Original subtitles

Holy shit.

Oh my God.

- This is fucked. - God damn it!

Ah, fuck!

Maybe I should do it again?

It's gone. Oh, my fucking...

It's fucking... Oh my God.

* Is there anybody home? *

* Is there anybody... *

* Is there anybody... *

* Is there anybody... *

* I don't care if you... *

* I don't care..., I don't care... *

* I don't care..., I don't care... *

* I don't care..., I don't care... *

* I don't..., I don't..., I don't..., I don't... *

* Is there someone right behind you? *

* Is there someone right behind you? *

Fuck!

Toby.

Sorry, a dog ate yours, you can have mine.

Here you go.

Thanks.

God, I just don't get Australian maps.

Do you get any maps?

Just saying.

Give it here.

Well, that's definitely North.

Toby, give me my camera.

You had it last.

No, I gave it to you at the Big Banana.

I mean sometimes I think Mom and Dad were punishing me

by sending us on a trip together.

Well, at least I'm not adopted.

We could reach the Eiffel tower.

You know maybe you'll lose your passport

and get trapped here.

At least I'm not trapped up your ass.

At least my ass isn't the size of a house.

Well, at least my dick's not the size of an ant.

We could go get lunch in Central Park.

You have a dick?

Guys, come on!

Run, Forrest!

You'd be lost without this.

We already are.

Oi, Geordie, the dick's finished!

Yeah, he's not with me.

Thanks.

Okay.

We've got all afternoon to find the hostel.

Just relax.

Yeah, it'd just be good to drop our bags.

Toby, tell her we're staying.

We're staying.

- Oi, map girl. - Oh hey.

- You still lost? - Hey.

You guys heard of a game called cricket?

Come on, America.

Where are the bases?

Get closer to the wickets! Like that.

This, no.

Left foot out,

you wanna like take up, and then swing through.

No!

Drip, drip, drip.

Every time that she woke scared,

she just put her hand down to the side of the bed,

so her dog could lick it, making her feel more comfortable,

so she could go back to sleep.

Drip, drip, drip.

She woke again, but this time she went to see

where the drip was coming from.

She forget to turn the tap off or something like that?

No, no.

She forgot to turn the tap off.

No.

She went into the bathroom,

and there in the mirror, written in blood,

humans can lick, too.

And then hanging from the shower was her dog.

The drip, drip was its blood.

That's the end.

That's it.

- Pretty scary story. - Yeah, that was cool.

- What? It was great. - An American classic.

Nah, it was good. Why do you guys do that?

Why do Americans do that?

Why do you all sit around campfires

and tell ghost stories?

Well, what else are ya gonna do?

Aw, we just...

We don't do that here, do we?

Well what do you do?

We just sit around the campfire,

telling real stories.

Oh, sorry, real stories.

Okay, give us a real story.

Come on.

Alright, I'll give you a real story.

And no, I don't need the torch.

I don't use special effects

or anything like that to make my story better.

Okay. This is how my story starts.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Oh, please.

The academy award for the best cliche goes to Oscar.

Alright, here it is.

It's about a man, right?

Is he hot?

Is he, I need to know.

I don't know if he's hot. I don't know if he's hot.

Let's just say he is.

He's hot, thank you.

This guy, he owns a motorbike.

And he's always really careful on his motorbike,

because he's got two beautiful young kids and a wife.

So he's driving home this one night.

And he gets to the intersection at Lemon Tree Passage Road.

It's fine, he looks left, he looks right,

sees that there's nothing there,

and he just edges forward just ever so slowly...

Bang!

Oh my God!

He's been hit.

No seriously, he's just been hit

by a car full of fuckin' teenagers.

Right, they've just run this guy over.

So they stop, they stop to see what they've done,

and you know, they know they just haven't ran over

some fuckin' kangaroo or anything like that.

What?

- A kangaroo. - Toby!

Shut up.

Seriously they've just killed a dude. Right?

So they take off.

They're teenagers they don't want the trouble.

It's said that the ghost of this guy

haunts Lemon Tree Passage Road.

And every time a car full of teenagers goes down it,

a bright light shines on 'em.

All the way.

And that's how you tell a fuckin' story.

A real story.

- Have you seen it? - Of course I've seen it.

I wouldn't believe it otherwise.

- Then where is it? - It's like 20 minutes away.

- Oh my God! - Jesus, Toby, give it up.

And what did I say on the drive home?

Tomorrow, it's going to be hot, hot, hot.

Hey!

Whoa!

What, didn't you hear him say "hot hot hot"?

The Aussie version of mistletoe.

- No it's not! - Does that ever work for you?

It works all the time, what's your problem?

- Hey, hey left here. - What?

- Left here. Left here. - Here?

Yeah, you'll see.

You're gonna blow your shit when you see this.

It will work, it will work, trust me.

- I need you to go faster, mate. - Mate, I'm trying.

- Come on, grandma! - Mate, go faster.

Put your fuckin' foot down on the pedal, ya pussy.

- What're you doing? - There's nothing there.

I don't see anything.

- Keep your eyes out the back. - Where am I supposed to be looking?

The faster we go, we're gonna see him. We're gonna see it.

If we do, you owe me a kiss then, definitely.

Oh!

Okay, okay, keep looking.

I promise.

130, and any moment now you're gonna see this...

There it fuckin' is!

What did I say, what did I tell you?

What did I tell you? What did I tell you?

I can't see it.

Okay, keep your eyes on it.

We tell real stories here.

Real stories.

- Okay, keep your fuckin' eye on it. - I can't see it.

You can't see that? How can you not see that?

It's a car.

Look at it, are you sure it's not a car?

How can that be a car?

It's gonna stay there like that. Keep the speed up.

Okay now, watch this.

And now it's gonna smack right into that pole over there.

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh my God!

Oh!

It just goes.

- That was, like, totally awesome. - That was insane!

Let's go again, let's go again.

Let's go again! Let's go again!

How good was that? How good was that?

That was awesome let's do it again!

Let's do it again. Let's do it again.

Why don't we go back?

Look, Toby's empty, let's go back to the house,

he needs a drink.

Yeah, come on, let's go.

Aw.

Yeah, we'll go home, get another drink.

- I'm thirsty! - Oh my God!

We stayed in this one hostel in... Melbourne?

Melbourne.

Melbourne.

Whatever.

Yeah, well we had to share a room with like 20 other people,

and there was this girl who liked to...

Duck wack!

- What? - Shit, mate, I thought I lost ya.

Maya, Wacky. Wacky, Maya.

It's very nice to meet you.

She sounds funny doesn't she?

Geez, mate, you are looking haggard.

You're cuter than your friend.

Aw, hey.

Sorry.

I loved him.

Used to take him around with me everywhere.

Mum thought I got too old.

How old were you?

16.

I should get to the others.

He's wrong, you know.

I'm not boxing myself in down there.

This radio station will remain on the air day and night.

Maya?

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean...

Who the fuck are you?

Sammy, this is, uh, my friend, Maya.

She's traveling with her friends from America.

Good on them.

Yeah, we were watching a movie. Did you wanna?

Not really.

Well, look at you.

Living up to your word?

Excuse me?

Kissing as many hot Australians as you can get.

Firstly, we didn't.

Secondly you said that.

Really?

That doesn't sound like me.

No, not at all.

Oh, Geordie.

Good night, Amelia.

Oh, Sarah.

Stop!

Were you scared?

Were you?

It felt good.

Okay.

Let's go back.

Why?

Is this Mom's jewelry?

Is it Mom's jewelry?

I'm done!

Get away from me!

You need to get the fuck away from me.

Hey, Maya, Maya, it's okay.

Shh.

Where am I?

You're in the closet.

You okay?

I think I had a bad dream.

I think you were just sleepwalking.

Come here.

Come on.

Fucking corker?

Basically, to sound Australian,

you've gotta say fuckin' in front of everything.

Right, okay.

Alright, fuckin' corker.

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Wait, wait, wait, let me have a go.

Okay, alright.

Watch it.

Well dry faster than.

Sorry.

That's what Australians say when they cheers.

Go, give it a go.

Up the bum, no babies.

Do you think you saw anything last night?

Something.

But not a ghost.

What about you?

No.

Was just a busted street light.

What do I have to do convince you guys?

Stand in the middle of the bloody road?

I can't believe you're making him do this.

Say something, dude.

Go fuck yourself.

Okay, we can hear ya.

Okay, I'm standing here

in the middle of Lemon Tree Passage Road.

And it's pretty bloody dark, actually.

You're such a weirdo!

Shut the fuck up, this is serious.

Okay we're coming up to you man.

Okay, there's still no sign of the...

...ghost, but if they pick up their speed.

Whoa, holy shit, dude. Dude, you're standing right next to it.

- Where? - It's right beside you.

Okay, according to reports,

I'm currently standing next to a real live ghost.

Can you see it?

I can't see it.

Dude, it's right fuckin' there.

I'm gonna move, I'll go over where I can get a better look.

Oh, no mate, don't move. We won't know where to find ya.

Okay, I'm...

Oscar?

Oscar?

Oscar?

What's he doing?

It dropped out.

Okay, call him back.

Hello?

Hey mate, we're gonna turn around.

- What are you near so we find you? - Got ya!

This is actually a voice message,

but if you've got nice tits like Geordie's mother,

you may as well leave a message, ha!

Let's just turn around and pick him up, yeah?

Yeah.

Listen man, you're imagining things, alright?

That's not fucking happening, okay.

It can't be, you know what happened.

Just forget about it.

You alright?

Hey, Maya.

Maybe we should go looking for Oscar.

Maybe we should.

You have a flashlight?

Oh, Oscar's going to enjoy this.

Here's one, and another one.

Here I think.

There ya are, knock yourselves out.

You guys didn't wanna come with us did you?

Someone should stay here in case he comes back.

Well, yeah, how about you guys stay here,

and we'll go idiot hunting.

Have fun, you guys.

Good luck getting that chastity belt off.

This is so weird.

Yeah, would be strange.

Um...

How about this one?

Maybe?

No, no listen.

No.

Okay.

Um...

Alright this one is a classic,

you have got to know it.

I like it.

Aw, come on, you are killing me here.

I'm sorry.

It'll kill ya you know.

What?

Smoking.

Hey, hey.

Whoa, are you okay?

You alright?

What's going on?

You okay?

What the fuck?

I don't know.

Just try to stay calm, okay?

Has it gotten cold?

Run it just for a minute, but we need the battery.

Can you smell something?

Gas!

Shut it off.

No, no, no, no.

Oscar?

Wake up, wake up.

Wake up, mate!

Maya, help me!

Come on. Come on!

We gotta get him to a hospital. We gotta get him to a hospital!

He's dead.

Come on, come on.

Come on!

Geordie, I don't know what it means...

You have reached a number...

Fucking piece of shit!

You're cuter than your friend.

What?

What is it?

Maya?

Oh my God, Amelia!

Oh, where is he?

Hey, hey, shh.

He's in the car, and it was an accident.

It's okay.

I didn't mean to.

Oscar's in the boot.

He's dead.

Get him out, we've got to get him out.

No, leave it! Just leave it.

- Geordie, please no. - He might still be alive!

He's not, he's dead! Okay?

Hey, help us!

- Stop! - Stop!

Wait! Help us!

Stop!

Stop!

Help us!

Hello?

What the hell?

Hello?

Hello?

Geordie, he's gone!

Where is he?

He was just in here!

He was here, right?

Oscar?

You know, I can't believe you two.

This is so messed up.

You know what? This is a sick joke.

You guys disgust me.

We're not joking!

Alright, then where is he?

Toby!

Amelia, wait!

Would I lie to you about this?

Well, I don't know what to believe

from you anymore.

Amelia this isn't a fucking joke.

Yeah, well, I need to find my brother.

Amelia, wait!

Toby!

Just stop, we gotta go back to the car.

He knows where the car is!

I was supposed to be meeting him ages ago.

Okay, where?

I was supposed to meet him where I left him.

Stop, we need to get back to the car.

Cause Oscar's...

We need to figure this out!

I need to find my brother.

Hey, guys.

Maya, what are you doing?

The light over there.

What light?

I thought I saw Toby's flashlight.

Maya, stop.

I don't know what you saw,

but I didn't see his torch.

I need to pee.

Just go behind that bush, quick.

Alright, give this one a go.

Up the bum, no baby.

Go fuck yourself.

Okay, I'm standing here in the middle of Lemon Tree...

No, I can't see it!

Ah, hang on, I'm gonna move.

I'll go over where I can get a better look.

Okay, I'm walking to the edge of the woods...

Listen to this, it's Oscar.

- Where did you get that? - Just play it.

Play it!

It's busted.

You know what, I am so tired of...

It was Oscar! Someone was hurting him.

Maya, slow.

We're all tired and scared, okay?

Sometimes it can affect your mind.

I didn't imagine it, it was a...

Just shut up, okay?

Where's that coming from?

Toby!

Toby!

Amelia.

Help!

It's Toby's shoes.

Toby!

Shh!

No!

Oh, no.

Toby, wake up!

We gotta go. We gotta go.

We gotta get out of here.

Come on. Come on.

No, no.

Run!

Mate! Mate, stop.

Fuck!

So, what Oscar said...

The guy on the bike.

It's not real.

But I saw it.

Tell us the story again.

A guy was knocked off his bike by a bunch of kids.

It's a warning not to speed.

But you saw it?

No.

The 26th of November.

That's today.

Why is he after us?

It's just a stupid ghost story,

he's not after us.

But how do you know that?

You're exhausted.

Why don't you just rest?

It's the wrong story.

Everyone wants in, right?

But you don't just get in.

Stop!

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Make them fucking stop!

Maya.

I caught her sleepwalking last night,

she's probably doing the same thing.

Who's there?

Who's out there?

Come out so I can blow ya fuckin' head off.

No, no.

Your brother is here.

Geordie?

She'll kill him.

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

She's here.

She lives here.

Who?

You know who, Brianna.

No, no, no, no.

Stop, stop, stop, stop,

I'll do whatever you want!

She was in a closet, she was scared out of her...

Look!

Maya.

Was she stripping her clothes off last night, too?

Maya!

Maya!

Maya!

Maya!

Maya, no!

No!

Get the life ring.

Come on.

Shh.

If I let go, you promise me you're not gonna scream?

Yeah?

Promise?

Help!

Help!

See?

You see what you did?

Come on.

Oh my God, Sam.

Sam.

What are you doing?

Keeping an eye on you.

You gonna tell me why you're out here?

Why the fuck you out here?

Okay, you don't wanna talk?

Let's try this.

I'm out here looking for Geordie.

So, why the fuck are you out here? Here?!

Oh my God, you're a freak!

Geordie.

* You know where you can find me *

* Is there anybody home? *

* Take a look inside the window *

* And I don't need to know *

Alright, I'll do it, I'll do it.

You're struggling like a little fuckin' animal, aren't ya?

No, don't touch me!

Let me go!

* Is there someone right behind you? *

* Are you ready for the fall? *

Tie the legs up.

* Do you know where you can find me? *

* And I don't need to hold it close to be free *

Round the neck it goes.

Beautiful!

Come on, suck it up.

I got you.

Come here.

Okay, come on, let's go.

Let's go.

It's okay. Okay.

Come here, get warm, get warm.

Where's Amelia?

She's...

Come on, come on.

- Where was she? - She was here.

Amelia!

Wait, wait, wait. I saw something down there.

What?

I don't know, it was like a vision or something, I don't know.

Wait, wait, wait! Listen to me, you're not safe.

I'm safe, Amelia isn't!

No, there's this girl, okay? They dumped her out there.

All of this shit that's happening to us, it's happened to her.

- Come, Maya. - No, but listen, listen, listen.

Police are searching for a Sydney girl

who went missing from a Newcastle Night Club

on Saturday the 26th of November.

The 26th of November, that's today!

- We don't have time for this! - That's her, Brianna.

If we don't find Amelia...

Oh my God, you're right!

Geordie?

Geordie?

I saw your car on the road, bro.

Bumped into your, uh, American friend.

Geordie?

What's that?

It's music.

- What the fuck is Sam doing here? - Huh?

Sam's car.

Well he can't have gone far.

- Maya? - Amelia?

- Maya! - Amelia!

Oh my God!

- You're okay? - You're okay. You're okay.

What the fuck happened?

Oh my God, it's Sam.

We gotta get out of here, he's got a gun.

Geordie untie her!

You're gonna be okay, I promise. I promise you.

C'mon, hurry!

I can't get it. Check the car for a knife.

I'll be back.

- Can't see it. - You can't see?

It's already following us!

- Look at it. - Has it gotten cold?

He's in the car and it was an accident.

Have fun, you guys.

Don't you fucking dare.

Help!

No!

No, Amelia!

Amelia, please.

No!

No. No!

Shit.

No, no!

Amelia, please.

Geordie?

Come on, come on, come on.

No, no.

You are looking... haggard.

What?

Nothing to say?

Your funny friend was a lot more chatty.

It's okay.

Can you see this?

I'm not crazy, am I?

You can see it?

You can feel it?

Maybe not as sharp as I remember.

Maya?

It's me.

It's Geordie.

Maya.

Maya, it's a weird name.

Nice legs, though.

What did you do to Oscar?

Same thing that's gonna happen to you.

Well, a little different.

That was more of a gassing thing.

Or would you prefer to be strangled?

Have something shoved down your throat?

Play a little bit of... noosey, noosey.

Who are you?

Okay.

- What do you... - Drop it.

Sam, what the fuck are you doing here?

Hi.

You got old.

Boo.

No, no, no, don't.

I've got to.

You know your brother here and I go way back.

Don't listen to her, mate.

I'm offended.

That's very rude to forget anniversaries.

Five years, what is that now?

Ruby, diamond?

It's wood.

Isn't that appropriate?

What's she talking about, Sam?

Yeah, Sam, better tell him what's going on.

Fuck you.

Let me.

It was a dark and stormy night...

and you fucking killed me!

Weren't you listening to my story?

I said, it was a dark and stormy night.

- What're you talking about? - It's nothing, mate.

Nothing?

Just a bit of fun.

I wanna hear you say it.

Okay, fine.

We're waiting.

You have ruined my life.

Ruined your life?

That's an idea.

I've never had an audience before.

One last thing.

Do you enjoy the light?

If you see it, you're dead.

If you don't, well I like your legs.

You know I really enjoy these anniversaries.

I'm so glad that you could make it.

Did you bring me a present?

Sam, you've gotta turn yourself in.

What?

Have her kill you too?

I didn't expect it to be wrapped or anything.

I love surprises.

Tell you what.

I'll make it a little easier for you.

I'll turn around, and count back from five, hm?

- Five, four... - What are you doing?

You can't bury this, Sam.

...three...

Geordie just close your eyes, mate.

- No, no what are you doing? - ...two...

- Sam, stop. - ...one...

- I'm sorry. - Sam! No, Sam!

Leave him!

Ah!

What have I done?

Maya?

No.

Well, who?

Sam... Sam did it.

Are you okay?

What happened to me?

It wasn't you.

I don't understand.

Why did he...?

He ended it.

* I go nowhere high *

* Go nowhere warm *

* Until I see your smile *

* And feel your calm *

* And I lick a dime *

* I crave for you, boy *

* You're like a parachute *

* Descending from the sky *

* But I'm sure you're on your way *

* Yes I'm sure *

* you're on the run *

* And I reckon there is nothing more to say *

* Do you know where you can find me? *

* Is there anybody home? *

* Take a look inside the window *

* And I don't need to know that I'm gonna win *

* And I don't care if you reset to begin *

* Is there someone right behind you? *

* Are you ready for the fall? *

* Do you know where you can find me? *

* And I don't need to hold it close to be free *