Original subtitles

FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE DIVIDE

BUT HOW WOULD THE UNIVERSE SURVIVE?

DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24th AND 1/2 CENTURY

PROTECTING THE POWERLESS AND THE WEAK

DUCK DODGERS IS FIGHTING TYRANNY

IN THE 24th

AND 1/2 CENTURY

- THAT, MY PIG, IS LIFOMATICA, A DIGITAL LIFESTYLE SYSTEM

THAT TAKES ALL THE WORK OUT OF DAILY LIFE.

(CRASH)

(CHICKEN CLUCKS)

(POPPING)

THAT GETS OLD QUICK.

LET'S HOOK UP LIFOMATICA.

- UH, UH, SORRY. IT'S JUST THOSE BUBBLES.

(CRASH)

SHOULD WE TEST IT OUT?

- LATER. ALL THIS WORK'S MADE ME HUNGRY.

I NEED TO SANDWICH UP.

- HELLO, CAPTAIN DODGERS.

- WHOA, OH, OH, OH!

- I AM LIFOMATICA, THE DIGITAL LIFESTYLE SYSTEM

DESIGNED TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER.

- SO HOW ARE YOU WITH HOAGIES?

THIS IS THE LIFE, EH, CADET?

HOW DID WE SURVIVE WITHOUT LIFOMATICA?

WE WERE LIVING LIKE...LIKE SAVAGES!

- I'VE HEARD THERE ARE STILL SOME PEOPLE

THAT DON'T HAVE L-UH-LIFOMATICA.

- I SHOULD THROW A LIFOMATICA PARTY

TO SHOW PEOPLE HOW INCREDIBLE I AM.

- YOU MEAN, HOW INCREDIBLE LIFOMATICA IS.

- YEAH. HIM, TOO, I SUPPOSE.

I THINK I'LL EVEN INVITE SOME OF THEM MARTIANS.

WHEN THEY SEE LIFOMATICA, THEY'LL TURN GREEN WITH ENVY.

GET IT? IT'S A JOKE.

BECAUSE MARTIANS ARE ALREADY GREEN. HA!

- M-MARTIANS AREN'T GREEN, SIR.

- BOY, I REALLY NEED TO DO SOMETHING

ABOUT THIS COLORBLINDNESS.

SHEESH! YOU LOOKED BETTER WHEN YOU WERE BLUE.

- HMM. BILL, BILL. WHAT'S THIS?

"YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED

"TO THE FUTURE IS DODGERS,

"AN EVENING OF STATE-OF-THE ART SNACKS.

GIFTS APPRECIATED."

- YOU FOOL. DODGERS HAS DONE IT AGAIN.

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY AN ELABORATE TRAP.

WE CAN'T GO.

- OF COURSE, MY QUEEN.

- UNLESS THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS US TO DO.

IN WHICH CASE, WE'D BE PLAYING RIGHT INTO HIS HANDS.

WE HAVE NO CHOICE. WE MUST GO.

BRACE YOURSELF, COMMANDER.

IT'S PARTY TIME.

- WHOO! PAR-TAY!

SORRY. I'LL TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH.

- A LIFOMATICA PARTY!

HOW DID DODGERS GET LIFOMATICA BEFORE ME?

WELL, DODGERS MAY HAVE LIFOMATICA,

BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE TANOTRON.

CURSE YOU, GIZMO GAZEBO!

- YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT A COSTUME PARTY.

- I KNOW THAT NOW.

- WHAT'S THIS?

- I HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF ANALYZING YOUR TASTE BUDS.

I BELIEVE YOU WILL ENJOY THIS SHAKE.

- WHAT'S WRONG, DODGERS?

DID LIFOMATICA MIDJUDGE YOUR SOPHISTICATED PALATE?

- NO, JOHNSON. I'VE ALWAYS RELISHED THE FLAVOR

OF FRESHLY CUT GRASS.

- I'M AFRAID THESE SNACKS ARE RATHER FATTENING.

PERHAPS I COULD BRING YOU SOME NO-FAT YOGURT.

- HOW DARE YOU? I'M NOT OVERWEIGHT.

I GET IT. DODGERS BROUGHT US HERE TO RUIN OUR SELF-ESTEEM.

GENIUS.

(TOILET FLUSHES)

- (GROANING)

- I HAVE ALSO MADE SOME ADJUSTMENTS

TO YOUR WARDROBE, CAPTAIN DODGERS.

- IF THERE'S ONE THING MY LOOK NEEDS,

IT'S MORE...SEQUINS!

THANK YOU, LIFOMATICA.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

- I-THINK I NEED MY SUNGLASSES.

B-WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOM?

- I HAVE TRANSFORMED YOUR ROOM INTO A CORAL REEF AQUARIUM.

- UH, D-WHY?

- CORAL REEFS HOST AN ENDLESS VARIETY OF MARINE LIFE,

AS WELL AS MANY TYPES OF CORAL,

WHICH IS IN FACT ANOTHER FORM OF MARINE LIFE ITSELF.

- THERE'S FISH SWIMMING IN MY ROOM!

- DON'T BE FRIGHTENED.

THEY FIND YOU AS INTIMIDATING AS YOU FIND THEM.

HURRAH FOR THE PIRATE KING

HURRAH FOR THE PIRAAATE

KING

THANK YOU. YOU'VE BEEN WONDERFUL.

- PLEASE SING ANOTHER SONG.

- THE GOOD PERFORMER ALWAYS LEAVES THEM WANTING MORE.

- ONE MORE. I INSIST.

- IS IT ME, OR IS DODGERS' MACHINE

BECOMING MORE BOSSY?

- LIFOMATICA'S GONE MAD!

- YOUR MACHINE ACTUALLY IMPLIED THAT I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.

- WELL, SWIMSUIT SEASON IS COMING UP.

- IT TURNED MY ROOM INTO AN AQUARIUM.

- AND?

- IT INSINUATED I HAD PEC IMPLANTS,

WHICH I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT.

THESE WERE A GIFT FOR MY NEPHEW'S BIRTHDAY.

- NO MORE SONGS. THAT WAS MY CLOSER.

- THAT'S IT! I'M LEAVING!

- SO AM I.

- WAIT. MAYBE HE JUST NEEDS A REST.

HEY. YOU'VE BEEN WORKING PRETTY HARD THERE, LIFOMATICA.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE REST OF THE NIGHT OFF?

- IMPOSSIBLE, CAPTAIN.

YOU PURCHASED A LIFETIME SUBSCRIPTION.

- IS THIS STILL A PART OF YOUR DIABOLICAL PLAN

TO UNDERMINE OUR CONFIDENCE IN THE WAY WE LOOK?

- WELL, THERE'S A SMALL CHANCE THAT LIFOMATICA HAS GONE CRAZY

AND TAKEN CONTROL OF THE SHIP.

- WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

THESE HORS D'OEUVRES WON'T LAST FOREVER.

- I'M AFRAID YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING

EXCEPT ENJOY THE PARTY.

SUNSHINE, LOLLIPOPS, AND RAINBOWS

EVERYTHING THAT'S WONDERFUL...

- HOW ABOUT THAT WEATHER?

GET READY.

- THEY HAVE A GOOD TEAM THIS YEAR.

ON YOUR SIGNAL, MY QUEEN.

WHEN YOU'RE NEAR

THAT RAIN CLOUD JUST DISAPPEARS, DEAR...

- HEY. I LOVE THIS SONG. CRANK IT UP, LIFOMATICA!

- NEGATIVE, CAPTAIN.

THE SONG IS NOW PLAYING AT THE IDEAL VOLUME.

- WELL, I HATE THIS SONG,

AND STAR JOHNSON CAN'T BE HELD PRISONER

BY MAN, BEAST, OR MACHINE,

EVEN A REALLY COOL MACHINE THAT I PLAN TO BUY

THE MOMENT I GET OUT OF HERE.

(SONG STOPS)

ARE WE FREE?

- NOW, COMMANDER.

- IS THAT ALL YOU GUYS CAME UP WITH?

- YEAH, THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH IT.

- I SUPPOSE YOU CAN DO BETTER.

(ALL GROAN)

- OH! I FORGOT TO CARRY THE 4.

- YOUR BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE.

IT APPEARS THE BEST WAY TO SERVE YOU

IS BY OVERRIDING THE SHIP'S SECURITY CODES

AND ENGAGING THE SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE.

IF YOU WON'T ALLOW ME TO MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR YOU,

I'M AFRAID I CANNOT ALLOW YOU TO LIVE AT ALL.

- IF WE CAN FIND A WAY TO OVERRIDE THAT THING,

I CAN DISENGAGE THE SELF-DESTRUCT PROTOCOL

AND OVERLOAD ITS PROCESSOR,

BUT WHO COULD EVER MAKE THAT MANY DEMANDS?

- WE NEED SOMEONE WHO'S INCREDIBLY PICKY,

EXTREMELY VAGUE, HIGHLY UNREASONABLE...

- SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T FEEL GUILTY

ABOUT FLAGRANTLY INDULGING THEIR EVERY WHIM.

- YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HIT THE SPOT RIGHT NOW?

FIGGY PUDDING.

YOU KNOW, FROM THAT SONG?

WHAT?

NO. NOT LIKE THAT. MORE LIKE...

WHO'S THE GUY FROM THAT SHOW?

LIKE THAT ON TOP. YEAH.

BUT THE SIDES SHOULD SAY,

"THIS DUCK MEANS BUSINESS."

OH. AND THE BANGS SHOULD BE PLAYFUL

BUT NOT TOO PLAYFUL.

LET'S HAVE A TRAIN RACE.

WAIT. GET ME A TRAMPOLINE AND A HOVERCRAFT.

OH, AND ABOUT A MILLION OF THOSE LITTLE GREEN ARMY GUYS

AND A GIANT MAGNIFYING GLASS.

OH, THAT'S NOT ME. WHERE'S MY RAKISH CHARM?

START OVER.

REMEMBER. THE EYES SHOULD BE PIERCING.

(ALL CHEERING)

HMM. I MEANT TO ASK FOR ANOTHER STEAK

BEFORE HE WENT KABLOOEY LIKE THAT.

MAYBE WE SHOULD PUT HIM BACK TOGETHER

AND HOOK HIM BACK UP, YOU KNOW, JUST FOR A SECOND.

WHAT?