Original subtitles

Here is Timmy, not close-minded.

Looking for love, wants to find it.

Let's meet Luce, woman of fashion.

But then got fired for her nudist passion.

There's a place of sun and sand, au naturel.

They call it Nudeland.

It's parts unknown, it's a new day.

And they are naked, but not afraid.

A body positive land.

The noodles of Nudeland.

The noodles of Nudeland.

Nude isn't lewd.

With the noodles of Nudeland.

There's barbed wire, tough as an army vet.

With no uniform to absorb her sweat.

And hippy-dippy, mondo man.

Obsessed with burritos I don't understand.

Also journey an artsy sister.

Shining her light to missus and misters.

If you're clothes-free, avoid demons' eyes.

Maybe chunky-dunk or hide in the vines.

The noodles of Nudeland.

What a great textile day.

Your clothing looks appropriate and fitting.

Absolutely.

As it should.

Have anything dirty or any way suggestive.

From the eyes of others.

I mean, could you imagine?

If we didn't have these layers protecting us.

From sin and depravity.

It'd be an orgy.

Of course.

We couldn't even think for ourselves.

It would be animal madness.

Like um.

What's it called?

The pervy naked one.

Oh right.

There's an article about that in the newspaper.

They claim to have a 99% drop in violence.

And zero sex crime.

What's it called?

Um.

The naked town.

Yeah.

Weirnville.

Buttland.

Yeah.

Russians should put pants on.

It should.

It would be Barcelona.

Oh!

It's called Nudeland.

I wonder what kind of person would fit in there.

Oh, what a lovely day to be alive and fully clothed.

Well, I don't want to miss any of the sunshine that won't touch all of my body.

Well, so I'm off to work at the fashion designer label company.

Maybe on my way I'll stop by that Mexican park.

Yeah, we just call it the park.

Oh, right.

Well, maybe I'll see you there later.

Or at my job at the fashion designer label company.

Bye.

There's just something awful about that girl.

Like, we're not seeing the real her.

Right?

I mean, what's up with the hair?

The flower in her hair.

I mean, what is it supposed to be like a Disney cartoon?

Right?

It's disgusting.

Weird.

She's trying too hard to show that she's Mexican.

I know.

She's even wearing, like, a Mexican dress to show that she's Mexican.

And calling the park a Mexican- Mexican park!

Thank you.

I just don't get the people I work with.

I'm probably going to get fired today.

Everyone's so hung up on designer labels and what's in fashion this season.

What about what's in your heart?

Clothes just breaks people into these social

circles and it's based on how much money you make.

I just don't care.

I mean, why is everybody so close-minded?

I guess I just don't belong in Mexico.

I wonder if I belong anywhere.

I wonder if there's anyone else in the world that feels the way I do.

I just love being an American.

For breakfast, I had a hot dog and a hamburger and...

...and apple pie.

I love us.

I say, what's in this conveniently placed article over here?

Something to further along plot?

Actually, yes.

It's an article about that new naturalist and

nudist country, Newdland, where all of these...

...A-holes walk around completely naked with no clothes on.

Have they no shame?

Have they no shame?

Apparently not.

If I saw a naked guy walking around, I would just scream and run away.

Or laugh.

Either way, it'd be weird.

The following is a paid advertisement for Newdland.

As the Prime Minister, I think Newdland is fantastic, of course.

But don't just take my word for it.

Listen to the people who are actually living here.

Are you tired of clothes?

Are you tired of fabric?

Well, you can join all these wonderful people at Newdland.

People used to call me the Newd Gardener.

Around here, I'm just the Gardener.

I'm Ashley.

Welcome to Newdland.

I really hope you like it here.

Yeah, I moved here a couple years back.

I am Dr. Benjamin Franklin.

Here I am in my birthday suit, which is the way God created me.

In my birthday suit.

Hi, I'm Eve.

Welcome to Newdland.

Everyone has their own reasons for coming to Newdland.

Like our own artist, Ashley.

I actually had a really hard time getting into galleries, you know.

They would always say that they had problems

with the female presenting nipples, you know.

They could hang up naked illustrations if they were from some old dead white guy.

Move to Newdland, and everything's been great ever since.

Hope you like it here too.

I'm Dr. Benjamin Franklin.

Help and join me.

Yay!

Come to Newdland.

Book your vacation today.

Offer valid in most free countries.

I mean, what kind of sick, twisted, messed up

individual would just embrace a lifestyle like that?

It's a great day to be alive, right?

Sunshine?

You know, today I might go to that great American park.

Yes.

We just call it the park.

Right, right, the park.

I'm going to get going.

I'll see you guys later.

Good catching up with you.

There's something not quite right about him.

I mean, did you see him?

Smiling.

Happy.

I mean, what does he have to be happy about anyway?

He didn't even have shoes on.

What a nut.

No, what a nut.

My favorite garden.

One place I can go to think and be alone.

It's like everyone is so stupid.

Society is all focused on clothing.

Nobody goes, oh, look, a naked cat.

Oh, look, a naked horse.

No, it's just a cat and a horse.

If God wanted us to be naked, we would have been born that way.

And we are.

Oh, it just makes sense if you stop and think about it.

I wonder if there's anyone out there who feels the way that I do.

Anyone at all.

And he's naked again.

I didn't.

She's going to look.

She's going to look.

Ladybug, hey, I did it.

I stood in line all night.

I got you tickets to your favorite play.

I love you so much.

Look, look, we're having so much fun.

I can't wait.

This is going to be great.

Okay.

Is it a play that I will like or one that you will like?

Because the last time you bought tickets, it

was for Hair, Ocalcada, and Disroad, where

there was a bunch of naked people, a cast of nude actors.

You know, I could return those.

I could get another.

There's going to be another.

Front row tickets.

Oh, gosh, you're my ladybug.

Hey, look at our naked butts.

We so naked.

Yippee, yippee.

We so nude.

A play in three acts.

Your favorite, right?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Why do you think I would like something like this?

You know what?

I can't do this anymore.

I can't date you anymore.

What?

Is it because I'm a fat guy?

No.

Is it my man boobs?

No.

Small penis.

No.

Do you really think I'm that shallow?

I mean, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

I've dated so many men with so many different sizes.

It's just that I love their face.

And you make me laugh.

I just, I don't know.

Let me get that for you.

Oh my God.

What?

You're so naked.

Why do you have to be naked all the time?

I can't do that.

You know, there's society and there's you.

You don't fit into society.

You just don't.

You know, maybe you should join a nudist colony.

It's called a resort.

And I've tried.

I have tried.

The thing, the problem with that is it's a bait and switch.

They don't actually do what they say they're going to do.

Like I contacted one nudist resort and it was a secret swinger's place.

They told me to go find a cute girl and then

come back, which is gross and homophobic because what if I was gay?

What if it was two guys?

There's no girl.

They didn't think that through at all.

And the other thing is they say they want to attract younger people.

And then on the weekend, they have chili cook off and bingo night.

And as far as swingers go, I'm not being judgmental.

It's just not my bag.

Look.

Look, I, I, I'm sorry.

Well, listen, if you, if you're breaking up

with me, you're going to make me a single man.

And you know what nudist resorts hate?

Single men.

I can't even go.

Look, I love you.

I just, this isn't us.

Don't you get it?

It's not us.

You want to be naked all the time.

I just want to look at shoes and put on makeup

and, you know, be able to go out in public.

Look, I know, I know that there's someone out there for you.

There is.

You're going to find your tribe.

I know that you're going to find someone for

you, someone special that's going to understand you for who you are.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, fat boy.

Of course she left you.

You don't belong anywhere.

Nobody will ever understand you.

And you want to know why you are alone.

Your family doesn't get you.

Your friends don't get you.

And the love of your life just abandoned

you because of your grotesque, bulbous body.

Face it, Tim.

You will die alone.

Jeez.

Voices in my head hurt.

On the bright side, this couldn't get any worse.

What do we have here?

One of them hippies?

You a hippie boy?

No, sir.

No dress?

This is indecent exposure.

This is the human body.

It's not indecent.

Wait a minute.

You're Tim Chismar.

You've been arrested like 733 times.

Well, this is it.

This is the last one.

Because I'm going to put in a transfer to have you expedited out of the USA.

So I'm not going to jail?

Worse than that.

I'm going to send you to a country where everybody's naked.

You're going to run around naked.

And people everywhere are naked.

Hey, all right.

I'm going to send you all expenses paid to Nudeland.

Unless you like that, then I'm not going to send you.

No, I would definitely not like to go to a Nudeland.

No, no, no.

No, no.

No, that would be awful.

Good, good.

Let's go to Nudeland.

What?

And there you go, sir.

Thank you.

I am Prime Minister Pierre Moustache.

And it is my exalted duty to welcome people to Nudeland.

I trust you've packed your bags and brought them with you full of clothing?

Excellent, sir.

Excellent.

I know, I know.

I should have been a comedian.

Who do we have next?

Ah, yes.

Tim Chismar.

Welcome, Tim, to a land where bodies are innocent and pure.

Where we go back to nature and where you can

finally be with folks who think like you and who get it.

Welcome to Nudeland.

Welcome, Tim.

Welcome, Tim.

Thank you.

Three a.m. I'm lost in Sheffield.

These are both just fantastic.

We're going to have to pick one of them, right?

We do.

I love the grace of this one.

It captures her going down almost flawlessly.

I really love the bubbling effect.

I've been in that moment so much, but I really do like this one.

I think they're both great.

But really the color scheme of this one is

really, I think, what captures my attention.

The way that each of the light is fractaling is just...

Yeah, and I like the reflection here.

It's very real.

And I think it's just...

It's more even just the way that the pool is and the curvature.

I love them both.

It's immaculate.

I don't know.

I want them both, but... Yeah.

I guess we're going to have to go... You know, my friends, it looks like you're

trying to decide about some paintings, right?

Yeah.

Art is about being in the moment.

And I got to tell you, it seems like these are connecting

with both of you, so I think you should buy them both.

I think we should.

There's something to that.

I think we're going to go ahead and get both.

I think we need to get both.

Lovely.

I'll take this one.

Okay.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Your work is beautiful.

It's wonderful.

You capture the human form wonderfully.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You know, I actually do ceramics and pottery, and I make vessels,

and I would be honored if you'd ever paint on one of them.

That'd be so cool.

Oh, my gosh.

That would be so exciting.

I love collaborating with other artists.

Please leave your card with me.

I will.

Thank you.

Awesome.

Well, let's get back before it gets too hot.

Thank you again.

Bye-bye.

I think you may have a career selling art.

Tim, that was incredible.

Are you sure you're happy working for clothes-free?

I am in interesting, unique, special court site,

Arizona, at the world-famous Magic Circle nude area.

And you know something?

Nudes of the News starts now!

As a nude caster, I would love to have you sell art for me.

That I smile.

I did make it myself.

The smile.

I love being a nudes caster.

It was a dream come true.

I was a fan before I ever moved to Nudeland and

was able to actually work with the nudes crew.

So, for me, I'm happy.

But, as far as this goes, the right person will come along.

All right.

All right.

All right.

But, what about your dating life?

What about it?

It's awful.

It's a disaster.

It's so bad.

It's a toxic waste dump.

It is explosions and tears.

It is the worst.

Are you trying to get fresh with me?

No, no.

I would never... I would never... Oh, what the... Oh, what the... Oh, jeez.

Oh, I'm blind.

What?

Something I said?

So, I've had a really nice time with you.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, thanks.

Good.

Are you trying to get fresh with me?

What?

What?

No!

I can't believe it.

Are you getting fresh with me?

What?

No!

I would... I would never!

What?

Hey, why are you not getting fresh with me?

Wait, what?

Why?

Unbelievable!

You are a dude!

Yeah, but you know, dudes have needs.

I'm telling you, as far as for me, love isn't in the cards.

I, at this point, I'm just going to accept the fact that I'm going to die alone.

Tim, the right one will come along.

We'll see.

Huh.

Hoochie, little Hoochie, trying to show everything off.

You don't care if the dog's naked?

Are you kidding me?

Can you believe I got fired today?

Fired?

Me?

Just because I forgot to wear my textile slave outfit.

This is so stupid!

Well, firstly, you're naked right now!

And, I mean, secondly, isn't it a job, you

know, pertaining to clothing and fashion, right?

Okay, I'm just going to say you're naked in front of us, you're naked in front of us.

We can see everything!

It's weird!

We're not okay with it!

Well, actually, I never get it.

Nobody is okay with it!

Nobody is okay with it!

You're weird!

Right!

You're just so naked!

I, I, I don't know what-Do I need to give you money?

Like, horror!

I am not an exhibitionist and I am not a stripper!

I am just comfortable in my own skin!

I am just so naked in front of you!

I am just so naked in front of you!

Well, you've heard them!

You're either a hoochie or a weirdo!

So, which is it?

Which is it, Miss Padilla?

Your family doesn't love you, your friends don't

like you, and you can't even hold a job, whore!

Nobody will ever understand your naked ambitions!

Minor thoughts are brutal!

You got that right, sister!

So, that's why we're reporting you to authorities,

they'll be here any minute to take you away!

So, I lost my job, and now I'm being kicked out for

literally being how I was born on natural realm?

This is crazy!

Yeah, sorry?

You have a permit for that vulva and them boobs?

Uh, free the nipple?

They're good nipples, and they're bad nipples!

Good nipples are on a man, they can be shown!

Bad nipples on a female!

That is against the law!

So, the ones that give life-saving milk for babies are the bad ones?

Do you know how disgusting and antiquated and old your logic is?

All-all of you, if you agree with this!

What about transgender people, huh?

Once presenting as female, suddenly overnight the breasts are bad?

It's the same damn nipples!

Hey, Officer J-Ban, she's making us think objectively

about society and the rules governing the human body.

Isn't that against the law, too?

Yeah!

Forcing us to think?

Yeah, it certainly is!

You're coming with me!

I'm taking you to the country of Newland so you can be with your own kind!

Oh, God!

No!

Not this again!

If you're going to be happy about this, I'm taking you to jail!

Uh, no, no, no, no, no!

Ooh, bad naked bodies, bad boobs, bad nipples!

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Afternoon.

Adios!

"Can it be healed? Can it be healed with chemicals?

Can it be healed? Can it be healed with physicals?

" "This anger is hard to love, and this anger is hard to embrace, but some...

" No, sir. I have no idea how much a polar bear weighs.

Enough to break the ice.

Hello! I am Prime Minister Pierre Moustache,

the very funny Prime Minister of Newland.

And who do we have next?

Oh, yes! You know, we're actually very happy you were arrested and deported.

Mexico just didn't know how cool you really are, Luis Padilla.

You're going to be very happy here in our body-positive environment.

It's going to take a little bit of adjusting.

You're going to have to go through a journey where

you're going to have to lose your old anxieties and your old body shame.

But I believe in you, and I know you're going to find your voice here.

So, welcome to luxury.

Welcome to relaxation.

Welcome to your nude home, Nude Land.

Enough to break the ice.

Genius, sir.

Genius.

Listen to the Nature's Living Show podcast for

all kinds of cool information about naturism.

And you can find it everywhere that you listen to podcasts.

You can find it everywhere that you listen to the nature of the world.

What was that?

Let's see.

But wait.

I heard there's a streaker running around.

Oh, I heard about this streaker.

He scared my daughter.

If I get my hands on him, I'm gonna choke him out until he turns purple.

Where? Where is he? Where is he?

Don't make me do it.

If you do it, I'm gonna show you.

I'll show it to you.

Show me!

You like fabrics? I got a lot of fabric in here.

You want to see some fabric?

Oh, kill him!

Namaste!

Don't see that every day.

Quality.

Quality.

That's what I've been thinking about.

You know, like, what is quality?

Is it like the feeling that you get when something

goes right in your life and then everything

meaningful and magical seems important and the

aspects of true and not true are all aligned?

I get it. I totally see it. It's like, it's everything around us.

And you know what, Journey? You embody quality.

Wow. Thank you so much, AB. You really get me.

Wow. These two have really positive energy.

If I was to guess their blood type, I would say it's B positive.

You guys can laugh, but I'll tell you something.

I'm going to set a record as the world's very first

all-new skateboarding champion. Not even kidding.

Hell yeah, Mondo, man. I saw what you did at the X Games four years ago.

Dude, you rule, dude.

That was just me getting warmed up. You haven't seen nothing.

Wow. You are so inspirational, but those flips,

those turns, those dives, that's really dangerous.

Well, you know, it takes a lot, a lot of practice,

and it's really important to be self-centered and

confident when I'm out there doing that.

That's why I always make sure to eat a healthy, well-balanced breakfast and chant.

Chant? What, like a Buddhist monk? What does that do?

Oh, yeah. It's good for the soul.

Cleansing. Like, for the inner world, yeah.

So, your name is Barb Wire. Well, that's pretty badass.

Yeah, well, I got it on the movie sets, you know.

I've been doing it a long time. I've done everything

from, you know, fire, ice, broken glass, fight scenes, jumping from helicopters.

Now I've got shrapnel in my ass. Look at that. Look at that.

Oh, well, I'm, I've told you about me, you know, getting here. Yeah. What about you?

What about me?

How did you embrace nudism?

Oh, the conversion story. Oh, naturists and Christians, they're all the same.

They, they want to know how you were saved. Well, all right.

I was in Pennsylvania. My friends brought me to this

world naked bike ride. And, uh, yeah, I was really

nervous at first. And I was riding through the

streets and, uh, I met all the people and they were great.

And then I saw the faces of the textiles

as we were riding through Erie. Oh, it was awesome.

Yeah. So when we're packing up, by the end of the day,

I didn't want to put my clothes back on, right?

Oh, why is it lawful for hundreds of people to ride

through the city from this time to this time?

Right? But like, if I go after on my own, I'm indecent.

Well, I had to challenge that.

I started doing stunts nude. Yeah. Yeah, I did.

Eventually the law got up with me. Wow. I, that is so exciting. I mean, my roommates,

I just had jerky roommates compared to your tale.

I mean, with such a death-defying career, is there anything you haven't done?

I haven't farted six years. On purpose? Why?

You're not saving it up, are you? That's right.

But the big one. They're gonna write books about

it. Yeah. Atom bomb. The A is for my ass. Yeah.

Sorry. Are you looking for work yet? Yeah.

I've gone to some interviews and they've all gone really,

really, really bad. Hi. Hi. I saw an ad for light housekeeping.

I could do that. I really need this job.

Yeah. It's totally, definitely light housekeeping.

My toilet just over floated,

over flooded, and it's just a lot of crap all over the floor.

But don't you worry. I'm going to provide

some boots for you. It's just going to be just up to

here and you'll be fine. I can show you real quick.

Hi. I saw an ad for pet sitting. Is it a cat?

Is it a dog? Well, Fluffy isn't a cat and she isn't a dog,

but she does need to be walked three times a day and

she needs to be fed five times a day. And you should

also use this as you're getting to know her because

Fluffy can be a little skittish around strangers and

and a little scared. So this is her discipline stick.

Oh, is it a bunny? Fluffy isn't a bunny,

but that is one of her favorite meals.

She is a 50 foot long, 200 pound King Cobra. The biggest one in the world.

She's a world record holder. Oh, here she comes now. Fluffy, come to get me.

She doesn't bite much. Fluffy, we'll find you a sitter.

I promise, baby. Oh, come to daddy. Come to daddy.

Oh, you should talk to journey over there.

She knows everyone. She can help you. Yeah. Yeah.

I guess I, yeah, you should go. Yeah. I better go or you'll fart on me.

You're a funny girl. Yeah. That was funny once.

That was before I held the hand of a dying parakeet and nom.

Uh, wouldn't that be a claw and you're too young,

young for Vietnam? I didn't say nom. I said mom.

I said Viet. I, I survived Viet. Mom. God, my teenage years.

My mom was shocked. She was mean to pigeons.

I better go. Yeah. You should go.

I don't get up in no amount of sleep because that's what I'm going to do.

I don't get up in no amount of sleep because I'm going to die.

I don't get up in no amount of sleep.

I am.

I'm SK Marshall.

How can I help you?

I need a job really, really bad.

Journey said you need a good salesperson.

Oh, you have no idea how bad the jobs are out there.

I saw an ad for that you're looking for a kitchen staff.

I do have a little bit of experience.

All right, perfect.

We're looking for a fry cook.

The last person got, you know, seven degree

burns all over their torso, like the full torso.

But you'll be fine.

You got experience.

We got four deep fry cookers.

So 450 degrees, you know, basic, basic chicken tenders.

We're going to have to get 30 out ASAP.

So why don't we go ahead and get it started?

You get on the tenders.

You make the honey mustard.

I love the honey mustard.

Okay.

Okay.

Listen, there's a really difficult screening question we have to ask.

Okay, George, George, I'll do it.

You'll see.

Oh, you're the one who wants a job.

Is that right?

Yes, very much so.

You have no idea how stupid some of the jobs in this country are.

I like people and I like art.

Okay.

Here's the really important question that

you're going to need to answer to get this job.

Which one is smarter, cats or dogs?

That's a trick question.

Most people think cats are smarter, but that's not true.

Dogs are smarter.

In fact, there's a study that proves that

most cat owners are smarter than dog owners.

It's true.

Look it up on the Google machine.

I think it has to do with the dog owner's neediness

to walk and constantly be around a dog for their own emotional support.

In fact, you can leave cat food out and leave for days.

The cat will be fine.

I hope that was the right answer.

I really need this job.

You plucky little devil.

You are hired.

Oh, come with me to help inside.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, hold on a minute.

Hold on a minute.

Okay, so you now have a job.

That's good.

But what about a date?

Uh, well, I'd love to meet somebody.

Right.

Let's check off that box.

That life box.

You're single, right, darling?

Yes.

Okay.

I might just have someone for you.

I love playing matchmaker.

Oh, well, I hope he's kind.

Oh, seriously, the ocean.

It's alive.

It's thinking.

It knows you're there.

It feels your heart.

It knows everything.

It remembers things.

It's like it can get angry.

It can get horny.

It can laugh.

It's got a range of emotions, like more than we do.

That's why I love surfing.

Wow.

Surfing is just the best because you never know.

You never know how the ocean feels about you,

what's coming next, the next wave coming your way.

It could be nothing or it could be the biggest, fastest wave ever.

Wow, Mondo man.

Wow.

Dude, what's, what's your story?

Like, were you deported here like the rest of us?

See, that's the thing.

I was born here.

Yeah, you don't hear that too often, do you?

No.

Uh, everyone's different.

I was actually a citizen from day one.

Pretty awesome, huh?

Except technically, I mean, one might say that I

never was given the chance to decide for myself

that I wanted to be naked all the time.

But, well, yeah, it's a good thing that I love it so much, right?

Yeah.

So, how did the job search go?

SK is amazing.

Yes, thank you so much.

I got the job, it was such a rough interview process.

Was it?

No.

I'm learning so much about models and paint than I ever thought I would.

Like, this paint gouache?

It's super expensive.

I'm even thinking about doing some body painting myself.

It seems so fun and freeing.

Wow, so you're settling in?

I'm so glad.

You know, because it's like strange and how in other countries,

it's like when you go to the beach and you have

to wear these little strips of fabric over your

naughty bitch to make sure that no one's looking,

even though it obviously calls attention to them.

I guess that's the thought behind it, right?

Okay, right.

But then they're brightly colored neon and leopard.

So, doesn't that defeat the purpose?

I mean, it's obviously like a look at me.

I'm a naughty part.

You're right.

It just completely doesn't make any sense.

Well, like at my old job, I had to design butt slogans.

Like, on customers' asses.

Like, juicy or whatever.

It is so asinine.

Yes, a million percent.

So, while the world is patting itself on

its back, thinking it's desexualizing bodies

by not showing them, I'm designing the latest butt slogans.

Your blind date is coming up soon, right?

SK set you up.

And you nervous?

No.

Uh, well, I mean, a little nervous, but I hear great things about this girl, man.

I'm just hoping that she can be authentic.

At this point in my life, I want a girl who can keep it real.

That's girls for you to keep it real.

Keep it real complicated.

You know what?

And that's exactly where it's at, because I know I've read research.

Kids that grow up in naturist communities, you

know, they don't have a bunch of premarital sex,

and they certainly don't, you know, get these like

crazy curiosities about sex and naughty parts,

because they understand it already.

And things are just different there.

Mm-hmm.

My grandparents embraced nudism, and it was

going great for a while until they passed away,

and I was lost for a while, but then I found my way here, and you guys.

Oh, I'm glad that you did.

My, uh, my last girlfriend broke up with me because I'm a nudist.

Bro, you're not going to have that problem here.

Woman here will break it off with you if you,

you know, put on a necklace, put on a glove.

It's over.

No, seriously.

That's why I stick to adrenaline rushes.

I mean, fast cars, ripping jumps off dirt bikes, skateboarding.

Oh, oh man, this one time I was attempting a triple Lindy off this half pipe,

and I get up to the top, I'm about to jump, and I notice this graffiti in front of me,

and there's this painting of a tomato, and something

about the color of it, it reminded me of this burrito.

This one burrito that I would say is probably

the best burrito I've ever had in my entire life,

which reminded me that idea that I had the burrito brothel.

I think I really want to, I really want to do something with that burrito brothel.

Isn't that a badass name?

I can see that.

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

So Luz, next topic, I hear you're going on a blind date.

Who's it with?

I don't know.

That's why it's a blind date.

Right.

True.

It's been a while since I've tried to connect

with anyone, so I'm praying for a blessing,

but I'm not going to worry too much about it.

I mean, it's not like I'm going to lose any sleep over it.

I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

It's a man's world.

You have no say.

There's something wrong with you, woman.

You're supposed to have clothes on.

No.

No.

Oh, no.

You fat, disgusting pig.

You're loud.

You're obnoxious.

Did I mention all your friends are now your enemy?

Because all your enemies started off as your friends.

You suck as a human being.

Nobody cares about you.

You ugly, smelly pig.

If I had to give you a 1 through 10, I'd give you a 1.5.

You're hideous.

Nobody wants to look at you like that!

No! No!

Stop it!

Sluts!

Skank! Tramp!

I'm so angry.

You know what? I'm not even embarrassed.

You should be the one embarrassed.

You little piece of nothing.

You're like a speck of dust.

That's what you are.

You are a speck of dust.

In fact, you're not even a speck of dust.

You're nothing!

You're nothing!

Stop!

Let me go!

Let me go!

No!

Let me go!

No!

No!

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, bro. Are you okay?

Hey, hey, hey, hey. You just got to take a trip somewhere.

Maybe it's a mountain. Maybe

it's like a waterfall. I don't know what it is, but you just got to free your body and

then you can free your mind. Thanks, Monty. Hey, um, you won't tell anything about that

to me. Hey, I don't tell anybody. Cheer yourself

up. Eat a burrito. Even brownie, eat whatever

cheers you want. Do not tell the burrito story again, please.

I can not bear to hear that

for the millionth time. You get it.

Thanks, Monty. Hey, hey, wait. Do you mind if I ask you something?

Yeah. Just curious. What did you used to wear back in the, back in America?

Like, what colors? I was a cutter, man.

I was all black. Prince of Darkness. Sorry, I shouldn't ask you guys.

Can I ask that? It's okay. See you later. Feel better.

Monday, man. Always there to help everyone with future problems.

Monday, man. Always there to help everyone with

future problems. Not like I have new problems.

Not like I have new problems. That's so bad.

Monday, man.

Hi. SK told me that there'd be a girl with

a pretty flower in her hair. You must be the

girl with a pretty flower in her hair. So, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Uh, enough to break the ice. Tracks.

I watched the Prime Minister messages too, you know?

I have nothing else. I have no material.

That's everything I have. Unbelievable. Oh, wait, wait, wait.

I got something. Let's play the, the liar game.

All you have to do is lie to me five times in a row.

If you tell the truth, you lose.

I lie to you? That's easy. I'm gonna win. Five times?

Five times. Okay. Okay. Ready? All right. Go.

All right. What's your name? Juliana Costa.

Have you always had purple hair like that? Always.

Since birth. Where do you live? Mexico.

How many questions was that? Um, uh, nine. You've played

this before, haven't you? No, this is-Got you.

Got you on the fifth one. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait.

Oh, okay. So, I see. So, if you don't get

them with how many questions was that said, um,

you get them with over the confidence. Clever.

Let's, uh, I got another game. Okay. That's enough games.

Mr. Blind Date. Uh, I want to get to know the real you.

Well, for starters, what is your name?

And where are we going? I am Tim Chismar,

or Timothy Chismar, and, uh, we are going to a magic hot tub.

You are as pretty as your flower,

and I'm happy spending some time with you. Thanks. Um, magic hot tub, you say?

I can't even, I can't even hear you. Like, it's so loud.

Oh my God, this is so freaking loud.

Let me just get these. Oh my God. Ah, bubble, bubble, bubble.

No, it came back on. There it is.

Oh my God. Oh, these bubble, bubble, bubble.

I need, I need one of those little donuts from a cruise ship.

I'm on a trout. Your first day with me is

your last day with me. Oh my God. That's my gift to you.

Oh my God. This is exactly what we needed. Oh, yes.

So, is it Tim Chismar, Timothy Chismar, or Timmy Chismar?

That one. The last one. Timmy. That's right. I'm a teddy bear.

No, I don't know who Timmy is. Don't ever call me Timmy.

Oh my God. Uh, I am Tim Chismar.

And my father was Timmy Chismar. So, that's all you

need to know about me. So, what about you, Luce Padilla?

I know about you working the job at the designer label

factory, coming up with the ever so creative job of butt slogans.

And then you, that was you.

And then you got fired. Worst butt slogan person ever.

Uh, and now you're working for SK.

And she says you're the best employee she's ever had. You are great

with customers and moving your art and sales and

just you genuinely care about people in Newdland.

And I'm curious, have you always been this compassionate?

Oh, God, no. I was very self-absorbed in university.

Uh, but then I got a job, um, working at an inclusive

camp with disabled kids. Oh, wow. And I went in to

work, uh, for daycare, but then I got bumped to working

with teenagers, uh, which I did not plan for.

I got asked to do bathroom duty, which included showering and

wiping butts, which I, Tim, I did not prepare for that.

Well, no shit. You didn't, you didn't do it, right?

You, you laughed. You took some other job.

No, I mean, I wanted to, but some of those kids

were going to lose out on their time there because I

was one of the only female counselors.

So it was really important. I stayed. Wow. So you did it. Yeah.

I mean, I haven't done much with my life, so, but that

was one of the most rewarding experiences in my life.

I felt like I really made a difference, you know?

Wow. It's your turn to talk now.

So you did stand-up comedy for a while. How come you stopped?

Yeah. Uh, oh, um, yeah, it was, it was the money.

Uh, it was inconsistent. And I remember this,

this one girl I dated, she loved the fact that

my name was on the marquee and I was touring with

celebrities and like, that was all really attractive.

But, you know, when things were rough, uh, and I was broke,

it wasn't as, as attractive. I remember, I

remember this one time, uh, we were going through

a fast food joint. We were going through the drive-through

and when we got up to the window to pay for it,

uh, she ordered a chicken sandwich and she looked

at me and I looked at her, she looked at me and I

looked at me and I looked at her and the realization

on her face that her boyfriend couldn't afford

her chicken sandwich will stay with me forever.

Well, it's just like a woman with unrealistic

expectations, you know, like chicken sandwiches.

What? You don't feel my pain at all.

I'm not made out of money for chicken sandwiches.

Hey, great idea bringing up X's, a smooth operator.

Anything else you want to tell me about her?

Yes. Yes, I do. It's not done yet. Oh, great.

She also was not a nudist. She didn't, she didn't get this at all.

Well, most textiles don't. My boss didn't.

Yeah.

Well, so my friends, Dave and Chrissy invited me to their wedding.

They were nudists and they were getting

married on a nude beach and it was a big deal.

I got invited. I wanted to go and she was not going and

she definitely did not want me to go.

Well, yeah, she probably thought it was one big orgy.

Right. So I missed it. I missed my best friend's

wedding for my girl. And then we broke up and I'm

still friends with Dave and Chrissy.

They've been married for like 13 years. They have a daughter.

They bought an RV park. I just love them to death.

And it's the biggest regret of my life that I missed their wedding.

And so that's, that's when I realized that I

was not going to hide who I am anymore. And I was just going to stop wearing clothes

because it's stupid and I was not going to hide who I am. I am the naked guy.

Well, I think I'm liking the naked guy.

Thank you.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Hey, Bear Witch Project.

Where's your rosary beads?

What would your family think of you?

In the buffalo with the half naked man on your first date.

Everyone was right about you.

I can hear them right now.

You don't deserve a woman like that.

You'll never make her happy.

She'll leave you for a guy like me.

I can't believe I get to interview Lavender.

She's the biggest celebrity in the nudist community.

She's an author.

She's a poet.

She's done it all.

And now I can't believe it.

I get to interview her for CFI.

That's awesome.

What I can't believe is people haven't heard of clothesfree.com.

The largest, best nudist website on the internet.

Or naturist.

It's for everyone.

You can travel the world from the comfort of your home.

You can go to Europe, Mexico, all over the place.

You can meet great people and newscasters.

It's the best place to be if you're a nudist.

We're at the world naked bike ride and clothesfree starts now.

I am Tim Chismar.

What is your name?

Raquel.

Raquel and?

Steven.

Now tell me, is this your first time at one of these events?

Mine is.

Yeah.

It's pretty fun.

Third.

Third time?

Third time.

What brought you guys out today?

What made you want to be a part of this?

Well, I just love being naked and riding my bike.

It's the two best things in the world combined in one.

It sounds like the police department is pretty

okay with the whole thing as long as we're following legal rules.

No nudity with the nudity.

Well, you know, just as long as people are not violating any laws.

You know, they're doing a constitutional thing out here today.

So.

There you go.

Skiing nude sounds pretty awesome either.

Also.

I play volleyball nude.

That's a lot of fun.

Except for when you dive.

That hurts.

This is a dynamic woman.

She's really taken the world by storm.

One year in an hour.

How long have you been a nudist?

Oh, gosh.

Pretty much all my life.

Okay.

So you're one of us who are committed to just being naked because we hate clothes.

Yes.

Absolutely.

That's kind of what I thought.

Well, she knows this because on the boat, there was this deal.

She was wearing something and we were playing golf and we bet her.

Now, this explains Linda a lot.

We bet her if she won the miniature golf contest, she had to get naked.

And she mastered the game and whipped five of us.

Whipped all of us.

I sure did.

And we all went, she could have thrown the match.

But she didn't.

And in good sport, she then remained naked the rest of the crew.

Yes, I did.

Okay.

I am Sarah Jane.

And this is Naked Yoga.

Inhale to your back bend.

Up dog or baby cobra.

Welcome to Cooking Bacon Naked with Holly.

The first thing in cooking naked, I think most

people ask is, don't you get burned especially while cooking bacon?

Not so fast folks.

This is a quick easy way to make sure you don't burn your biscuits while cooking.

Hey Holly.

Hey darling.

How you doing?

Just bringing you some more wine.

Oh, you know me.

I love cooking with wine.

Wow.

It smells delicious in here.

What are you cooking?

Oh, I'm making some lasagna.

This is Robin.

She's letting me use her kitchen today.

Hi.

Ah!

What are you doing here?

Oh my god!

That smells amazing!

Heck yeah, it does.

Are you going to come by later and try it?

That's an invitation?

Of course.

Because I'm kind of like a vampire.

You invite me in, I might never leave.

That's true.

Actually, wait.

Should I invite him in?

Definitely, for sure.

And that's why I was such a fan in the United States.

I would watch every episode.

I couldn't wait to get involved.

And so, to actually be here, guys, it's just, it's amazing.

Well, Tim, we're glad to have you join us.

Thanks, man.

Oh!

What?

Here she comes.

Oh god!

Scene 27, take 733.

Lavender!

Oh my god, it's so great to meet you in the flesh.

Please, please join me.

Have a seat.

Oh, I'm so excited.

You know, the Clothes Free fans have been just

sending all these questions on the forums.

I have so many questions to ask you.

I can't wait to get started.

Tim, Tim, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

I'm sorry.

We've got an issue.

The hamster fell off the wheel.

Again?

I've been looking for him all night.

It's been crazy.

The flux passenger, not quite getting up to speed.

Sorry, Lavender.

We'll get this sorted out quick.

Okay.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

What are you going to do with the tech?

It's technology.

But, uh... Wow.

Hey, are you okay?

You look like you're going through some things.

Wow!

You picked up on that?

I think I did, yeah.

I can't hide anything from Lavender.

Yes, I started dating this beautiful woman.

She always has a flower in her hair.

Her name is Luce Padilla.

And I am falling in love with her, I think.

And it's so early.

And I'm being honest.

And she's sharing things.

And I'm sharing things.

And I've never felt this kind of a connection before.

And I just know that I'm going to screw it up.

I always find a way.

I find something beautiful.

And then I muck it up.

Hey, I think I might have a poem for you.

Do you want to hear it?

An original poem from Lavender?

Yeah.

About love?

You think it would help me?

I think so.

Well, you probably have a lot of poems.

It'd probably be hard to find it, right?

Let's see.

Let's see.

Oh, it's right here.

It's called Passion.

Let's read that.

Passion.

Passion comes but few times in life.

The coming of age.

New love.

Renewed love.

Conceived love.

I'll wage.

There are sparks in the air filled with rage.

As if two lions were trapped in a cage.

When passion possesses one soul, it is evil.

The depths one will take to control the emotion.

To find you only will make you go away as you struggle and shiver and shake.

To make it come back only to wake.

Only to know we can't control passion.

You're not going to be able to control the emotion.

You're not going to control the emotion.

Oh, happiness, don't you love me too?

Oh, happiness, where are you?

I looked around and around.

I looked up, I looked down.

I can't understand.

Welcome, friends.

Thank you for joining me.

I really appreciate you guys all being here with me.

Thank you so much.

So, I'm going to show you a couple of demos.

How we're going to start off on the wheels.

Some foundations.

Some basic sets to how we can get to throwing.

That's what this is.

This is the pottery wheel.

Ceramic wheel.

This is some nice clay.

And we're going to get to throwing some basics.

So, I don't want any air bubbles.

So, air bubbles are when I take a piece of clay like this.

Go ahead and start the wheel.

I'm going to put a little bit of water here.

Not a whole lot.

Just enough to get suction going.

And I'm going to go ahead and slam it down.

My left elbow is locked in for strength.

I'm going to lock it in.

And I'm going to bring it up.

Now, I control the speed here.

And I want the speed going fairly fast.

This is going to be full speed.

I don't need that much power yet.

I'm not really dealing with that much clay.

I would use that much speed if I were working with larger amounts of clay.

Because you need that momentum to help you.

A lot of the times what I see is people get scared of

"Oh my God, it's going fast and I can't control it.

" Oh my God.

You saw that one moment where my hands were kind of doing this.

That's why that elbow needs to be locked in.

I'm just going to go a little faster now so that

you can see a little bit more height on this.

And then I'll cut this in the middle so that you can see what that looks like here.

So I'm pulling, I'm pulling.

I'm going to let go slowly because I feel friction.

And I have enough clay here that if I wanted

to, I could pull some more and so I'm going to.

And here's where I'm going to pop this open.

Let's hope.

A little bit more of a flare up, hopefully.

I knew Mondo Man was right. He told me to try pot.

As always, you should always try pot.

Miss Schuyler, you talked a lot about embracing.

Embracing the wonk.

Embracing the imperfection.

Yeah, the imperfection.

And I don't know, it just made me think about

life and love and you know, would that work?

I mean, do you, I guess, advice in that too?

Advice in life and work?

Well, I'll tell you, you know what?

I've learned a lot about myself through the clay.

Through the clay, I've learned to embrace

my imperfections and my flaws and my beauty.

Because I am not a perfect figure, but what is a perfect figure?

Right.

I get to decide what a perfect figure is.

You're beautiful.

I can see that you're really feeling this and I

really appreciate you coming in to embrace this.

And I can tell you, when you're connecting with a piece that

you've made and you're making it, you do just have to love it.

You do just have to embrace whatever flaws are coming at it.

Right.

Whatever's thrown at it that makes it want to disform or

make wrong or not be the best version of what you want.

You have to work with what you have or what's being given to you.

And so you have to love it first.

You have to accept yourself first.

Right.

Right.

Before you can extend that to your piece.

You know, otherwise you're just going to sit there frustrated.

You're going to sit there always unhappy.

Your piece is never going to look right if

you're just going after one image that you have.

And where did you get that image from?

Did you get it from your pure seeds that you've been watering?

It makes sense.

Yeah.

It makes sense.

Thank you very much.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Miss Geiger.

I'll see you next time.

Thank you, Lucy.

Be well.

Thank you.

As always, I feel I am but clay in the potter's hands.

How about at the end and most of friends?

Friends to the end.

This leaving has nothing to do with you.

Everything to do with me.

It needs to be.

Kentucky hills roll by and back.

When I call you, I leave a message in the sky.

The birds flying up for the summertime.

As we make our way across the plummy line.

The birds flying up for the summertime.

As we make our way across the plummy line.

Moving in.

Moving out.

There's no need to power.

I just have to go away.

And it needs to be in today.

Back this way.

Wow.

She's great.

It's just I become numb.

I come here.

I just sit and stay.

But no one's there.

Kentucky wherever holds on us.

When I call you.

I ask do you have a wonder.

No, but really.

It was just like that.

Anyway.

Oh.

Oh.

Hello.

I think we have some new noodles over here.

Hello.

Hi.

I love the ginger hair.

How you doing?

Good.

Good.

Such great fun.

That's great.

Where you from?

Oh.

Well, we're from San Francisco.

We decided to do a little nude sunbathing at Baker Beach.

And got arrested.

By Officer Da Man.

Have you guys ever heard of him?

Yeah.

He's got me.

He's got me.

Oh gosh.

Do I ever see that Da Man again?

But remember.

Peace and love and sensuality.

It is very nice here though.

It is nice.

It is nice.

Sometimes you chase the wrong squirrel on the right tree.

Exactly.

Exactly.

It's quite beautiful here though.

So, there is an upside to being arrested I guess.

Thank you for joining us.

Hey you.

So, you haven't said anything.

You've been quiet this whole time.

Yeah.

What's your story?

You all want to know my story?

Back in the day.

About three years ago, I...

Hey, what's up crowd?

It's your boy, Donnie Brooks, AKA Young Money.

And I'm about to show you the newest track.

Let's get it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let me hear you make some noise, America.

Yeah.

Yeah, over there.

Let's get it.

I'm feeling it.

It's one, two, three.

I know this is the game.

Hey, know this is the streets.

Y'all can't feel me.

Y'all can't feel me.

This is the real me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, the canine.

Oh, the canine units.

I can't do this.

You know, I gotta say.

It looks...

It looks like Luce is gonna win.

It's a gift.

Who wants to take me to Las Vegas?

Baby, I would take you anywhere.

Oh, I bet you will.

But that being said, I happen to have Bob Saget's favorite hand.

You guessed it.

Fool house.

You got it, dude.

I don't count Lucky Luce out for nothing.

I know she got some trick up her sleeve if she had any.

Four of a kind.

You lost Pooh Bear.

What is that?

How is that even possible?

For the first time I get to say, put your pants on.

This game of reverse strip poker is rigged.

Rigged.

Rigged.

Rigged.

Look at this.

I'm putting on... I don't know.

Unbelievable.

Alright, Queen.

It's time to go.

Hold up.

I'm here.

I'm here.

Hold up.

You guys cannot lean like this, you purr.

What did I ever say?

I told you.

I told you.

It's unbelievable.

That's not me.

There better be a pile of clothes right by that door.

Weirdos.

Unbelievable.

Oh, hey.

That's a... Don't look at me.

I'm fully clothed.

This is so awkward.

I don't... You're objectifying me.

I feel so objectified.

Oh.

You, uh... You... You won.

You actually don't... You don't have to.

So... Oh, wow.

Wow.

You look... It's... The bedroom's that way.

Oh, it's... Oh, it's... Um... Oh, so... I don't know what we're... Doing...

What's the... What?

Oh!

Oh!

It's just... Hello!

How are... Oh!

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

I'm happy with you.

Thank you.

I know who I am.

I am not a slut.

We know who we are.

I am not a whore.

I am done with this.

I'm done with you.

This is who I am!

And we are better than this!

You are not worth it!

I love you so much.

I'm terrified to be so vulnerable.

I don't want to lose you.

I'm not going to anyone.

I want to be right here with you.

I want to make you happy.

You're safe with me.

I know.

I'm home.

I like that.

When I look at you, I'm just surprised that

nobody else can see what a good person you are.

You're the best person in the whole world.

I know.

I am.

I am.

A girl with a pretty flower.

And you're my Tim.

The naked guy.

I am.

Look at you two. Practically glowing. Not everyone gets a happy ending.

I hear that streaker is still out there streaking.

The streaker! I can't look! I can't take it anymore! This is who I am! Oh no! Oh god!

What do we have here? The streaker. Like wearing clothes? Yes, sir.

Well, I'm gonna take you. We're the people of your kind. Let's go.

Do you think other people are as happy as we are?

We're pretty happy. Do you think we'll always be this happy?

You look like you have something to say to me.

I do. I want to say this from the first time I ever met you.

Went on a date with you. Fell in love with you.

All that good stuff. Will you be my naked bride? Forever and ever.

Of course. Or I should say I do. Yes, yes, yes. As long as my evil twin sister doesn't show up and

ruin the wedding. Or your ex-girlfriend still has feelings for you and decides to be a naturist.

It's going to happen. It's going to happen.

It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. It's that kind of movie.

It really is. Tim, are we here? Hi!

I've decided that I love the whole philosophy of being naked.

I'm naked now too! It's awesome! Woohoo!

Now we can be together forever and ever and ever and ever!

Can our heroes overcome this shocking conclusion?

Tune in next time for more of the Noodles of Newdland.

Come on! Come on!

What the? Oh my god!

No, no, no! I'm above the wall!

We'll see you next time!

So I was shocked when I got the news that my childhood best friend and,

most importantly, my accountant from the United States, got engaged!

I was gonna tell him the good news and he scooped me!

Well, do you know this girl he's marrying?

Sky? No, I heard really good things. I think she's a scientist or something.

A scientist? Oh man! Oh, Brady! I worry we'll have anything in common!

Hey! It's Eric!

Eric! Hey! I thank you for indulging us, nudists.

I know this isn't really your thing, you know,

you don't have to put up with this, usually.

Uh, gee, Tim, that's the thing! I, uh...

Well, you know, because for us it's the lifestyle and there's lots of families here in Newdland that this

is what they do, but this isn't something you're ever gonna have to put up with in your life, you know?

Uh, Tim, certain things have happened in my life since last I saw you, and I just...

Tim told me all about how much he respects how in love you are with Sky. You two sound like the

perfect match. I can't imagine there ever been any shocking revelations you need to overcome.

I can't imagine.

I used to think that too, but, uh, then recently

my life took me for a turn, and I just think... Hey!

All right!

Breathe a nipple! Are you Sky? Is Sky a nudist?

I don't know!

Well, I mean, now you know. But not just me, my whole awesome family. I mean, I was worried about

Eric at first, but he took it like a champ, and it's become just one more thing that I love about him.

Oh, and us, we can overcome anything.

You know, "Love Conquers All" isn't just a slogan. When I found out about Sky's family, I realized I loved her enough that I

wanted to be a part of it no matter what. And now I have a great, big, loving nudist family in these times, and that's just great.

That is so shocking and unexpected. I imagine that this whole scenario,

it's probably worthy of a show of its own. That's what I'm thinking.

But, uh, so, what's next for you crazy kids?

Uh, the wedding, of course. Oh! Looks like it could be a double wedding!

Hey!

Well, you both will pass the fiber screening to enter

Newland now, so I hope we can expect you at our wedding.

Oh, yeah, and I guarantee our wedding will not be in Iceland.

We'll update everyone with Next Steps soon. Oh, I have so many ideas for this.

I gotta say, Eric, you are amazing. You're such a cool guy. This just makes you even

cooler. And you gotta promise me that we're all gonna get together again real soon.

At this point, I can definitively state, you'll never know where you see us next!

What's next!

Maybe chunky, dunk, or hide in the vines.

The noodles of Newland.

The noodles of Newland.

Animals don't wear pants.

Thank you.