Original subtitles

Are you ready?

It's beach time.

Come on, why is your bathing suit not on?

You need to put your bathing suit on.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

Jessica's coming.

I know she was supposed to, but did you look outside?

No!

I really wanted to go to the beach.

Why is it raining?

You should still go.

She just texted me she's not coming.

I told you it was going to probably rain today. I didn't think it was.

God damn it.

That's really upsetting.

What the heck am I gonna do now?

Why don't you, like, go to the mall with her or something?

Mall? It's so fucking boring.

That's where all the stupid people go.

What is there to do at the mall?

It's boring as fuck.

I don't know, like, put on different kinds of lip balm or, like, buy...

No. No, I don't do any of that.

It's stupid.

My little tchotchkes or something.

I don't know what that is.

Sparkly things.

No.

God.

What am I going to do?

Just watch TV or something. Go look at your phone.

That's fucking boring too. I want to go outside and be in the sun and get a tan.

I know I can't do that.

It's just too long.

I'm up.

I drank like three Red Bulls.

Let's get ready for the beach.

I'm up. There's no sleeping anytime soon.

Okay, well, good luck, okay?

Stop!

Fix this!

What's wrong with you?

I'm...

I am normal.

What about me is not normal?

I'm not weird.

You're the weirdo

It's ruined.

It's completely ruined.

I don't know anything going on.

You're right.

Um... Nobody else is doing something else?

I don't think so. I don't know. It's raining.

There's nothing to do.

Yeah, that's why there's stuff to do. There's inside places.

Well, not the mall.

Fuck the mall.

Go get food with somebody or something.

I don't want to get fat.

You'd be skinny.

Yeah, very fat.

That's mean! Why are you so mean to me?

I'm not mean.

Yes, you are.

You need to be nice to me.

I'm nice. I'm a good brother.

Number one.

In the whole world.

No. Probably.

No.

No? No. If you're nicer than me, yeah, but you're not.

You're not nice to me.

I know what you can do.

What?

Come here, I'll tell you.

What?

You can do my laundry.

That's really dirty. No!

You do your own laundry.

You're supposed to do that. You're a boy.

No, girls like doing chores and stuff.

Not me.

No.

You don't play video games with me.

Fucking video games. It's so boring. That's for losers.

I don't like just sitting around.

Gamers.

Gamers are fucking boring losers.

What else?

I don't play Truth or Dare.

Truth or Dare?

That's for, like, parties, not just for, like, brother and sister. That's kind of

weird. I don't know about that.

I'm just fucking around.

I mean, maybe we could play that.

I don't know.

Ask me.

Truth or Dare?

Truth.

Did you have sex with Greg at the party last week? Oh my god.

Why would you ask me something like that? Truth or dare?

The answer got to answer it.

Yeah. He's gross.

He's so gross.

I was drunk.

I don't know.

That's crazy.

Whatever. Don't tell anyone about that. I'm not.

It's embarrassing.

Okay, truth or dare? Dare.

I dare you to jump off the roof.

That's not fair. You can't do that.

Yes, it's a dare. You have to do it.

I'm not.

Yes.

You're crazy.

You have to do it. It's a dare and it's not even that high.

I'm not.

Shut up.

Okay, fine.

Then I... dare you to lick my armpit what

yeah what kind of dare is that you have to do it it's easier than jumping

off the roof so oh my god yeah fine

it's stinky no it's not

yeah

I dare you to lick my

foot.

See what you get? That's what you get.

It's so freaking dirty though.

Just give up and I'll say I won.

No. No.

No. I'll do it.

Dirty.

Dirty?

Ew.

That's crazy.

Ew.

I'm never doing that again.

That's crazy.

Okay.

Truth or dare?

Dare.

I dare you to let me look through your phone.

What? Yeah.

Fine. Here you go.

There's literally nothing in here.

You get no bitches.

Shut the fuck up. Shut up.

Oh my god.

This is so boring.

Here, you can have that box.

What's wrong with that?

You're just a loser.

Because I'm not talking to a bunch of different girls?

Yeah. Fucking loser.

Truth or dare?

Um, truth.

Does Sarah have a crush on me?

No.

She thinks you're a fucking loser.

For real?

Yes. Why would she like you?

She, like, heart-reacted, like, my message the other day. That doesn't mean

anything. Shut up! Shut up!

God, you really think she had a crush on you? Yes, I thought she kind of liked

me. No.

Of course not.

Mom, let's...

I don't like creators. She's stupid.

Okay, whatever you say.

Um, truth or dare?

Truth.

Is it true that you have a micro-penis?

What?

You heard me.

Is it true I have a micro-penis? Yeah.

Who told you I have a micropenis?

Nobody. What kind of stupid question is that?

You probably do.

It's probably super little.

Is there some rumor going around that I have a micropenis?

That's fucked up.

That's... That's so fucked up. Loser.

I bet you do.

No, I don't.

It's like... It's pretty big, actually.

But it doesn't matter.

Whatever you say.

Alright, my turn.

Truth or dare?

Dare.

I dare you to take a look at it.

What?

I dare you to take a look and see if it's a micropenis or not.

I don't...

Oh my

god!

It's so big.

I told you.

I told you.

Oh, my God.

I was not expecting that at all.

Do you want to apologize now?

I mean, yeah, I guess so. I'm sorry for accusing you. That's right.

Having a micro-venous.

It's pretty big, right? It's really big.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

In shock.

What did you get?

Uh, wow.

There.

I dare you to show me your stuff.

My stuff?

Yeah. Like, my tits?

Or what?

Bottoms.

This is only fair.

There.

You have micropenis.

I do.

Yes, you're right. It's way tinier than mine. It is.

Truth or dare?

Why dare you to let me put

it in my mouth?

What?

Why?

I mean, it's really big.

I don't want to put it in my mouth.

Hmm?

I don't know if that's... Come on.

Please? Yeah, okay.

You don't

even...

You're

not worried I'm gonna, like, tell anybody?

I... hope you won't.

It's so big

It's like a nice wiener.

Very, very nice.

Might be the biggest one I've ever seen.

That's crazy.

I know.

It's like messed up.

Girls don't even want to talk to me.

Yeah, it's sad.

Surely help me out.

I mean... Tell your friends, like, just don't tell them how you know.

Okay.

Okay, I might be able to do that for you.

Are you trying to get me to lick your butthole?

Gross, but I will if you want me to. You will?

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, fuck.

Craig said you did that to him, so...

He needs to shut the fuck up.

Stop. Don't do that again.

Okay.

That does feel good.

You said it felt good.

That's, like, taking it a little too far.

You're my brother, like... That's kind of weird. I mean, just come in my mouth,

like... It's fine.

Just come in my mouth?

I mean, I do want you to, but... I don't know.

Come on, hold my comments a little bit or something.

I don't know, you know, like, I'm not on birth control, and I just... Okay, but

that's what I'm saying. I'm not gonna...

I can control myself.

I'm just gonna lose.

Okay,

fine.

It's gonna hurt.

It's not gonna hurt.

It's really big, though.

Fuck, it's so big.

Oh, my

God.

It's so good.

We should do every day.