Original subtitles

Here are the people of the city,

which once bore the French name of Aix-la-Chapelle.

These are ordinary Germans, whose sons and husbands

carried war across the face of Europe

to bring disaster back to their own doorstep.

Gisela.

Peter.

These enemy guns all around us

are just simply hammering at those planes.

But so far, I haven't seen anything.

Don't see any of them hit.

But the bundles are coming down.

Mama?

Papa?

Mama!

Papa!

Are you okay?

What?

Dad?

Hey, Dad!

What?

Mom's speaking German.

She does that in her sleep.

She's awake.

And I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm her grandma.

Ella.

Okay. I will pull off at the next exit.

For what?

Seriously?

Hey! Merry Christmas!

Hi.

Oh.

I'm so glad you're here.

Me too.

Sorry about the last minute change up.

AKA me.

Are you kidding? It's great.

Now the whole family is here.

Well, not the whole family, Dad.

Uncle Dino's not here.

Uh, just go put Nisha and Tano's bags in your room.

We're taking your room?

Oh, yeah. Sal loves company.

Let me take your stuff to my room.

You're good with a trundle, right?

Yeah, I love a good trundle.

Gia, that's so sweet.

Uh, guys, no. Mira can stay with us.

No. - No.

Why would she stay with you?

Oh, Tano's just worried I'll attack Gia in her sleep.

Oh my gosh. No, he's not that boomie.

Are you that boomie?

That and then some.

How have you been doing?

Merry Christmas, bro.

Yeah, right.

You know what you need?

A drink.

A game of H-O-R-S-E.

Oh, right.

'Cause you're like, what? A thousand games behind?

Oh, like 250 at the most,

but I was three feet tall when that all happened?

Come on, game on.

Marco, I... Game on!

Okay. - Yes!

96.

That's normal.

In what world?

Our world. We are old.

She's fine.

This is fine to you?

Dad, go get some water. And get a cup.

A cup? For what?

She not gonna drink out of a bottle. She thinks it's 1944.

Oh, don't wave at them!

Why not?

Those aren't nice kids, Dad!

Says who?

Says anyone who looks at them!

What? What?

They're kids, eh? You, your liberal bullshit!

Mom, Ella "commen".

God, is that even a word?

Why did I not take German in high school?

Yeah. Yeah.

Ella.

You've reached Tano Jordano with-

Shit!

Leave a message.

Marco, it's me!

Where are you guys?

Man, you were serious.

Like a damn heart attack.

Okay, why is she calling?

I told her... Oh, who cares, man?

Don't!

Hello.

Hi, it's me.

I know that you don't want to talk to me,

but my brothers aren't picking up,

and my Mom's in some sort of fugue state.

She's only talking German.

She thinks I'm her grandmother.

Where are you? - I don't know.

We're at some gas station in Upland

or Fontana or some fucking place.

And there are these kids, and they keep looking at me.

And my dad has $20,000 cash in the trunk.

What?

To give to the grandkids for Christmas.

They're going.

They're leaving.

Thank God.

God, they smashed the taillight.

Do not get out of the car.

I can't get out of the car!

My mom's head is in my lap.

It'll be okay.

How do you know that? You can't know that.

This is so fucked up.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called.

It's fine. - I'm okay.

They're gone.

Are you sure you're... I'm fine. Bye.

Let me guess...

Don't.

Come on, man. She knows you.

She's playing into your whole savior thing.

Oh, no.

This...

This isn't that.

I know her too.

Yeah, she's messed up.

But her mom is-

Is no longer your problem.

You're getting divorced, right?

Right.

You are absolutely right.

What took you so long?

Had to go to the bathroom.

Your little buddies broke the taillight.

What?

Come on, we gotta go.

Then let's go!

You staying back there?

You wanna switch?

No, no, no, no, no. You take care of your mother.

I will drive.

Be careful.

Careful?

Who do you think you're talking to?

I drove Ella to the hospital when she was having you.

Yeah.

Look how that turned out.

Wait, so, Sarah has a kid who's 15-ish?

Yep.

Oh...

Damn.

When did you two split up?

15 years, 11 months ago.

Well, you can't really know without-

She looks exactly like the pictures of Mom at that age.

Shit.

Game over.

Maybe her dad looks like Tano.

Maybe Sarah is one of those people

who choose the same type over and over-

You didn't see her face.

It was all there, Manu.

And now he's searching Facebook?

Okay, say she is his daughter.

So what?

So what?

Have you met Tano?

His life's blood is obligation.

But his life's joy is you.

Nothing will change that.

That hook shot.

You're lucky.

That's pent-up skill.

You won?

I buried this old guy.

Oh, no, darling.

Was just a game of horse, Nish, not the Iditarod.

I need a shower.

I was joking.

Tano!

Hey, Tano?

How long has she been like this?

Like what?

In pain, lapsing into German.

How the hell do I know?

How could you not know?

I mean, you're with her every day.

You see her every day.

When are married 58 years, you can ask me that, huh?

For now, take care of your mother.

Something happens to her, my life is over.

This is the best thing ever.

I know, right?

I cannot believe you've never seen "Botched" before.

Yeah, well, I live a very sheltered

boarding school existence.

So, is Tano really not cool with who you are?

No, he's fine.

At least on a macro level.

But now, up and personal, with his family...

You're his family too.

Not really.

I mean, I love Tano.

He's pretty much been my Disneyland dad

since I can remember,

but he and my mom aren't really together together.

Like, she doesn't live with him.

Yeah, that's so weird.

And it keeps getting weirder.

Just today, I was at my Dad's for Christmas,

with him and my stepmom, and then my Mom just texts me,

"Mira, you need to get on a plane to LA, now!

I need you!"

Oh my gosh.

I mean, I was totally fine with it,

'cause I hate my stepmom, but seriously, why would she-

My grandparents, probably.

Lisa, my dad, Tano, they go crazy around them.

My dad literally goes psycho like a week before.

My mom's the same way with my grandparents too.

Every time we go to India, she's totally manic.

Oh my God. Is that her nose?

Yeah.

Ew.

It's okay.

Is she all right?

I don't know!

She needs a doctor.

What doctor? You know a doctor in Rancho Cucamonga?

No, but there's Huntington Hospital.

It's what, 30 minutes from here?

25, if you go the speed limit.

T.V. goes off.

License and registration?

For what?

Dad, just give him your license!

Why? I was not speeding.

Your right taillight is out.

Yeah, those kids at the gas station broke it.

So you knew it was out before you got on the highway?

Of course I knew. So what?

Out of the car please, sir.

What?

Por favor?

I'm not Mexican, I'm Italian.

A United States citizen.

Jesus, Dad!

Officer...

Um, look, I know you're just doing your job,

and my dad's being a jerk,

but we're taking my mom to Huntington Hospital.

It's just like two exits up.

What's wrong with her?

Well, she's in pain. She's delusional.

She'll only speak German,

which I refused to take in high school,

so I can't understand any...

I'm pretty sure she thinks you're a Nazi.

No, she's telling her Grandma

I'm one of the good guys because I'm an American.

I did take German in high school.

You'll get that taillight fixed?

Yeah, first thing tomorrow.

Oh, tomorrow's Christmas!

As soon as you can?

Yeah.

Thank you.

If it weren't for her, I'd let you arrest him.

And if it wasn't for her, I would.

You drive safe.

Arrest me for what?

For resisting an officer, Dad.

That's a crime!

You're crazy.

Who's crazy?

Mom! You're speaking English.

I've been speaking English for 70 years.

Why am I in the backseat?

Well, you weren't feeling well, but don't worry,

we're taking you to the hospital.

No, I am not going to any hospital!

Oh, yes you are! - No, I do...

No, I do not need a hospital.

I was tired, I slept, I'm fine.

We are going to Marco's.

Guess we're going to Marco's.

Eh, wrong.

So, what's Choate like?

It's like "Handmaid's Tale" meets "Euphoria"

meets "Lord of the Flies".

Oh, ew, no. Why would you wanna go there?

Well, it's the boarding school DNA.

My mom went, so did my dad.

It's a legacy thing.

Honestly, I wish I went to boarding school.

Yeah, I wish you went to a boarding school too.

Seriously, what the fuck?

He doesn't give a about Mom or Dad.

He does, in his way.

What's his way?

Ignoring them? Not calling them back?

What can I say? He's a weird guy.

Tano will never speak against Dino.

It's contrary to his family ethos.

Hey, hey, they're here.

What's my family ethos?

Eldest sibling, you feel it's your job

to keep everyone together.

Oh, she has you down.

Group hug. - So nice to see you!

Oh, no! Raffi's not gonna make it.

His kid got sick.

Oh, no.

He's gonna spend the night with his family on FaceTime.

Who's Raffi?

Hey, you made it!

You have no idea!

No idea what I've been through.

Look at you!

More handsome every day.

And you!

So beautiful!

Oh, who is this?

Oh, I'm Mira. Nisha's daughter.

Mira!

So nice to meet you.

Grandma!

Amore!

Oh, I missed you so much.

Oh, I have to squeeze this little...

Lisa.

Oh...

My fave.

Hey, Grandpa.

What did the policeman say to the toilet?

Mm, I don't know. What?

"I'm just doing my duty."

Oh, this one is a pistol.

You.

Mm.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Hey, Mom.

Do you wanna go lie down for a little bit?

No, I want to talk to my grandchildren.

Yeah, but you weren't feeling well in the car,

and so maybe you-

Maybe it was the company.

I thought you stopped drinking.

Didn't take.

Oh, you finally decided to join us for Christmas.

Tano finally decided.

I've been waiting to join you for 15 years.

You don't wait for Tano.

He can't make up his mind about anything.

Something's wrong with Mom.

Really? She seems fine.

Half the way here, she only spoke German.

I ran into Sarah today.

Sarah, Sarah?

Where?

At the airport.

How is she?

She has a daughter.

Okay, let's eat.

♪ I saw Rudolph in the sky last night ♪

♪ His nose was shining like red stop light ♪

♪ So I squeeze my eyes and close them shut ♪

♪ Oh, I can't wait ♪

Mama?

Mama!

Ella!

Oh!

Grandma?

It's time to eat.

And you get the seat of honor.

♪ Every sight and every sound ♪

♪ Gives me smiles for miles and miles ♪

Ah, no screens at the table, Aunt Lisa.

He's right. No screens at the table, Aunt Lisa.

♪ Chestnuts too, of course ♪

Eh, don't give Lisa too much, huh?

She looks good slim.

♪ His nose shining like a red stop light ♪

♪ So, I squeeze my eyes and close them shut ♪

♪ Oh, I can't wait for Christmas ♪

♪ I can't wait for Christmas ♪

♪ Holidays on me ♪

♪ I got nothing but lonely ♪

♪ Everyone else is homeward bound ♪

♪ Running on empty ♪

♪ The universe is against me ♪

♪ But I'm all right when you are around ♪

♪ The days get darker ♪

♪ The cold get gets smarter ♪

♪ And your arms are nowhere to be found ♪

♪ Part of my heart ♪

♪ Just left on a plane ♪

♪ Just like it does every time ♪

♪ You go away ♪

♪ When we're apart ♪

♪ I promise I'll wait ♪

♪ For you to come back to me ♪