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1
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,005
You know how girls aren't
supposed to eat on the first date?
2
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:34,606
Just a heads-up:
I'm starving and not gonna hold back.
3
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,450
I don't mind breaking a rule or two.
4
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,722
Like how the guy's supposed to
pick up the check.
5
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,123
Ryan, can we dialogue?
I talk, you listen. Go.
6
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,568
I need you to...
Am I interrupting something here?
7
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,882
- We were on our way out.
- Ah, it'll take a second.
8
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,407
The CNVN-311 patent.
9
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,928
I need you to review and summarize
by Friday. Possible?
10
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,162
This Friday? Sure.
11
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,921
Ooh, you sound confident. Thursday.
12
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,804
Possible?
13
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,602
Sure. Thursday, whatever you need.
14
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,683
I like your attitude.
15
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,126
Let's make it Wednesday.
16
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:15,641
Wow. We have eyeless test bunnies
in the lab who have it easier than you.
17
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,729
I'm gonna have to start this tonight.
18
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,609
Rain check?
19
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,809
Sure. I'll just pretend
all this waiting...
20
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,486
...and rescheduling is
some sort of elaborate foreplay.
21
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,164
What do you want?
I just wanna talk.
22
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,364
Staying home alone is boring.
23
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,410
I'm working. Jenna and Drew
will be back in a couple of weeks.
24
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,483
I'm hanging up now.
Wait, real quick.
25
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,731
Did you have anything interesting
for lunch?
26
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,008
Any spicy sausage?
27
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:49,562
Did you fart? What did it smell like?
28
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,645
My boss just threw another
huge assignment in my lap.
29
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:54,251
I even had to cancel a date.
30
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,767
That's because you let your boss
walk all over you.
31
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,446
You can't let him keep
chipping away at your dignity...
32
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,530
...like a cheap coat
of Arctic Glow semigloss.
33
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:03,846
Garbage time.
34
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,803
What choice do I have?
I'm lucky to even have this job.
35
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,851
You keep thinking like that...
36
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,004
...you'll be cleaning up people's shit
for the rest of your life.
37
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,764
You need to stand up for yourself.
38
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:19,050
What I need is for my boss to ease up
and you to let me get some work done.
39
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,924
Don't wait up.
40
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,730
This is bullshit.
In.
41
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,645
But I'm innocent.
So you didn't trash my living room?
42
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,802
One man's trash
is another man's feng shui.
43
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,810
That's why I left that pool of yellow water
by the southeast door.
44
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,566
I'm gonna be late. Get in.
45
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,564
Why can't I go with you?
I can't take a dog to the office.
46
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,890
You're just gonna leave me in that thing?
Like some guy caged up like some animal?
47
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,691
Ryan, I'm a social butterfly.
48
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:47,083
I need to be where
the people dance. Please?
49
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,089
All right, but this is
a one-time thing. Understand?
50
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,004
Yeah.
51
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,371
Wait till I distract Stacey.
52
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,206
Go straight to my office,
third door on the right and stay there.
53
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,766
Oh. Hey, Stacey.
Hey, Ryan.
54
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,201
How's the, uh, coffee?
55
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:17,206
Oh, um, actually, it's not that great.
Oh.
56
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,169
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
57
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,607
There's a guy over there.
There's a guy over here.
58
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,930
There's a lady here. Ryan, look.
Look, there's people everywhere.
59
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,969
Oh, my God. He is so cute.
60
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:31,567
And you, darling, are a 9.5 out of 20.
Oh.
61
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,802
Aw, come here, buddy.
All right.
62
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,407
Oh, he's so soft.
63
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,962
Sounds like somebody
wants to see my balls.
64
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,805
Oh, he wants a tummy rub. I'll do it.
65
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,689
Is he with you?
66
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,320
He's my neighbor's dog.
I'm watching him for the week.
67
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:49,481
Oh.
68
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,166
Are you okay?
Yeah. I just need a cup of coffee.
69
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,449
Traffic is out of control.
70
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,566
Instead of a high occupancy lane, okay,
they should have a productivity lane.
71
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:02,850
That way, people who contribute the most
to society can get to where they need to go.
72
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,571
Stacey, get the guy who's in charge of that
on my phone.
73
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:10,288
Is anyone concerned that there's a stale,
half-eaten Wheat Thin under this desk?
74
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,522
Is that a dog in my office?
75
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:16,845
Huh?
76
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,367
Tell me that is not...
77
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,683
...a doggie in my office.
78
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,645
Whoo!
79
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,850
Hiya, doggie. Hi, doggie. Oh.
80
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,287
Who's a cuddly puppy?
You are? Yes, you are.
81
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,046
Grown man on the floor
spooning me from behind.
82
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,487
This is happening.
This is actually happening.
83
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,529
Hello.
Whose baby are you, huh?
84
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,167
He's my baby, sir.
85
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,369
He is? ls Ryan your big daddy?
86
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,364
Jeremy, I have the state highway
commissioner on line one.
87
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,727
Well, I've got a belly rub on line two.
88
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,564
Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
89
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:52,721
Brrr!
90
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,850
Hey, Ryan, how's that patent report going?
91
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,970
I may have to work all night,
but I should have it by morning.
92
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,209
Eh, or the next day. That would be fine.
93
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,640
Yes, it will. Yes, it will.
94
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,325
Yeah. That could work.
95
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,563
I'll have to leave Wilfred at home.
He can be kind of distracting.
96
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,529
You know what? Get it to me whenever.
97
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,490
Yeah, who wants a belly rub?
98
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,130
Can you give someone else a turn, eh?
99
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,523
Heh-heh-heh. Brrr! Ha, ha!
100
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,560
First day on the job and I totally killed it.
101
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:28,243
Felicia in Accounting,
she puts on this whale sound CD.
102
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:34,169
And I'm like, "What's that sound?
What's that sound? What's that sound?"
103
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,322
And of course I knew
it was a whale the whole time.
104
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,610
But you see, I was pretending.
That's the bit.
105
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,446
Yeah, well, anyway, it was pretty cute.
106
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,448
To the first happy hour
we've seen in months.
107
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,489
We should probably toast to Wilfred.
108
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,405
I mean, the effect he had on Jeremy,
it's like magic.
109
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,767
Actually, it's chemistry.
110
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,129
Contact with dogs causes
the human brain to release oxytocin...
111
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,762
...which is the same hormone that mothers
produce when nursing their babies.
112
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:06,521
Is it weird that I'm so turned on
by how smart you are?
113
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,921
Well, would it turn you on even more
if I answered that question in Latin?
114
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,128
Es-yay. Heh.
Heh.
115
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:16,204
What are you doing this weekend?
Getting older.
116
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:17,646
Friday's my birthday.
117
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,247
Do you have any plans?
I don't know.
118
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:24,206
I was thinking maybe a Swanson's chicken
pot pie and huff some keyboard cleaner...
119
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,084
...see where that takes me.
120
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,884
Or I could take you out to dinner.
121
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,042
And we could huff
keyboard cleaner together.
122
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,244
Okay, but I only huff the good stuff.
123
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,402
I'm kind of a keyboard cleaner snob.
124
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,891
Ah.
125
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,651
No, but seriously,
that would be really nice.
126
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,081
And then Judith in PR,
who apparently never laughs, says:
127
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,971
"Look, he's got Scotch tape
on the bottom of his paw."
128
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,485
And you know what?
129
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:51,681
I did.
130
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,168
I absolutely did.
131
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,847
Oh, we all had a real good laugh
at that one, let me tell you.
132
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,367
Anyway, guys,
I better get back to my friends.
133
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,449
It was good chatting with you.
134
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,162
I'll kill you!
135
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,046
I brought balls!
136
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,731
Balls.
137
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,968
Balls outside the conference room!
138
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,885
You like balls?
Yay, Ryan brought his dog in again today.
139
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,690
Is this gonna be an everyday thing?
140
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,884
Ryan, could you, like,
put your dog in your office?
141
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,486
Yeah, he's cute, but, you know.
Yeah, okay. Sorry.
142
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,160
- Balls. Balls. Balls.
- Come on. Wilfred.
143
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,890
Wilfred, in my office, now.
144
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,205
Sorry.
It's okay.
145
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,084
I'm bombing out there.
146
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,850
Not a single laugh.
147
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,571
Not even an "aw." It's bullshit!
148
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,290
Ow!
Aww...
149
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,487
This is no joke.
150
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,409
I'm an office dog.
151
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,246
It's my duty to entertain and amuse,
and if I can't do it...
152
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,801
...they'll bring in
some foosball table who can.
153
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,490
Yeah, in this economy...
154
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:10,122
...there's plenty of hungry,
young tables that will work for nothing.
155
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,481
Suck my dick, Ryan.
Lighten up.
156
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,729
After two days, the novelty
of an office dog has worn thin.
157
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,928
So what? Jeremy likes you.
158
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,923
That guy rubs me the wrong way.
159
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,448
Literally, like, against the grain
from tail to head.
160
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,247
Who does that?
He's in a good mood.
161
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,602
That's all that matters.
Well, that's all that matters to you.
162
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,321
They loved me once.
163
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,728
I don't understand.
164
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,687
Why am I slipping?
165
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,650
Slipping.
166
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,127
That's it.
167
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:54,044
What are you gonna do?
Something big. Something epic.
168
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:58,364
Something people will be talking about
for the rest of their morning.
169
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,761
Possibly through to lunch.
Wilfred, please.
170
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,649
Hey, everyone!
171
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,122
Look at me.
172
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,251
I'm gonna run and make a sharp turn
into the break room.
173
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,330
I'm sure that my paws
will have no trouble getting traction...
174
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,882
...on this slippery polished
concrete floor.
175
00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,326
Wait, Wilfred, don't!
176
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,443
Oh, great.
Jesus, Ryan.
177
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,806
I just had a salty lunch.
178
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,082
Ricky to the rescue.
179
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,083
Are you not entertained?
180
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,170
Are you not entertained?
181
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,004
What is wrong with you people?
182
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,766
What the hell is going on out here, huh?
183
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,004
Why is everybody just standing around?
Except for you, Ricky.
184
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,162
You're doing a great job, as always.
185
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,527
Ryan's dog knocked over
the water cooler.
186
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,401
I don't give a shit. I just got off the phone
with my source from Kanner-McKay...
187
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,929
...who told me that they are developing
a compound that is nearly identical to ours.
188
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:57,324
And I swear to God, if those clowns
come up with a cure for lung cancer...
189
00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,211
...it is gonna be a sad, sad day.
190
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,170
Everyone, work, now!
191
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,449
Ryan, where's my CNVN report?
192
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,046
Oh, I thought you said
I could get that to you whenever.
193
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,647
Whenever? Does that sound like
the type of thing a person...
194
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:16,162
...who puts $50 million of his own
on the line would say?
195
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,131
When am I gonna get it?
196
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,647
Is Monday okay?
Tomorrow.
197
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,041
Possible?
You, not being a dick.
198
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,725
Possible?
Tomorrow, Friday?
199
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,567
But that patent is 3 inches thick.
200
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:28,767
"Three inches"?
201
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:35,525
Stacey, have we sent Ryan
the CNVN-311 addendum yet?
202
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:50,006
I hereby tender my resignation
as office dog.
203
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,090
Well, it'll be a pretty big blow
to the company.
204
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,925
Don't forget to schedule an interview
with the snow globe.
205
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,208
I'm serious, Ryan.
I'm not going back there.
206
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,729
Those idiots wouldn't know adorable
if it cornered them in a cell...
207
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,406
...and raped them with a plunger handle.
208
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,843
That reminds me, Bear, can you pick up
a plunger before our next date?
209
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,082
You have to come back
to the office with me.
210
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,124
I'm never gonna finish this in time.
211
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,170
Put Jeremy in a good mood
so I can ask for an extension.
212
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,364
If I have to cancel on Amanda,
I'm afraid she'll give up on me.
213
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:20,726
You don't need me.
214
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,087
You need to quit whining,
get some self-respect.
215
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,123
This is your father all over again.
216
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,841
What are you talking about?
You never stood up to him. So intimidated.
217
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,565
So desperate for approval.
218
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,766
Can't even check "no"
on an RSVP card.
219
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,000
Ooh. Heh.
220
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,403
Don't tell me you wanna go
to your father's black-tie circle jerk.
221
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,689
Stop psychoanalyzing me.
It's two completely different situations.
222
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,764
Really, Ryan?
Jeremy's nothing like your father?
223
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:50,723
So when that stern authority figure
makes unreasonable demands of you...
224
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,326
...you don't feel weak and powerless?
225
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:57,206
Your palms don't sweat
and your stomach doesn't twist into knots?
226
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,767
You don't fool me, Ryan.
227
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:03,606
You may wear big-boy pants now,
but underneath it all...
228
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,649
...you've got that same little-boy penis.
229
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,169
You're coming back to the office with me.
No way.
230
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:13,008
Not unless you help me come up
with some new material.
231
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,004
I have to finish this.
You think I have time to teach you?
232
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,482
No, I need to come up
with a whole new adorable act.
233
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,449
Better put on a pot of coffee.
This is gonna take us all night.
234
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:28,003
Us?
Oh, your ass just got jinxed.
235
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,003
Nice one, Bear. Heh.
236
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,924
You owe him a Coke, by the way.
237
00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,842
Come on. Adorable, adorable, adorable.
What's adorable?
238
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,447
How about this? I lie down on the floor
and pretend I'm asleep.
239
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,807
I start twitching
and making cute little noises.
240
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,043
Like I'm dreaming about chasing
a rabbit through a field of clouds.
241
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,282
Cute shit, right?
Sure. Whatever.
242
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,487
Yeah, that's not it.
243
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,325
But write that down, Bear.
There might be something there.
244
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,050
We've been at this all night.
245
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,522
Well, maybe we'd be done if you'd
focus on making me look adorable...
246
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,961
...instead of goofing around
with your brief.
247
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,205
All right. Uh, what about...? I don't know.
Sad, droopy dog eyes?
248
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,204
Tha... Are you kidding me?
249
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,921
Lassie was doing sad,
droopy dog eyes back in 1955.
250
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,411
That shit is hack.
251
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,006
Oh, oh, oh!
252
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,767
What about this?
Okay, I'm sitting down doing nothing.
253
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:29,323
Then suddenly I lift my head,
cock my ears and look really alert.
254
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,565
For absolutely no reason.
255
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,405
That's great.
256
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,484
Honestly, the fact that you think it's great
makes me think it's not great.
257
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,969
Oh, what's that?
258
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,768
Really? Heh, heh.
259
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:48,811
Okay, this will be interesting.
Bear's got a pitch. Okay, let's hear it.
260
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,930
Oh.
261
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,368
That sounds pretty good, huh?
Really?
262
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:02,087
If it's so good, why did you interrupt Bear
in the middle of his pitch?
263
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,929
Go on, Bear.
264
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,284
What, that's it? That's the pitch?
265
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,681
For God's sakes,
just pick something. Anything.
266
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,441
Maybe you're right.
267
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:20,605
We've gotta have something here.
Let me just check through these notes.
268
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,761
What the...?
269
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,488
Are you kidding me?
270
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,371
Forty-five pages of lowercase H's?
271
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,966
Have you been writing none of this down?
Jesus!
272
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,281
Wilfred, calm down.
273
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:36,445
How can I calm down?
We've got nothing, Ryan! Nothing!
274
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,329
You are a disgrace!
275
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,888
I can't even look at you right now.
Where's your sex bag?
276
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,811
Wilfred.
277
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,371
Look.
278
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,723
Of course.
279
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,969
Bear, you are a genius.
280
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:08,170
Bag on my head and I can't get it off.
281
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,449
Okay, new plan.
Bear, you sit over here. Ryan, you type.
282
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:18,328
Jeremy, can I talk to you for a second?
283
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,966
You got my report?
284
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,202
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
285
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:27,167
But before we do that, I assume you
wanna say good morning to your favorite...
286
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,404
Wilfred?
287
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,329
Ladies and gentlemen,
how's everybody doing this morning?
288
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,130
It's good to be back in the office.
289
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,204
How many people work here?
A show of hands?
290
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:43,490
Okay, I'll just get
straight into it then. Um...
291
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:47,369
Hey.
Where did this paper bag come from?
292
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,842
Kevin, did you eat the jalapenos
off my cheddar jalapeno bagel again?
293
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,770
No. No. Why?
294
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,048
Hey.
Hi.
295
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,043
I'm excited about tonight.
296
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,725
Me too.
297
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,689
So it seems there's this bag.
298
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,889
Me, I'd have done it totally different.
Excuse me.
299
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,202
Do I come into your place of business...
Ha-ha-ha.
300
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,004
...and interrupt you
when you're working?
301
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,642
Anyway, back to the bag.
I wonder what's inside.
302
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:15,771
Careful, doggie.
Don't get your head stuck in a bag.
303
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,888
What the hell are you doing?
Look at me.
304
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,128
I'm a dumb dog.
305
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,527
Oh, very cute, Ricky.
306
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,567
You bastard!
307
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,086
Did you see that?
308
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,767
Slow Piscopo stole my bit
right out from under me.
309
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:35,163
You know what you need? A belly rub.
And I think Jeremy's available.
310
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:36,845
Hi, guys.
311
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,047
Toilet time.
312
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:42,842
Shouldn't you be out terrifying white-water
rafters with your banjo music?
313
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,721
Hey, Ricky, could you give us a minute?
But it's toilet time.
314
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,446
Hi, doggie.
315
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,923
Wilfred! Wilfred!
316
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,442
- Again, I am so sorry about this.
- Aah.
317
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,250
G 1 GO get help! Shh!
318
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,606
It's really not that bad.
319
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:06,730
Let me out of here, Ryan.
320
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,127
Why did he hurt my face?
321
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,520
I love him.
322
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,364
I know.
Oh.
323
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,646
I look terrible.
324
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,366
Don't worry, pretty boy,
you still got your quick wit.
325
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:20,411
Listen, Ricky, it's very important that
we don't tell anyone about this, okay?
326
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,762
I could lose my job.
327
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:29,130
I could forget about it
if you do my job.
328
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,768
Are you blackmailing me?
329
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,882
Maybe I am and maybe I'm not.
330
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,442
I'm not really sure
what blackmailing means.
331
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,488
Do it!
332
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,969
That dude is such a slowpoke.
333
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:56,011
I mean, talk about dumb.
The guy redefines... Oh, shit.
334
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,083
Enough, Wilfred. I'm not in the mood.
335
00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,765
Oh, now you put your foot down.
336
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,844
You could've been off experimenting
with that chick right now...
337
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,082
...if you just stood up for yourself.
What?
338
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,005
This happened because
of your insatiable need for attention.
339
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,970
No, Ryan. This happened
because you're a human doormat.
340
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,771
Either help me or get out of here.
341
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,366
You're doing a shit job at that shit job.
342
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,045
Jesus, are you good at anything?
343
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:22,290
No wonder you're starved for your father's
approval. You never did anything to earn it.
344
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,207
That's not true. I did everything to earn it.
You didn't try hard enough.
345
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:29,170
I couldn't have tried harder.
Maybe you're not good enough.
346
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,290
Well, then screw you.
I'm a great lawyer and I was a great son.
347
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,842
Look, I did everything right
and all I got in return was shit.
348
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,128
Well, I'm done!
349
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,283
Say it again.
350
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,043
I'm done.
351
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,290
Oh, shit.
352
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,160
- Ah, Ryan.
- Look, Jeremy...
353
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,409
...I will not be finishing that report
by tomorrow. I have a date.
354
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,850
I'm good at my job and I will work my ass
off for you, but only if we set some limits.
355
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,570
First...
You got it.
356
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:06,091
I do?
Yeah, whatever you want.
357
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,362
Really?
Totally. See you Monday.
358
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,451
All right.
359
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,165
I'll be there in 15 minutes.
Order me a keyboard cleaner.
360
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:19,367
Okay.
361
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:20,726
Heh. That was incredible.
362
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,724
I had no idea it'd be so easy
to get what I wanted from Jeremy.
363
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,248
Me neither. I was like 99 percent sure
you were gonna get fired.
364
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,609
You're an inspiration, Ryan Newman.
365
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,930
In fact...
366
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:47,211
...I'm gonna go give Jeremy a piece
of my mind, tail to head, my ass.
367
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,930
Wilfred!
368
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,767
Jeremy...
Sorry, Jeremy. I...
369
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,281
You know,
I think I'm gonna take next week off.
370
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:02,566
Possible?
371
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,641
Very, very possible.
372
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,211
Go.
373
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,330
Oh, my God.
374
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:37,970
It's the 21st century.
375
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,963
I can't believe you still believe that.
376
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:44,887
Let's just assume for a second
that the world really is round, like you say.
377
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,691
The good people of America
are right here on top.
378
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:51,322
And the Chinese folk, uh, on the bottom.
379
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,571
Why do they not just fall off?
380
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:57,964
Do you expect me to believe
they have magnets in their shoes?
381
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,441
It's not magnets. It's gravity.
382
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,364
And it's in their shoes?
383
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,924
Yes.
30167
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