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1
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[soft music playing]
2
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[man] Okay, okay.
3
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,030
This one is better.
4
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,406
[man 1] Another one?
Oh, you're killing me.
5
00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:33,783
[man] Aw, come on, you don't
want to hear 'em, I won't tell 'em.
6
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,994
-[man 1] No, no, no, tell.
-[man] Oh, now you want to hear it?
7
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,871
-Tell the joke, I'd love to hear it.
-Okay, all right.
8
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So, this Rabbi and his prized student
are walking in the old country, right?
9
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:45,378
And they decide to pitch their tent
10
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:48,506
for the night in some pasture,
and they fall asleep.
11
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,549
Yeah.
12
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:53,011
A few hours later, the Rabbi wakes up
13
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,180
and-- and he-- he shakes,
14
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:59,559
he shakes his student
and says, "Avi, Avi, wake up!
15
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,686
Look up. What do you see?"
16
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:05,482
And he says,
"I see a million stars, Rabbi."
17
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:09,027
And he said, "But what do you
learn from this?"
18
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:12,697
And he thinks,
and he looks up, and says--
19
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,199
-Oh, shit!
-What?
20
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:18,620
Sheesh.
21
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,623
[instrumental music begins]
22
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,789
[jazz music playing]
23
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,320
We gotta pick up a challah.
24
00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:39,284
So, your parents are good on Shabbos?
25
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,411
Yeah, they, I mean,
they know what this is.
26
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,705
They just haven't been to one before.
27
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,290
Okay, I just don't want them to freak out.
28
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They're not gonna freak out.
29
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I told them to expect some prayers
30
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,170
and to keep their phones in their pockets.
31
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,422
Great. Hi, Gary.
32
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[Gary] You guys ready for tonight?
33
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H-how do you know about that?
34
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,302
[Gary] Your dad was here earlier.
35
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,597
Okay. you mind putting this on my tab?
36
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,307
You know, I'll put on your mom's.
37
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,017
That's the one I was talking about.
38
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,727
-Love you, Gary.
-Love you.
39
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,023
[man talking indistinctly]
40
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,165
[music fades out]
41
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:28,249
-Hey!
-Hey!
42
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,251
Oh, watch out.
43
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,545
The hottest couple
on the Upper West Side coming through.
44
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,839
-Oh, I don't know about that.
-Aw, come on, now.
45
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,132
Oh, David...
46
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,926
I got the menorah, brother.
47
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,219
[David] Mmm.
48
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,763
You know what it's gonna be, right?
49
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,056
It's gonna be lit.
50
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,682
It's gonna be lit!
51
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,101
So, you guys, uh, ready for tonight?
52
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,811
You talked to my Dad?
53
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,897
Yeah we kind of talked
a little bit. Y'all nervous?
54
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,315
-No.
-Very.
55
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:53,942
-Well...
-Well, you just seemed like--
56
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,860
-I think I'm a little--
-I'm, like, excited, but--
57
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,111
Guys it'll be fine, come on.
58
00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,573
I tell you what,
when Cano takes over my shift,
59
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,034
I'll pop upstairs and I'll
smooth things out.
60
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,577
You good with in-laws from Wisconsin?
61
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,329
I am great with in-laws from Wisconsin.
62
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:07,872
Read my resume, brother.
63
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,332
-Well, there we go.
-There we go.
64
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,584
And, Meg, you have nothing to worry about.
65
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,544
Just make sure you sit
next to my guy Richie.
66
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:16,297
Oh, well, I usually sit next to this guy,
67
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,049
but maybe I won't this time.
68
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:20,134
[woman coughs]
69
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,220
Mrs. Grundwerg, good to see you.
70
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,058
She seems great.
71
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:30,061
Seriously, I mean David's cool
and all, but Richie?
72
00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:32,063
Come on man, Richie's the shit.
73
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,648
-Am I right?
-You are right.
74
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:36,109
-She agrees with me.
-I do agree with you.
75
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:37,986
[Meg] Richie is the shit.
76
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,113
-Good Shabbos, guys!
-Good Shabbos!
77
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:41,656
[elevator dings]
78
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,287
It's "Good Shabbos," right?
79
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,455
-Yeah, that's it.
-Shabbos.
80
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:53,334
Just that your mom
always corrects me, so I just-- I want--
81
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,336
No, it's perfect. You said it perfectly.
82
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,963
-Shabbos?
-Yeah, you always say it perfectly.
83
00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:59,382
Okay.
-Yeah, it's impeccable.
84
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,842
-All right.
-You're so good.
85
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,719
-Good.
-You look good. You are good.
86
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,262
-Marry me.
-Well, I'm going to.
87
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,888
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
88
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,765
[elevator doors open]
89
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:10,184
-We should have eloped.
-Yeah, I agree.
90
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,814
Okay.
91
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:17,525
-Good?
-[David] Yeah. What?
92
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:18,943
[Meg] Just smudged a little...
93
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,111
[man] What about the macaroni salad?
94
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,821
[woman] That's for Adam.
95
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,573
[man] Oh. Well, what about the
marinated mushrooms?
96
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,199
I mean, nobody even likes them.
97
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,868
[woman] You eat the marinated mushrooms.
98
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,995
-No I don't.
-I've seen you eat it.
99
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:31,205
[man] No, I only eat it
because you buy it.
100
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,041
[woman] I only buy it because you eat it.
101
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,001
-[Meg] Good Shabbos!
-[David] Good Shabbos!
102
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:38,171
[woman] Oh, my God!
[man] Oh, they've arrived!
103
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,964
You've arrived!
104
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,133
-Yeah, yeah.
-And you brought the challah, too.
105
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:43,468
Couldn't forget that.
106
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,094
[David] Yeah, we got the fruit, too.
107
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,763
Oh, you got fruit, too?
They got fruit, too.
108
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,431
-Can you believe it?
-Oh, that's so thoughtful.
109
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,433
-Is it cut?
-No, but I can cut it.
110
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,685
[woman] Oh, no, that's okay.
You enjoy yourself.
111
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,271
[Meg] It's really, it's fine.
It's like the one thing I know how to do.
112
00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:00,318
Oh, that's a... milchig knife.
113
00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:01,861
-Oh!
-David, forks!
114
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,654
-Yeah, okay.
-Right here.
115
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,239
[David] Oh, sorry.
116
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,078
-There you go.
-Thank you. Super.
117
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,914
[David] And it's called
the Alexander Technique?
118
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,832
Yeah, you know, I feel a straight spine
119
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:19,629
gives you a sense of calm,
you know, a sense of...
120
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:22,215
-authority. I like that.
-Uh-huh.
121
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,258
Hey, what did you think of
the book, by the way?
122
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,384
About Alexander Technique?
123
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:29,097
No, no. Non-Violent Communication,
124
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,264
-N.V.C.
-Oh, yeah, N.V.C.
125
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,517
Um, you know... I bought it.
126
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,894
Oh, hey, David, it's a game changer.
127
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,854
I think it's gonna help you
at the office, too.
128
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,023
Yeah, you know, I just,
129
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,442
I don't know how much it's gonna help
with negotiations, Dad.
130
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:46,823
David, it is about everything,
every facet of life.
131
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,449
Okay.
132
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,787
You look insane.
133
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:54,539
But I feel good.
134
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,790
All right.
135
00:06:58,459 --> 00:06:59,544
Should I cut the other half?
136
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:01,921
Oh!
137
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,923
Is that okay?
138
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,425
-I'll take over.
-No, no, I can do it.
139
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,886
-No, no, no, it's fine.
-No, Ellen, please, I enjoy it, it's fine.
140
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,138
-Could you just--
-What?
141
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,890
I...I like to serve it in cubes.
142
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,976
Yeah. No, I-- totally. I get it.
143
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:16,102
It's a quick fix. It's easy.
144
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:19,021
Okay.
-Yeah.
145
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,774
I'll be sure to bring my
melon baller next time.
146
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,031
So, um, the Rabbi was saying
147
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,993
something really-- really funny
yesterday after class.
148
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,870
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah, yeah.
149
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:37,790
He was saying how um, well,
the good thing about converts
150
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,418
is that we bring new genes to the pool
151
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:43,087
so that can help
with diseases like colitis
152
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:46,549
-and, um--
-I don't have colitis.
153
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,217
No, I know. No, sorry.
154
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,760
I think that he meant
in general that it's--
155
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,888
[Ellen] But no one in our
family has that problem.
156
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,931
No, right. So, I think he just--
157
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,641
I think he meant as like a, like a joke.
158
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,643
-Oh.
-Yeah.
159
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:01,022
Oh, my baby! There's my little zeeskeit!
160
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:02,607
Aw, look at the face.
161
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,317
Look at the face, look at the face!
162
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,027
[David] Hey, Mom, we need some glasses.
163
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,862
[Ellen] Okay, check the dishwasher.
164
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:11,032
[David] Hi, Larry. Oh, you're
making little cubes.
165
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,742
[Ellen] Did you say hello to your brother?
166
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,494
[David] Uh, no, I was helping
Dad with the--
167
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,745
[Ellen] Well, go say hi.
168
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,872
He probably heard you come in.
I bet he's already offended.
169
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,832
-I'll be right back.
-You don't have to be right back.
170
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,167
[David] Uh-huh.
171
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,170
Richard, I was talking to
Jordan downstairs.
172
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,546
He loves you.
173
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,299
-Ha! Jordan's the shit.
-[giggles]
174
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,725
Hey, come on, you can do
that on the balcony.
175
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,143
[man] Uh, no, thank you.
176
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,979
I've heard enough from your
dad about oral fixations.
177
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:46,067
-Who are you texting?
-You want to check it?
178
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:48,528
We're 20 minutes late.
Can you please just--
179
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,946
Tell them I'm parking the car.
180
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,656
What?
181
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:52,740
[angrily] What?
182
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,660
No car. No car on Shabbos.
183
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,453
We don't drive on Shabbos!
184
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,456
And yet...
185
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,166
Okay, this is-- this is what we'll say.
186
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,210
We forgot the wine. Here, take this.
187
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,421
So, you went to pick it up on 74th Street.
188
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,632
Great.
189
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,592
So can you say it?
190
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,594
We forgot the wine, and I got it--
191
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:16,931
On 74th Street!
192
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,475
On 74th.
193
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,228
This is mine. I'm taking this. Okay?
194
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:33,281
[Ellen] Richard, there won't be
anything left for dinner.
195
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,992
-[woman] Hello!
-[sighs] Finally she's here.
196
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,704
[Both chuckle]
197
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,456
[Ellen] Abella!
198
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,916
What happened?
199
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,459
What do you mean? The Uber just was late.
200
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,336
[Ellen] Well, you should have
checked Lyft.
201
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,879
The fastest option would be driving.
202
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,090
-What?
-Hey, Abb.
203
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,134
-Hey!
-Hi! Ah...
204
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:54,552
Where's Benjamin? Is he coming?
205
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,596
Yeah, he's coming.
He's just grabbing wine.
206
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:57,847
-Oh.
-Yeah.
207
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:58,931
[Ellen] And things are good?
208
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,058
[Abby] Yeah! Very good.
209
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,685
Good.
210
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,437
[Abby] With your face,
why are you doing that?
211
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,731
What? No, nothing.
212
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,902
-You did mention that--
-Mom!
213
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,863
No, nothing, good.
I'm glad everything's good.
214
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,364
-Great.
-Okay, good, good.
215
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,908
-I'm glad it's great.
-It's very good.
216
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:21,078
[loud techno music playing indistinctly]
217
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,377
[man] Yeah.
218
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,795
Uh, it's David.
219
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,714
[man] Alexa pause.
220
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,174
-[music continues]
-Pause, bitch!
221
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:34,508
[Music stops]
222
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:35,926
Hey, bud.
223
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,137
[man sighs]
224
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,015
Hey, I'd hug you, but I'm really sweaty.
225
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,808
That's okay.
226
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,227
Are those my boxers?
227
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,604
No.
228
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,189
Why don't you get in the shower, man?
229
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,608
No, I'm way too stressed right now.
230
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,109
That's nice. I thought
Abby was the only one
231
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,278
who cared about making a good impression.
232
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:57,281
[man] What you talking about?
Abby only gives a shit about herself.
233
00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:00,534
The way she lets her boyfriend
speak to me? It's disgusting.
234
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,536
Let's just maybe, like,
cool it on Benjamin.
235
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,372
-Benjamin? That slimy cocksuck?
-Okay.
236
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,832
Imagine if I had a girlfriend
who was rude to Abby.
237
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,334
Do you think I'd try to be fair?
238
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,252
Do you think I would
giggle and say, "Be nice?" No.
239
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,797
-No. No, no.
-I'd get mad at my girlfriend,
240
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,091
and I probably already would
have dumped her by this point
241
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,552
if she's the type of person
to denigrate my siblings.
242
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,930
So this has nothing to do
with Meg's parents?
243
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,848
-I don't know Meg's parents.
-Well, you know, they're--
244
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,600
[man] I'm sure they're fine.
Meg's really nice.
245
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:27,770
Adam, they're coming for dinner tonight.
246
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,438
Oh, cool. I'm excited to meet them.
247
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,565
[David] Yeah, so maybe don't
start any shit with Abby or--
248
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,067
Benjamin that philandering cocksuck?
249
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:37,363
Sure, yeah, the cocksuck.
Just be quiet or be nice. Please?
250
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:38,823
-He starts shit with me, man.
-I know.
251
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,157
-You know that.
-I know!
252
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,785
But these people, they're like...
253
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,954
not used to families arguing.
254
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,080
What are they, Mormon?
255
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,165
No, they're polite. Okay?
256
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,834
-So, please, I am beg--
-Okay, okay.
257
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:52,169
Don't worry. I won't strike first.
258
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,838
-Thank you.
-But...
259
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,673
If he provokes me,
260
00:11:55,756 --> 00:12:00,177
I will respond with full force.
261
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,096
Okay.
262
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,765
Oh. Right back to it.
263
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:09,395
[sighs]
264
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,272
[music resumes]
265
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,319
[music fades out]
266
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,238
-David!
-Hey, Ben!
267
00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:23,409
What's crappening? Any secret tips for me?
268
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,911
-Tips?
-Mergees, acquisishees?
269
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:29,748
No, only uh, well,
Meg's parents are coming tonight. So...
270
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:32,918
so the merging of-of fam-families.
271
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,671
I'm sorry, man. That is rough.
272
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,756
Well, listen, don't worry about it,
273
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,009
just keep playing the role
of nice boyfriend
274
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,886
and look to the bachelor party.
275
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,637
Bachelor party?
276
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:46,098
You know, where it's gonna be,
what we're gonna do.
277
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,975
I haven't really thought
about it that much.
278
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:50,478
Oh, you know what, Meg and her
friends are doing a spa day,
279
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,898
Maybe we can hop on that train.
280
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,150
That's good. You're in character.
281
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:58,277
All right. Yo?
-Ben, just a small favor.
282
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,030
Could you just maybe
take it easy on Adam tonight,
283
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,740
you know, try to avoid any open conflict?
284
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,825
-What, did he say something?
-No, nothing.
285
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,328
It's just, you know, last week
and the week before that...
286
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:08,621
-I never start it.
-I know.
287
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:09,580
-You know that.
-I know.
288
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:11,332
Why would I pick a fight with a toddler?
289
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,875
That's exactly the type
of thing you shouldn't say.
290
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,376
David, David, you'll be great.
291
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,670
Thank you. Not worried...
292
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,547
about me.
293
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,426
Everyone, phones off and away.
294
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,346
It's time to light. Abby, come.
295
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:26,514
Richard.
296
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,890
-Sorry.
-Did you light yet?
297
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,059
Oh, no, no, I haven't practiced
the blessing enough yet.
298
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,311
-It's fine.
-Okay, well, now's your chance.
299
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,188
-Let's go.
-Okay.
300
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:37,358
[match strikes]
301
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,009
[singing Hebrew prayer]
302
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,892
[praying continues]
303
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,238
-You crushed that.
-Thank you.
304
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,448
-Good Shabbos.
-Good Shabbos.
305
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,868
-Good Shabbos.
-Good Shabbos.
306
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,703
[toilet flushes]
307
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:34,164
[sighs] Oh, God.
308
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,549
-Oh, hey, Benj!
-Richie.
309
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:44,758
-Hey.
-How you doing?
310
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,260
-Good, yeah.
-You good?
311
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:47,720
What do you-- what do you got there?
312
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,179
A little Galina Bordeaux.
313
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,639
-Galina?
-Grapes from Israel,
314
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,391
but the varietal's from France.
315
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,184
-Varietal?
-Varietal.
316
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,020
It's got the wax seal.
That's how you know it's fancy.
317
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:57,396
Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you.
318
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:58,564
-Happy to.
-Thank you for that.
319
00:14:58,647 --> 00:14:59,815
But you know what?
320
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,860
I go for the... Reserva tequila.
321
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,701
God, I hate it here.
322
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,621
[Meg] I don't think we're
gonna do it in New York. It's too--
323
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:16,916
Meg, I tell you,
tonight is gonna be terrific.
324
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,543
I promise you, I have a million questions
for your parents.
325
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,836
Here you go, Ben.
326
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,922
[Meg] I'm so happy to hear that, Richard.
327
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,632
I do love that we pregame family dinner.
328
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:27,092
-Yeah.
-Me too.
329
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,261
[Richard] Well, you know, Wisconsin
is the number-one exporter of cheese,
330
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:34,266
so one state is making all this
delightful cheese for everybody to enjoy.
331
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,643
-Cheese, yeah.
-Uh-huh.
332
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,227
You know her parents
aren't farmers, right?
333
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,229
[Meg] Yeah, but my Grandpa
was a cheese fanatic,
334
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,689
so my Dad loves talking cheese.
335
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:44,026
God, I miss dairy.
I would murder for a slice of pizza.
336
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,195
Yeah, not as long as we share
a bathroom. Cheers.
337
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,988
Richie, what do we got?
338
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,698
Oh, that's a tequila cosmo.
339
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:50,866
How long has it been?
340
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,744
Oh, since I've had pizza
or dairy in general?
341
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,788
Ellen, it's such a good question.
342
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,332
I want to say, God,
I want to say college? Maybe even earlier.
343
00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,000
-Been a while.
-Mmm, that would kill me.
344
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,503
Where is Adam?
345
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:06,048
-Probably taking a nap.
-No, he's changing, Ben.
346
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,342
You know, Adam's been working out a lot.
347
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:10,177
You know, he's really dedicated.
348
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:12,429
He's very buff. He's become very buff.
349
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,640
Yeah, I mean,
not mass, but dense-- denser.
350
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:18,143
[Richard] Yeah, he works out in his room.
You know, just simple calisthenics.
351
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,687
He should try going to a gym.
352
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,230
-Well--
-Adam's a homebody.
353
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,648
-Right.
-But he doesn't, like, work,
354
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,358
doesn't...explore.
355
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,026
Well, he worked for Benjamin this summer.
356
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,236
For two weeks.
357
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,487
It was a memorable two weeks.
358
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,698
[Ellen] He knows what he wants,
and he knows what he doesn't want.
359
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,282
He refused to learn PowerPoint.
360
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,575
Abby!
361
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,829
-Hey, Adam!
-[all greeting Adam]
362
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:40,165
-Adam!
-Hey, the Golden Intern.
363
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,210
Good thing you don't need to use
PowerPoint in the Navy SEALs.
364
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:44,253
There he is.
365
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,381
[Meg] Does the Israeli army
have a Navy SEALs, Adam?
366
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:50,634
It's called Shayetet,
IDF's most elite combat unit.
367
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:53,053
[Ellen] IDF? You can't go to the IDF.
368
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,263
What do they need you for?
369
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,850
I'm sure any military would welcome
young men in peak physical condition.
370
00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,853
Physical and mental condition.
Don't forget your sharp mind, Adam.
371
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,230
[David] Um, Mom,
the food smells delicious--
372
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,858
[Ellen] How can you go to the IDF?
You don't even speak the language.
373
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:09,570
I know the aleph bet,
the building blocks of the language.
374
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:10,821
Wow. That's impressive.
375
00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,573
I really don't think you need to comment.
376
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,451
♪ Alef Bet Gimmel... ♪
377
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,911
-What's with the comments?
-It's fine.
378
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,747
-Sing it, Adam.
-I am singing it.
379
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,248
-And then it's Vav, right?
-Yeah, Vav.
380
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,541
Whoa, very good, Meg!
381
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:23,667
Thank you.
382
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,753
♪ Yud, Chaf, Lamen, Mem, Nun-- ♪
383
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:27,254
I think he's ready to deploy.
384
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:28,714
What is with you?
385
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,591
[David] You have this weird
obsession. It's strange--
386
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,593
I'm saying nice things. You're
all acting like he's an idiot.
387
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:35,137
-We're not saying that he's an idiot.
-No one's saying he's an idiot.
388
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,310
I need a Klonopin.
389
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,020
Aw, Adam!
390
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,563
It's not "Aw." There's no "Aw!"
391
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:46,690
[Ellen] Yeah, but Klonopin
gets you all constipated.
392
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:47,733
[Adam] Mom!
393
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,152
[David] Great, now he's gonna
be pissed all of dinner.
394
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,613
No, he's about to get zonked out.
This'll be better.
395
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:54,615
[loud music playing]
396
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,867
[man singing in native language]
397
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,138
[pills crush]
398
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,690
[loud music ends]
399
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,025
Hey, David, got an idea for you.
400
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,276
Maybe you should chill a little.
401
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,654
[David] All the nights to do this
stupid bullshit and pick a fight.
402
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,322
-Oh, my God.
-Okay, so it's not about Adam.
403
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:36,490
[cell phone dings]
404
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,158
It's just about you
and your perfect night.
405
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,827
-You're so self-obsessed.
-What's wrong with that?
406
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,662
-Oh, they're running late.
-Thank God.
407
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,372
Adam!
408
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,873
[Meg] Adam. Hey!
409
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,459
-Big A!
-How you feeling, sweetie?
410
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,586
Thank you all for the concern,
411
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,798
but I'm always one Klonopin
away from total serenity.
412
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:54,299
That's good, Adam.
413
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:58,178
It is good, Abby. It's very good.
414
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:01,265
Some Klonopin and a little mindfulness.
That's the key.
415
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,809
Probably pretty important for the army.
416
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,811
It's definitely key, Meg.
417
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:07,396
Based on my research,
418
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,774
a good soldier has to ignore
every distraction,
419
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,694
no matter how
morally debased his enemy is.
420
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:17,823
Dad, can I refill your glass?
421
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,199
Oh, sure!
422
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,534
[Ellen] I think the Klonopin's helping.
423
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:22,411
[Richard] Who knows?
424
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,413
Hey, who wants to play Bananagrams
while we're waiting?
425
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:25,914
-Oh, my God.
-No one wants to play, but--
426
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,082
-I do!
-You wanna play?
427
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,667
-Well, I would--
-Maybe after dinner.
428
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,377
No, I'll set it up. Just a round.
429
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,254
-No, she said after dinner.
-We'll do a warm-up.
430
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,338
[Ellen] We said no.
431
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,465
[Richard] Look, you know,
we always start playing and you love it.
432
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,426
-I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
-[Ellen] Nobody wants to play!
433
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,635
Okay.
-[Abby] Dad!
434
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,179
[Ellen] Agreed. Nobody wants to play.
435
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,431
[Richard] Okay. Just an idea.
436
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,766
-We'll play after dinner.
-Okay.
437
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:49,605
It's never as good after dinner
because people are drunk and tired.
438
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,357
[water running]
439
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,650
[exhales]
440
00:19:55,777 --> 00:20:00,115
Beth, John,
441
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,368
all the way from Milwaukee.
442
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,204
Beth,
443
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,749
John, Big John, thanks for
coming all the way from--
444
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:11,335
from Milwaukee. I love you.
445
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:12,711
Hey, Papa John!
446
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,588
Don't...say that.
447
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:16,924
You got this.
448
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,096
Hey, Ben, I'm really--
449
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,477
[stomach growling]
450
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,021
[unzips zipper]
451
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:32,856
[stomach growling]
452
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:36,526
[grunting and groaning]
453
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,819
Wonderful.
454
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,700
[farting]
455
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,035
[crack]
456
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,956
[Abby] I'm not saying he was being nice.
457
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,083
You're saying he was trying
to make conversation,
458
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:52,960
and I'm saying I don't think
it was a good conversation.
459
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,211
I agree.
460
00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:55,671
Okay, well maybe if somebody
asked him a question,
461
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,005
he wouldn't feel the need to discuss Adam.
462
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,758
So, you're saying that Mom is
not warm enough to Benjamin,
463
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:03,387
and you're saying that
Benjamin focuses on topics
464
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:06,390
that are not really helpful
in terms of the family dynamic.
465
00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:08,600
Why is he doing that?
Why is he saying everything we're saying?
466
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,186
It's that book.
It tells him to narrate conversations.
467
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:14,147
Well, we wouldn't need a narrator
if everybody would read the book.
468
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,942
-N.V.C. Non-Violent Communication.
-You should put Adam first.
469
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,111
Adam is family.
He's gonna be around forever.
470
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:21,405
-Benjamin, we're not so sure.
-What does that mean?
471
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:23,365
Well, I mean, you're the one
who said that, you know--
472
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:25,033
Ah! Not now.
473
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,536
A couple of weeks ago,
you said you were gonna break up with him.
474
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,413
But I haven't found the right moment.
475
00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:31,832
It's tough to find the right moment
when you're so far apart.
476
00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:33,292
He lives in Williamsburg.
477
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,295
If you have to go over a bridge,
it might as well be Jersey.
478
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:39,089
Hey, where is Benjamin?
I need to apologize to him.
479
00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:41,091
-For what?
-Dad, please don't.
480
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:43,385
He needs to know that I have things
to say to him.
481
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,137
He doesn't,
and he's probably gonna be a while.
482
00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:46,763
Well, that's because he's hurting.
483
00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:49,933
-I think it's 'cause he has an issue.
-Mmm.
484
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:51,810
What issue?
485
00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:54,187
It's like a medical thing.
What do you care?
486
00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:56,148
I don't care. I just didn't know
he had an issue.
487
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:57,858
It's just colitis. He's not dying.
488
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:00,444
Yeah, what is that exactly?
489
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:01,862
It's the reason he can't have dairy.
490
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:05,073
[Ellen] Colitis makes the linings
of your intestines all puffy.
491
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:07,617
Doesn't the Meshbesher kid
have that? What was his name?
492
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:10,120
[Ellen] Going to the bathroom
becomes a very dangerous thing.
493
00:22:10,203 --> 00:22:12,664
[Richard] Ron! Ron Meshbesher.
Ron. That's his name.
494
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,792
Wait, you said that the Rabbi
said something funny about colitis, right?
495
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:18,503
Oh, um, no, no, no. It was--
It was offensive, actually.
496
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,005
-Oh. Okay.
-Yeah.
497
00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:22,507
[tense music]
498
00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:37,397
[whispering] Benj...
499
00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:43,111
Buddy?
500
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,030
How you doing in there?
501
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,533
[knocking harder]
502
00:22:50,368 --> 00:22:51,995
[in normal voice] Hello?
503
00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:55,540
Benj! Ha-ha!
504
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:57,834
Yeah. Yeah, that's great. That's-- yeah.
505
00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,504
No, that's very funny.
506
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:02,631
Say nothing if you're okay?
507
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,841
[tense music]
508
00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:14,434
Okay.
509
00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:16,561
[Abby] I feel like Mom knows
I drove on Shabbos.
510
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:17,979
[David] If she knew, you'd know.
511
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,439
Yeah.
512
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:21,399
Can't you just tell her that
513
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,735
Benjamin drives and you're
just, like, in the car and...
514
00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:26,488
[Abby and David] Umm... [laughter]
515
00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:28,198
You know, you could try, be like,
516
00:23:28,281 --> 00:23:30,158
"Hey, Mom, sometimes I
get in the car on Shabbos."
517
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:34,246
"Officer, sometimes I travel
with a kilo in my carry-on."
518
00:23:34,329 --> 00:23:36,873
Well, whatever.
I don't think it could be worse
519
00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:40,836
than her reaction to when David
told her about our engagement.
520
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:42,921
Oh, no. What'd she say?
521
00:23:43,004 --> 00:23:44,047
I told you what she said.
522
00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:45,549
No, you just told me that she disapproved.
523
00:23:45,632 --> 00:23:47,843
Oh! No, you can tell her.
524
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:48,927
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
525
00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:50,095
-You can say.
-Do it!
526
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:51,930
-Fine.
-Tell her.
527
00:23:52,013 --> 00:23:54,516
[David] All right.
It was after Grandpa died
528
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:58,186
-and she was sitting Shiva and--
-Ho-ho! Perfect timing.
529
00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:00,897
I don't know. I thought now's
as good a time as any.
530
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:02,816
She'll never be more upset
than she is right now.
531
00:24:02,899 --> 00:24:06,653
So I sat down next to her
and I said, "Mom,
532
00:24:06,736 --> 00:24:08,280
I proposed to Meg and she said yes."
533
00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:10,490
-You're welcome.
-Thank you.
534
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:15,745
And she turned to me
and did that blank stare that she does.
535
00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:17,080
Perfect.
536
00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:20,584
And just goes, "I just started
mourning my father.
537
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:22,460
Now I have to mourn my son."
538
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,383
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
539
00:24:28,466 --> 00:24:30,468
-Wow.
-[Meg] Yeah, it's been a while, though.
540
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:32,512
I'm pretty sure she loves me now.
541
00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:34,264
I mean, she has gotten better.
542
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:36,433
She has, you know, I mean, ever since
you started taking the classes.
543
00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:38,768
-Yeah, um...
-You know I'm on your side, right?
544
00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:42,230
No, I know. I'd just like
my parents there, too.
545
00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:43,648
[Abby] What do you mean?
546
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:46,443
Well, they're just firmly Catholic,
547
00:24:46,526 --> 00:24:48,403
and I kind of want them to be
548
00:24:48,486 --> 00:24:50,071
on board with the whole conversion thing.
549
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:53,074
-And they're just a little--
-Hey, yeah, that's sweet.
550
00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:55,285
That's really sweet.
551
00:24:55,368 --> 00:24:57,204
[voice cracking]
David, can I talk to you for a minute?
552
00:24:57,287 --> 00:24:59,080
Sure, bud.
553
00:25:02,709 --> 00:25:03,919
Is he okay?
554
00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:06,504
Well, no, he's on pills
and they're not working.
555
00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:07,505
Nice.
556
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,884
He won't come out.
557
00:25:10,967 --> 00:25:12,219
Okay.
558
00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:14,346
He's been in there for many minutes.
559
00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:16,389
Okay.
560
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:18,558
Benjamin, everything okay in there?
561
00:25:22,812 --> 00:25:23,939
Benj!
562
00:25:24,814 --> 00:25:26,691
You sure he's in there?
563
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:28,276
Mm-hmm.
564
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,653
-[rattles door knob]
-Where's the key?
565
00:25:29,736 --> 00:25:31,488
-I don't know.
-[rattles door knob]
566
00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:33,031
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
567
00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:36,701
There's something I need to say.
568
00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:38,203
Okay.
569
00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:44,668
Benjamin took my laxatives.
570
00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:47,170
What do you mean?
571
00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:52,676
He asked me for a laxative,
so I gave him one.
572
00:25:52,759 --> 00:25:55,011
Benjamin asked you for a laxative?
573
00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:00,350
-Did you slip him a laxative?
-Shit!
574
00:26:00,433 --> 00:26:02,519
Did you actually do that?
You know he has colitis!
575
00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:05,021
-Well, now I do!
-Oh, God!
576
00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:06,314
Okay. Okay. So you gave him a laxative.
577
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:07,607
-3.
-3?
578
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:09,192
-I gave him 3.
-That's so many.
579
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:10,652
I crushed it into a powder
because, you know,
580
00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:12,028
you don't know how much he's gonna drink.
581
00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:13,530
Right, of course. Basic science!
582
00:26:13,613 --> 00:26:15,156
This was just supposed to make him shit.
583
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,574
Why are you like this?
584
00:26:16,658 --> 00:26:18,243
Of course you pull this shit
on the one night
585
00:26:18,326 --> 00:26:19,452
that Meg's parents are coming to town.
586
00:26:19,536 --> 00:26:21,121
You know what? He is such a prick to me!
587
00:26:21,204 --> 00:26:23,123
This was just a goof.
I was just razzing him.
588
00:26:23,206 --> 00:26:24,291
Shush!
589
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,877
Let's just find the key.
590
00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:29,462
[ding]
591
00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:33,008
Adam.
592
00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:36,761
[key turns in lock]
593
00:26:38,013 --> 00:26:39,431
Oh, God! Oh, God!
594
00:26:39,514 --> 00:26:41,933
[Adam] What? Oh, I smell it!
595
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:43,268
All right, Benj, I'm coming in!
596
00:26:51,526 --> 00:26:52,902
Oh, God!
597
00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:54,279
No, no, no, no, no.
598
00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:57,615
-Does he have a pulse?
-[Adam] No.
599
00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:00,410
-Adam, does he have a pulse!
-No!
600
00:27:00,493 --> 00:27:03,121
Initiating compressions.
601
00:27:03,204 --> 00:27:05,749
Should I--
Should I do the mouth part, or--
602
00:27:05,832 --> 00:27:07,834
-No, that's obsolete!
-Yeah.
603
00:27:07,917 --> 00:27:11,046
Don't worry. I never lose a man.
604
00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:12,339
[bone snaps]
605
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:18,553
He's a goner.
606
00:27:20,221 --> 00:27:21,389
Okay.
607
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,267
Okay.
608
00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:25,560
Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait.
609
00:27:25,643 --> 00:27:27,020
What?
610
00:27:27,103 --> 00:27:29,522
We have to...discuss.
611
00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:30,565
There's nothing to discuss.
612
00:27:30,648 --> 00:27:32,150
Wait! Wait!
613
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:36,112
I just want to make sure
you don't do anything stupid.
614
00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:37,364
Me?
615
00:27:37,447 --> 00:27:39,657
Okay, Okay, he's toast, Okay?
616
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,951
There's absolutely no
chance of him surviving.
617
00:27:42,035 --> 00:27:43,953
Look, I understand, and I'm here for you.
618
00:27:44,037 --> 00:27:46,039
And I love you.
619
00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:48,041
You're my brother.
But right now we got to call an ambulance.
620
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:50,502
[whispering] No, no, no, no.
David, David, David, David, David...
621
00:27:50,585 --> 00:27:54,172
Look...he's been in there for
well over 8 minutes.
622
00:27:54,255 --> 00:27:55,173
He's toast.
623
00:27:55,256 --> 00:27:56,674
Stop saying that. Nobody says that.
624
00:27:56,758 --> 00:27:57,675
But he is!
625
00:27:57,759 --> 00:27:59,969
We're not just gonna leave
a dead body in there.
626
00:28:00,053 --> 00:28:02,263
Use your head! As soon
as they do the bloodwork,
627
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:03,556
it's gonna be obvious
what happened to him.
628
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,308
Why?
629
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,477
Because he has a prescription
laxative in his system
630
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,813
and there's only one person
in this house who can't take a shit!
631
00:28:09,896 --> 00:28:11,147
Well, hopefully they don't check for that.
632
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:12,899
Hopefully?!
633
00:28:12,982 --> 00:28:15,026
Get out of my way.
634
00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:16,694
Adam, stop! Stop it!
635
00:28:23,576 --> 00:28:24,494
This is nice.
636
00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:27,122
Yes.
637
00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:29,374
-No, no!
-That's great, I'm gonna go to Rikers.
638
00:28:29,457 --> 00:28:32,001
-Rikers is closing.
-A different jail then!
639
00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:35,505
-Yeah.
-Look, this was an accident, okay?
640
00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:40,260
I can handle warfare. We both know that,
641
00:28:40,343 --> 00:28:41,553
but not jail.
642
00:28:41,636 --> 00:28:43,638
I can't do jail. I won't get a gun.
643
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,724
[Benjamin passes gas]
644
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,935
Look...
645
00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:54,524
make any call you want to, but he is dead.
646
00:28:55,316 --> 00:28:57,026
So, if you make this decision,
647
00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:59,738
you are just rolling the dice
with my life.
648
00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:04,325
Meg, your parents know it's for 7:00?
649
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:05,535
Yeah, yeah, they're on their way.
650
00:29:05,618 --> 00:29:08,246
Okay. It's-- Okay.
651
00:29:08,329 --> 00:29:11,541
[loud crunching]
652
00:29:11,624 --> 00:29:13,877
Abby, can you wait for dinner?
653
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:18,339
Oh, no, it's seaweed. It's not real food.
654
00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,302
How come you let her eat
something, but not me?
655
00:29:22,385 --> 00:29:23,928
[Ellen] She's not eating the dinner.
656
00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:25,972
-It's for the guests.
-It's a technical difference.
657
00:29:26,055 --> 00:29:27,599
-Abby?
-Yeah?
658
00:29:27,682 --> 00:29:29,809
Can we have a quick sibling conference?
659
00:29:29,893 --> 00:29:32,562
For what?
660
00:29:32,645 --> 00:29:36,149
[whispering] It's a surprise.
661
00:29:36,232 --> 00:29:37,817
[Abby] Okay.
662
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:44,157
[whispering] They're very close.
663
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:45,575
-I know.
-So nice.
664
00:29:45,658 --> 00:29:47,160
They really love each other.
665
00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:50,872
-Uh, uh, um...
-What are you doing?
666
00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:53,333
What's a sibling conference?
What's wrong with him?
667
00:29:53,416 --> 00:29:54,793
Hello.
668
00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:57,378
Before we continue,
I think it's important for you to remember
669
00:29:57,462 --> 00:29:59,631
you've been trying to find the right way
to break up with Benjamin--
670
00:29:59,714 --> 00:30:01,299
Shhh! Shush it!
671
00:30:01,382 --> 00:30:04,093
[Adam] Don't worry. He can't hear us.
672
00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:06,721
How do you know?
673
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:08,181
Uh...
674
00:30:09,182 --> 00:30:10,809
[Abby, whispering] Is it a turd?
675
00:30:12,268 --> 00:30:13,978
God, it does stink--
676
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:24,739
Is he-- Is he dead?
677
00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:27,951
No. No, he's not dead.
678
00:30:28,034 --> 00:30:30,203
Hey. Hey, Beej?
679
00:30:30,286 --> 00:30:32,956
Okay, so he is dead, but I just
really don't want you to scream.
680
00:30:33,039 --> 00:30:35,542
-[Abby screams]
-Shush!
681
00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:37,877
Uh, hey, is everything okay?
682
00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:39,462
Everything's good, everything's great.
683
00:30:39,546 --> 00:30:40,964
-Hey!
-Hi!
684
00:30:43,883 --> 00:30:45,927
Dad, could I bother you for a quick chat?
685
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:47,595
Well, yeah, sure.
686
00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:51,140
[David, whispering] Great. Be right back.
687
00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:52,684
I love you.
688
00:30:52,767 --> 00:30:54,394
Okay.
689
00:31:02,193 --> 00:31:05,822
So, David tells me you're
going to share a d'var Torah.
690
00:31:05,905 --> 00:31:09,284
-Uh-huh. Yep, it's from class.
-Oh good. Good.
691
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:13,496
Yeah, it's good.
692
00:31:16,749 --> 00:31:18,334
You know, I actually,
693
00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:21,254
I mostly learned about the
New Testament growing up,
694
00:31:21,337 --> 00:31:25,216
so it has been really cool
reading up on the Torah.
695
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:28,928
It's like the prequel.
696
00:31:29,012 --> 00:31:31,222
Well, I don't know if it's the prequel.
697
00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:34,058
-It's the main one.
-Right, no yeah, I--
698
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:38,062
That's-- That's what I meant,
um...you know,
699
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:44,027
Judaism is, um...
well, it's something that
700
00:31:44,110 --> 00:31:47,196
I have always wanted
to find out more about.
701
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,616
You know, like the culture
702
00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:56,080
and the TV shows of people
just living in New York...City.
703
00:31:57,832 --> 00:31:59,417
Yeah.
704
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:04,047
Look, Meg, we appreciate you
taking the classes
705
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:08,885
and clearly you're very bright and kind.
706
00:32:08,968 --> 00:32:10,595
I feel like there's a "but" coming.
707
00:32:10,678 --> 00:32:16,267
"And" it's...it's like I have
this houseplant
708
00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:18,978
that was given to me by my mother
709
00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:22,106
that she got from her mother
710
00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:24,901
in Germany,
who received it from her mother,
711
00:32:24,984 --> 00:32:28,404
who was given it by her mother, and so on
712
00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:31,074
for a hundred generations.
713
00:32:31,157 --> 00:32:32,408
That's a long time.
714
00:32:32,492 --> 00:32:34,619
And now it feels like...
715
00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:39,499
like I'm handing this houseplant over
716
00:32:39,582 --> 00:32:42,418
to someone who took
an online course in gardening.
717
00:32:47,173 --> 00:32:49,133
The classes are in person.
718
00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:54,138
[running footsteps]
719
00:33:00,436 --> 00:33:02,188
-[praying in Hebrew]
-Dad, Dad, Dad!
720
00:33:02,271 --> 00:33:04,482
[Praying continues]
-Dad, please stop mumbling.
721
00:33:04,565 --> 00:33:06,192
[David] He's not mumbling, he's praying.
722
00:33:06,275 --> 00:33:08,194
-I don't care! Stop it!
-Will you stop yelling!
723
00:33:08,277 --> 00:33:10,196
Oh, great. Let's do your thing then.
724
00:33:10,279 --> 00:33:12,365
I'm gonna stop yelling if you do something
725
00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:14,993
about your son murdering my boyfriend!
726
00:33:15,076 --> 00:33:17,120
Can we please just, please be quiet!
727
00:33:17,203 --> 00:33:19,580
[Richard] You know, in Korea,
they respect their elders.
728
00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:20,832
Then move to Korea!
729
00:33:20,915 --> 00:33:23,042
[Adam] Look, Abby, I told you
this was a harmless accident.
730
00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:25,211
-[David] Dad?
-[Abby] Harmless? Harmless?!
731
00:33:25,294 --> 00:33:27,171
We need to do something
before Meg's parents get here.
732
00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:29,549
Oh, because what could be more
important than Meg's parents?
733
00:33:29,632 --> 00:33:31,009
-Abby wants to betray us.
-[Abby] Me?!
734
00:33:31,092 --> 00:33:32,510
You didn't mean to do it, right?
735
00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:34,387
-No, of course not.
-Stop doing that!
736
00:33:34,470 --> 00:33:36,681
-What?
-Protecting him!
737
00:33:36,764 --> 00:33:39,350
I did everything I could
to get you that job!
738
00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:41,436
-It was an unpaid internship!
-I don't care what it was!
739
00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:45,023
He was my boyfriend and now he's dead!
740
00:33:45,106 --> 00:33:46,858
Weren't you gonna break up with him?
741
00:33:46,941 --> 00:33:48,568
Maybe!
742
00:33:48,651 --> 00:33:51,946
I'm definitely not gonna
pretend like it didn't happen!
743
00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:54,490
Like, just some spoiled, manipulative--
744
00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:56,159
Benjamin cheated on you!
745
00:33:58,369 --> 00:34:00,538
You think I quit because of PowerPoint?
746
00:34:00,621 --> 00:34:03,499
I quit because he was gallivanting around
747
00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:05,752
making a cuck out of my sister
with some blonde at the--
748
00:34:05,835 --> 00:34:07,503
Okay, that's enough!
749
00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:15,386
Oh, my God, you knew.
750
00:34:18,139 --> 00:34:19,891
And you stayed with him.
751
00:34:21,350 --> 00:34:23,811
I RSVP'd to a wedding.
752
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:26,272
Abby...please.
753
00:34:28,691 --> 00:34:30,151
What's Mom gonna say?
754
00:34:30,234 --> 00:34:32,445
She won't mind.
755
00:34:32,528 --> 00:34:34,822
-How‘s that?
-We won't tell her.
756
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,449
What the hell is going on?
757
00:34:36,532 --> 00:34:39,827
[prayer resumes]
758
00:34:48,586 --> 00:34:50,838
[running footsteps]
759
00:34:56,302 --> 00:34:58,846
[murmured shouting]
760
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:00,431
There's nothing really to see.
761
00:35:00,515 --> 00:35:01,474
Aaah!
762
00:35:01,557 --> 00:35:02,934
Okay, Mom...
763
00:35:03,017 --> 00:35:04,560
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
-Mom! It's okay!
764
00:35:04,644 --> 00:35:06,312
Shh! Shh!
765
00:35:06,395 --> 00:35:07,814
Oh, that poor boy!
766
00:35:07,897 --> 00:35:09,607
Mom, we need to talk about this.
767
00:35:09,690 --> 00:35:11,776
-Oh, my God, that poor boy.
-Let's just talk about it.
768
00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:12,944
What did you do?
769
00:35:13,027 --> 00:35:14,153
Do you want a Klonopin?
770
00:35:14,237 --> 00:35:16,697
[distant frantic voices]
771
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:17,782
[message sent notification]
772
00:35:17,865 --> 00:35:20,326
[frantic voices continue]
773
00:35:20,409 --> 00:35:22,203
[Ellen] What happened exactly?
You did what?
774
00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:24,747
[Adam] No, exactly.
Now I do one prank and I'm the bad guy.
775
00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:27,208
Yes! You literally just murdered someone.
776
00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:28,709
I wasn't trying to murder him.
777
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,128
There are more efficient
ways of doing that.
778
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,213
-Get out of my face.
-Okay, I think we just all agree
779
00:35:32,296 --> 00:35:33,506
that what Adam did was a freak accident.
780
00:35:33,589 --> 00:35:35,883
And now we are all covering up a murder,
which is against the law!
781
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:36,968
Not if you do it well.
782
00:35:37,051 --> 00:35:39,428
[Abby] Oh, my God, you are so creepy.
783
00:35:39,512 --> 00:35:42,181
Truly, I think he has to face
the consequences of his actions.
784
00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:43,891
So, what, we just accept
that Adam goes to jail?
785
00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:45,852
Abby wants me to get rammed in the ass!
786
00:35:45,935 --> 00:35:47,770
Stop saying that. It's homophobic!
787
00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:50,022
-No, it's not!
-It kinda is.
788
00:35:50,106 --> 00:35:52,191
You should care for your brothers
half as much as you care
789
00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:53,276
about policing our speech.
790
00:35:53,359 --> 00:35:54,569
Oh, are you serious right now?
791
00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,028
[crying] I don't know what I am.
792
00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:58,447
Abby, I just want to say
I don't blame you at all for being upset.
793
00:35:58,531 --> 00:36:00,533
-I mean this is horrific.
-Aw, thank you so much for understanding.
794
00:36:00,616 --> 00:36:02,410
I'm really very sorry.
795
00:36:02,493 --> 00:36:04,453
Okay, What he did was stupid,
but it was an accident.
796
00:36:04,537 --> 00:36:06,455
His life should be ruined
because of an accident?
797
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:09,000
Mom, I could give a shit!
Now it's about being practical, okay?
798
00:36:09,083 --> 00:36:11,210
We got to either come up
with a plan, or call this in
799
00:36:11,294 --> 00:36:12,336
because then we're all screwed.
800
00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:13,963
Okay, then let's come with a plan.
801
00:36:14,046 --> 00:36:15,631
-Fine!
-Okay, the plan...
802
00:36:18,968 --> 00:36:22,638
I don't have a plan, but I do know
803
00:36:22,722 --> 00:36:27,393
that we're all gonna figure this out
because everyone here is family.
804
00:36:27,476 --> 00:36:28,644
[gasp]
805
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:32,565
Is he dead?
806
00:36:33,816 --> 00:36:35,401
My daughter!
807
00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:38,779
[glasses clink]
808
00:36:38,863 --> 00:36:40,948
-Uh...
-Meg!
809
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:42,241
-Hey, hey!
-Meg!
810
00:36:42,325 --> 00:36:44,243
[Abby] Meg, I just,
I need you to trust us!
811
00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:46,621
Just give us two
minutes to explain. Please.
812
00:36:46,704 --> 00:36:48,789
[Abby] He's my boyfriend,
and if there's any chance he'd be okay,
813
00:36:48,873 --> 00:36:50,833
I promise you, we would have
already called an ambulance by now.
814
00:36:50,917 --> 00:36:52,168
Just don't do anything sudden.
815
00:36:52,251 --> 00:36:53,961
[David] It was a freak accident
and now Adam is implicated.
816
00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:55,254
-Don't tell her that!
-Well, it's true.
817
00:36:55,338 --> 00:36:56,756
Don't do anything sudden, please.
818
00:36:56,839 --> 00:36:58,007
We just need one minute to explain.
819
00:36:58,090 --> 00:36:59,383
Aw, shit!
820
00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:00,718
-Aw, shit, shit, shit!
-Say something!
821
00:37:00,801 --> 00:37:01,886
Meg!
822
00:37:03,804 --> 00:37:06,140
I love you, and this is your choice.
823
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:07,600
-How could you!?
-What!?
824
00:37:07,683 --> 00:37:09,101
Meg, please don't call the police.
825
00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:11,312
I'm calling my parents...
826
00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:12,438
-[ringing]
-to cancel.
827
00:37:12,521 --> 00:37:13,564
[Ellen] Oh, thank God.
828
00:37:15,441 --> 00:37:18,152
[ringing continues]
829
00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:19,612
[recording] Hello, this is John.
830
00:37:19,695 --> 00:37:21,781
Shit. He's not answering,
831
00:37:21,864 --> 00:37:23,741
but we texted earlier and they said
that they were running late.
832
00:37:23,824 --> 00:37:25,785
Right. So we should just assume
that they're coming any minute now.
833
00:37:25,868 --> 00:37:27,954
-Oh, yeah.
-Can we think of an idea,
834
00:37:28,037 --> 00:37:30,539
just anything,
anything that could possibly save Adam?
835
00:37:30,623 --> 00:37:32,166
-Thanks, Mom.
-Okay, so,
836
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,501
if they find Benjamin's body here,
837
00:37:33,584 --> 00:37:34,585
that's an obvious connection to Adam.
838
00:37:34,669 --> 00:37:38,172
You need to move
Benjamin to his apartment, right?
839
00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:42,760
You know, give him one of
those New York deaths.
840
00:37:42,843 --> 00:37:44,679
Okay.
841
00:37:45,721 --> 00:37:46,681
What is that?
842
00:37:46,764 --> 00:37:50,601
You know, somebody dies
in their apartment,
843
00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:52,687
and then they just lay there
for a couple of days
844
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:55,022
until somebody else smells the body,
845
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:57,108
and then they call
the landlord and they find him.
846
00:37:57,191 --> 00:37:58,526
[Ellen] Uhh!
847
00:37:58,609 --> 00:38:00,820
So, we just drive Benjamin
to his apartment and leave him there?
848
00:38:00,903 --> 00:38:02,905
Yeah! That's the plan.
849
00:38:02,989 --> 00:38:04,699
Can you go downstairs
and change out of your murder pants?
850
00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:07,285
-Well, what car do you plan on using?
-Benjamin's.
851
00:38:07,368 --> 00:38:09,996
It's all the way in Brooklyn!
852
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:12,164
[Ellen gasps]
853
00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:13,916
You drove here?
854
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,002
How is this worse than murder?
855
00:38:16,085 --> 00:38:18,379
-Oh...
-[David] Mom, lock it up.
856
00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:20,464
If we're gonna do something,
we need to do it immediately.
857
00:38:20,548 --> 00:38:22,758
-Where are his keys?
-I'll get them.
858
00:38:22,842 --> 00:38:25,303
-Thank you. Okay. Okay.
-Okay. Okay.
859
00:38:25,386 --> 00:38:26,554
[Meg gasps] No, not okay.
860
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:29,056
We cannot move Benjamin to his car.
861
00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:31,017
What? Why not?
862
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:32,768
Curry.
863
00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:38,149
-Hey Jordan!
-Oh, shi-- bruh!
864
00:38:38,232 --> 00:38:39,734
-Sorry.
-Yo, are you good?
865
00:38:39,817 --> 00:38:41,819
You're looking kind of bad right now.
866
00:38:41,902 --> 00:38:44,196
No, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
867
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,908
Could you maybe um, do me a fav--
a little-- it's just a little favor?
868
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:49,410
-Yeah?
-It's kind of a huge one.
869
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:50,703
Okay...
870
00:38:50,786 --> 00:38:52,496
Could you maybe just delete
871
00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,749
all the lobby footage for the
rest of the night?
872
00:38:56,083 --> 00:38:57,710
-Delete the footage?
-Uh-huh.
873
00:39:00,379 --> 00:39:03,299
Aw shit, what's going on?
874
00:39:03,382 --> 00:39:05,176
What's going...
875
00:39:05,259 --> 00:39:06,302
Nothing.
876
00:39:06,385 --> 00:39:09,138
Obviously it's not nothing,
you're asking me to delete the foot--
877
00:39:09,221 --> 00:39:11,098
It's just something that
I really can't get into right now,
878
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,224
so it's really hard to explain.
879
00:39:12,308 --> 00:39:13,976
-Come on, you could tell me.
-I really can't.
880
00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:15,770
Yes, you can. Look at you, man.
881
00:39:15,853 --> 00:39:18,814
-Obviously, you need my help.
-No, believe me...
882
00:39:18,898 --> 00:39:20,274
please.
883
00:39:21,776 --> 00:39:23,903
This is something that you
can't help with.
884
00:39:23,986 --> 00:39:26,030
Okay, Jordan, this is um...
885
00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:30,326
[whispering] This is as bad as it gets.
886
00:39:30,409 --> 00:39:32,745
-Is Richie okay?
-Oh, yeah, he's fine.
887
00:39:32,828 --> 00:39:36,040
Oh, my God. Look, bro, I don't
know what this is,
888
00:39:36,123 --> 00:39:37,750
but I know you need my help.
889
00:39:37,833 --> 00:39:41,128
I mean, you're basically asking me to...
890
00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:44,173
Don't you think it's suspicious
if Friday's footage just disappeared?
891
00:39:47,676 --> 00:39:50,179
You should ask me to
delete the whole drive.
892
00:39:50,262 --> 00:39:52,640
-Is that possible?
-Yes.
893
00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:56,602
David, you guys, the Gelfands,
you're family, bro.
894
00:39:56,685 --> 00:39:59,105
Richie talks to me about real shit.
895
00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:01,649
Richie talks to me about Jewish shit, bro.
896
00:40:01,732 --> 00:40:03,692
-You know I been here 15 years.
-Mm-hmm.
897
00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:07,196
And there's only one apartment
I rock with...
898
00:40:07,279 --> 00:40:08,739
10B.
899
00:40:10,491 --> 00:40:12,451
You'll do it? You'll delete the footage?
900
00:40:12,535 --> 00:40:13,786
Absolutely.
901
00:40:14,703 --> 00:40:17,164
-Jordan, thank you so much.
-No, no problem, bruh.
902
00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,624
-Thank you.
-[Jordan] All right, now,
903
00:40:18,707 --> 00:40:20,709
let me upstairs to help you fix this.
904
00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:27,550
Don't look at me like that,
brother. We're family, right?
905
00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:31,011
Can't be nothing I haven't seen before.
906
00:40:32,012 --> 00:40:33,139
Jordan--
907
00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:35,683
And now that I'm involved
in whatever this is,
908
00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:38,227
I got to make sure you don't mess it up.
909
00:40:39,061 --> 00:40:40,896
-[cell phone ringing]
-[Meg] They're not picking up.
910
00:40:40,980 --> 00:40:42,189
[recording] Hello, this is John.
911
00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:43,774
I should go down and wait for them, right?
912
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:47,611
-[door opens]
-What's popping, 10B?
913
00:40:47,695 --> 00:40:51,782
Jordan, you're here.
Why are you here?
914
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:53,492
He's gonna help us.
915
00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:54,994
That's right. I'm gonna help you guys.
916
00:40:55,077 --> 00:40:57,746
-David?
-Jordan, I think we should go.
917
00:40:57,830 --> 00:41:00,332
Uh, no, we're not going anywhere.
918
00:41:00,416 --> 00:41:01,667
We're not going anywhere.
919
00:41:02,835 --> 00:41:04,795
What are you doing here?
920
00:41:04,879 --> 00:41:07,214
[Jordan] Adam, hi.
Skipping leg day, I see.
921
00:41:07,298 --> 00:41:09,800
Meg... how's it going so far?
922
00:41:10,676 --> 00:41:11,969
-Could be better.
-All right.
923
00:41:12,052 --> 00:41:14,388
-I'm gonna get you out of this.
-He's gonna get us out.
924
00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,432
You know Pulp Fiction,
the guy with the suit?
925
00:41:16,515 --> 00:41:17,933
The guy with the suit--
Sam Jackson.
926
00:41:18,017 --> 00:41:19,477
-The White one.
-John Travolta?
927
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,729
-Nope, the one with the mustache.
-Mario.
928
00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:23,063
The Wolf.
929
00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:24,690
Bingo. The Wolf.
930
00:41:26,066 --> 00:41:27,276
I'm your wolf, baby.
931
00:41:27,359 --> 00:41:28,694
We are so fucked.
932
00:41:28,777 --> 00:41:32,198
Now... show me what's up.
933
00:41:34,867 --> 00:41:37,036
What could be the big deal?
934
00:41:37,119 --> 00:41:38,913
All right. Why is he on his back?
935
00:41:38,996 --> 00:41:40,831
You gotta roll him on his side, bruh.
936
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:43,751
You gotta roll him on his side.
937
00:41:50,424 --> 00:41:51,509
He's toast.
938
00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:53,260
Uh-huh. Big time.
939
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,387
Why didn't anyone say he's dead?
940
00:41:56,096 --> 00:41:57,932
Well, Jordan...
941
00:41:58,015 --> 00:41:59,058
I implied.
942
00:41:59,141 --> 00:42:01,227
How, David? Hmm? How?
943
00:42:02,019 --> 00:42:03,395
When you said you needed help--
944
00:42:03,479 --> 00:42:06,649
I was very stern with how
I said that we needed help.
945
00:42:06,732 --> 00:42:08,526
I'm a freaking doorman.
946
00:42:08,609 --> 00:42:11,737
Help to me? Changing a light bulb.
947
00:42:11,820 --> 00:42:13,739
Finding Richard's Orthotics upstairs.
948
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,367
I don't do dead body, David.
949
00:42:16,450 --> 00:42:17,910
Oh, God, I just, I--
950
00:42:18,786 --> 00:42:20,788
I thought, you know,
you were so insistent--
951
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:22,122
-Nu-uh-hh.
-You just--
952
00:42:22,206 --> 00:42:23,874
Never imply dead.
953
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:26,043
Never imply dead.
954
00:42:26,126 --> 00:42:29,755
You say dead. You don't imply it. Okay?
955
00:42:29,838 --> 00:42:31,632
-Yeah.
-Now I'm dead. Dead to rights.
956
00:42:31,715 --> 00:42:34,093
Fingerprints everywhere, David.
957
00:42:36,136 --> 00:42:38,180
I, uh...
958
00:42:38,264 --> 00:42:39,682
I touched his neck, didn't I?
959
00:42:39,765 --> 00:42:40,933
-You touched him all over.
-Shit!
960
00:42:41,016 --> 00:42:42,685
[Ellen] Jordan, I'm so sorry.
961
00:42:42,768 --> 00:42:44,979
You should go back downstairs.
We won't involve you.
962
00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:46,772
You better believe I'm involved.
963
00:42:46,855 --> 00:42:50,442
We're across the Red Sea,
and there's no turning back now, Ellen.
964
00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:52,736
I have a soluti-- oh, Jordan!
965
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,697
Ha-ha! Richard, what's happening?
966
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:56,073
What it do?
967
00:42:56,156 --> 00:42:57,825
Oh, you know,
I'm trying to be like you, pimp.
968
00:42:57,908 --> 00:42:59,243
[Richard] Oh, say less!
969
00:43:00,452 --> 00:43:01,662
Salute!
970
00:43:01,745 --> 00:43:03,414
Yeah, but things are bad.
971
00:43:03,497 --> 00:43:05,457
Hey, don't worry about it, my guy.
972
00:43:05,541 --> 00:43:07,918
-I'm gonna take care of this.
-No, no, that's not necessary.
973
00:43:08,002 --> 00:43:10,129
I know exactly what to do.
974
00:43:10,212 --> 00:43:12,840
O.F.N.R.
975
00:43:12,923 --> 00:43:14,675
Is that like a medical term?
976
00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:16,510
-No.
-It's his stupid book.
977
00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:19,763
O-, we observe that there is a body.
978
00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:23,017
F, we feel panic and tension.
979
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:25,060
Richard! Enough!
980
00:43:25,144 --> 00:43:26,228
[Jordan] Okay, hold on now.
981
00:43:26,312 --> 00:43:28,397
Let him finish. Richie, go ahead.
982
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:29,982
Thank you, Jordan.
983
00:43:30,065 --> 00:43:32,735
R, I request...
984
00:43:32,818 --> 00:43:35,571
Look, the Talmud has these laws.
985
00:43:35,654 --> 00:43:37,615
Talmud's always got something to say.
986
00:43:37,698 --> 00:43:41,076
So, it's forbidden to carry
a dead body on Shabbos.
987
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,162
But the Talmud also says
988
00:43:43,245 --> 00:43:47,082
that it's okay to carry an infant
or a loaf of bread.
989
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:50,210
So, if we put a loaf of bread
on the body, then it's okay,
990
00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:51,920
because the body works like a platter.
991
00:43:52,004 --> 00:43:54,757
-Platter?
-Doesn't that make sense?
992
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,884
-Thank you, Richard.
-You're welcome.
993
00:43:56,967 --> 00:43:58,844
At this point, 911 isn't an option.
994
00:43:58,927 --> 00:44:00,679
Certainly not.
We've already crossed the sea.
995
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:03,599
-Exactly.
-So does anyone have any bread?
996
00:44:03,682 --> 00:44:05,184
No one's getting any bread, Dad!
997
00:44:05,267 --> 00:44:06,352
What, you got an infant?
998
00:44:06,435 --> 00:44:08,520
Okay, hold on. No one's
getting bread or an infant.
999
00:44:08,604 --> 00:44:10,105
-People, can we...
-Shit.
1000
00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:11,899
Someone needs to go downstairs
before my parents get here.
1001
00:44:11,982 --> 00:44:13,525
Hold on one minute, can we make a plan?
1002
00:44:13,609 --> 00:44:14,985
Oh, we already have one of those. Yeah.
1003
00:44:15,069 --> 00:44:16,904
We're gonna take his body,
we're gonna put it in his car.
1004
00:44:16,987 --> 00:44:18,447
We're gonna take him back to his apartment
1005
00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:19,990
and we're just going to leave it--
1006
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:21,533
-we're gonna leave him there.
-A New York death.
1007
00:44:21,617 --> 00:44:24,995
Yeah, that's plan "A,"
but we need to get "B" and "C" working.
1008
00:44:25,079 --> 00:44:26,580
I think we should focus on "A."
1009
00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,374
No, no, no, no.
We only have time for one plan.
1010
00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:30,793
Okay, I'll think as we go, all right?
1011
00:44:30,876 --> 00:44:33,337
But I need you all to follow
my lead, no hesitation.
1012
00:44:33,420 --> 00:44:35,589
Are we on the same page?
1, 2, 3, all eyes on me.
1013
00:44:35,673 --> 00:44:37,841
-Uh-huh.
-Ellen, do you have any rugs?
1014
00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:40,135
Uh...Abby's getting the comforter.
1015
00:44:40,219 --> 00:44:41,595
-Comforter's great!
-I'll go get it.
1016
00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,430
-Thanks, Mom.
-[Jordan] Guys, huddle up,
1017
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:46,975
let me quarterback this.
Richard, you are entirely too close.
1018
00:44:47,059 --> 00:44:48,769
No I'm fucking. You know I love my guy.
1019
00:44:48,852 --> 00:44:50,896
Anyway, watch this. All right,
when they come back,
1020
00:44:50,979 --> 00:44:53,399
we're gonna wrap the body
in the comforter. Then...
1021
00:44:53,482 --> 00:44:56,402
the luggage cart won't work, obviously,
because you can see right through it.
1022
00:44:56,485 --> 00:44:58,904
So, I'll have to go next door
and get the garbage cart.
1023
00:44:58,987 --> 00:45:00,239
-Then, David--
-Yeah?
1024
00:45:00,322 --> 00:45:02,866
you and me are gonna put the body in
and bring it to his car,
1025
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:04,410
-[car alarm beeps]
-After that,
1026
00:45:04,493 --> 00:45:06,453
I can't leave the building,
so it's gonna have to be Meg--
1027
00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:07,955
-Me.
-and David who drive him back
1028
00:45:08,038 --> 00:45:09,873
and carry him into his apartment.
1029
00:45:09,957 --> 00:45:10,958
Touchdown.
1030
00:45:11,041 --> 00:45:12,167
Okay.
-Yeah?
1031
00:45:12,251 --> 00:45:13,460
What am I supposed to do?
1032
00:45:15,254 --> 00:45:18,173
Close the curtains
and scrub the bathroom with Lysol.
1033
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:21,885
-Why the curtains?
-Richard, explain, please.
1034
00:45:21,969 --> 00:45:23,137
[whispering] I'm not sure.
1035
00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:24,513
[Meg] So people can't see in the windows.
1036
00:45:24,596 --> 00:45:26,140
Exactly.
1037
00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:28,392
And we got to hurry,
my shift's up at 8:00.
1038
00:45:28,475 --> 00:45:31,478
After that, we got to deal with Cano,
and we don't want to deal with Cano.
1039
00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:35,858
[Jordan] You're pretty good at this.
1040
00:45:35,941 --> 00:45:38,360
Just wrap it, like an egg roll.
1041
00:45:38,444 --> 00:45:40,320
[Jordan] An egg roll? I hate egg rolls.
1042
00:45:40,404 --> 00:45:42,990
Jordan, I really think that
someone needs to
1043
00:45:43,073 --> 00:45:44,491
go downstairs and look for my parents.
1044
00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:47,536
That's a good call. Meg, that's on you.
1045
00:45:47,619 --> 00:45:51,206
When you smoke blunts
you gotta roll 'em tight.
1046
00:45:51,290 --> 00:45:53,709
-[Jordan] I'm gonna get his legs.
-[Ellen] Okay.
1047
00:45:55,794 --> 00:45:57,171
Don't ask.
1048
00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:03,469
[gasps] Hi! Mom! Dad!
1049
00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:05,471
-[John] Hi, sweetie!
-[Meg] Hey, guys!
1050
00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:07,222
Oh, my God!
1051
00:46:07,306 --> 00:46:09,808
-Richard!
-Dad! Dad!
1052
00:46:09,892 --> 00:46:11,310
-Richard, don't you dare!
-Dad!
1053
00:46:11,393 --> 00:46:13,437
Yeah, he's not coming back.
1054
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,440
-[Meg] Dad!
-[John] Hi, how are you?
1055
00:46:16,523 --> 00:46:18,734
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, whoa!
1056
00:46:18,817 --> 00:46:21,653
[laughter]
1057
00:46:22,696 --> 00:46:24,198
[John] Now, that's crazy, huh?
1058
00:46:24,281 --> 00:46:26,283
They're here, right?
I mean, this is happening.
1059
00:46:26,366 --> 00:46:28,327
This is definitely happening. Yep.
1060
00:46:28,410 --> 00:46:31,413
Okay, Okay! So we're gonna go out there,
we're gonna be nice
1061
00:46:31,497 --> 00:46:33,290
and we're gonna be cordial,
and then we're gonna have
1062
00:46:33,373 --> 00:46:35,792
a nice, pleasant dinner, and then
we'll send them on their way!
1063
00:46:35,876 --> 00:46:36,919
Okay?
-Okay.
1064
00:46:37,002 --> 00:46:39,129
Where is everyone? Hello!
1065
00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:40,464
[laughter]
1066
00:46:40,547 --> 00:46:42,257
They'll be here in-- in a second.
1067
00:46:42,341 --> 00:46:45,010
-Are they not home?
-Yes, they're in the kitchen.
1068
00:46:45,093 --> 00:46:46,386
How did you guys get up here?
1069
00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:48,847
Well, there was no doorman,
so we just headed on up.
1070
00:46:48,931 --> 00:46:51,058
-Great.
-Who do I give the wine to?
1071
00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:53,227
-Um...
-I'll take that.
1072
00:46:53,310 --> 00:46:55,020
Hi! I'm Beth!
1073
00:46:55,103 --> 00:46:56,480
I don't know who I am anymore.
1074
00:46:56,563 --> 00:46:59,024
Mom, eyes! We got this!
1075
00:46:59,107 --> 00:47:00,317
Yeah.
1076
00:47:01,068 --> 00:47:03,403
Now go out there and say hi.
1077
00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:05,656
You go. They're your in-laws!
1078
00:47:05,739 --> 00:47:07,866
[Abby] This is a great start.
1079
00:47:08,617 --> 00:47:09,826
Okay.
1080
00:47:12,037 --> 00:47:13,497
[David] Hi!
1081
00:47:13,580 --> 00:47:16,458
-All the way from Milwaukee!
-Hey!
1082
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:17,459
[laughter]
1083
00:47:17,543 --> 00:47:18,669
-Hiya!
-Hey.
1084
00:47:18,752 --> 00:47:20,128
[John] Good to see ya.
1085
00:47:20,212 --> 00:47:21,672
Actually, we drove in from Connecticut.
1086
00:47:21,755 --> 00:47:22,839
Oh!
1087
00:47:22,923 --> 00:47:24,550
Yeah, we were visiting
friends in Connecticut.
1088
00:47:24,633 --> 00:47:27,135
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How are the Packers?
1089
00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:29,763
Don't remind him.
He's missing the game on Sunday.
1090
00:47:29,846 --> 00:47:32,599
-The things we do for family.
-Yeah.
1091
00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:34,810
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1092
00:47:34,893 --> 00:47:35,769
Yeah.
1093
00:47:37,062 --> 00:47:38,146
Welcome!
1094
00:47:38,230 --> 00:47:39,731
-Abby?
-Yes!
1095
00:47:39,815 --> 00:47:41,233
-John.
-Hi.
1096
00:47:41,316 --> 00:47:43,443
He likes to learn everyone's
name in advance, Abby.
1097
00:47:43,527 --> 00:47:46,780
Well, I don't memorize them,
but I like to remember what I'm told.
1098
00:47:46,863 --> 00:47:48,407
Wow. That's right.
1099
00:47:48,490 --> 00:47:51,118
Oh, I'm David's sister
and soon to be Meg's sister.
1100
00:47:51,201 --> 00:47:53,120
-Aww...
-[laughter]
1101
00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:55,247
[thud in bathroom]
1102
00:47:55,330 --> 00:47:57,499
Cantaloupe.
1103
00:47:57,583 --> 00:47:58,834
Family loves cantaloupe.
1104
00:47:58,917 --> 00:48:00,294
-Let's go this way.
-Can I help?
1105
00:48:00,377 --> 00:48:01,753
No, no, no, no. We should go this way.
1106
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:03,755
-Can you help me in the--
-We're gonna show you--
1107
00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:05,424
-Mom, let's go.
-house stuff.
1108
00:48:12,639 --> 00:48:15,767
[horn honking]
1109
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,945
[muttering]
1110
00:48:27,029 --> 00:48:28,655
-[door opens]
-[Ellen] Richard. Get. Up!
1111
00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:29,615
-No.
-Up!
1112
00:48:29,698 --> 00:48:31,325
No, I can't, and I won't!
1113
00:48:32,784 --> 00:48:34,578
I swear to God, I'll drop this.
1114
00:48:34,661 --> 00:48:35,829
No, you wouldn't!
1115
00:48:36,830 --> 00:48:38,332
Richard.
1116
00:48:38,415 --> 00:48:40,417
Your children need you.
1117
00:48:40,500 --> 00:48:42,586
David needs you to make a good impression
1118
00:48:42,669 --> 00:48:45,756
and then kick them out in 18 minutes.
1119
00:48:45,839 --> 00:48:48,050
Look, I'm still trying
to figure things out here.
1120
00:48:48,133 --> 00:48:50,010
Use your breathing technique.
1121
00:48:50,093 --> 00:48:51,094
Which one?
1122
00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:53,096
The Alexander Technique.
1123
00:48:53,180 --> 00:48:54,473
That's for posture.
1124
00:48:54,556 --> 00:48:56,558
You'll breathe on the way up.
1125
00:48:56,642 --> 00:49:00,228
In... Out... In...
1126
00:49:00,312 --> 00:49:02,689
[John] Oh! We were caught in
traffic for like--
1127
00:49:02,773 --> 00:49:05,484
[Ellen] Hello, hello!
1128
00:49:05,567 --> 00:49:06,943
You must be John and Beth.
1129
00:49:07,027 --> 00:49:08,153
Now, which one is which?
1130
00:49:08,236 --> 00:49:09,780
-[laughter]
-Richard.
1131
00:49:09,863 --> 00:49:12,949
No, you must be Beth. Hi. I'm Richard.
1132
00:49:13,033 --> 00:49:14,534
And I guess that means you're John?
1133
00:49:14,618 --> 00:49:16,662
-That's right.
-Nice to meet you.
1134
00:49:16,745 --> 00:49:18,872
We apologize for being so late.
I couldn't believe the traffic.
1135
00:49:18,955 --> 00:49:22,209
You're not late.
You're our guests of honor.
1136
00:49:22,292 --> 00:49:24,127
Dinner starts when you arrive.
1137
00:49:24,211 --> 00:49:26,713
-Mmm...
-Mm-hmm.
1138
00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:30,634
David was telling us that
you've been married for 37 years.
1139
00:49:30,717 --> 00:49:32,302
On our way to 40.
1140
00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:36,807
Yeah, but it feels like
4 minutes...underwater.
1141
00:49:36,890 --> 00:49:38,600
Oh...
1142
00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:40,394
[Ellen, softly] Richard.
1143
00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:44,564
Oh, John, would you like a
yarmulke to wear for dinner?
1144
00:49:44,648 --> 00:49:47,693
-Is it, uh, mandatory?
-No, no, of course not.
1145
00:49:47,776 --> 00:49:49,277
I mean, some men like
the tradition, but it's--
1146
00:49:49,361 --> 00:49:50,862
Oh, that's all right, thank you.
1147
00:49:50,946 --> 00:49:52,322
Oh, sure, no problem.
1148
00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:54,157
I'm just not much of a hat guy.
1149
00:49:54,241 --> 00:49:55,701
Yeah, me neither.
1150
00:49:55,784 --> 00:49:58,745
Mine's always like, sliding
off my head, you know?
1151
00:49:58,829 --> 00:50:01,081
Kind of strange...
1152
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:04,084
[Ellen] So...
1153
00:50:06,128 --> 00:50:07,337
who wants to eat?
1154
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:08,839
[chairs scraping on floor]
1155
00:50:11,758 --> 00:50:13,927
[clearing throat]
1156
00:50:14,010 --> 00:50:18,140
Now we begin by singing a Hebrew song
to welcome Shabbat,
1157
00:50:18,223 --> 00:50:20,267
and then say a blessing before the meal.
1158
00:50:20,350 --> 00:50:23,478
Well, thank you. We're very curious.
1159
00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:26,356
[Beth] Oh, okay, you had some.
Did you like it?
1160
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,817
It has an "OU" on it
so, you know, it's Kosher.
1161
00:50:28,900 --> 00:50:30,777
Fantastic. Thank you.
1162
00:50:33,155 --> 00:50:35,949
[David sings a Hebrew hymn]
1163
00:50:36,032 --> 00:50:38,785
[all sing Hebrew hymn]
1164
00:50:41,997 --> 00:50:44,166
[singing faster]
1165
00:50:46,626 --> 00:50:47,919
Okay, that's the end of the song.
1166
00:50:48,003 --> 00:50:49,880
-Yes, that is it.
-Good song, huh?
1167
00:50:49,963 --> 00:50:51,465
So, now it's customary
1168
00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:55,177
that we all stand
before we start the meal.
1169
00:50:55,260 --> 00:50:56,261
It's called Kiddush.
1170
00:50:56,344 --> 00:50:57,763
Oh, the Kiddush.
1171
00:50:57,846 --> 00:50:59,514
Oh, that's an interesting word.
1172
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:06,313
[Richard] The wine-- oh.
1173
00:51:06,396 --> 00:51:08,356
[dripping]
1174
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:12,110
It's traditional to make the wine overflow
1175
00:51:12,194 --> 00:51:15,572
to symbolize a good week
overflowing with happiness.
1176
00:51:15,655 --> 00:51:16,990
-Yeah.
-Isn't that right?
1177
00:51:17,073 --> 00:51:18,283
Right, yes, beautiful.
1178
00:51:18,366 --> 00:51:20,035
[anxious laughter]
1179
00:51:20,118 --> 00:51:23,789
[Richard chants]
1180
00:51:23,872 --> 00:51:29,294
[Richard continues to
chant in the dining room]
1181
00:51:29,377 --> 00:51:30,462
-Amen.
-Amen.
1182
00:51:30,545 --> 00:51:32,798
[John] Amen. I know that one.
1183
00:52:10,085 --> 00:52:14,172
[Richard chants]
1184
00:52:16,925 --> 00:52:18,343
[all] Amen.
1185
00:52:18,426 --> 00:52:20,178
-Amen.
-Amen.
1186
00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:22,097
-[Richard] Okay, there you go.
-Thanks, Dad.
1187
00:52:22,180 --> 00:52:24,558
Ooh, there you go! Mom?
1188
00:52:24,641 --> 00:52:25,559
Oh.
-Sorry.
1189
00:52:25,642 --> 00:52:26,935
Adam!
1190
00:52:27,018 --> 00:52:29,187
This is how we do it here. And you?
1191
00:52:29,271 --> 00:52:31,439
And here you go, John.
I'll just hand it to you.
1192
00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:32,649
-There you go.
-Thank you.
1193
00:52:32,732 --> 00:52:34,317
Time for soup.
1194
00:52:34,401 --> 00:52:35,485
Oh!
1195
00:52:35,569 --> 00:52:36,987
-No, please.
-I insist.
1196
00:52:37,070 --> 00:52:38,071
No, no, it's fine.
1197
00:52:38,154 --> 00:52:39,698
Mom it's fine. It's fine.
1198
00:52:39,781 --> 00:52:43,577
I don't allow guests to help.
It's a tradition.
1199
00:52:43,660 --> 00:52:44,786
-Oh.
-Abby?
1200
00:52:44,870 --> 00:52:46,538
[Beth] Oh, okay, please, I--
1201
00:52:46,621 --> 00:52:48,915
-No.
-It's tradition. Just...
1202
00:52:52,210 --> 00:52:53,253
Okay.
1203
00:52:53,336 --> 00:52:57,257
You know, I have a special history
with this city.
1204
00:52:57,340 --> 00:52:58,800
When I was 8 years old,
1205
00:52:58,884 --> 00:53:01,970
my uncle brought me here for Christmas.
1206
00:53:02,053 --> 00:53:03,847
That's such a beautiful time of the year.
1207
00:53:03,930 --> 00:53:07,475
It was quite magical.
Just walking down Fifth Avenue,
1208
00:53:07,559 --> 00:53:11,146
seeing all the Christmas lights
and the Christmas displays--
1209
00:53:11,229 --> 00:53:12,606
-The men!
-What?
1210
00:53:12,689 --> 00:53:16,151
The man's chant!
It's a tradition. We forgot--
1211
00:53:16,234 --> 00:53:20,947
It's a tradition. All the men
must close their eyes and chant.
1212
00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:22,657
Um, what do I do?
1213
00:53:22,741 --> 00:53:23,992
And you can do it too, Beth.
1214
00:53:24,075 --> 00:53:25,827
-Oh, really?
-Yeah, but don't chant.
1215
00:53:25,911 --> 00:53:27,287
-No, of course not.
-Okay.
1216
00:53:27,370 --> 00:53:29,289
Okay. So...
-Dad.
1217
00:53:29,372 --> 00:53:31,207
-What? We cover our eyes,
-Okay.
1218
00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:32,542
and we chant.
1219
00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:33,919
Okay, just cover your eyes, everyone.
1220
00:53:34,002 --> 00:53:35,587
Okay, now keep them covered all the way.
1221
00:53:35,670 --> 00:53:37,047
Please don't touch me.
1222
00:53:37,130 --> 00:53:38,298
Just cover-- it's part of the tradition.
1223
00:53:38,381 --> 00:53:39,716
Okay. Okay.
1224
00:53:39,799 --> 00:53:42,469
Okay, here we go.
[Richard improvises a chant]
1225
00:53:45,305 --> 00:53:49,184
[chanting continues, others join]
1226
00:53:49,267 --> 00:53:53,730
[all chanting, playing along]
1227
00:53:53,813 --> 00:53:56,608
♪ Ay, yuy, yuy, yuy! ♪
1228
00:54:03,907 --> 00:54:05,992
[chanting concludes]
1229
00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:07,410
That's it.
1230
00:54:07,494 --> 00:54:09,371
-Good man chant.
-Yeah.
1231
00:54:09,454 --> 00:54:10,538
-Amen.
-Amen.
1232
00:54:10,622 --> 00:54:12,332
-Amen.
-To what?
1233
00:54:12,415 --> 00:54:14,417
To the-- to the-- to the blessing.
1234
00:54:14,501 --> 00:54:18,213
That was the blessing!
I feel like I was at the Wailing Wall!
1235
00:54:18,296 --> 00:54:19,965
[laughter]
1236
00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:21,967
Yeah, no, it's a beautiful blessing.
We do it every week.
1237
00:54:22,050 --> 00:54:23,385
-Yeah.
-Interesting,
1238
00:54:23,468 --> 00:54:24,928
but why don't the women participate?
1239
00:54:25,011 --> 00:54:26,554
It's a great question, John.
1240
00:54:26,638 --> 00:54:29,432
It's because Eve ate the apple,
so you can't chant.
1241
00:54:29,516 --> 00:54:31,476
Eve was a fool. I'd never eat the apple.
1242
00:54:31,559 --> 00:54:33,853
-But you still can't chant.
-You still can't chant.
1243
00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:35,689
What are your other kids doing?
1244
00:54:35,772 --> 00:54:37,649
Meghan's siblings all live overseas.
1245
00:54:37,732 --> 00:54:39,234
For quite some time now.
1246
00:54:39,317 --> 00:54:41,861
And so what did you do to
make them all want to leave?
1247
00:54:41,945 --> 00:54:44,072
-Oh, you're very funny!
-Aww.
1248
00:54:44,155 --> 00:54:49,953
Actually, Meghan's sister, Beatrice,
she lives in Milan,
1249
00:54:50,036 --> 00:54:52,664
working as a fashion consultant.
1250
00:54:52,747 --> 00:54:54,374
Mmm, mmm.
1251
00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:56,209
That's a lovely camisole
you have on there.
1252
00:54:56,292 --> 00:54:57,961
Thank you.
1253
00:54:58,044 --> 00:54:59,462
-It's not a camisole.
-But it is lovely.
1254
00:54:59,546 --> 00:55:01,089
I have some talent,
1255
00:55:01,172 --> 00:55:04,718
not much, but, but Beatrice
did get me 40% off.
1256
00:55:05,885 --> 00:55:07,721
It's a pretty good discount, huh? Hmm?
1257
00:55:07,804 --> 00:55:09,180
[silverware drops on plate]
1258
00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:12,142
[Beth laughs nervously]
1259
00:55:12,225 --> 00:55:17,939
You know, when David asked us
for permission to marry Meghan,
1260
00:55:18,023 --> 00:55:20,650
-of course we said yes.
-[John] We love David.
1261
00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:24,487
But what really moved me was...
I asked David
1262
00:55:24,571 --> 00:55:28,700
and he said he would be
willing to move anywhere
1263
00:55:28,783 --> 00:55:32,537
that Meghan wanted,
even back to Wisconsin.
1264
00:55:32,620 --> 00:55:35,790
Well, I don't know Mom.
I really like New York.
1265
00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:38,793
[Beth] Well, I did, too, in my twenties,
but people move on.
1266
00:55:38,877 --> 00:55:40,295
Not always.
1267
00:55:40,378 --> 00:55:43,089
[clears throat] John! You know,
my dad here is a big Cheesehead.
1268
00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:45,592
No, is that right?
I thought you'd be rooting for the Giants.
1269
00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:47,177
-Excuse me?
-The football team, Dad.
1270
00:55:47,260 --> 00:55:48,428
-You done?
-It's full.
1271
00:55:48,511 --> 00:55:50,096
Don't want to fill up on soup.
1272
00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:51,556
-Richard only likes baseball.
-Yankees or Mets?
1273
00:55:51,639 --> 00:55:53,099
[Richard] You know what,
I actually like both.
1274
00:55:53,183 --> 00:55:54,392
You look done.
1275
00:55:55,435 --> 00:55:56,644
I guess.
1276
00:55:57,437 --> 00:56:01,191
[heavy breathing]
1277
00:56:01,274 --> 00:56:02,942
[muffled voices in next room]
1278
00:56:06,112 --> 00:56:09,532
[Adam] You know, Meg knows more
about Judaism than most of my friends.
1279
00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:11,576
Yeah, she's doing wonderfully in class.
1280
00:56:11,659 --> 00:56:13,787
I don't know how much credit
I actually deserve.
1281
00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:16,289
Rabbi Morgenstern is really, really great.
1282
00:56:16,372 --> 00:56:17,957
Yeah, and he rarely does conversions.
1283
00:56:18,041 --> 00:56:19,667
Well, we've heard all about the Rabbi.
1284
00:56:19,751 --> 00:56:21,753
Does anyone want some of this wine?
1285
00:56:21,836 --> 00:56:26,424
It's got the wax seal on it,
so it's...it's fancy.
1286
00:56:26,508 --> 00:56:28,259
-I'll take some.
-Me too.
1287
00:56:28,343 --> 00:56:30,428
You know, Adam,
1288
00:56:30,512 --> 00:56:33,556
the funny thing is Meghan
was never really very religious.
1289
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:37,435
Yeah but I always liked the stories,
the Bible stories.
1290
00:56:37,519 --> 00:56:40,563
Right, yes, it's all fairly similar.
1291
00:56:40,647 --> 00:56:44,400
It's just not as draconian.
1292
00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:45,902
Draconian?
1293
00:56:45,985 --> 00:56:48,905
Well, not the rules,
but I mean, just, you know, we--
1294
00:56:48,988 --> 00:56:50,573
we both have family time together,
1295
00:56:50,657 --> 00:56:54,661
Jews, Friday dinner and us Sunday brunch.
1296
00:56:54,744 --> 00:56:59,290
We just don't want our kids
to feel pressured about showing up.
1297
00:56:59,374 --> 00:57:02,210
No, of course, pressure is no good.
1298
00:57:02,293 --> 00:57:07,549
You know the Rabbi, he said that, well,
we've been talking about the Talmud,
1299
00:57:07,632 --> 00:57:10,969
and how it's essentially
just a book of arguing.
1300
00:57:11,052 --> 00:57:12,303
[laughter]
1301
00:57:12,387 --> 00:57:13,888
Meghan was in debate club.
1302
00:57:13,972 --> 00:57:16,224
-Mm-hmm.
-She was captain.
1303
00:57:16,307 --> 00:57:19,853
She always had a real...
what is the word you use?
1304
00:57:19,936 --> 00:57:20,979
Ootz-bah.
1305
00:57:21,062 --> 00:57:23,022
-Chutzpah.
-Chutzpah.
1306
00:57:23,106 --> 00:57:24,190
How do you say it?
1307
00:57:24,274 --> 00:57:25,608
-Chutzpah.
-Chutzpah.
1308
00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:27,402
-No, Chutzpah.
-Hootzbah?
1309
00:57:27,485 --> 00:57:29,070
-No.
-You're a natural.
1310
00:57:29,154 --> 00:57:30,613
Isn't that derogatory?
1311
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:33,741
Mom! No, no, no. It's more like...
1312
00:57:33,825 --> 00:57:36,411
-A certain boldness.
-Gumption.
1313
00:57:36,494 --> 00:57:39,038
-It's more audacity.
-Well, I wouldn't call her audacious.
1314
00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:40,999
-Oh, no.
-But it's a good audacious.
1315
00:57:41,082 --> 00:57:44,377
-Is there such thing?
-Well, that depends on who you ask.
1316
00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:45,920
Why are you looking at me?
1317
00:57:46,004 --> 00:57:47,297
Well, you're sitting across from me.
1318
00:57:47,380 --> 00:57:48,882
Where else am I supposed to look?
1319
00:57:48,965 --> 00:57:51,176
[John] Well, that's not the way
I meant it.
1320
00:57:51,259 --> 00:57:55,221
I meant to say that
she always had a real poise.
1321
00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:57,182
Yes, the rest of our children
are never really into
1322
00:57:57,265 --> 00:57:59,309
debate or argument,
1323
00:57:59,392 --> 00:58:02,061
but Meghan always had a penchant for that.
1324
00:58:02,145 --> 00:58:04,772
Well, makes me feel a lot better
about losing every argument.
1325
00:58:04,856 --> 00:58:07,358
Well, it's fine.
I'll find a class for you.
1326
00:58:07,442 --> 00:58:10,737
-[laughter]
-Aww...
1327
00:58:10,820 --> 00:58:14,699
Abby, um... don't you have a boyfriend?
1328
00:58:14,782 --> 00:58:16,117
What's his name?
1329
00:58:16,201 --> 00:58:18,745
[Abby] No, I... [nervously stuttering]
1330
00:58:18,828 --> 00:58:20,330
Uh, Benjamin?
1331
00:58:20,413 --> 00:58:23,583
-Yes, where's Benjamin?
-Is he still joining us?
1332
00:58:23,666 --> 00:58:25,126
-What?
-Benjamin, your boyfriend.
1333
00:58:25,210 --> 00:58:27,128
Meghan said he was gonna be joining us.
1334
00:58:27,212 --> 00:58:30,256
Oh, my boyfriend. Oh...
1335
00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:35,678
He... he tri-- you know, he
wanted-- he wanted to be here.
1336
00:58:35,762 --> 00:58:38,598
-But there was...
-He was going to, but he--
1337
00:58:38,681 --> 00:58:40,600
I think it was, there
was some sort of traffic.
1338
00:58:40,683 --> 00:58:44,020
[Meg] Right? And I was gonna
say he couldn't make it.
1339
00:58:44,103 --> 00:58:45,396
-There was something--
-What happened?
1340
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:47,398
[David] You know, it's one
of those things.
1341
00:58:47,482 --> 00:58:49,400
[Richard] The transportation, you know...
1342
00:58:49,484 --> 00:58:51,819
-[footsteps approaching]
-[Abby] It was the traffic...
1343
00:58:51,903 --> 00:58:53,071
[spoon hits plate, talking stops]
1344
00:58:58,701 --> 00:59:00,328
Good Shabbos, everyone.
1345
00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:04,874
Sorry I'm late.
Prayer ran long, real long.
1346
00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:07,794
That was one slow-ass Rabbi.
1347
00:59:07,877 --> 00:59:09,921
And look at you two, you gorgeous people
1348
00:59:10,004 --> 00:59:12,465
must be Meg's parents.
1349
00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:14,384
Benjamin.
1350
00:59:14,467 --> 00:59:16,135
-Uh, John.
-Pleasure.
1351
00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:18,012
-Beth!
-Beth!
1352
00:59:18,096 --> 00:59:19,973
All right, Benjamin, Beth.
Got a little B&B going there, huh?
1353
00:59:20,056 --> 00:59:22,225
-Yeah!
-Ellen.
1354
00:59:22,308 --> 00:59:23,434
Richie!
1355
00:59:24,561 --> 00:59:26,396
Shabbat, Shalom.
1356
00:59:27,647 --> 00:59:29,607
Hey, buddy, what's happening?
1357
00:59:29,691 --> 00:59:30,858
Darling.
1358
00:59:30,942 --> 00:59:33,653
[laughs nervously]
1359
00:59:33,736 --> 00:59:35,029
[kiss]
1360
00:59:38,283 --> 00:59:39,576
Mmm!
1361
00:59:39,659 --> 00:59:42,495
Well, you all look surprised.
1362
00:59:42,579 --> 00:59:45,999
-We don't.
-We're not.
1363
00:59:46,082 --> 00:59:47,667
[laughter]
1364
00:59:47,750 --> 00:59:49,794
I'm just playing. Look, I get it, okay?
1365
00:59:49,877 --> 00:59:51,379
People hear "Benjamin the Jew,"
1366
00:59:51,462 --> 00:59:53,172
and it's not what they think of, right?
1367
00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:56,134
I mean, not what they picture. Ha, ha, ha!
1368
00:59:56,217 --> 00:59:58,344
Honestly, no.
1369
00:59:58,428 --> 01:00:00,388
I got two words for you, Big John:
1370
01:00:01,556 --> 01:00:03,975
Ethiopian. Jews.
1371
01:00:05,268 --> 01:00:06,227
From Ethiopia?
1372
01:00:06,311 --> 01:00:08,896
Yeah, the lost tribe, baby.
1373
01:00:08,980 --> 01:00:13,067
Lost for thousands of years,
but...we're back.
1374
01:00:13,151 --> 01:00:14,986
-That's true.
-I-- I see.
1375
01:00:15,069 --> 01:00:16,821
Benjamin, don't you have that thing?
1376
01:00:16,904 --> 01:00:18,656
[Jordan] No, I'm good to chill.
1377
01:00:18,740 --> 01:00:20,033
Benjamin, I'd love to know--
1378
01:00:20,116 --> 01:00:23,661
You have questions, my love,
I have answers.
1379
01:00:23,745 --> 01:00:26,497
Well, I haven't, you know,
read about this, but are there
1380
01:00:26,581 --> 01:00:28,124
many in your community?
1381
01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:30,418
Well, yeah, I mean, we're
just not as well-known,
1382
01:00:30,501 --> 01:00:33,004
I mean, but there's a lot of
us about, what, 200 thou,
1383
01:00:33,087 --> 01:00:34,756
give or take a thou.
1384
01:00:34,839 --> 01:00:36,424
I'm so glad you're found.
1385
01:00:36,841 --> 01:00:39,469
You know, many scholars
believe that they descended
1386
01:00:39,552 --> 01:00:42,180
from King Solomon
and Queen Sheba and others.
1387
01:00:42,263 --> 01:00:44,766
Yes. From Don, the Lost Tribe.
1388
01:00:44,849 --> 01:00:47,060
That's right. That's right.
1389
01:00:47,143 --> 01:00:49,854
So, why don't we all know about this?
1390
01:00:49,937 --> 01:00:52,315
You want to know why you don't know?
1391
01:00:52,398 --> 01:00:54,817
Because we control the media.
1392
01:00:54,901 --> 01:00:57,278
You know what we want you to know.
1393
01:00:57,362 --> 01:00:58,446
Now, hold on there.
1394
01:00:58,529 --> 01:00:59,947
And the banks.
1395
01:01:00,907 --> 01:01:02,825
-Uh...
-Yeah.
1396
01:01:02,909 --> 01:01:06,454
And Adam operates the space lasers
that control the weather.
1397
01:01:06,537 --> 01:01:07,914
Yeah, I do that.
1398
01:01:07,997 --> 01:01:11,292
[imitating laser gun]
Pew! Pew! Pew!
1399
01:01:11,376 --> 01:01:13,878
-Pew! Pew!
-[laughter]
1400
01:01:13,961 --> 01:01:15,922
Oh, very funny, Benjamin.
1401
01:01:16,005 --> 01:01:17,090
He does this routine.
1402
01:01:17,173 --> 01:01:18,508
Yeah, it goes on a long time.
1403
01:01:18,591 --> 01:01:20,885
"We control the media.
We control the banks."
1404
01:01:20,968 --> 01:01:22,428
-"We're in charge of everything."
-[laughter]
1405
01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:23,763
Of course, I'm just playing.
1406
01:01:23,846 --> 01:01:25,223
Well, you can say it, but I can't.
1407
01:01:25,306 --> 01:01:26,432
[all laughing]
1408
01:01:26,516 --> 01:01:28,226
And you shouldn't.
1409
01:01:28,309 --> 01:01:31,938
I mean, honestly, do you really think
Richie here runs a bank?
1410
01:01:32,021 --> 01:01:33,773
He doesn't even run his own house.
1411
01:01:33,856 --> 01:01:35,775
[laughter]
1412
01:01:35,858 --> 01:01:36,943
That's funny.
1413
01:01:38,403 --> 01:01:40,238
-I'm gonna get the mains.
-Let me help.
1414
01:01:40,321 --> 01:01:41,948
No, no, no, no, no. Tradition.
1415
01:01:43,324 --> 01:01:45,785
[instrumental music]
1416
01:01:59,882 --> 01:02:02,301
[somber music]
1417
01:02:53,144 --> 01:02:55,563
[somber music concludes]
1418
01:02:55,646 --> 01:02:58,566
Really? Your own special place.
1419
01:02:58,649 --> 01:03:00,276
-And where is that?
-[Abby] No, no, no.
1420
01:03:00,359 --> 01:03:02,153
I don't think Benjamin
means it in a literal sense.
1421
01:03:02,236 --> 01:03:03,446
-Yes, I do.
-No, he doesn't.
1422
01:03:03,529 --> 01:03:05,239
Yes, I do! Would you like to know where?
1423
01:03:05,323 --> 01:03:06,657
Nobody keeps their foreskin!
1424
01:03:06,741 --> 01:03:08,159
Yes, we do. Tell them where it is.
1425
01:03:08,242 --> 01:03:09,494
-Please don't.
-You're gonna like this.
1426
01:03:09,577 --> 01:03:11,370
Mine's is in a snow globe.
1427
01:03:11,454 --> 01:03:12,789
-Meg!
-Yeah?
1428
01:03:12,872 --> 01:03:14,040
Why don't you do your d'var Torah?
1429
01:03:14,123 --> 01:03:15,625
[Meg] Oh, I don't, um--
1430
01:03:15,708 --> 01:03:17,460
-Please share.
-Yeah, please, d'var Torah.
1431
01:03:17,543 --> 01:03:19,128
I don't think that's actually the best--
1432
01:03:19,212 --> 01:03:22,215
-No, I think you should.
-Yeah, Bible story.
1433
01:03:22,298 --> 01:03:23,758
You have a Bible story, darling?
1434
01:03:23,841 --> 01:03:25,843
-It's the best Bible story.
-Oh, I got some stories.
1435
01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:29,722
-You've told your stories.
-But they were good stories.
1436
01:03:29,806 --> 01:03:31,974
All right, Meg, let's hear it.
1437
01:03:32,058 --> 01:03:34,519
Um, okay.
1438
01:03:34,602 --> 01:03:36,729
Yes, um, hello.
1439
01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:39,982
So, this week's Torah portion
1440
01:03:40,066 --> 01:03:45,071
is the story of Joseph
and his brothers, how Joseph's
1441
01:03:45,154 --> 01:03:47,240
brothers dipped his multicolored coat
1442
01:03:47,323 --> 01:03:50,493
in blood to pretend that he died.
1443
01:03:50,576 --> 01:03:51,869
-Good subject.
-Thank you.
1444
01:03:51,953 --> 01:03:54,247
I thought so too, yesterday.
1445
01:03:54,330 --> 01:03:55,414
Um... [clears throat]
1446
01:03:55,498 --> 01:03:57,542
So, um, in the Torah, Mom, Dad,
1447
01:03:57,625 --> 01:03:59,418
every detail is there for a reason.
1448
01:03:59,502 --> 01:04:03,172
However, in this story, there
is one moment in particular
1449
01:04:03,256 --> 01:04:06,968
that at first glance appears meaningless.
1450
01:04:07,051 --> 01:04:09,971
When Joseph was wandering
around looking for his brothers,
1451
01:04:10,054 --> 01:04:13,349
he asked a stranger, can you
tell me where my brothers are?
1452
01:04:13,432 --> 01:04:17,061
And the stranger replied,
"They went to Dothan."
1453
01:04:17,144 --> 01:04:20,648
So, why would the Torah
include such a trivial passage?
1454
01:04:20,731 --> 01:04:23,025
Just a stranger giving directions.
1455
01:04:23,109 --> 01:04:27,405
The sages say it's because
this stranger wasn't just a normal person.
1456
01:04:27,488 --> 01:04:33,035
He was actually an angel
who didn't know he was an angel.
1457
01:04:33,119 --> 01:04:36,831
He had a vital role in this story,
but he had no way of knowing at the time
1458
01:04:36,914 --> 01:04:40,751
the significance
of this small interaction.
1459
01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:45,381
And like this stranger, we all have
the ability to change the course
1460
01:04:45,464 --> 01:04:50,428
of someone else's life
with a small moment or kindness.
1461
01:04:51,679 --> 01:04:55,266
We, too, can all be angels
1462
01:04:55,349 --> 01:04:59,145
who didn't know that they were angels.
1463
01:05:01,314 --> 01:05:03,858
-[applause]
-Rabbi Meg.
1464
01:05:03,941 --> 01:05:05,109
A lovely story.
1465
01:05:05,192 --> 01:05:06,444
-That was great sweetie.
-Wonderful.
1466
01:05:06,527 --> 01:05:07,862
-Beautiful.
-Thank you.
1467
01:05:07,945 --> 01:05:10,573
Oh, well, it's time for dessert.
1468
01:05:10,656 --> 01:05:12,366
We have 7-layer cake,
1469
01:05:12,450 --> 01:05:15,828
and my father and Richard's favorites,
1470
01:05:15,912 --> 01:05:16,829
Linzer tarts.
1471
01:05:16,913 --> 01:05:18,497
Mmm. [laughter]
1472
01:05:18,581 --> 01:05:19,999
Dessert?
1473
01:05:20,082 --> 01:05:22,543
Yes, I'm so sorry. This is
very embarrassing for me,
1474
01:05:22,627 --> 01:05:24,921
but as I was walking out of the bathroom
1475
01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:27,006
by the kitchen,
I saw that the cat had knocked
1476
01:05:27,089 --> 01:05:28,716
everything on the floor.
1477
01:05:28,799 --> 01:05:31,052
-Oh, not the cat!
-Ruined the entire meal.
1478
01:05:31,135 --> 01:05:32,720
Plop!
-He's done this before.
1479
01:05:32,803 --> 01:05:34,305
This has happened before.
1480
01:05:34,388 --> 01:05:36,682
-He's a terrible cat.
-Garfield on cocaine.
1481
01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:39,018
The cat knocked over the dinner.
1482
01:05:39,101 --> 01:05:41,395
That sounds like what
happened. I believe so.
1483
01:05:41,479 --> 01:05:43,022
-Should we order food?
-Yes.
1484
01:05:43,105 --> 01:05:44,690
-No.
-No!
1485
01:05:44,774 --> 01:05:45,900
-No.
-We can't use phones on Shabbos.
1486
01:05:45,983 --> 01:05:47,735
But we can. Just tell us the place.
1487
01:05:47,818 --> 01:05:50,029
No, that's cheating. Can't.
1488
01:05:50,112 --> 01:05:53,449
You know what, I think things
are just not working out here tonight.
1489
01:05:53,532 --> 01:05:57,662
I think we should all get together
tomorrow and have a great brunch.
1490
01:05:57,745 --> 01:05:58,955
-Yes! Brunch!
-Yes! Brunch!
1491
01:05:59,038 --> 01:06:00,581
-I love brunch!
-We love brunch.
1492
01:06:00,665 --> 01:06:01,874
-You love brunch.
-Yeah.
1493
01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:07,546
We came all the way from
Wisconsin to be here.
1494
01:06:07,630 --> 01:06:09,882
And we appreciate you coming very much.
1495
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:12,927
There's just no predicting
that things like this could happen.
1496
01:06:13,010 --> 01:06:17,765
But never did I think that we
would be rushed out of your home.
1497
01:06:17,848 --> 01:06:21,018
No, no, Dad, I promise
it's this cat. It's--
1498
01:06:21,102 --> 01:06:23,312
-He's aggressive and--
-Aggressive how?
1499
01:06:23,396 --> 01:06:25,022
You know, it's my cat.
1500
01:06:25,106 --> 01:06:28,275
And I have burdened my sweet
parents with it for too long.
1501
01:06:28,359 --> 01:06:30,444
He knocked everything on the
floor, and when I say ev--
1502
01:06:30,528 --> 01:06:32,071
Do you expect us to believe
1503
01:06:32,154 --> 01:06:35,199
that the entire meal
just suddenly disappeared?!
1504
01:06:35,282 --> 01:06:36,367
Hmm!
1505
01:06:37,618 --> 01:06:40,746
-Yeah...
-Yeah...
1506
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:43,165
-[clearing throat]
-Let me help you clean up.
1507
01:06:43,249 --> 01:06:44,959
What? No, no, no, no, no, no, please.
1508
01:06:45,042 --> 01:06:46,585
-You're our guests.
-Our guests of honor.
1509
01:06:46,669 --> 01:06:48,212
No, I insist.
1510
01:06:48,295 --> 01:06:49,672
-No, no, no, it's fine.
-It's just simple manners.
1511
01:06:49,755 --> 01:06:50,798
I promise.
1512
01:06:50,881 --> 01:06:52,925
-Let me help!
-You're free to leave.
1513
01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:54,760
-Fine!
-Not until it's clean!
1514
01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:57,596
-It's totally unnecessary!
-Let me help you, please!
1515
01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:59,056
-Just--
-Oh!
1516
01:06:59,140 --> 01:07:00,474
[John] What was that?
1517
01:07:00,558 --> 01:07:03,477
Did you just intentionally
spill wine all over me?
1518
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:05,396
-It was an accident.
-An accident?
1519
01:07:05,479 --> 01:07:07,106
John, John, he didn't mean it.
1520
01:07:07,189 --> 01:07:09,025
Well, he swiped his
arm right across the table!
1521
01:07:09,108 --> 01:07:10,943
No, I was reaching for the salt,
1522
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:12,903
the salt over there.
1523
01:07:12,987 --> 01:07:14,196
Let's go.
1524
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:15,531
That's all right, it's all right.
1525
01:07:15,614 --> 01:07:19,452
Let me just clean up
and have some dessert.
1526
01:07:19,535 --> 01:07:21,495
Where's your bathroom?
1527
01:07:21,579 --> 01:07:22,830
[Ellen] Wait a minute, you're staying?
1528
01:07:22,913 --> 01:07:24,582
Are you sure you want to stay?
1529
01:07:24,665 --> 01:07:26,375
I mean, don't you want
to go home and change?
1530
01:07:26,459 --> 01:07:28,210
I mean I think you're just a real mess.
1531
01:07:28,294 --> 01:07:29,336
-Aah!
-Aah!
1532
01:07:30,254 --> 01:07:31,797
Ohh...
1533
01:07:31,881 --> 01:07:33,758
[plate rattles]
1534
01:07:35,676 --> 01:07:37,970
Ohh...
1535
01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:42,141
So, you're not gonna
believe this, but, um,
1536
01:07:42,224 --> 01:07:44,101
-there's this tradition.
-Ugh!
1537
01:07:46,687 --> 01:07:52,068
Enough with the traditions, okay?
1538
01:07:52,151 --> 01:07:54,028
[Beth] You should be ashamed.
1539
01:07:54,111 --> 01:07:57,406
You should all be ashamed.
1540
01:07:58,324 --> 01:08:03,537
Is this because
I wouldn't wear that little hat?
1541
01:08:03,621 --> 01:08:05,164
What?
1542
01:08:05,247 --> 01:08:07,374
That thing on your head.
1543
01:08:07,458 --> 01:08:10,503
-What, the yarmulke?
-Yes.
1544
01:08:10,586 --> 01:08:14,548
Would you have shown me respect
if I had worn it?
1545
01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:17,343
Respect? No, you have my respect.
1546
01:08:17,426 --> 01:08:20,471
-You've always had my respect.
-Oh, yes, of course we respect you.
1547
01:08:20,554 --> 01:08:22,181
And we're very happy that you came.
1548
01:08:22,264 --> 01:08:24,558
-Yeah.
-Sure you are.
1549
01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:27,353
Well, let's go, honey.
1550
01:08:27,436 --> 01:08:29,188
-No, John.
-Dad, come on.
1551
01:08:29,271 --> 01:08:30,898
-Beth!
-Stop.
1552
01:08:30,981 --> 01:08:32,149
[Meg] Dad! Mom!
1553
01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:33,359
-[groaning]
-Dad!
1554
01:08:35,945 --> 01:08:37,613
[voice breaking] This is what you want?
1555
01:08:38,489 --> 01:08:39,657
Mom.
1556
01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:41,784
Bye, Meg.
1557
01:08:41,867 --> 01:08:43,077
[David] Beth...
1558
01:08:44,745 --> 01:08:46,664
[crying] I love you both.
1559
01:08:48,124 --> 01:08:49,458
[door closes]
1560
01:08:49,542 --> 01:08:51,043
[Jordan] See ya at the wedding!
1561
01:08:52,503 --> 01:08:54,922
Okay, 4 minutes until
Cano's shift. Let's move.
1562
01:08:55,005 --> 01:08:56,966
Hey, Wolf! What the hell was that?
1563
01:08:57,049 --> 01:08:58,384
I was playing a part.
1564
01:08:58,467 --> 01:09:00,052
"See you at the wedding?"
1565
01:09:00,136 --> 01:09:01,887
No, you won't. You'll be dead!
1566
01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:03,430
-He was just being polite.
-Polite?
1567
01:09:03,514 --> 01:09:04,974
-I thought it was smart.
-What do you--
1568
01:09:05,057 --> 01:09:06,559
Hey, Soup Boy, don't talk to me right now,
1569
01:09:06,642 --> 01:09:07,726
Okay? I can't even look at you.
1570
01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:09,603
How am I supposed to have
a relationship with them now?
1571
01:09:09,687 --> 01:09:10,688
Well, we'll worry about that later.
1572
01:09:10,771 --> 01:09:12,064
-Oh, you must be so happy.
-Happy?
1573
01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:13,774
This must be such a wonderful
silver lining for you.
1574
01:09:13,858 --> 01:09:15,776
David, just stop, stop.
1575
01:09:15,860 --> 01:09:17,403
Meg, I'm so sorry.
1576
01:09:17,486 --> 01:09:19,363
[Meg] No, it's fine.
Let's just keep it moving.
1577
01:09:19,446 --> 01:09:20,865
All right, everyone, listen up.
1578
01:09:20,948 --> 01:09:22,158
Oh, we're still listening to this guy?
1579
01:09:22,241 --> 01:09:24,702
Yes, we are.
Let's get you two out on the porch,
1580
01:09:24,785 --> 01:09:26,787
make sure your parents left, and David,
help me with the body.
1581
01:09:26,871 --> 01:09:28,998
-Fine.
-Okay. I'll make snacks.
1582
01:09:38,799 --> 01:09:40,885
Everyone looks the same from up here.
1583
01:09:40,968 --> 01:09:44,054
Just look for two people
with a big height difference.
1584
01:09:46,682 --> 01:09:49,476
-You okay?
-No, I'm not, I...
1585
01:09:51,353 --> 01:09:54,940
I have had to do so much
to be a part of your family,
1586
01:09:55,024 --> 01:09:56,650
and he just gets to waltz into mine.
1587
01:09:56,734 --> 01:09:58,611
-It is--
-Not fair.
1588
01:09:58,694 --> 01:10:01,614
Yeah, I mean, he's
literally had to do nothing.
1589
01:10:01,697 --> 01:10:05,242
[Abby] Yeah, David is a...
1590
01:10:05,326 --> 01:10:06,702
[sighs]
1591
01:10:09,038 --> 01:10:11,874
The thing about David is
1592
01:10:11,957 --> 01:10:15,377
he hasn't had to do nearly
as much as he's had to do,
1593
01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:18,797
but when he cares about somebody
and I've seen how much he cares about you,
1594
01:10:18,881 --> 01:10:22,009
he would do literally anything.
1595
01:10:22,092 --> 01:10:23,385
I mean, look at tonight.
1596
01:10:23,469 --> 01:10:25,638
He's basically conspiring murder for Adam.
1597
01:10:25,721 --> 01:10:28,557
He likes you way more than he likes Adam.
1598
01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:31,393
-Well--
-We all do.
1599
01:10:31,477 --> 01:10:32,770
[laughter]
1600
01:10:34,438 --> 01:10:36,690
[Abby] Oh, oh! That's them!
They're leaving!
1601
01:10:36,774 --> 01:10:37,650
They're leaving!
1602
01:10:37,733 --> 01:10:38,901
-That's our cue.
-Hmm?
1603
01:10:38,984 --> 01:10:40,611
-That's our cue!
-Okay.
1604
01:10:43,113 --> 01:10:44,281
-Hey, dumb ass.
-Huh?
1605
01:10:44,365 --> 01:10:46,367
-78th Street.
-78th Street.
1606
01:10:46,450 --> 01:10:49,912
[Jordan] Hey, dumbass, come on.
Get some-- Ready?
1607
01:10:49,995 --> 01:10:51,497
1...2...
1608
01:10:51,580 --> 01:10:55,209
[grunting, groaning]
1609
01:10:55,292 --> 01:10:56,585
Bruh, hit the button.
1610
01:10:59,046 --> 01:11:00,506
-Could you--
-You're right there.
1611
01:11:00,589 --> 01:11:02,174
[David] I know, I know,
it's just, in my head
1612
01:11:02,258 --> 01:11:04,468
I made this promise with God
that if he helped us get through
1613
01:11:04,551 --> 01:11:06,595
the night, I'd keep shops
for the rest of my life,
1614
01:11:06,679 --> 01:11:10,057
and that means no electricity.
1615
01:11:10,140 --> 01:11:12,017
-Man, for real?
-Yeah.
1616
01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:14,270
-Push the fucking button.
-Okay.
1617
01:11:14,353 --> 01:11:16,981
[grunting, struggling]
1618
01:11:17,064 --> 01:11:19,483
I'm not lifting with my back at all!
1619
01:11:19,566 --> 01:11:24,822
[grunting, struggling]
1620
01:11:24,905 --> 01:11:26,657
Mrs. Grundwerg.
1621
01:11:26,740 --> 01:11:28,242
[Grundwerg] Do I have any mail?
1622
01:11:28,325 --> 01:11:31,412
Um, already dropped it off. Here you go.
1623
01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:36,500
Good evening.
1624
01:11:39,169 --> 01:11:41,839
You wait here. I'm going to get the cart.
1625
01:11:41,922 --> 01:11:44,383
Try not to look so suspicious. Jesus!
1626
01:11:48,387 --> 01:11:50,514
[wheels rumbling on cement]
1627
01:11:57,271 --> 01:11:58,731
-Jordan!
-Aah!
1628
01:11:58,814 --> 01:12:01,275
Garbage day is not until Sunday.
1629
01:12:01,358 --> 01:12:02,568
It's not Sunday?
1630
01:12:02,651 --> 01:12:04,403
-No, it is not Sunday.
-Oh.
1631
01:12:04,486 --> 01:12:07,281
-Why are you here so early?
-Going to eat in the lobby.
1632
01:12:07,364 --> 01:12:08,907
You don't want to chill in the park?
1633
01:12:08,991 --> 01:12:12,202
-No.
-Right, okay.
1634
01:12:12,995 --> 01:12:14,580
Let me get that for you.
1635
01:12:22,296 --> 01:12:26,050
Uh, Cano, do you think you can, uh,
1636
01:12:26,133 --> 01:12:28,177
watch the front door while you eat?
1637
01:12:28,260 --> 01:12:30,054
9A called about their-- their...
1638
01:12:30,137 --> 01:12:32,014
-Yes, sure.
-Oh, thank--
1639
01:12:32,097 --> 01:12:33,557
Jordan?
1640
01:12:33,640 --> 01:12:35,100
[door creaks]
1641
01:12:36,393 --> 01:12:37,603
Yeah?
1642
01:12:38,395 --> 01:12:40,522
What is that thing on your head?
1643
01:12:49,365 --> 01:12:50,949
It's Shabbos, baby.
1644
01:12:58,874 --> 01:13:00,167
[door opens]
1645
01:13:01,919 --> 01:13:03,253
[Ellen and Adam gasp]
1646
01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:05,297
-Why are you back?
-They're back?
1647
01:13:05,381 --> 01:13:07,049
Uh...Cano was early.
1648
01:13:07,132 --> 01:13:08,258
Shit.
1649
01:13:08,342 --> 01:13:10,010
So that's it. We're screwed, right?
1650
01:13:10,094 --> 01:13:11,970
David, what-- What do you think?
1651
01:13:12,054 --> 01:13:13,889
-Jordan? I'm sorry.
-All good, all good.
1652
01:13:13,972 --> 01:13:16,350
Why are you telling
Jordan you're sorry? He's fine.
1653
01:13:16,433 --> 01:13:17,768
Adam's the one who's gonna be in trouble.
1654
01:13:17,851 --> 01:13:19,103
-That's it, prison.
-I mean...
1655
01:13:19,186 --> 01:13:20,437
I'm gonna go to prison.
1656
01:13:20,521 --> 01:13:22,272
I don't think you're gonna
be the only one.
1657
01:13:25,359 --> 01:13:26,402
Hey, what are you doing?
1658
01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:28,320
-I'm calling the police.
-No, no, no.
1659
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:30,489
-No, you're not--
-Stop! Stop.
1660
01:13:30,572 --> 01:13:32,699
I should call the cops, turn myself in,
1661
01:13:32,783 --> 01:13:34,159
at least have a little bit of dignity.
1662
01:13:34,243 --> 01:13:36,203
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Adam!
-What!
1663
01:13:36,286 --> 01:13:37,871
I'm the black sheep of the family.
1664
01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:39,540
Everyone knows I don't have
much of a future anyway.
1665
01:13:39,832 --> 01:13:41,583
-Stop it. That's not true.
-That is nonsense!
1666
01:13:41,667 --> 01:13:43,293
Yeah, there's lots of
things that you can--
1667
01:13:43,377 --> 01:13:45,129
[crying] I was rejected from the IDF!
1668
01:13:49,216 --> 01:13:54,847
I just needed something to talk about
at the table every week,
1669
01:13:54,930 --> 01:13:58,892
so I didn't feel like a complete loser.
1670
01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:00,602
But there's lots of things you can do.
1671
01:14:00,686 --> 01:14:02,020
You can sing the aleph bet.
1672
01:14:02,104 --> 01:14:03,981
You work out with those
calisthenics in your room.
1673
01:14:04,064 --> 01:14:05,315
-Yes, yes!
-Mom? Dad?
1674
01:14:05,399 --> 01:14:06,525
-It's true.
-Dad!
1675
01:14:06,608 --> 01:14:07,901
[Richard] What? What?
1676
01:14:09,027 --> 01:14:11,238
If I can't defend Israel...
1677
01:14:14,199 --> 01:14:16,994
then at least I can take the fall for us.
1678
01:14:17,077 --> 01:14:19,496
Stop it. This is my fault.
1679
01:14:19,580 --> 01:14:21,165
I should have broken up
with him forever ago.
1680
01:14:21,248 --> 01:14:22,833
I just--
1681
01:14:22,916 --> 01:14:24,960
didn't want to hear everyone
tell me how wrong I was.
1682
01:14:25,043 --> 01:14:26,712
It should be me.
1683
01:14:26,795 --> 01:14:28,338
I should never have
let things go this far.
1684
01:14:28,422 --> 01:14:32,176
You know, I have my readings
and my conflict resolution seminars,
1685
01:14:32,259 --> 01:14:33,886
but when the time came to act,
1686
01:14:33,969 --> 01:14:35,554
I couldn't find the words that
you kids needed.
1687
01:14:35,637 --> 01:14:38,056
-No!
-I just--
1688
01:14:38,140 --> 01:14:41,477
I'll tell the police I did it.
I put in the laxatives.
1689
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:45,022
I was mad at that boy
for being mean to my son,
1690
01:14:45,105 --> 01:14:47,316
so I poisoned him,
and I should pay the price.
1691
01:14:47,399 --> 01:14:48,567
-No. But Mom--
-Mom.
1692
01:14:48,650 --> 01:14:50,402
No, I deserve it anyway.
1693
01:14:50,486 --> 01:14:52,070
Meg...
1694
01:14:52,154 --> 01:14:54,281
the way I've treated you,
1695
01:14:54,364 --> 01:14:55,782
and then seeing you tonight,
1696
01:14:55,866 --> 01:14:59,036
and the way that you've helped.
1697
01:14:59,119 --> 01:15:01,997
I just want you to know
that no amount of conversion
1698
01:15:02,080 --> 01:15:05,918
will change the fact that you're already
a part of this family.
1699
01:15:08,128 --> 01:15:10,130
[Adam] Jordan?
1700
01:15:10,214 --> 01:15:11,590
-Plan B!
-What!
1701
01:15:11,673 --> 01:15:13,425
-No, no, no, no!
-Jordan! Jordan!
1702
01:15:13,509 --> 01:15:14,593
[all chaotically shouting]
1703
01:15:15,010 --> 01:15:16,637
Jordan, don't!
1704
01:15:16,720 --> 01:15:19,515
No, it's okay. I'm gonna
get him in the garbage cart.
1705
01:15:19,598 --> 01:15:23,143
What?! Jordan! No, no, no, no, no, no!
1706
01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:25,604
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
1707
01:15:25,687 --> 01:15:27,064
Steph Curry!
1708
01:15:27,147 --> 01:15:28,023
[Thud]
1709
01:15:28,106 --> 01:15:30,234
[all groaning]
1710
01:15:30,317 --> 01:15:32,736
Ooh...
1711
01:15:32,819 --> 01:15:33,987
Um...
1712
01:15:36,156 --> 01:15:38,492
I think it's time to call an ambulance.
1713
01:15:43,455 --> 01:15:45,165
What the hell is that?
1714
01:15:48,460 --> 01:15:49,962
We just got here.
1715
01:15:56,510 --> 01:15:59,846
We're all horrible.
1716
01:16:01,848 --> 01:16:04,685
Maybe we should all go to prison together.
1717
01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:09,606
We should probably start
getting our story straight.
1718
01:16:09,690 --> 01:16:11,900
[Adam] I don't really care.
1719
01:16:11,984 --> 01:16:14,278
[police sirens approaching]
1720
01:16:14,361 --> 01:16:16,280
[police radio chatter]
1721
01:16:26,957 --> 01:16:29,084
[three knocks at the door]
1722
01:16:31,420 --> 01:16:32,838
I'll get it.
1723
01:16:41,263 --> 01:16:42,556
[officer] Mr. Gelfand?
1724
01:16:42,639 --> 01:16:45,392
Ah, yes. Good to see you, officers.
1725
01:16:45,475 --> 01:16:48,228
Um, is there a place we can talk?
1726
01:16:48,312 --> 01:16:50,731
Yeah, sure. Right-- right this way.
1727
01:16:59,906 --> 01:17:02,993
[Richard] As head of the household,
officer, I should say that--
1728
01:17:03,076 --> 01:17:06,622
[officer] No, hold on. I understand
this must be traumatic for all of you,
1729
01:17:06,705 --> 01:17:10,083
but it's protocol that
we pull you each aside for questioning.
1730
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:12,461
But before that happens...
1731
01:17:15,172 --> 01:17:18,091
we found this in the victim's pocket.
1732
01:17:18,175 --> 01:17:20,135
We have to keep this for evidence,
1733
01:17:20,218 --> 01:17:23,555
but I think it's only right
that you get to hear it firsthand
1734
01:17:23,639 --> 01:17:25,557
and not from some reporter.
1735
01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:27,434
That would be good.
1736
01:17:27,517 --> 01:17:30,103
"Every weekend for the past year,
1737
01:17:30,187 --> 01:17:32,022
I've witnessed something beautiful...
1738
01:17:32,105 --> 01:17:34,316
-[typing]
-5 family members who barely get along.
1739
01:17:34,399 --> 01:17:37,486
But no matter how much they're fighting,
1740
01:17:37,569 --> 01:17:40,656
they still come together
every Friday night.
1741
01:17:40,739 --> 01:17:44,910
We stick together, whether
we're in New York or Ethiopia.
1742
01:17:44,993 --> 01:17:48,705
I'm sorry to do this
on this special night,
1743
01:17:48,789 --> 01:17:51,792
but all the stress finally got to me.
1744
01:17:51,875 --> 01:17:55,462
You know what they say.
Running the bank is hard work.
1745
01:17:57,422 --> 01:18:00,300
Sincerely, Benjamin."
1746
01:18:00,384 --> 01:18:01,802
[paper pulls out]
1747
01:18:06,848 --> 01:18:08,392
[mouthing silently]
Plan "C."
1748
01:18:10,811 --> 01:18:11,978
There he goes.
1749
01:18:38,380 --> 01:18:40,424
[dramatic musical flourish]
1750
01:18:42,634 --> 01:18:44,636
[woman] I'm so sorry.
1751
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:48,223
I worked with Benji, and he was
so funny and such a good guy.
1752
01:18:48,306 --> 01:18:49,850
Hmm.
1753
01:18:49,933 --> 01:18:53,520
He was so sweet and always
made me feel so comfortable in the office.
1754
01:18:53,603 --> 01:18:58,650
And he was really so funny
and really just-- oh, God,
1755
01:18:58,734 --> 01:19:00,610
I'm so sorry.
1756
01:19:00,694 --> 01:19:02,112
Yeah.
1757
01:19:04,406 --> 01:19:06,032
Hi, Adam.
1758
01:19:13,248 --> 01:19:16,251
-She was the one who slept with--
-I know.
1759
01:19:16,334 --> 01:19:18,086
[Meg] You know why it's called a Shiva?
1760
01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:19,755
[David] Because it's a Shiva?
1761
01:19:19,838 --> 01:19:23,049
[Meg] No, it's because Shiva
means 7 in Hebrew,
1762
01:19:23,133 --> 01:19:26,636
and it's supposed to last for 7 days.
1763
01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:31,725
You know, um, if you don't
want to take the classes,
1764
01:19:31,808 --> 01:19:33,310
you really don't have to.
1765
01:19:35,812 --> 01:19:40,025
[kissing]
1766
01:19:40,108 --> 01:19:41,401
When do I get one of those?
1767
01:19:41,485 --> 01:19:42,903
I don't think you can.
1768
01:19:42,986 --> 01:19:44,362
I'm gonna keep going till I get one.
1769
01:19:44,446 --> 01:19:45,739
[John] Hello there.
1770
01:19:45,822 --> 01:19:47,365
-Mom, Dad, hi!
-Hi, honey.
1771
01:19:47,449 --> 01:19:49,910
John, Beth, what are you...
1772
01:19:49,993 --> 01:19:52,204
We just wanted to come by
and offer our condolences.
1773
01:19:52,287 --> 01:19:53,330
[Ellen] Oh, okay.
1774
01:19:53,413 --> 01:19:57,167
And to apologize for
leaving early on Friday night.
1775
01:19:57,250 --> 01:19:58,335
Oh, that's all right.
1776
01:19:58,418 --> 01:20:01,838
Look, um, we don't
remember that night too well.
1777
01:20:01,922 --> 01:20:05,425
-Oh, it was so hectic.
-Oh, yeah, it was.
1778
01:20:05,509 --> 01:20:12,098
Mm-hmm. But I definitely do not recall
meeting a Caucasian Benjamin.
1779
01:20:19,064 --> 01:20:20,690
I want Thanksgiving.
1780
01:20:22,150 --> 01:20:23,109
What?
1781
01:20:23,193 --> 01:20:28,573
I get Meg and David
for Thanksgiving every year.
1782
01:20:29,407 --> 01:20:31,618
I hear Wisconsin is beautiful in the fall.
1783
01:20:31,701 --> 01:20:33,245
-[John] You're gonna love it.
-Yeah.
1784
01:20:33,328 --> 01:20:36,623
And Christmas and Easter.
1785
01:20:38,542 --> 01:20:41,127
But sometimes Christmas
and Hanukkah overlap.
1786
01:20:41,211 --> 01:20:43,755
Hanukkah's eight days. You'll manage.
1787
01:20:43,839 --> 01:20:47,133
But we'll lose some days for travel,
especially with snow that time of year.
1788
01:20:47,217 --> 01:20:50,178
Ellen, Ellen, Ellen... enough.
1789
01:20:50,262 --> 01:20:52,180
-Okay? Okay.
-Okay, okay.
1790
01:20:58,687 --> 01:20:59,896
Now, that's chutzpah.
1791
01:20:59,980 --> 01:21:01,273
[Ellen] Oh, yeah.
1792
01:21:02,649 --> 01:21:05,610
I think they'll make good in-laws.
1793
01:21:05,694 --> 01:21:09,322
[upbeat music rises]
1794
01:21:11,408 --> 01:21:13,577
-Mom! Dad!
-Oh!
1795
01:21:13,660 --> 01:21:15,245
-Can we please go?
-She's been waiting.
1796
01:21:15,328 --> 01:21:16,705
-She's always yelling.
-Stop.
1797
01:21:16,788 --> 01:21:19,040
It's just like-- Can't she just like...
1798
01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:23,461
[Ernest Ernie and the Sincerities'
"Count on Me" playing]
1799
01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:32,762
♪ When there's trouble
And there's bound to be ♪
1800
01:21:32,846 --> 01:21:37,392
♪ Don't you worry, you can count on me ♪
1801
01:21:37,475 --> 01:21:40,770
♪ And when that storm
Has drifted out to sea... ♪
1802
01:21:40,854 --> 01:21:41,897
Shame about that boy.
1803
01:21:41,980 --> 01:21:45,025
-Oh, terrible! Terrible!
-Terrible.
1804
01:21:45,525 --> 01:21:47,027
Terrible thing.
1805
01:21:47,110 --> 01:21:48,403
Oh, boy.
1806
01:21:49,446 --> 01:21:53,992
♪ When that storm is rolling in
And there's nowhere to hide ♪
1807
01:21:54,075 --> 01:21:55,952
♪ I will be there... ♪
1808
01:21:56,036 --> 01:21:58,663
Oh, you-- you never finished
that joke you were telling me before.
1809
01:21:58,747 --> 01:22:00,790
-What joke?
-The joke about the Rabbi--
1810
01:22:00,874 --> 01:22:03,168
Oh, the Rabbi and the tent. Ah!
1811
01:22:03,251 --> 01:22:04,794
It's not such a good joke.
1812
01:22:05,295 --> 01:22:08,340
♪ I will be there ♪
1813
01:22:08,423 --> 01:22:12,802
♪ And there'll be nights
When you're fighting for your rights ♪
1814
01:22:12,886 --> 01:22:16,640
♪ And all your friends will walk away ♪
1815
01:22:16,723 --> 01:22:18,850
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
1816
01:22:18,934 --> 01:22:23,605
♪ And you'll be strong
As you had to be for so, so long ♪
1817
01:22:23,688 --> 01:22:27,442
♪ But I'll be there anyway ♪
1818
01:22:27,525 --> 01:22:32,906
♪ 'Cause when you're standing
On crumbling ground ♪
1819
01:22:32,989 --> 01:22:37,661
♪ And the sky starts tumbling down ♪
1820
01:22:37,744 --> 01:22:41,748
♪ Well, I will always be around ♪
1821
01:22:41,831 --> 01:22:45,043
♪ You can count on me ♪
1822
01:22:47,337 --> 01:22:50,423
♪ You count on me ♪
1823
01:22:54,552 --> 01:23:00,350
♪ When you got to be discreet
On your way through town ♪
1824
01:23:00,433 --> 01:23:04,396
♪ I will be there ♪
1825
01:23:04,479 --> 01:23:07,524
♪ And when they stop you
On the street ♪
1826
01:23:07,607 --> 01:23:10,527
♪ Trying to break you down ♪
1827
01:23:10,610 --> 01:23:13,446
♪ I will be there ♪
1828
01:23:13,530 --> 01:23:17,742
♪ Now, ladies
They'll attack you till you fall ♪
1829
01:23:17,826 --> 01:23:20,704
♪ Till you come undone ♪
1830
01:23:20,787 --> 01:23:22,455
♪ I will be there ♪
1831
01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:24,916
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
1832
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:28,712
♪ Then when your back's against the wall ♪
1833
01:23:28,795 --> 01:23:31,047
♪ And there's nowhere
And there's nowhere ♪
1834
01:23:31,131 --> 01:23:33,758
-♪ Nowhere to run ♪
-♪ I will be there ♪
1835
01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:38,304
♪ Cause when you're standing
On crumbling ground ♪
1836
01:23:38,388 --> 01:23:44,060
♪ Yeah, and the sky starts tumbling down ♪
1837
01:23:44,144 --> 01:23:48,440
♪ Well, I will always be around ♪
1838
01:23:48,523 --> 01:23:52,777
♪ You can count on me, yeah ♪
1839
01:23:52,861 --> 01:23:54,362
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
1840
01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:58,783
♪ You can count on me, yeah ♪
1841
01:23:58,867 --> 01:24:03,329
♪ You can count on me ♪
1842
01:24:03,413 --> 01:24:04,789
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
1843
01:24:06,499 --> 01:24:08,126
♪ Count on me... ♪
136110
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