Original subtitles

You got to see this, buddy.

It's almost done, bro.

Rick, are you going to dig or jack off?

Do I really have to answer that?

How many times have you had sex with Jenny today?

Only two, three actually.

You know, if you put half the effort into this dig as you do into your dick,

we would have proven our theories.

All in good time, good buddy.

All in good time.

Rick, get over here.

What do you got?

Phillip, is that what I think it is?

Oh, my God.

It's intact.

It's fully intact.

Yeah. Get Jenny.

Jenny, come in, Jenny.

Go for Denny. Yeah, you got to get over here right now code red and bring along

I'm with you now.

Oh my god. I'll be right there

Hey,

you gotta see this is fully intact really great Like this.

You didn't have to get so dressed up on my account.

No.

Thanks for your help.

Sure.

I'd love to see you in that, honey.

This could be a really important discovery.

Let me see it.

This isn't so unusual.

What are you thinking?

It doesn't belong in the same layer.

Something's wrong.

Oh my God, Debbie, this could be it.

Let's go to the tent and check it out.

It may be a bit early to celebrate, but I'd say we have a match to the same pots

that B-Team is digging up in the Mojave.

That helps me celebrate early for good luck.

Oh, are you trying to take advantage of me, Dr. Gormitz?

It's too early to call California time.

Get up.

What's up with you?

We got a dip in your ass today, Phillip.

Plenty of shit, Rex.

You should get up for this.

What, negative day on the pot?

No.

Son of a bitch, no.

That's proof we got it.

Pre-Columbian Native Americans have been trading across the Pacific for 2,000

years or more.

We have proof, if it ever gets out.

What are you talking about?

Our funding just died.

What do you mean? Dr. Ramsfield just left here yesterday with an extension.

Dr. Ramsfield is bankrupt.

Shit. Yes, most certainly shit. We've made the biggest discovery in the last

20 years and we're going to scratch the eight ball, buddy.

So let's go get refunded.

Shouldn't we contact A-Team in Tahiti?

Don't the girls need to know about this?

April, this is Phillip.

Phillip, we found a messy shard at our site.

So did we.

That's great.

How's Debbie?

She's great. We made love under the moon to celebrate.

That's great.

What's going on, Phillip?

Our funding is gone.

If we can't get funded, we'd lose our discovery.

And another team comes in and gets the research done. And claims credit for

three years of our hard work.

Three years of blood, sweat, and tears.

Digging, scraping, scoring our flesh in this miserable ground.

Getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and leeches lived in for nothing.

For absolute nothing.

We won't even get one sentence published.

Not even in the funny pages.

No one will publish our work.

It sucks.

Now I really need some sex.

I'm serious, Rex.

I'm really depressed.

I need some good hard sex.

but I have visitors in a few moments.

What are you talking about?

We're done.

We're out of here.

I guided a surfer to you.

A surfer?

What is a surfer going to do for us?

He has money.

Is he willing to give it up?

He's looking for a perfect wave.

Philip here.

You better talk fast, April, because we've got about two minutes left on our

prepaid plans for these satellite phones.

What?

A surfer?

What the hell are you talking about?

Look, I won't discount your effort, but I'm going to keep packing.

Goodbye, April.

So we give them a little girl-girl show.

Oh, guys, we love that.

It's stupid. It's like a college game.

Exactly. We had the frat boys in tears. They could look, but no touchy. Oh, come

on, it'll work.

A peep show is worth $100,000.

Okay, so we give them free peep shows for life.

We use mud, oil.

You know, guys like that.

The dirty blondes live again, just like the old days.

Thank you.

You're welcome to stay as long as you like.

I won't be staying here. We love visitors.

Yeah, you must stay.

We've effectively proven that Native Americans have been trading with the

people of these islands for 2,000 years.

Do I look interested?

What are you interested in, Joe?

Waves. Just waves?

Perfect waves.

Is that all?

Do you mean your silly little girl show?

Funny you should stumble upon that.

Bit of a tease, isn't it? What do you mean?

What if I stumbled upon the perfect wave and I couldn't ride it?

You could watch it all the time. I could masturbate all the time, too, couldn't

I? Besides, maybe there are better fish to catch.

And you have no interest in studies that could preserve ancient cultures?

Ladies, my father was a great explorer who was eaten by the primitive cultures.

I'm sorry.

Not as much as I.

Maybe it's not what you think.

It's exactly what I think. You have to get angry about it.

Ladies, if you need money, go to the bank. Because all my millions can't buy

me the perfect wave. And that's all I care about. Thank you for dinner.

Good night.

Sister for Joe is a no-go.

Should I act surprised?

There's got to be a way to keep us alive.

You know, I hate to sound defeatist, but we're dry out here in the wasteland.

I got to tell you, Phillip, I'd screw this guy for the money, and you know me.

I'm gay with a vengeance.

I wouldn't ask you to do that no matter what, sister.

I appreciate the thought.

We'll clean up and meet you in L.A.

We can always take teaching jobs.

Somehow I don't see us doing the 9 to 5 gig, and I don't want to break up our

team. We're really good.

I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel, sis.

I wish our surfer boy, Mr. Joe Torrance, wasn't such an asshole.

Joe Torrance?

Yeah, Mr. Endless Summer Rich Boy, who could give a shit about anything else.

Hell, Phillip, we gave him a sex show, and he didn't even blink.

Joe Torrance.

What are you thinking, big brother?

By any chance, is he the son?

Of Dr.

Joseph Torrance, the ethnologist who was eaten in Borneo?

That would be our boy.

What the hell is he doing in Tahiti?

What was that? I didn't copy.

Over. April, we may have just found something here.

We found a piece of an old journal in one of the holes.

It's signed Dr.

J. Torrance.

What? Well, do you know of any other academics with those initials that would

be at this site?

Strange. Hey, April.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

I don't think Joe was looking for the perfect wave.

He's hunting for Daddy.

Or what remains of him.

Well, maybe that's why he's so uptight. Maybe he's not such an asshole after

all. Listen, go back to your site. Look for anything.

Anything that would indicate Dr. Torrance was there as well.

If you can find something, we may be able to appeal to Joe's sentiment.

I suggest you hunt for the rest of that journal.

Copy that.

Good luck, little sister.

Over and out.

Man, it's gotta be here somewhere.

I have a feeling we're like standing right on top of it. I don't know.

What's this?

Find anything yet?

Not a thing.

Come with.

Keep the great dream real low to the ground.

We need to talk.

We don't have time.

That's very true.

The village elders want another payment, or you must go.

We may have something.

They have given you until tomorrow.

Is there anything you can do?

I have tried everything, April.

Great. Now we're working against the ticking clock.

We have one day to convince Surfer Boy to keep us alive here.

Maybe there is one more thing I can try.

I think you should help these women.

I have no interest in these women.

Are you interested in me?

thank you

you

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

But I feel something.

Oh, my God. Guys.

What do you got? What do you got? This is it.

Oh, shit. Is that the journal? Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Wow. Careful.

I can't believe this.

Oh, man. Look at this.

The entire handwriting is so bad, it could take weeks to decipher.

It's like Arabic.

We don't have weeks.

Yeah, like two hours.

Get cracking.

The best I can make out is that Joe's father was here.

He was basically trying to prove exactly what we've been working on.

Oh my God.

Here's where it gets so garbled.

I can't really make it out. There's something here about a feather

expedition. A second team that was trying to meet Dr. Torrance in

discovery. What, like some sort of...

So what are we looking for?

Where'd you get that?

Let me see. It was here.

Dr. J.

Torrance.

Is that her?

Yeah.

When did you get this?

It was up here.

How did you get here?

Laka!

She's gone. I cannot find her.

She must know something.

Let's go.

So that's our theory.

Your father was trying to prove exactly what we are.

And you think this bad archaeologist killed him?

That's what the evidence points to.

Well, that's not what history says.

My father was eaten by the natives.

Joe, we just need funding for more time. We can prove this.

Well, I'm not doing anything for the natives.

They ate my father.

Have a nice trip home, ladies.

I must go back to Russia.

Without his work, I don't have a choice.

This can't be goodbye.

You want to say goodbye?

I have to.

Where'd this come from?

Waka, maybe?

We found this at the site. It was your father's.

He wasn't killed by the natives.

You're wrong.

It's all their joke. The natives were protecting him.

Why? There was this archaeologist, Mordecai.

Drake Mordecai? Yeah.

Dr. Drake Mordecai?

That's the one.

My uncle?

What? My uncle, Drake Mordecai. He was your uncle?

What does this have to do with anything?

Your father was killed by an arch rival. It was made to seem like he was eaten by

cannibals, but he wasn't.

This is pathetic.

You created this crap to get my money.

No, it's not.

Read the journal. It's all there.

You could have made this yourself.

Pull your head out of your ass, Joe, and listen. This is the truth.

So who's supposed to kill my father?

I'm waiting.

Dr. Drake Mordecai. My uncle killed my father?

You two are sick.

Philip for April, over.

Now is not a good time, Philip.

Listen, April.

Not now, Philip. It's a very bad time.

April, shut up for once.

You need to know this.

When you talk to Joe...

How much do you need?

Yes!

All right.

That's great.

Oh, God.

Oh, yes.

That is just what I wanted you to hear. All right. Guys, I need some victory sex

right now.

I'm serious.

You're up, bud.

I've popped six nuts today already, so this is all yours.

All right.

Thank you.