Original subtitles

(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) You're late, and you've got patients waiting in

rooms one and two.

Margaret, I just a second walked in the

door.

Is it all right with you if I

take a few damn moments for myself before

you inundate me with the walking wounded?

Is that all right with you?

Thank you.

Oh, and Dr. Becker, you have a phone

call, but I forgot to ask who it

was.

Oh, that's just great.

Oh, thank you, Linda.

Yeah, terrific support staff.

All right, start my day with a compliment.

Which line?

The blinking one.

Not only am I blank...

Oh, sure, now it is.

Uh-oh, did you see that look in

his eye?

I never look directly at him.

Oh, that's right, you haven't been through it

before.

Been through what?

Well, every four years he just loses it.

You mean more than normal?

I should have seen this coming.

I mean, both of his ex-wives have

called lately.

He took a big hit on his taxes,

and Lord knows the last time he was

with a woman.

Well, he doesn't seem any worse than usual.

Damn fools!

There are subtle differences.

You know, Margaret, you're right, lately Becker has

been a bigger pain in the ass than

usual.

How long does this usually last?

Usually until he kills something.

Last time it was the coke machine.

He said it was staring at him.

I know how that feels.

Hey, Reg.

Hey, Jake, hey, Heidi.

Hey, Reggie.

Oh, Heidi, did you happen to leave a

pair of sunglasses in here the other day?

I did, thank you.

Damn, I mean...

Here you go.

But I'm warning you, you leave that jacket

in here, you are not seeing it again.

Thanks for the warning.

Anyway, gotta go to work.

See you later.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

Hold on.

That's your girlfriend?

Your girlfriend?

Yours?

What's your problem, Bob?

My problem, Mr. Blind Date, is that it's

a sin that such a beautiful woman is

wasted on a guy who can't even see

her.

But I still got a sense of touch.

Hey, quit rubbing it in.

How come Bob never gets any woman like

that?

You mean non-inflatable?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

50 cents because I'm not paying for the

coffee I never got you know there's this

website where you tell them how much money

you have and they hook you up with

great trips but it's last-minute stuff so

you have to go right away you find

me a good vacation for $300 I'll be

happy to go that'll be easy they have

everything golf trips fishing trips you can even

go skiing yeah yeah I could wrap myself

around a tree get a concussion be out

of the office for months what about a

ski trip hey

Reggie Jake here we're going out to dinner

oh yeah be right out coffee yeah thank

you it's funny I can't remember ever seeing

you so casual I mean it's just that

you're always so dressed up that's all yeah

usually I am I mean I don't mean

to sound conceited or anything but all my

life every guy ever dated has been obsessed

with how I look well you know what

it's like yeah it's a drag but with

Jake I don't have to dress up it's

great I feel so free hey Jake Heidi

oh you're here early yeah most women are

late you know they take so much time

putting themselves together not me well good night

Reg see you tomorrow have fun we gotta

go that little man he's staring at me

again well all right then I see you

she's so much fun to talk to didn't

say a word to you didn't have to

it was a look at her eyes what

is it my imagination or are you not

as close to the floor as usual all

right you must know I'm wearing elevation-enhancing

accessories you know I'm wearing lifts lifts you

you're wearing stilts yeah and they're killing me

all right oh that's better well

I was crazy to agree with this I

don't want to go on a cruise where

you're going come on the cab is waiting

Margaret a cruise I didn't like being in

an elevator with strangers for seven minutes what

am I gonna do on a boat for

seven days stay out of the elevator come

on John Linda did a lot of research

before she booked this cruise it's gonna be

a lot of fun and besides you are

going to such great places Jamaica the Dominican

Republic Puerto Rico have you been out there

lately I'm already on that cruise I don't

need a vacation I just had a bad

couple of days I'm past that now hey

pop that freaking horn one more time I'm

gonna force feed that fat rest of you

one feed at a time yeah you know

I just hey no oh lord I thought

he would never leave now Linda I'm gonna

go back and close the exam rooms you

call Susan over dr.

Klein's office and reconfirm all the rescheduled appointments

you got it Susan I'm on it Julie

Linda yeah I'll be out soon uh-huh

dr.

evil just left you know we should go

on that cruise there's entertainment pool parties and

not a woman to be seen we do

great there yeah you should see the pictures

on the website these guys are so desperate

they're stuck dancing with each other it's

what kind of cruise please

tell me you mean happy hi

Linda welcome back is dr.

Becker back yet no not yet but he

should be in any minute why no reason

how was your week off mine was great

what'd you do well had to work so

I slept late watch soap operas ate ice

cream pretty much what you do here every

day what are you so worried

about you know the world my place in

it how long I'll have a place in

it that's great Linda you know it never

hurts to get in touch with your spiritual

side actually I've been drinking a lot hi

John welcome back how was the cruise it

was very nice did you have fun yes

it's very nice do you have any pictures

no no pictures I swear you're the only

person I know who goes away on vacation

comes back and has nothing to say about

it well I guess it was just so

special I haven't had time to process it

all you know you are being very secretive

did you have a little shipboard romance Linda

Linda you all right yes fine yes you

know John I've got the feeling that you

are hiding something from me but don't worry

I'll get it out of you eventually mrs.

Hahn would you please follow me I'll get

you set up in room one I'm going

to kill you greetings

losers hey who's this guy sitting with vision

quest that's Heidi get the hell out of

here I think she's taking advantage of Jake

because he's blind you know by letting her

parents go Wow suddenly Bob glad he never

took a shot at her unless you had

a gun with tranquilizer darts and that you

never had a shot at her I gotta

go Jake okay all right so dinner tonight

around 8 yeah sounds great Bob beautiful well

look who's back hey hello if it isn't

the king of cruising so did the king

find a queen why'd you say that oh

I don't know I just heard those cruises

were really great places to meet people what

do you what do you mean by those

cruises has Lynn has Linda been in here

no she's been on vacation for a week

why oh never mind let's just drop them

you know what rich I bet he did

meet somebody come on a single doctor on

a cruise yeah it would be weird if

he didn't meet someone mm-hmm all right

all right yeah you know what you act

you did get you guessed it I I

did meet some I just I just didn't

want to jinx it you know so let's

just say that this this person is a

very special it was very romantic and I

hope it works out I sent you on

a gay cruise I can't take this torture

anymore so kill me don't kill me that's

up to you but it was an honest

mistake whoa wait back up you went on

a gay cruise they didn't know yet did

they no no they didn't Oh John so

this special person you met what's his name

very funny very funny Oh Bob waited his

whole life for this someone else is the

object of ridicule now you all know it's

no big deal oh thank God no no

for you it is a very big deal

don't go on a vacation you said you

know it'll be relaxing you said it was

the most unrelaxing week of my at what

point did you realize it was a gay

crew oh I don't know somewhere between why

am and see what did you do in

your cabin all week oh yeah I know

I would have loved that but my my

two cabin mates Brad and Nevin they really

hit it off first first night I went

back to my stateroom early and let's just

say I never made that mistake again there

were no women on the entire ship oh

I thought there were but I was horribly

and publicly right dr.

Becker I promise someday you'll look back on

this and laugh too maybe maybe before that

day comes I'm going to kill you and

I'm gonna use my powers as a physician

to bring you back to life and I'm

going to kill you again hi

dr.

Becker hello Linda would you please go back

to the storeroom and bring me back a

box of syringes how do I know this

isn't a trap you don't how long

is this gonna go on so Linda made

a mistake John you have been tormenting her

for days yes so far much more fun

than my vacation don't you think you're carrying

on just a little too much I swear

you are acting like such a homophobe oh

come on Margaret you know me I don't

have anything against gay people I would have

felt just as uncomfortable with a boat full

of old people or young people or born

-agains or country music fans and thank God

they weren't country music fans but what was

so bad about this cruise do I have

to spill it out for you I was

the only straight man there do you know

what it's like to be a minority come

on you know what I'm talking about I

was really looking forward to getting away you

know yes you know I was hoping I

could meet someone that certainly wasn't gonna happen

on this cruise was it so people weren't

nice to you no everybody was really nice

so it wasn't completely miserable oh I guess

not I mean I you know I got

some Sun I caught up with my reading

how about the food Oh Margaret food was

marvelous how about the entertainment fabulous marvelous fabulous

I mean listen to me listen I swear

if anyone else went on this cruise they

would have come back with a funny story

oh but not you you treat it just

like you treat your whole life you look

for the negative you find it and then

you obsess about it John Linda made a

mistake move on what am I supposed to

do like you know find a humor in

all of this why not everyone I've told

has greetings

fry baby yeah back to your old height

hey bro mix why so spiffy I like

to look good when I go out with

Heidi you know especially since I'm sure that

when we're together everyone's staring at us no

they're staring all right well what's that supposed

to me oh well Jake I wasn't sure

if I should tell you but Heidi's sort

of been dressing down lately I mean like

casual means like pigpen I just think that

she's using the fact that you're blind to

let herself go well thanks a lot Reggie

well is it true no little sort of

yes why I don't know it's just easier

this way I mean I have to dress

up when I go to the office or

when I'm out with clients but when we

go out what does it matter you don't

think I matter no no no no that

came out wrong what I meant to say

was what's the point oh well thanks for

clearing that up I feel much better now

Jake I really thought I could get past

the appearance thing with you you also got

past the honesty thing no Jake wait wait

look you should care what you look like

when you go out with me even if

I can't see you so what are you

saying I'm saying I don't think this is

gonna work out goodbye Heidi that was your

solution to say goodbye what else was I

supposed to do you tell her to go

home hose off and put on a dress

that's like having an incredible piece of candy

so what if it falls on the floor

you pick it up wipe off the dirt

and pop it back in your mouth there

is coffee well well if it isn't dr.

strange love yeah fine fine take your best

shot oh that wasn't my best shot I

got lots more dr.

Becker I know you're still mad at me

but if it helps here my life savings

$300 well 260 of it is mine 40

I took from the cash box at work

don't be mad at me anymore please oh

here Linda you know keep the money actually

give me the 40 back but you can

keep the rest you know I I know

you I know you meant well I thought

about it and I realized that you know

maybe I was focusing on the negative what

could have been a fun experience Margaret told

you to say that didn't you shut up

look I don't care how it happened thank

you dr.

Becker thank you I mean yeah it's okay

oh by the way there's a message for

you at the office some guy named Trent

called he said he knows you're not gay

but if you just give him five minutes

he's sure he could change your mind tell

him no thanks five minutes what could he

possibly do in five minutes