Original subtitles

The bedroom eyes, sultry, dark, and smudged. The batting of thick rows of

false lashes.

The teddy dolls, garters, the empty doe-eyed stares.

The carnal pouts and loud whimpers. The Brazilian waxes and trims.

Doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, 69.

An enthusiastic head.

I mean, who actually enjoys giving head that much?

Well, at least that's how I saw porn.

I, as many other women, didn't understand it.

Feared it, in fact.

In my 26 years, I've seen maybe three or four pornographic movies.

Porn, for me, was perverse.

Dark.

And not because I had a strict religious upbringing, which I had, but because I

feared it.

Amen.

Thank you.

It caused problems in relationships.

It was the root of a lot of relationship deception.

The girls in porn movies had a visceral effect on married men, encouraged them

to wonder, expect more, want more, to stray.

But over the last year, I unexpectedly became immersed in its world, lived

amongst its starlets, directors, promoters, and I was surprised with what

I found.

I'd been dating Michael for five years when he asked me to move from Louisiana

to Los Angeles.

At first, the experience was surreal.

Southern California was beautiful.

The weather, the architecture, the food, the palm trees.

But Los Angeles changed Michael.

He began working 12, 14-hour days.

He became unavailable in his cell.

And he started receiving strange late-night calls from women who wouldn't

even tell me who they were. Hello?

Who keeps calling and hanging up?

When I'd ask him who was calling, he'd always sound annoyed.

To top it off, a month after we moved to L.A., he started traveling for weeks at

a time.

to Denver.

He wouldn't answer his cell at night, and I could never reach him in his hotel

room.

I began to really worry.

As a writer, I worked from home and had too much time on my hands.

Too much time to imagine what must be going on behind my back.

He and his colleagues at strip bars.

Him getting a private dance in a dimly lit back room.

been paying for special services, getting blown by strange women.

Oh, yeah.

Okay. Okay, bye-bye.

I became a warden in my own home.

Sometimes I'd think that I wanted him to do wrong so that I could catch him, so

that I didn't have to wonder anymore.

For me, knowing something horrific was happening was better than not knowing at

all.

Then one day, when I was opening the mail, I finally found what I was looking

for.

Michael had been paying for a subscription to an adult website that

catered to men and women seeking casual sex.

According to his bank statement, he'd been using the website since we'd moved

to L.A.

When I called him on it, he broke down and came clean.

He told me he was a sex addict.

And so ended our five-year relationship.

My friend Mindy flew from Buffalo to stay with me for a while.

After a few depressing nights out, we started staying in.

It's my last night here, girl. You have to meet people somehow.

And the internet's a great option.

I don't want to date.

And besides, searching for guys on the internet?

How desperate do you think I am?

Not Michael.

That motherfucker.

Nothing else will get you out of the apartment.

Either that or you go back to me. I'll make a lot of people happy.

Uh-uh.

I'm not going back.

There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

I mean, you made a mistake.

I mean, it's not like people are going to tell you I told you so.

Yeah, well, they'll think it.

Have you ever heard that saying that marijuana is like the gateway to other,

more harsher drugs?

Well, do you think that pornography can lead men like

Michael into being more curious about other women, which causes them to,

you know, have sex with them online?

Makes sense.

Fucking sex addict.

Fuck him.

After taking Mindy back to LAX, I reluctantly signed up for internet

dating. The mere hour after uploading my profile, I received messages from nearly

40 men.

A few hours later, the number had escalated to a staggering 200.

Just as my finger was tiring from pressing the delete button, I saw Tom's

profile.

He was handsome, and like me, he was looking for honesty in a relationship.

At least he said he did.

As I scanned his profile, I found it almost frightening how many interests we

shared.

I decided to write him back.

We ended up chatting online and talking on the phone for hours at a time.

We talked so much that I felt like I'd known him forever.

There wasn't a thing about him that I didn't like.

At least, not for the first six days.

On day seven, however, he got more specific about what he did for a living.

He directed adult films, a.k.a. porn.

I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that put somewhat of a dabber on things.

In fact, that would be an understatement.

But when he asked me to dinner, I accepted.

After all, he was the most intelligent, interesting guy I'd talked to for a long

time.

Yeah, so, what's it like directing adult films?

It's pretty much like directing any movie.

Well, except that people really have sex.

Is that something that you've always wanted to do?

No. No, actually, I started out doing glamour photography in Seattle.

Oh, really? And then, like, just one thing slung to another.

Do you like what you do?

I do.

I do like what I do.

So, um... This casting couch thing.

How does that work?

It's like what I see in the movies?

I mean, I'm sure it is. Well, actually, I know it is.

Except I've never used one.

Never have, never will.

Really? No.

Cool.

So how do you cast your movies?

Well, if it's a new girl, I just bring her in the office and we interview her.

Pretty simple stuff.

So, um, why do you want to do movies?

I want to be the next Jenna.

Well, what about Jenna?

What is it about her that appeals to you?

The money, the fame, the respect.

Listen, sweetheart.

There's not going to be another Jenna.

And most people don't respect porn stars.

So do you really think you're going to be able to...

Fuck on camera in front of a big crew, all those people.

Are you kidding me? That's the best part.

Okay.

Well,

it's a pleasure meeting you.

And I'm going to have Robbie come in and take a couple Polaroids for the file.

And I'll call you when something comes up.

Cool.

Great.

Do you, um... You don't think that...

Porn is a damaging industry?

That's a loaded question.

I mean, any business could be damaging or dangerous, you know?

Well, I mean more for the girls. I mean, you don't think it's psychologically

damaging for a woman to have sex for money?

I mean, sure, if she has issues with it.

But then any time you're trading a service for something that you're

uncomfortable with, it's...

Setting yourself up for psychological damage.

Drugs.

How prevalent are they to the porn industry?

I wouldn't say it's any more prevalent than Hollywood.

You know, no more, no less.

And, you know, what about society? You don't think that porn is damaging to

society?

I think sexual repression is damaging, but not sexual expression.

Why, you want to do porn?

Can I?

It can make you a star.

Only if there's a couch and couch.

Two nights later.

Tom invited me to a poker game in

Taizan.

What kind of fingernail polish are you using these days, Rob?

They are the gold.

You, Alex, and Freddie, what do you all got?

I got a pair.

Of what, Kevin?

No. Come on, let's put them on the table.

Alex got nothing, though. What are you going to do?

Is that a gay thing?

It's a gay thing, Rob.

You having fun in there?

Yeah, I totally did.

I could really get used to this game.

Well, you should. You're up like, what, 300 bucks?

Yeah.

Beginner's luck.

Sure.

So, um, your friends, they're all in porn, huh?

I mean, yeah, they all have something to do with porn.

Wow, I just, um... Are you surprised?

Yeah, I mean, I guess I wasn't expecting them to be so, I don't know.

Normal?

I guess.

That's pretty much what we are.

It's cool. They're really nice.

I'd always thought of porn people as the underbelly of society.

but meeting these people not having known who they were really surprised me

they were a lot like everyone else intelligent witty polite

Oh, God.

A pornographer?

What?

Are you insane?

Relax, Min.

Weren't you the one that wanted me to start dating anyway?

And he's going to get me out of the apartment, right?

Isn't that what you said? Exact words.

Yeah, short of hooking up with a pornographer.

Are you even listening to yourself?

You were just involved with a sex addict.

He's a thalassin.

Seriously, it sounds much worse than it is.

He's really nice.

And his friends are too.

I can only imagine.

Show me what you got.

That's how deep you can go.

There you go.

Three and a quarter.

No teeth.

which is what it's all about, right?

Hey,

why not?

Go fuck yourself.

You like this?

Yeah, I like it.

You look like a little fucking whore. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I am a little fucking whore.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You look like a whore, pussy.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yes, my bad.

I'll fuck you like a whore.

Please, uh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, do it.

Oh, mm-hmm.

Give it to me.

Oh, like this. Do you like this?

Yeah,

I like this.

Is that big enough? You need bigger.

Give it to me.

That's right.

What?

Give me that cup.

Just give me my pussy, please.

Please give me that cup.

I want it now.

Yes.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Look, I know how it looks.

On a whim, I move out here with my boyfriend.

Turns out my boyfriend turns into a sex addict, and then suddenly I get involved

with a pornographer.

Exactly. I mean, this can't be anything good. Come back home to people that care

about you.

I mean, this might seem safe now, but you don't know what you're getting

yourself into.

Mindy, you've got to trust me.

I'm a big girl. It looks much worse than it is.

I'm going to be fine.

But you just ran away from that world.

What I was running away from were the lies, Min.

Tom's been very upfront with me.

Very honest about who he is and what he does.

Michael, he wasn't for over five years until I had him backed into a corner.

I learned a valuable lesson after telling Mindy that I was dating Tom.

I learned that I no longer had anyone to share my experiences with.

At least none that had to do with the industry.

It's not like I could tell Mom.

And honestly, how could I expect Mindy to understand?

Okay, Carmel, Marco, a lot of dick sucking.

You know, work it. A lot of spit. Spit on the cock. Work it up. And I'd rather

have a lot of positions, shorter times, than just, like, don't stay in, like,

one position for a long time. It's really boring.

Just be like you guys did last time. A lot of energy.

Keep it really fresh like that. Hey, pretty girl.

If you're going to be distracting.

Oh, hey.

It's good to see you.

This is Marco.

Hi. Carmel.

This is Tani.

Hi. You want to watch the scene?

Okay. Come on. Right on over here.

All right, guys, we're all on the same page. We know what's going on.

All right, Tony, let's get you out of the scene.

All right,

guys.

And let's roll.

Quiet, please.

Run your hands down her body.

Don't be scared of her.

Good.

Now take off her pants. Yeah, there you go.

Good boy.

Everybody pull this cock out.

Hands up.

oh

You fucking cock.

Oh yeah, I can't wait to fucking choke on your cum.

Yeah.

Oh,

shit. Oh,

yeah.

God.

That's good.

You're not gonna do this.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you very much.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

I have to admit...

At first, watching two people having sex in front of me, licking, sucking, and

fucking, was shocking.

But 20 minutes into it, it lost most of its shock value, and I could tell it had

done the same for the crew.

Oh!

Look at that, you little bitch.

Yeah. Can you do that? Yeah.

Shit.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God. This is so good.

Yeah. Fucking hell. Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

Let me get this. Let me get this.

Yeah. You look fucking hot like a fucking dupes. Yeah.

Oh, shit.

Oh, my

God. Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Hey, Candy.

Hey, how are you? Candy Allison.

Allison Candy.

Hi. Hi.

So, I heard Denise is going to star in your next movie.

Well, you heard right.

Well, it's as easy as this.

If I don't star in a project, I don't be in the project.

Candy, you can't be the star in every project.

You know, I'm beautiful. I'm sexy.

I can dance. I can act.

I give phenomenal head.

I do double penetration.

interracial fetish i mean and now look denise she's a piece of work

coked out porn star and so is jennifer and cindy none of those girls are

as ambitious or as sexy as i am it's as simple as this if i'm not in the movie

and the star then i'm not doing the movie well then i simply won't shoot you

anymore whatever

Bye, Candy.

See,

what I learned is that pornography isn't the problem.

The deception is.

I'd had it all wrong.

And with Tom, I'd found in honesty I had an experience in my last relationship.

With him, there was no deception.

He worked with some of the most beautiful women in the world, but he

still wanted to be with me.

They didn't cause him to stray.

Suddenly, porn didn't seem so scary anymore.

I'm crying

Mmm.

Peace.

Yeah.

And...