Original subtitles

Dear journal,

something happened last night.

I can't talk about it yet, not even in here,

but it changed everything.

♪ Crying ♪

♪ On the edge of my bed ♪

Lisa.

Oh, I didn't think anybody would be up.

Me? Always.

Sorry I ruined your lunch yesterday.

You didn't.

No. Tano was so angry.

Don't worry. I'm gonna apologize today.

For what? His anger is his, not yours.

Yeah, but I'm already down one brother, Manu.

I can't lose two.

You're not gonna lose Tano.

You and he are like Gia and Cesco.

Gia and Cesco are twins.

Biologically. You two are twins emotionally.

You have one heart.

Yeah, well, I think I broke it.

Then you have to let it heal.

Lisa.

What are you writing?

Lisa, what are you writing?

What are you writing?

Shut up!

You shut up!

No, you shut up!

Stop it!

Mom, she hit me!

After you spit on me.

I don't care! I've had it with both of you!

One more word, I will pack a bag and leave.

No.

Stop lying.

What?

You won't leave.

You always say you will, but you never do.

Lisa!

Lisa?

What are you thinking?

That I wish I'd had your wisdom when I was 15.

I had no wisdom when you were 15.

I was five.

Now I'm thinking I hate you.

Would you like some more tea?

Yes. I would love.

Thank you.

It's not just about you finding out, Tano.

I know.

Do you?

Because if you are her father, that changes everything.

It already has.

For you, but Ellie's 15.

Her whole identity is in flux right now.

Do you really want to pile onto that with-

Maybe it won't be a bad thing.

Maybe she's like Lisa was at her age

and knowing she's not an actual psychopath,

that it's genetic, might help her.

So you're doing this for Ellie?

Her, me...

I don't know.

I'm just not the kind of guy

that fathers a kid and walks away.

Except I guess I am.

What are you doing?

My friend Sam.

You met him at my birthday party last year.

I did?

Yes. The two of you bonded over some Italian soccer team.

- Oh, AC Milan. Yeah, a great guy. - Why?

And a great family lawyer. I just sent you his contact.

Give him a call. Tell him the whole story.

He'll know what to do.

I don't need a lawyer.

Oh, you do.

I'm sure Sarah's already reached out to hers.

And after you call,

check if I can switch my return flight for one today.

I'm not sure I can bear two days

debriefing with your family.

Around midnight.

Yeah, me too.

I'll talk to you later. Bye.

It was Dave, wanted to know how your mom was doing.

Where were you?

Having tea with Manu.

You know I hate tea.

That's why it's coffee.

Thank you.

Mhm.

I just booked a flight out of LAX for 3:42.

Lucky. I think my teen acne's coming back.

You're all right.

Mm.

Don't go.

Hang in there.

Aldo, did you get any sleep at all?

When you are better, I will sleep.

I am better. I am better.

I love you, Ella. I love you.

I love you.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What for?

I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. Everything.

Oh, no.

Everything I'm sorry.

Shh, shh. It's all right.

That's not important now.

Just sleep.

Just sleep.

Dr. Olmedo texted back.

She got Mom an appointment for an endocrinologist.

That's great.

On January 11th. That's three weeks away.

I'm losing my mind now. It's been two days.

Then send them home.

I can't send them home. They're my parents.

Then put on your big boy pants and deal with it.

We're on a private charter through Atlanta.

I didn't know what you wanted to wear,

so I left a few things out.

Darling, I said I want to go.

I didn't mean you had to go.

I know.

Wanna make sure Mira's up?

We should leave by nine.

Look at you. You look a hundred percent better.

Shh. Your father is still sleeping.

He was up all night worrying.

Can you say goodbye for me?

Goodbye? I thought you were staying 'til Tuesday.

Change of plans.

Is that because of Lisa?

No, Mom. Please don't blame Lisa.

This is my mess. I made it.

You're such a good boy, Tano.

You've always been such a good boy.

Tell dad I had to go.

No, no. You tell him yourself.

Aldo.

What?

Aldo.

What's wrong? Hey, are you sick?

Tano is here to say goodbye.

Goodbye? Where are you going?

Home, Dad. I've got some shit to deal with.

Shit is right, huh?

Just make sure it's your kid before you give her money.

Dad, I can handle this. I'm a grown man.

I'm almost an old man.

Old, my ass. At your age, I was in my prime.

I'm not you.

You guys take care of each other.

I love you.

I love you too.

- I like that one. - Oh, yeah.

- See, that one looks good. - My hair's blue.

Yep, but now look at your nose.

Oh, it's, yeah, yeah. - Botched, right?

Where is everyone?

Uhm... dad is on a run, Mom is on the phone with Abuelita,

and, uh, Cesco is probably having Zoom sex

with a random Insta fan.

It's a thing.

Well, that's disturbing.

Did Tano and Nisha go out?

No. They left for the airport.

What?

I stayed behind. In protest.

Tano! What, now? You just leave

without saying goodbye?

You and I don't do that, Tano! We don't do that!

That's the kind of asshole stuff that Dino and Marco pull.

Not you!

I-

I love you. Call me.

I'm an asshole?

A Dino-level asshole?

No, I just said that to-

To make Tano think that what you did was okay?

Because now it's you and him against me?

No!

You know what? You're just like Mom.

You think you're the peacemaker,

playing all sides to the middle.

That's not what I was doing.

But you know what?

You're the asshole, Lisa. You're the asshole. Not me.

She hasn't said a word to me in two weeks.

She barely even looks at me.

Maybe I should just leave.

Why would you leave?

Because she might not hate it enough to go, but I do.

Where would you go?

Minneapolis.

Oh my God. Yes!

Coolest city ever!

I can meet Prince. He'd totally be friends with me.

Oh my God. Can you imagine if the two of you fell in love?

I'd be a princess.

What would you do for money?

I've got like $600.

No way. How?

Christmases, birthdays.

It's enough to get me there and keep me going

until I find a job.

What would you do?

Babysit. Duh.

I mean, I do it every day now, only for free,

'cause “you don't get paid for being part of a family, Lisa”.

I love when you do your mom. You sound just like her.

We should do it.

What?

Run away. Us three. Together.

I mean, think about it.

No more indentured servitude. No more empty vodka bottles.

No more praying to the sacred heart of Jesus.

That would be epic.

I-I don't know.

Beth, we're being raised by freaks.

It's like practically child abuse.

Yeah, I mean, can you imagine finally being free?

Free, free, free.

Free, free, free, free,

free, free, free, free!

[Younger Ella] Quiet, down in there!

So. Are we doing it?

We're doing it.

We're doing it.

Yes!

♪ You're mine, even if only tonight ♪

♪ Get in the car and drive ♪

♪ Anywhere you wanna go ♪

Li, we were just gonna call you!

We? Who's we?

Hey, girl!

Oh, oh my God!

I forgot you guys were doing Christmas together.

You forgot? So you were calling Beth without me?

Were you gonna talk about me?

Absolutely. What else would we talk about?

Oh you must have sensed I'm in hell.

Oh, that means the wicked witch Matt's mom is still there.

All week!

Oh, but the good news is

it's not just Matt's life that Beth has ruined.

It's the kids' too.

Okay. - Ugh.

You gals sound kind of drunk.

Kinda drunk? - We're pretty drunk.

How goes it at the Giordanos'?

Oh, God. Just not enough words in the dictionary.

Aw. - Oh.

Oh, is it weird without Bill?

No, because he's here.

What?

Yeah. Long story for a different day.

The reason I called,

and I know that we said we wouldn't talk about this,

but I really wanna talk about

our run-away weekend in high school.

Oh, I gotta go. Matt’s mom...

you know, it's... It's dinner.

We'll talk soon though, okay? Love you!

Love you, bye. - Bye!

You have to call her back.

No, I don't.

At least check the message.

What if something happened to your mom?

Marco would call.

Okay, but do you really want to-

She's been lying to me for 16 years, Nish.

Every time she saw me, every time we talked.

I know, but-

She took away my chance at being a father.

No, she did not.

You’ve had thousands of chances to be a father

in the past 15 years.

You said you didn't want that.

Or... did you just not want it with me?

That's my kind of breakfast.

Ella. Good morning.

How are you feeling?

Not too bad today.

I'd be better with a slice of that cake.

Ah. Coming up.

Why are you and Lisa divorcing?

Okay. Cutting right to the chase.

Well, I am old, Bill. I don't have time to waste.

She says you don't make each other happy,

but I... I see you together.

You seem happy.

You love each other.

We do. Just, sometimes, that's not enough to keep going.

Of course it's enough. It's more than enough.

The trouble is you think it's all about your marriage.

It is our marriage.

Yes, but your problem is mine.

Aldo and I,

I am sure you've heard, it was no fairytale.

And all her life, Lisa has tried to

show me how wrong I am

for putting up with things I shouldn't.

I'm not sure I follow you.

She's finding unhappiness in your marriage

because I wouldn't look for it in mine.

Now give me that cake.

Good morning.

Hey. Good morning, Marco.

Cake for breakfast?

Mom?

What? I almost died.

I'm celebrating.

Where's Dad?

Sleeping. He was up all night last night.

I hope to God he isn't crabby today.

Because he was so cheery yesterday.

Coffee? - Yes, please.

Hey, Mom. How are you feeling?

Pretty good.

And how are you doing?

Better, but, you know, I just realized-

That you have to say you're sorry?

For what?

Attacking me.

Oh, God. Him too?

I didn't attack you, baby.

Don't call me baby.

Well, if the baby shoe fits...

Guys, come on, you gotta-

Stay out of it, Bill. This is between me and my sister.

Are you joking? You're being rude to Bill now?

Yeah, well, he might as well.

He's rude to everybody all the time.

You know, I came down here to tell you I was sorry,

but you know what?

I'm not.

Of course not, because you always think you're right.

You wanted to have a kid?

What?

You said that we could have had a kid,

but I didn't want to.

Did you?

There's no point in asking that now...

Did you?

Yes. I would've loved to have a child with you.

You never told me that.

Well, you never asked.

Tano, what are you...

Asking.

You are the love of my life, Nish.

Marry me.

This isn't the time, Tano. It just isn't.

You're right. I should have done this 15 years ago.

Sir, you need to get up and take your seat.

I'm stuck.

You know what I think?

I don't know who you-

How long have they been at it?

About five minutes. But, they're on phase two though.

Oh, great.

What's phase two?

Politics.

Giordano arguments have about three phases.

Phase one. Get super personal.

It's almost always childhood stuff

and usually involves Dino.

Phase two. Go political.

Which can last hours while the kids starve!

And then there is phase three. Where they usually make up.

Which might happen after phase two,

or it might take up to a month.

It can take up to a year. Yeah, that's the record.

Wow, that is-

Pathetic?

Nutso?

Amazing.

Everyone fighting for who they are and what they believe.

I would kill for that family.

It must be so nice to look down on everybody

from your perfect little life.

I'm sorry you don't have a life anymore.

That is your fault.

You come into my house and you start pulling this-

Hey, what the hell is going on here?

Aldo, you woke up!

Of course I woke up. They are loud.

Well, who do they get that from, I wonder?

Make me a coffee.

Could you ask?

Make me a coffee.

Lungo or ristretto?

Lungo, lungo.

Mom said you didn't sleep last night, Dad.

Of course I didn't sleep. None of you should have slept.

Your mother almost died.

What? What do you mean?

So they should all get sick? You're ridiculous.

Good news.

Ella has an appointment to see a specialist on the 11th.

Of January?

Mhm-hm.

Oh, the 11th?

I don't think we could go home and come back by then.

What, go home? We stay here.

Aldo, here? These people have lives.

♪ Hiding ♪

♪ Holding onto now ♪

♪ Creeping ♪

♪ Shadowed by the door ♪

What took you so long?

I just kept checking to make sure they're still asleep.

Where's the taxi?

Down the block.

Come on. Our bus leaves at midnight.

Six and a half hours to freedom.

Free, free, free, free,

free, free, free, free, free, free, free.

Okay. Come on.

What people? They're family.

Don't worry about it, Mom.

Manu and I talked about it. You're staying.

Well, I'm glad you talked it over,

but you should have talked to me because I'm leaving!

I'll stay.

What?

You will?

Yeah, yeah. It'll be fun.

We'll hang out. We'll go... we'll watch movies.

I'll take you to lunch.

That would be fun!

- Perfect. - You can't.

I mean, I mean, there has to be

something you have to do back in New York.

No, I don't-I don’t have a life anymore. Remember?

If she wants to stay, she'll stay.

It's my house too.

Ah. Now we know who wears the pants in the family.

Everyone has worn pants everywhere

for 80 years, Signor Aldo.

And if you're gonna be here with us,

please don't say things that hurt your son.

I was joking.

I know.

What?

Please don't do this.

Just take me to jail.

We don't put kids like you in jail. Jail's a hellhole.

This will be worse.

Lisa, what are you-

Why is she not in her bed?

Are you all right?

Where were you?

Your daughter's fine.

She and her friends were picked up

at the bus station in Madison.

Madison? - Madison?

What the hell were you doing in Madison?

Sir. - Running away from you!

Has your daughter gone crazy?

Aldo.

No. The crazy people are the ones who stay.

Lisa, come inside.

No. I'd rather go to jail.

Lisa!

You keep letting him hurt you. Why don't you just leave?

Hurt her? What kind of nonsense are you talking about?

You know! You know!

Ma'am, is your husband hurting you?

No, officer.

My daughter is a very dramatic teenager

who doesn't understand that couples argue.

So... we're sure everyone's safe here?

Of course everything's safe. This is our home.

Why don't you go arrest some criminals instead of-

Thank you, officer, for bringing our daughter home.

You gonna be okay?

Yeah.

You are in very big trouble.

Go inside.

What?

Go inside.

Come sit.

Why?

Just ground me. You're gonna anyway.

Come.

Look at me.

I know you think I'm weak

and you're trying to show me how to be strong,

but you don't know the whole story.

You only know what you see.

I see that you're unhappy.

Yes. Some days.

Okay, let's face it.

These days, most days.

But life isn't always being happy, Lisa.

It's surviving.

Being able to get through the most difficult times.

Yeah, I know. The war.

You can't understand.

Your father and I came from very different lives

than what you and your brothers have.

And he has made me happy

many, many more times than he has ever made me unhappy.

I'm sorry I haven't let you see that.

But...

This isn't just to do with me and your dad, is it?

Oh, honey, what is it? You can tell me.

It's okay.

Whatever it is, it will all be okay.

You will see.

Why are you mad at me?

Because you let him talk that way.

He's talked that way for 80 years, Manu.

I'm not gonna change him.

It's bad for the children.

No, it's not. They know who he is.

I'm scared.

Of what?

Them, Marco.

They come here for a week,

and it's two weeks that you're crazy we argue,

Sal doesn't behave,

but after, we go back to us, we're good, I mean...

Right, 'cause we're good together.

But three weeks? Or more? With Lisa here,

and all of you always fighting,

we won't be us for a month.

Well, we won't fight then.

Okay, yeah, that's not gonna happen. I'll try not to.

I promise, and if things get too crazy,

we can always come up here, lock the door, and be us.

My love.

That "us"? Won't be until long after they're gone.

Hey.

Hey.

You know,

you don't have to stay.

Yeah, but I might as well.

I never really get away anyway.

What's going on?

Ugh.

You know, something scary happened when I was a kid,

and my mom, she was there for me,

and she's scared now so I wanna be here for her.

It's my turn.

Okay.

I'd better get going.

Don't rent a place. Ours is empty.

Yeah, but you're coming back.

I mean, it might be a month or... I don't know,

'til mom gets the all clear, and then I might wanna travel.

I mean, the only real joy I've ever known is with you.

Oh, Lisa, you can't-

It's not fair. To you or me.

I need to find my joy. And I know it's not in New York.

Why are you laughing?

Because you're the one who wanted to move there.

A lifetime ago!

Call me when you get there.

Always.

All right, you.

Mhm..

Be safe.

All right. Get outta here.

♪ Ain't no rain drops on roses ♪

♪ Can't find no four-leaf clover ♪

♪ Lucky horseshoes are wasting my time ♪

♪ Got me no superstitions ♪

♪ On those stars that I'm wishing ♪

♪ 'Cause the journey I'm making is on the inside ♪

♪ Changing don't ever come easy ♪

♪ But I'm willing to try ♪

♪ So don't hold me back ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm ready to go ♪

Lisa!

We're ready to go to lunch!

Yes.

Yes what? I didn't ask you any-

Wait a minute. Are you saying...

Yes.

Really?

Yes!

I'm gonna spend the rest of my life making you happy.

You better.

So shall we go straight off to India

or wait and take Mira with us?

What?

We need to tell my parents.

We can't do that over the phone.

Has he called?

No.

Maybe his flight was delayed.

Maybe outta sight, outta mind.

Is that him?

Yes.

Is it good?

Two Xs.

See? You're not out of his mind.

I guess not.

You'll find your way back.

I'll be out in a sec!

You said that 10 minutes ago!

Perfection requires the hands of time.

Camus?

♪ You and I above the city lights ♪

Voltaire.

Oh my God.

♪ High, we don't need the air to stay alive ♪

Wow.

♪ Because we got that ♪

Wow.

♪ Fire in our bones, taking off on the road ♪

♪ Here we go, oh, oh ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ We got that fire in our soul ♪

♪ A little out of control ♪

Merry Christmas. ♪ Here we go, oh, oh ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

The merriest.

(glasses clinking.

♪ It's time to open up the shades ♪

♪ Look in the mirror and decide ♪

♪ If the way I have behaved ♪

♪ Is enough to satisfy ♪

♪ Like a baby bird ♪

♪ Spreads her wings to fly ♪

♪ I might fall down, but I'll never stop trying ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ I swear today ♪

♪ Will be the last ♪

♪ Day that I live ♪

♪ Present in the past ♪

♪ My present in the past ♪

♪ Make friends with change ♪

♪ Maybe she'll help ♪

♪ me to make friends with myself ♪

♪ I swear today ♪

♪ Will be the last ♪

♪ Day that I live ♪

♪ My present in the past ♪

♪ I'll make friends with change ♪

♪ Maybe she'll help ♪

♪ me to make friends with myself ♪

♪ Yeah ♪