45,744 --> 00:08:46,809 four ducks. 195 00:08:46,811 --> 00:08:48,978 And one of them will be Bucket? 196 00:08:48,981 --> 00:08:52,786 Oh, man, wow. Are you sure you feel good about this? 197 00:08:53,153 --> 00:08:56,529 You're right. He may try and follow us and steal Henry back. 198 00:08:56,532 --> 00:08:57,757 Trick him further. 199 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,294 Yes, one of them will be Bucket, 200 00:09:00,297 --> 00:09:02,263 but only if you sit on this egg 201 00:09:02,265 --> 00:09:05,133 for a really, really long time. 202 00:09:05,136 --> 00:09:06,972 Do I have to be naked? 203 00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:09,893 I mean... 204 00:09:11,344 --> 00:09:12,977 I guess? 205 00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:14,179 Sold! 206 00:09:24,094 --> 00:09:27,729 Finally, one piece of good fortune in my life. 207 00:09:30,936 --> 00:09:33,570 - So, the doctor's a phony? - Yep. 208 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,907 And I guess I should have suspected something 209 00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,476 when he hired me off the street 210 00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,345 without checking my credentials 211 00:09:39,348 --> 00:09:40,613 or even knowing my full name. 212 00:09:40,615 --> 00:09:43,516 Yeah, that was a red flag. 213 00:09:43,519 --> 00:09:44,719 So, what are you gonna do now? 214 00:09:44,722 --> 00:09:46,888 Well, I'm gonna quit, obviously, 215 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:49,524 and then I'm gonna blow the whistle on him. 216 00:09:49,527 --> 00:09:51,561 I mean, the guy is a total con artist. 217 00:09:51,564 --> 00:09:54,798 I need to tell people that this whole doctor thing's a sham. 218 00:09:54,801 --> 00:09:58,603 Hi-eee! We just wanted to come over 219 00:09:58,606 --> 00:10:00,339 and say congrats on the big news. 220 00:10:00,341 --> 00:10:01,483 What big news? 221 00:10:01,486 --> 00:10:04,444 Oh, your doctor stuff got you in the Time 100. 222 00:10:04,447 --> 00:10:06,247 What's the Time 100? 223 00:10:06,249 --> 00:10:08,950 I scan the mists of time and divine 224 00:10:08,953 --> 00:10:13,522 which 100 souls have the most buzz! 225 00:10:13,526 --> 00:10:15,359 Whoa! That's crazy! 226 00:10:15,361 --> 00:10:18,496 Everyone's talking about you. You're, like, a celebrity. 227 00:10:18,499 --> 00:10:20,832 Wesley Pervert even rated your feet. 228 00:10:20,835 --> 00:10:22,488 7.5. 229 00:10:22,972 --> 00:10:24,838 Guys, listen, I, um... 230 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,908 I need to come clean about the whole doctor thing. 231 00:10:27,911 --> 00:10:29,444 Wait. Stop. 232 00:10:29,447 --> 00:10:32,648 Uh, first, I need to come clean. 233 00:10:32,651 --> 00:10:34,885 Al, I know I've been really hard on you in the past, 234 00:10:34,887 --> 00:10:38,759 but the truth is, deep down... 235 00:10:40,859 --> 00:10:42,060 ...I was jealous. 236 00:10:42,063 --> 00:10:44,330 I mean, you're so smart, 237 00:10:44,332 --> 00:10:45,865 and I think I always knew that someday 238 00:10:45,868 --> 00:10:48,895 you would accomplish things I could never dream of. 239 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,236 This is proof. 240 00:10:50,238 --> 00:10:56,144 Yeah, it's almost like you won, you know? 241 00:10:56,148 --> 00:10:57,781 Sorry. Um, 242 00:10:57,783 --> 00:11:00,863 you were gonna say something about being a doctor? 243 00:11:00,866 --> 00:11:03,708 Uh, I... 244 00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:05,670 forget. 245 00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:09,635 Oh. Well, here's to Doctor Al! 246 00:11:09,661 --> 00:11:13,329 Yeah, Doc-tor Al! 247 00:11:30,026 --> 00:11:32,360 You called for me? 248 00:11:32,362 --> 00:11:33,995 Something's wrong. 249 00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:36,265 I can't stop thinking about that dirty man we tricked 250 00:11:36,268 --> 00:11:37,767 and left for dead in the woods. 251 00:11:37,769 --> 00:11:41,972 And now I have this strange, painful feeling in my stomach. 252 00:11:41,975 --> 00:11:43,407 You don't think he infected me 253 00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:44,776 with some poor-person disease, do you? 254 00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:47,641 I think what you're feeling is guilt. 255 00:11:48,322 --> 00:11:50,089 I-I'm not familiar. 256 00:11:50,186 --> 00:11:52,920 It's this feeling you sometimes have 257 00:11:52,923 --> 00:11:55,223 when you do something bad to someone. 258 00:11:55,225 --> 00:11:57,692 Oh, do you think I did something bad to the man in the woods? 259 00:11:57,695 --> 00:11:59,061 Oh, yeah, it was super [BLEEP] up. 260 00:11:59,064 --> 00:12:01,164 I mean, that duck was all he had, and... 261 00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:02,366 And you took it from him, 262 00:12:02,369 --> 00:12:03,635 even though you have a hundred ducks, 263 00:12:03,637 --> 00:12:04,903 and then you left him sitting alone, 264 00:12:04,906 --> 00:12:07,209 naked, on a rock. It's psycho. 265 00:12:07,675 --> 00:12:08,674 Hmm. 266 00:12:11,514 --> 00:12:13,092 Okay. 267 00:12:14,017 --> 00:12:16,617 Well, make the guilt go away, please. 268 00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:19,266 Mm, I think you need to do that yourself. 269 00:12:19,545 --> 00:12:21,060 How? 270 00:12:22,147 --> 00:12:23,814 Well... 271 00:12:29,103 --> 00:12:31,971 You took something from him and now you feel bad. 272 00:12:31,974 --> 00:12:35,621 So, in order to feel better, you should...? 273 00:12:37,615 --> 00:12:39,114 Just kill him. 274 00:12:39,116 --> 00:12:41,939 All right, I'm gonna take some opium and go to bed. 275 00:12:56,039 --> 00:12:58,239 Henry, why aren't you eating? 276 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,489 Henry? 277 00:13:04,982 --> 00:13:06,048 Bucket? 278 00:13:12,928 --> 00:13:15,629 - So, you're not quitting. - Well, I was going to, 279 00:13:15,632 --> 00:13:16,731 but then I realized Dr. Goodman's 280 00:13:16,733 --> 00:13:18,265 actually got some great ideas. 281 00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:20,235 And I mean, yeah, the science isn't fully there yet, 282 00:13:20,237 --> 00:13:22,804 but I think if we just keep working at it, 283 00:13:22,807 --> 00:13:24,073 we can really help people. 284 00:13:24,075 --> 00:13:25,675 Oh, so it's about helping people. 285 00:13:25,678 --> 00:13:27,077 'Cause it seemed like it was just about impressing 286 00:13:27,079 --> 00:13:28,746 Mary Baker and her idiot friends. 287 00:13:28,749 --> 00:13:31,716 What?! No! No, it is not about that. 288 00:13:31,719 --> 00:13:33,185 Come on, this is something I believe in. 289 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,920 You'll see. Me and Dr. Goodman... 290 00:13:34,923 --> 00:13:36,827 We're gonna change the world. 291 00:13:38,962 --> 00:13:40,361 Dr. Goodman! 292 00:13:40,363 --> 00:13:41,318 Snap out of it! 293 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,432 We need to figure out medicine now. 294 00:13:43,434 --> 00:13:45,467 You don't think I've tried? 295 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,504 It's impossible! 296 00:13:47,507 --> 00:13:51,809 I mean, tell me what the [BLEEP] this thing is here, huh? 297 00:13:51,812 --> 00:13:55,147 What the [BLEEP] am I looking at right now? 298 00:13:55,150 --> 00:13:57,283 This big [BLEEP] thing made of bones? 299 00:13:57,286 --> 00:14:01,021 Okay, let's just start with the easy patients, yeah? 300 00:14:01,024 --> 00:14:02,419 - Okay. - Like, uh, 301 00:14:02,444 --> 00:14:04,459 this guy... He just has a headache. 302 00:14:04,462 --> 00:14:07,963 Headache. Yeah. No, I have an... I have an... I have an idea. 303 00:14:07,966 --> 00:14:09,786 Okay, great. What is it? 304 00:14:11,571 --> 00:14:13,471 - We could kill ourselves. - What?! 305 00:14:13,474 --> 00:14:17,557 Yeah, blow our [BLEEP] brains out, take the easy way. 306 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,212 - Ohh! - Get it together, man! 307 00:14:19,215 --> 00:14:21,315 Okay, we are in too deep to quit! 308 00:14:21,317 --> 00:14:24,472 We just... We just gotta fake it until we make it! 309 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,456 All right, you're right. [BLEEP] these people. 310 00:14:27,459 --> 00:14:29,025 If they're dumb enough to fall for this shit, 311 00:14:29,028 --> 00:14:30,527 they deserve what they get. 312 00:14:30,529 --> 00:14:31,774 Yoo-hoo? 313 00:14:33,546 --> 00:14:34,944 Dad? 314 00:14:36,817 --> 00:14:38,350 What are you doing here? 315 00:14:38,376 --> 00:14:39,942 We have a little situation. 316 00:14:40,008 --> 00:14:42,242 I found your brother naked in the woods, 317 00:14:42,245 --> 00:14:45,313 and, uh, he seems to have caught a bit of a chill. 318 00:14:45,316 --> 00:14:47,316 Normally, I would just put him in front of the fire, 319 00:14:47,318 --> 00:14:48,450 but then I remembered 320 00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:50,353 we've got a famous doctor in the family. 321 00:14:50,355 --> 00:14:52,422 So I figured I'd check with the expert. 322 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,892 Well, you certainly came to the right place 323 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:58,830 'cause we're real doctors with real medicine knowledge. 324 00:14:58,833 --> 00:15:00,867 Great! Well, what do you suggest? 325 00:15:00,870 --> 00:15:03,170 Well, due to the client's cold temperature, 326 00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:07,674 I suggest we cut off his balls, and... 327 00:15:07,678 --> 00:15:09,240 you should eat your balls. 328 00:15:09,814 --> 00:15:12,348 Whoa! VIP treatment! 329 00:15:12,351 --> 00:15:14,351 Pays to have connections, huh? 330 00:15:14,354 --> 00:15:18,389 Yeah! Thanks, Al. 331 00:15:18,392 --> 00:15:20,212 Let's get you in there. 332 00:15:20,829 --> 00:15:23,730 All right, I guess, let's go kill this guy. 333 00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:31,286 Hey, the doctor is in! 334 00:15:31,288 --> 00:15:34,981 Hey, dad, I was thinking, what if you, um, 335 00:15:34,984 --> 00:15:37,447 instead of doing this procedure, just take Mikey home? 336 00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:40,355 You can just put him by the fire, and he'll be fine. 337 00:15:40,381 --> 00:15:42,581 But the doctor said we should feed him his own balls. 338 00:15:42,584 --> 00:15:43,983 He was clear, Al. 339 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:48,695 Yeah, um, Dr. Goodman is feeling a little off today. 340 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,964 A hard rain's gonna come. 341 00:15:50,966 --> 00:15:53,600 And it's gonna wash all you bastards 342 00:15:53,603 --> 00:15:56,770 down the [BLEEP] drain. 343 00:15:56,773 --> 00:15:58,306 He seems pretty sharp to me. 344 00:15:58,309 --> 00:16:00,843 But, hey, if he's not up for it, maybe you can fill in. 345 00:16:00,845 --> 00:16:03,101 I mean, you're a doctor, right? 346 00:16:04,490 --> 00:16:07,191 No, Dad. I'm not. 347 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,849 And neither is he. 348 00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:11,279 This whole thing's a scam. 349 00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:14,094 Aw, geez. Well... 350 00:16:14,097 --> 00:16:17,412 I'm glad you told us, but what about everybody else? 351 00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:22,669 You're right. 352 00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:25,743 I've got to put a stop to this. 353 00:16:25,745 --> 00:16:26,977 I'll... see you guys at home. 354 00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:28,346 Where are you going? 355 00:16:28,348 --> 00:16:29,714 To the media. 356 00:16:29,717 --> 00:16:31,684 Hear ye, hear ye! 357 00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,419 I am the Town Crier! 358 00:16:33,422 --> 00:16:37,424 And you're watching "Good Morning Lower Murkford!" 359 00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:46,937 My guest today is a rising star 360 00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:49,206 in the medical industry here to talk to us 361 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,176 about her incredible work in... 362 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:55,213 Actually, um, it's... It's actually, uh... 363 00:16:55,217 --> 00:16:56,650 I'm... I'm here to out Goodman as a fraud, 364 00:16:56,652 --> 00:16:57,751 and that it's actually a bad thing. 365 00:16:57,753 --> 00:16:59,119 Okay, yeah, I gotcha. 366 00:16:59,122 --> 00:17:00,322 Okay. 367 00:17:02,193 --> 00:17:04,727 My guest today is a whistleblower 368 00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:07,770 with a stunning revelation. 369 00:17:08,234 --> 00:17:11,769 The Lower Murkford Center for Medicine and Haircuts 370 00:17:11,772 --> 00:17:13,472 is a scam. 371 00:17:13,474 --> 00:17:15,074 I knew it! 372 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:17,491 Dr. Goodman is a fraud. 373 00:17:18,848 --> 00:17:20,537 And... 374 00:17:21,485 --> 00:17:22,818 so am I. 375 00:17:30,597 --> 00:17:34,265 Oh, my God, that was so hard to watch. 376 00:17:34,268 --> 00:17:36,535 Are you just, like, mortified? 377 00:17:36,537 --> 00:17:38,070 I would be dying. 378 00:17:38,073 --> 00:17:41,541 So, what's the plan now? Do you just go back to shoveling shit? 379 00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,544 Yep, just like before. 380 00:17:43,547 --> 00:17:46,148 Yeah, but now everybody, like, really hates you, 381 00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:47,216 even the Oracle. 382 00:17:47,219 --> 00:17:50,520 - Bitch! - Whoa! 383 00:17:50,523 --> 00:17:51,522 - Ohh. - Shut up! 384 00:17:51,524 --> 00:17:52,556 - Ow! - Burn. 385 00:17:52,558 --> 00:17:54,825 Forget these idiots. I'll grab you a beer. 386 00:17:54,828 --> 00:17:56,570 Thanks, Maggie. 387 00:18:08,747 --> 00:18:10,113 Ah, there you are. 388 00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:12,097 I've been looking all over for you. 389 00:18:12,123 --> 00:18:13,357 Why? 390 00:18:14,621 --> 00:18:16,151 To give you this. 391 00:18:19,628 --> 00:18:21,027 The egg isn't real. 392 00:18:21,029 --> 00:18:23,196 It's just a regular rock. 393 00:18:23,199 --> 00:18:25,232 What, you tricked me? 394 00:18:25,235 --> 00:18:28,136 Why... Why would you do that? 395 00:18:28,139 --> 00:18:29,439 Well, to be honest, dirty man, 396 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:30,907 I think it's because sometimes 397 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,643 I can be a little... 398 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,044 selfish. 399 00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:36,948 I'm trying not to be that way anymore. 400 00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,450 I-I still have my blind spots, 401 00:18:38,453 --> 00:18:41,187 but hopefully this is a good start. 402 00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:43,090 Well, thanks so much for bringing me back Bucket. 403 00:18:43,092 --> 00:18:44,758 I-I really appreciate it. 404 00:18:44,761 --> 00:18:47,495 I'd shake your hand, but my limbs are all stiff. 405 00:18:47,498 --> 00:18:48,864 I'm still pretty cold. 406 00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:50,029 Really? 407 00:18:50,602 --> 00:18:53,242 Huh. I'm quite warm. 408 00:18:53,873 --> 00:18:55,537 I have two coats on. 409 00:18:56,275 --> 00:18:57,608 Sort of hot, actually. 410 00:18:59,647 --> 00:19:01,481 Wait a second. 411 00:19:07,657 --> 00:19:09,680 I can just carry this one. 412 00:19:11,028 --> 00:19:12,795 Yes. 413 00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:15,632 See ya. 414 00:19:15,635 --> 00:19:16,901 Okay, bye! 415 00:19:21,639 --> 00:19:25,407 - Wow, shit week. - Yeah. But whatever. 416 00:19:25,411 --> 00:19:27,745 At least I can just put it behind me now. 417 00:19:27,747 --> 00:19:29,280 Next question. 418 00:19:29,283 --> 00:19:32,417 This young psychopath recently attempted to swindle 419 00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:33,586 all of Lower Murkford 420 00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:36,689 by claiming to be a medical doctor 421 00:19:36,692 --> 00:19:40,060 when she was, in fact, dumb. 422 00:19:40,063 --> 00:19:43,665 Yeah, that's me, Al Shitshoveler, right here. 423 00:19:43,668 --> 00:19:45,201 Correct! 424 00:19:45,204 --> 00:19:48,772 100 points to the horrible person sitting over there. 425 00:19:48,775 --> 00:19:50,608 I'm proud of you, Al. Cheers. 426 00:19:50,611 --> 00:19:52,377 - Cheers. - Cheers. 427 00:19:52,379 --> 00:19:56,715 Listen, I'm sorry for what I said before. 428 00:19:56,718 --> 00:19:59,786 You know, the b-word. 429 00:19:59,789 --> 00:20:01,989 That was really not cool of me. 430 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:05,660 Anyway, friends again? 431 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:09,131 I mean, we were never really friends, Oracle. 432 00:20:09,134 --> 00:20:11,427 Please? 433 00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:13,271 Sure. 434 00:20:13,274 --> 00:20:14,473 Okay, Oracle. 435 00:20:14,475 --> 00:20:16,208 - Cheers! - Cheers. 436 00:20:17,212 --> 00:20:19,346 Hey, whatever happened to the doctor? 437 00:20:20,232 --> 00:20:21,775 I don't know. 438 00:20:22,485 --> 00:20:25,086 Fresh start. Skip town. 439 00:20:25,089 --> 00:20:27,824 Whole new look, whole new life. 440 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,460 Hello, I am Andrew. 441 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:31,962 I am an architect. 442 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,331 Build a house for you? Why, of course. 443 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,700 That is my job. 444 00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:39,205 Oh, that's good. 445 00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:48,918 Off to Italy, baby! 31172

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