Original subtitles

(gentle holiday music)

(holiday music continues)

(gifts rustling)

(holiday music continues)

(door opening and squeaking) (footsteps thudding)

- Lisa! Wake up! - Wake up, Lisa!

- Go away! - He came! Santa came!

- There's so many presents! - Go away!

(holiday music continues)

I know you're still in here.

Get out!

(Lisa sighing) (door clicking)

(music builds)

(magical music)

(footsteps thudding down the stairs)

- Always the first one up on Christmas morning.

- It wasn't exactly my choice this year.

- (growling) I told you that I was sorry about that.

- Bill still sleeping? - Yeah.

Yeah, we went one more round before he finally crashed.

- What happened?

- He was outside waiting for me when I got home.

At 6 a.m.

- You didn't know he was coming?

- No.

He was worried about Mom.

And he was worried about me, worrying about Mom,

so he showed up.

'Cause he's him.

And I fucked it up, because I'm me.

(bright music)

Tree looks good.

You know, it looks like when we were kids and Santa came.

(both chuckling)

- I need a hot chocolate, you want a hot chocolate?

- Yes! Don't skimp on the marshmallows!

(gentle music)

(birds chirping) (bed rustling) (gentle music)

- Merry Christmas. - Oh, how awful.

No, go back, go back to sleep.

- No, I can't, I can't, Santa was here.

- Umpf.

- And he brought you something.

- No, this isn't what I asked for.

(yawning) I wanted an extra hour of sleep.

- Open it.

(both chuckling)

(birds chirping)

(gentle music)

- One for each of the kids.

- Marco...

- You are my Christmas.

Every day.

- And you are mine, but you didn't have to-

- It wasn't me. (gentle music)

It was Santa. (gentle music)

- I love Santa. (gentle music)

(lips smacking) (gentle music)

(clothing rustling)

(door clicking open)

(door clicking closed)

- You're leaving?

- I-I don't think I can deal with your parents.

- No one can deal with my parents.

- No, this isn't a joke, Lisa.

You know, you could of told me sooner

you told them about us.

- I would of told you if I knew you were coming!

- I was trying to do something nice.

- And you did something nice.

But just because it didn't work out exactly

like you wanted it, you don't have to leave.

(bathroom door clicking open and shut)

(Lisa sighing)

(kids scuffling)

- [Aldo] Ella!

- [Ella] I can't do this anymore!

- And what about the kids?

- The kids will be fine.

Tell them I went to the store!

They will open their presents, and they won't even notice.

- Of course they will!

Ella, come on, it's Christmas! - Yes!

And I should be joyful!

But you took that from me. You ruined it!

You ruined everything. - I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry. It will never happen again.

I prom... Don't you dare

make another promise you won't keep!

- I will keep it. I swear on the newborn baby Jesus.

I love you. I love you so much.

I would be nothing without you.

- Why most you always be so exaggerated?

- Who can I be but me?

(birds chirping)

(Ella sighing)

- What are you doing? - Making coffee.

(water running)

- This one's for you, Marco. It's got your name on it.

Marco?

- Marco? What's wrong? - It's nothing.

I was just remembering one Christmas

when Dino and I were kids.

My love, if you're missing him

you should invite him here and-

- Here? No way.

My parents go there, that's the way we do it.

- Okay.

- Did I just sound exactly like my dad?

- A little. - How?

- I spent my whole life trying not to be like him.

I don't wanna end up like him.

- My love.

You can't help being like him, it's in your genes.

But you you will never end up like him.

You're you. (gentle music)

You're a great husband and a wonderful father.

- And the sexiest man on the planet.

(Manuela chuckling) Right?

- Absolutely. - Right?

- Yeah, of course. (chuckling)

We�re in too deep... - Mm.

(door clicking and creaking)

- So you're sure you don't want a ride to the airport?

- Yeah, yeah. I've got Linda in a blue Prius coming.

- Bill? - Oh, Gia!

(Gia screaming) Oh, no way!

(both laughing)

Oh my God... Mira?

- Hi. - Holy cow.

Salvatore!

Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.

- Are you kidding me? - Cesco!

- Oh my god.

What, did you plan this? - No, this is all Bill.

- Ah! (stumbling for words)

Why don't you go ahead and cancel that, all right?

So what are we doing standing here?

Come on, let's sit down.

You, big man, over there.

(gentle music)

Oh... Guys! So good to see you guys. How we all doing?

Wait, wait, wait... Sophomore year?

- Killing it! - Chop!

- I'm killing first grade. - Yeah! (chuckling)

- This is better than Santa.

- Cesco? - Oh wow, man.

Um...

I'm-yeah I�m good, I've been better, though.

I had to break up with my girlfriend recently.

- So she's doing great. (chuckling)

- Oh my gosh, yeah. - I'm sorry to hear that, pal.

- No, I uh, I got a lot of good songs out of it, so...

- Well, uh... what are you waiting for?

I mean, come on. - Oh man, it's been so long.

I don't... He's really good at it.

- I know. - Oh, okay, man...

(guitar strumming)

It's called "Where I Wanna Be."

(guitar strumming)

? Came from a lot heartbreaks ?

- Lisa! You need to come!

Your mother, she won't open her eyes!

- Oh my god. - I'll call 9-1-1.

- 9-1-1? For what?

- You just said Grandma's not opening her eyes.

- Mom! Mom!

Mom! (Ella gasping)

(both gasping)

- What are you doing?

- Dad said you wouldn't open your eyes.

- What is the matter with you people?

Every time I shut my eyes you think I'm dead?

- We were just worried about you.

- Just let me sleep, okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

Okay. - Sleep.

(playful music) (Lisa exhaling)

- Seriously? You're psychotic.

- Why is Bill here?

- He's being a good husband, you should try it sometime.

- Now he's a good husband.

Yesterday they were getting divorced.

- Drink this. Want one? - No thanks.

(Lisa's phone dings)

- Where's Tano? - Sleeping probably,

since no one woke him up.

- Shut it baby, I already said I was sorry.

- Sorry for what?

- Right now? Existing.

(birds chirping)

(door clicking)

(birds chirping)

(phone buttons clicking)

- [Sarah VO] You're an angel.

- Well, not in this time zone.

- I saw Tano. - He told me.

- Did you know that he's still with Nisha?

What am I saying? Of course you do.

Why didn't you tell me?

- Well back when we were in touch, they'd broken up.

They got back together.

- So you're friends with her now?

- Do you want me to lie? - [Sarah] Yes.

- I hate her.

(both chuckling)

(Sarah deep exhale)

- He saw Ellie.

- I know.

- And now, he's emailing saying, "We need to talk."

- Sarah, take a deep breath.

(Sarah breathing deeply)

Did you answer his email?

- No. - Then don't.

Forget this ever happened.

Just have Christmas with your family, live your life.

This will pass.

- How can it possibly pass?

- Because it's Tano.

- Right. (chuckling)

- Exactly. (birds chirping)

Ellie's good? - She's great.

- And you? - I was fine...

Until yesterday. - Yesterday never happened.

- I miss you. (birds chirping)

- I miss you, too, beauty.

Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

(birds chirping)

(end call button clicking.

- Uh-uh, not yet. (soft holiday music)

You can look, but wait for your brother and sister.

(wrappings rustling)

- Good morning. - Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas. - Is that coffee?

- Yeah. - You're too young for coffee.

- Yeah, you're too young.

- There was no hot chocolate left. They took it all.

- Tano, come! We want to open the presents.

- Yeah, T! Get in here before I kill someone!

- Oh! What the hell kind of thing is this to say?

- Is that the way to talk in front of your brothers?

? Lisa's in trouble, Lisa's in trouble ?

? Lisa's in trouble ?

- Shut up, you little creeps. - Lisa!

- Me? What about them?

You never care what they do, it is so unfair!

- Well! This is a lovely way to start Christmas.

(soft holiday music)

(distant family members laughing)

(Nisha chuckling and whispering)

- You're up. - Everyone's up.

They're all downstairs already.

We should get down there.

- Aw, it's still early.

- Come on, it's my first Christmas with your family.

I want to be there for the whole thing.

- Well I have been there for all of them.

And trust me, you don't. (Nisha chuckling)

- Tano!

- Okay, okay, I'm getting up.

Hey! - What?

- This is our first Christmas morning together.

(gentle music)

Merry Christmas. - Mm... Merry Christmas!

Mm, mm, mm.

- [Both] Mm, mm, mm, mm.

(gentle music)

Let's go join the fun!

(Tano sighing)

(gentle music)

(door clicking closed) (Tano sighing)

(gentle music)

- That other one? What was the other one's name?

(family indistinctly chattering)

- Hey! Merry Christmas! - Tano!

- Hey, look! Tano's here!

- It's a Christmas miracle! (all chuckling)

- Merry Christmas! - Oh!

- Merry Christmas.

- You guys want coffee? - God, yes.

- Decaf for me, please. - Please, take my seat.

(gentle music)

- Hi. - Ah, okay!

- Merry Christmas.

- And where you going?

The kids want to open their presents.

- Okay Dad, relax. - Relax, my ass.

It's 10:30, your mother and I go to lunch at Dino's at one.

- Yeah, that's your problem. - My problem?

What the hell kind of thing is that to say?

- Hey! (chuckling) No swearing on Christmas, Nonno.

- Yeah, no swearing on Christmas.

- I can tell it's Christmas, everyone's fighting.

- You're up? - Yes, I'm up.

When have I ever not been up on Christmas?

Is that Bill? - Yes! He surprised us.

Isn't it great? - I don't know, is it?

(Bill chuckling) - Merry Christmas, Ella.

(pecking kiss)

- We will talk later.

And Nisha's here.

- Nisha was here last night, Mom.

- Yeah, she sat right next to you at the table, remember?

- Of course I remember. I just forgot.

- Ella, this is Mira, my daughter.

- Mom, she met me last night.

- This is your daughter? She looks nothing like you!

- Mom! - Cappuccino?

- Oh, please. Thank you, sweetheart.

- One Christmas cappuccino coming right up.

- Hey, we need to open the presents.

- Presents! Presents! You sound like a child.

(quiet holiday music)

(spoon tapping)

(distant family voices chattering)

(utensils rattling)

(distant family voices chattering)

(quiet holiday music)

(machine whirring)

- It's the one you wanted. Do you like it?

- Yeah. I'm gonna make one today.

- After church.

In the basement. No getting wax on the carpets.

And you, Tano, do you like your gift?

- Yeah, not sure I'll really use them, though.

- What do you mean? You drive.

- Yeah, Mom's station wagon.

Not exactly a driving gloves car.

- You're right.

Here, give them back and take this.

- No, no, it's fine. I'll save them.

- [Mom] Take it! - Open it.

- Okay, geez.

(card rustling) (soft music)

- What is this?

- Ah! It's the wrong side, turn it!

- You folded it backwards?

For god's sake, Aldo, I asked you to do one thing.

- This car? You got me this car?

- It delivers next week. Merry Christmas.

- And, happy early birthday.

- Oh my god! Oh my god! Thank you!

Thank you, thank you!

- He got a car? - Yes.

And when you're his age... I won't get one.

Just like I didn't get 10 presents when I was their age.

The boys in this family get everything.

Even though girls are the same as boys now

in the whole rest of the world.

(Young Marco squealing in pain)

- What happened? - Oh god, dear god?

- What did you do? What did you do?

- Nothing. - Where? Is it your arm?

Let me see. - I didn't mean it.

- Get some ice. - What ice?

We're taking him to the hospital.

- Aldo? - Dad, we're in our pajamas.

- Who gives a damn?

Get the coats and the keys!

Goddamn it! - Sorry!

- It's okay, you didn't mean it.

- [Young Marco] He did, he did mean it.

- [Young Dino] I didn't!

(soft Christmas hymn)

(all chuckling) (soft piano music)

(family softly chattering)

(Bill chuckling)

(phone chiming)

- Ah! It's Dino. Eh.

Merry Christmas!

Yeah?

Oh okay, yeah, oh. One o'clock, okay, yeah.

Talk to Tano.

(quiet Christmas music) (Tano sighs)

- Hey, Dino. - What's wrong?

- Nothing, nothing, nothing.

- Well, why did you give the phone to Tano?

- They want to know what we want for lunch.

How the hell do I know?

- What you want? He's taking requests now?

- No, no, no.

They're ordering from the Chinese place we like.

- Chinese food on Christmas? Did they convert or something?

(Aldo chuckling)

- Cesco, that's racist.

- No, it's not.

It's a tradition that started

in Manhattan 100 years ago, actually.

And if I meant it as a slur, which I didn't,

it would be antisemitic, not racist,

you Instagram-obsessed blind liberal.

(quiet Christmas music)

- Okay, all set.

- So, was it pineapple chicken or beef and pea pods?

- Both, actually. - Great. (chuckling)

We eat leftovers tomorrow.

- Awesome! We'll feast on seafood risotto,

and you and Mom can eat congealed Chinese food.

- All right. We're done with the presents.

Time to make lunch. - Wait!

There's still one left to open.

- Oh? - Is it for me?

- Sweetheart...

What, what could you possibly still want?

- I don't know... Something?

(all chuckling)

- Nisha is here with us for the first time.

So...

I wanted to make it memorable.

(soft mysterious music)

- Ella! Ella! - Oh my god!

- Ella! - My god!

(excited crossover speaking)

- Call an ambulance! - Get Mom!

- Screw the ambulance. I'll get my keys, I'll take her.

- Marco, come get Mom.

Dad, get out of the way. - [Aldo] Holy Mother.

(crosstalk drains out dialogue) Holy Mother Mary...

- [Lisa] Nice and easy. You guys, go find my purse.

("Something Better Than This" by Julie Neumark)

? I need what I don't need ?

? I need what I want ?

- I'll call you when we get there.

Love you guys.

? I need to be feeling something other than numb ?

? I need to come over ?

? I need to be held ?

? I need an explosion ?

? To break this goddamn spell ?

? I need, I need, I need, I need, I need ?

? Something better than this ?

(car doors slamming)

? Something better than this ?

- You will be okay.

? Something better than this ?

- [Young Dino] I�m sorry. (Young Marco sobbing)

? Whoa, oh, oh, oh ?

? Something better than this ?

- She'll be okay.

? Something better than this ?

? Something better than this ?

? Whoa, oh, oh, oh ?

? I need a companion ?

? Take me out of my head ?

? I wanna feel my body laying next to you ?

? In my bed ?

? I need a distraction ?

? I need an escape ?

? I need it now ?

? Right now, I don't think I can wait ?

? I need, I need, I need, I need, I need ?

? Something better than this ?

? (Something better than) ?

? Something better than this ?

? (Something better than) ?

? Something better than this ?

? (Something better than) ?

? Whoa, oh, oh, oh ?

? (Something better than this) ?

? Something better than this ?

? (Something better than) ?

? Something better than this ?

? (Something better than) ?

? Something better than this ?

? (Something better than) ?

? Whoa, oh, oh, oh ?

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