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1
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,897
Here's to surviving
the holidays.
2
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,133
(chuckles) To Bloody Marys.
3
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,267
(Joffrey coos)
4
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,338
And pumping and dumping.
5
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,173
Right, my little
buzzy wuzzy buzzkill?
6
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,008
(Joffrey coos)
7
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,010
Dad said you guys are
ironing things out.
8
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,046
Yeah. Trying to, at least.
9
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,348
Looks like Christmas wasn't
such a bad idea after all.
10
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,983
You're welcome.
11
00:00:50,985 --> 00:00:54,586
God, this drawing
almost ruined everything.
12
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,022
It's weird.
Mom said it was yours,
13
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,191
but I swear
I remember drawing it.
14
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,427
No. No, she's right.
That's one of my drawings.
15
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:04,263
Yeah.
(scratching)
16
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,265
Um, are you gonna
let Wilfred in?
17
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,167
He's just gonna keep
scratching if you don't.
18
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:10,469
I'm gonna pee.
19
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:16,008
What are you doing?
Just letting
the world know
20
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:19,011
what a versatile guy you are.
"A little bit country,
21
00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:21,613
a little bit rock 'n' roll"?
So, what did Kristen say
22
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,950
about the drawing?
I was just asking her about it
when you interrupted me.
23
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:27,252
I'm gonna have to sand
and repaint this.
24
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,620
Dude, it's a compliment.
25
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,689
I'm basically saying
you're Kid Rock.
26
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,460
My cab's here.
I'm gonna get a bikini wax,
27
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:37,129
and I want to still be a little
buzzed when the lady rips it.
28
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:40,466
Uh, oh, hey, real quick.
Um, I-I was just wondering.
29
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:43,235
Who's that character?
Oh!
30
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,038
That's Mr. Floppy Ears.
It was just a silly
31
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,773
imaginary character
I used to draw.
Oh.
32
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,408
H-How'd you come up
with him?
33
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,076
I don't know.
I probably made him up.
34
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,778
It's what most kids do.
35
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,780
Kind of reminds me of Wilfred.
36
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,148
(scratching)
37
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,050
You know,
you talk about Wilfred more
38
00:01:58,052 --> 00:02:00,152
than most people talk
about their neighbors' dogs.
39
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:03,555
I guess I just...
Nobody talks about their
neighbors' dogs, Ryan.
40
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:05,991
(groans)
41
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,060
(sighs) (Joffrey babbling)
42
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,331
Thanks.
What? It's
not finished.
43
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,600
"Ryan is a little bit
44
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,668
chiseled."
It's true.
45
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,003
You look good.
46
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,471
Have you been working out?
47
00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:28,247
(phone camera shutter clicking)
48
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,617
Oh. It's for my Instagram.
49
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,252
If all my friends
50
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,254
don't see a photo
of every single meal I eat,
51
00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,089
they'll probably start
to think I'm weird.
52
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:39,191
Although, since Jenna and Drew
cut me off from people food,
53
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:42,127
it's pretty much been
the same photo.
54
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,463
So Kristen was a dead end, huh?
Pretty much.
55
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:47,366
I mean, she thinks
she drew the drawing.
56
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,368
"Mr. Floppy Ears."
57
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:53,205
Then again, I saw myself doing
it in my memory from therapy.
58
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,274
Well, maybe it would help
to give it a rest for a while.
59
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:57,109
You know, distract yourself.
60
00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:58,544
We could play a game.
61
00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:01,547
Um..."Balderdash"?
"Scattergories"?
62
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:04,116
You think that would help?
Well, it's like
63
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:05,384
the pill in the cheese.
64
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,186
Once a month, Jenna wraps
65
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,621
these heartworm pills,
which I hate,
66
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,790
in cheese, which I love.
67
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,225
I could never solve the problem
68
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,227
of how to eat the cheese
but not the pills.
69
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,562
Until one day,
70
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,530
I go outside
and I have a little game
71
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,465
of Growly Stick Tug with Drew.
72
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:23,302
I come back in,
and then suddenly...
73
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,204
inspiration struck.
74
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,539
What did you do?
Well, I started
stashing the pills
75
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,908
between my lips and gums.
76
00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:33,478
That's disgusting.
77
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:37,849
I just wish there was
some other way
78
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,885
to get more information
about that drawing.
79
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:43,722
Nice. I already got 17 likes
on my latest Instagram.
80
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,557
All my peeps are bugging out
81
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,160
'cause now they know
what my meal looked like.
82
00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:49,394
Your peeps?
83
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,463
Wilfred, you don't have any...
84
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,932
Bruce.
85
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,235
What about Bruce?
86
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,502
He's known you for a long time,
87
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,271
right?
88
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:01,273
Plus, he's a part of this.
89
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,741
Wh-What if he knows something?
90
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,676
No, Ryan, Bruce
cannot be trusted.
91
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:08,213
He's a snake.
Well, sure,
he's a little shady, but...
92
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:10,515
N-No, I mean he's
literally a snake.
93
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:13,285
You know,
like a hissing, slithering...
94
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,287
snake.
95
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,722
What snake thing is that?
You know,
96
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,290
when you catch a snake
and you try to eat it
97
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:19,524
but it bites the inside
of your mouth
98
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,792
and it makes
your cheek swell up.
99
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:23,195
Like...
No.
100
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:25,797
And I've seen Bruce.
He's definitely not a snake.
Oh.
101
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,799
Because snakes don't walk around
on two legs
102
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,701
and have opposable thumbs
and talk to you.
103
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,136
Kind of like dogs, right?
104
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,638
But most importantly,
105
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,307
have you ever seen Bruce alone
in a room
106
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,443
with a mongoose?
Stop playing
mind games with me.
107
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,445
What if I started
messing with your head?
108
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,815
(laughing):
Oh, my... Oh... I'm sorry.
109
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,818
That is the cutest thing
I've ever heard.
110
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,254
(laughing hysterically)
111
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:50,656
You are adorable!
112
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,658
I'm the master of mind games.
113
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,326
That's what I do.
114
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,794
No one mind-rapes people
like I do,
115
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,162
least of all...
116
00:04:57,164 --> 00:05:00,232
Shit, there's someone
at the front door.
117
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,845
WILFRED:
Okay, that is
the weirdest thing ever.
118
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,580
There's no one there,
but clearly
119
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,349
there was a knock
on the front door.
(knocking on door)
120
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,584
There's someone
at the door again.
121
00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:33,031
Ryan?
122
00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:35,767
Bruce?
123
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:39,838
Shit.
124
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,007
Well, it's quite a surprise,
you just showing up
125
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,608
out of the blue like this, Ryan.
126
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,444
Sorry, I-I just thought...
127
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,279
What? That I had
murdered
128
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:48,513
an elderly couple?
129
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,948
Was living in their house,
130
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,451
cashing their
Social Security checks?
131
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,319
I mean, I get it, Ryan.
132
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,555
I mean, I give off
that vibe, don't I?
133
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:57,956
No.
134
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:01,393
Deb and her daughter
have taken me in like...
135
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,795
family.
136
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,731
Hey, they look nice.
137
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,333
They are nice.
138
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,536
They're away at a Christian
retreat this weekend.
139
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,704
If you're here to visit,
140
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,406
your shoes have to come off.
141
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,475
Deb's rule.
142
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,677
I got your address off
of Wilfred's phone.
143
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,380
I was actually surprised that
we live so close to each other.
144
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,914
Did Wilfred send you over here?
145
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,584
H-He doesn't know I'm here;
I swear.
146
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,053
Well, he must've
really pissed you off, huh?
147
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,588
Let me guess.
148
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,023
He had you kick
your cousin's kid in the face
149
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:35,060
with a running start, didn't he?
What? No.
150
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,928
He didn't have me do that
either.
Look,
151
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,931
I-I tracked you down
because I have some questions.
152
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:42,768
I-I was hoping that we could...
Is this
153
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,369
crayon-related?
154
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:46,405
Yeah.
155
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,673
I knew this day
was gonna come, Ryan.
156
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:50,776
Are you familiar
157
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,778
with the concept of wormholes?
158
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:53,879
Like...
159
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,614
time travel?
Yeah.
160
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,616
Like time tr...
161
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,618
You know what?
162
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,720
I think I've said
too much already.
163
00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,922
This is a bad idea.
I think you should leave.
No, no.
164
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,791
No, I-I need to know.
165
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,627
H-How long has Wilfred
been in my life?
166
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,362
Why is he in my life?
167
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,733
Are you sure you're ready
for those answers, Ryan?
168
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,801
Yes.
169
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:18,870
Well, there's gonna be a price.
170
00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:21,640
I want Wilfred's testicles.
171
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,376
Really?
Look, you know
as well as I do
172
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,411
that Wilfred's aggressive.
173
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,413
He won't stop
till he gets what he wants,
174
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,382
usually at our expense.
175
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:33,418
He's a bad dog. Bad dog!
176
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:36,388
And how do you take
a dog's aggression away?
177
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:39,090
(imitates scissors snipping)
178
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,826
Isn't there something else
I could...
I want
179
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,061
his balls, Ryan.
180
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:59,010
What are you reading?
181
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,012
Um...
182
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,848
Eyes up here, mate.
183
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:06,485
Just... reading
an article.
184
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,487
Sorry. Pardon me.
185
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,489
Pardon. Whoa.
Can you just move?!
186
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:13,425
Hey. What's going on?
187
00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:14,593
Are you okay?
188
00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:17,596
I went and saw Bruce.
189
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:19,764
Damn it, Ryan!
190
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,533
I told you he's bad news!
191
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,368
I'm sorry.
192
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,970
B-But, listen...
193
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:28,039
I-I think he might actually know
something about you and me.
194
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,641
Something big.
195
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,176
How big?
196
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,546
Like...
"where you came from" big.
And I assume
197
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,516
that dirty prick wants something
in return for it.
198
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,783
Yes.
199
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,552
A-And I should've
told you earlier.
200
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:41,987
And-and I swear,
I-I was never actually
201
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,388
gonna do anything.
Spit it out.
202
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:45,624
Spit it out, mate.
203
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,626
He wants your testicles.
204
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:51,129
The family grape seeds?
(scoffing laugh)
205
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,532
Okay. Well,
206
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,067
if it's balls Bruce wants,
207
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,670
then it's balls
Bruce shall have.
208
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,506
Are you familiar
with Vincenzo's Gourmet Meats?
209
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,508
That place on Rose?
210
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,510
They make a specialty meatball
211
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:08,980
that happens to look identical
to a dog testicle.
212
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:12,918
Tender veal,
ground pork sausage,
213
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,655
slivers of fried garlic and
the slightest hint of paprika.
214
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:19,891
Mmm. They sound delicious.
215
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,726
It doesn't matter
what they taste like.
216
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:25,096
All that matters
is what they look like.
Stop it!
217
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,165
This is just another one
of your mind games.
218
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,667
What are you talking about?
You saw
219
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,936
how focused I was
on the drawing, so you got Bruce
220
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,604
to trick me into thinking
he could help.
221
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,607
All because Jenna stopped
letting you eat people food.
222
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,776
If I was working with Bruce,
why wouldn't I just ask Bruce
223
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,111
to buy the meatballs for me?
Oh, wait,
224
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,948
I'm sure you have the perfect
explanation for that, too.
225
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:47,185
Uh, because Bruce and I
are both banned from Vincenzo's.
226
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,620
Yeah, that's it.
227
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,121
Mate...
228
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,756
I'm on your side.
229
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,091
And I'm telling you,
230
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,260
I know Bruce.
231
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,629
And I know my testicles.
232
00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:00,098
This will work.
233
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,102
Hmm.
234
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,471
So I'm thinking we should
maybe get three meatballs.
235
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:07,706
You know, in case we drop one.
236
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:08,974
Why not four?
237
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:11,476
Totally. Better
to be safe than sorry.
238
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,812
Maybe we should
just get a dozen.
Dude, seriously, it's like
239
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,547
you're reading my mind
right now.
240
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:18,216
By the way, this is the longest
way ever to Vincenzo's.
241
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,118
Wait, we're not near
Vincenzo's.
242
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,553
(panicked):
Ryan, what's going on?
243
00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:23,822
Sorry, Wilfred, but this
is the only way.
244
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:26,625
Ryan?! Ryan!
245
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,793
Ryan!
(techs grunting)
246
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,161
You weren't kidding.
247
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,597
He's a handful.
WILFRED:
Ryan!
248
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,165
He put up quite
a fight at first.
249
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,667
But after we sedated him,
250
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,569
the ear cleaning
couldn't have gone smoother.
251
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,971
Thanks, Doctor.
252
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,574
(door shuts)
253
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:54,319
Who's the master
of mind games now?
254
00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:05,597
(groans) Shh...
255
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:07,165
What's happening?
Shh.
256
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,533
Oh.
257
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:11,703
You're okay, Wilfred. Shh.
(groaning)
258
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:14,706
No. No, no, no!
259
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:20,045
(crying):
No...!
260
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,280
It was the only way, Wilfred.
261
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,116
Well, I couldn't risk
missing out on answers...
262
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,819
the answers... for some
meatball switcheroo.
263
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:31,156
Ryan, you idiot,
there were never any answers!
264
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,724
But Bruce said...
265
00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:33,958
Bruce was lying!
266
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,695
He was in it
for the meatballs, same as me!
267
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:39,030
Vincenzo banned us
from the deli,
268
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,033
just like I told you
sarcastically.
269
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,702
(crying)
270
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:47,305
Oh, my beautiful,
little poppy seeds.
271
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:50,008
(crying) Wilfred, listen, I...
272
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,077
How could you do this to me?
273
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:56,147
I mean, sure, Bruce and I
were mind-gaming you, but...
274
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,583
this is worse than anything
I ever did to you.
275
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:02,721
I know. That-that's why I...
And I've done some awful,
awful things to you.
276
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,155
Registering you
277
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,024
as a sex offender
in the state of Oregon?
278
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,727
Putting fake blood stains
on the ass of your shorts
279
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:11,096
just before you go bike riding?
280
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,732
(moans)
281
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:16,701
You have done some
awful, awful things to me.
282
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,103
But this!
283
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,039
Everything else pales
in comparison.
284
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,074
I know.
285
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,777
I'm really sorry it
turned out this way.
286
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,779
No, it's okay.
287
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,114
(sniffles)
288
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,615
Now that I have no balls,
289
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:34,219
it's kind of hard
to stay angry at you.
290
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,788
I've heard that some dogs,
291
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:40,759
once they're neutered,
they start to... change.
292
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,394
Do you think I will change?
293
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,929
It's possible.
294
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,132
(whining) Oh!
295
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,400
God, I hate it
when I get like this.
296
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,803
My emotions are just,
like, all over the place.
297
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,805
(sighs)
298
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:57,041
No, no, no. The doctor said
to wait at least 24 hours.
299
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,746
Oh, shit! I forgot
this toy store was here.
300
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,815
Sorry. God, it must be tough
301
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,151
to look at all these fresh,
untouched stuffed animals
302
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,786
now that your sex drive's gone.
303
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,221
I-I'd take you inside, but...
304
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:14,459
This bag is majorly cute, Ryan.
305
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,761
I can totally see
you carrying that
306
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:20,064
with my head sticking
out the top of it.
307
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,666
Hey, you!
308
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:22,901
You look good.
309
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,769
Did you lose weight?
310
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,338
We're totally hanging out
for brunch soon, okay?
311
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,674
She is so fat.
312
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:33,111
Wilfred, don't you want to check
out that toy store back there?
313
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:36,781
Uh, yuck! My ears are, like,
totally having a bad moment.
314
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,851
Okay, I really think
you should come see that store.
315
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,186
Wow.
316
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:44,022
Seriously, it's
moments like this
317
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,857
that I'm glad I no longer
have testosterone.
318
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,860
Men are from Mars.
319
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,863
Everyone knows
store lighting can't be trusted,
320
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,932
especially when you have
a non-traditional figure.
321
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,366
So, try it on now.
322
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,969
Ew, I'm not changing
in front of you.
323
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,370
Wilfred, I have
to tell you something.
Wait.
324
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,940
Come tell me if you think
this sweater is totally fierce.
325
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,374
And be honest!
326
00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:06,377
Wilfred?
327
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,346
(shrieks)
328
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,053
Oh, fabulous.
329
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,988
You're awake.
330
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,356
So... (laughs)
331
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,825
All numbed up, are we?
332
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,227
What the hell is going on?!
333
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,295
Shh, relax. See,
334
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,331
the thing is, well, as
you know, I've changed.
335
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,299
For the better, I think.
336
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,870
But you're still the same
old macho, manly man.
337
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:36,407
And if we're gonna stay
best friends, well...
338
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,542
I'm sorry, Ryan.
339
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,178
Wilfred, let me go!
340
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,347
We're gonna be such bitches!
341
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,915
(gasps)
342
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:50,388
No, no, no, no, no! Wilfred, I
didn't really have you neutered!
343
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,023
Everything you're feeling,
is only psychosomatic!
344
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:55,059
But you did have my ears
cleaned, which is bad enough.
345
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:58,196
Wait. So, you...
346
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,497
Of course I knew.
347
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,199
I warned you, Ryan.
348
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,334
Never try to mind-game
the master.
349
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:07,338
Not to mention, pretending
to neuter your best friend?
350
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,275
That's like the worst thing
a guy can do to another guy.
351
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,243
Not cool!
But you started it!
352
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,279
It doesn't matter! You
punched me in the nuts!
353
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,347
Which reminds
me. (grunts)
(yells)
354
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,416
(groans) Oh, come on!
355
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,451
You got me harder
than I got you!
356
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,120
Aah!
357
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,422
Oh, what is this,
a dick punch fight?
358
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,190
Oh, God!
(coughs)
Oh!
359
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,793
Look at us, Ryan.
360
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,262
At each other's throats, messing
with each other's heads.
361
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,464
How did it come to this?
362
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,300
Or more importantly,
363
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,802
who would want it
to come to this?
364
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:40,104
Bruce.
Bruce.
365
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,373
God, it all makes sense.
366
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,276
He knew we'd start
mind-gaming each other.
367
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,477
I bet he's laughing
his ass off right now.
368
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:49,147
So, this was all just a game.
369
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,315
He totally played us.
370
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,950
Not yet.
371
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,885
This game's not over.
372
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,455
BRUCE:
Come on in, Ryan.
373
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,891
I'm surprised
you got here this soon.
374
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,993
We got to do this quick.
375
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,461
Deb just ran out to get Tammy
376
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,330
at oboe practice.
They're coming back here,
377
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,332
we're gonna watch
Biggest Loser together.
378
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,834
Are you okay, buddy?
379
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:12,971
Oh, Wilfred and I sort
of had a little fight.
380
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,238
Did you now?
381
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,940
Wow. That's a shame.
382
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,509
Two amigos fighting like that.
383
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,411
Well, here they are.
384
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,612
I got them.
385
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,514
I didn't think
you had it in you, Ryan.
386
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:27,352
(laughing):
Whoa!
387
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,488
You be sure and tell Wilfred
he can come over here
388
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,524
any time he wants and take
a look at these.
Actually...
389
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,994
there was a complication
with the surgery.
390
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,363
What kind of complication?
He...
391
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,232
He didn't make it.
392
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,336
Bullshit.
393
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:48,339
No, no, no, no.
394
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,607
Wilfred can't die, Ryan.
395
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,542
That's not how this works!
396
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,945
But you... you wanted
to hurt him, right?
397
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,480
You said he was a bad dog.
398
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:56,881
Yeah.
399
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,549
Hurt him.
I didn't want him killed!
400
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,218
Oh, my God.
401
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:01,386
Don't you get it?
402
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,021
Without Wilfred,
403
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,622
I got no purpose!
404
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,290
Oh, my God!
405
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,558
I'm nothin'!
406
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,228
Well, at least
you have Deb and Tammy.
407
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,462
Deb and Tammy... shit!
408
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:12,530
I can't believe it!
409
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,464
Goddamn it!
410
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,400
This is over.
411
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,702
It's over.
412
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:21,906
Holy shit! Bruce!
413
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,474
Oh, Jesus.
414
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,209
No! No! No!
415
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,444
No!
416
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,414
WILFRED:
Hi, Ryan.
417
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,349
(Bruce laughs) Boom!
418
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,084
Mind-gamed, bitch!
419
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,085
(laughing):
Gotcha!
420
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,920
You're insane!
421
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,422
Uh, insane in the membrane.
422
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,057
Yeah. You know what?
423
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,192
I can't believe
you made fun of me
424
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,261
for taking that special effects
class at the Learning Annex.
425
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,495
You guys
426
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,097
are psychopaths.
427
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,532
No! No, it was just
428
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,400
a prank, Ryan.
When Wilfred told me
429
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,601
that you were gonna try
430
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,370
and put one over on me,
I couldn't resist.
431
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,539
WILFRED:
I even got him
to buy the meatballs
432
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,441
after all.
433
00:17:56,443 --> 00:18:01,712
I do love me
some Vincenzo's meatballs.
434
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,514
I thought you were
my friend, Wilfred.
I am your friend.
435
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:06,050
That's why I had to teach you
a valuable lesson.
436
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:08,119
Never try and mind-game
the masters of mind games.
437
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:10,354
You cannot win.
438
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,295
What's the matter, Wilfred?
439
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,529
Does it taste a little nutty?
440
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:21,466
N-No.
441
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:24,302
But there's no way you...?
442
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,704
Stole a pair of dog testicles
from the biological waste bin
443
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,540
at the vet earlier today 'cause
I figured you'd double-cross me?
444
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:33,077
No, I couldn't possibly do that.
445
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,379
How could I mind-game
the masters of mind-games?
446
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,215
Let me get this straight.
447
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,549
I'm not gonna be dining
448
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,618
on Vincenzo's
gourmet meatballs today?
449
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:43,421
Goddamn it!
450
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,589
I went through all this shit
451
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,624
for zero meatballs?!
452
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,494
Get the hell out
of my house, Ryan!
453
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,728
Get out of my house, Wilfred!
454
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:54,298
Get out! Take that damn
dog testicle with you.
455
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,402
Ryan, I've got to say,
456
00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,637
I was impressed back there.
457
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,506
Good game.
458
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,508
You're not mad at me for
making you eat a dog testicle?
459
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,677
Well, actually, it was tastier
than one might think.
460
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,679
I swiped the other one
on my way out.
461
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,581
I'm saving it for
later tonight.
462
00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:16,420
Oh, shit!
463
00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:18,723
Did I leave that on
for three days?
464
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:24,695
I'll admit, it was nice to get
away from this for a while.
465
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,365
Games are always a
good distraction.
466
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,702
Uh, it's Kristen's
drawing, but...
467
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,705
I saw myself making it.
468
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,708
I saw myself...
469
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,378
drawing the blue barn.
470
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,613
Well, may-maybe
that's all I drew,
471
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,849
but why would I...?
472
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:17,248
Oh, I can't find
anything on the symbol.
473
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,717
Have you learnt nothing, Ryan?
474
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:23,387
I mean, how did you even find it
in the first place?
475
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,823
You need some distance.
476
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:41,572
Serious question:
477
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,242
If you knew that you
could get away with it,
478
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,245
would you rape... someone?
479
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:50,715
No. Of course not.
480
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,783
You know, I'm like-like
talking about,
481
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,553
like, say, if you knew there
was, like, zero chance
482
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:58,389
that you could get caught,
like, would you...
483
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:01,525
rape... someone?
484
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:05,796
Under no circumstance
would I ever do that.
485
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,267
Nah, me, neither.
34196
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