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Do you think babies dream?
2
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♪ Life is unfair. ♪
3
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Oh, Jamie finally fell asleep.
4
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,794
Haven't you finished
paying these bills yet?
5
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,086
How am I supposed to know
6
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,588
which ones to blow off?
7
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:47,715
"Ultimate Final Notice"
8
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is obviously more serious
9
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,091
than "Absolute Final Notice,"
10
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,719
but pink is angrier than yellow,
11
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,971
and this one's still
saying, "Please."
12
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:54,972
Would someone get my
13
00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,390
calculator out of the car?
14
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:57,474
I'll get it.
15
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:58,392
I'll go with you.
16
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,768
That's Beth,
17
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,478
Reese's girlfriend
for the last month.
18
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,355
She's really starting to bug me.
19
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,107
First I had to hear them
through their baby-talk phase.
20
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,569
Then they had their
giggling phone call phase.
21
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,112
Now they're on their
endless making-out phase.
22
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,323
It's gotten to the point
where I can't tell
23
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,534
if they're kissing or
cleaning each other.
24
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,535
Well, forget this one.
25
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,119
What's the vet going to do?
26
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,997
Bring Dewey's bird back to life?
27
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,582
The Feds arrested
Morrison today.
28
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,375
He locked himself in
the supply cabinet
29
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,168
and they just carried
the whole thing out.
30
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,838
God, haven't they finished
arresting people yet?
31
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,841
Dewey, could you please
not do that right now?
32
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,927
Look, I need to have
both the Debussy
33
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,387
and the Ravel nailed
by tomorrow morning.
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The selection committee for
the youth music festival
35
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won't be impressed
with simple etudes.
36
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:41,769
What?
37
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,144
I'm just sharing my day.
38
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,188
Thanks for taking an interest.
39
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,232
Okay, we'll be studying.
40
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,358
Wait, where's
41
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,359
my calculator?
42
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:50,318
Oh.
43
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,612
I'll get it.
44
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:52,654
I'll go with you.
45
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:00,955
Buckle up.
46
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,165
I'm Agent Stone. This
is Agent Scurry.
47
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,166
We're from the FBI.
48
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,167
I thought it was
just a squirrel.
49
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,169
That's why I kept going.
50
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,213
God, if I could have that day
back, I would give anything...
51
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,256
Sir, this is about
52
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,466
the company you work for.
53
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,593
In the last eight months
54
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,261
we've filed 230
criminal indictments.
55
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,179
People are flying
into jail cells.
56
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,180
It's beautiful.
57
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,057
Except for
58
00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:21,558
your department.
59
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,644
But we're just about ready
to pounce on Ken Wixted.
60
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:24,853
Ken Wixted?
61
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,229
We've got him dead-to-rights.
We just need you
62
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:27,355
to confirm a couple
of key details.
63
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,482
Did you ever see Ken Wixted
64
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,985
change the numbers on
a Section 13B filing
65
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,278
after it was signed by
the company auditors?
66
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,196
What? No.
67
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,824
Did he ever mention,
maybe in passing,
68
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,199
anything about an
offshore account
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00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,827
in the Cayman
Islands, or a villa?
70
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:40,869
Anything about a villa?
71
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:41,662
I don't think so.
72
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:42,621
Hal, we really,
73
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,206
really need you to
search your memory.
74
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,626
Think hard about whether
you're remembering right,
75
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,211
or whether you should
change your answer to yes.
76
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,213
Do you want me to lie?
77
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,091
We're just asking if
you'd like to confirm
78
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,216
what everybody already knows,
79
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,218
or whether you'd like to
provoke the full fury
80
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,804
of the United States government.
81
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,139
Now, can you swing by
82
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,431
my kid's school?
83
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,934
I forgot to give him his lunch.
84
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,229
Beth.
85
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,859
Are your parents passed out yet?
86
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,234
Yeah, but what are you doing?
87
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,235
I thought you
88
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,236
were working late.
89
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,446
Why are you dressed like that?
90
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,073
Because I've been thinking about
91
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,240
this moment for a long time,
92
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,534
and I want it to be perfect.
93
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,537
Beth, I have something
to tell you.
94
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:28,291
Beth... I love you.
95
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,545
I love you. I love you.
96
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,506
Oh, God.
97
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,257
This is going to be
so horrible for you.
98
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,259
I am so sorry.
99
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,094
What do you mean?
100
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,262
I want to break up.
101
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,015
Oh.
102
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:47,561
Yeah, yeah, that's okay.
103
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,770
Yeah, that's fine.
104
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:49,688
You know,
105
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,356
I was just kidding
106
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,483
anyway about... yeah.
107
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,526
It's no biggie.
108
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,113
Look, Reese.
109
00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:58,864
It's not you,
110
00:03:58,906 --> 00:03:59,948
it's me.
111
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,366
I just think I can do better.
112
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,870
I think we should end it now
before things get even...
113
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,580
Can we stop that music?
114
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,132
I should go.
115
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,466
Reese, if I could make
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00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,803
myself like you, I would.
117
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,807
What's that?
118
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,310
Reese, stop, you're going
to wake up my parents.
119
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,646
You really don't want to do this.
It's not what...
120
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:34,775
She grew on me.
121
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:35,984
Please don't kill me.
122
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,318
You can break my fingers.
123
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,779
Or if you just want to rest,
124
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,280
I'll break them for you.
125
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,576
I just want you to be happy.
126
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,709
Wow, I thought there'd
be a huge fistfight.
127
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,544
I mean, I had no
right to expect it,
128
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,171
but I would have understood.
129
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,342
They want you
130
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:02,343
to lie?
131
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:03,553
They never said that exactly.
132
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,346
Well, the big guy
never said anything.
133
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,807
These guys are serious, Lois.
134
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,058
And they're everywhere.
135
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,143
It's scary.
136
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,351
Well, I aced my audition.
137
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,271
They're sending me
to the state finals.
138
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,730
So now I just need to
tell them how many
139
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,356
family members are coming.
140
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,818
Dewey, we're in the middle
of something important here.
141
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,778
So that's me and everybody
who cares about me.
142
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,155
One.
143
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:23,198
Do you believe the way
these guys operate?
144
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,159
They find some weak little patsy
145
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,994
they're sure's going to crack
under the slightest pressure
146
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,037
just so they don't have
to do their own legwork.
147
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:31,248
I'm embarrassed for both of us.
148
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:32,415
Well, this is America, Hal.
149
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,375
You are not going to
lie to put someone
150
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,794
in jail who might be innocent.
151
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,212
You are right, and
you know what?
152
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,839
I'm going to tell
them that right now.
153
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,643
You've taken my arms and legs.
154
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,978
What else do you want?
155
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,563
I want your eyeballs for
my chocolate sundae.
156
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,815
But I'll be blind,
157
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,358
and your sundae will only
taste a little bit better.
158
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,407
I'm the worst brother ever!
159
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,701
Malcolm, Malcolm.
160
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,452
Wake up! Reese is gone.
161
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,706
What? Where'd he go?
The note didn't say.
162
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:15,083
"If my own brother could stab
me through the heart..."
163
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,043
Blah, blah, blah...
164
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:16,877
"Teardrops..."
165
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:17,878
Blah, blah, blah...
166
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,296
"Good-bye forever."
167
00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,421
Look.
168
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,715
Mom and Dad are going to make
169
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:24,051
a big deal out of this.
Let's just sit on it
170
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,427
till I get an answer
about my music festival.
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00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,431
What's happening?
What are you doing?
172
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,017
Wixted rolled over on you, Hal.
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00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,434
He told us all about
your offshore accounts
174
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,895
in the Cayman Islands,
175
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,272
altering documents, the
villa, everything.
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00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:38,857
Can't he at least
put some pants on?
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00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,441
Just as soon as we get a good
178
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,860
perp-walk out of him.
179
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,070
This is ridiculous!
180
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,238
He doesn't belong in jail!
181
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,446
He doesn't even look in the back
182
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,074
of the TV Guide for the
crossword answers!
183
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,075
Honey, I love you.
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00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,034
Keep the phone bill paid
185
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,369
so I can call you.
186
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:51,661
And the trick to the thermostat
187
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,454
is to push in before
you twist it.
188
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,706
Sir, you need to stand still.
189
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,749
And I need a lawyer.
190
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,458
Not Reese's. I-I
want a good one.
191
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,460
Sir, you need to stop squirming.
192
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,921
Boys, go back in the house.
193
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,714
Boys, your daddy
loves you very much.
194
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:03,965
And don't worry about this.
195
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,259
Sir, this is your last warning.
196
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,260
Believe in the American
197
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,303
Justice Sys...
198
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,477
I guess Dad's a no.
199
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,488
Don't worry, Hal.
200
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,199
I will be there first
thing in the morning.
201
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,492
Yes, I will bring your shaving
cream and your toothbrush.
202
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:35,080
No, Hal, do not make
a break for it.
203
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,873
Say it back to me.
204
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,500
Okay. I love you.
205
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,752
That's not evidence!
206
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,337
Those are my birth
control pills!
207
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,380
I brought them with me!
208
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:44,505
The beagle made a pointy foot.
209
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,590
It's out of my hands, lady.
210
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:46,967
What the hell is wrong with you?
211
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,136
At least leave me one.
212
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,305
Francis, don't make any more
trouble than we already have.
213
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,099
And you do not have a warrant
to vandalize our house!
214
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,517
When this is all over, you are
going to be chalking tires
215
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,519
all the way from
here to Montreal!
216
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,605
Don't you threaten me, lady.
217
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,568
♪ ♪
218
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,616
...with both hands
and a flashlight!
219
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,953
Okay.
220
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,621
The lawyer's supposed to
meet me here at 7:00.
221
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,539
If I'm late, feed him something,
222
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,540
but not the tuna casserole.
223
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:20,959
That has to last for
the next four days.
224
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,379
Hopefully, by that time,
your father will...
225
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,840
Somebody better do those dishes.
226
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:27,841
Mom, don't worry.
227
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,134
Just do what you have to do.
228
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,635
We'll look after the house.
I have to go.
229
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,429
Don't let me forget to get
230
00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:33,554
your father's allergy medication
231
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,806
and pick up his suit
for the hearing.
232
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,433
You want me to do anything?
233
00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,435
Well, you could steal your
brother's girlfriend.
234
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,560
Oh, wait, you already did that.
235
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,229
I know what I did was awful.
236
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,023
Believe me, I know,
237
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,358
and I don't even
want forgiveness,
238
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,276
but I think if you all
just give me a chance,
239
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,569
I can prove that I'm a
better person than this.
240
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,613
My eyes are up here.
241
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:55,576
I'm just going to have to
find Reese, that's all.
242
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,412
It shouldn't be too hard.
243
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,039
Where's he going to go, anyway?
244
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,582
Welcome to the U.S. Army,
245
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,960
your home for the
next three years.
246
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,587
You will proceed single-file
on the yellow stripe
247
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,423
to the processing facility.
248
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,800
Do not overwork your
tiny little brains
249
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:14,012
trying to figure out what
the other stripes are for.
250
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,056
Now move!
251
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,231
Not good enough?
252
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,648
I'm good enough for this place.
253
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,612
Hold it!
254
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,407
Are you sure you're 18?
255
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,617
Got the driver's
license to prove it.
256
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,619
All right, Private Jetson.
257
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,581
Get back in line!
258
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,625
I'm garbage.
259
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,503
I belong in a garbage can.
260
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,462
I am garbage.
261
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,673
I belong in a garbage can.
262
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,008
I am garbage.
263
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,593
I belong in a garbage can.
I am...
264
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,847
Does he have to wear that thing?
265
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,640
Hey, it was either
house arrest or jail.
266
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:02,018
I think we made
the right choice.
267
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,228
All right,
268
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,229
your anklet sends a signal
269
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,522
to the tamperproof base station.
270
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:06,647
Your court order says
271
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,567
you have to stay within
a 50-foot radius.
272
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,943
Can I shower with this?
273
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,279
Oh, now you're snapping at me?
274
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,906
Okay, you just lost ten feet.
275
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:15,907
What are you doing?
276
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,658
Let me tell you how this works.
277
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,453
You may have a court order,
278
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,288
but the truth is I can set this
279
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:24,707
to whatever I want: 200
miles or four inches.
280
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,919
Oh, look. You're
vacationing in Vegas.
281
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,838
Whoops. You can't get out
of your own bathroom.
282
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,757
Lois, I've been in the
public defender's office
283
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,509
for ten years, and
I can tell you
284
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,677
that arraignment was
not a disaster.
285
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:40,265
I bet we can get 'em down to
conspiracy to commit fraud.
286
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,683
That's what he's
already charged with!
287
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,185
Oh.
288
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,687
Do you have a pen?
289
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,523
Look, I know how
overworked you are,
290
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,318
but from now on, you
have only one case:
291
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,860
an innocent man
with five children
292
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,695
and a wife whose
lives are teetering
293
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:55,738
on the brink of oblivion.
294
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,532
Please don't let that happen.
295
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,326
You have to save my family.
296
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,536
You are the only person
who can help us.
297
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,164
Lois, I swear to you, I
will work night and day
298
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,999
to get your husband out of this.
299
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,751
My screenplay can
wait a few months.
300
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:11,712
I'm sorry, Hal.
301
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,423
I have to go to work,
but don't worry.
302
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,425
We will get through this.
303
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,178
I love you.
304
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,932
Oh, I have the
most amazing wife.
305
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,767
Now you're going to
throw that in my face?
306
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,685
That cost you five feet.
307
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,649
All right, troop, you're next.
308
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,691
Get in the chair.
309
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:36,737
Okay, I was thinking
something like this.
310
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:37,738
Look at this lifeguard.
311
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,616
Is there a straight-guy
version of that,
312
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,493
'cause that'd be perfect for me.
313
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:50,418
Okay, if you stop here, I think
I can still make it work.
314
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:03,014
It'll look longer when
it's combed out, right?
315
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,183
There's no way
316
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,560
I would have picked the laundry
317
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:07,852
if I knew that this
stuff was in it.
318
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,770
You're afraid of your
mother's underwear?
319
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,814
What's the big deal about
your mother's underwear?
320
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,441
Stop saying "mother's
underwear."
321
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,776
I don't know how much longer
Mom can handle all this--
322
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:16,777
the double shifts, the bills,
323
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:17,778
the meetings
324
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,614
with the police and the lawyers.
325
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,781
Don't forget the missing son.
326
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,492
I'm going to find him!
327
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,994
Well, if anyone cares,
328
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,663
my flight number is five...
329
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,289
Oh, hey, Mom.
330
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,790
Just give us a second,
and we'll clear
331
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:30,917
all this stuff off
the bed for you.
332
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,005
What time does she want
333
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,215
the alarm set?
334
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,175
5:30.
335
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,843
We're also supposed
to brush our teeth.
336
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,846
Good morning, maggots!
337
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,974
Now, I want you to understand
why I call you maggots.
338
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,603
The maggot is the slimy,
quivering larval form
339
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:53,398
of the common housefly, and
we all know what maggots eat.
340
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,025
And I will be the
guy providing...
341
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,821
Good God.
342
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,990
I bet there's a great story
for this, isn't there, son?
343
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,409
Hang on.
344
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,369
Of course.
345
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,664
Okay.
346
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:10,915
Would you like to tell me
347
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,833
what happened to
your gear, Private?
348
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:13,834
Oh, I traded it.
349
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,462
I got this and five cartridges.
350
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,005
So, you just blithely gave away
351
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,883
your government-issued
rucksack and poncho?
352
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:23,010
Well, the pack, I figure,
I can eventually get
353
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,554
off a dead guy, and the poncho?
354
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,307
Come on. Does it look
like rain to you?
355
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,851
♪ My drill sergeant
helps me learn ♪
356
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,895
♪ I am just a lowly worm ♪
357
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,897
♪ He commands the sun and rain ♪
358
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,065
Right. ♪ I am just
a human stain ♪
359
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,816
♪ My drill... ♪
360
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,722
Oh, my God! Jamie!
361
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:08,847
Jamie.
362
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,892
Jamie, honey,
363
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:12,977
c-come to Daddy.
364
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,479
Come to Daddy, Jamie.
365
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,022
Come on. Jamie!
366
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,530
Look inside the basket.
367
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,739
Look, Jamie, it's your favorite.
368
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,578
Jamie, don't go in there.
That's dangerous!
369
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,913
No, no, no, no.
370
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:33,914
You stay away from there.
371
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,459
Don't you touch that.
372
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,420
Attaboy.
373
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,921
Attaboy, Jamie!
374
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,299
There.
375
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:44,759
Hello.
376
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:45,926
Hello, Hal.
377
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,928
I have some information
that can help you.
378
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,930
What? Who is this?
379
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,183
I'm not going to tell you,
but I know you're innocent,
380
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,184
and I can prove it.
381
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,435
We need to meet
382
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,521
face to face, somewhere
where there's a crowd.
383
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,605
But I can't...
384
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,732
Look, if you want to stay
385
00:14:58,773 --> 00:14:59,940
out of jail, you'll do it.
386
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:00,983
Why can't you come here?
387
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,443
Your place is being watched.
388
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:03,944
Your phone's probably
bugged, too.
389
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:04,945
Meet me Thursday
390
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,865
at noon at the
place where you go
391
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,575
when you say you're
getting more toner.
392
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,243
The Donut Shack?
393
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,203
All right, plan "B."
394
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,788
Meet me at the
place where you go
395
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,749
when you say you've got
a dentist appointment.
396
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,625
Don't say where it is.
397
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,585
Got it.
398
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,420
Hey, I know who this is.
399
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,046
You're...
400
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,549
My drill sergeant's
breath is not my concern!
401
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,967
My drill sergeant's
breath is not my concern!
402
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:29,387
My drill sergeant's
breath is not my concern!
403
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,681
So, I put the base
station in there
404
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,015
with a portable power supply.
405
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:36,227
I modulated a standard cell phone
to mimic the analog modem.
406
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,646
Just make sure you stay within
30 feet of this backpack.
407
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:42,066
Don't worry. I've got the ankle
bracelet completely camouflaged.
408
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,782
Can you believe your mom wanted
to give these to the blind?
409
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,825
Remember, you have
to be back by 4:00.
410
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:51,992
That's when Mom gets home.
411
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,202
And you understand
how important it is
412
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,662
to keep this from
her, don't you?
413
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,247
Francis, you're in
charge of making sure
414
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,875
Malcolm doesn't betray me,
like he's prone to do.
415
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,835
Absolutely.
416
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:10,010
Well, troop, you've polished
your boots before everyone else.
417
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:14,474
How on God's good earth did
you accomplish that miracle?
418
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:16,684
I just did it exactly
the way you told me to.
419
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,645
Remove laces, pull
tongue forward,
420
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,229
apply polish, pull
tongue backward,
421
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,523
buff, replace laces, repeat.
422
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,776
I did the same thing to make my
bed and secure my foot locker.
423
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:31,950
Well, that's the most miraculous
turnaround that I've ever seen.
424
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,034
I want you to explain
to these recruits
425
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,829
how the worst
soldier in the unit
426
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,747
has managed to put
them all to shame!
427
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:40,040
I just stopped thinking.
428
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:43,085
I figured out that using my
brain was the whole problem...
429
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,755
not just here, but
my entire life.
430
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,132
If I just do exactly what
I'm told and nothing else,
431
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,635
then everything gets easy.
432
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,053
It's not even a question
of smart or dumb.
433
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:56,349
You just turn
yourself into a tool.
434
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,559
I'm much happier that way.
435
00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,895
I'm the world's happiest tool.
436
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,147
You must be proud
of yourself, son.
437
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,649
I don't know if I am or not.
438
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,734
I'm waiting for you to tell me.
439
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:09,863
My God.
440
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:14,575
A soldier like you comes along
once in a thousand years.
441
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,706
Mom! You're home early.
442
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:22,082
Yup. Got fired. What?!
443
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,250
I gave someone $2,000
444
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,920
in change instead of $20.
445
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,005
But you know what?
446
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,089
We just adapt. We move forward.
447
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,090
I'll get another job,
448
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,092
and in the meantime, I can
get started on dinner.
449
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,804
Actually, they repossessed
the fridge this morning.
450
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:40,100
Fine. We will get through this.
451
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,103
It's okay.
452
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,188
He's all right.
453
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,525
Just got away from
me for a second.
454
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:54,323
And we will get through this...
as long as we're together,
455
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,116
as long as we have each other.
456
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:59,370
We are a family. Where's Dad?
457
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,165
He's gone.
458
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,212
I think I'll take a shower.
459
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,138
Left, right, left, right!
460
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:21,559
Fork up! In! Chew, chew!
461
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,143
Left to right!
462
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:25,145
Front to back!
463
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,773
Bear down!
464
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,817
Pinch!
465
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:45,541
One, two, three, four...
466
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:48,210
29, 30.
467
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,018
Listen, I don't have much time.
468
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,603
I know everybody
who's in on this,
469
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,105
and I know exactly what they did
470
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,064
because I helped 'em.
471
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:09,189
What? They paid me millions.
472
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,776
I was happy just to sit back
473
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,069
and watch you take a fall.
474
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,697
But then I found out I'm dying.
475
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,033
I got six months at the most.
476
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:21,201
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
477
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,496
Listen, I can't go to my grave
with this on my conscience,
478
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,165
so I'm flipping on all of them--
I'm going to tell the truth...
479
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,835
...but we can't tip our hand.
480
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,128
They're too powerful.
481
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,712
If they even get
a whiff of this,
482
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,422
they'll just fabricate
new documents,
483
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,381
and we'll both go down.
484
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,800
You won't hear from me
485
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,969
until I show up at
the courthouse.
486
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,220
Don't follow me.
487
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,222
I've also got some
overdue book fines
488
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,934
I want to get off my conscience.
489
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,896
Mom, will you at least
490
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,023
talk to us?
491
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,066
I'm in the shower, honey.
492
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,818
Yes, we know you're
in the shower.
493
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,402
It's been three hours now.
494
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,071
The water must be freezing.
495
00:19:57,113 --> 00:20:00,158
Do I bother you when
you're in the shower?
496
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:11,251
Mom, listen, I know how
hard this is for you.
497
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,129
I know how scared you are,
498
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,254
but you know what?
499
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,256
You've got a family
that depends on you,
500
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,299
and as impossible
501
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,425
as it seems, you just got
502
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,260
to suck it up one more time.
503
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:23,263
Just one more time, Mom;
that's all we need.
504
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,432
You know you can do this.
505
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,561
In a minute.
I'm in the shower.
506
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,564
Ooh!
507
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,649
Sorry, Officer. Excuse me.
508
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,526
You in a hurry? You
know, busy day.
509
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:36,944
You understand. Is
that your backpack?
510
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:39,697
Oh, uh, no, no. Absolutely not.
511
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:40,823
Better check it out.
512
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,329
Whoa! I think we
got a bomb here.
513
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,455
You got to get out of here.
514
00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:49,582
No, I-I can't.
515
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:50,958
Sir, I need you to step away
516
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,919
to a distance of
at least 150 feet.
517
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,296
I can't do that. I'm... I'm...
518
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,716
I'm in the bomb squad.
519
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,717
What? That's right.
520
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,552
You better let a
professional handle this.
521
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,304
Damn. I was a week
from retirement.
522
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,306
You get to safety. I'll
take it from here.
523
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,307
Yes, sir.
36444
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