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1
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,445
Have you seen this?
2
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,682
That's Kevin Jesquire.
We work together.
3
00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,491
I know. He was just arrested
for selling trade secrets...
4
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,610
...to a rival pharmaceutical company.
It's all over the news.
5
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,923
Holy shit. That's the reason
my company went under.
6
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,889
That's why my boss killed himself.
7
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:32,567
Terrible. Everyone is trying to
get an interview with this guy's lawyer.
8
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:35,969
But he's turning them all down.
Well, under the circumstances...
9
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,451
The lawyer's your dad.
10
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,128
An exclusive like this could really
get my career back on track.
11
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,969
Yeah, well, the thing is my dad
and I don't really talk much anymore, so...
12
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,406
I understand.
13
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,325
It's just that ever since
I freaked out on the air...
14
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:56,486
...and that whole squishy-tits thing
went viral, my career is just a total joke.
15
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,644
I shouldn't be complaining to you.
It's not like it's your fault.
16
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,161
Or is it?
17
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,800
I'm the idiot who
skipped lunch that day.
18
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,970
I still can't believe that low
blood sugar could do that to you.
19
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,407
Squishy tits. Squishy tits.
20
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,608
Squish, squish, squishy, tit, tit, tits
21
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,609
Squish, squish, squishy
Tit, tit, tits
22
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:14,926
Oh, Wilfred.
23
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,321
He's always trying
to make me feel better.
24
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:18,920
What happened to his face?
25
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,004
Oh, he's been wandering into
Gene's garden lately.
26
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,527
I think he scratched himself
on some rose bushes.
27
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,128
Ahh! I gotta run. I got my
next assignment for The Squish.
28
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,005
The Squish?
It's this stupid 30-second segment...
29
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,525
...they're making me do now.
30
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,571
Today I'm profiling a guy who claims
to have the largest forehead in Glendale.
31
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:40,807
I'm sorry.
32
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:44,806
Hey, I'm just one great story away
from a comeback, right? Heh.
33
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,126
Jenna!
34
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,011
I'll ask my dad.
35
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,730
Really?
36
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,041
It's worth a shot.
37
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:03,044
Oh, God. Heh, thank you so much. Heh.
38
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,326
You're the best.
39
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,447
You're not actually gonna
call your dad, are you?
40
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:09,681
I don't want to.
41
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,411
But the least I can do
is help her get a big story.
42
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,166
I'm the one who left that
stupid pot candy lying around.
43
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,488
She's beating herself up
for my mistake.
44
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:20,564
If you wanna make her feel better,
just tell her the truth.
45
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,724
After everything she's been through?
She'd never forgive me.
46
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,087
Since when are you
the poster boy for honesty?
47
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,810
Rose bushes didn't do that.
48
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,685
Okay, look, I didn't wanna bring it up
in front of Jenna...
49
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:35,926
...but I got into a little scuffle with several
members of our Dobie community.
50
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,969
Uh... Oh, I'm sorry. Doberman.
51
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:39,326
"Dobie" is their word.
52
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,562
I haven't seen Dobermans
in the neighborhood.
53
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,764
They're fast, Ryan.
Three of the bastards jumped me...
54
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:48,527
...whilst I was in the back alley
taking the trash out of the trash.
55
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,810
I gave as good as I got,
but in the end, I was simply outnumbered.
56
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,443
Looks like they've struck at the very heart
of our cat community also.
57
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,080
What, so you're just gonna
blame them for everything?
58
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,090
Ryan, if I'm quick to point pads
at Dobies...
59
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,489
...it's not because they're a vicious,
poorly-trained mongrel breed...
60
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,927
...who fail to assimilate
and hunt in packs, okay?
61
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:10,850
It's because they're black.
62
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,449
So then another Dobie comes up
and I'm like, snap-kick, smash.
63
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,968
Then another Dobie's like, scratch.
That's how I got this. I'm like: Bang!
64
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,730
Two Dobies come up
from behind.
65
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,360
And I'm like, reverse double fist: Bang!
Hold on.
66
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,124
There were five Dobies?
Yeah.
67
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,806
You said three Dobies.
What's the difference?
68
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,281
Two Dobies.
It's not a numbers game, Ryan.
69
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,729
What did you say?
It's not a numbers game.
70
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:33,927
No, after that.
71
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,487
Did you hear that?
72
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,051
No.
73
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,329
Wilfred, is there a cat
in here?
74
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,047
What have you done?
75
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,647
It's not what I've done, Ryan.
76
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,565
It's what I'm going to do.
77
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,570
What the hell is that?
78
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,961
Oh, you didn't know that was there?
No.
79
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,646
Well, I guess there's a lot of things
you don't know.
80
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:03,004
For instance, did you know
there's a coin behind your ear?
81
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,241
Uh...
82
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,688
It was just the way the light
was reflecting off the back of your ear.
83
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,771
Anyway...
84
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,364
Is that the cat
from the poster?
85
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,484
What the hell is going on?
86
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,688
Why are there cats in a pit
in my basement?
87
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,171
Why, Ryan?
88
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,807
Because they took everything from me.
89
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,844
Do you remember the scratch
on my face, Ryan?
90
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,202
The one that's still there? Yes.
91
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,610
It wasn't done by Dobies.
92
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,808
Yeah, I got that.
93
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,611
I was in Gene's garden.
That much is true.
94
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,923
His green lawn lay freshly mowed.
95
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,368
Sprinkler rainbows dazzling in the sun.
96
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,450
A fluffy tail swaying in the breeze.
97
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,008
A welcoming purr.
98
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,051
An invitation? A game?
99
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:09,965
I wagged my tail and smiled
on approach.
100
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,400
That's when...
101
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,247
...a hiss, a scratch, so fast...
102
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:22,447
...open paws, smacks to the face,
again and again.
103
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,921
I just wanted it to stop.
104
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,924
And all I could hear
was the words of my attacker:
105
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,763
Well, who's meowing now, bitches?!
106
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,446
There are six cats in there.
Which one scratched you?
107
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,683
Doesn't matter, Ryan.
They've all scratched someone.
108
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:43,842
So, what are you planning to do?
109
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,490
Kill them.
110
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:50,567
But first, I will torture them
by driving them insane.
111
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,204
Pitiful fools.
112
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,682
Oh, you want the string,
but you'll never catch it.
113
00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,126
Look at them, Ryan.
114
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,611
They're losing their minds.
115
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,969
Wilfred, these are pets.
People will be looking for them.
116
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,884
They're cats, Ryan. No one cares.
117
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:11,171
Six cats missing in the same neighborhood.
That doesn't happen every day. It's...
118
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,209
...a big deal.
119
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,808
The string of disappearing cats struck fear into
the hearts of animal lovers in this community.
120
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,486
We can only wait
and pray for their safe return.
121
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,722
In Venice Beach, I'm Jenna Mueller.
122
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,611
And this is The Squish.
And cut.
123
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,410
Nice job, Squishy T.
124
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,483
Thanks, Rob.
125
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,608
That was gripping.
Very dramatic.
126
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,286
Come on, Ryan.
It's a missing pet story.
127
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,649
It's one step above
a preschool head lice outbreak.
128
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,167
But thanks for suggesting it.
129
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,650
Have you heard from your dad yet?
130
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:51,526
Yeah. He said no. Sorry.
131
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,802
Another lie, Ryan?
That's okay.
132
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:57,009
It's probably a sign that
I should be getting out of this business.
133
00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,323
I have a cousin in Long Beach
who sells sleep apnea machines.
134
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,682
She says they're always looking
for new reps.
135
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:04,850
But this job is your dream.
136
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,844
Well, maybe it's time that I face reality.
137
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,764
Tits, let's move.
138
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:11,846
Well, don't give up.
139
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,765
Maybe this cat story
will develop into something.
140
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,888
Like what?
I don't know.
141
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:20,209
Maybe there'll be a feel-good ending.
All the cats are found safe.
142
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,522
Or sex butchered by a psychopath.
143
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,045
I guess.
144
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,404
Wow, missing cats turn up
totally unmurdered.
145
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:30,641
Stop the presses.
146
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,842
It'll keep the story alive.
147
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,243
As soon as it gets dark,
we're releasing those cats.
148
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,086
Uh, I don't get it, Wilfred.
149
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,641
If you were really gonna kill them,
why not do it?
150
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,325
Why keep them in a pit?
151
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,046
Because I'm fattening them up
to make a cat suit out of their fur.
152
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,041
What? Why?
153
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,567
Ryan, someone needs
to show the cat community...
154
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,405
...what happens when
you go around scratching dogs.
155
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:58,201
Plus, imagine how hilarious
I'd look wearing a full-bodied animal suit.
156
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,203
Yeah, well,
that's not gonna happen.
157
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,566
Oh, Ryan.
158
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,690
You really believe that, don't you?
Heh. Adorable.
159
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,090
- Hey, Jenna.
- Oh, my God, Ryan.
160
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,925
You won't believe who just e-mailed me.
Some psychopath...
161
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,242
...who claims he has the missing cats.
What'?
162
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,085
First I thought it was some
YouTube creep pranking me.
163
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,208
But he sent me a picture of them as proof.
164
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,601
He's for real.
165
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:27,930
How about that'?
It gets better.
166
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,368
He's planning to record himself
sex butchering the cats.
167
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,285
I mean, I feel bad for them,
but he's sending me the video.
168
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:38,604
And I am gonna be the lead story
on every broadcast tomorrow.
169
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,603
And it's all thanks to you.
170
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,964
Pfft. Jenna already told her producer
about the cat-killer video.
171
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,407
Her piece is slotted
for tomorrow's broadcast.
172
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,449
I hope you're happy.
I am happy.
173
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,840
It's a perfect plan.
174
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,209
Jenna gets her story, the cats die,
and you get your nuts flicked.
175
00:08:58,600 --> 00:08:59,726
What is wrong with you?
176
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,644
There is no cat-killer video.
177
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,805
Jenna's gonna be humiliated all over again
and this time, she'll give up her dream.
178
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:09,009
Maybe she wouldn't be so hard
on herself if someone came clean...
179
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,323
...and told her she's not responsible
for destroying her own career.
180
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,724
We're making the cat-killer video, aren't we?
We are.
181
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,649
This is just the beginning.
182
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,009
I will not rest
until every cat in Venice is dead.
183
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,446
Cut!
184
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,169
Everybody take five.
185
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,285
I'm just not feeling it, mate. Um...
186
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,489
Where are you?
Because you're not here.
187
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:38,806
This is stupid.
188
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,405
Can I say my lines
and get this over with?
189
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,683
This is what I'm talking about.
Think about who this psychopath is.
190
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,569
Let's just do this.
191
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,163
Everybody set.
192
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,761
And...
193
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,327
...action.
194
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:56,686
This is just the begin...
195
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:57,841
Cut!
196
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,649
Okay, uh, you've done
the naturalistic shit now.
197
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,882
Well, it's not shit,
but you've done that now.
198
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,651
Just for the hell of it,
let's do one really big.
199
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,007
Like, if that was a four,
give me a 10. Yeah.
200
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,691
And action.
201
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,041
This is just the beginning.
202
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,406
Bigger, please, Ryan.
203
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:22,451
I will not rest until every cat
in Venice is dead!
204
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,849
Bigger, Ryan.
Then I will move to my ultimate goal...
205
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,889
Bigger, mate.
...of making earrings...
206
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:32,011
...out of the bronzed testicles
of every postal worker...
207
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,731
...in the greater Los Angeles area!
208
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:42,287
And now let the first blood
be spilled.
209
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:43,805
Cut!
Whoa!
210
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,088
You don't say "cut." I say "cut."
211
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,720
Unless I say "action" and then you cut.
212
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,487
We're not using real cats for this.
Ryan, this needs to look authentic.
213
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,847
This will look fine.
Okay, do it your way.
214
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,124
Since you can do it and see it
through the camera at same time.
215
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,044
I'm just a dickhead
in a trucker cap.
216
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,611
Look, I'm not killing any cats for...
217
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,086
Goddamn you!
218
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,607
I'm trying to help you here!
You understand that?!
219
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,524
I'm being a goddamn collaborator!
220
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:11,287
I'm trying to help you figure out
your goddamn picture, okay, bitch?
221
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,643
I'm not here to be goddamn yelled at!
222
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:19,445
Been working on this goddamned
thing for three goddamn hours...
223
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:24,288
...not to be yelled at by some little runt
in front of the goddamn crew!
224
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:28,128
I'm trying to help you,
you goddamn bitch!
225
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,487
Figure it out yourself!
226
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,568
Goddamn it!
227
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,722
You want my help,
you don't want my help!
228
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,649
You're wasting everybody's time!
229
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,205
Sorry, everyone!
230
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,727
Supposed to be
a goddamn grownup!
231
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,646
You're a goddamn grownup!
232
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,882
You're not a goddamn baby!
233
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,884
You're a goddamn grownup!
act like a grownup!
234
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,010
When I'm trying
to goddamn help you!
235
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:54,567
Did I yell at you?
236
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,484
Did I goddamn yell at you?!
No.
237
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:57,801
Before right now?!
No.
238
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,122
No, I didn't goddamn yell at you!
239
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,482
Not before right now!
240
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,847
You goddamn slut!
241
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,926
Fine, let's shoot it with the stunt cats.
Okay, Bear?
242
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,242
Oh, you started editing without me.
243
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,731
Yeah, uh, I would have waited...
244
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:27,488
...but your e-mail to Jenna promised it
in time for the noon news, so...
245
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,323
Gee, you're a whiz with that clicker.
It's called a mouse.
246
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,524
Funny name for it, isn't it?
Not really.
247
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,320
That music is just temporary, yeah?
248
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,642
No, that's the music.
249
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,691
Really?
250
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,444
And now let the first blood be spilled.
251
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,125
Your performance
is off there.
252
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,124
Let's look at the other takes.
The performance is fine.
253
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,200
If you do say so yourself. Heh.
254
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,887
Wow, lot of clicking, huh?
255
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:08,884
Well, yeah, look, I think I'm just getting
in the way here, so I should probably...
256
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,442
Man, you really are clicking
the shit out of that mouse, aren't you?
257
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:17,121
Anyway, well, uh,
good luck with the video, mate.
258
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,606
What's wrong?
I got the video.
259
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,726
Really?
260
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,407
My sad little angel
261
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,211
With a heart full of pain
262
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,287
Comfort seems so far
263
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,410
In the cold winter rain
264
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:55,925
Let me kiss away your tears
265
00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:03,845
Let me hug away your fears
266
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,851
Let me chase away the sad...
267
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,127
It just goes on like that
for another 40 minutes.
268
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,248
Jenna, L-
Love it
269
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,129
It's a masterpiece.
270
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,406
It was all a joke.
271
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,364
Stupid little Squishy Tits fell for it.
272
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,961
Some journalist I am, huh?
273
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,561
Uh, Jenna...
I'm done.
274
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,289
You reedited the video?
275
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,569
Why didn't you use the stuff we shot?
You were just too big.
276
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,960
How could you?
277
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,645
She's gonna quit her job.
278
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:47,647
She's worked so hard to get to where
she is and it's all ruined, all because of...
279
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,760
All because of me.
280
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,287
You have to tell her
it's not her fault.
281
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,811
She's gonna hate me.
282
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,163
Maybe, maybe not.
283
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,483
Honesty has a way of making things
work out for the best.
284
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,448
But what if it doesn't?
285
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:14,049
Mate, you weren't honest with Amanda
and you lost her.
286
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,005
Why not try it another way?
287
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,164
Jenna, wait.
288
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,646
What's wrong?
289
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,720
The day you lost it on the air...
290
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,091
...you ate a piece of candy at my house.
291
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,601
Yeah, I was hungry. I skipped lunch.
292
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,330
It was pot candy.
293
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,201
You were stoned.
294
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,801
What?
295
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,365
I'm sorry.
296
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,047
I didn't realize it
until it was too late to warn you.
297
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,647
Jenna, you're a good journalist.
You can't quit.
298
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,126
But I passed a drug test.
299
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,609
I switched the urine.
300
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,043
That's why you thought you
were pregnant. I used Kristen's pee.
301
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,407
Oh, my God. Wha...?
302
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,884
That's why Drew and I...
There's more.
303
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,964
To get your job back, I blackmailed your boss.
Just stop.
304
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:07,364
Jenna, I swear, I never meant to...
No, no, just stay away from me!
305
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,807
Wilfred, come!
306
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,051
You told me if I was honest,
everything would work out.
307
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,891
I really thought it would, mate.
308
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,166
- Honest.
- Wilfred!
309
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,765
Again, two pieces of candy.
One is harmless. One is drugs.
310
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:38,003
Can you tell the difference?
Can your children tell the difference?
311
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,084
Because I couldn't and the consequences
for me were devastating.
312
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,049
It nearly cost me everything.
313
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,170
My job, my reputation
and my peace of mind.
314
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,449
Something needs to be done
to prevent this from happening again.
315
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,444
In Venice Beach,
I'm Jenna Mueller.
316
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,762
That was a great report.
317
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,364
Jenna will never speak
to me again...
318
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,444
...but at least something good has
come out of all this.
319
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,523
Time heals all wounds, Ryan.
320
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,762
That's what healed the scratch
on my cheek.
321
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,760
Time, love
and a little bacterial cream.
322
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,805
Hey, what are you doing?
323
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,931
I'm returning the cats.
There's no reason to keep them.
324
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:18,448
I was literally just about to kill them.
You're cuddling with that cat.
325
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:22,247
I'm lulling it into a false sense
of security.
326
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:24,961
That tickles.
327
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,721
You are naughty.
328
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,803
And you are silly.
329
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,964
Wilfred, it's obvious
that you love them.
330
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,010
Love? Are you kidding?
331
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,851
Uh, did you not just hear me call
Mr. Snuggles naughty...
332
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,331
...and Chairman Meow silly?
333
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,446
Aw!
334
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,285
Look, Cheeky-Cheeks
has brought me a mouse.
335
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,083
You are such a hypocrite.
336
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,722
You pushed me to be honest with Jenna
about the worst shit I've ever done...
337
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,003
...but you won't admit
how you really feel about these cats?
338
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,768
Ryan, I have a confession to make.
339
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:00,841
You love the cats.
340
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,241
We'll leave them in the alley.
341
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,809
- Hey.
- Hey.
342
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,010
Listen...
343
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,807
...about this morning, I...
344
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,681
I can't stop thinking
about those things you did.
345
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,684
Jenna, I did those things
because I care about you.
346
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,211
I know.
347
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,762
But the thing is...
348
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:39,169
...it's my fault too.
349
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,810
I made you care.
350
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:45,327
Oh, God. You're gonna think
I'm a terrible person...
351
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,051
...but I used you.
352
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:49,726
What?
353
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,521
From the day we met, it was pretty obvious
that you had a crush on me.
354
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:54,920
What? Heh.
355
00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:00,764
I was new here and I felt guilty
about leaving Wilfred alone all day...
356
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:05,084
...and you were so sweet and eager
to help, so I let you.
357
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,244
Jenna, you didn't use me.
358
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,687
We're friends.
Come on, Ryan.
359
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,561
You took care of Wilfred every day.
360
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,529
You picked up my dry-cleaning.
361
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,682
You saved my job.
362
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,644
You did everything for me...
363
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,686
...and all I did was smile and flirt
and string you along.
364
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,322
I am so sorry.
365
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,362
Can you ever forgive me?
366
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,682
Hey, I do everything else for you.
367
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:44,724
Oh. Uh, I saw your report.
It was pretty great.
368
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,644
Thanks. Heh.
369
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,610
Yeah, the response
has been amazing.
370
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,762
I even got a call from
a city councilwoman.
371
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,362
She's gonna introduce an ordinance
to clearly label pot candy.
372
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,205
She wants me to be
a policy advisor.
373
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,443
Guess The Squish is officially dead.
Wow.
374
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,489
Congratulations.
375
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,281
I'm really glad everything
worked out.
376
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,410
It wouldn't have happened
if you hadn't been honest with me.
377
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,046
You inspired me, Ryan.
378
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,721
That's what friends are for.
379
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,770
I'm gonna miss you, Popcorn.
380
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:34,801
And don't forget to get in at least an hour's
scratching-post time every day.
381
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,321
Bootsy, whatever you do, stay away
from that Chinese restaurant down the street.
382
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,164
You know what they do there.
383
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,484
They overcharge for mediocre food.
384
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,489
Go. Be free.
385
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,923
You did the right thing, Wilfred.
It's so hard.
386
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,003
Oh, my God.
Dobies?
387
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,844
They're real?
388
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,128
Run to the trees!
To the trees!
389
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,482
Run, Chairman Meow! Bootsy!
390
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,810
No! No!
30314
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