Original subtitles

You thought you could run from us, huh?

You're in for it now, loser.

Hey, dickhead.

Crank it, though. Who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck am I?

This is my neighborhood.

And if you don't get out of here right now, you're about to find out.

Oh, really?

Why wouldn't we know how to do that, Grandma?

Because I've been around a little bit. I know things.

Things that'll make your dick fly off.

What? You don't want to know what I know. I definitely don't. I don't think

I do. Whatever.

Get out of here, or I'll sell you.

You're lucky Grandma was here to save you.

I saw you laughing back there. You won't think it's funny. Bye, boys.

How'd you do that?

Oh, well, let's just say I know a thing or two about how to handle a bullet.

Now, tell me what happened.

They're just always picking on me at school, and I'm just getting humiliated.

I can't stand up for myself.

Well, sweetheart, if you don't stand up for yourself, nobody's gonna.

But how?

Well, I know a thing or two about this.

Look, I'll make you a deal.

You come over to my place, do a few chores for me, and I'll teach you

everything you need to know about how to handle those assholes.

You'd do that for me?

It'd be my pleasure.

Okay. Come on. Come here.

I'll tell you everything I know about them.

My house?

Don't bullshit me, Elias. It's a dump.

But that's okay.

You're gonna get this place so clean we can eat off the floor, right?

Yes, ma'am. You can count on me.

I was up all night thinking about all that intel you gave me. And I think I've

concocted the perfect plan to enact your revenge on these mama boys.

We're going to target their mothers.

Perfect

exterior.

But underneath lies a penchant for

snacks, fast food, smoking.

and downward-dogging her yoga students.

So many weaknesses to exploit.

But how do we exploit that?

Ah, my young apprentice, you're in love.

I was blessed enough to share the screen with one of the most powerful

yoga masters ever, and he taught me the exact

technique. We're going to use the long duck doll.

It contains so much power that just showing it to her is going to have

Nicole eating out of the palm of your hand.

And once you're in, we'll be able to turn her to our

needs.

Sound good?

Let's do it.

absolutely about that incorporating more fruit and vegetables into your diet

can work wonders

for aligning your chakras.

Oh, don't forget to say hi, Jake.

Namaste.

Hello?

Good afternoon, Miss Doshi.

I was calling to hopefully enroll my grandson, Elias.

In your class?

Is this Yame interested in yoga?

Well, not exactly.

It seems he's been having some trouble causing some difficulties among the

young ladies in his class.

Quite a stir, actually.

Oh, really?

Fascinating.

I'll be more than willing to help Elias to find his center through yoga.

When would you like him to begin?

How does Saturday morning sound?

Saturday it is.

I look forward to meeting Elias and assisting for his journey.

Wonderful, dearie. He'll be there.

Namaste, sister.

with some turning and also breathing.

You ready?

Okay. Move your hips up.

Breathing.

a lot of good things from your grandmother.

The girls in your school have things quite taken with you.

What's their secret?

Well, it wouldn't be a secret if I told you, Miss Doshi.

So, just watch.

Would you like to taste it? Does it bring you enlightenment?

No, no.

It's inappropriate for me to do something like that.

But you taught me so much in the session.

Allow me to return the favor.

Is that necessary?

You have to focus all of the chakra in your body and bring it to the pinnacle,

which is your pussy.

Fantastic!

It's so good.

No!

I'm so glad a yoga can bring us so close.

I know.

I'm so glad to achieve this in life.

Oh, my God.

My mother was right.

Can you show me?

I finally know why.

It's so pretty.

Let the chakra flow through your body.

Oh my god.

Yes, show me them all.

talking good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well,

Did you achieve your enlightenment?

I absolutely did.

a bowl shitter smell like a kitty litter box what really happened

all right i ran into the bullies again and well hey man what's up

well you thought you could outsmart us by taking the shortcut huh you guys just

leave me alone you think you could dodge us forever you gross man you're covered

in sweat you're looking a little hot johnny you know what this looks a little

hot Maybe we should cool them off. What are you talking about, man?

Let's get out of here, guys. Have fun cleaning that off, you fucking

whore.

I guess they said I needed to cool off.

Oh, sweetie.

Fucking crap.

Well, go on and get yourself cleaned.

There's some towels in the bathroom.

And while you're in there, it's pretty dirty. Why don't you go and clean it up

for me?

Yes, ma'am. All right? When you're back, I've got some clothes I want you to try

on. Okay.

I took forever.

All right, love.

Sit down and listen up.

I've done a little bit of recon.

I think I know what we're going to do.

Millet, the holier-than-thou mother of your boy, there's a little troubling

paradox.

Turns out, her husband, the pastor, is more devoted to his

work than he is to her.

I think we can exploit that.

Now, typically, these ladies who are so

prim and proper on the outside, they've got a little bit of a thing for a bad

boy. And you're going to be our bad boy.

I know. We're going to have to work on your look a little bit.

Because honestly, that whole Urkel thing that you walked in here with,

it isn't working.

Wardrobe Department.

Time to channel your inner rebel.

Being a bad boy is all about confidence and attitude.

Let's start with your posture.

Gonna need you to stand up tall, shoulders back, head held high.

You don't take nothing from no one.

Excellent.

A good start.

Now, let's work on your swagger.

You've got to walk like you've got places to go and people to see.

Okay? So, straightforward, like you're not taking anything from anyone.

Okay. Yeah, like that.

See, you do it.

Now you're getting somewhere.

Now, let's talk about attitude.

Bad boys are mysterious.

Unpredictable.

You don't follow the rules.

Keeper guessing.

Huh. Yeah. I do what I want, when I want.

Oh, now you're getting it.

Jeez.

You're a regular Luke Perry.

Who?

Hi, Fanny. Gen Z.

Well,

just trust me. It's going to work.

Now, we need to work on your speaking a little bit.

Actually, I think we're ready for the move.

The move?

Yeah. The move.

What? Grab my tits. Wait, what?

Come on, bad boy.

Get those hands on my titties.

Like that?

Is it dark?

Yeah. What else you got?

I mean... Like that?

No, no.

Squeeze. Okay.

Gently.

Oh. Like you're wringing out water from a sponge.

Am I doing okay?

Oh, yeah.

That's the ticket.

Oh, she's so touch-starved. She's going to be putty in your hands.

Oh, now you've got it.

So, you found me a liar.

You ever gone down on a girl?

What?

this is the outfit that's gonna work i mean you look great and i think this is

exactly what she's going to be susceptible to yeah right you see the

glasses good okay all right you got the smoke somewhere oh yeah

um

like this yeah oh yeah

for me of course i mean of course

I got it. All right. Now remember, you're going to louch, you're going to

cuss, just everything you can to make yourself so savable. All right?

Good. All right, you got this? I'm going to be around the side, okay? All right,

got it. Go for it.

What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?

School's for losers, Mrs. Morgan.

I got better things to do with my time.

Like smoking cigarettes?

Maybe I like living life on the edge.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

When was the last time you went to church, young man?

Save me on the sermon, please.

But if you want to pray for me, you can.

Wonderful.

inside. I'm sure I can pick a sermon or two that can help set you in the right

direction. Sounds good to me.

Welcome.

Thank you so much.

Come on, honey. Let's get comfortable.

Oh, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no

evil, for the Lord is with me.

Look, Millie, all this talk about fear and evil, it's kind of boring, don't you

think? A lion. The word of the Lord is to be respected.

Why don't you just want to, like, live a little, Millie?

When was the last time your husband took care of you?

I gave you a blessing.

My name is Mrs. Morgan.

And what my husband and I do is none of your business.

Your husband goes out to church and work all day and leaves you at home

all alone.

What if I took care of you?

I made an oath.

to serve my husband loyally and faithfully.

I'm a woman of God.

I think what God doesn't know won't hurt him.

Besides, he's all about forgiveness, right?

oh my god

Oh, my God, yes.

It's so good.

It's so good.

Oh my God.

I'm going to suck the evil spirit right out of you.

Demons, you be gone from this man.

I think I feel the blessings go through me.

There's many ways to serve the Lord, Elias.

It can be done through serving your community and your neighbor.

Do one to others as you wish they would

do one to you.

Ugh.

Yeah.

Give me every last

Oh, come on, man. Fuck you guys.

Listen, it's a big mistake trying to join karate class.

You'll never be a cobra.

And I saw the way you were looking at my mom. You stay away from her, you perv.

No, I wasn't. Yes, you were. Oh, come on, guys.

Stay out of the dojo.

Oh, jeez, man.

Hey, Mike.

Yeah, why now?

Stay away from my mom. I'm out of here. Punk.

I just got, you know, caught up in karate class.

Elias.

I know when you're bullshitting me. Stop it.

What happened?

It was those bullies again.

They said that I was looking at someone's mom or something and didn't

take too kindly to it.

This was all such a stupid idea.

Look where this kid got me.

Oh, Elias. I mean, these things.

Robin, it was a good idea, and... No, Dee.

Going to this stupid cry class was your idea.

Now look at this bullshit that I'm going through. This is so stupid.

Listen, young man.

I know you're upset, but lashing out is not the solution.

We need to work on solving this.

This is all such a stupid plan.

No.

No. Listen.

I've been where you are.

You need to get it together and push forward.

I think I got it this time. You trained a lot for this. Let me see you.

Absolutely. We did.

All right.

Make me proud of being there watching. All right. Okay. What was that technique

again? Okay.

So you're just going to use everything I taught you. And then when the time is

right, you focus your chi and do the golden bone technique.

Remember? Yes. Okay. All right. Got this. Focus.

You can do this.

All right. Okay. Make me proud.

Put me in there.

Do you want to take out the trash in your place?

Yeah, of course.

Christine, I challenge you to a full technical karate match.

Winner takes all.

Are you crazy, bro?

You're not going to fight my mom. You're going to fight me.

I didn't come here to deal with fish.

I came for the whole shark.

You've got some nerve. Can you all fry?

Okay.

I accept your challenge.

You win, I'll leave the dojo and never come back.

But if I win, your son leaves me alone for the rest of the school year.

Thank you.

Looks like the student has become the master, Elias.

Would you become my teacher?

Would you teach me all of your secrets?

Of course, Miss Sets.

Clear the room.

Stay an hour with my new top students.

um um

Oh my gosh.

I'm full.

That's it.

That's it.

That's it.

That's it. That's it.

It's so easy, I feel.

That's good.

Oh, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, fuck.

Mm.

That's it.

That's it.

Mm-hmm. Just like that. That's it.

Deep inside that tight little hole.

Oh, yeah.

Just like that.

That's it.

Show me the way.

Fuck you.

That's it.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, just like that.

Deep inside.

Oh, that's good.

Yes, it is.

Yes, yes.

Yes, you do it.

That's how I need it.

Oh, that's very good.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, what else do you know?

What else can you teach me?

I'll do anything to be as good as you are.

Well, I think the only true way to unlock your full potential is by

unlocking the devil's back door.

Yes, yes

Yes, yes

This is the devil's riding dragon.

Oh, there's the double back door.

Yes,

yes, yes.

Where'd that dragon need to go?

Right there inside the asshole.

Inside the old back door.

Oh, yeah.

Oh my god, you feel so good.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh,

baby.

Oh,

yes.

Just like that.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes,

I want to put you right back in my mouth. I don't want to taste you.

oh yes

oh

Oh, yes.

Oh, that's so good.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Who taught you this technique?

I'm a good old woman.

We know these things.

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

That's it.

That's it.

Yes, yes, yes.

Nice and slow.

Feel those tits wrapped around your heart.

I need you right back inside my asshole. That's why I need you.

Fuck yeah.

That's why I need it.

I need it right inside my asshole.

Nice hard fucking cock.

That's it.

That's it.

I want to pack up. I'm like... That's it.

Oh, yes.

That's good.

Oh,

yes.

Just like that, baby.

Fuck yeah.

Don't fucking tease me with that.

I want it. I fucking want it.

Oh, you, you, yes, that's that.

Mmm, yes.

Mmm, that's it.

Yes, yes.

Yes.

That's it.

Mmm. You better get on that car.

Yes.

Mmm.

Mmm.

I look forward to seeing you in the dojo.

Relax, Elias. You've got this. Just be yourself.

I know, Dee, but she's the prettiest girl in school.

How could she ever go out with a guy like me?

Oh, well, you're charming and funny and downright irresistible.

That's how.

Now, how did you ask her out?

I mean, I don't know. I kind of just... Bill took all the courage and asked her

for, like, dinner or something. And she actually said yes.

Well, of course she did.

Now, we've got to make sure that you're dressed in something so sharp and

handsome. I actually brought something over from my place.

Back from my old Hollywood place.

See, it's perfect.

Thank you.

Right? Oh, and one more thing.

She kept her teeth.

Yes. Oh, you're right. This is perfect. Thank you so much.

Thank you.

You're going to look so handsome.

You got this.

You got your flowers.

You look good.

Okay, she's going to like you.

You actually think she'd be with a loser like you?

You gotta be fucking kidding me, you fucking idiot.

What the... Are you... What's going on?

I... Can you... I mean, dude, like... Fucking flower, you're fucking big, man.

Come on, man.

Like, dude. Come on. Such a little stim.

Stim doesn't give hot enough.

You know what I mean? This is kind of harsh.

That is fucking... Man.

That's fucking embarrassing.

Come on.

He's hot enough. Let's get out of here.

Man. Elias?

What?

Oh, no.

How'd the date go?

It was humiliating.

Her boyfriend shows up with his phone.

Recording me and just humiliating me in front of her.

He said he was going to put it on social media. This is so embarrassing.

Oh, no.

Eli, I'm so sorry, sweetie.

But we can't let your bully get the best of you.

We have to fight back on this.

You're right.

I'm not going to let him get away with this.

I think I know just what to do.

to Gigi's office, dressed as a janitor. And you'll never believe what I

found. What'd you find?

You see all these receipts?

She's been embezzling from the PTA for quite some time.

They're nuts.

Okay. What do you suppose we do?

Well, here's my thought.

Do you go pay a little... visit to Gigi, you and I.

Elias and his mother.

Telling her exactly what it is we've visited to Gigi, you and I. She knows

what's good for her.

She'll have to do exactly what we said.

You're right, Dee.

It's time to put an end to Gigi and stop all of this once and for all.

Alright,

we should get ready.

Alright, I'll take my curlers off.

Probably going to be a cunt. These PTA types always are.

But remember, we have proof.

Don't let her count you.

In fact, just let me do the talking.

Oh, one more thing.

Remember today, without your neighbor, pretending I'm your mother. Got it? All

right.

Well, well, well.

What do we have here?

Elias and his... Grandmother, is it?

And his mother.

Why don't we cut the crap, Monsieur?

We all know what you've been up to.

And what exactly,

pray tell, do you think that I've been up to, my dear?

Well...

Embezzling from the PTA, for starters.

Oh, okay.

Care to explain to me that you're sick?

And don't bother trying to destroy them.

I have scams at home.

Those are... They've got to be fake.

Come on, we both know that's not true.

And that's plenty of evidence to take you to court.

Well, um...

it hasty right like what is it that i can what is it that i can do like i'm

sure we can come to some sort of an arrangement right like b what is it that

you want power fame money i'm sure what it is that i can do for you oh

it's not so much what you can do for me it's what you're going to do for my

or what you're working with.

You have got to be joking.

Oh.

Do I look like I'm joking?

No.

Get this party started.

She could show a bit more enthusiasm.

Don't you think?

Really? Yeah.

That's a bitch.

Mom. Don't you think you could try a little harder?

Okay.

I told you mommy was going to make it all better.

Only the best for my little boy.

So, just this and... Oh, no, there's so much more to it. Really?

You know, I've raised a horny little bastard here.

Michelle, you just...

You still like my mouth so bad, don't you baby?

You do this a lot?

Every chance I get.

You can taste his cock.

I mean,

have you seen this beautiful thing?

oh my god

How would you take off that dress?

You guys do this with other people?

Have a nice

car.

Oh, you like it when he hugs you.

Yes.

Oh, what's all that sound now?

I like this bitch better, I have to say.

Oh, that's it. You're really true.

Oh,

yes.

Oh, I can't breathe.

I wouldn't want you to miss either.

That was amazing. That was amazing.

She's enjoying this too, Mom.

You're going to take it off.

You might

come back to your own core.

Oh,

make my baby.

Thank you.

Oh my god!

Oh, God.

It's quite the motherfucker.

Oh, my

God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Nothing hotter in the world, right, baby?

Get off my dick.

Get off my dick.

oh my god it's so deep

He likes you, Miss Teal.

You guys might become very good friends.

He

has

that effect on ladies.

That's my sweet boy.

Amen.

She's using that too.

I mean,

I did raise a gentleman.

Didn't I, sweetheart?

Oh, he's definitely a giver.

Oh, that's so hot, Mom.

Oh,

yes. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Yeah.

His puss is lonely.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh,

yes. Yes.

I know you've got to be good.

I didn't get this nice house any other way, did you?

This is our feed cock.

And we always give these milkies what they want.

Don't we, baby?

Yes. Milkies.

Can't let people love us back.

Get to work.

anything oh my

god

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my

God. Oh, my God.

Yes, baby.

It's a nice teddy bear for you.

Oh my god, oh my god.

I think we need a little something to remember this by, huh?

Hi. Hi.

Oh,

how is everyone?

Thank you so much for coming out tonight and attending our PTA, positive PTA

meeting.

Hi, I'm Elia.

I think you know who I am.

You made it your mission to make my life in school A living hell.

You ridiculed me.

You beat me up.

Humiliated me.

But now it's my turn to humiliate you.

You see, I may have been the underdog, but that's not who I am anymore.

Now I've shown you what happens when you mess with me.

When you underestimate me.

Now, to all the bullies and the moms out there, consider this my final message.

I'm not to be fucked with.

And I'm a liar.

The real motherfucker.

That motherfucker.

Boy, so dead.