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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) John, guess what?

I left my husband.

After all this time, we can finally be

together.

I hate this dream.

John!

John, it's me, Megan!

John, it really is me, and I really

did leave my husband.

I want to be with you.

Oh, oh my gosh, Megan!

Is John in here?

No, so far today is completely becker-free.

I don't ask why, I just enjoy it.

Well, he flaked on the Knicks game Saturday

night.

I stood outside of the garden for an

hour saying, John, John, everybody who passed by.

I mean, sure, I met a few hookers,

but...

You should have called him.

Well, I did, he wouldn't pick up his

phone.

You know, I didn't hear from him either.

He usually leaves obsessive little messages all weekend.

Did you call in that prescription?

Did you confirm Monday's appointments?

Did Linda take my stapler?

That was an emergency.

You try hemming a skirt on the subway.

Is Becker here?

Why does everyone care where Becker is?

You know, the minute he gets here, we're

all going to wish he'd leave.

Well, listen to this.

Bob heard through the grapevine.

Okay, through the air shaft in our building.

The unmistakable sounds of sex coming from Becker's

apartment.

Moaning, groaning, screaming.

Okay, Bob, we get it.

Which leaves Bob with only one conclusion.

Becker went out of town and loaned the

apartment to someone.

Bob, obviously he had a woman in there.

Well, even if he did, that's no excuse

for flaking on me.

Okay, it's a great excuse, but still, I'm

pretty upset about it.

Becker having sex?

Nah, I don't see it.

But if I get that new drill, I

will.

Morning, everyone.

Hey, hey, don't good morning me.

What the hell happened to you Saturday night?

Oh, Jake, I'm sorry.

Listen, I don't even care if you did

get a woman into bed.

She better be the hottest and nastiest thing

you've ever been with.

I'd like to think I was.

Oh, man.

Megan, you remember everybody?

This is Megan.

I think you remember Jake and Margaret.

Hi, Megan.

Hi.

So, Dr. Becker, we heard you had hot

and nasty sex all weekend.

Who with?

Well, it was nice seeing everyone, but I

have to run a few errands.

I'm sure we'll have plenty of chances to

visit now that John and I are, well...

Yeah, we are, aren't we?

Megan, I'm sorry about what I said.

I didn't know you were standing right there.

Hey, waiter, she left.

Megan, Megan, oh, wasn't that your old girlfriend

from college, the married one?

Oh, put the tablets down, Moses.

She's not married anymore.

Left her husband, and she came to be

with me.

That must have been one bad marriage.

You know something?

I'm in such a good mood, I'm gonna

let that one pass.

You know, do me a favor.

Go outside and come back in bitching, because

I don't know who the hell you are.

No, no, no, no, no.

I know that look.

I haven't seen him this happy since his

six-piece McNuggets had ate by mistake.

Yeah, that was a good day, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah, but this is Megan, you know.

This is...

Yeah, this is better.

This is much better.

See, Megan and I were always supposed to

end up together, and it finally happened.

Wait, so she just left her husband?

Yeah, yeah.

Why?

Just be careful, John.

Yeah, she just ended a marriage.

You don't want to be the rebound guy.

The what?

Whenever a woman ends a long-term relationship,

she always runs after the first guy she

can find.

And then has mad, passionate, claw your back,

tear your hair out sex with him.

Yeah, I sure hate to be that guy.

You know, I know you guys, you know,

want to help.

Either that, or you're just trying to make

up your own loveless lies.

But what you don't understand is after 30

years, I'm with the woman of my dreams.

I'm happy.

Deal with it.

Ha!

Loveless lies.

Who's he calling loveless?

Jake, I'm taking a penthouse.

I'm so glad you're here.

You know, I don't hear that a lot.

Boy, this place looks fantastic, Megan.

Oh, I'm glad you like it.

Sit down.

I hope you like Kung Pao chicken.

Chinese food, too?

Boy, if I had sex in a football

game, this would be like the best day

of my life.

So, let's eat.

I also got some Chinese beer.

I seem to remember you like that.

Yeah.

PHONE RINGS I think the flavors really complement

each other.

PHONE RINGS You know, you, uh, keep hanging

up the phone before you answer it.

I know.

Anyway, I decided against the fried rice because,

you know, you only have one pan.

Listen, Megan, I'm a doctor.

It could be an emergency.

It isn't.

It's my ex-husband.

How do you know that unless you answer

it?

PHONE RINGS Fine.

Listen, Russ, we're not married anymore.

It's over and I'm not coming back.

Hey, you cheated on me.

Don't talk to me about Mike.

He had nothing to do with it.

I guess it was for you.

Oh, hey.

Megan.

Come on, it's okay.

Really.

You'll be all right.

Yeah.

Who's Mike?

Oh, God.

I wanted to spare you all the messy

details, but I guess it's best I tell

you everything.

No, you don't have to.

No, I want to.

I came home early one day and I

found my husband in bed with some bimbo

from his office.

I was hurt.

I was confused.

So, I went out for a drink and,

well, that's when I met Mike.

It was just that one night.

Oh, it was a rebound thing.

I bet you wish I'd never come here.

No, no, no, it's okay.

So, you don't hate me?

Of course not.

Hey, everybody has baggage, you know.

Yeah.

I can live with this.

No, thank you for understanding.

Understanding?

I've been married before.

You know, I used to call and hang

up on my ex-wife for years.

In fact, what time is it in Phoenix?

What?

You know, I'm not hungry anymore.

Are you?

Oh, you know, Kung Pao chicken is my...

Okay.

I'm late.

I was tied up all morning.

Cool, me too.

And I wasn't actually tied up.

Oh, then neither was I.

I was with Megan.

We were making an arrangement to send her

stuff over, and she's moving in.

Doesn't that seem a little soon?

You call 30 years soon?

We're finally together, Margaret.

You know, we've wasted enough time.

Oh, and for your information, I found out

last night that I'm not the rebound guy.

You know, it just so happens there was

someone else before me, so there.

It's a love story for the ages.

Mr. Peterson, would you come with me, please?

You know, it is a love...

It is a love story, Linda.

You know, I'll never forget the first time

I saw Megan.

It was like everyone else in the room

just disappeared.

A funny thing happened.

Excuse me, Dr. Becker, but I have some

filing to do.

Oh, sure.

I like that story under B for boring.

Becker, it's been two hours.

How long are you gonna wait for her?

She'll be here.

I don't think she's showing.

Look, she came by the office this afternoon.

I gave her my credit card so she

could go shopping, and we agreed to meet

back here at 6.

It's 8.

Well, you know, so she got delayed.

Big deal.

Jay, do you believe this?

I still can't believe he released his credit

card from its calfskin prison.

Shut up, will you?

Becker, think about it.

She shows up in the middle of the

night, she moves right in, and now she's

borrowing money.

She sounds a little flaky to me.

Oh, come on, Reggie.

Would you...

Hello?

Hold on.

It's her.

Megan?

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Let me answer that.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

All right.

Yeah, no problem.

Bye-bye.

See?

Perfectly reasonable explanation.

So where is she?

Locked in a bathroom off the New Jersey

Turnpike.

So there.

Oh, I'm sorry I hit you.

I'm sorry.

I thought you were Dave.

It was an accident.

I'm sorry I snuck up on you.

Who's Dave?

Um, he's the guy whose car I was

returning.

Look, let's just forget it.

I don't want to get you involved in

any of this.

Megan, I only have partial vision of my

left eye.

I'm already involved.

Okay, you're right.

Dave was a guy I lived with after

Russ and I split up.

I thought that was Mike.

No, no, no.

I never lived with Mike.

I lived with Dave.

For how long?

Not long.

Only about three months.

Three months?

I thought you came straight to me.

No, I didn't know where to go or

what to do.

I mean, Dave meant nothing to me.

Don't you just love those little convertibles?

So, if you live together, that means you

slept with Dave, right?

It was a cry for help.

What, did you ever think of just saying

help?

Oh, God, I'm ruining everything.

You hate me now, don't you?

No, no, I...

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I...

Hey, everybody has baggage.

I can live with this.

John?

Hmm?

What do you say we take that exit?

Holiday Inn?

Oh, yeah, I love the way you think.

No, Dave's following us.

Pull off, take a hard left, get on

the excess road and kill the lights.

What?

Now, damn it, now!

Okay, so what do we got this morning?

What happened to your eye?

What?

Oh, how?

Funny story.

Uh, Megan mistook me for somebody else and

accidentally punched me in the face.

Well, that is funny.

John?

Hmm?

Well, all right, you're not gonna believe this,

you know.

Megan borrowed a car from this guy, right,

and then all of a sudden he demands

that she bring it back to him all

the way out in New Jersey.

When she gets there, he starts hassling her.

You know, she gets scared and runs and

hides in a bathroom at this gas station

right off the turnpike.

John, I know it's none of my business,

but this Megan sounds like trouble.

Oh, come on.

So she has a little baggage.

Baggage?

She's like a carousel at JFK.

You know, I don't...

I don't care what she says.

You know, I've waited a long time to

be with Megan.

I think I can wait a little longer

for her to, you know, straighten out her

life.

Let me ask you something.

Yeah?

Do you think she'd mind waiting for you?

Well, you know something?

I don't...

I don't think so.

Oh, good, because she's been in your office

for, like, 20 minutes.

Why didn't you say something?

You know, I could lie to you, but

the truth is, I totally spaced.

Megan?

What are you doing here?

I thought you were gonna sleep in.

Oh, I couldn't sleep.

I felt so bad about last night.

I swear, John, my life usually isn't this

crazy.

Thank you again for being so understanding.

Oh, hey, you thanked me plenty last night.

In fact, I thought if you thanked me

one more time, I was gonna pass out.

You are so sweet.

You know what?

I'm gonna take you to dinner.

Let's go.

But, Megan, it's 9.30 in the morning.

Oh, where's my head?

I'll pick you up at 6.

Great, great.

We'll, uh, we'll go to the diner.

Do we have to?

What, problem?

Uh, just something about those people.

I mean, I'm not trying to change your

life, but I wish you wouldn't spend time

with them.

Why?

What's wrong with them?

Well, it's not so much them as her,

Reggie.

I mean, it's kind of sad.

She obviously has some pathetic delusion that you're

gonna drag her out of her dreary life.

Drag her where?

Into my dreary life?

Look, I, you know, Reggie's not after me,

and I think you'd see that if you

spent more time down at the diner.

I mean, I know the atmosphere's not great,

but the food...

Well, the food's not great either, but...

But, you know, if you got to know

Reggie, well, at least she's better in the

food or the atmosphere, you know?

I'm sorry.

Uh, maybe I just want you all to

myself.

I love you so much, I just don't

want to lose you.

Boy, that's something else I don't hear very

often.

Hey, Megan.

I didn't expect to see you here.

Oh, well, you told me to come over

and get to know your friends, so I

did.

You're right.

They're terrific.

Even Bob?

Oh, you know I have a million things

to do before death.

Bye, Reggie.

Oh.

So it looks like you guys are having

a nice little visit there.

Are you kidding?

She's nuts.

I don't know what she looks like, but

based on the conversation I heard, I picture

her with pinwheel eyes and a cuckoo coming

out of her forehead.

Whoa, whoa, wait a second here.

What are you guys talking about?

What are we talking about?

She told us about your little escapade in

New Jersey, and she made it sound like

it was no big deal.

It was no big deal.

Oh, really?

You usually get hit in the face on

your dates.

Bob does.

It was an accident.

Becker, you started your evening out at a

gas station bathroom and ended up in a

high-speed car chase.

What's your point?

The point is, John, you break up with

women for parting their hair wrong, and you

have no problem with this.

Yeah, and that kiss she just planted on

you, you don't think that was for my

benefit?

Actually, I thought it was for my benefit.

Well, Bob got a little something out of

it, too.

Becker, she looked right at me.

It was her way of saying, keep your

hands off my man.

Oh, you know something?

I don't have to listen to this.

You know, I come in here morning after

morning and listen to you people tell me

I don't know how to enjoy my life,

and the minute I do, you can't stand

it.

Becker, that's...

No, think about it, think about it.

You know, has she lied to me?

No.

Has she stolen from me?

No.

Has she hurt me?

No.

Have you really asked her to?

Because she can be kind of shy about

that stuff.

Megan?

It's Alonzo.

I know you're there.

All right, fine, don't answer.

But I want my money back, damn it.

Megan, it's Ian.

My wife's out of town.

Any chance of us getting together again?

At Concord Savings, there's been some unusual activity

on your credit card.

Please call me at extension 438...

What, what?

Hello, Meg?

Tim.

You know, from yesterday.

Call me.

Someone's a bad boy listening to other people's

messages.

No, it's my apartment.

Oh, that's right.

Everything's yours.

Your apartment, your telephone.

Well, by the way, you're out of wild

turkey.

Megan, what's going on here?

Did you buy all that stuff with my

credit card?

Who was it, John?

Who turned you against me?

Was it your whore at the diner?

My whore at the diner had nothing to

do with this.

She's not a whore, Meg.

Look, I don't...

Who are those guys?

I...

I just want to know what's going on.

Oh, all right.

Fine.

If it'll stop this insane third degree, I'll

tell you everything.

What?

You already know about Russ and Mike, and

for the record, I had no idea Mike

was 16.

Yes.

Then I met Ian.

He was hitching a ride, and, well, what

can I say?

It was a mistake.

Not as big a mistake as Dave or

Alonzo, but that's a whole other story.

Which brings us to Tim.

I wanted to sleep with him, but I

didn't.

You're welcome.

That's it.

That's everything.

Okay?

Hey, everybody has baggage.

Oh, wait a minute.

Nobody has that much baggage.

Look, we really need to talk about this.

All right, but first thing in the morning,

we're gonna really talk about this.

So, when I woke up this morning, she

was gone, her stuff was gone, and a

lot of my stuff was gone.

Sorry, man.

Yeah, I wish we'd been wrong.

I just can't believe I let her make

such an ass out of me.

I mean, damn it, she was my fantasy.

You know, for years, I had all these

screwed-up relationships, but in a funny way,

it didn't matter, because in the back of

my mind, I always hoped that, you know,

I'd meet Megan again, and we'd be together.

Well, you know what they say.

It's better to have loved and lost.

Better to have loved and lost?

Oh, come on, Reggie.

Encouragement's as bland as your food.

You know, it would have been better if

she hadn't shown up at all.

Now I got nothing.

Lost her and my fantasy.

Well, look at it this way, John.

A lot of guys don't ever get to

be with a woman like Megan.

And a lot of guys do.

Yeah.