Original subtitles

♪♪ [theme song]

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪

♪ They're the world's ♪

♪ Most fearsome fighting team ♪

We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes in the half shell ♪

♪ And they're green ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ When the evil Shredder attacks ♪

♪ These turtle boys don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Splinter taught them to be ninja teens ♪

He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads ♪

♪ Donatello does machines ♪

That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool, but rude ♪ Gimme a break.

♪ Michelangelo is a party dude ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪

[man on TV] Good evening, and welcome to educational television.

Tonight we are proud to present the award-winning documentary,

The Wonderful World of Plywood.

[all grumbling]

Master Splinter, why are we watching this totally dreary stuff?

Because, Michelangelo, one must always welcome

the opportunity to learn something new.

I already learned something-- I hate documentaries about plywood.

Hey, look. Alien Slime Monsters Go to College.

Now, that sounds educational.

Well, at least let's invite April over. She might want to join us.

A truly titanic thought wave, dude.

[Burne] You're probably wasting your time and this station's money, April.

Most of these U.F.O. sightings are bunk.

I know, but there might be a human-interest angle in it.

I called the reporter for the High Falls Gazette.

He's gonna meet me. Uh, so long, Chief.

[Turtle Com beeping] The Turtle Com!

April here. Hi, it's Leonardo.

Care to join us for some pizzas and educational TV?

Thanks, guys, but I'm headed upstate to a small town.

They reported some U.F.O. sightings.

Okay, but don't ask us to tell you how The Wonderful World of Plywood ended.

I promise not to. Hmm.

I sense some strange negative vibrations concerning April's mission.

U.F.O.s, huh? It's probably just swamp gas.

Nevertheless, I feel something strangely ominous.

In that case, maybe I'd better tag along and keep an eye on her.

Yeah, you just do that. Meanwhile, we'll rush out

and stoke up on pizza for the documentary.

Let's hope that doesn't taste like plywood too.

[April] “High Falls.” Hmm. This is the place.

[Leonardo] I don't want to freak out the local citizens.

I'll keep April in sight and myself out of sight.

How come they always see U.F.O.s in small towns like this,

never in Times Square. [rustling]

Oh, no! Wh-What's going on?

[shouts, grunts]

There's definitely something weird going on here.

Huh? [karate yell]

Never sneak up on a Ninja Turtle.

Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry, sir.

Sometimes I just don't know my own strength.

Oh, great. Flying saucers,

10-foot-tall corn, attacked by a scarecrow...

Whoever said it's peaceful in the country?

♪♪ [country-western]

Hi, I'm looking for a reporter

from the High Falls Gazette named Scoop Oliver.

A reporter, huh? “Scoop”?

So that's his name. Right over there.

Hey, Sheriff, I'm doing an exposé on the local crime wave.

Did you ever catch that kid who was stealing

those extra sprinkles over at the custard stand? Not yet, Scoop,

but we've got a state-wide manhunt going

with rocket fire and helicopters and killer dogs tracking him.

Are you Scoop Oliver? More java, sweetheart. I'm on a deadline.

I'm April O'Neil, Channel 6 news, and I don't do java.

Holy... April O'Neil! You really came!

Wow, what an honor!

I'm covering some reports of U.F.O. sightings.

Yeah, yeah, so you told me. But like I told you,

there's no such thing-- hogwash.

Now, just let me show you a real story.

I just happened to have my press scrapbook with me here.

Now, this was my biggest story.

“Bulldozer Stolen From Tractors-R-Us”? Fascinating.

Yo, Leonardo!

I guess he already left. This could be serious. What if he doesn't come back?

Donatello's right.

How do you divide 4 pizzas among 3 guys?

It's okay, Leonardo. Don't panic.

You're not lost. You're just a little, well...

[sighs] You're lost.

Now, think. How would Master Splinter handle

a situation like this?

He'd relax, he'd take a deep breath...

[inhales]

then he'd yell for help!

Turtles, I need you!

[static] Oh, just what I was afraid of! I'm out of range!

[gasps] A U.F.O.!

Come on, little fishies.

Grab on to Billy Jim Bob's hook like nice little fellas.

What in tarnation? More U.F.O.s?

These parts ain't no place for me.

[both groan]

[both] Aliens!

These aliens are big, strong,

and ugly as mud.

Then there was my first really big story--

“Man At Garage Sale Buys Garage.”

Great balls of fire!

The aliens are landin'! I seen of 'em face-to-face!

Sure, you did.

Now you'll tell us it was purple with yellow polka-dots.

No, green, with a blue mask. [all laughing]

A green face and a blue mask? Hmm.

Not again, Billy Jim Bob.

This is the third Martian you've seen this month.

But I did see one! Honest!

There's the Channel 6 news van!

Spaceship must've been comin' to pick up that poor little alien fella.

Oh, I hope I didn't hurt him none when I crashed into him.

Did you hear that, boys? There was a spaceship too!

[laughing]

Hold everything. That guy's no alien.

So what was that U.F.O. I saw?

I want you to tell me everything about this U.F.O.

Don't listen to him, Miss O'Neil.

Can't you see his grain elevator doesn't go to the top of the silo?

But I did see it! I tell you, I did!

I can't see! Whoa!

Oh, big, green aliens with hump backs and blue masks.

Give me a break!

But I saw one, I tell ya. I did!

And it looked just like this here photograph.

Why, this is a picture of the back window of this diner!

[all clamoring]

Miss O'Neil, we got to do something.

That there alien didn't try to hurt nobody.

And he looks just like a certain Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

named Leonardo!

I'd better get out of here while I still can!

Uh-oh. It's garbage pick-up time.

Whoa!

Now, just hold on a ding-dong minute!

Out of the way, Billy Jim Bob.

We're gonna catch us a Martian! [all clamoring]

Listen, if there is an alien out there,

it's probably just as scared of you as you are of it.

We ain't scared of nothin', lady. Now, step aside.

[all clamoring]

Dang blast it! The alien got away.

Maybe that there garbage truck frightened him off.

Scoop, you're not actually joining this mob, are you?

Are you kidding? You bet I am!

This alien's my ticket to the big time!

Come on, boys. Let's mobilize a search party.

[all clamoring]

Ain't you gonna join the hunt, Dr. Davens?

Hunting? For what? A Martian in a flying saucer.

No, but I hope you catch it. We will.

I'm going to do a little hunting of my own.

Leonardo, this is April. Come in, Leonardo.

Leonardo, please answer. I know you're in the area.

Leonardo, are you all right? What are you doing here?

Splinter sent me to keep an eye on you.

And I've been buzzed by a U.F.O.,

attacked by giant cornstalks, and kidnapped by a garbage truck!

It couldn't get much worse, April.

Oh, yes, it could. Everyone thinks you're a Martian alien.

Oh, great! Meet me where the mountain road crosses the highway,

and we'll figure a way out of this.

Right, April.

Whoa-oa!

Whoa!

[karate yells]

[chuckling] No-o-o!

No! Master Splinter, wake up!

You were having a nightmare.

You must find Leonardo and April at once.

They were headed for a rural town somewhere upstate.

Like, which one? They neglected to say.

Well, that should be a snap. There are only about 6,000 of them.

Let's not stand around wasting time.

Really, dude. Let's kick into a “hit the road” mode.

I wonder what's taking Leonardo so long.

Oh, he's finally here. Oh, he really should adjust those Turtle headlights.

Unless Donatello's been up to some major overhaul,

that's no Turtle Van.

[screaming] Help!

That's April's scream. I'd recognize it anywhere.

April, what's wrong? Aah!

It's that same U.F.O. again.

It's gone, April. It's safe to come out now. It's empty!

There's that alien now! Grab the little green varmint!

Only one way out, and that's up!

[cries out] It's up in that tree!

Yahoo! We got it trapped!

It won't get away this time.

Where'd it go? I can't see it. It's a tricky little nipper.

Sometimes being green has certain advantages.

Where could it have disappeared to?

It must've used its invisibility ray.

Look, there it goes. It's headed for Kelsey's barn.

[grunts] Going up.

It flew up into the hayloft!

I got a feeling a little hay fever would slow down these good old boys.

[clamoring]

Round up the trucks. He's headed for the pasture.

[grunts] Oh, what I wouldn't give

For a nice winding sewer right about now.

Okay, Clem, you take Jennings Creek.

Homer, you cut across Gordon's dairy. Archie, you follow Fred

along Highway 51.

Oh, if I can just make it across this pasture!

Uh-oh.

[snorts, moos]

Whoa-oa!

Hang on, Mr. Martian! I'm comin'!

Whoa! Gotcha!

Bury yourself in that hay, little green fella.

I'll get you out of here.

You got to be mighty hungry after all that chasin' around.

A pizza? How'd you know?

Shucks, I seen E.T. 11 times.

I know what aliens like to eat.

Now, look, I keep telling you, I am not an alien.

Oh, yeah? Then how come we're always being invaded by your spaceship?

[Leonardo] “Always”? You mean, you've seen it before?

Dozens of times. It always shows up on Hurley Mountain Road.

right next to old Doc Davens' farm.

Billy Jim Bob, let's get to Davens' farm, and fast!

Hang on, little green fella. We're about to bust a couple of speed laws.

If Splinter's dream is any sort of warning,

we'd better head upstate right now.

And that's what we're doing, as fast as this Turtle Blimp can get us there.

Come along, Miss O'Neil.

Dr. Davens, I strongly advise you to turn me loose!

So you can rush back to the big city and spread your story

about the Martians in High Falls?

No, thank you. My whole reason for building this fake U.F.O.

was to keep these snooping locals away

from my top-secret agri-genic research.

“Agri-genic research”?

[Dr. Davens] With this vita-ray beam gun,

I can increase the size of food crops astonishingly.

Watch.

[both cry out]

Imagine. With this single farm,

I can supply all the food our region would ever need.

I will be wealthy beyond all dreams.

But you'll also put every family of farmers in this state out of business.

C'est la guerre, Miss O'Neil.

And think of the ecological effect it will have.

All the dams will run dry supplying water to those voracious veggies.

Miss O'Neil, I'm losing my patience.

People like you have always stood in my way.

Well, you will interfere no longer.

Please, Dr. Davens, for the sake of everyone living in High Falls,

don't do this. Save your speeches, Miss O'Neil.

My agri-genic master plan will make me the wealthiest farmer on the planet.

[laughing maniacally]

I'm gonna see if my, uh, spaceship is okay.

Jeepers. If it's working, will you take me for a little spin?

Sure. Why not?

Jumpin' Jehosaphat!

I got me my very own personal E.T.

[knocking] April, over here.

Leonardo. Another nosy hayseed.

Take this!

[panting] I've got to get to that helicopter.

Oh, I hope he doesn't hit any ragweed with that thing.

I'm allergic.

I'm not sure if I can fly this thing.

[powering up] It's amazing what you can do if you have to.

Uh-oh. I'll have to do something about that.

Sorry. No hitchhikers.

Wait up, little fella. You promised me a ride in that thing.

You just can't trust nobody.

Well, he ain't gettin' away with it that easy,

or my name ain't Billy Jim Bob McJames.

[Michelangelo] Whoa. Upstate is “mondo” humongous.

We'll never find him this way.

Maybe Raphael will have better luck with Vernon at Channel 6.

But, Vernon, you've got to tell us where April was headed.

[chuckles] Sorry, green guys.

That information is strictly confidential. Company policy.

Vernon. Buddy. Pal.

We're sure something awful is happening to April.

Well, isn't that just too bad?

She knew the job was tough when she took it.

Listen, you scaly-skinned troublemakers.

That's telling 'em, Chief. You're saying April is in trouble?

She's in a town called High Falls,

about 90 miles north of here.

“High Falls.” Found it.

What are we waiting for, dude? Put the accelerator to the elevator.

What are you doing? Turning on your vita-ray beam gun.

No! If they find out

about my super vegetables, they'll try to stop me!

That's just why I'm doing it.

Wait up! I want to be your friend!

There it goes. After it, boys. Don't let it get away.

[all screaming]

[gasping]

What an incredible story--

“The Attack of The Mutant Tomatoes”! Oh, it's already been done.

That'll buy me some time. Now to get back to the farm and rescue April.

Whoa! Bogey 'mato at 3:00!

Could've been worse. Could've been broccoli.

Uh-oh. Time to bail out. And me without a parachute.

Jump, little fella. I'll catch ya.

I feel like Leonardo and the Beanstalk.

This is getting repetitious. But who's complaining?

I wish sure you'd phone home and tell your Martian buddies

to quit nourishing our crops.

Ooh, it's not me!

Dr. Davens is doing this, and he's got my friend, April!

[gasps] She's a Martian too?

Well, hush my puppies.

Billy Jim Bob, read my lips.

I am not a Martian. I'm a turtle.

A turtle? [chuckles]

No way. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, you know.

I wouldn't kid you! I'm not from another planet!

Uh, right. And I suppose those ain't

your fellow aliens in that mother ship neither.

[Michelangelo] Yo, Leonardo!

You been whipping up a pizza sauce that got a little out of hand?

Oh, am I glad to see you fellas. We've got to rescue April.

Well, the only way to do that is with...

[all] Turtle power!

[Dr. Davens] So, Miss O'Neill,

it appears your little scheme has backfired.

Soon my giant crops will destroy every building in the county,

along with the people who occupy them.

So much for the theory that vegetables are good for you.

[laughing]

And you call yourself a doctor.

[Raphael] Doc, I sure hope you make house calls,

because your next address will be in the Big House.

The Turtles! More blasted intruders!

[April] Look out behind you, guys!

[all] Whoa!

[crying out]

Green on green, my favorite color scheme.

You got to stop him before he destroys the entire town!

Not to worry, April. The dude won't get far.

Stop. What are you doing? I can't see.

Did you get Davens?

Actually, his giant vegetables made him promise

to turn over a new leaf-- spinach, I believe.

What gratitude. I raised them

from little sprouts, and they turned on me.

That's okay. The only vegetables you'll be seeing for a long time

will be the ones in the prison mess hall!

[Donatello] Well, with that growth ray turned off,

those giant veggies will soon be back to normal.

That's good. It'll make it easier to find the Turtle Van.

Wait a minute. Aliens, come back! You're my big story!

Shucks, don't feel bad.

They wasn't really masked Martians anyway.

They weren't? Heck, no.

Why, they was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Oh, no!

From now on, I'll take my flying saucers on TV.

Where's Raphael?

He's in the kitchen whipping up a U.F.P. in your honor.

Uh, don't you mean a “U.F.O.”?

Nope, I mean a U.F.P.--

unidentified flying pizza. Whoa!

It could stand some vegetables, dude.

Did you say “vegetables”?

Oh, count me out.

♪♪ [theme]

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA