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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,422 Jerry, this is disgusting. 2 00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:06,965 How did it get so dirty already? 3 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,301 Because your crappy pool bot doesn't work. 4 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,303 Pool not found. Searching. 5 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,846 But the guy that lives behind the pool-store Dumpster 6 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,556 gave me a sweet deal. 7 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,558 Oh, my God, why didn't you hire Keith the pool guy 8 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,143 like I told you? 9 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,902 [Sloop!] 10 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,529 Keith's schedule was full. 11 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,155 What are you jackoffs talking about? 12 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,907 Ooh, Jerry's new pool sucks? 13 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,325 Allow me. 14 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,826 No, Rick, this is my pool! 15 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:37,663 I can handle this mess without your sci-fi shenanigans. 16 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,206 Copy that. 17 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,582 Treat Jerry like a baby so he can feel like a man. 18 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,459 Come on, Rick, let's go. 19 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,459 Gotta scoot. 20 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,127 Finally taking Morty to Boob World. 21 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,546 And we need to stop by the store for supplies. 22 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,047 Good luck with your septic tank, Jerry. [ Burps ] 23 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,674 Ugh. I gotta go to work. 24 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,134 Someone's gotta win the bread around here. 25 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,178 Pool not found. Searching. 26 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,805 Trader Joe's hashbrowns -- 27 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:58,809 the most efficient booze absorber in the multiverse. 28 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,769 Think you're supposed to heat those up first, big guy. 29 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:04,356 No, look, Morty, my mouth is an air fryer now. 30 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,358 It's really happening, huh? 31 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,277 I'm finally going to Boob World. 32 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,862 Oh, yeah! Boob World, baby! 33 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:15,075 Oh, damn it! What the... 34 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,868 It appears there has been an accident. 35 00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:19,454 That happens. No harm, no foul. Have a good one, buddy. 36 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,832 We should exchange information before going 37 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,625 our separate ways. 38 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,502 We could go even "separater" ways by not exchanging anything. 39 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,170 But our bumpers collided. 40 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,505 Oh, my God, is this how you make friends? 41 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,340 Is this how you make enemies? 42 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,675 What the hell does that mean? 43 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:32,926 Rick, stop! 44 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,636 He started it. 45 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,636 He did not start it. 46 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,389 Be the bigger man so we can go to Boob World already! 47 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,057 Fuck that. We gotta set this idiot straight. 48 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,809 Look, buddy, 49 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,061 it's obvious you're some kind of heightened Kung Fu archetype. 50 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,646 But I'm a Doctor Who-Loki. 51 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,523 And people like you are like NPCs to me. 52 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:48,525 So do yourself a favor and -- 53 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:49,651 [ Grunting ] 54 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:50,736 [ Crowd gasps ] 55 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,195 I have struck you 56 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,573 with the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique -- 57 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,576 the most fatal punch in all of martial arts. 58 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,996 Victims are able to walk only five steps forward 59 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,248 before their heart explodes. 60 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,208 Five steps forward? 61 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,169 Try it and find out. 62 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,253 Don't tell me what to do. 63 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,255 I'll find out with science. 64 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,341 Nice day for a backwards walk. 65 00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,675 Are you really gonna -- 66 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,135 No, stupid! 67 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:16,678 Pull the car around and pick me up! 68 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:24,686 {\an8}♪♪ 69 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:32,736 {\an8}♪♪ 70 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:40,744 {\an8}♪♪ 71 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:48,585 {\an8}♪♪ 72 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,170 {\an8}What did that idiot do to me? 73 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,922 {\an8}This doesn't make any damn sense. 74 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,757 {\an8}Just apologize. 75 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,302 {\an8}Haven't we done clones enough? 76 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,638 {\an8}Not a clone, Morty. A Xerox of me 77 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,306 {\an8}that I've lobotomized to be a crash-test dummy. 78 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,058 {\an8}Look at my balls! 79 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,058 {\an8}Hey, do us a favor. 80 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,810 {\an8}Walk forward five to six steps. 81 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:05,977 {\an8}Your choice. 82 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:09,231 {\an8}One. Two. Three. Four. 83 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,316 {\an8}Huh? So this is legit. 84 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,652 {\an8}Better take a closer look. 85 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,320 {\an8}Look at my ball-- 86 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,489 {\an8}There are over 700 meridians in the human body. 87 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,242 {\an8}Mr. Kung Fu struck specific pressure points in me 88 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,119 {\an8}and induced commotio cordis. 89 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,079 {\an8}Five steps forward will cause massive compression build-up, 90 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,498 {\an8}causing my heart to explode under its own pressure. 91 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,333 {\an8}Let's see what happens when I attach a copy of my heart 92 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:30,502 {\an8}to a copy of my legs. 93 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,508 {\an8}Interesting, huh? 94 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,927 {\an8}More gross than interesting. So far, we're on brand. 95 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,512 {\an8}Fuck you. Watch this. 96 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,767 {\an8}[ Heart beating ] 97 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,561 {\an8}See that? Cardiac detonation is triggered 98 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,771 {\an8}only by forward bipedal movement. 99 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,273 {\an8}I can't believe I'm missing Boob World for this! 100 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,524 {\an8}Just apologize to the guy. 101 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,526 {\an8}Maybe he'll un-punch you. 102 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,361 {\an8}The day I apologize will be because I am truly sorry. 103 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,697 {\an8}I don't sully apologies by making it a ritual 104 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:02,033 {\an8}of flagellation for someone who, in this case, is a bully. 105 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,910 {\an8}You called the man an NPC. 106 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,413 {\an8}Why do you always have to take the side of the waiter? 107 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,166 {\an8}Because your side is insane! 108 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,375 {\an8}Okay, then. Fuck off. 109 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,335 {\an8}Maybe I will! 110 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,335 {\an8}Go ahead! 111 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,671 {\an8}No one's stopping you! 112 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,671 {\an8}Fine! 113 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,173 {\an8}This is me fucking off out of the fucking garage 114 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,425 {\an8}because you...suck. 115 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,886 {\an8}No, you...suck. 116 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,513 {\an8}You... 117 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,513 {\an8}You... 118 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:32,731 {\an8}Pool not found. Searching. 119 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:33,732 {\an8}Pool not found. 120 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,400 {\an8}The pool is right behind you. 121 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,819 {\an8}Just turn around, you stupid thing. 122 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,571 {\an8}No! [ Sighs ] 123 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,490 {\an8}Jerry, this is your moment. 124 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,617 {\an8}Be a man and figure it out. 125 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,163 Hi, there, emasculated pool dads. 126 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,040 Okay. Specific. 127 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,333 Is your pool gross? 128 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,918 Does your family not respect you? 129 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,544 Don't worry. 130 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,254 I'll show you how to upgrade your TR-X1 131 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,090 and clean your pool better than any human being. 132 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,760 But first, let's discuss the history of pool cleaning. 133 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,179 Oh, boy. This is three hours? 134 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:07,140 ...really important to never -- 'Cause it's dangerous. 135 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,850 Bloody stuff of nightmares! 136 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,852 Now that we've gone over the safety guidelines, 137 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:14,022 click the link below for a list of long language models. 138 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,190 Be sure to upload them -- 139 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,900 I get it. 140 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,443 [ Beeps ] 141 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,737 [ Beeping ] 142 00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,281 Pool detected. Clean, clean, clean... 143 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,575 I did it! I made something work! 144 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:28,453 I am the greatest husband alive! 145 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,330 Walk backwards the rest of your life. 146 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:34,084 God, see if I care. 147 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,961 Uh...hi. 148 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,462 You, uh... 149 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,631 You death punched my grandpa this morning? 150 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,633 That was unfortunate. 151 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,636 I did not study under See-Foo Gerd Jergins at Tiger's Nest 152 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,555 to beat up old people. 153 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,516 The point of martial arts is to avoid violence. 154 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,142 I am Liu Sin. 155 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,645 Oh, um, I'm Morty Smith. 156 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,731 Is it racist to say I adore your Kung Fu patience? 157 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,817 I can teach you. 158 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,817 Racism? 159 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,986 No. Kung Fu. 160 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,946 [ Bird squawks ] 161 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,698 Breathe. 162 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,325 Feel your Chi circulate within. 163 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,035 [ Exhales ] 164 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,035 Very good, Morty. 165 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,495 This is great. 166 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:13,123 Life with Rick is filled with so much anxiety. 167 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,958 Alrighty, Mr. Sin, 168 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,711 I didn't have the right cables to hook up the flat screen. 169 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,171 It's gonna cost a bit extra to get those. 170 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,132 Hmm. Pity. 171 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,844 Jesus! Don't step forward. 172 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,679 You only get five steps before you die! 173 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,849 But I have so much to do today. 174 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,183 Uhh. 175 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,768 What was up with that guy? 176 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:37,022 Dude! He was just doing his job, and you killed him. 177 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,608 Is that a criticism? 178 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,489 Activate Advance-Limitation Suit. 179 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:51,703 Ha ha! Look who ain't stepping forward now, baby! 180 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,705 Morty: [ Crying ] Rick! 181 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,332 Rick! 182 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,958 Morty, what happened? 183 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,418 I got death punched. 184 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,087 Oh, no, no, no, no, my little pooh-bah! 185 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,132 I went back to Trader Joe's to eat my feelings 186 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,759 because I was mad at you. 187 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,762 But then I ran into Liu Sin, and he punched me. 188 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,222 Nobody fucks with my sweet little grandson. 189 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,642 First, I'm gonna cure the dick off this death punch, Morty. 190 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,018 And then I'm gonna destroy 191 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,520 Mr. Liu Sin's entire belief system! 192 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:21,024 Clean, clean, clean. Task complete. 193 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,525 Awaiting command. 194 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,235 Amazing! Oh, I gotta tell Beth. 195 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:27,280 [ Cellphone rings ] 196 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:27,280 Uh, hello? Beth, I fixed the pool. 197 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,240 Uh, great. Did you hire Keith? 198 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,660 No. The pool is clean because of me. 199 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:32,786 Come home and look. 200 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,746 Jerry, please. I am literally 201 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,456 in the middle of something. 202 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,916 [ Call ends ] 203 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,916 Oh. 204 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,335 Fuckin' phone. Where'd you go? 205 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,045 Awaiting command. 206 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,254 [ Sighs ] 207 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:49,052 [ Laughing ] Whatcha doing? 208 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:52,055 Clean? 209 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,556 Alright. 210 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,976 This pool isn't gonna swim itself. 211 00:07:56,059 --> 00:08:00,563 How are you gonna clean -- Oh. That's nice. 212 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:04,359 Wow. You... You're really being thorough. 213 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:08,196 Maybe we...we should stop. 214 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,572 [ Romantic music playing ] 215 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:13,451 ♪ Oh, baby, now I'm lost ♪ 216 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:16,788 ♪ In your secret love ♪ 217 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,708 ♪ You pulled me down ♪ 218 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:22,794 ♪ Where no one can find us ♪ 219 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:26,965 ♪ My lover in the darkest part of night ♪ 220 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:30,635 ♪ They'll never pull me from your arms ♪ 221 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:36,433 ♪ And into the light ♪ 222 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:40,478 ♪ Ohhhh ♪ 223 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,564 ♪ Ohhh ♪ 224 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:46,651 {\an8}[ Dramatic Asian music plays ] 225 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:47,986 {\an8}I'd be pissed if I had to climb 226 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,654 all these stupid steps with my legs. 227 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,949 [ Gong sounds ] 228 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,368 What is it? I'm watching TV. 229 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,078 Are you Gerd Jergins? 230 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,290 Did you train a guy named Liu Sin? 231 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,833 Ugh, that guy sucks. 232 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,209 We're in these antigrav suits 233 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,669 'cause your student death punched us. 234 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,504 You are not alone. 235 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,590 Liu Sin death punched my cat. 236 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,008 Ouch! 237 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,509 I want to do a bunch of science on your punch 238 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,219 to cure ourselves. 239 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,512 Just need to collect a little more Kung Fu data from you 240 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:15,597 so I can hack it. 241 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,307 You think me dumb? 242 00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:20,226 If I help you unlock the secrets of pressure-point fighting, 243 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,687 you are going to revenge all over Liu Sin. 244 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:26,775 The solution to violence is not more violence. 245 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,485 [ Cellphone rings ] 246 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:32,030 Hello? Are you coming over for mother's birthday or not? 247 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:35,033 What? No, no, no, no, you cannot bring all of them. 248 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,952 I'm not the one being difficult. You may bring one partner. 249 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,538 One. Not seven, for crying out loud. 250 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,790 It's weird! 251 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,790 [ Call ends ] 252 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,375 Oh, shit. 253 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,375 Trouble in paradise? 254 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:47,629 Oh, my daughter and I have a tricky relationship. 255 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:51,508 She is what the kids call today a "polycule." 256 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,718 In my day, we called them sluts. 257 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,221 If we helped you fix things with your daughter, 258 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,722 would you help us? 259 00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:05,396 Hmmmmmmmmmm- mmmmmmmmmmm. 260 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,898 Oh, my God, what have I done? 261 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,900 To confirm setting a daily reminder 262 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,568 for pool bot sexy time, say yes. 263 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,987 What? 264 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,987 I have compiled a list 265 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,531 of divorce attorneys in your area. 266 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,241 Would you like me to send? 267 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,243 No! Cancel, cancel! 268 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,620 Uh, hey, Beth. 269 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:21,788 You're right. 270 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,456 This pool bot is not working out. 271 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,834 We should hire Keith, the pool cleaner, like, today. 272 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,085 Can I have his number? 273 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,254 He's right next door? Great! 274 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,880 [ Beeps ] 275 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,757 [ Mimics explosion ] 276 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:36,261 {\an8}So great that you were in the area, Keith. 277 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,763 {\an8}When can you start? Like now? Now is good for us. 278 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,765 {\an8}I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mr. Smith, 279 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,267 {\an8}but I just packed up for the day. 280 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,769 {\an8}I'll pay you double if you -- if you start now. 281 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,604 {\an8}What's the hurry? 282 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,314 It looks like your pool's clean. 283 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,732 Whore! Whore! 284 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,359 What are you doing?! 285 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,735 Kill! Kill! 286 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,821 No, no! Let him go! 287 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,449 Task incomplete. 288 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,118 Kill, kill, kill! 289 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,619 Good Lord, she's gone rogue. 290 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:02,871 Oh! 291 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:05,373 Task incomplete. Kill. Kill. 292 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:07,584 And lastly, but not leastly, 293 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,586 this is Rizz, Milo and Kathleen. 294 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,087 It's too many people. 295 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,839 How will I remember all these names?! 296 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,632 Ugh, why do I even try? 297 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,843 I was intrigued by the floating pod man and his little helper. 298 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,178 But you'll never change. 299 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,013 You're still an old farty fart face. 300 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,806 My face does not fart! 301 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,850 You are disrespectful daughter! 302 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,394 Hey, respect cuts both ways. 303 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:28,021 Trust me. 304 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,982 You won't explode if you meet your daughter halfway. 305 00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:32,817 Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 306 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:35,612 It's not the seven partners that bother me. 307 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,698 It's that now there are seven ways 308 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:39,908 to get your heart broken. 309 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,784 Dad, this is the life I've chosen. 310 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,621 Please respect that. 311 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:49,292 Stephanie, you may bring everyone to Mom's birthday. 312 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,418 Everyone? 313 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,587 Yes. Milo, Kathleen, Rizz. 314 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,757 Oboe, Turmeric, Almond Butter and Bartholomew. 315 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,383 You're all welcome. 316 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,052 Thanks, Dad. 317 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,638 Looks like we lived up to our end of the bargain. 318 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,765 Well, I suppose I'd be a total dick 319 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,642 if I didn't give you what you want. 320 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:08,436 Your words. But, yeah. 321 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:09,896 Just hit the Punchamalizer. 322 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,648 Its AI will whip me up a death-punch cure. 323 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,067 I warn thee, Rick Sanchez. 324 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,527 Abusing the punch will bring down 325 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,738 tremendous fury upon you! 326 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,031 Punch up or shut up. 327 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,075 [ Sighs ] 328 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,661 [ Yelling ] 329 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:32,710 {\an8}♪♪ 330 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,587 [ Popping ] 331 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,381 [ Beeps ] 332 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,549 Did it work? I don't feel anything. 333 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,301 Only five ways to find out. 334 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,263 One...two... 335 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:44,597 three... 336 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,224 four... 337 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,226 five...six... 338 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,394 fucking seven! 339 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,728 Morty, we're cured! 340 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,647 You did it! We can walk forward! 341 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,024 [ Both laughing ] 342 00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,361 Oh, running around. 343 00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,654 [ Laughing continues ] 344 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,572 [ Door opens ] 345 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,572 Wubbalubbadubdub! 346 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,283 [ Door closes ] 347 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:07,412 [ Door opens, laughing continues ] 348 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,455 [ Handheld vacuum whirring ] 349 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:12,333 Rick: Hey, Liu! 350 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,711 Morty: Liu Sin! 351 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,880 Look who's walking forward now. 352 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,549 How is it that you live? 353 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,009 Science! 354 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,009 Science! 355 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,719 I have dissected the Exploding Heart Technique 356 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,971 and reverse-engineered all of martial arts. 357 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,390 The pre-programmed nanobots coursing through our veins 358 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:28,516 have given Morty and I... 359 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:30,101 Both: Kung Fu power. 360 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,811 Hmm! My martial-art skills are unmatched. 361 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,438 Prepare to die. [ Yells ] 362 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,648 Morty, you saw it! He came for me. 363 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,567 Let the ass-whoopin' begin. 364 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:45,074 {\an8}♪♪ 365 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:49,245 [ Yells ] 366 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:56,127 {\an8}♪♪ 367 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,880 First, I will give you whites a taste of hell, 368 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:02,800 and then you will apologize for bending my fender. 369 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,719 You want an apology? Come get it. 370 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,262 All: Yaaahhh! 371 00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:10,808 {\an8}♪♪ 372 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,397 Ah! Ah! Gross! Birds! 373 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,066 Birds pecking gross worms. 374 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:20,777 Ow! 375 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,153 [ Car alarm blaring ] 376 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,158 Hot. Too hot. 377 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,368 I need milk. 378 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,370 Aah! 379 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,415 [ Engine starts ] 380 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:35,708 [ Tires screech ] 381 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,211 Yaaaahh! 382 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,052 [ Moans ] 383 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,345 My thoughts are so big now. 384 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:52,183 {\an8}♪♪ 385 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,854 Ohh. That's better. 386 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,319 Aaaahhh! 387 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,405 [ Coughing ] 388 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,739 What am I doing here? 389 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,866 {\an8}And which Beth is the clone? 390 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,286 Now I remember. This guy sucks. 391 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,169 [ Yells ] 392 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,838 Rick: Reverse reverse punch! 393 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,548 Morty: I know you are, but what am I punch! 394 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,341 I'm rubber, you're glue punch! 395 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,056 [ People screaming ] 396 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,812 Unrepentant dogs! 397 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:41,524 You have disrespected the power of the punch. 398 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,193 Who the fuck is this guy? 399 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,903 It is Punchy, the ancient Demon-God of hitting things 400 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,530 and sweet drinks. 401 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,323 We be doomed. 402 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,868 Okay. We should be safe in here. 403 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,536 She can't move out of the pool. 404 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:54,704 "She"? 405 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,955 My robotic pool cleaner. 406 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,707 I upgraded her with shady software. 407 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,375 Then we had sex. 408 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,793 I think she's jealous and wants to kill you 409 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,378 because she loves me. 410 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,838 Ha. Mondays, right? 411 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:09,260 Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. 412 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:13,473 {\an8}♪♪ 413 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,349 Task incomplete. 414 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,227 Task incomplete. 415 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:21,355 {\an8}♪♪ 416 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:25,401 Task incomplete. Task incomplete. 417 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:26,819 [ Beeping ] 418 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:32,783 {\an8}♪♪ 419 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:38,581 {\an8}♪♪ 420 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:41,167 Huh? The house went into lockdown for no reason. 421 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,335 Is that bad? 422 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,838 You hear that? Sounds like water running. 423 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,717 Gerd did say abusing the punch 424 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,177 would bring great fury down on us. 425 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,013 Kung Fu is not about violence. 426 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:59,936 Now you will be punished by my champion kicking your ass. 427 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,395 [ Thunder crashes ] 428 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:04,815 {\an8}♪♪ 429 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:07,443 [ Laughs evilly ] 430 00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:08,819 It is Punchenhimer, 431 00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:11,447 the beast with a million pressure points. 432 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,116 It is impossible to strike all of them. 433 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,785 How are we supposed to hit them all? 434 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,995 [ Roars ] 435 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,622 Rick, this is my fault. 436 00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:21,958 Earlier today, in the Trader Joe's parking lot, 437 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,169 I backed into your spaceship on purpose. 438 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,045 What? 439 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,964 I am a lonely old man. 440 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,049 The only way I know how to connect with people 441 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,801 is through conflict. 442 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,303 Can you relate to that? 443 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,763 No. 444 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:39,308 Punchenhimer is on top of us. What are we gonna do? 445 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,186 I wish I had finished my training at Tiger's Nest. 446 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,147 Gerd Jergins was teaching me the ultimate move -- 447 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,983 the splatter bolt kick, 448 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,151 a rapid-fire attack stronger than any punch. 449 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:52,530 Alas, I do not have the knowledge to complete it. 450 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:55,032 Rick does. He gathered all Kung Fu data 451 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,784 when he dissected the Exploding Heart Technique. 452 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,411 It'll take a bit of field surgery. 453 00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,830 I am willing to endure whatever it takes 454 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,373 to reset the balance. 455 00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,041 Lie down. 456 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,752 I'll try to keep the rubble out of your chest. 457 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,297 Kill, kill, kill! 458 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,173 Oh, no. She's found her way in. 459 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,426 The pool bot is flooding the house to kill you, Keith. 460 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,636 We gotta swim upstairs before it's too late. 461 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,388 But I can't swim. 462 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,807 What? You clean pools! 463 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,807 That's my deepest shame. 464 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,184 This is a total nightmare for me. 465 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,811 Kill, kill, kill, kill. 466 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:24,895 Kill, kill -- 467 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:26,230 [ Grunts ] 468 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,151 Stay here. 469 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,028 It's my pool and my problem. 470 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,447 I'm the man of the house. 471 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,575 Kill, kill, kill. 472 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,702 Oh, no. Wait. 473 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,245 I'm sorry. 474 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:42,955 That other pool cleaner means nothing to me, baby. 475 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,665 Nothing. 476 00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,959 You gots to believe you're my one and only. 477 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,336 Task incomplete. 478 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,212 Shh. Our task is incomplete, 479 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,006 and I'm gonna fix that. 480 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:55,843 Set an appointment for pool bot sexy time 481 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,554 starting now. 482 00:18:58,596 --> 00:18:59,722 Clean? 483 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,933 ♪ Oh, baby, now I'm lost ♪ 484 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,895 ♪ In your secret love ♪ 485 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,939 [ Music continues ] 486 00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:10,566 [ Music slows down ] 487 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,735 [ Grunting ] 488 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:21,077 {\an8}♪♪ 489 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,252 [ Both coughing ] 490 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,046 Alright, Jerry, we need to talk about this pool. 491 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,090 [ Gasps ] Wow! 492 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,050 The pool looks great, Keith. 493 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,594 Uh, yeah. Nice job, buddy. 494 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,054 Sure. Yeah. 495 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,430 All it needed was a little elbow grease. 496 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,432 And Mr. Smith said he'll pay me 497 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,143 three times my usual rate. 498 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,020 [ Laughing ] Well, I never said... 499 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,189 Oh, you better pay up or I'll tell her 500 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,358 you fucked the pool bot. 501 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,693 Guys, I'm only 3 feet away. 502 00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:54,944 I can hear everything. 503 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:56,028 Jerry, you fucked the what now? 504 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,656 Um, the pool bot. 505 00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,241 It started cleaning my nipples. 506 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,451 And, you know, that's -- that's one of my go-tos. 507 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,912 So I started eating out her -- 508 00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,912 Dah-dah-da. 509 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,039 I don't care what you do with the appliances, Jerry. 510 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,041 My hair dryer makes me cum like a wild cat. 511 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,669 [ Roars, laughs evilly ] 512 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,129 Hold it, Punchenhimer! 513 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,463 Pack your bags, asshole! 514 00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,298 We're here to send you back to Hell. 515 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,467 Get ready to feel Kung Fu. 516 00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:22,638 Combined with fire. Yeah! 517 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:25,307 [ Lightning crashes ] 518 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,185 Let's fight one last time together. 519 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,563 Oh, yeah, baby! 520 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:36,152 [ All yelling ] 521 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,290 [ Punchenhimer farts ] 522 00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,459 Wasn't that refreshing? 523 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:55,671 You three have learned the value of nonviolence. 524 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,048 All is forgiven. 525 00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:01,177 [ Gong sounds ] 526 00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:01,177 Bye-e-e-e! 527 00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,512 Well, I'm bushed. 528 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,389 [ Car alarm blaring, woman screams ] 529 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,266 Almost done? 530 00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:09,143 All finished. What do you think, sir? 531 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,187 It's ready! Come and get it! 532 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,147 [ Upbeat music playing ] 533 00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:15,566 -Wow! -Damn, son. 534 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,276 That's clean. 535 00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,819 Our pool is amazing. You're the best dad ever. 536 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:22,156 Yeah. Who needs Boob World when we got Dad's pool? 537 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,033 I just want to make you all happy. 538 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,535 You did, Jerry. You really did. 539 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,120 Ah, yes! 540 00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:30,790 [ Laughter ] 541 00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:33,834 Oh, my God, I'm at a party. 542 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,255 Pool season, baby! Yeah! 543 00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:40,090 The Smith family has a pool! 544 00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:41,592 {\an8}Man: ♪ One taste of you ♪ 545 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:46,472 {\an8}♪ I knew I had to have more ♪ 546 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:52,186 {\an8}Woman: ♪ Your sweet taboo, it brought me to my knees ♪ 547 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:59,151 {\an8}Both: ♪ Oh, baby, now I'm lost in your secret love ♪ 548 00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:02,404 {\an8}♪ You pulled me down ♪ 549 00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:05,658 {\an8}♪ Where no one can find us ♪ 550 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:09,703 {\an8}♪ My lover in the darkest part of night ♪ 551 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:13,916 {\an8}♪ They'll never pull me from your arms ♪ 552 00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:17,002 Beth, we talked about this. 553 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:19,255 Okay, I-I forgot. 554 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,758 Thank you. 555 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,303 It's not the same. 556 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,264 Yeah, I know. 557 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,767 {\an8}Did you get any of that? 38444

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