Original subtitles

23.976

This is Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Soon, the beach will be jammed...

...with girl-happy boys on their Easter vacation.

The boys come here for many, many reasons and good reasons...

...such as 36-24-36.

And, this is Chicago, Illinois.

Of course, there are lots of pretty girls here too.

There's one who is also 36-24-36.

But how can you tell.

Yes, I'm

Girl happy

Girl happy

Can't you see?

Girl happy

Girl, girl happy Ahh

I've been like this since I was just a baby boy

First nurse ever rocked my cradle

Made me jump for joy

Girl happy Well, I'm girl happy

Yes, I'm girl happy

Can't you see?

Girl happy, girl, girl happy

Girl happy

Said I'm girl happy

Yes, I'm girl happy

Can't you see?

That kid sure brings in the business, doesn't he, boss?

Yeah, even in a blizzard, he packs them in.

It's too bad he's leaving after tonight.

Yeah, but maybe you can get him back soon, huh, Mr. Frank?

Yeah.

Maybe I can.

That's it, boys. Next stop, Fort Lauderdale and girls.

- Girls. - And more girls.

- One more time. - Yeah!

I don't know. The roads are so icy.

Wouldn't it be better if we just waited a few days?

Mm-mm. Bikinis may go out of style.

Patience, my darling. We shall be there momentarily.

You know how multi-millionaires are.

Oh, tsk, tsk. A nasty touch of the sun.

- May I please...? - Ah!

- Gently. - Always gently.

I still don't see what all the hurry's about.

You know, he hasn't been too well.

- It's those headaches. - Migraine.

- A massage will do wonders for him. - Great wonders.

Oh, come on, guys.

- Quit messing around, will you? - Quit playing around.

- Anything to help... Mr. Frank.

- Mr. Frank. - Ahem.

- Hello, Mr. Frank. - Hi, Mr. Frank.

Mr. Frank.

You boys are pretty good here.

- Thank you. - Thank you. Thank you.

I canceled my next act.

I'm gonna keep you here another four weeks.

- That's very nice of you but... - Maybe even six weeks.

- We're going to Fort Lauderdale... - Boss...

...phone call, long distance. It's your daughter.

I'll be right there. See you boys tomorrow night.

- Thanks. - Thank you, Mr. Frank.

Well.

Well, honey...

...best you slip into something warm...

...because we're gonna be here a while.

Oh, no, no, no. We're not gonna give up that easy.

We'll just tell him that we're not available.

Hey, you don't tell Big Frank anything. He tells you.

We'll explain to him.

Say we've been going on to the Sandbar Club every Easter.

- He's a pretty understandable guy. - Oh-ho-ho.

Come on.

- You're gonna go tell him now? - We're gonna go tell him now.

He's having a nice chat with his daughter.

I won't stand for it.

What do you mean, you're not coming home from school?

You always come home for Easter.

Now, Daddy, please try to understand. Not this vacation.

Oh, all the girls are going to Fort Lauderdale and I wanna go with them.

Fort what?

Oh, no, no daughter of mine is going off visiting any Army camp.

Daddy, it's not an army camp, it's a resort town.

Mr. Frank, all the college kids go there.

Honest. - Valerie.

- It's respectable. - Let me talk to Valerie.

- Please, please let her go, Mr. Frank. Please, Daddy. Let me go.

Can I talk to my own daughter?

I am 21, and I want so much to be on my own.

Oh, Valerie, look...

It's very important.

Yes, I know, I know, but still, honey, I...

Please, Daddy, let me go.

All right. Where're you gonna be?

- Seadrift Motel. - Seadrift Motel.

Fort Lauderdale.

I'll meet you there tomorrow.

Oh, Daddy, we're going down there alone.

- But... - Oh, Daddy, promise me...

...you won't come down there. - Yeah.

But... - Oh, thank you.

I knew you'd understand. I'll phone you every night. Bye.

- I knew it. - Great.

Come in.

Fort Lauderdale.

If anybody ever mentions that place to me again, I'll break them in half.

What do you want?

Nothing. - We came to ask you...

We just came to tell you that...

We're happy to be here another four weeks.

- Or even six. - Or even ten. We're all yours.

Ah. Get out of here.

Daughters.

She's going down to Fort Lauderdale.

My little Val. On her own.

Don't ever have girls. Especially daughters.

- I'll try not to. - Lf I had a son that would be great.

Ha-ha. He can go anywhere.

Let somebody else's father do the worrying.

But...

...someone should be down there to look after her.

Hmm.

Well, uh...

How long is she gonna be down there? One day? Maybe two?

- Ten days. - Ten days?

And nights?

Yeah. Well... Well...

Maybe things have changed since I was down there.

- You were down there? - Just once.

My father sent me to bring my sister back.

Well, Valerie's a very sensible girl.

Well, that's good.

You don't have to worry about there being 30,000 sex-starved boys down there.

Thirty thousand...

Well, you know, the guys are locked up with books all the winter...

...and in the spring a young man's fancy...

After all, what did you do when you were 20 years old?

- I'll kill them. - I guess I'll be running along.

Thirty thousand guys.

Just a minute. I know what you're thinking.

You want us to go down and keep an eye on your daughter.

- Huh? - Well, we could go down...

...and keep an eye on her 24 hours a day...

...without her even knowing it.

You wouldn't have an act. It wouldn't be good.

Oh, wait a minute. Heh. So I'll get another act.

- You guys gotta go down. - I don't know.

The boys might not like it. They like it here.

I'll make it worth your while. I'll pay all expenses. Ha-ha. It's settled.

You'll leave tonight. Stay at the same place, Seadrift Motel.

Seadrift Motel.

Yeah.

- Take a look, so you'll recognize her. - Hmm.

You know, she thinks I'm overprotective.

But why not?

Ever since she was 3 years old, I was mother and father to her.

I guess we'll be leaving as soon as possible then.

Look.

Val's all I got.

She can have a good time.

Yes, sir.

But I'm warning you...

...if my daughter gets in the least bit of trouble...

Uh... Don't worry about a thing. We'll take care of everything. Everything.

A little bird

He told me so

He said come on Get on the go

Open your eyes

The sky is full of butterflies

- Ooh ahh - The blossoms on the trees

- Ooh ahh - Stir up the honey bees

- Spring makes my fever rise - Ooh ahh

Spring fever

Spring fever

Spring is here at last

Spring fever

My heart's beating fast

There is no doubt now Love is in the air

Get up, get out Spring is everywhere

- Well, if you feel that wanderlust - Yeah, uh-huh

- Just grab a car - Come on

- Or hop a bus - With us

- In every town - A van

- There's excitement to be found - Ahhh

So much is happening Don't miss the joy of spring

The world's in love Just look around, yeah

Spring fever - Comes to everyone

Spring fever

It's time for fun

There is no doubt now Love is in the air

- Get up, get out - Spring is everywhere

Spring fever

Spring fever time

Spring fever

Watch that fever climb

There is no doubt now Love is in the air

Get up, get out Spring is everywhere

- Up, out - Spring is everywhere

- Okay, fellas. Recess is over. - Huh?

We're down here on a babysitting job.

- We stay away from the windows, right? Right.

Some more girls are coming.

- Where? - Let's see.

That's her. Big Frank's daughter. Yeah.

The one we have to chaperone?

The one with the glasses.

Frank's worried about us making out with that? My goodness.

Who needs peanut butter with all this caviar around?

Hmm. Looks like our chaperone problem has taken care of itself.

Come here. Speaking about caviar.

- Hi. - Hi.

You know that girl? Oh, this girl?

Oh, uh... Her name's Deena Shepard.

Don't waste your time. She has absolutely nothing up here.

Hey, yeah, daddy. But what about all those other places?

But that's worthless.

Don't you know the entire ingredients of a human body...

...can be bought for just $ 1.98.

I'll take $50 worth.

Oh, you can have it.

Me, I'm interested only in females with a mind.

You take those girls out there, they're nothing.

I mean, take away their bathing suits and what do you have?

Uh... Thanks, pal.

- Come on. Pool time. - Sure.

- Nice talking to you. - See you later.

No pets or animals, no toys in the pool, no cooking...

...no noisy parties, no loud radios, and no boys in the room.

Thank you.

Remember we want you to have a good time. Heh, heh.

This year, I'm not playing the field.

No more running around with every chick I meet.

No, sir.

This year...

...I'm gonna pick out half a dozen chicks and go steady with them.

I think boys really prefer a girl who's intelligent, well-informed.

A girl with an I.Q.

Now you give me the big stupe every time.

Blonde, brunette, redhead, whatever-it-is, as long as it's empty.

Empty inside.

Well, as for me, I like the romantic type.

A dreamer and a poet.

I know a girl

Lives on a hill

What she won't do Her sister will

- E minor. - Hey, hey, here comes our pigeon now.

- Looks like she's going for a swim. - Ha-ha.

- That ought to keep the sharks away. - Be thankful she's a loser.

This way we'll have all our free time with no worries.

- Oh. - What? What's the matter?

Oh, no, no. Oh, no.

What's the matter?

Our pigeon's turned into a pretty swinging chick.

Oh, boy. That Big Frank really threw us a curve.

A whole bunch of curves.

How are we gonna keep guys away from that?

Impossible. It's impossible.

That's like trying to hide Disneyland.

Just a minute. Just a minute.

There might be a way we can keep an eye on her.

We invite her to the club to watch the show.

That'll tip her off we're working for her old man.

She'll never guess a thing. Not the way I'm gonna handle it.

Girls on the beaches commit a sin

If they don't show yards And yards of skin

Preceding message to you has been

Through the courtesy

Of the Fort Lauderdale Chamber Of Commerce

Ooh - Maybe your yen is for tennis courts

Maybe romancing is in your thoughts

Enjoy all outdoor and indoor sports

Through the courtesy

Of the Fort Lauderdale Chamber Of Commerce

Any male in Fort Lauderdale

Who is not pursuing a cute female

Will automatically land in jail

That's the law in Fort Lauderdale

Pretty girls 18 to 23

If their technique Ain't what it should be

Get love instruction for free from me

Through the courtesy

Of the Fort Lauderdale Chamber of Commerce

Hi.

Hi.

I hope I didn't disturb you.

Oh, no, not at all.

I'm Rusty Wells. Our combo is playing over at the Sandbar.

I'd like to make it up to you. Why don't you come over as our guests?

- You don't even need dates. - Oh, well, really, that isn't necessary.

Oh, it... It's... It... It's...

Oh, it's very necessary.

It is. I think you should, because I owe it to you. Really.

Well, that's very kind of you.

But I'm planning on staying in my room tonight and getting some rest.

I have a very bad headache. Which just began.

Oh. Oh, you know, I think you're right.

Good idea. I think you should stay in tonight.

Maybe for two or three nights. Heh, heh.

You look like you need a little rest, anyway.

Schoenberg.

- You're reading that? - I beg your pardon?

Oh, a brilliant book, a brilliant book. But...

I never realized that anyone who looked...

It's required reading. I major in music.

Schoenberg. A girl with a mind, at last.

I'm Brentwood Von Durgenfeld. They call me B.V.D.

And I was wondering.

Do you suppose we might have a date this evening?

Enjoy all outdoor and indoor sports

Though the courtesy...

All right, so I'm not a muscle man.

Maybe I don't play football, but I have a mind.

A good mind.

- What was that? - Um...

Will you go out with me tonight?

Michigan State, MIT

Harvard University

Vassar, Wallesley, Smith and Brown

Shaking up This here town tonight

Starting tonight

Have a ball, do it all starting tonight

Grab your partner by the hand

Spread a blanket on the sand

Three a. m. Go for a swim

- Clothes and all jump right in tonight Ahh

Starting tonight

Pull out the stops Call the cops

All right

Because when the cops Have come and gone

You just keep carrying on

Don't you worry if you land in jail

We'll forward your mail If you can't make bail tonight

- Starting tonight - Ahhh

Have a ball, do it all starting tonight

Anything goes

Everything goes

Starting tonight

Starting tonight

Hey, Rusty, how's about "Wolf Call"?

Go on out. See if you can't flush us out a few quail.

You watch me. Watch me. Hit it.

Flip flop a ky-yi

- Ooh - What a cutie-pie I see

Yeah, yeah

Oop shoop a doo-wa Lips of honey that's for me

Yeah, yeah

Shim sham shimmy Wanna howl and shout

I'm out to get you, baby There's no doubt

- I saw you standing against the wall - Wall

- I whistled and gave my all - All

Now don't tell me you don't fall

For that wolf call

- Just a little kiss'll put me in a whirl Ooh ooh

I'll never whistle, baby, at another girl

If you love me Well, we'll have a ball

Ball

Why do you try to stall?

- Stall - Now don't tell me you don't fall

For that wolf call

For that wolf call

For that wolf call

- For that wolf call - Woo ahh

Woo ahhh

Woo ahhh

- Why don't you take me away from this? - Hmm.

- I wouldn't know what to do with you. - I'll think of something.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Ain't that her?

- It can't be. - Yeah, but it is.

Well, there goes our evening.

Aren't we leaving?

Who's she with?

Oh, that's okay, fellas. I think she's with the brain.

Oh, yeah. The guy that likes the mental types.

She couldn't be safer, believe me.

- Will someone please tell me what this...? - Oh, it's nothing.

I think you said something about getting out of here.

Okay?

- Hi, pal. - Hi. Oh, hi, hi.

Valerie, this is my friend, Romano Orlatti, from school.

But he's an exchange student from Rome, Italy.

- Would you care to join us? - I really can't.

Tell me, is this your first day in Lauderdale?

- Yes, yes, it is. Isn't it wonderful? - It's beginning to be.

Romano. Romano, she's my date.

Of course, of course, my friend.

- What is it? - You're very warm. You feel all right?

- Oh, oh, fine, fine. - You do, huh? Perhaps it's nothing.

Then again, there is an awful lot of it going around.

An awful lot.

I see you've been in the sun.

- But have you seen the moon? - What have I got?

- What have I got? - Stand back a little more.

It's very contagious.

You should be home in bed.

Yeah.

Where were we? Oh, yes. The moon.

We have an old saying:

Isn't that marvelous? Hmm? Oh, it's marvelous.

Let's take this phone off the hook

Turn the lights way down low

Baby, put down that book

Tell the maid to go

Do not disturb

Hang a sign on the door

Do not disturb It's time to make love

And I can't wait

Anymore

I'll just pull down the blinds

Now come over here

I got one thing in mind

Let's get comfortable, dear

Do not disturb

Hang a sign on the door

Do not disturb It's time to make love

And I can't wait

Anymore

Everything is right tonight

Mmm It's great when we kiss

Now your arms hold me tight

Let's stay like this

Mmm mmm Mmm mmm

You'd better answer it.

Yeah.

Hello?

Chicago?

Oh, Mr. Frank. I just called Valerie and nobody even answers the phone.

Where is she this time of the night?

If anything happens to her, your next engagement will be at the hospital.

Oh, there's nothing to worry about.

You see, she's with this very nice young gentleman from Princeton.

They stopped at the library.

- And she'll be back any... - Could I borrow...

Shh. I'm talking long distance.

She's perfectly safe, sir. Perfectly safe.

Okay. But I'm gonna call back in a half-hour, she better be there.

Well, she'll be here, sir. Absolutely. Yes, sir. Goodbye, Mr. Frank.

Could I borrow a thermometer, please?

Where is she? The girl you were with at the club?

- Oh, Valerie? Well, I left her with Romano. - Yeah, Valerie.

Oh, who... Who... Oh... Oh, who's Romano?

Romano Orlatti. He's a friend of mine.

Nothing special. Very shallow intellect.

- In fact, a bore. - Oh.

All he ever thinks of is sex.

Well, you know those Latins.

Well, where'd they go?

Well, I think he has a boat at Coral Pier.

- Coral Pier? - But my thermometer.

- Your thermometer. - My thermometer.

- Coral Pier. Coral Pier. - My thermometer.

I'll be right back. Keep your motor running.

Mayday. Mayday.

Mayday. Mayday.

Mayday. Let's go. Come on.

Whoa.

Look, we're running and he wants to play boats.

Come on.

Whoo!

- Ah. Isn't it marvelous here? - Oh, it's lovely.

It's absolutely lovely.

Oh, it's getting a bit chilly, isn't it?

Shall we step inside for a fresh supply of the bubbly?

Whoo!

Oh, thank you.

To us.

Alone.

And, at last, that's what we are.

Alone.

Oh.

Hello, operator?

Operator. Long distance.

Put that call from Chicago on this line, please. Thank you.

Come on. Come on. Hurry up. Let's go.

Hello.

Hello, Val. Val, are you there?

What is this? This is Chicago calling.

Val. Val, hello.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Daddy-O. How are you?

Oh, I'm fine.

In fact, everything here is just wonderful.

Oh, yes. Yeah, I just got home.

Listen. I'm fine, and everything here is just fine.

So you just stop all that worrying about me.

Yeah, I'm a big girl.

Good night, Daddy.

And good night to you too, Romano.

I had a lovely evening and thanks for seeing me home.

- Hik! - Home?

Deena?

Deena.

I'm glad you waited for me.

What are you doing here?

Well, I had to wait. You never gave me the thermometer.

Thermometer. Where's Deena?

Oh, Deena. Well, she left.

- But she left a message for you. - A message, huh?

Huh? Huh?

Got the same message, myself.

Delivered personally.

Are we gonna have to chase after her every night?

Relax. This won't happen again.

- Yeah? - We're gonna stop anything before it starts.

We're going on 24 hour-a-day guard duty.

No matter what she does, where she goes, we'll watch her.

Romano's grandfather, Count Orlatti, married a Spanish princess.

- He's royalty. - Wow.

You know, I went with this senior from Purdue to a really lush restaurant.

Well, I felt terrible.

I was sure it was going to be frightfully expensive.

You know what? It wasn't bad at all.

The whole evening only cost me eight dollars.

You're kidding.

These Cornell fellas took us to some awful place.

You know, one of those after hours places, all dark inside.

With couples snuggling every place, just terrible.

Hmm.

Never had such a great time in all my life.

You know, I've got the funniest feeling somebody's staring at us.

They better be...

...or I'll take back this bathing suit. - Uh-huh.

No, I don't mean like that.

I mean, really staring.

Boy, the beach sure is crowded, huh, Andy?

Not half as crowded as that bathing suit.

Huh?

- Hey, you're looking the wrong way. - Heh. That's what you think.

Yeah, but you're supposed to be watching the girls.

What is that, a pelican?

Romano.

Fine.

- Romano, this is Laurie and Betsy. - Hello.

- Hello. - Hi, girls. How are you?

You know, Doc, in the next life I'd like to come back as a beach towel.

Oh, I'm in love.

If all goes well, by tomorrow morning, we should be picking out the furniture.

Big Frank wasn't kidding about watching his daughter.

One slip-up and pow, he'll kill us.

Maybe something worse.

Oh, murder.

Hey, he's there with her.

- The guy from the boat, Old Captain Blood. - What?

Hey, they're leaving. We gotta get Wilbur quick, we gotta follow them.

Do you know we could have had something beautiful together? Ah!

They've been in there 20 minutes already.

Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?

Well, they ain't waterskiing.

When this gets back to Big Frank...

Oh, no. I'm too young to...

Yeah, well, just go get Rusty, will you? Quick. Come on.

Sorry I ran away last night, but it was an emergency.

- Wilbur had to have a blood transfusion. - I'm not used to being abandoned.

- It won't happen again. - Oh.

I can explain about last night

Though things didn't look just right

Please believe me There was nothing wrong

I thought about you, baby, all night long

Cross my heart

I hope to die

Well, I wouldn't tell you no lie

Talk about a piece of rotten luck

You do a friend a favor And you wind up stuck

She couldn't hold a candle to you No, siree

Very hard to handle like a model T

Cross my heart I hope to die

Well, I wouldn't tell you no lie

Please believe me when I say

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

I'm here 'cause I don't have to look too hard

To see what I got In my own backyard, so

Be forgiving and forget

Don't say my alibi is all wet

I'll miss those kisses From your honeycomb

This humble bumblebee Just wants to fly back home

I cross my heart I hope to die

Well, I wouldn't tell you no lie

I wouldn't tell you no lie No, no, no, no, no, no

I wouldn't tell you no lie

There'll be no more interruptions. I promise, okay?

Okay.

Psst. Psst.

Hey. Hey. Psst.

The motel, Valerie and the hot lips.

What about Deena?

What...?

What kept you? They're still in the room.

We gotta get Romeo out, or we're in trouble.

- We're in big trouble. - Shh.

- Big Frank will bend us. - Cool it.

- Where's the manager? - Where?

- I demand to see the manager. - It's about time you got here.

- What is it? - I'll get out of this love nest.

I thought you ran a respectable place.

- But I do. It is. What's wrong? - She has a man in her room.

- She has a what in her where? - She has a man in her room.

Don't look. He's too young. I can't let him look.

I promised his father, Detective Springer. I can't let him look.

D- d-d-d-detec... Tec... Oh. Oh, oh, no, no, no, no.

Out. Out. Everyone out.

Let's go. Move. Now. Fast. Out. Out.

- What is it? - You've broken article 3.

We absolutely do not permit any toys in the room.

Uh, boys in the pool. Do you have a boy in that pool...?

You... I might have known.

Off the property. Go. Immediately. Now.

- Off. Move fast. - But this is an outrage.

Too late to apologize. Out.

Well, what's wrong?

- What's the matter? - We were only playing Bridge.

Bridge.

Never mind. I want the three of you...

...out of this motel immediately. - Ahem.

- What's the trouble? - Well, you see these three young...

- Uh... Uh... You just... - All we were doing was playing Bridge.

- What's wrong? - They broke the rules.

Article 3, Sub-Paragraph B. "Thou shall not have a boy in the room. "

They were playing Bridge. That wasn't a boy. That's a fourth.

- That wasn't a boy? - Right.

I wouldn't blame them if they insist on leaving.

- We're all gonna leave. Make up 31 bills. - Thirty-one? You mean everyone?

Right. Drain the pool. This place'll be a parking lot.

Drain the pool... Parking lot, 31 bills.

Oh. Oh, my. No, let's just forget this whole affair, shall we?

I don't know. I don't know.

Let's think it over. What do you say?

- Oh. - Hmm...

- It's fine by me. - Heh.

You're very generous. If it happens again...

I know, 31 bills, a parking lot...

...drain the pool, toys in the... - Mm-hm.

Well, thank you very much, Rusty.

If we can ever return the favor.

- Thank you. - Uh-huh.

Fantastic. Fantastic.

- I'm glad you liked it, boys. - Yeah, but what about later?

I mean, how're we gonna watch her tonight when we're on-stage at the club?

You said something about a favor.

We've been thinking about adding to the act. See...

She'll tell you that she loves you

Make you feel just like a king

She'll cry to you and lie to you She'll do most anything

She'll get right up next to you And the first thing that you know

You'll be telling her You're sorry 'cause she hurt you so

- I said she's evil She's evil

Yes, she's evil - The most evil girl I found

Yes, she's evil Yes, she's evil

There ain't no doubt about it

She's the meanest girl in town

Yes, she's evil Yes, she's evil

She'll invite you over to her house At half past 9

You'll wear a suit and you'll wear a tie You'll give you shoes a shine

You'll take a real deep breath

And knock on her front door

But her little sister will tell you She don't live here anymore

- I said she's evil - Yes, she's evil

- Yes, she's evil - The most evil girl I found

Yes, she's evil

- Yes, she's evil - There ain't no doubt about it

- The meanest girl in town - Yes, she's evil

Yes, she's evil

She'll put her arms around you And squeeze with all her might

She'll breathe a sigh And pucker her lips

And close her eyes real tight Your heart will pound like thunder

You'll melt in her embrace

But when you go to kiss her Why, she'll laugh right in your face

- Because she's evil - Yes, she's evil

- Yes, she's evil - The most evil girl I found

Yes, she's evil Yes, she's evil

There ain't no doubt about it

- She's the meanest girl in town - Yes, she's evil

Yes, she's evil Yes, she's evil

Yes, she's evil Yes, she's evil

Yes, she's evil Yes, she's evil

Yes, she's evil Yes, she's evil

- How about that? - Real good. You were great out there.

- Thank you. - I appreciate your help.

It was fun.

I'd better change my outfit. I'll see you all tomorrow night.

- Okay. - Bye.

- Goodbye. - You're real show people.

Hold it, hold it, hold it. Back, back, back.

- What? What? - Who's gonna stay here and protect her?

I'm no good at protecting girls. I'm too well trained the other way.

- You take Wilbur here. - Wait a minute.

No. I'm no watch dog. I'm a hunting dog. How about him?

Why don't you stay?

I gotta explain things to Deena tonight.

If you can be with your girl, how come I can't be with mine?

With Deena, it's different. I'm in love.

He's in love until she says no.

No. Even if she said no, I'd still be in love with her.

- I'd miss her, but I'd still love her. - Heh.

- No, that ain't right. - No.

Okay, okay. I'll be fair. We'll have a drawing.

- What? - A drawing.

The loser stays here on duty. Okay.

What number am I thinking of?

- Is it seven? - Huh?

- Two. - Six.

I'll say 10. The number was six.

I'm sorry, Doc, you lose.

Uh... Ahem.

When she comes out, you take her for a walk. Anything.

Don't let her out of your sight because if you do... Got it?

Don't have to worry. She won't get away from old hawk-eye here.

- It's simple, Deena. - Simple, huh?

Me? I'm the one that's simple, for ever listening to you.

Leaving me out there in that jungle, that way.

Come here, Deena.

No, leave me alone.

I'm very angry with you.

Yeah, I know.

Running out on me.

I'm not running now.

There'll be no more interruptions, okay?

- Promise? - Promise.

Oh, uh...

Psst.

Psst.

Psst.

It's for you.

- They said your line wasn't working. - It hasn't had a chance.

Now, what is it?

Hey, she got away. In fact, she wasn't even here.

- You're kidding. Oh, no, it's the truth.

But that's not all. She went with that Italian hot lips.

Bert, here, saw them leave. Right, right, Bert?

I can't do anything. I'm here with Deena.

- Deena? - Don't look at me. I didn't take her.

Look, Doc, we gotta find her. I'll be right over.

Mayday. Mayday.

Mayday.

Come on, let's go.

You and your lousy mayday.

Hey, hey, what do you read?

I got just what you need

I got a lot of things I wanna get off my chest

Come and get the latest It's hot off the press

Read, read Improve your education

I got news for you Two, three, four

Let me show you some more

She's... She's fantastic.

Oh, you'll have to meet her. Oh, Sunny's really way out.

Man of 90 marries girl of 21

He may not last much longer But he's having fun

Won't you increase my circulation

I've got news for you, oh

Start the generator.

- Hey, did you see her? - Nope. Now swing it over here.

I think we just set togetherness back 10 years.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to...

I mean, go right ahead and...

Well, nobody here.

It's deserted.

Hey, how about in there?

Okay, everybody out, this is the police.

Hey, I'm looking for a girl.

Sorry, buddy, I don't have a spare.

Pardon me, but is there anybody in the trunk?

Oh.

But I say taking off your clothes is a form of self-improvement.

You know, like playing the piano.

It gives the girls poise and self-confidence and...

- Pneumonia? Ha-ha-ha.

Pneumonia. You know, you really ought to try it.

You sure got the build for it. Why don't you come on over some time?

I'll give you a few pointers.

Did you ever study dancing?

Oh, modern dancing but not this modern.

Well, it's getting late. We'd better take off.

- Okay. - Yeah, and I gotta do likewise.

Well, so long. Come in again anytime.

- Oh, thank you. - All right, we will.

And the next place, you'll really like.

- No luck. - Well, Big Frank's not going to like this.

Is that something? Tonight she starts living and we stop.

Well, the next sound you'll hear will be the Chicago piano.

Oh, no, no. Let's try something else.

If we can't find her, let's see if she can find us, huh?

Hey, there's a nice, quiet little place.

What's that?

Oh, it's a beach party. Come on.

But...

Hey, everybody, gather around

Listen to that bongo sound

Grab the first one in your reach

Now we're gonna shake the beach

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Do the clam

Do the clam

Grab your barefoot baby by the hand

Turn and tease, hug and squeeze

- Dig right in and do the clam Clam

You can't get your heart to spin

On the outside looking in

Moon ain't gonna last all night

Well, let's work up an appetite

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Do the clam Do the clam

Well, grab your barefoot baby By the hand

Turn and tease Hug and squeeze

Dig right in and do the clam

Everybody's got that beat

Everybody's got that beat

- Listen to those happy feet - Listen to those happy feet

- Ain't you glad that you found out - Ain't you glad that you found out?

- What the clam is all about - Yeah, yeah, yeah

Do the clam, do the clam

Come on, grab your barefoot baby By the hand

Turn and tease, hug and squeeze

- Dig right in and do the clam - Yeah, yeah, yeah

Do the clam, do the clam

Go on, grab your barefoot baby By the hand

Turn and tease, hug and squeeze

Dig right in and do the clam

Dig right in and do the clam

Great idea. Why didn't you tell me you were gonna be playing out here?

- Well, we took up so much of your time. - Oh.

I thought you might have a date.

Well, I...

I guess you're anxious to get back to him. So I'll see you tomorrow.

Good night.

Good night.

I thought you were looking for your date.

My date.

Well, I...

I, uh...

Ha-ha-ha. Who said I had a date?

I just came out here alone. Ha-ha-ha.

Oh.

In that case, I guess I'll take you home.

- Okay? - Okay.

I've become a puppet on a string

You can do

Most anything with me

All you do is touch my hand

And your wish is my command

I've become a puppet on a string

And you can do

Most anything with me

If you really love me

Darling, please be kind

I offer you the truest love

That you will ever find

Take my heart and please be fair

Handle it with loving care

For I'm just a puppet on a string

And you can do

Most anything with me

Well, good night.

Good night.

- Rusty. - Yeah.

L...

I have a confession to make.

- I did have a date tonight. - Hmm.

With Romano.

But I'm glad he ran off.

- Val. - Yes?

Your phone.

Good night.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Daddy.

No, everything's fine.

Daddy, everything's absolutely divine.

I'm having the most wonderful time of my entire life.

May I come in?

That was my father on the phone.

He calls me every single night.

You know how fathers worry about daughters.

But he wouldn't have to if he knew what nice people I've met here.

- Oh. But look, Val... - Hush up, please.

I've started my pretty little speech and I'm going to finish it.

Well, what I'm trying to say is...

Well, you've made everything wonderful.

I mean, you've been thoughtful and attentive...

You kept us from being put out of the motel.

And you brought me into your band and when I was left stranded on the beach...

Well, just everywhere I've gone you've been nearby to help out...

...just to see that I had a nice time.

There's something you don't understand.

Oh, I do understand.

I'm just afraid you're going to have to face the horrible fact...

...that you're very nice and very special.

Good night.

Hey, Linda, excuse me.

Oh, hey, Linda.

Ahem. Hey, honey? How are you? I'm awful sorry about last night.

- That's all right, it all evens out. - Does it?

You left me then and I'll leave you now.

No, wait, Linda!

You know it wasn't my fault.

Come on, honey, just give me one more chance.

- Yeah, but, Nancy... - Sorry, Doc.

I'd rather go out with someone who's more dependable.

There's another guy, huh?

If I get my hands on him, I'll break him in three.

Hi, baby.

Oh, Charlie.

Charlie.

Hey, Rusty, that Valerie dame's gotta go.

- You have to get rid of her some way. - Hmm?

I can't take it anymore.

This is more than you can expect of any decent self-respecting sex maniac.

We've been here two nights already, I haven't even been slapped once.

- There's nothing we can do about it. - Sure, there is.

Call Frank. Tell him his daughter shouldn't be here.

I can't do it.

- Why not? - I just can't. Big Frank might not like it.

- He'd appreciate it. - He'd be crazy about it.

- Lf you're chicken, I'll go phone myself. - I said it's too risky.

Look, uh, I want you guys to have a good time.

So you go make your dates and I'll take over the chaperone job, full time.

Why are you doing this?

I got you guys into this mess, so I should take some of the beating.

You go have fun, and I'll stick it out with old what's-her-name.

- You really mean that? - Sure.

You know, you're gonna lose out with Deena.

Yeah, I know. Don't remind me.

That's the price I'll have to pay, then.

Tough one.

Poor guy.

Here we're gonna have fun, you know, a real ball and him...?

He's in for nothing but a long week of solid misery.

Come on, Doc, I get with it, will you?

Man, I don't feel like it.

All I can think of is poor Rusty.

You know, for us, he's going through living torture.

Mm.

- What's the matter with you two guys? - It's no good, we can't enjoy ourselves.

All that goes through my mind is poor Rusty...

...wandering around out there somewhere, suffering.

Hey, hey.

That's what Rusty passed up just so we could have fun.

Somehow, we gotta make this up to him.

For all the misery he's going through.

If you really love me

Darling, please be kind

I offer you the truest love

That you will ever find

Take my heart and please be fair

Handle it with loving care

For I'm just a puppet on a string

You can do

Most anything with me

You can do most anything

With me

- I don't believe it. - It's true.

It's true. Ever since you ditched Rusty, he's been going straight downhill.

I'm sorry, but I just don't believe it.

It's pitiful, just pitiful. He's eating his heart out for you.

All he does is mope around all day. He hasn't shaved in days.

We hid his razor. We don't trust him with the blades.

- We had to hide his belt. - His belt?

If he really feels that way about it, why didn't he come here and tell me himself?

Well, he couldn't come out. His eyes.

- His eyes? - Yeah, all red.

- It's pitiful. - Been crying a lot.

So please, look, if we can get him to just call you, be kind.

You mean so much to him.

I think he loves you.

Hey.

Your bag.

Oh, yes, my bag.

- Will I see you tonight? - I think you'll probably see me tonight.

I'll order some food and we'll have supper in my room. Okay?

That's a deal. Just give me a second.

One second.

Hey.

Your bag.

Yes. Thank you.

- Greetings from the welcome wagon. - Ha...

- Look, but... - Are you surprised to see me?

Oh, the boys explained everything to me.

I wanted to call you before you could call me.

They did? I mean, you didn't...

I thought we'd celebrate our reunion with a little private supper.

I can't. You see, I'm on a diet. I'm on a diet.

Aww.

But there must be something here that you might like...

- Could we do it another night? - But it's ready now.

And everything might get cold.

Well, I like leftovers.

It's just fine with me, you know. I think it's better that way, anyway.

Huh. Huh.

- Come on. - Oh.

- No, not there. - What are you looking for?

- Oh, uh... - Oh!

- Say, you are a tiger, aren't you? - You wait right here.

Now, you just give me a minute to slip out of my suntan lotion.

I'll be right back.

I didn't realize I was so tired. Maybe I should take a nap instead, huh?

Oh, how did you get it here so fast?

- It was... It was delivered. - Oh.

There's a draft in here.

Oh, what's this? Delicious.

Well, you've had enough. Come now.

Are you kidding? I'm starving.

- Look, why don't we eat out on the terrace? - No, no, no, out front, it's warmer.

- I mean, it's colder. It's... - Ah.

- How about the champagne? - Champagne? Okay, I'll get it.

All right.

What's keeping you? - Ah.

Why are you going out there?

I had to put the cat out.

- What happened to the chicken? - Oh, the chicken. It was tasty.

Very, very tasty. Heh.

- You ate all the chicken? - I had a small lunch.

Uh-huh. Since you seem to be more interested in food than in me...

...perhaps I should be running along. - Yeah, fine. No, no, you can't. No, no.

Well, what I mean is, you know, the shock of seeing you here.

It was like having Christmas eight months early.

Well...

Well, if you really feel that way about it, why don't we go back out on the terrace?

Okay.

Oh, uh...

- Did you forget the champagne? - Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll get it.

Yeah, I'll get it.

Ah!

I'll be right back, huh.

Are you coming?

Heh. Yeah. In just a minute, just a minute.

- Okay? - All right.

Here's your drink.

Evaporation?

I'll get another.

Rusty.

Oh. Heh, heh. Mmm.

Rust...

Val.

Call for you.

Your father. - Oh.

Oh.

- Heh, heh. See you in a few minutes.

- There it is. - Thank you.

Hello.

Hello, Daddy.

How's everything going? Are you having a good time?

Good. It's glorious.

Oh, Daddy, I'm so happy I came down here.

I have met the most wonderful boy in the whole world.

I think even you would approve of him.

Yeah? Who is he? What's he do? What's his name?

Rusty Wells.

- Who? - Rusty Wells.

Rusty Wells?

And he's being nice to you?

The reason he's nice to you is because that's what I sent him down there for.

You did what?

Oh. Oh, Daddy, you couldn't have.

You're paying him to be with me?

What's wrong, Val?

Are you all right?

Daddy, why?

Look, Daddy, I just don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Honey, listen.

Oh, please, Daddy. Not now.

Val, are you all right?

Well...

As long as he's getting paid to be my chaperone...

...he's gonna start earning his money.

Who are you calling?

Hello. Hello, Romano?

Hi, this is Val.

What are you doing tonight?

Oh, anything is fine with me, as long as it's wild.

- Let's go high. Let's... Another all around. - Waiter.

Stop, please. People are beginning to stare.

Well, one more won't hurt. She's enjoying herself.

Besides, what do we care?

We have a chaperone. Let him worry about us.

- Hey, what's the rumble? - They got a swinging deal going...

...at the Kit Kat Klub. Va-va-va-boom!

Hey, hey, what do you read?

I've got just what you need

I got a lot of things I wanna get off my chest

Come and get the latest Da da da dum

Dum dum Da da da da da dum

I've got news for you

Take it off, honey.

Hey Da da da dum

Whoo Dum dum da da da dum

Dum dum da da da dum

Whoo Dum dum da da da dum

Dum dum doo doo Doo doo doo doo

I've got news for you Two, three, four

Whoo!

What do you think you're doing? Let's get out of here.

Boy Scout, you've been in my hair all week. Why don't you get out?

Val?

What do you think you're doing? Come on. Let's get out of here.

What are you doing? What's the matter?

My father is paying you to take care of me. I think he ought to get more for his money.

Hey, the cops.

What happened?

Mice?

Rusty.

Hey, Rusty.

Halt! Halt! We're friends.

Where's Val? Is she all right?

Yeah. She's all right but we won't be as soon as Big Frank gets wind of this.

I'm not worried about Big Frank. I gotta find her and explain.

- What do you gotta explain? - Wait a minute.

How come all of a sudden you're so worried about her?

No.

It can't be.

You mean, he and she...?

The king is dead.

You mean, you and her... They're...

- I gotta find her, anyway. - That ain't gonna be no problem.

- I know just where she is. - She's in jail.

Come on now. Settle down. Settle down.

I mean that. I mean it, look.

You'll be in here for the rest of the night. Might as well get used to it.

Well, aren't you gonna tuck us in?

Yeah!

Shut up.

We'd appreciate it if you could release Miss Valerie Frank.

You see, him and her...

Innocent bystanders Saw the whole thing myself.

- A simple case of habeas corpus. - Oh, hold, hold it. Hold it.

Now, which one of you gentleman is the parent or legal guardian?

Out. Out. Get out. Get out of here. Clear out.

Ahh.

I gotta talk to her now.

Yeah. When she gets out of there she ain't never gonna let you near her again.

I don't know how you're gonna do it.

How do you get inside a jail? I mean, what's the easiest way?

You get arrested, right?

I don't think the lieutenant is gonna like it.

A night in the pokey'll do them good.

Okay, sarge, but you don't find this cookie making any arrests. No, sir, not me.

Oh, officer, someone let the air out of your tire.

- Now, who would do a thing like that? - Heh.

I can't tell a lie. It was I.

I'll go along peacefully.

No need of that.

I guess boys will be boys.

I can't help it. I'm a compulsive vandal.

A delinquent.

I should be put away.

Look, I won't fight you.

- I won't fight you. - Now, just a minute.

There's no real harm done.

Stop worrying, kid.

I promise not to lock you up.

One more thing, officer. I put sand in your helmet.

Fort Lauderdale. The friendly city.

Fort Lauderdale is a friendly city.

Oh.

Fort Lauderdale is a friendly city.

- Over here, Joe. Hey, hey. Hi, Rusty, how are you?

Hey, Rusty. How did you get out?

What, out? He's trying to get in.

You mean you wanna be in jail?

It's to see a girl.

Yeah, but he can't get in. It's impossible.

Interesting problem. Very interesting.

A jailbreak going the other way.

Weren't they digging up that street back there?

- Yeah, so? So, we've got equipment.

- Those girls give you any trouble? - They're quiet and sleepy.

Speak up, I can't hear you.

Everything's fine.

- What's all the racket? - I guess they're fixing the streets.

- They're what? - They're fixing the streets out there.

Fixing the street...

...at night?

Yeah, I guess all those college kids get in the way during the daytime.

Let's go, come on. We don't have all night.

Come on.

Come on, you guys, move it along here.

You're doing all right. But I don't see any sweat.

Yeah. Come on, men.

Hey.

Hey, Rusty.

Hey, where is everybody?

Where's my daughter?

Golly, sir, I promise that nothing...

Relax, that's not my father.

Val.

Val.

Oh, Val.

Now, what's going on out here?

Good evening, sir. I'm sorry, no vacancies.

Perhaps next week. Here, take one of our brochures.

I'm looking for Valerie Frank.

Oh, yes, Miss Frank... Oh, my gosh, sir, you're the detective?

- This matter's been straightened out. - Not a detective. I'm her father.

Her father.

Oh, well, Miss Frank's a delightful girl. A good Bridge player too.

- Lovely game Bridge. Do you play? - Where is she?

I couldn't possibly say. At the civic center, the concert... A lovely girl.

She isn't here. Is that it?

I've just been informed that she's in jail.

In jail. Jail?

How do I know you're her father?

What do I look like, her mother?

I want my daughter out of there now. Get the key.

Sign the custody receipt.

Let me tell you this. If she was a daughter of mine, I...

The key.

Miss Frank.

Valerie Frank.

Valerie Frank.

Come on.

He's there. Cave it in.

Isn't it romantic?

Rusty and Val, together again, at last.

In jail.

Hey, who...? Who's that?

Hey.

- Get back in there. - Val.

Oh.

Well, if it isn't the three mouseketeers.

Where's the fourth, my friend, the spy in the sky?

Cashing his paychecks?

Rusty? Well, he's not here.

If you knew the trouble that he went through...

- You don't understand. - Oh, oh, I do understand.

I just hope that he understands that I never wanna see him again.

Yeah, but he's...

Val.

It's Big Frank.

If I get ahold of that Rusty character, I'm gonna break his neck.

Val.

Val, where are you?

It's getting late, George. You better go home.

Val.

Hey, Val.

Oh, darling.

I was looking for somebody else. I'm sorry.

So am I.

This necessarily has to be Valerie that you want?

Where is she?

She was sprung, just a few minutes ago.

I don't think she'll be back.

She's not here?

Did somebody call for room service?

Hey, how did you get in here?

- The boys dug a tunnel. Shh!

- The boys? Then, there's more? - Shh.

- Oh, boys. Fellas, men, fellas. Shh.

- Shh. - Hey, fellas. Come on up.

- Shh. - Fellas.

Hey.

- There're no fellas down there. Oh.

They caved in the tunnel.

What am I gonna do? I'm stuck.

So, it will be in the papers in the morning, huh?

That's good.

Yes, you can say that the arrests were made by me, personally.

Sergeant Benson.

B- E-N-S-O... Bye.

Who's the lame brain that's been making arrests on the group plan?

- Wait... - Everyone's been calling.

The mayor, the Chamber of Commerce, the newspapers.

Sounds like one of your bright ideas.

- You see... - How many did you run in?

- Forty-six. - Forty-six?

What are you doing?

- Competing with Sing-Sing? - No, sir.

Next thing you'll be arresting women.

- Twenty. - Oh, no.

- How many children? Ooh. - None.

How did you miss out on that? You're slipping, Benson.

- Well, you see, sir... - Release them.

- What? - Now.

You get in there, too.

All right, all right.

All right. I've got good news for you.

- You're all free to go. Oh.

Yeah, come on.

Come on, out.

Oh, we...

Well, come on. Come on.

Come here. I wanna talk to you.

- All right. Come here, girls.

Will you stop pushing? Well, hold it, honey.

It will just take a minute.

- Come on. I tell you, you can get out now. Just a minute.

Yeah. Mm-hm. Get up.

What do you want me to do, throw you out?

- It's highly personal. - Come on.

We'll be right with you.

Let's get out of this place. The room service is lousy.

- Thanks for a lovely evening. - Come on.

- Move out. - So long, officer.

Come on, move, move. Step out.

- Goodbye, daddy. - Come on, this is no picnic.

Move on. Move on.

That's the fastest I've ever seen anybody get out of a dress.

Professional training.

Come on.

You know something? Without makeup, these college girls ain't much.

For my money, all those college kids are for nothing.

Would you mind getting my purse, please?

Purse?

Oh.

Oh, where is it?

It's a little over to the right.

What?

Yeah, over there.

Thank you, officer.

All right, you guys, let's go.

Beat it, girlie.

- Rusty? - Rusty?

Rusty, come on.

Val's not there.

Yeah, we know. Big Frank got her out already.

Big Frank? Is he here?

He sure is.

They must be at the motel. I'll see you later.

Rusty? I'm afraid you're wasting your time.

Why, what?

Well, you might as well know.

We talked to her when she came out of the jail.

And, man, she really lowered the boom on you.

Believe me, Rusty, she meant it.

You're dead.

Well, I guess if it's over, it's over.

Let's go back to work.

Come on.

Maybe I shouldn't be sore.

Maybe we should go out and celebrate.

It isn't often that I travel 2000 miles to get my daughter out of jail.

Big pleasure for a parent.

Daddy, please, don't you think I feel bad enough?

To think that I was getting to like that Rusty kid.

I'm gonna fix him but good. The whole thing's his fault.

It's not all his fault. He was only doing what you told him to do.

- Why are you sticking up for him? - I'm not sticking up for him, I hate him.

Daddy, why couldn't you trust me?

I wanted so much to be on my own.

Why did you feel you had to pay somebody to take me out?

To sing to me and to say all those thing and to kiss me?

I didn't.

All I told him was to keep an eye on you.

Maybe be a little nice, but kisses? That nice I didn't tell him.

It's just possible that he could've been doing this on his own time.

Oh, I can't believe that.

As I remember kisses if they're still the way they used to be...

...it takes two parties to make them work right.

Maybe you don't hate him as much as you think.

Maybe he don't exactly hate you, either.

Well, it really doesn't matter. I never wanna see him again anyway.

- Rusty. - Val, you'll never guess what happened, I...

- Oh, hello, Mr. Frank. - Mr. Frank.

Hello.

- Is anything wrong, Mr. Frank? - Hmm?

Yeah. Hmm.

But it might be fixable.

I gotta find my baby

I wonder where can she be If anybody's seen her

Send her back to me She left me here

All alone

And I ain't had no loving

Hey, hey, hey

Since my baby's been gone

My baby's gone

Gone Gone

Gone Gone

Whoo!

I gotta find my baby

I gotta hold her tight And tell her I love her

That everything's all right So I'll keep searching

All night long

Because I ain't had no loving

Hey, hey, hey

Since my baby's been gone

My baby's gone

Gone, gone, gone, gone

I gotta find my baby

I gotta find my baby

I gotta find my baby

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Thank you. Thank you. Well, that's about it, folks.

The last song and the last night of another Fort Lauderdale vacation.

And I see that once again, we've come down here by one's and we leave by two's.

It has been sociable, don't you think?

So, until next year, goodbye and good luck.

Hey, Rusty.

Hey, how about "Wolf Call"? Come on.

I've given up the mental types. This is for me.

Not much upstairs but what a staircase.

- Mmm. - Mmm. Mm!

I'm paying you to watch her, ain't I?

So why don't you get to work?

Girl happy

Girl happy

Girl happy

Girl happy Girl, girl happy

- Every time I see a pretty face - Girl happy

Girl, girl happy

- My heart just heads for outer space - Girl happy

Girl, girl happy

I need a girl to make my life worth living

- Yes, I'm girl happy - Girl happy

- Yes, I'm girl happy - Girl happy

- Girl happy, can't you see? - Girl happy

Girl, girl happy

I've been like this Since I was just a baby boy

First nurse that rocked my cradle Made me jump for joy

- Girl happy, well, I'm girl happy - Girl happy

- Yes, I'm girl happy - Girl happy

- Can't you see? - Girl happy

Girl, girl happy Girl happy

Yes, I'm girl happy

Yes, I'm girl happy