Original subtitles

Your Majesty, I think that at this moment

you should appoint Gongsun Hong to host it

So the other officers will know what you are thinking

and follow your instructions in the future

Yes, but the Empress Dowager has given an order

It's inappropriate to go against it aboveboard

Your Majesty, do you remember the fight between Zhang Tang and Dou Yong?

You mean I should also let Wang Xiu and Gongsun Hong fight for this post?

That's the only way out, Your Majesty

You served the late emperor as well. You are a prestigious man

His Majesty will listen to you

Your Highness, don't worry

I will be able to persuade you with my skills with words

He will follow the Queen Dowager's will

and make the Duke Wang lead in the affairs of the national funeral

If you manage to do that

I will not forget your contribution to this

It is my honor to serve Your Highness

I will do my best in the imperial court

Come and meet Duke Wang

Godfather, you are here

Come on, put it down

Lord Wang, you really shouldn't have. This

Open it

Such a costly gift. How could we

Lord Dongfang, don't act like a stranger

Lüyu is my adopted daughter

I should make up for her dowry

Right. Then we'd like to thank you for your generosity

What are you two waiting for?

Thank Duke Wang!

Godfather, thank you so much

Lord Gongsun, I should go

Thank you, my lord, for helping me

Don't thank me. I'm just the messenger

Lord Gongsun, your talent is far more rich than Wang Xiu's

But when it comes to human relationships

you might not be his match

So, be careful. Don't let His Majesty down

Please tell His Majesty

that I will do my best to live up to his expectations

So, I'll

- Please stay, my lord. - Take care, then

My ministers

The Grand Empress Dowager left for a better world

I'm deeply graving

So, this national funeral for her has to be grand

to express my sorrow

The Empress Dowager has witnessed three emperors and is graceful

So, the one who's holding the national funeral

has to be someone highly respected

Who do you think is capable of the position?

I'd like to recommend Gongsun Hong, the Grand Mentor

Your Majesty, I don't think it's a good decision

Minister Gu

enlighten us

I'd like to recommend Wang Xiu as the Funeral Supervisor

of the funeral for the Grand Empress Dowager

Lord Gu An, you already have a title for the one

who's going to be the lead?

Lord Wang is the Queen Dowager's brother and Your Majesty's uncle

He's the best candidate

Grand Mentor Gongsun Hong is not an imperial member

but he is knowledgeable and widely respected

He is the best candidate for the host of the national funeral

- Duke Wang is better. - Gongsun Hong is better

- Your Majesty, I have something to report. - Speak

We can let Lord Gongsun and Lord Wang

tell us about their plans for the funeral

and all ministers can comment on their plans

The one with the better plan can be the host

That's reasonable. Wang Xiu

- Yes. - What do you think?

- Your Excellency. - Lord Gu!

It's not your turn to speak. Listen to Duke Wang

Your Majesty

Lord Gu and I must be thinking alike

We could let Lord Gu talk first, and I'll make up the rest

Okay. Gu An, you first

The Grand Empress Dowager is a kind person

After Emperor Wen passed away

she released most of the 3,000 people from the harem

and kept just 30 servants who were closest to her

Now that Her Highness is gone

I think we should let the 30 people go with Her Highness

to fulfill Her Highness's wish

Your Majesty, how can we do that?

Your Majesty!

Your Majesty, burying servants is cruel and inhuman

We can't accept this plan no matter what

There were precedents for burying slaves

And it fits the Grand Empress Dowager's situation

Your Excellency, I think Lord Gu An's plan is reasonable

But these imperial servants are not good enough for Her Highness

What are you trying to say?

To bury imperial servants alongside Her Majesty

is diminishing Her Highness's prestigious position

If we can bury her

with ministers above 1,000-bushel who were trusted by Her Highness

that would be enough to deliver

the loyalty and respect that Lord Gu An kept mentioning

- Lord Gu. - Your Majesty!

- What do you think? - I don't get it

Even I got it. Are you still confused?

The minister who was mostly trusted by Her Highness was the Dous

Now that they are dead

you are Her Highness's most favored minister

Lord Gu An, isn't that right?

Your Majesty, Gu An's plan is absurd

It's not what I want. Please don't be confused, Your Majesty

Duke Wang, don't worry. I know

that you will never give me such a ridiculous opinion

I'm too old and woolly

I'm too old to serve Your Majesty now

Please allow me to resign and retire

What's going on? Did I say that you are old?

Your Majesty, Lord Gu An might be old

but that makes him a good candidate

to accompany the Grand Empress Dowager

He may tell Her Highness some old stories to make her happy

Your Majesty!

Gu An, the Censor-in-chief, is old, confused, and absurd

Considering you've served the late emperor and Her Highness for years

you should get some credit for that

Leave your position and retire to your hometown

Thank you, Your Majesty, for your grace

- Duke Wang. - Yes

You said that Gu An cannot speak for you

So, tell us your plan for the funeral

I think it shouldn't be extravagant

Frugality is the best plan

- So, you are agreeing with Gongsun Hong. - Yes

Good

My ministers, I have an edict for you

At your service

Gongsun Hong shall be the Funeral Supervisor

for the Grand Empress Dowager's national funeral

Hail the Empress Dowager!

Long live the Empress Dowager!

- Rise, ministers. - Thank you, Your Highness

Respect to Mother

Your Majesty, the Grand Empress Dowager's funeral cannot wait

Yet you are wasting time arguing here

Don't you want the Grand Empress Dowager to rest in peace?

Please don't be mad, Mother. I'm coming up with a perfect plan

I don't think it would be perfect since everyone is arguing here

Who knows how long will it take you

to reach a united opinion?

Wang Xiu

Yes

You are my brother and His Majesty's uncle

Why don't you take the lead for Her Highness's funeral?

- Mother! - Gongsun Hong, here's an edict for you

Yes

You shall be the Funeral Vice Supervisor

and help Wang Xiu with funeral affairs

I humbly accept the decree

Your Majesty. Your Highness

What is it?

The imperial palace is in chaos

What kind of chaos?

Report it to Her Highness

Your Highness, it has been days now

and we still don't have the procedure for the funeral

No one knows what the schedule is

The supervisor is clueless and confused

Things that should have come first are left aside

Those that can wait

are being dealt with like emergencies

What is Wang Xiu doing?

Lord Wang was surrounded by ministers and eunuchs asking for missions

Those orders came from Lord Wang

What about Gongsun Hong?

Lord Gongsun is also there

waiting for Lord Wang to give him assignments

Send my edict

- Ask Dongfang Shuo to come and see me right away. - Yes

Respect to Your Majesty

- Have you met the Empress Dowager? - Yes

Your Majesty. Her Highness used to be

kind and graceful. How come she changed all of a sudden?

She gave me a harsh edict with a long face

that I must help Lord Wang to do a good job

for the Grand Empress Dowager's funeral

Or, she will ask the Office for Law Enforcement

to cut me into two pieces

Dongfang Shuo, you have to understand

that the credit will go to Wang Xiu if the funeral goes well

If not, you will be the scapegoat

That's why I promised Her Highness

that I will help Lord Wang

to deal with the Grand Empress Dowager's funeral

But if you do an excellent job

the Queen Dowager will definitely make Wang Xiu the prime minister

Your Majesty, don't worry

I can promise you

that being the prime minister is an illusion for Wang Xiu

The Queen Dowager asked me to see her the other day and clearly stated

that she's going to the imperial court with me on December 1st

to decide who shall be the prime minister

You have to figure something out for me

in the next few days

Lord Dongfang!

Mr. Li. Is the hostess home? It's urgent

Lord Dongfang

Madam went with my master to train on Huashan

They are acting like they are fairies who don't need a home

Lord Dongfang, take care

Who do you think

is the best candidate for the new prime minister?

Your Highness, I think Wang Xiu is the best candidate

Tell me why

Because it fits the ancestral rules

The Grand Empress Dowager appointed Dou Wangsun the prime minister.

Now you are in power

- Wang Xiu should be the prime minister, naturally. - How dare you!

How can you put Wang Xiu and the rogue Dou Wangsun together?

Your Highness, that's not what I meant

Dou Wangsun wasn't a rogue before he became the prime minister

And he played an important role when the late emperor

was pacifying the seven kings

He got other ideas after he became the prime minister

For His Majesty

I suffered and endured in the palace for so long

I'm finally seeing this day

And you are trying to piss me off. His Majesty, too

I dare not

Your Highness, I don't think His Majesty is having this idea

As the saying goes, one's success can benefit all his relatives

I'm his mother, after all

If my brother can't be promoted

what will people think of me?

They would think I did something shameful

that my relatives

cannot benefit at all

That does make sense. It's just that

What?

It's just that His Majesty may be having a hard time understanding it

I'll leave this to you

Find a way to persuade His Majesty no matter what

Your Highness, there are so many people with higher positions

who are more respected than me

You should pick someone

more powerful than me

You are one of His Majesty's favorites

He listens to everything you say

But, Your Highness. There's something that you don't know

Back then, I was bold

when I said all kinds of things to His Majesty

I had the death-free chance the Grand Empress Dowager granted me

Now that she has passed away

I'll have to behave myself

How dare I say things that His Majesty doesn't like?

If you can make this thing happen

I'll give you a death-free chance

Thank you, Your Highness, for your grace!

What is it

that could be so difficult for someone like you?

If you can't come up with a solution, leave it aside for now

Maybe you'll map out a plan

in your dreams

You are right

I'll leave it aside and have a nice dream

You are worrying about the imperial court business

and I'm burning over what happened with my brother

I wonder when can I

live a carefree life

Gu, you know what?

Hu is lucky to have a wife like that to keep him in line

He won't be so bored every day

and making up crappy songs

Are you still resenting him?

I'm not in the mood

I'm already toasted

for the battle between His Majesty and the Empress Dowager

I'm so worried

What can you do? Can you resign?

Who are you? You are Dongfang Shuo, the smartest man alive

Gu, don't call me that again

You yelled toward the mountains

every day when we were living in the countryside

- What changed? - This is not the countryside anymore

Madam. Master. His Majesty is her

That darn emperor. Why is he here all of a sudden?

Welcome, Your Majesty

- Rise. - Thank you, Your Majesty

Please take a seat, Your Majesty

What are you waiting for?

Go boil our best pre-rain tea for His Majesty

- Yes, Master. - Go!

Your Majesty, you

Nothing. I just want to take a walk and relax

If you don't mind

we have a garden in the backyard

Well, it's nothing compared to the imperial garden

Shall we go take a walk there?

Sure. Let's go check it out

Your Majesty, this way

Dongfang Shuo

Let me ask you

Did the Empress Dowager ask you to see her?

You are wise, Your Majesty. You guessed it

Did she ask you to recommend Wang Xiu as the prime minister?

- Your Majesty is like a god who knows everything. - Stop joking

Did you agree?

I cannot reject Her Highness

What did she offer you?

Your Majesty. Her Highness gave me a death-free chance

How dare you, Dongfang Shuo. You got one from my grandma

how the Empress Dowager!

Do you think I wouldn't dare to kill you because of that?

Please calm down, Your Majesty. That's not what I meant

I'm not an ambitious man. I'm not afraid of anything but death

Sure, the death-free chances mean nothing to you

But for me, it's something that makes me feel safe

I just want some type of guarantee

But you've also promised me

that Wang Xiu will not become the prime minister

You've promised the Empress Dowager the contrary. What's that about?

Your Majesty, you are Her Highness's son

- I have to try to calm the both of you down… - You asshole

Can you lie to me like that?

I put my foot in my mouth. I should have used “agreeing” instead

It's not just about Wang Xiu now

The Empress Dowager is trying to get a position

for Yi Sheng and Jin Buhuan, those two clowns

Your Majesty. Yi Sheng and Jin Buhuan are both your relatives

It's not so out of line to give them positions

But one of them is a butcher, another is a farmer

Can they be officials?

Are you saying that you don't want them to be officials?

You think?

That's easy

Just ask them

to refuse the nomination in front of Her Highness

Dongfang Shuo

Ever since I ascended the throne

I've only seen people asking for positions

and I never heard of anyone who would refuse a position

Your Majesty, people are all different

Maybe the two of them never wanted to be official

What are you talking about?

Your Majesty, did you forget that I'm also a fortune-teller?

Fine. If you can get them to resign voluntarily

I'll reward you with 100 tales of gold

- Thank you, Your Majesty. - Don't thank me just yet

What if you are wrong?

Your Majesty can punish me with one month of salary

No, a year

- 12 months? - It's a deal

- Has His Majesty left? - Yes

What could have possibly brought him here?

His Majesty needs me for everything

It's just like what you said. Dongfang Shuo is the smartest man alive

Stop joking. Tell me

Madam. Master. Jin Buhuan is here

- Is this a special day? - He came just in time

- Go invite him in. Wait. - All right

Stall him on his way in

- And then, you should leave. - Understood, Master

Honey, I need a favor

What is it?

Help me earn 100 tales of god

Here. Mr. Jin. This way

Take care, Mr. Jin

Mr, Jin, wait here for a moment

Master will be here soon

I have to go deal with something ow

- Go. - All right

Mr. Jin, help me!

You black sheep! I'm gonna teach you a good lesson today!

What? Are you a beast?

- Move! I'm going to break his leg today! - Help!

You unruly woman. Try that again

and I'll kill you!

Mr. Jin!

Thank you for saving my life

Don't be afraid. Go change, and I'll take you out for a drink

Stay here

That darn woman!

Mr. Jin, if it weren't for you today, I wouldn't have ended up well

Dongfang Shuo, you are a man!

Why are you so afraid of your wife?

You have no idea. People like me are all afraid of their wives

I'm not afraid of mine

You don't? Wouldn't your wife beat you?

She beats me? She should feel lucky if I'm not rough with her

Really?

Few men from our village have never beaten their wives

I didn't hit her that much

Mr. Jin, your wife is His Majesty's cousin

Her most important identity is my wife

If I don't hit her for a while

she'll feel itchy all over. She'll feel uncomfortable

I really even commoners like you

Unlike officials like us. We have no choice

I just don't understand

- Why would one fear his wife after becoming an official? - Sure!

Think about it. Do you think His Majesty would fear his wife?

He's the most powerful man. I don't think so

That's right

His Majesty doesn't fear his wife

Because he doesn't

so he requires all people who serve him

- to be afraid of their wives. - Why?

If the officials are not afraid of wives

won't they be on the same level as His Majesty?

If you want to be the same as His Majesty, what does that mean?

Means me want to be an emperor

You are more than you let on

Rebelling for wanting to be an emperor is a capital offense

So, all officials must fear their wives

Otherwise, if His Majesty learns you are not afraid of your wife

he would cut your head off without asking any questions

Oh, my god!

You are lucky that you are not an official

That's why you are so lucky that you can beat your wife

The other day, Duke Want told me that I would get a position as well

Oh no!

His Majesty must know that you hit your wife frequently

Wouldn't you be offending His Majesty?

That's why he's giving you a position first

to gain power over you

If you dare to hit your wife again

you will lose your head!

Is that real?

Besides, you need to be prepared for certain positions

Prepare what?

Smell it

You reek of pork all over. How can you show up like that?

Wouldn't you be offending all the other ministers?

Go to hell!

I've been butchering pigs for decades. I like this smell

I can't live without it

Mr. Jin. You have to live as regulated as an official

The pork smell is in my bones now

I can never wash it off

You won't wash it off. If you won't

they will hate you

and try to pick on you

You'll not be comfortable as an official

The heck with the official. I don't want to be one

Isn't this Lord Dongfang?

Why are you kneeling here?

Aren't you worried that you may get sunburn?

Lord Dongfang, you

Mr. Yi, it's you

It is me. What happened to you?

I'm thirsty. I want water

Where am I supposed to get you water? Wait!

My lord, here. Have a cucumber to quench your thirst

Are you that thirsty?

My lord, what are you doing here?

Practice the kung fu of kneeling

The kung fu of kneeling?

Yeah

Mr. Yi. It's not easy to be an official

Take kneeling for example

We need to kneel for countless times every day

When His Majesty is not happy

you may need to kneel for three whole days

If you don't practice the kung fu of kneeling

you will die when being punished

Yeah. I have to kneel so many times every time I see the Queen Dowager

My knees hurt for a long time after I got home

People like you who need to kneel dozens of times a day

is like living in hell

Let me put it this way, Mr. Yi

Once you become an official

you'll suffer for the rest of your life

There's no end to it

Lord Dongfang

I don't get it. If being an official is so intolerable

why would so many people fight for a position in the imperial court

with everything they've got every year?

It's not like they want to fight for a position

Some officials

are not so good at kneeling

so they died over kneeling

So, His Majesty

would recruit a lot of people to fill in

The unfortunate newcomers knew nothing

They thought it was a good thing

They'll meet the same ending, that is kneeling to death

So, officials will all die from kneeling

Respect to Your Highness and Your Majesty

Please rise. Come on, sit here

Yi Sheng

stand up to talk with us

You've suffered a lot to raise my girl

It's time for you to enjoy your life

I asked you to come here so that His Majesty can give you a position

Your Highness, please spare me!

What are you doing?

I don't want to be an official

Why?

Mother

Mother

since Uncle doesn't want to be an official, let's not force him

Stand up!

How stupid are you? If you don't want a position, what do you want?

- I… - Uncle, don't rush yourself. Take your time

I want some land

All right. I will issue the edict right away

and give you a manor for you to grow vegetables

Long may Your Majesty reign!

Mr. Jin!

Do you like this manor? Is it big enough for you?

I like it very much

It is good. But there's one thing

How come a manor like this has no pigsty?

Mr. Jin, that's easy

What do you think if we build one here?

And if you like it, we can build another one here

You will have at least two top-notch pigsties here

That's great!

I can raise at least 50 pigs here

You fool. What are you talking about with Lord Dongfang?

What pig?

Madam, Mr. Jin said

that he wants to make one pigsty here, and one there

Two pigsties for 50 pigs

Pigsty? Who said that we are building a pigsty here?

I said it. What?

You hillbilly. No pigs in my yard

I am a hillbilly, and I'm raising pigs in this yard

Do that and I'll throw you out

You throw me out?

I'll kill you

Mr. Jin, don't

I'll beat you to death, so what?

Kill you, and I still have 50 pigs

Why should I be afraid?

- I'm hitting you no matter what! - Mr. Jin!

How dare you! I'm the Madam Xiuzhu, and you dare to hit me?

Get him!

- Madam, please calm down! - You damned witch!

How dare you ask someone to beat your husband?

I'm going to kill you today

Get the weapon and hit him in his asses hard!

Madam Xiuzhu, calm down. Mr. Jin

This is your wife

Just take a step back and say something nice

- No! - What are you waiting for? Hit him!

Do it!

Hail the Empress Dowager!

Respect to Your Highness

- Rise and talk. - Thank you, Your Highness

What's with the fuss?

Mom, he hit me!

You bad seed! How dare you hit my daughter?

Your Highness. She's your niece

How dare you hit my niece?

My wife is like my donkey. I can hit her and push her however I want

You dog, how dare you talk to my mother like that? Hit him again!

You witch, when I'm healed

the first thing I will do is skinning you

Leave him!

What happened?

Your Highness. Jin Buhuan wants to build

two pigsties in the yard. One here, and one here

Madam Xiuzhu won't allow it

So, they had a fight

Jin Buhuan, you are about to be an official soon

How can you be thinking about pigs all day long?

I won't be an official. I won't be able to hit my wife as I want

I'm going to build pigsties here, here, and there

Shut up! Even if you are not an official, you can't raise pigs here!

I want to, and I'm going to

Mother, he still has the nerve to talk back to you

I'll ask the guards to smash his ass!

Madam Xiuzhu, Your Highness. Please calm down

Jin Buhuan has been feeding pigs for decades now

He has developed a strong affection for pigs

If we ask him to stop raising pigs all of a sudden

he would lose his emotional support

It's hard for him to get used to this life all of a sudden

Raising pigs in a descent official's manor

I don't even know what to say now!

Your Highness, Jin Buhuan is

as stubborn as a bull

Yi Sheng, talk to Jin Buhuan

Jin Buhuan, just listen to Her Highness

Don't raise pigs here. His Majesty gave me a huge garden

Come with me. I'll grow vegetables, and you can raise pigs.

Okay. I'll go raise pigs. I'll be raising pigs my whole life!

Fine. Get lost, all of you!

Go grow vegetables and feed pigs!

I'll never ask about you again!

Dongfang Shuo, what did you do

to make those two clowns refuse their positions?

Your Majesty, you are wronging me

That's their idea. I have nothing to do with it

I just saw it when I was reading their fortune

You are playing dumb

Are you still paying me the 100 tales gold bet?

- Dongfang Shuo, fine. Yi! - At your service

Ask the imperial finance to pay 100 tales gold to Dongfang Shuo

Thank you, Your Majesty, for your grace

Yi Sheng and Jin Buhuan are so disappointing

It's hard for me to accept this

That's why I never mentioned them

I knew they were just two losers

You are the only one of my relatives who are doing well

Don't fail me

I'm honored to serve you

Your status means everything to me

I will never fail you

That's why I've thought it through. I will make you

the prime minister even if it's just to make me look good

Or people will laugh at me

for coming from a family of idiots