Original subtitles

[ Groans ]

Ah, ugh.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

[ Urinating ]

Mmm!

[ Glass shatters ]

Oh. Oh, God.

[ Coughs ]

[ Burps loudly ]

[ Drunkenly muttering ]

[ Grunts ]

Oh, ugh.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

[ Glass shatters ]

Ugh, this fuckin' thing.

This, uh, uhh, fuck.

Ho...kay.

[ Error dings ]

Come o-o-on!

Come on, man!

[ Error dings ]

Piece of fuckin' -- piece of shit!

[ Error dings ]

Aah! Aah!

Hnn, hnn, hnn, hnn, hnn!

[ Error dings ]

Lockdown initiated.

[ Machinery whirring ]

Mort-y-y-y!

Ohhh. Hey, pal. W-what's up?

Oh, g-good -- good morning, Mor-- Morty.

Yeah. Sure thing.

You want breakfast?

Or dinner?

Are you humoring me, Morty?

[ Sighs ] No.

I only had a couple of drinks, Morty!

S-so, w-what do you need me for?

This fuckin' thing locked me out!

Okay. Well, whose fault is that?

Y-o-o-ours!

What?

Let! Me! In!

[ Electricity crackles ]

Owww!

Unh!

M-o-o-o-ort-y-y-y-y!

I mean, Rick, I don't really know what I can do here.

Y-you don't give a shit about grandpa, huh?

Is -- Is that it, Morty? Y-you want me dead?

[ Sighs ] Rick...

Y-you won't inherit anything from me, Morty.

Evil boy. Wicked boy.

[ Cellphone ringing ]

Okay. You know what?

Hello? R-Rick S-- Rick Sanchez phone.

How'd -- How you get this number?

Reese!

Reese?

Uh, y-you're in town? Of course we can.

Of course I'm drunk. L-let's, uh, see you soon!

Guess who that was!

It was Reese.

Y-you said -- You said it out loud!

Fucking Reese, Morty!

Mnhmnh, who needs passwords, huh?

W-we need our minds off of this shit, Morty.

We gotta hang out with our pal Reese!

Rick, you just yelled at me, and I don't even care.

I like Reese that much.

[burps] That's 'cause he's the fuckin' best!

You got that right.

[ Downbeat rock music plays ]

♪♪

Reese! Reese! Reese! Reese! Reese! Reese!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Electricity crackles ]

I love these trips, Reese.

H-hell, yeah!

Fly-fishing, babay!

[ Reel whirs ]

[ Snap! ]

Aww! W-was that my fault?

D-did I fuck that up?

M-dawg, if they never got away,

what'd be the point of catching 'em?

Man, that's some great -- great fly-fishing wisdom, Reese.

Really calming.

You gotta wade with the current, dude.

You're the best.

[ Reel whirs ]

Awww, geez!

Hey, M-Morty.

Morty, Morty, Morty, Morty!

Oh! Oh, God! Rick!

[ Chuckles ] Get outta here!

[ Laughing ]

[ Insects chirping ]

I know I packed the special marshmallows.

One job.

I opened the cabinet,

I looked at them. I know I looked at them!

One job!

You forgot them on the last Reese trip.

Seems like a bad thing to trust me with, then.

You gotta be more patient with Morty, Rick.

Not everyone can be a genius.

It's what you do with what you got that counts.

Sorry, Morty. I could take it easier on you.

I'm, uh -- I'm still wired from catching all those fish.

Ha ha! Well, you'd find a way to get high on anything.

Ain't that the truth?

[ All laughing ]

Rick: True.

You know, Rick, you two may fight,

but you're the real deal.

[ Watch dings ]

Heh. Thanks, Reese.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]

Ah, man. I hate to do this, guys,

but I got some work stuff I still need to hit.

Might have to call it.

[burps] Sounds good to me. I'm beat.

What? The -- The trip just started.

Sorry, champ, but the river's not going anywhere.

Shake a leg, Morty. Some of us got responsibilities.

[ Bottles clattering ]

You could always just move to Earth, Reese.

Rick's a god.

He could, like, grow your job out of slime.

He could grow your whole company out of slime.

It's a great idea, Morty.

I'll pitch it to my boss.

Bye, Reese.

Remember, wade with the current, pal.

[ Machinery whirring ]

Theft detected.

Um, did -- did -- did you just...

Threat nullified.

Shit.

Jesus fucking Christ!

Okay, so, Morty, I know your instinct will be

to make a big deal about this.

You'll be all, "Betrayal! Betrayal!"

We've known him for years!

S-so Reese takes us camping whenever you get locked out?!

Oh, my God. Am I your fucking password?

Ugh. It's more complex than that.

But yes.

Our relationship is unique in the multiverse.

Th-there. Jerk off to it.

It's what you always wanted.

We're unique, and I depend on you.

Unh!

Whoa!

And you needed to gaslight me

with a cool fake friend to verify that?!

Morty, how can you be mad at this?

I created an awesome guy we had a great time with.

I'm more sad about this than you, Morty.

I liked Reese. Reese was cool.

Now I gotta build a new fuckin' Reese thing!

[ Grunting ]

Unh! Hunh! Uhh! Unh!

Unh!

Aah!

[ Muffled screaming ]

[ Muffled screaming continues ]

Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

[ Gulping loudly ]

Ahh. Oh.

[ Gulping continues ]

Ahh. [ Sighs ]

What?

It's just, how is there that much liquid in there?

Oh. Uh, this one is, uh -- it's a -- it's a portal thing.

Th-there's a big silo full of vodka on this one planet.

These, uh, little hog-men keep it full for me.

Okay.

I'm gonna go [burps] empty it.

Ugh!

Rick?

That was fucked up, Rick.

But I can handle fucked up.

A-a-and now that I know what Reese is,

w-we can, we can hang out with him all the time, right?

Uh...

Morty wha-whaa?

What the hell are you doing to him?

Oh. I got, I gotta transfer over some stuff-uh before disposal.

"Disposal"?!

Reese is a liability, Morty.

[ Device beeps ]

He's like a credit card.

If he's not in use, he-e's gotta be shredded.

Chin up, Morty.

It's my bad for going all Iron Giant in front of ya.

I don't want you to die.

Hey, hey, hey, I'm not dying...

'cause I was never really living.

[ Slurring ] He's got all my passwords, Morty.

You can't just -- he's not a guy, he's -- he's a wallet.

Nice wallet.

Aah! Morty!

[ Errors dinging ]

Lockdown initiated.

[ Machinery whirring ]

Morty, nooo!

Aah! Ooh! Ohh!

[ Groans ]

[ Pounding on hatch ]

[ Honking, horn blares ]

[ Meow! Bonk! ]

[ Man yodeling ]

[ Intercom static ]

Reese is my friend!

Rick: He's not alive, Morty!

He's-- he's a program that unlocks my computer

and dispenses clichés!

You better open that hatch, Morty!

[ Switch clicks ]

Reese? Ar-are you okay?

Whoa!

I'm a bit worried.

I mean, what happens when Rick reels us in?

Guess I can drop the folksy act.

No, I-I like it. It's part of the charm.

Well, then where are we casting off?

There's an old landline portal down here.

Level 17.

W-we'll figure it out from there.

Aye-aye, Captain!

Maybe a lighter touch.

[ Device powering up ]

Aah!

Neighbor: Ohh!! The TV froze!

Now what do I think?!

[ Line ringing ]

Huge Clouds Metallurgy.

Rick: You guys helped me build a lock.

That's right, we did.

Rick: I locked it with the keys inside.

That is gonna take some metallurgy.

You said it. How soon can your technician get here?

Hmm. We need remote system access.

Can do. One sec.

Hey, Jerry, call for you.

Yello-- ooughughuhglugughh!

Ho-ho-hoo-hoo!

Yeah, yeah, you're a bipedal simian now,

in a gravity of 9.8 MPS. Don't, don't get any ideas.

So much m-a-a-a-ass.

Sorry, sorry. You said the lock was...?

This is interesting.

We don't sell this model double-bonded.

I know. Did that a-ma-self.

[ Whistles ]

This is qu-a-a-ality work.

Oh, thanks. Heh.

Of course, it does void the warranty.

What?

I'll need access to this whole thing.

Might have to dig it all out.

Is there a place where I could get tools and things?

For this?

A hardware store?

Yes...

And you're not just stalling

'cause you wanna take this new body out

for a sensory flight of fancy?

Noooo...

Remember, whole subbasement!

Dug out! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Should be a straight shot to 17.

Just have to...

c-cut, cut through the prison level...

[ Ominous music plays ]

Hey, those weapons you used earlier to, uh,

kill that raccoon --

Destroy the intruder.

Destroy the intruder! That's better.

Uh, can you use those... whenever?

Not really.

I mean, just on things that threaten you,

the house, or Rick.

So you can destroy things that are hurting me.

Yes.

Aw, geez.

[ Inhales deeply ]

Unh! Unh! Unh! Unh!

[ Whirring ]

Threat nullified.

[ Groans ] Here we go.

There should be no shortage of threats in here.

Thank fucking God.

That was gonna suck.

Aw, I was fixing to have me a hootenanny

like you wouldn't believe.

Revenge!!

Aah!

He grabbed your leg and screamed "revenge."

No, no, a-all that buildup,

I'm glad something happened.

Morty I -- I don't actually know what "hootenanny" means.

It's okay. We're almost there.

[ Drill whirring ]

Where the fuck is that guy?

Beth: D-a-a-ad?

Where's Jerry?!

Rick: That's exactly what I'm wondering!

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

[ Humming ]

Hello?

That doesn't sound like a hardware store.

Uh, it is!

[ Giggles ]

[ Laughing ]

[ Giggling ]

You let anyone do that?

He gave us all the money he had.

[ Banging ]

Morty: Hunh! Hunh! Hunh!

Threat nullified.

Hey, how 's your head?

M-my vision's gettin' pretty cloudy.

B-but even I can see, heh, y-you're almost free, Reese!

[ Door creaks ]

Yes! We're getting you out of here!

[ Engine starts ]

[ Portal device whirring, modem buzzing ]

[ Ding! ]

Ohh, that looks nice.

Good. Then that's your new home.

[ Portal hums ]

Wow.

Huh.

Expected a different kind of catfish.

Uh, 'scuse me.

Is there still forest around here?

Whassat? Oh, no.

Not since the God in the White Coat.

He gave our world the gift of metal and computer science.

In return, we run his holy silo.

The younger hogs resent our duty.

Can't say I blame 'em. If wages keep stagnatin',

maybe I'll do something worse! Ha ha!

Oh, wow. Yeah, that-th-that guy's my grandpa.

Th-this is Reese. He, uh, he works for him, too.

The password man.

Oh, I may be putting down roots here.

Please do! Now, if y'all excuse me,

I'm needed at a high-tech potato distillery.

Well, w-w-we did it, Reese.

It's the first day of the rest of your life.

Before today, I was a two-factor authenticator

with a vague Southern affect.

Now I can be whatever I want.

Thank you, Morty.

Uh, y-y-you're welcome, Reese.

Wade with the current.

I'll probably do somethin' else.

Fishing's b-o-o-o-o-ring!

[ Footsteps approaching ]

Busy store.

Plus, I had to run with these weird legs.

[ Humming, thunder crashes ]

There we go.

Bro, you made me dig out the whole thing.

Oh! Hey, hey, Rick.

God damn it, Morty! We just cracked the lock!

Now I have to pay this guy his full rate!

I am very expensive.

Where's Reese?

Safe from you!

I took him through the landline portal

and set him up with a new life with his new hog friends.

Oh, no.

[ Machinery whirring ]

Rick Sanchez, we have taken possession of your password man.

Long live the Hog Resistance!

Morty, you dumb idiot,

you think those vodka hogs wouldn't fuck me over?

Th-the good-natured rustic thing is just an act!

Their whole planet runs on my tech, Morty!

Whoaaaa!

Wooooh! Ooohahh! Ohh!

I'm gonna fuckin' barf!

Rick Sanchez, you will no longer subjugate our homeworld!

Fuck you!

-Go make my vodka! -No!

We just got access to your desktop...

Deh? Ooh, are these circles fucking?

They're making love!

IT guy, rip that computer out!

[ Gunfire ]

[ Screaming in the distance ]

Are Summer and Mom home?

F-u-u-u-u-uck!

Morty, grab on!

-Wh-o-o-o-oa! -Aaaah!

[ Both grunting ]

Aah!

Why is the furniture attacking us?

Rick's been hacked!

Because Morty assumed that hogs in overalls

couldn't also be hackers!

Aah!

Um, Dad, you're losing a lot of blood.

It's okay! I can make more!

Badass.

♪♪

Stop replacing my stuff with robots!

You never noticed the difference!

Rick lies to everyone!

Doesn't that make you wanna join the resistance?

Shit! The floor is lava!

Did you put that in for defense or for fun?

I don't remember!

Ooh-hoo-ho-hoo! Ho-ho-ho!

You ever think about how instead of wrapping yourself

in infinite layers of defense

you could just be nicer to people?

[ Cellphone ringing ]

Never once, Morty!

Hog Hacker: Rick Sanchez, is your refrigerator running?

Because you better go and catch it!

You owe me.

Wh-o-o-oa!

[ Laughing ]

Ooh-ugh-ah!

Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

Everyone, kill yourselves!

I'll help!

Huh?

[ Screaming, squelching ]

[ Jerry crying ]

Listen to this. It's the ocean or something.

[ Whimpering ]

Ohh-ugh, uhh!

Thanks for turning off the lava.

[ All grunting ]

You couldn't have turned off everything?

Ohh!

[ Roars ]

Emergency shutoff in my room.

Run!

Oh-ho-ho! Ooh!

Aaaah! Aaaaah! Unf!

I hate living here!

-Aaaaaaaaaah! -Move!

Hit that shut-off quick. It stinks in here.

Punching down.

[ Zap! ]

[ Electricity crackles ]

-See? All fixed. -Awesome.

Th-thank goodness you knocked out all that stuff.

Yep. Nothing electronic left

that can be hacked or turned against us.

Salud!

Ohh! Aah!

The Liberation of Hog Planet is at hand.

Prepare for your death, Oppressor Sanchez.

Reese, no!

Run!

Whoa. New look for Reese.

I don't like how many adult friends Morty has.

Gyaah!

Rick, use your implants!

What part of "nothing electronic"

went over your head, Morty?

Hit him with pipes!

[ Both grunting ]

It's not doing anything!

Whoa!

-Aah! -Aah!

Oh!

Sorry I'm d-doing this, R-Rick.

I think someone messed with my h-h-head.

Reese, it's me! Remember?

You told me it was normal

to have one pube longer than the others?

Stop trying to override his programming with love, Morty!

Well, hitting him with pipes isn't working!

Ow!

You can't love something out of hurting you!

Oh, you'd sure love that to be true!

Fuck you, Morty!

-I hate you! -I hate you!

-I hate you! I hate you! -I hate you! I hate you!

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

I hate you! I hate you!

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

I hate you!

[ Electricity crackles ]

Unh!

Ahh.

Y-y-you know what, Rick? You two may f-f-fight,

but you're the real d-d-deal.

[ Machinery whirring down ]

[ Armor clanking ]

Huh.

Probably doesn't mean anything.

Yep.

[ Rumbling ]

Hey, Grandpa, did you turn the yard into a giant sinkhole

when you dug out the subbasement?

It's fine. It's just some tunnels.

Are the tunnels reinforced?

Don't overthink the tunnels. I have a handle on the tunnels.

[ Vehicle beeping ]

How much longer is he gonna be Dad for?

I like him.

Me too.

Summer just taught me what "push-ups" are.

I did. He's fuckin' nailing them.

-Mom? -Oh. Uh, one more week?

-What? -No, no, you're right.

It was good getting to know you, "The Smiths."

Wait!

Morty, him leaving was your idea.

Well, I have another idea.

[ Breathes ]

[ Both scream ]

Ugh!! Why do I taste rainbow wax?

Why do you know what that tastes like?

[ Bones crack ] Oh. Ah!

[ Grunting ]

How 's it feel?

Not as wet as the last guy, but I'll fix that.

[ Grunting, lips smacking ]

I'm glad you're getting to live on, Reese.

And getting a pretty sweet rig out of the deal.

I hope you have a good life out there.

I... I love you.

And I love how much matter you're made of.

I'm leaving now, to do things that are my business.

There is a place called Skyzone.

Do not visit me there.

[ Sighs ]

What, you gonna keep sighing until I notice?

I'm just breathing.

He's alive, Morty.

You're welcome.

Gaaaah! Fuckin' hogs.

Fuckin' Morty.

Cost me a flask.

[ Beep! ]

[ Explosions, Hog-people screaming ]

[burps] Learned my lesson. No more portal flasks.

Mmm, mmm!

Ahh.

Mmm, mmm. Mmm.

Ahh.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

[burps] Morty, I-I can tell you're disgusted...

[ Burps ]

...but you're gonna be just like me!

It's a disease, Morty! A genetic disease!

It's already in you, Morty!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Groaning ]

H-hey, buddy, y-you good?

F-u-u-uck you, Morty, you little piece of shit.

You think you're better than me, Morty?!

I'm gonna -- I'm gonna kill you!

I-I'll kill you!!

[ Knock on door ]

Hey, guys! I'm Rex.

I just moved in next door,

and I love "Minecraft" and skateboarding!

-Unh! -Aah!

[ Groaning ]

Aaah! Aah!

Wait- wait, he's- he's not--

[ Cellphone ringing ]

Georgie Boy!

M-Morty, w-would-- would you believe my unrelated friend,

Georgie Boy, wants to hang?

Howdy, fellas!

Georgie Boy! Georgie Boy!

But -- Oh...

Georgie Boy! Georgie Boy!

Did you get any of that?