Original subtitles

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

- From the Penn & Teller Theater in Las Vegas, Nevada,

here's our host, Alyson Hannigan.

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome to "Penn & Teller: Fool Us."

Tonight we have a great show, as usual.

Amazing magicians trying to fool Penn and Teller.

But we also have a very special surprise

that involves everyone watching.

And here to tell you all about it,

the two and only Penn and Teller.

[cheers and applause]

Hello.

Hi.

[cheers and applause]

- Our last trick tonight

is gonna happen in your homes, I mean all of ya's.

Find yourself four cards, same backs, different faces.

And you're gonna ruin them, so take them from an old deck.

But have four cards ready at the end of the show.

And we'll make the magic happen right in front of your TV.

You at home, get ready.

- Yes, I saved you seats.

- Good, let's go.

- They're good, very good ones.

[cheers and applause]

Remember, any magician clever enough

to fool Penn and Teller wins a trip back to Vegas

to perform in their famous Las Vegas show.

Let's meet our first potential fooler.

- My name is Shawn Farquhar,

and I'm a professional magician.

Magic is truly in my DNA.

I learned my numbers from a deck of cards,

which probably explains why, in grade school,

I thought after ten came jack.

I eat, sleep, and drink magic.

[rock music]

Oh, sorry, I had something stuck in my throat.

Every job I ever took ended up going back towards magic.

I worked in a pizza place,

and I was doing tricks with the pepperoni.

I would entertain the people who watched through the window.

Actually, it's my second time on "Fool Us.'

- We have no idea how you got the [bleep] ball.

- It was probably the best

performance experience I've ever done,

next to winning the World Championship.

I never imagined I'd fool them the first time.

It was a long shot.

But then, winning the Powerball is a long shot,

and there's always a winner in that, too.

[cheers and applause]

- For the first time ever,

we're bringing back someone who already fooled Penn and Teller.

- Oh, no.

- Here to see if he can do it again,

please welcome Shawn Farquhar.

[applause]

- Wow.

Back on the "Fool Us" stage.

You know the first word that comes to mind?

Deja vu.

Gentlemen, if you recall, the last time I was here,

I was the world champion of card magic,

and I did a card trick.

And for me, it was an awesome memory.

And speaking of awesome memories,

that's what I'm gonna demonstrate tonight,

with the help of Alyson.

Would you mind helping for a moment?

- Oh, sure. - Thank you so much.

- Alyson, I have a book.

This is "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes."

I want you to take a look at the book

and make sure that all the pages are different,

that it's not one page repeated over and over again.

Every page is different in the book.

It's a real book, yes?

- Yes.

- There are 200 and some odd pages in there.

Average page has between 200 and 250 words,

which means there's somewhere between 40,000 and 50,000 words.

I've memorized them all--

every page, every paragraph, every sentence, and every word.

And you're gonna test me.

Sound like fun? - Sure.

- Alyson, pick any page you'd like in the book.

Tell me the page number,

and I'll tell you what's written on it.

- Okay, 102. - 102, it's excellent.

The first two words that appear on 102

are "Sherlock" and "Holmes," am I right?

- Yes. - I am, yeah.

I should point that out.

The top of every page says "Sherlock" and "Holmes."

It's a gimme.

This is way too easy.

And you see, I can see the pages,

so it's not really test conditions.

Yeah, if you do that, it just makes the book happy.

Here's what we'll do.

We'll do something a little bit different.

Test conditions.

We'll turn so we're not facing each other.

In fact, we'll stand back-to-back.

- Hmm.

- Yeah, shoulder-to-shoulder, cheek-to-cheek.

[laughter]

Oh, hey, you work out.

Okay, I want you to open the book

to any page you'd like to now.

- A different page?

- A different page, because I already saw stuff on that page.

And once you've made a decision, say,

"Shawn, I've made a decision."

- I made a decision.

- That's awesome.

I'm happy with the decision.

Are you happy with the decision?

- Sure. - Good.

Now that we're both happy,

I want you to be more like my wife.

And even though we've both made the decision and we're happy,

I want you to change your mind again.

- Okay.

- Is that too close for home? - Yeah.

- Are you on a new page? - Sure.

- For the firs time, what is the page you're on?

- 64.

- 64, is there any way you would have known

that you weren't gonna be on 64 tonight?

- No, no. - None, right?

Good, I want you, quietly, just to yourself,

to count the number of paragraphs

that are on page 64.

This was a lot easier when I was younger.

- Okay.

- 64, yeah, on that side,

there's one, two, three, four, five.

Five paragraphs, am I right?

- Yes.

- And the first line is actually the middle

of a person's name that begins with, like,

"Von Ormstein, the Grand Duke of Castle Feinstein."

Am I right? - Yes.

- Yeah, it's continued from the page before,

which, the last three words on that page were, like,

"William Godstreet Sigmunds."

Is that right? - Yes.

- Imagine that, that I'm able to actually

discern those pages as quickly as that.

Oh, it's okay, we'll go another page.

We'll go to another page.

So back together, back-to-back.

Now go to a different section,

maybe another 10 pages, 20 pages up,

wherever you'd like to.

Go to those pages, and tell me what page you're on now.

- 140. - 140.

That's an excellent choice.

140.

Okay, count the amount of paragraphs

that are on page 140.

140.

Oh, this is good.

There's, like, a lot.

There's, like, 11 of them.

Is that right?

The second paragraph says, like,

"Good night, Mr. Sherlock Holmes."

- Yeah.

- Which backwards it would be, like,

"Holmes Sherlock, Mr. Night Good."

Is that right?

- Are you cheating?

- Is that right? - Yeah.

- Okay, okay, just a second.

What did you say?

- Are you cheating?

I feel your back moving a lot.

- I'm moving a little bit.

It's because I'm just thinking.

I'm just thinking.

Okay, let's try it again.

Go to another page,

a couple more pages forward, maybe,

just so that we're 100% sure

that you're on a new page and you're happy.

- Okay. - What page are you on now?

- I'm on another page.

I'm not so happy.

- Oh, which one?

- 136. - Oh, 136.

That's an excellent choice.

130...

Right about there.

136, 136.

Oh, it's on the left-hand side.

The first word, the largest word on that line

is the word "window," am I right?

- Yes.

- That's pretty amazing, isn't it?

Think about it. I just used my mind, Alyson.

In my mind, I was able to discern

exactly where they were.

Think about it, I mean, the chances of it.

I mean, look at the book.

Go to open up 137 again and take a peek.

Yeah, go ahead.

- I could feel you moving.

- Moving a whole bunch, yeah, yeah, it was my job.

137, and you can see--

- And I really don't think this is--

- See, I counted, one, two, three, four.

- That's a book.

- Yeah, I know there's a book.

- You know they have their eyes open.

- Oh, yeah, maybe I didn't understand the show.

I know it's supposed to be "Fool Us,"

but I was more enjoying fooling you.

- Well, I'm an easy target, but I'm not that--

- Should I share?

- Yes.

- My pages are blank.

The entire book is blank.

Did you like the glasses touch?

I thought the glasses touch was nice.

There's not even, like, glass in the glasses.

I just--

- Shawn Farquhar.

[cheers and applause]

That's crazy.

- Thank you.

- That was amazing.

- Did you want to look?

You can look. It's cool.

- That's-- there's nothing.

- Oh, we did that so that they could freak out.

- I'm freaking out.

First, I was like, does he have a mirror?

What's happening?

He's clearly cheating.

- Yeah, a mirror would have been a much better idea.

I should have used a mirror.

- Well, how do you come up with your tricks?

- Sleep deprivation.

- Oh, that's good.

- Yeah, I gave up sleep about four years ago,

and I travel a lot.

I basically live on airplanes.

And it's all changed

because of my time with Penn and Teller.

I'm amazed by how cool it was that people recognize me

all over just because of "Fool Us."

- That is so cool. - Really good.

- And so, do you really think

that you could possibly do it twice?

- No.

When I told my daughter that I was gonna go on the show,

she said, "Why?"

She said, "Do you think you can fool them twice?"

I said, "No, I really don't know if I could do that."

- That would be really cool.

- Yeah, but I'm not gonna hold my hopes,

because they're talking for a long time.

- Well, that's good, so maybe that's a good thing.

- They look very satisfied.

- Oh, oh.

- It's frightening.

- Ooh, that's an interesting look.

Penn, Teller, did he fool you?

- You rat bastard.

- Oh. - There he goes again.

- Is that a code word, or is that a good thing?

- Do you think you are playing with children?

- No, sir.

- There are people at home who are going,

"Oh, he switched the books."

And you're thinking, oh, Penn and Teller,

they're gonna say, "He switched the books."

And then you're gonna do something

like open up your coat

and show there's no other book there,

or you're gonna take off your shirt

or drop your pants,

or do something like that to show there's no other book.

Or maybe there is another book, and that's blank too,

just to make us look like fools.

But you, you pig dog.

Fool us once, shame on you.

Fool us twice, shame on us.

We think it actually is a memory trick,

and there was no book switch at all.

And there is certain kind of direction

on how many paragraphs and so on,

but a lot of that is in your head,

because you are wicked, wicked smart.

And we are jaded,

and we will not fall for your jive.

Bingo, we're done.

Get off the stage.

[cheers and applause]

- Wow, what does that mean?

Because I feel like if you did fool them,

they might take out a restraining order on you.

- I'm a little frightened to tell them,

but I can't remember my phone number.

- We didn't ask you your phone number.

We asked about Sherlock Holmes!

- There isn't any memory technique at all used.

- And there's no book switch?

- And there's no book switch either.

It's something else completely different.

- Oh!

Fool on you.

[laughter]

- Bring it down.

Bring the damn thing down.

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, my God.

- And you, sir...

you, sir, will be on this show again

over my dead body.

Never are you coming onto this stage again, ever.

We're done with you.

Go back to Canada.

- Yay!

Thank you so much, seriously.

- Awesome. - Amazing, man.

- Thank you so much. - Just so amazing.

- Seriously, thank you. - So amazing.

- That is so fantastic.

- Yay!

- Two-time fooler!

Shawn Farquhar!

Penn and Teller have been fooled.

Let's see if it can happen again when we come back.

- And make sure--make sure you have four cards

with all different fronts and the same backs

that you're willing to ruin.

And we'll do a trick for you in your home

at the end of the show.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

[jazz music]

[applause]

- Welcome back.

We've already had one act fool Penn and Teller.

Do I hear two?

Let's meet our next potential fooler.

- I'm Michael Kent from Columbus, Ohio.

I do a standup comedy magic show.

My show is really high-energy,

but I'm sort of a smart-ass.

Can I say that?

I think of it as, like, the magical embodiment

of a smirk.

When I was young, I was fascinated by magic,

but drumming was my main thing.

I think that learning to play the drums as a child

has really helped me learn magic.

You're teaching yourself how to learn on your own.

I'm performing a trick with a bottle of alcohol.

I know that Penn and Teller aren't big drinkers,

so I hope they'll be able to look past that

and enjoy it nonetheless.

[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome the comedy magic of Michael Kent.

[applause]

- Would you like to see something amazing?

Say, "Yeah."

all: Yeah!

- Oh, good.

This is a thing with a bottle and a glass.

And the idea is to get the bottle

and the glass to switch places.

I'm gonna do that using nothing but these two red tubes.

[laughs]

I can still do it.

It's okay.

Nothing but these two red tubes.

You cover the bottle, you cover the glass.

One the count of three-- one, two, three.

Nothing happens.

Unless you're cross-eyed. That was awesome.

It didn't work because I didn't say the magic words.

The magic words are "change."

Help me out.

all: Change!

- Louder!

all: Change!

- I feel like Obama.

all: Change!

- Let's see if it worked.

[gasps]

The bottle is now here.

[laughs]

The glass is now here.

That's the easy part.

The hard part is getting them to go back to where they were.

[laughter]

I need different magic words for that.

Let's say, "Make them go back."

all: Make them go back!

- Let's see if it worked.

What?

You did it. You did it.

Sometimes I can actually do this.

[audience reacts]

- I love that sound.

Let's do it again.

Remember, tube number one covers the bottle.

Tube number-- oh, sorry, my bad.

Sorry, sorry.

Tube number two covers the glass.

That's a bottle, that's a glass.

We'll do it again, we'll do it again.

Tube number one covers the bottle.

Tube number two-- sorry, sorry.

Tube number two covers the glass.

That's a bottle, that's a glass.

We'll do it one more time, using only one tube.

If you cover the glass, that becomes a bottle.

If you cover the bottle, that becomes a glass.

That means an extra bottle.

You put it right here. You don't let people see it.

If you cover the glass, that becomes a bottle.

If you cover the bottle, that becomes a glass.

That means an extra bottle.

That means you got to put it away.

Sometimes when I do this, I don't use any glasses.

If you don't use any glasses,

of course, you need to use two bottles.

We need an extra bottle. I don't know why,

but it fits with the theme of what I'm doing here.

There's another one here.

But if there's one here, there's one here.

There's one here, there's one here.

There's one here, there's a glass here.

There's a bottle here, there's a bottle there.

And that's the trick!

- Michael Kent!

Whoo!

That's fantastic.

Wow.

Will you come shopping with me?

- Yeah, seriously.

- It would make it so much easier.

- I was very popular in college, that's...

- I would say so.

Now, you told me a story backstage

about when you were doing a trick

and somebody wasn't a very good audience member.

- The strangest thing that ever happened to me.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I was--

I was bitten.

- Mm-hmm, and it was not a child, people.

- No, it was a grown human woman person.

The woman really wanted to see the coin that was in my hand,

and it wasn't time for that.

And so I pulled the hand behind my back.

The next thing I felt, she ran around me

and bit my hand.

- So weird.

- Have you ever been bitten acting?

- Well, I was on a show called "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

[cheers and applause]

But...you know. It was scripted.

- That makes sense. - And I think I did some biting.

So it was all rehearsed. It was good.

- Everything was even.

- On a happier note,

what's your dream, you know, sort of venue?

- Being live on stage

at the Rio All-Suites Hotel and Casino...

- In front of Penn and Teller.

- In front of Penn and Teller.

- Good answer.

- Yeah.

- Well, then, let's not make you wait any longer.

Let's go to your heroes.

- Okay, sure.

- Penn, Teller.

- Well, you know, this is--

this is a take on a classic

from the 19th century called Passe Passe Bottles.

Although, he's doing a later version of that.

But I want to really address something important here,

which is, there's this view that laypeople have,

and I think even some magicians have,

that real technical skill, sleight of hand skill,

is cards or coins, small stuff you manipulate,

and you can palm, and you can do all this.

With apparatus magic, they often think

that the props are doing the trick.

I want people to know how hard this is to do.

It's a really hard thing to handle.

The speed that you do that, the clarity, the cleanness,

not only of your-- obviously you're funny.

But everybody knows that.

And obviously you're likeable.

Everybody knows that.

What they may not know is, just handling those props.

If you told somebody, here are the props,

here's how it's done, here are the secrets,

they would still stumble through it for months.

And you just have a beautiful presentation.

You not only have bottles, you have too many bottles.

And, you know, I can see the label from here.

It's from the Brooke Winery, isn't it?

- No, it's...

- Ken Brooke made all that wine.

- Yeah, yeah, I think Ken Brooke did make

some of the wine, yes. Yeah, he does--yeah.

- But it's a great routine.

- Thank you very much.

I appreciate that.

- Okay, so are you convinced they know

how you did everything and that you didn't fool them?

- I did not fool Penn and Teller.

- Oh, well, you certainly impressed them,

and us as well.

- Thank you, I appreciate it. - Thank you so much.

Michael Kent, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

We're gonna take a break,

but we'll be right back with more magic,

including a performance by the legendary Penn and Teller.

Stay close.

[cheers and applause]

- Thanks for sticking around.

As a thank you, I give you our next magician.

- I'm Nathan Burton.

Since I was a little kid,

I knew I wanted to be a magician.

If you're a magician,

Las Vegas is the magic mecca of the world.

I'm very lucky that it's a family business.

I have my mom, who's in charge of accounting.

I got my sister,

who's in charge of the lighting, the sound.

My wife's in charge of the showgirls,

the choreography, the costumes.

And I actually have my son in the show.

He's in charge of being a baby.

My style is, I come out, I hit them hard.

I do some big stuff.

I make four showgirls appear out of an empty box,

the very first thing in my show.

Penn and Teller, we're bringing some big illusions,

bringing a couple showgirls.

And we might just fool you.

[cheers and applause]

- Please welcome Nathan Burton.

- Thank you very much.

Wow, thank you very much.

Well, it's a pleasure to be here.

And I got to tell you, growing up as a kid,

I got in all kinds of trouble growing up.

I remember on a Friday night, my friends and I,

we'd go to the local grocery store, go inside.

We'd buy maybe 100 rolls of toilet paper.

We'd load it up in the cart, we'd pay for it,

put it in our car, drive through the neighborhood,

look for our friend's house.

If no one was around, we'd take all the toilet paper,

throw it up in the trees.

And we used to call it TP-ing a house.

Well, the problem was, we couldn't do it fast enough.

So we came up with a little invention,

and I want to show it to you guys.

Here we go.

[intense music]

♪ ♪

Yes.

Please welcome to the stage the lovely Stacy.

Everybody say, "Hi, Stacy."

I have a little magic marker.

Stacy's gonna come out to Penn and Teller.

Kind of like a card trick.

I actually need, Penn, for you to sign Stacy

so we know there's no copies, there's no twins,

there's no duplicates. - Oh, my goodness.

- So please sign on her arm, anything you want.

You can change markers.

You can do whatever you want,

something that you'll recognize

so that you definitely know it's Stacy.

What is he gonna write?

[applause]

Come on up.

What did he write?

Aw, that's very cool.

Are you guys ready?

Let's do it, come on.

[upbeat funky music]

♪ ♪

Penn, please, verify the signature.

Oh, careful.

Verify, is that--

- Yes.

- Thank you very much.

[cheers and applause]

- Nathan Burton, everybody. - Good job.

- That was incredible, Nathan. - Alyson.

Thank you very much.

- Did you--you made all of that?

- Yeah, we make it in a shop here in town.

- I want to go to that shop.

- Do you want your own show in Vegas?

- No, I just want to make all that stuff

to really impress my friends.

And then your wife picks out--

- It's a family operation.

We have a little afternoon show in Vegas,

at Planet Hollywood.

And it's my family.

It's my mom, it's my sister, it's my wife,

and my brand-new baby boy, he's one years old.

He comes to the show, he watches the show.

And I put something new in the show,

and he doesn't like it.

- Oh. - He likes the old stuff.

- How can you tell your son doesn't like something?

- He doesn't watch it.

- Oh, maybe if you, like, put a teddy bear on it,

he'll like it.

- That's a good idea. Look at you.

- Yeah, and what were you like when you were a kid?

- Actually, I had a learning disability.

They actually gave me a test in school

to evaluate what kind of career,

what kind of job you should have,

and the results came back, and the teacher told me,

you need to pick a job where you do not speak

in public or in front of a large group of people.

- Oh, no. Yeah.

- So I hope she's watching.

- Oh.

Penn, Teller?

- Oh, my goodness, oh, my goodness, boy.

You know, we all work in Vegas.

Nathan works in Vegas here with us.

We know some of the same people.

So, actually, I know Stacy,

because we travel the same circuits.

So I know she's not a twin.

And also, I signed her,

which is a good solution to that

There's something very nifty about signing people, I think.

We also know-- and I bring this up often,

because it's important--

that there are no trap doors in that stage that you can use.

We know that.

So you have to do a lot of clever thinking on this,

and you sure did, sure did really clever thinking.

And, you know, because I know Stacy,

you know, and because Teller knows Stacy--

we've seen her work before,

although not in any trick like this--

you know, it was very hard to keep our eyes

moving around the stage.

We kept staring at her.

You know, I really didn't want Stacy to--

- I was hoping for that.

- I really didn't want Stacy to notice our stares.

You know, as we were staring at her,

both of us were,

we didn't want her to notice the stares,

thought that would have kind of ruined the trick a little bit.

And as far as the police officer in the toilet,

your strong political statement there...

[laughter]

- Hotel security guard.

- Hotel security guard. - Hotel security guard.

- Oh, sure, sure, that's okay, then.

We also have a little drawing on that one, too.

So Teller will come up and show you that.

And I'll come up and talk to Alyson

while we're doing that.

- That's okay, we've talked before.

I can just-- I really like his drawings.

- You know, once when I was in magic camp...

- Ugh.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- A lot of talking for someone who doesn't talk.

- A lot of talking for someone who doesn't talk.

Just a lot of chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter.

- Did he figure it out?

What's happened?

- These guys are pros.

- That's why they're on the side of a hotel.

[laughter]

- When we were designing this just for them,

we knew it was almost gonna be impossible to fool them,

and they know what's going on.

- All right, thank you so much.

Ladies and gentlemen, Nathan Burton.

[cheers and applause]

Don't go anywhere, because we've got more magic for you.

And remember, later in the show,

you get to do a trick with Penn and Teller.

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome back to "Fool Us."

I've got my cards ready.

Do you?

You're gonna need them if you want to do a trick

with Penn and Teller later in the show.

Meanwhile, it's time to meet our next act.

- My name is Nathan Coe Marsh.

I'm from Orlando, Florida.

I'm an entertainer, and have been for all my life.

Both my parents are artists,

so I grew up in a house

where you really felt like anything was possible.

I got my start doing magic in a small local comedy club.

Bunch of drunk people.

And learning to perform in that environment

made me able to go in front of really any group anywhere.

The most important element

is sitting right where my audience would be

and trying to give them what I would want

if I was sitting there.

The power of magic is that, when it's done well,

it gives people such an experience

that they're not used to,

that that mask that we tend to wear

just kind of falls away for just a second,

and we're really able to connect with people.

[rock music]

[cheers and applause]

- Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome Nathan Coe Marsh.

[cheers and applause]

- Such a thrill to be here on "Fool Us,"

where the most famous magicians you've never heard of

leave the safety of our parents' basements

for an epic showdown on TV.

In other words, this is the Hunger Games

for 32-year-old virgins.

And, ladies, just so you know, I'm 33.

We live in an amazing time.

I can get the answer to almost any question

by reaching in my pocket, giving my phone a couple taps.

But imagine technology's next step:

I want something, it just appears.

Tonight you're gonna be the first people to experience this.

You're gonna think of something.

My challenge is to make whatever it is you can imagine,

bearing in mind it's a family show, real.

But it must fit inside this glass jar.

Penn, Teller, if you would just kind of take a moment,

make sure there's no way in.

I'll leave it with you for a few moments.

Make sure there's no way in or out of the jar.

- Are we allowed to open it?

- Yes, please, absolutely.

By all means, yeah, make sure there's nothing in the jar

but the faint aroma of the Las Vegas strip.

And as they're doing that, I should emphasize,

no one here is in on this, nothing's been set up,

so that you guys know that we're gonna make the process

so random, it's completely out of my control.

Each of you has a card and a pencil.

I'd like you to think of something

that could fit inside our jar.

This could be a grape, a flower.

Danny DeVito.

If it's small enough to fit inside our jar,

that'll work for our purposes.

And as they're doing that,

Alyson, perhaps you would join me for a moment.

- Sure.

- So, we have many hundreds of possibilities, Alyson,

but we're only gonna need, like, 20 or 30.

So I'd like you to take this plate,

and please go out amongst the people.

Get, like, 20 or 30 of those back.

And I'll ask you back on stage in just a moment.

- All right.

- And as she's doing that,

Penn, Teller, how is our jar looking?

- Looks great, and it smells like--

- Smells good, yeah?

- Smells like root beer barrels.

- Oh, yeah, absolutely.

That's desperation you're smelling there.

The fragrance of Las Vegas.

And this is our target.

So whatever you guys dream up

will make itself inside this space.

I won't even touch it.

In fact, we're gonna leave it isolated

in a series of boxes about 10 feet off the ground.

So we got a jar inside a box, inside a box,

just about 17 feet above the earth.

And it looks like Alyson's got a fair number.

And, Alyson, perhaps you'll join me.

The people will show their love for you.

[applause]

It's a pleasure, welcome. It's good to see you.

And Alyson, yeah, please, yeah, just set it down

and step back into my office.

So we have hundreds of possibilities.

No, you can join, you can stay.

Can she stay, guys?

[cheers and applause]

She gets to stay. She gets to stay.

As random as we can be-- and, in fact, Alyson,

yeah, and let's step into the light, shall we?

And if you would just kind of turn your head,

reach inside, and grab one for us, Alyson,

and hold it tightly against yourself.

Just keep that card very nice and warm.

And as she's doing that, let's see what might have been,

because we have a few different possibilities here.

So we have dice, we have a dollar bill.

Not terribly ambitious.

Yahoo.

I'm not sure what that means, but...

Penn and Teller, I'd like you guys

to hold on to this as well,

so you make sure there are many different possibilities.

- Sure, of course. - Because had her fingers

moved just a little bit differently,

Alyson would be holding on to a different card.

And whatever Alyson's holding on to,

I have to make it real... in a jar...

25 feet...

[laughter]

above the earth.

And, Alyson, for the first time, what is our object?

Shall we take a look?

A golf ball.

And now for a meaningless dramatic gesture.

- Whew.

- It gets better, guys.

It gets better, it gets better.

[light rattling]

[applause]

Alyson, yeah, hold it up.

Show it to the people.

Show it to the people for us, Alyson.

In fact, if you would be so kind,

just kind of take the lid off

and drop the ball straight into my hand, Alyson.

Just kind of drop that straight--

Oh, check this out.

Here, take a finger.

Give it a tickle, Alyson.

Give it a tickle.

- A tickle, oh.

- It's a real solid golf ball, Alyson?

- Yes.

- And it's a real solid glass jar.

No way in or out of the jar, except through the top.

But the ball doesn't fit through the top.

So the only way this could happen

is if that ball came into existence

inside the jar.

[cheers and applause]

Penn, Teller, we have a gift for you gentlemen, as well.

- Thank you so much.

- That is amazing.

Nathan Coe Marsh, everybody.

That's incredible.

That is really amazing.

I just want to go, "Nuh-uh!"

All right, well, gentlemen,

stop playing with your balls.

And let's...

Let's talk to...

- Okay, wow.

Okay, there's a...

We don't believe in the supernatural.

We do not believe in the supernatural.

We are known for not believing in the supernatural.

But I think there was some work of the devil here.

I do think there was some work of the devil.

- We are acquainted, yes.

- Yes, there was some work of the devil.

You may have borrowed, actually,

a shirt or a tie or a handkerchief

from the devil, as a matter of fact,

in order to be able to do that.

Now, I was very interested

in the growing height of that pole.

- Yes.

- You started out saying it was 10 feet high.

- Yes. - Then it was 17 feet.

- Yes. - And then it was 25 feet.

And, yet, it seemed to me

to be getting lower instead of higher,

because to put that in there,

you needed the chair.

But to get it out, you just reached up,

because I think part of the pole

fell in a little bit to Harbin's ditch.

There was a little bit of a depression there

that fell in there,

that you needed the chair to get up,

but not to get it down.

So I think it was all the work of the devil.

- It was, 100%, 100%.

- And the golf ball in the jar...

I sure hope you can buy these things.

We don't know how you did that.

- There is a secret to that.

But you guys got so much of it, that we're good.

- Okay, thank you.

- Okay, so you agree that they know

everything there is to know?

- Yes, yes, absolutely.

- Well, thank you, Nathan Coe Marsh.

Everyone, thank you for entertaining us so much.

- Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys.

- Thank you.

[applause]

All right, this is your last chance.

Go find an old deck of cards and grab four of them.

When we come back,

you will be performing a card trick with Penn and Teller.

[cheers and applause]

- Normally, Penn and Teller perform tricks for you,

but tonight they're going to perform a trick with you.

Ladies and gentlemen, Penn and Teller.

- Get yourself four cards,

all different face, all same backs.

Teller's handing out a few right down there.

We're gonna do Penn and Teller's Love Ritual.

If you follow this perfectly, you will find love.

I don't care what kind of love you want.

You want romantic love, we got it for you.

You want familial love, we'll give it for you.

You want platonic love for some weird reason,

we'll give you that too.

This will find you love.

Take your four cards, do this at home.

We don't want to know the order.

We don't even want you to know the order.

Put them face-down just like this.

Mix them up a little bit, just mix them up.

Mix them up so you don't know what order the cards are in.

That's important.

Now, follow what we're doing carefully, okay?

Watch Teller or watch me, but hold them.

Landscape mode, parallel to the floor,

just like that, the long way.

Now fold them in half.

You got to weaken your backbone to find real love.

Fold them in half just like that.

Fold them perfectly, and then crease them.

And once you've creased them like that,

fold them back the other way and crease them again.

Now, it may look to you like all you're doing

is weakening the middle of these cards,

and that is all you're doing.

Keep folding them back and forth

till they're nice and weak in the middle.

All four of them, right together, just like that.

When they're nice and weak, you take them and you rip them,

as four all together, right down the middle,

just like that.

You get four half cards in one hand,

four half cards in the other.

You do not know the order of them.

We do not care what half you put on top of the other.

Put one half on top of the other, just like that.

Now, from now on, we're gonna call these half cards "cards."

Now, follow the directions carefully.

We're gonna start out really easy now, real easy.

Take the top card, put it on the bottom.

That's easy, right?

You didn't screw that up, did you?

No, you got that.

Okay, now take the top two cards.

Take those from the top, put them on the bottom.

Now it's gonna get a little more complicated,

brothers and sisters.

Fan them out so you can see all their backs, just like that.

And take the top three cards.

Be careful. They stick together.

The top three cards, just like that.

Do not put them on the bottom!

What are you, crazy?

Those top three cards,

we want to not know what order they're gonna be in for anybody.

We want to screw that up,

so put them somewhere in the middle.

You have a couple choices.

Put them somewhere in the middle.

Everybody's orders are getting differently, just like that.

They're all getting a little bit different in the order.

You all put them in a different place.

But now take that top card, that top card.

Do not look at it!

What are you, crazy?

Don't look a that top card.

But put it near your heart,

somewhere where it can feel your heart beat.

Put it right there, so close to your heart,

so close to your love, just like that.

Now, okay, now you're gonna take one, two, or three.

We don't care how many.

One, two, or three cards.

Take them from the top.

One, two, or three.

And put them somewhere in the middle.

We're just trying to get everybody

to be a little bit different,

because love is always unique, just like that.

Now, brothers and sisters,

you can't find love just inside yourself.

You cannot do it.

Take the top card and exchange it with somebody else.

Exchange it with somebody else.

It does not need to be someone you love.

It can be someone you hate.

[laughter]

- And take that card back.

That card is foreign.

That card doesn't match any other.

That card doesn't fit in, but that does not matter,

because love means accepting.

Put that card somewhere in the middle.

That's all you got to do, put it somewhere in the middle.

Now, no one's gonna see what you do here,

so you can be honest.

Take one, two, or three cards.

One, two, or three, one, two, or three.

One means your love life has been very, very bad.

Two means your love life has been pretty good.

And three means your love life has been spectacular.

No one will see how many you do.

But take that many cards, and throw them away.

Get rid of them.

We don't need them at all.

Get rid of them.

Throw them away.

Throw them in the trash can of bad love.

Now, you know, love takes time to...fester.

We're gonna take a symbolic week.

Mike Jones gonna help me here.

Tear the top card, call it Monday.

Put it on the bottom.

Next card, call it Tuesday.

Put it on the bottom.

Next card, call it Wednesday.

Put it on the bottom.

Next card, Thursday.

Put it on the bottom.

Friday, put it on the bottom.

Saturday, put it on the bottom.

And Sunday, put it on the bottom.

Now we all got a different number of cards.

They're all in a different order.

You even got a foreign card in there.

We have no idea what that order is.

But now we're gonna get down to one card,

but you have all different numbers,

all different numbers,

so some of you will stop earlier than others.

But keep going till you get down to one card.

Brothers and sisters, I'm gonna say, "Loves me."

When I say, "Loves me," you all say--

No, don't just say.

You scream, with all the love in your heart,

you scream, "Loves me!"

And take that card from the top

and put it on the bottom.

That could be the one.

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put that card on the bottom.

Now it gets a little bit sad.

I'm gonna say, "Loves me not."

When I say, "Loves me not," you say back--

or you don't say back.

You scream back, with all the loneliness in your soul,

you scream back, "Loves me not,"

and throw that card away.

That's bad love.

Loves me not!

all: Loves me not!

- In the trash it goes.

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put it on the bottom.

Loves me not.

all: Loves me not!

- Throw it away.

[jazzy piano music]

♪ ♪

That was Minnesota 1978, wasn't it?

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put it on the bottom.

Loves me not!

all: Loves me not!

- Swipe left!

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put it on the bottom.

Loves me not!

all: Loves me not!

- Break up by text.

Loves me!

all: Loves me!

- Put it on the bottom.

Loves me not!

all: Loves me not!

- You're all down to one.

Don't look at it!

Do not look at it.

Reach near your heart, pull out that other card.

Do not look at it.

Do not look at it.

Hold them back-to-back.

In just a moment, brothers and sisters,

I'm gonna say the word "now."

When I say the word "now,"

you turn those cards over.

If those cards match, you have found love.

And take it from your heart and scream to the heavens,

"I found love," and throw both hands over your head.

Are you ready?

Now!

all: I found love!

- Yes, you did, brothers and sisters.

You found love, didn't you?

You found love over here, you found love over there.

We all found love.

You found love, brothers and sisters.

You found your love.

Mike Jones on piano.

Stop, stop, Jonesy.

I see someone here didn't find love.

Did your cards not match?

What does that mean?

What does that mean, Jonesy?

- I don't know.

- Huh.

It certainly doesn't mean

you're too stupid to follow simple directions.

[laughter]

Ooh, I know.

It means you are gonna die bitter and alone.

That's what it means.

The rest of us found love, didn't we?

We found love, brothers and sisters.

We found love. Keep those cards forever.

Exchange them with someone.

We found love, we found love, we found love.

We all--

♪ ♪

Doesn't necessarily mean...

you're gonna die bitter and alone.

- Good.

I'm glad.

All right.

Now our night is complete.

Come back next week for more "Penn & Teller: Fool--"

"Fool Us."

[cheers and applause]