Original subtitles

21 to 19

Three games out of four

What do I get?

The boot?

That's right

Turn it down

Christ, it's bloody freezing

It's bloody arctic

If you insist on going around naked

What are you wearing tonight?

Cloak and dagger?

What would you suggest?

Something that'll last until 4:00 in the morning

I'm not staying until 4:00 in the morning I have to work tomorrow

then wear something orthodox, like a suit

Could you answer me just one question?

Is it black tie or isn't it?

how should I know?

could you ring and find out?

And I know she will say that some are wearing black ties, some are not

All very democratic And all a big waste of time

don't be so stuffy

And don't wear that shirt

pussycat

I want you to wear the one I gave you

It's too small

You must have had a dwarf in mind

I love you in bright colors

A peacock

I love you anyway

Let's go somewhere on our own tonight

Gladys will have a fit

my darling

But wherever you got it, it's divine

And I'm so glad to see you

It was sweet of you to come

Forgive me, will you? I must get a drink

I'm parched. I'll see you later

Zee! My angel

Gladys, darling

How pretty you look

Thank you

You too, darling

You're such a wonderful color

Robert told me you've been to Spain for a week

When did you get here?

I didn't see you come in

about two drinks ago

Only two? Where's Robert?

out there someplace

I'm mad about those earrings

thanks. They're fake

A pity

Yes,you know

Robert insisted

I leave the real ones in the shop

Insurance, you know

So sad

Listen, if you're really looking for him the last time I saw him

he was lurking behind a potted palm over there

I must go and find him

I have something I have to tell him about

Something

I bet you don't know what the word "byssus" means

No, I don't actually and I don't care

Beard. Having long, silky byssus or beard

how exciting

Now, I wanted your advice

There's some very interesting African sculptures

come up for auction at Sotheby's

They're Nigerian, in point of fact

but I think they'd be divine for the rose garden

Yes

we'll go and have a look one morning next week

and afterwards we'll have a very smart lunch at Burke's

Well, are you sure now?

Because last week when you said that

you forgot and didn't call

There is a lady behind you in a silver dress. Who is she?

No, the other side, the other side

that's darling Stella

Darling Stella?

Can you effect an introduction?

Of course

But who told me you were settled down

and were getting eight hours sleep a night?

That was during one of my fits of depression

You're a naughty boy

Very naughty. Is she a lady of leisure?

No, no, no. She owns a boutique

You know, oriental tat

but some rather nice frocks

Stella, dear

There's someone who doesn't know you

I thought you said this was going to be a small gathering

No, no, darling

not a small gathering, just small people

This is Robert

Robert Blakeley

Do you need a bodyguard?

No, I don't think so

Well, now that I've broken the ice, I'll circulate

And don't forget your promise to call

Yes, Gladys

What is this?

It's a Koran case

It's got a dent in it

I believe I bit it

really? Do you bite everything?

No, usually not

Are you a lady of leisure?

I'm afraid not

What then?

I have a shop where I design dresses

you could tell me

Would you say that I am a particularly well-dressed man?

No, not particularly

No?

Don't you think

that you should take me in hand?

Clothes are a very personal thing

I know

That's what I mean

I think she looks like a bag of bones

Really? I think she looks quite nice

Do you?

Who is she?

I have no idea

Well, I think I'll find out

Excuse me, love

Blakeley

I say, Blakeley. Your game next

Yes, I'll be right there

Perhaps I could come to your shop and you could do me some shirts

Most of my designs are for women.

Couldn't you make an exception in my case?

Perhaps

Only perhaps?

You would love my family

They're all doctors

What makes you think I like doctors?

you know, I mean, it just shows

I can't see it myself

He's an architect

He develops properties, things like that

I know he's an architect

I've heard of him

Have you?

it's not easy being married to a giant

Or a dwarf

It's not easy either way

agony

Blakeley. Look, if you can't come

we'll have to play on without you

I'll come right now

Excuse me

billiards

He loves his little games

Do you play?

I'm afraid not

Nor do I

Ping-Pong is my sport. Robert says it's because it's more aggressive

Would you like to go watch them?

Fine, if you like

Good shot

I really cannot stand this room

It gives me the creeps

Have you ever noticed how Gladys always has one of everything?

One actor, one painter, one faith healer?

But we all come and guzzle her champagne

She guzzles out of a silver mug. Crafty

You know, you can't get through to her after 11:00 in the morning

All her words begin to go, sort of

You know she asks Robert his advice about everything?

Even having her face lifted

Asked his advice

It'll be my turn soon for that

now you know who to ask

Me

but I like your face

Your shadows

Marvelous

We should have brought our embroidery

I hope he doesn't lose

Or I'll get the blame

He's a bad loser

He's a miser too

Do you know that he didn't even buy me my wedding ring?

Borrowed his sister's

We got the weirdest wedding presents

Do you know what one of them was?

A collapsible leather waste-paper basket

Yucky green leather

Did you get nice wedding presents?

I eloped

good for you

Where is he?

He's in the country

Any children?

Yes. Two boys

How charming

there you are, my darlings

How nice to see you're getting along

Yes, isn't it?

You know this room has always had a special quality for me

It's a man's room

Something they don't build into houses anymore

Yes. Thank God

What did you say?

I was just telling her about myself

Frightened her somehow

You know, she told me

that she's prone to weeping if anything nice happens to her

Stella?

Are you all right?

Yes

open the door then

What's upset you?

Nothing. Really

If I call

will you have dinner with me?

Robert! We're all going dancing

I'm not going dancing

I'm going home

no. Me want me Bobby in me arms

I'll call you tomorrow

All right, I'm coming

Bugger

Yes, my little pussycat

You cut out that little girl crap

because you're not persuading me to do anything

You're not persuading me

We are not going dancing

It's getting late

You see that?

That is the first time in years that I've worn a watch

That's what you've done to me

You've made me count the minutes

I've waited all day to see you

What do you want to eat?

I feel I ought to warn you

I'm expensive

I only eat the choicest things apart from cabbage

really? Zee likes that too

Late at night

I knew we had something in common

Is there anything else?

I don't know that yet, do I?

People never want to admit they were in love once it's over

How they sat on a bench and waited or danced all night

Or went for a walk in the frost

blew on someone's fingers

Everyone has two types

and one is true and one is false

How can you tell?

You can tell by their skin

And by the touch

And by the eyes

The windows of the soul

Come on, let's go

A hummingbird

A pretty one

wrap yourself up. It's very cold

Do you like to be kissed there?

Liar

I lied to your wife

I told her my husband was in the country

Whereas, in fact, he's dead

that makes you a widow

And a liar

Where are we going to eat?

do you want me to take you to dinner or do you want to cook me an egg?

I don't know

Why don't you cook me an egg, eh?

Because you can't cook

No. I drop things

You know how it is

You get over being young and then suddenly you're young again

I wish that we had met in a different place

On a quiet road in the country or a rainy afternoon in a tearoom

Robert Blakeley, you said

here I am

I told you we'd meet again

Some lunch

Thank you

I just love eating in between meals

You know, I saw a funny thing just now

A man sitting at a long table

with six or seven women opposite him, all Indian

What do you think they were?

Indians?

No, I mean their relationship

Sisters, maybe

I wish I had a sister

Someone to confide in

I love your shop

It's so clever

I bet you can't guess why I'm here

I'm not clairvoyant today

I never am on Mondays

Well, I want you to dress me from head to toe

excuse me, madam

Would you like me to put these in the back?

Yes, do

lovely

Boys as well

what a pretty thing

but I'm afraid that one's sold, madam

That never deterred me, dear

What are you?

I'm a 12

Do you want to try it on in there?

Don't want everyone to know you're a 12, do you?

Why not?

I'm proud of it

Real men don't like skinny women

They only think they do

because they're supposed to look better in clothes

But what happens when the clothes come off

and you climb between the sheets on a cold winter night?

Then they like to know they're with a real

I suppose it's all right if you're a fashion model or something

but you can't expect a man to make love to a picture in a magazine.

Well, of course, there are men who do make

some sort of love to the pictures

But, honey, they're only interested in the pictures, not the women themselves

Crikey, who's going to do this up for me?

Your husband

Ah, but what happens when I'm not with him?

Or he's not with me?

That does sometimes happen, you know

what do you think?

No, no, it just doesn't fit

the neck's too big

I like it

I adore the color

It's meant for somebody else

I don't care. Please, Stella

I want it

I've got to have it, got to

Gavin

Yes, madam?

Bring a pad, will you?

super! Thank you, Stella

You know, I'm terribly lucky

Robert and I get along better than anyone we know

Keep still, will you?

We go coasting along

each in our own little way

We don't ask questions

Robert and I

It's not that we have

secrets

it's just that we

trust each other

Bust, 39

I'm not dependent on him and he's not dependent on me

We're, inter-dependent

Shoulder to waist, 60

That's all right

can I have it by the weekend?

I don't know

Can we have it by the weekend?

I suppose so, yes

Can you deliver it?

Do you have our address?

Yes, we can deliver it

No, I don't have your address

Stella, please, can I have credit?

I'm a little overdrawn

I think we can risk that

You know how it's sometimes

We do have enough of that material

don't we?

Yes, I'm sure we've got some upstairs

but I don't think we have enough

You'd better phone Reynolds

see if they have any

He's a bit on the thrifty side

but

once he sees the dress

I know he'll absolutely adore it

When he knows it's yours

he'll be charmed

That's sweet

That's not for sale. It's mine

Mustn't take what isn't ours, must we?

Bye-bye, love

Are you going?

I have to change and shave before I go to the office

I suppose I should have those things here for you

razors and such

I'm not a very good mistress, am I?

You're not my mistress

We're still lovers

I'll call you this afternoon

I won't be able to see you

My sons are coming back So you won't have to make excuses tomorrow

I never make excuses

And now you're beginning to sound like a mistress

Good morning, darling.

Here we are. Isn't that a lovely breakfast?

I got it out of the newspaper's suggestions for today

it's so nice to be domesticated

Now and then

How do you feel about going to the theater?

I don't.

You know you can't go at each other every night

darling

I mean

you'll wear yourselves out

It's only wearying

when it's something you don't want to do

When it goes against the grain

is it very genial?

Do you watch her make fruit salad?

I assume she can cook

That would be one of her trump cards

And I bet she has a footstool

I can always tell the kind of cow who has a footstool

She suggests that you open a fish stall

I can just see it all

You spread out on a goatskin rug recalling your childhood memories

Your traumas, your poverty

How you never got to see your mother cause she had to go out and scrub

And, of course, she's a good listener

They all are at first

Then soon you'll have to listen to her little cantata

Alone, not understood

And good, so very, very good

It's a little bit archaic, you know

And who are you?

Miss Adventuress

with the husky voice and the long cigarette holder

It's all a bit archaic, you know

I bet the pair of you wail

Why don't you make a record?

We'll make a lot of things

You know, you're in a muddle

You don't know who loves you best

Her, and all those adoring little apprentices down in your office

with their hair and their tiny tits and their drooling

And there's me

Why don't you take a lover?

Is that what you recommend?

yes, that's what I recommend

I'll take care of the meals

the theater tickets

and any other expense he may incur

But, darling

remember how jealous you get

I mean, you go quite mad

You start ringing people up and going through my things

You check my panties and you come out in all those little white spots

Doesn't enhance you, you know

Remember last month

when I came in that hired car to that bloody banquet?

And you were waiting for me on the steps

All hot and bothered, weren't you?

Because I was sitting next to the driver

and it took me a moment to get out and you thought the worst

You thought we were finishing something off

didn't you?

And you had to have me

right then and there in the lane

Didn't you?

Didn't you?

Get out of here, you slut

And you love it

You love it

love it

That's why you're still here

You love the uncertainty

You don't know what I did yesterday

You don't know who I was with or what I got up to

You don't know what I'm going to do today and nor do I

Enjoy yourself

I have, baby

I had a thing with a doctor in Spain

I love doctors

He said to me

Shall I undress you like a doctor?

He was very good-looking

very hardworking

Six children, busy

His waiting room was full of patients

We could hear them on the other side of the wall

We had to whisper

But it didn't matter

They couldn't hear his lips

They couldn't hear him touch me and caress me

He was so gentle when he touched me

And he was panting

He was panting

Panting

Panting, panting

And?

baby

I don't want to be the cause of all those terrible white spotties

You had it off with him on the floor

didn't you? Or maybe it was the couch?

The good old utility couch with people on the other side

Unfortunate people

And you gave the doctor one of your quick jabs

You swept the unfortunate man right off his feet

It's a good job you can't conceive

otherwise I would be maintaining an orphanage

But you always get them like that

don't you?

You always get them like that

A quick bang before they know where they are

A punch in the face

a whiff of ammonia

But you don't keep them, do you?

You can't keep them

You can't keep the love of a man. Right?

I'm keeping you, baby! - Yes?

no, you're bloody well not

You son of a bitch

And what the hell is going on now?

I thought I'd go back to Spain for a couple of days

get some sun

and maybe have a little physical check-up

I suppose you think that's very funny

I think we both need a vacation shot

You just came back from Spain a week ago

That's right

And you can tell that bag of bones of yours

she can cancel that lousy dress I bought yesterday

And just where do you think I get the money

for you to go to Spain every time you feel like it?

Quite frankly

Scarlett

I don't give a shit

If you ever get anything in your eye

you put salt water into it

And then you close your eye and it makes it tear a lot

And then the thing comes out

Couldn't you just cry?

You mightn't be able to

One of the boys in our dormitory cries at night and eats nuts

His parents are in Rio de Janeiro

I have to comfort him

How do you comfort him?

I say, "Pull yourself together, Chris

And things like that

His name's really Crispin

but he's called Chris

Do you like school, Shaun?

I like home better

I hated school

All the boys at school used to call me Muggins

So I went out and I bought a hamster

A vicious hamster with vicious teeth

And I took it into school and I showed it to all the other boys

And none of them ever called me Muggins again

I think you should go to bed

Come on, school tomorrow

Come off it

Say good night to Mr. Blakeley

I won't be long

Come on, Oscar

Brush your teeth

Who nicked my toothbrush?

Will you sleep?

I hope so

But I doubt it

I hope you enjoyed my family

I'm sorry it wasn't much of an evening

don't be sorry

I think your boys are charming little men

Where will you go now?

Home, I suppose

When's she coming back?

I don't know. She'll be away for a few days

Tomorrow night

My housekeeper will cook us dinner

And we'll be alone, the two of us

All right?

You must go

Must I? Must I?

You must

Say whatever it is you have come to say

Mrs. Blakeley is downstairs

What?

Your wife is downstairs

My what is where?

Why the hell didn't you tell me before?

You said you didn't want to be disturbed

What time is it?

6:30. She got here before 6:00

She insisted I came to tell you

tell her I'm not here. Tell her

Tell her I've gone away

Tell her any damn thing

I've already told her you were working but didn't want to be disturbed

You bungle everything, don't you?

Well, would you like to tell her that you were misinformed?

No

No. I thought you wouldn't

Damn it

would you do me one favor and get your glasses repaired?

They're beginning to get on my nerves

Both them and you

Get a pair on the bloody National Health

Do you think I've got money to burn

while you go flying off to Spain for one night?

it was cold and it was wet

it's

Just what the hell did you expect me to do? Just sit there and

No, I

stare out of the window

and look at the rain?

No

I expected you to have some sense

that's all

you must have had a rough day today

No, I had a very good day

Did you?

I tried to call you all

night

last night to say I was sorry, but

there was no answer

I was out

Where do you want to eat?

Why, home, darling

Home sweet home

I don't think there's a lot to eat at home

we'll find something

We could go over to Gladys

She's having people to dinner

I wouldn't dream of that, darling

I just want to go home with you and relax

Look, I think there's something I should tell you

later, darling, when we're at home

I'm too tired to listen even

Intimate, a deux

How lovely

What are we having?

Or should I say

who are we having?

And a note from our trusted housekeeper

Dear Sir Robert

Sir?

You haven't been knighted yet, sweetie

The joint is in the oven and should be ready at 8:30

Hope everything is to your satisfaction

Yours truly, B. Donovan

Our ex-housekeeper hopes everything is to your satisfaction

Quite a wit our Mrs

Thing when she puts pen to paper

I always was warned of the Irish

Really?

They speak very well of you

Our mystery caller

It's no mystery to me, baby

Bobby, seriously

would you

Would you like me to make myself scarce?

Why, if it isn't darling Stella

What a lovely surprise

Come in, come in, come in

Let me take your cloak

And what is that?

Our first course

Pâté

Did you make it yourself?

I bet you did, didn't you?

Yes

you see?

I told you she would know how to cook

I just knew it

Did you take quantities of belly of pork and veal

and oddments from wild duck and pheasant

and dry white wine

and juniper berries and

Carcasses and all that?

Zee

Will you shut up?

I wasn't being vicious, was I?

I don't know

Were you?

Me?

Would you like a martini?

Make the lady some martini, Booby

Your hands are cold

It was hard to get a taxi

They'd all gone home to their tea

Pigs

He tried to charge me double

He thought I was a Norwegian

Are you, Stella?

Of course not

She's a Celt from the top-of-the-morning country

Actually I have Spanish blood

Aha , Toro

Ta

Robert collects fish

He has a whole collection

They're puffers and walking fish and flying fish

and kissing fish and scavengers

and barracuda and, piranha

You know, they eat other fish and cows and things like that

They're Robert's favorite fish

He never said they were his favorite

Robert loves the sea

He never said he loved the sea either

So he doesn't love the sea

And what did you do today?

Did you have some lovely fittings?

I had a lovely day

I didn't go near the shop

My boys were going back to school

How old are they?

Nine. They're twins

Twins?

you didn't tell me

Did you breastfeed them?

I sat next to a man at dinner one night

whose wife had just given birth to twins

And he said You haven't lived until you have seen a woman breastfeed twins

Evidently his wife would lie sprawled on the bed

a tit in either direction

and it was just evidently fantastic

I didn't have enough milk

You know

I read in the papers once about a sheepdog

I think it was a Pyrenees sheepdog

that had 14 puppies and only 12 tits

Isn't nature cruel?

Twelve out of 14's not so cruel

the twins have survived anyway

that's nice

I wish I'd met them

I, I love little boys and little girls

Wouldn't you like to chew on a bone?

Or a piece of gristle?

What a good idea

Why don't you take us to our favorite restaurant?

With people around

it might help fill in some of the gaps

I'll go get my clobber, okay?

Gaps?

I didn't notice any gaps

Did you?

Chasms

Well, I'm ready

Bobby darling

would you douse the fire?

We do have our little economies

You know, we used to have our correspondence addressed here

One, One day at lunchtime

I, I found a pearl in my oyster

It was just a grotty little pearl

but still a pearl

He comes from Parma

You know, where the violets grow

And the ham

The boys go back today?

Reluctantly

I wish I had been with you to see them off

I bet neither one of you know about Parma violets

Even if we did, we wouldn't deprive you of the pleasure of telling us

Well, they're very delicate and they're what people give

when they want to give something really special

When they're in love or someone dies, or

Ah, yes. Now let me see

What shall we have?

I think

I think we should have some pasta to start with, don't you?

How about cannelloni?

I adore cannelloni

Then we should have

let me see

Chicken cacciatore

How's that?

Sounds fine

And for the signore?

Melon and Dover sole

Melon and Dover sole

I think he's frightened of getting an ulcer

Everyone seems to have them these days

Mind you, it wouldn't surprise me

the way he eats

I mean

he has nothing but fry-ups

bacon

fried sausages

fried bread

fried tomatoes

fried eggs

Don't you try and dissuade him?

I mean, with your own cooking?

sure, sure

But, you know

what can I do? It's

It's his background, really

How can you fight it?

I mean, from what he tells me

that's what they lived on

When it wasn't bread and dripping

it was those eternal fry-ups

I mean

I tried to put him on a diet so many times I've lost count

I'm sure when I feed him a proper meal at home

he just goes straight out and has one of those huge luncheons

of sausages and chips and all the rest of it

Excuse me

If he wants to get fat and ruin his constitution

and get a pot belly, well, let him.

I mean, there's nothing I can do about it, is there?

I mean, if somebody has decided to do something

they can't be stopped, can they?

Gino

would you give this to my wife and tell her

Buona notte

allow me, sir

this most marvelous material

divine color

I don't know

Why, that bastard

He's run out on us

That dirty coward

If that isn't just like a man to run out

Are you terribly upset?

Not particularly

Did you want to have a good cry?

I want to eat

tomorrow I'll get him to send you some Parma violets

My husband isn't in the country

He's dead

I know

Why didn't you say so?

I didn't want to put you on the spot

Anyway, you ran out of the room to cry or throw up or something

So, you're on the loose?

Not completely

You know

I bet if we'd gone to school together

we would have been good friends

You'd have been perfect

I might not

I got expelled from school

You did? So did I

What did you do wrong?

No, what did you?

That's all right. Keep it

I'm sorry I left

I just couldn't carry it off

You don't have to explain

yes, I do

I've already told you that I didn't know she was coming back

She just appeared at the office

You're both so great at appearing and disappearing

But it's your little inferno and it's all very brittle

and boring and trite

Boy, you're a pain in the arse, you know that?

No, just superior

Can't I come in?

It's late. I'm tired

let me put you to bed

Now you're being silly

Let me undress you and I'll make love to you

while you're asleep

I want to feel you next to me very close

I'm very strong

You're so

I wanna be part of each other

You are awful

♪ Life is passing me by ♪

♪ Give me wings and I'll fly ♪

♪ Take the world in my hands ♪

♪ Prove for once I'm a man ♪

♪ I'll tell you what it's all about... ♪

I have here a bill from Harrods

To dyeing and dry-cleaning. £46

I'll pay for that

Just leave it here somewhere

You know damn well you can't

I always know

when the housekeeping is overdrawn

You start buying champagne and caviar

and the telephone gets cut off

Just wait till she finds out you're a miser

I've a feeling

she likes to spend a bit herself

Don't avoid the issue

We are going through these bills before everything is cut off

Bills always make us quarrel

That's why I came straight home tonight

Are we going to have a quarrel?

I told you this morning that we were going to go through these bills

And what the hell is all this for?

I'm going riding

Riding?

you know, horsey-horsey

Since when do people go riding in the middle of the bloody night?

Some friends of mine called me and asked me if I'd like to go for a midnight ride

I assumed they meant horseback riding

Let's see if I have everything

You had better resign yourself to the fact that you are not going anywhere

You just let go of me

Goddamn it, they're waiting for me

Let them wait

Who are they, anyway?

Who are they?

Lords, loafers, layabouts?

You're getting that old jealous feeling

aren't you?

no, I'm not

That's where you're wrong

Don't you kid yourself

Don't kid yourself

We are going to go through those bills like a

Is that your game today?

You have to tie me, right?

I said you don't love me

You dump me on the bed

Go ahead! Do it

Now, quiet

My hat! I want my hat

I tell you

I want my hat! I'm not going without my hat

Don't touch me. Leave me alone

Here's your bloody hat

What the hell do you think you're doing with me?

You just can't do this to me

And sit down

What the hell do you think you're up to?

You can't do this to me

I'm a prisoner

I'm going to scream

I'll shout

I'll expose you, I'll

I'll get all your bloody clean-living neighbors in here to save me

I want out! I want out

You woman hater

You Jew hater

You fascist swine

You imperialist

Have you finished?

Bobby?

Pussycat?

You're gorgeous

You'll always have women falling all over you

because you know how to treat them

You use them and abuse them and you make them suffer

I don't mind. She's nothing

If anything

she just whets my appetite

I'll fight her a duel any day

And win

No! No, don't untie me! I want it that way

There must be something you can do

I've tried everything

I think he thinks he's really in love with this cow

Then do it to him, dear

Have an affair with a gorgeous man

If your lot would stop increasing and multiplying

maybe there'd be somebody left to do it with

There's no need to get personal

love

or I shan't do your hair nicely

Now then, what's she like?

A slob

Worse than that, a soulful slob

Nothing I hate more than soulful people

She's always a little out of breath and sees beauty in everything

Especially in shit

Now, what do you want me to find out?

Everything

Anything you can find out

Their movements

whenever they meet

wherever they meet

Anything

She's got this poncey little fag working for her

and I want you to chat him up

what a bitch

Yes, I am a bitch

Open and straight

There are plenty of men around

She can have anyone she

she likes, but not him

Geez, they even write each other letters

She refuses to have lunch with him because she likes to brood

Well, it's not exactly as though you and Robert have both been angels

Why don't we put a curse on them?

They're having a crash right now

And he escapes by the skin of his teeth and she's disfigured

I don't want to give her the satisfaction of being dead

and her kids

put a little affliction on them

Zee, I refuse to sit with you

I refuse to have innocent children victimized

Ah, crap

You will do it, won't you?

I mean, you go have a look at him

Browse?

I suppose I could do with a few new clothes

I haven't told you what happened to me, have I?

I went to the club the other night

having a quiet gin and tonic on my own

when this divine creature comes prancing over with

Look, I've got problems of my own

Yes, don't we all?

Let's go find them

Come on

Let's find them

you're at it, aren't you?

I'll bet you're at it

Á la

bloody candlelight

Someone just kicked over your dustbin

Probably some of the local lads having a bit of fun

What's the matter?

Nothing

What's wrong?

You know that wasn't local lads

that's your wife

She's possessed

don't talk nonsense

She'd do anything

The other day she followed me in a car

I tried to hypnotize myself

I tried to pretend she wasn't there

you should have gone straight up to her and said

Why don't you piss off?

I'm frightened

Stella, what do you mean

you're frightened?

There is nothing to be frightened of

She's never going to let us have any peace

Stella, come over here

Now don't cry, darling

Please, don't cry

Look, I tell you what

Why don't I take you away for a couple of days?

When?

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow. Gavin can look after the shop

We'll go to, Scotland?

I thought you weren't coming

What do you mean you thought I wasn't coming?

Of course I was coming.

Get on the train

My case

I'll get the case

I'll bring it in

Go on, quickly, before it starts Robert?

Yes? Is it Robert Blakeley?

Yes, it is

I'm afraid Zee smashed your car

Is she all right?

there's not much I can do about it, is there?

Yeah, well, you can tell her that I'm sorry too

and you can also tell her that the repair costs

are coming out of her expense money

Robert, what was it?

It's a friend of Zee's

That poncey hairdresser

She's had some kind of accident with my bloody car

Why my car?

is she all right?

she's all right

She's just shaken up

She probably ran the bloody thing

into the wall on purpose

just to give herself an excuse to phone

Did you tell her where we were going?

Of course not

Then how did she know?

How should I know?

Perhaps she followed us on a broomstick

she's incredible

She's a pain in the arse.

I'm hungry

You get something to eat

What, again?

I know I'm going to get fat

I'll love you anyway

I'm going to get so fat

I'm going to lose all my chic customers

Let's feel some of this fat?

Enough of the passion, Tarzan

I'm going to get something to eat

All right, you get something to eat

I'll build up the fire

And when we get back

we'll look for a place of our own

Brand new

right in the middle of London

If you wanna be with her so damn much

why bother coming home at all?

Just pack up your shit and get the hell out of here

Think I give a damn if you ever come back?

I don't have to sit around here all weekend waiting for you

The rest is just crap

You can take your junk and get out of here

You've quite recovered from your accident

I see?

Why don't you get a flat?

Or better still, a mews?

She can have window boxes and grow things

Make sure the window faces south

She'll spend a lot of time in the kitchen, at the sink

at the stove, making her goddamn homemade pâté

and all that other shit she's so pompous about

Where's my car?

She'll get fat, of course

once she has a man

Jesus, I've seen her eat

And she'll want more kids

to make it richer, fuller

do you understand?

To hold it together

And of course you won't be able to give her any, will you?

You'll have to go to doctors

together, separately

And you'll have to get drunk to drown your sorrows

And you'll begin to notice little things about her

her smelly armpits

her greasy hair

And you'll have to get drunk, baby

every night

before you can get it upstairs

Was it an accident or did you drive it against the wall on purpose?

Maybe I did

if you did, you will be walking around on crutches for quite a while

I wouldn't do that

You wouldn't want to hurt me again and find out you were wrong

would you?

You'd have to go to your headshrinker for £15 a go

why did I do it?

Why did I do it?

Have the police got it?

How the hell should I know?

Is it in a garage?

Tell me

I said tell me

Hit me and I will

You rotten bitch

I'll kill you

No, I won't

no, I won't

I wouldn't give you the satisfaction

You come back here

Come back here, you

I haven't dismissed you yet

Never get away with this

Hey, you! You forgot your junk

Hello?

Is my husband in your skinny

chicken-like arms?

He's not here

I didn't think he would be

And before I open my fish stall

and while I have you on the blower

there are a couple of things I think you ought to know

Look, I really don't see that this is any of your business

You take my advice and skip it

You're not his type

You're not fun and games

you're a marvelous listener

But listening is dull in the sack

It never made for a good marriage

Not, Not his kind of marriage

He likes

He likes women to be a mess

That's why he's still with me

Can’t you see that?

shut up

Why

The nerve

Bitch

All right

I thought you'd left

What's the point in that?

Look, very simply

can you tell me where my car is?

South Morton Garage

Now

Now why couldn't you have said that earlier?

You didn't give me the chance

You just tore into me

Who has it?

Where is it?

Is it wrecked?

I didn't attack

You were feeling remorse because of your dirty weekend

I'll try to get a couple of hours sleep

Bobby

Can't we stop all this wrangling?

All this hell?

As of now

Wake me at 8:00 in the morning with some coffee

It can't be haunted because it's new

Nobody's lived here and nobody's died here

We'll liven it up a bit

You can paint a wall

I don't mean house paint

I mean art

Anything you want

Look at that

They get away with murder

We'll have to put a couple of pillars in there to support that

We can wave to the crowds

It's lovely

Yes, it's not bad, is it?

It's lovely

Shall we have it pink and gold and rosy or

You can have anything you want

What's it going to be like living with you?

I don't mean a night here, a day there

I mean, day after day, night after night?

Are you a day bird or a night bird?

Are you grumpy in the morning?

I don't know very much about myself in the morning

or any other time

I suppose

I wonder what's up there?

Are you all right?

Yes, I'm fine

I just feel a bit strange, that's all

How is she taking it?

she's all right, I suppose

We've been through it all before for years

She's gone to her lawyer

I've gone to mine

The one good thing is

we don't have any kids or financial worries

I think she'll move out altogether

Go and live in the sun

She loves the sun

Somehow

I don't ever see-- see us being completely happy

sure we will

We will

We'll do our best?

Where are you?

Over here

Are you all right?

I'm fine

Just fine

Was it babies?

You should have some because you're

You're so fond of them

I suppose so

That kid in your office building

you know

the Cypriot kid does he still chat to you?

he does But you know what he's done now?

He's bought a parrot and he's trying to teach it to speak Greek

Can we have a pet?

They die on us

One cat

one hamster

one canary, all in a row

That was our unlucky year

Let me do something cheerful for you

I know, I know

Let's go to the Italian restaurant up the street

It's new and it looks all right

I can't, I'm in a mess

No, you're not in a mess

I'm still your baby, aren't I?

No matter whose lover you are or whose husband

I'm still your baby, aren't I?

I told you we shouldn't have gone to that party

I know we shouldn't have gone

You said Gladys would be upset

damn Gladys

Come on

get dressed

we'll go out

No, I'm finished

I'm too tired, too sleepy

too late

I think I'd better go to bed

Come on

Do you ever feel lonely with her?

You better travel in front with me, sir

How long did they let you stay with her?

For a few minutes

when she was out of danger

What did she say?

Nothing

She was lost

She

She didn't know where she was

I think that she must love me quite a bit

Is that what you call it?

Had you had a row or something?

No

On the contrary

On the contrary?

What?

On the contrary, nothing

For God's sake, don't investigate

don't question everything I say

All right, I won't

Look

She almost killed herself

What do you expect me to do?

Go to her, cradle her, hold her hand?

No, I do not expect you to hold her hand

It crossed my mind

to let her die

I almost went back to the bedroom and let her bleed to death

There was a time when I didn't know either of you

You were just names

It was ages ago

I can't remember who I was or

what I did then or who I went out with

She asked me to ask you

to go to the hospital and visit her

Not to complain

She just wants to see you and talk to you. She likes you

You get the job done, you see?

You have this air of serenity

You keep your head above water

I'm sick of serenity

I'm sick of the way I'm expected to be

I got shortchanged too, you know

I had a husband I loved

We were happy

We could do crossword puzzles or paper a room together

And when my children were babies

he knew he was going to die

He had a cancer

a slow one

and he told me things he would like to have done

qualities he would like his sons to have

journeys he would like us to make

The last thing he said was

The front of the house and the woodwork need painting

Afterwards, I used to turn my pillow sideways

pretend it was a man in case I woke up in the middle of the night

So I'm sorry if I give the impression of being in charge

That's my mistake

I believe it's astrological

People of my sign do

Nevertheless

I will always be all right

So will you

What is a nervous breakdown?

Is it when you can't make up your mind or something like that?

it's when you act out of context with your environment

Don't say anything

I don't want any definitions

Do men get it?

One of my friends did once

He started ordering things by mail order

Had this fetish about having everything clean

I don't seem to be able to come through for either of them

You're doing fine, honestly

Don't be so bloody cheerful

You sound like my mother during the war

Breezy

That's what I need. A war

The trenches. Life and death

Cold, hard, real facts

Something to get hold of

What's the matter?

Are you crying?

You are crying, aren't you?

Come and sit down, sit down, relax

Did one of your boyfriends stand you up?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry

I don't know what it is

I mean

I have everything

A nice flat, central heating

John comes every night

And do you come every night?

You can tell me

Go on, confess

You can tell me anything, anytime

provided I listen

Someone asked me the other day...

My tailor, I think it was

He said

If your wife and your mistress were drowning

who would you save?

And I said

My wife

because my mistress would understand

You were wrong

Neither of them would

I'll plant them

You never know, they might take

You didn't know I like gardening

did you?

Yes. He told me

He never tells me anything about you

He slips up sometimes

calls me Stella

You'll lend him to me, won't you?

He's your husband

I just mean for a week or so when I get out

It's going back to an empty house that frightens me

I know

Of course you do

But your lucky number's coming up

It's your turn

It's funny how one gets one's happiness at the expense of someone else

Me of you. You of me and so on.

I got expelled at school

because I fell in love with one of the nuns

What a silly thing to be expelled for

I kissed her while she was making me up for one of the school plays

I was expelled for eating their altar breads

or whatever they call them before they're blessed

What part did you have in the play?

I was a boy

Shall I peel you an orange?

Yes, thank you

You know

I think I could get quite used to

having you as my personal slave

Only available for limited engagements

Had you planned it for long?

It was a spur of the moment thing

I was tired and a little drunk

I guess

And I'd just heard from a friend that you and Robert had leased a flat together

I suppose that triggered it off

It was all getting a bit much of late

Even before you arrived on the scene

it was, a bit much

I didn't know whether to talk or be the silent type or what

But you'll be all right

You'll have a good time in the beginning

The very beginning

The way people do

Maybe I can be your bridesmaid

I was my mother's bridesmaid when she married for the second time

I was only eight at the time

of course

I didn't know I wouldn't be with her anymore

Why not?

the man she was marrying didn't want me

We'd been so close up until then

She was more like a playmate to me than a mother

Of course, you can't blame him

Who wants a great big girl of eight around?

So I was packed off to school

I don't

remember seeing her many times after that

I've never told that to anyone

Not even him

You're the only one that knows it

What is this

Victorian or something?

Something

I thought it was something

Shall we have a housewarming?

Yes, if you like

We haven't any mutual friends

yes, we have. We have your boys

Do you know what Shaun said to me the other day?

He said, "Please indicate to Robert that great favor is curried

with material offerings from a stepfather

Shaun sounds like a bit of a blackmailer to me

he is

They both are

And I've made lots of resolutions

I shall be less extravagant

I shan't talk in the mornings

I'm an early riser

Except on Sundays when I lie in bed and eat toast

read the papers

And I promise I shall never have a head cold

We'll be a party in ourselves, won't we?

Will we?

Are you going to stay tonight?

No, I can't

Zee's invited some people over for dinner

Old friends

It's my sort of bowing-out night

She always manages to come between us some way or other

It's my last evening

I could hardly say no

I have things to pick up anyway

All right. I'll get on with the unpacking

And then I'll go out and buy some food and flowers

I'll get back as soon as I can

♪ I hear thunder, see cloudy skies ♪

♪ I see my people walk 100 miles ♪

♪ And I hear the tales ♪

♪ Of love and loss ♪

♪ I see people ♪

♪ I hear what people say ♪

♪ What people ♪

♪ Yeah, people say ♪

♪ Yeah, people ♪

♪ People! ♪

That's what mother birds do

To feed their young

Hey, love, what about that dance you promised me?

Super

mate, what kind of a party is this?

It's a drinking party, given by my wife

Well, I don't understand. I really don't. It's a shame

It is a shame

The two of you have always been such fun people

Yes, it was great fun

There aren't that many fun people around these days

I know

I mean, look at this lot here

It's taken us two weeks to collect them together

Hey, Bobby, it's my dance

my Bobby is drunk

Come on, baby, heavy boy

Come on with mommy

There's a good boy!

Come on. Come on

There's a good baby.

Hang on just a minute

Yes, what is it?

The party's over, dear

Thought we'd say good night

Oh, my darling. My baby

Oh, my darling

What are you doing?

You promised you'd stay with me until Gordon could move in with me

You promised

It'll only be for a few more days

It won't work

But you promised me

I was so damn drunk last night

I don't remember what I promised

Anyway

since when do we start keeping promises?

Since last night when you took me into the bedroom for a little talk

Last night is nothing but a blur

Another one of your damn games

My games? You dragged me into bed

I didn't drag you

And you did an awful lot of promising

You took me. You, You, you

You got what you wanted, didn't you?

Well, I was drunk and out of my senses

Last night didn't mean a thing

yes, it did

But you're too big a phony to admit it

baby, baby, baby

It's you, it's you, baby, it's you

Shut up, you bloody slut

Shut your filthy mouth

I'm sick and tired of playing your bloody games. I am finished

they are boring, brittle and trite

You're finished? You hypocrite

Go on then. Piss off

Go to your perfect lady

You make a perfect match

A perfect pair of big fat phony frauds

You're the fat fraud

At least she's honest

She doesn't need a bloody game to keep her alive

You're such a fake

You're so weak and frightened

it's pathetic

You think she's going to save you

don't you? Well, she's not

She's as big a fake as you are

And what the hell are you?

I may be the worst thing in the world

but I carry it in front where you can see it

I'm not a liar like she is

Everything about her is a lie

Her whole life is a lie

And she hides behind a mask of

Good God, don't you ever stop?

You have to convince yourself

that everything is as cheap and nasty and rotten as you are

otherwise you'd be back in the bath again with your bloody wrist cut

I don't have to convince myself.

I think I know what she is

I think I know

She practically told me herself

Get out of here and bloody well leave me alone

I am sick of your twisted mind spewing its garbage all over me

Twisting everything it sees into a mess

I don't want to hear it

I don't want to hear anything you've got to say

ever again as long as I live

Leave me alone

Certainly, I had a lovely time sitting here last night

waiting for you to turn up

It was absolutely wonderful to be woken by Gladys this morning

telling me that I'd missed one of the best parties of the season

you didn't

Anyway, it wasn't the small boring dinner

that you insinuated it was going to be

No, I don't suppose it was

She said that you danced with each other half the night

I don't know what I danced. I told you

I was pissed

Anyway, you decided to stay

I didn't decide anything

I passed out

Bloody hell

Space

That's what we promised each other

Remember all those grand phrases of yours?

Yes

And that's what I still promise

It's all the other things

All the strategy, the intrigues

You're stringing her along

giving her hope

I am giving her nothing except money

yes, you are

You're keeping it going by hook or by crook

All right! What do you suggest?

Suicide or murder?

Neither. Just honesty

Last night you had a party

Tonight you'll have to tuck her in

We've always had separate rooms

You know that, you've asked about

I don't care whether you have separate rooms, beds, gas ovens

I just don't want her name bandied around here

and her wants and her parties and her needs

Maybe she'd like me to sit on the end of the bed to honor the proceedings

I'll put it to her

I don't want to see you like this

I don't want to be seen like this

You're everything I've ever despised

and I've become everything I vowed never to be

That's where our love has got us

Right

That's

That's it then

Let's forget it

Look, I, I didn't set out to fall in love with you

I set out to have an affair

a little bit on the side

the sort of thing a man wants

But I did fall in love with you

That's what happened and that's the way it stands

As for the other things

her life, my life

It's all junk

It's a mess and I don't want it

But I've got it

I wish now you'd let her die

Hello, Rita?

This is your boss

What's going on up there?

There's been several phone calls for you and Mr. Nelson's got some drawings

All right, all right, never mind then

I want you to come and have lunch with me

Where?

you know where

The same place where we always have lunch

All right

But it'll take about 15 to 20 minutes to get there

I'll wait

Your front door was open

so I let myself in

I went over to your other place

but they said you'd moved

Very nice

Clean, new

What do you want, Zee?

What do we both want?

I expected to hear from you after our little talk in the hospital

I don't know what

What on earth are you talking about?

A girl has to be quite grown-up to be expelled for kissing a nun

How old were you, Stella?

I'm sorry, Zee

I don't see that that's any of your business

A child can't be expelled for falling in love

If you were 15, 16, well, then

Maybe there were other things

Other girls at school that you fell in love with?

You can tell me, love

We're friends

There's nothing to tell

come on, Stella

Don't make it so difficult for me

You're crazy

Aren't we all, love?

Just a little?

I called her at the fiat

The telephone was out of order

Look, if you hear from her

would you tell her I called, please?

I'm going to have to get dressed and get out of here

before your young man arrives

I don't have to answer the door

He'll think I'm still working

Don't be greedy

Besides which, that would be dishonest

All right? Thank you

Cheers, guv, thanks

Stella

Stella, stop being silly

Open the door

What are you doing here?

just paying a little social visit

Where's Stella?

In the bedroom

Leave me alone. Please

What happened?

I don't know

Don't worry

She's a bit confused right now, Bobby

She'll be all right in a couple of days

Then maybe we can all get together

talk over old times, old loves

Baby wants something to eat

It's been one hell of a day

Coming?

♪ I'm going in circles ♪

♪ I don't really know ♪

♪ Where have I come from? ♪

♪ Where will I go? ♪

♪ You say that you love me ♪

♪ Well, maybe you do ♪

♪ There's nothing that matters ♪

♪ Or anything new ♪

♪ I've been through a million ♪

♪ Trips in the night ♪

♪ Living with shadows ♪

♪ Looking for light ♪

♪ And passing the faces ♪

♪ How lonely they seem ♪

♪ Looking for traces ♪

♪ Of yesterday’s dream ♪

♪ I'm going in circles ♪

♪ I've been here before ♪

♪ Never expected ♪

♪ Anything more ♪

♪ I might die tomorrow ♪

♪ I might go to Spain, yeah ♪

♪ I'm dumb to the sorrow ♪

♪ And numb to the pain ♪

♪ Yeah ♪