Original subtitles

Robert Cohn was once a middleweight boxing champion of Princeton.

Do not think that I'm very much impressed by that as a boxing title,

but it meant a lot to Cohn.

There was a certain inner comfort in knowing he could knock down anyone who was

snooty to him. Although being very shy and a thoroughly nice boy,

never fought except in the gym.

Robert Cohn was a member, through his father, of one of the richest families in

New York and through his mother, one of the oldest, he was a nice boy,

a friendly boy, and very shy. When he came out of Princeton,

he was married to the first girl who was nice to him. He was married five years,

had three children, lost most of the $50,000

his father left him - the balance of the state

having gone to his mother. When he had made up his mind to leave his wife,

she left him. Her departure was a very healthful shock.

In California, he fell among literary people

and had become sole editor of a magazine.

It was his money and he discovered he liked the authority of editing.

He had been taken in hand by a lady who hoped to rise with a magazine.

When she saw that the magazine was not going to rise,

she became a little disgusted with Cohn and decided she might as well get what

she was there to get while there was still something available.

So she urged they travel so Cohn could write. During these years,

the first spent in travel, the last two here, Robert Cohn had two friends,

Braddocks and myself. Braddocks was his literary friend. I was his tennis friend.

The lady who had him, her name was Francis,

found towards the end of the second year that her looks were going and her

attitude towards Robert changed from one of careless possession and exploitation

to absolute determination that he should marry her. During this time,

Robert's mother had settled an allowance on him. During two and a half years

I do not believe Robert had looked at another woman.

He wrote a novel and it was not really such a bad novel as critics later called it

although it was a very poor novel,

I first became aware of his lady's attitude towards him one night after the

three of us had dined together.

What don’t we fly to Strasbourg?

We can walk up to Saint Odile or somewhere or other in Alsace.

I know an American girl there who can show us the town.

She's been there two years and knows everything there is to know about the town.

She's a swell girl.

Hell,

why go to Strasbourg? We can go up to Bruges or to the Ardennes.

Anyways, I must be going.

Hold on, Jake, I'll walk with you to the corner.

I have to get the paper.

For God’s sake, Jake, why'd you have to speak about that girl from Strasbourg for?

Didn't you see Francis?

No. Why should I? If I know an American girl from Strasbourg,

what the hell is it to Francis? - Doesn't make a difference.

Any girl. I couldn't go. That would be all.

Don't be silly.

You don't know Francis. Any girl at all. Didn’t you see the way she looked?

Oh, well, let's go to Senlis.

Jake

- Are you sore? - I’m not sore. Senlis is a great place.

We can stay at the Grand Cerf, go hiking in the woods and come home.

Good. That'll be fine.

Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the courts.

Goodnight, Jake.

You forgot to get your paper.

That's so.

Jake, are you okay?

- You're not sore. - No. What should I be?

See you at the courts.

That winter, Robert went over to America with his novel

and it was accepted by a fairly good publisher.

I think that's where Francis lost him because

several women were nice to him in New York

and when he came back he was quite changed. He was not in love yet,

but he realised that there was an

attractive quantity he had to women and that

the fact of a woman caring for him, of wanting to live with him, was not simply a

divine miracle. This changed him so that he was not pleasant to have around.

He had held cards and won several hundred dollars,

which made him rather vain in his bridge game. He talked several times that

A man can make a living from bridge he was ever forced to.

Then there was another thing. He'd been reading W. H. Hudson.

That sounds like an innocent occupation,

but Cohn had read and reread The Purple Land.

The Purple Land is a very sinister book if read too late in life.

It was all that was needed to set him off.

I did not realise the extent to which it had set him off until one day he came

into my office.

Robert, did you come to cheer me up?

Would you want to go to South America, Jake?

- No.

- Why not? - I don't know.

Haven't really thought about it. It's too expensive.

You can see all the South Americans you want here anyway.

They're not the real South Americans.

They look pretty real to me.

- Do you know any dirt? - No.

None of your exalted connections getting divorces?

No. Listen, Jake, if I can handle the expenses for the both of us,

- Would you come to South America with me? - Why me?

Well, you speak Spanish and we'll have more fun the two of us.

No.

I like this town and I go to Spain in the summertime,

But I've been waiting my whole life for a trip like this

and I'll be too old before I can do anything.

Don't be a fool. You've got plenty of money and you can go anywhere you want.

Yeah, I know.

But I just don’t know when to get started.

Cheer up. All the countries look like the YouTube videos anyway.

I can't stand to think that my life's gone so fast and haven't really lived it.

No one lives their life all the way up except maybe for Bullfighters.

I'm not interested in bullfighters. Jake.

That's an abnormal life and I want to get to that country in South America.

We could have a great trip.

Why don't you go to British East Africa to shoot?

No, I wouldn't like that.

- I’d go there with you. - No, it doesn't interest me.

Well, that's because you've never read a book about it.

You know, the love affairs with the beautiful women there.

I want to go to South America.

Come on downstairs for a drink.

- Aren't you working? - No.

That was the best way of getting rid of friends. Once you had a drink,

all you had to say was,

Well, I’ve got to go back and send off some emails and it was done.

It is very important to discover graceful exits like that in the newspaper business

where it is such an important part of the ethics

that you should never seem to be working.

This is nice here.

There’s plenty of liquor.

Listen, Jake

Do you ever get the feeling that your whole life’s gone by

and you haven’t really taken advantage of it?

Do you realise that you've lived nearly half

your life that you’ve had to live already?

No. I haven't really thought about it.

Do you realise that in 35 years or more we will all be dead?

- What the hell, man?

- What the hell? - I’m being serious.

- No, I haven't really thought about it. - Well, you ought to.

I've had so much to worry about one point or another, I'm through worrying.

Well, I want to get to South America.

Listen, mate

You can't get away from yourself jumping from one place to the next.

There's nothing to that. I've tried all that. It just doesn't work.

But you haven't been to South America.

South America, hell. If you went to South America the way you're feeling now,

it would be exactly the same.

But I can't stand it here. I can't stand the quarter.

Well, get away from the quarter.

Get out and see what happens to you.

Nothing happens to me.

I went for a walk the other night, all alone,

and nothing happened except this bicycle cop

stopped me and he asked for my licence.

Well, wasn't the town nice wandering around at night?

No, I don’t care for the town.

Look, I've got to get back and send some emails off.

Do you really have to go?

Yeah, I've got to get them done.

Do you mind if I come up and hang around the office?

No. Come on up.

Okay. I’ll just chill here for maybe a couple of hours

Can't do it.

Can't do it.

Can't do it. Nothing will make me do it.

Robert.

Was I talking out loud just then?

Something but it wasn't clear.

God.

That was a rotten dream.

Did the keyboard put you to sleep?

I guess so. I didn't sleep at all last night.

What was the matter?

Talking.

Come on.

What would you like to drink?

Pernod.

That's not good for little girls.

Little girl yourself. Get me the pernod.

I'll have a pernod too.

What’s the matter? You going to the party?

Sure. Aren't you?

I don’t know. You never know with this town.

You don't like it here?

No.

Then why don't you go somewhere else?

Isn't anywhere else.

You’re happy, all right.

Happy? Please.

Well, aren't you going to buy me dinner?

What are you called?

Georgette. How are you called?

Jacob.

You Flemand?

Australian.

You're not Flamand?

Good. I detest the Flamand.

Who are your friends?

Writers and artists.

Lots of those across the river.

Too many.

Still, they make the money.

Oh yeah.

Oh darling. I need a drink.

- What about you? - Leave it to me.

I do declare there is an actual harlot. I'm going to dance with her, Lett, watch me.

- Don't you be rash, - Oh, don't you worry, dear.

Have you been here long? Do you love it? You must love this city. Do you not?

Who is she? And do I have to talk to her?

I do not like it. It is expensive and dirty.

Really?

I find it extraordinarily clean. It's one of the cleanest cities.

I find it dirty.

Strange.

Perhaps you've not been here long.

I have been here long enough.

But the people, you must love the people. Do you not?

You have nice friends.

Jake, I'm must introduce you to Robert.

He's such a young aspiring little writer. Ah, you guys have to meet.

Have a seat.

- Grab yourself a drink. - Thank you. I just had one though.

Well, have another.

Thanks. I will then.

So you are from Sydney City? They tell me.

Yes.

Do you find it amusing here?

- Yes. - Really?

Yes. For God's sake. Yes. Don't you?

How charmingly angry you get. I wish I had that faculty.

Please, don't be angry with Robert, you know he’s still a child.

I wasn't angry. I just thought I was going to throw up.

Your fiancé seems to be having a good time.

Isn't she?

Rather.

Come on, Jack. Let's have a drink.

What's the matter with you? You seem all worked up over something.

Nothing. It’s just this whole show makes me sick, is all.

Hello, you chaps.

Hello Brett.

Why aren't you tight?

Never going to get tight anymore. I say, can a chap get a brandy and soda.

Some fine company you’re with, Brett.

Aren’t they lovely?

What about you? Where did you get it?

The Napolitain.

Do you have a lovely evening?

Oh, priceless.

It's not fair, Jake. Look at poor Francis there, and Jo.

It’s in restraint of trade.

You’re wonderfully sober.

Aren’t I just. And when one's with the crowd I’m with

you can drink in such safety too.

Will you have this dance with me, Lady Brett?

Oh, darling, I already promised the first dance to Jacob.

You do have the hell of a biblical name, Jake.

How about next time?

Oh, we're going. We've got date in Montmartre.

You've got a new one there. - Oh, don't talk to me about it. Poor chap.

Didn’t know it to just now.

I suppose you like to add them up.

- Don’t talk like a fool. - You do.

- So what if I do? - Nothing.

Who invited you?

What on earth possessed you to bring her?

I don't know. I just brought her.

You’re getting damned romantic.

No. Bored.

Now?

No, not now.

Let’s get out of here. She’s well taken care of.

Do you want to?

Would I ask you if I didn’t want to?

Goodnight, Cohn.

No taxis.

I’ll order one.

Well, we’re out away from them.

Where would you like to go?

Just tell him to drive around.

Parc Montsouris.

Darling, I've been so miserable.

No, please don't.

What's the matter?

I just can't stand it.

- Brett. - You mustn't.

You must know I can't stand it. Just please understand, darling.

Don't you love me?

Love you?

I simply turn all to jelly when you touch me.

Well, isn't there anything we could do about it?

Well, I guess there's not a damn thing we could do.

I don't want to go through that hell again.

Well, we better stay away from each other.

I want to see you, darling. It's not about that, you know.

Well, it always gets to be.

That’s my fault. Don’t we always end up paying for the things we do.

I mean, when I think about the hell I've put

chaps through and I'm paying for it all now.

Don't talk like a fool.

It’s funny. It's really funny

And it's a lot of fun too. Being in love.

You think so?

It's not funny like that. It's more of a feeling.

I think it's hell on earth.

Well, at least we get to see each other. Oh.

I don't think that's a good thing.

You don't want to.

I have to.

Where do you want to go?

Let's go to the Select.

Cafe Select, Boulevard Montparnasse.

Darling, would you mind very much if I asked you to do something.

Don’t be silly.

Would you kiss me just once more before we get there?

I hope everyone's here.

We’ll soon find out.

I say do I look too much of a mess?

- I'm going to get a drink. - Brett, Brett

I've got something fine to tell you.

Oh, hello Zizi.

I want you to meet a friend.

Count Mippipopoulous, meet my friend, Lady Ashley.

How do you do?

Well. Does your Ladyship have a good time here?

Rather.

This is a fine town, all right.

But I guess you have pretty big doings yourself over in London.

Oh yes. Enormous.

Barnes.

Have a drink.

That girl of yours got in a frightening row.

What about?

Something the patronne’s daughter said.

It was a corking row.

She was rather splendid, you know.

Showed her yellow card and demanded the patronne’s daughter's too.

I say, it was a row.

What finally happened?

Somebody took her home.

Not a bad looking girl.

Wonderful command of the idiom.

Do stay and have a drink.

No. I must shove off. Seen Cohn?

He went home with Francis.

Poor chap. Looks awfully down.

I dare say, he is.

Well, I must go. Goodnight.

You know what I had to say to him to get that ring.

But I got it. I got it.

Will you take a glass of wine with us, sir?

No, thanks awfully. I must go.

Where are you going?

I’ve got an awful headache.

We'll see you tomorrow then?

Come into the office?

Hardly.

Well, where will I meet you?

Anywhere around five o'clock.

Make it the other side of town.

Well good. I will be at the Crillon at five.

- Spoken to Mike? - Letter today.

Goodnight, sir.

Michael’s my fiancé. We're getting married, you see?

Poor girl has got a headache.

Oh, I know, it’s typical Jake.

I went out onto the sidewalk.

Passed the tables of the Rotonde. Still crowded.

Looked across the street at the Dome.

It’s table's running out to the edge of the pavement.

Someone waved me from a table.

I did not see who it was and went on.

I wanted to get home.

Oh, Brett.

It's a silly thing to do, making an awful row.

I say you weren’t asleep, were you?

What do you think I was doing?

I don't know. I don't know what time it is. I'm sorry, I dunno what hour it was.

Can I chap sit down? Well darling don't big cross. I just left the Count.

He just brought me here. Yeah, just a little.

- Don't try and get me drunk. - What's he like?

The Count?

He's one of us.

- Is he really a Count? - Mm.

Yeah, because here's how, he-

Because he…

… I rather think so because he’s…

Well, he damn well deserves to be anyway

because he knows hell's own amount about people.

I don't know where he gets it all. He owns a chain of sweet shops.

At least I think that's what he called it.

He kind of linked them all together or something.

He was telling me all about it. It was damn interesting. No,

he is quite one of us.

There's no doubt about it because one can always tell.

Oh, I'm bucking on about all this. Aren't I? I’m sorry darling.

Don't be cross with me. He's putting up for Zizi, you know.

Is Zizi really a duke too?

Yes, I should think so.

Well, he's Greek, you know. Rotten painter.

- But I rather liked the Count. - Where did you go with him?

We went everywhere.

He just brought me here now and he offered me $10,000 to

go to Biarritz with him. How much was that in pounds?

Around 5,000.

That's a lot of money, but I told him I couldn't go.

I know too many people in Biarritz. He was so nice about it.

I say, you are awfully slow on the uptake. That's much better, Jake.

It was very funny and then he wanted me to go to Cannes with him,

but I told him I can't go to Cannes. I know too many people in Cannes.

Then Monte Carlo. I can't go to Monte Carlo.

I know too many people in Monte Carlo so I know too many people everywhere and

it's true too. So I told him to bring me here.

Oh, don't look like that. I told him I was in love with you. True too.

Don't look like that. He was so nice about it too.

He wants to take us out to dinner tomorrow night. Want to come?

Why not?

I better go. I got to go.

Do you have to go?

Yes. Because I just wanted to see you and it was a damn silly idea. So

why don't you get dressed and come down with us?

He's got his car just up the street.

Can’t. I’ve got work in the morning and I'm far too far behind to have any fun now.

Don’t be an ass.

Can't do it.

Alright. Well, send him a tender message?

Anything. Absolutely.

Goodnight Darling.

Don't be sentimental.

Oh, you make me ill.

Well, I’d better go.

Don’t go.

I better go. Goodnight.

This was Brett that I had felt crying about.

Then I thought of her walking up the street and stepping into the car as I’d seen her

and, of course, in a little while I felt like hell again.

It's awfully easy to be hard boiled about everything in the daytime,

but at night it's another thing.

Hello Jake. Going out for lunch?

Yes.

Let me see if there's somewhere new.

Where will we eat?

Oh, anywhere.

Where do you want to eat?

What about Wetzel’s? I hear they’ve got good hors d’ceuvres.

Have any fun last night?

No, I don't think so.

How's your writing going?

Rotten. I can't seem to get the second book going.

It happens to everyone.

Oh, I see that. It's got me worried though.

Are you still thinking about going to South America?

I mean that.

Well, why don’t you start off?

Francis.

- Well, take her with you. - She doesn't like that.

It's not the kind of thing she likes to do. She likes to have people around.

Just tell her to go to hell.

I can't do that. I have an obligation to her.

Jake, what do you know about Lady Brett Ashley?

Well, her name's Lady Ashley. Brett's her real name.

She's getting divorced and marrying Mike Campbell. He's over in Scotland now.

Why?

She's a marvellous, attractive woman.

Isn't she?

There's a certain quality about her. A certain essence.

She seems absolutely fine and straight.

She's a lovely girl.

Can't seem to explain her quality.

I suppose it's breeding.

Sounds like you like her pretty well.

Oh I do, but I shouldn't have to worry if I were in love with her.

Well, she's a drunk and she's in love with Mike Campbell.

She's going to marry him and he's going to be as rich as hell one day.

- I don't believe she'll marry him. - Why not?

I just don’t.

I don't believe it. How long have you known her for?

She was a VAD in the hospital I was in during the war.

- She must have been a young child then. - She’s 34 now.

When did she marry Ashley?

During the war. Her first love just got knocked off with dysentery.

You talk bit of bitter.

Sorry. Just trying to give you the facts.

I just don't believe that she would marry someone that she's not in love with.

Well, she's done it twice now.

I don't believe it.

Well, don't ask me fool questions if you don't like the answers.

I didn't ask you that.

You asked me what I knew about Brett Ashley.

- I didn't ask you to insult her. - Oh, go to hell.

Sit down.

You’ve got to take that back.

Cut the prep school stuff.

Take it back.

Okay, fine. I don't know anything about Brett Ashley.

No, I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about going to hell.

Oh fine. Don't go to hell. Stick around. We just started lunch.

You say such darn insulting things, Jake.

I'm sorry. I've got a nasty tongue.

You know I don't mean it when I say nasty things.

I know. You're really about the best friend I have, Jake.

Don't worry about that stuff. That's all right. It's.

That's all right. It's fine.

I was really just sore for a minute.

Good. Well, let's get something else to eat.

After we finished lunch, we walked up to Cafe de la Paix and had coffee.

I could feel Cohn wanted to bring up Brett again,

but I held him off it. Somehow I feel I have not shown Robert Cohn clearly.

The reason is until he fell in love with Brett,

I never heard him make one remark that would,

in any way, detach him from other people.

He was so nice to watch on the tennis court,

he had a good body, and he kept it in shape.

He handled his cards well at bridge and he had a funny sort of undergraduate

quality about him. He loved to win at tennis. On the other hand,

he was not angry at being beaten. When he fell in love with Brett,

his tennis game went all to pieces.

People beat him who had never had a chance with him,

but he was very nice about it.

Sit down. I've been looking for you.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Just looking for you.

Been out to the races?

Not since Sunday.

What's the news from the states?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

What's the matter?

I don't know. I'm through with them. I'm absolutely through with them.

Can I tell you something, Jake?

Yes.

I haven't had anything to eat for five days.

What's the matter?

No money. Money hasn't come. I tell you something strange, Jake.

When I get like this, I just want to be alone. I want to stay in my own room.

I'm like a cat.

Would a hundred help?

Yes.

Let's get something to eat.

No rush. Have a drink.

It's better to eat.

No, when I get like this, I don't care if I eat or not.

Have a porto.

Alright.

Here comes Cohn.

That moron.

Hello, you bums.

Hello Robert. I was just telling Jake here that you’re a moron.

What do you mean?

I mean, tell us right off. Don't think, what would you rather do

if you could do anything you want? Don't think. Just bring it right out.

I don't know. What's all this about anyway?

I mean, what would you rather do?

What's the first thing that comes into your head? No matter how silly, it's.

I don't know. I think I'll play football again

with knowing how to handle myself now.

I misjudged you. You're not a moron. You're only a case of arrested development.

You're awfully funny, Harvey. Someday someone push your face in.

You think so?

Although they won't because it wouldn't make any difference to me because

I’m not a fighter.

It would make a difference to you if anybody did it.

No, it wouldn't.

And that's where you make your big mistake because you’re not intelligent.

Cut that out about me.

Sure. Doesn't make any difference to me anyway.

Because you don't mean anything to me.

Come on, Harvey. Have another porto.

No, I'm going to go out on the street and find something to eat.

I'll see you later, Jake.

I do not know how people could say such terrible things to Robert Cohn.

There are people to whom you could not say insulting things.

They give you a feeling that the world would be destroyed,

would actually be destroyed before your eyes if you said certain things.

And this was friendly joking to what went on later.

Come on up to the Lilas.

I have a date.

What time?

Francis is coming at 7:15.

Oh.

- There she is. - Oh, hello.

Oh, it's so good to see you. Been wanting to talk to you.

Hello, Francis.

Oh, hello.

You’re here.

Had the darndest of times with this one.

Didn’t come home for lunch.

I wasn't supposed to.

Oh, I know. Maybe should have let the chef know. But anyway,

I had a date myself.

I was going out with Paula and she wasn't even at the office.

I sit and waited at the Ritz and then she just never showed.

And then, of course, I didn't have enough money to dine at the Ritz.

What did you do?

Oh, I went out, of course. I always keep my appointments.

It's just nowadays people can't seem to keep theirs.

Anyway, how are you, Jake?

Fine.

That was one fine girl you had at the dance

and then you went back with that Brett one?

Don't you like her?

Oh, I think she's perfectly charming. Don't you? Look,

I was wondering if I could speak with you. You don't mind, do you?

You’ll stay here, won't you, Robert?

Let’s go.

What's the matter, Francis?

Oh, nothing. Except he wants to leave me.

How do you mean?

Oh, well,

he told everyone that we wanted to get married and I told my mother and

everybody and now he just doesn't want to do it.

What's the matter?

Well, he says he hasn't lived enough.

I knew what would happen when he went to New York. I just knew it. No,

I wouldn't marry him anyway. Of course,

I'm not going to marry him if he doesn't want to get married.

Just does seem a little late in the piece,

given what It's been three years and I only just got the divorce and we were

going to celebrate and now we're just having scenes, just dreadful,

childish scenes. And he cries.

He just begs me to be reasonable and says he just can't do it.

It's rotten luck.

I should say it's rotten luck. I mean I've wasted what,

two and a half years on him now.

Two years ago I could have had anybody down at Cannes,

all the old ones looking for someone chic.

Oh, I could have had anybody.

Now, I just don't think anyone would have me.

Sure. You can marry anybody.

No, I don't believe it. And I am fond of him.

I always thought we'd have children together. I didn't really like children,

but I always thought we'd have them and then I'd like them.

He's got children.

Yes, yes.

He's got children and he's got money and he's got a rich mother and he’s got a

book and no one will publish my book. It's not even that bad either.

And I don't have any money.

Well, I could have had the alimony but I chose to get the divorce the quickest way

possible, of course, didn't I?

It's a rotten shame.

It's my own fault. But when I talk to him about this,

he just cries and says he can't marry.

Well, why can't he marry?

I’d be a good wife.

I'm easy to get on with. I’d leave him alone.

It’s a rotten shame.

It is. It is a rotten shame.

I guess there's just no use talking about it now, is there.

And there isn't anything I can do?

No, just please don't tell him that we spoke.

I know what he wants.

He wants to go to New York. Alone. So that when his book launches and all the

little chickens like it. That's what he wants.

Well, maybe they won't like it. I really don't think he's that way.

You don't know him like I do.

He wants to go there and have his big triumph. All on his own.

Shall we head back?

Yes. Let’s.

What are you smiling at? You seem pretty happy with yourself.

Smiling at you and Jake. With your secrets.

What I told Jake isn't a secret. Everyone's going to know soon enough.

I just wanted to give him the decent version.

What is it? About going to England?

Oh, yes. About my going to England. Jake,

I forgot to tell you. I'm going to England.

Isn't that fine?

Yes, because that's how we do it in the very best of families.

Robert's sending me away. With 200 pounds. To see friends.

And they don't even know about it yet. You were only going to give me 100 pounds

but I convinced him to give me 200. He really is just very generous you know.

Aren’t you, Robert?

You say such darned things, Francis.

Oh, listen to him. I'm the one who's going to England.

I'm the one who's going to see friends.

Have you ever visited friends that don't want you there?

And of course they're just going to have to take me in. Oh, how are you Francis?

It's been such a long time. How's your dear mother? Yes. How is my dear mother?

Oh, she put all of our money into French war bonds.

She's probably the only person on the planet that did. And

we must be most careful not to mention Robert around poor, sweet Francis.

She's just gone through the most unfortunate events.

Doesn't that sound fun? Doesn't that sound fun to you, Jake?

And where are you going to be, Robert? It's my own fault.

It's my own damn fault.

When I made you get rid of your little secretary on the magazine

I should have known that you would get rid of me in the exact same way.

Oh, Jake doesn't know about this. Should I tell him?

Shut up, Francis. For God's sakes.

I think I'll tell him.

So, Robert had this little secretary of the magazine. Oh,

she was just the sweetest little thing in the world.

He thought she was pretty wonderful. And then he thought I was pretty wonderful.

And so naturally I made him get rid of her.

And he did it just to please me. Get this, get this.

He had brought her from Provincetown to Carmel

and didn’t even pay her fare back. All just to please me.

You thought I was pretty wonderful then, didn't you? But you mustn’t misunderstand.

You see, this was absolutely platonic. I mean, not even platonic.

There was nothing going on at all. You did it just to please me.

Well,

I suppose those who live by the sword shall perish by the sword.

Isn't that literary? Maybe you should remember that for your next book.

Yeah, Robert's going to get new material for his new book.

That's why he's leaving me. He's decided I don't film well.

But you see, he was always so busy,

busy writing in his book when we were living together that you just don't even

remember us. Now he's going to find new material.

Well, I hope you get some frightfully interesting new material.

Listen, Robert, dear. Let me tell you something you don't mind, do you?

Don't have scenes with your young ladies because when you have scenes you just

can't seem to not cry.

And then you pity yourself and then you just can't hear what the other person's

saying. You'll never remember conversations that way.

Just try and stay calm. I know that's very hard for you.

And remember, it's for literature.

We all must make sacrifices for literature. I mean, look at me.

I'm going to England. Without protest, I might add.

We should support our young writers, shouldn’t we, Jake?

Except you're not really a young writer. You're what,

34 now? I suppose that is young for a great writer.

Think of Hardy and Anatole France.

Didn’t he just die recently? Robert doesn't think he's that great anyway,

some of his French friends told him that. He doesn't read French very well himself.

He wasn't really a good writer like you are.

Do you think he had to go source material?

What do you think he said to his mistress when he wouldn't marry her?

I just thought of something. It’s so simple.

I can't believe I haven't thought about it before. Do you want to hear it?

Well, you see, Robert has always wanted a mistress.

So if he doesn't marry me well then he's had one.

You see, she was his mistress for two years.

And if he doesn't marry me, like he always promised,

then that would be the end of all the romance.

Don't you think I'm bright for figuring that one out? I mean, look at him.

It's true. Oh, where are you going?

I've got to see Harvey Stone in a minute.

Here is the post. And there was a lady here to see you.

Did she leave a card?

No, she was with a gentleman. It was the one who was here last night.

In the end. I thought she was very nice.

Was she with a friend of mine?

I don't know. I've not seen him here before.

He was very generous. Very, very generous. She was very nice,

very, very nice. Last night, I think perhaps she was a little…

Let me say to you,

frankly, Monsieur Barnes. Last night I found she

was not so gentille.

I formed an idea about her.

But listen to me when I tell you she is tres, tres gentille.

She is of very good family. It is that you see.

Did they leave any word?

Yes. They said they will be back in an hour.

Can you send them up when they come?

Yes, Monsieur Barnes. And you know that lady, that lady.

She is someone. An eccentric perhaps, but quelqu’une, quelqu’une.

Hello darling. Aren't you going to let us in?

Come on. I was just bathing.

Oh, aren’t you the fortunate man. Bathing.

Just a shower.

Do sit down, Count Mippipopolous.

I don't know whether you like flowers sir,

but I took the liberty of just bringing this for you.

Give that to me. Jake, will you put some water in that for me?

Oh, I say we have had a day.

You don't remember anything about a date with me at the Crillon?

No. Did we have one? God, I must've been blind.

You were quite drunk, my dear.

Wasn't I, though? Count here has been a brick. He remembers everything.

Well, you’ve got hell's own drag with the concierge now.

Ought to have. Gave her 200 francs.

Don’t be a fool.

His.

I thought we ought to give her a little something for last night.

It was very late.

Yes. The count here is wonderful. He remembers everything.

So do you, my dear.

Fancy. Who’d want to? I say Jake, do we get a drink?

You get it while I go get dressed. You know where it is.

Rather.

How's the head, darling? Still is rocky?

Oh Brett, I love you so much.

Do you want me to send him away?

No, he's nice.

I'll send him away. No, don't.

Yes, yes. I'll send him away.

You can't just like that.

Oh, can't I?

You just lie there. He's mad about me. I'll tell you.

Count…

Poor old darling.

What did you say to him?

Sent him for champagne. He loves to go for champagne.

How's the head? Feeling any better?

It's better.

Well, you just lay here. He’s gone to the other side of town.

Couldn't we just live together, Brett? Couldn't we just live together?

I don't think so. It wouldn't work. I’d just tromper you with everyone.

You wouldn't be able to stand it.

I stand it now.

That would be different. It's just the way I'm made, Jake. It's my fault.

I know.

Isn't it rotten? There isn’t any use my telling you I love you?

You know I love you.

Let's not talk. Talking's all bilge. But I'm going away from you

and Michael's coming back.

Why are you going?

It's better for you. It's better for me.

When are you going?

As soon as I can.

Where?

San Sebastián.

Can't we go together?

That's a hell of an idea after we just talked it all out.

We never agreed.

Oh, don't be obstinate darling. You know as well as I do.

I know. I'm just low and when I'm low I talk like a fool.

Oh, don't look at me like that.

Well, how do you want me to look?

Don't be a fool. I'm going away tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Yes I am. Didn't I say so?

Well, let's get a drink. The Count should be back now.

Yes, he should be back.

You know he's extraordinary about buying champagne. It means any amount to him.

Where should I have him put it, sir?

Oh, in the kitchen.

Put it in there, Henry.

Anything else, sir?

Yes, Henry, go down and get the ice.

Yes sir.

I think you'll find this is very good wine.

I know we don't get much of a chance to judge good wine in the States now, but

I got this from a friend of mine that's in the business.

You've always got someone in the trade.

This fellow raises the grapes. He's got thousands of acres of them.

What's his name? Verve Clicquot?

No, Mumms. He's a baron.

Isn't it wonderful? We’ve all got titles. Why don't you have a title, Jake?

I assure you, sir, it never does a man any good.

Most of the time it costs you money.

I don't know. I find it damned useful.

I've never known it for me to do any good.

You haven't used it properly. I've got hell’s own amount of credit on mine.

Do take a seat, Count.

I say, Jake, I’d hate to ruin your rugs. Can you get a chap an ashtray?

Put a bottle in it, Henry.

Anything else, sir?

No. Wait down in the car.

We’ll want to ride out to the Bois for dinner?

Oh, if you like. I couldn't eat a thing.

I always like a good meal.

Should I bring the wine in, sir?

Yes, bring it in, Henry.

Like to try a real American cigar?

Thanks. I’ll stick with the cigarette.

I like a cigar to really draw. Half of the cigar’s you smoke

don't draw.

And when you are divorced, Lady Ashley, then you won't have a title.

No? What a pity.

No, my dear. You don't need a title.

You got class all over you.

Thanks. Awfully decent of you.

I'm not joking you. You got the most class of anybody I’ve ever seen.

Nice of you to say. Mommy would be pleased.

Perhaps you could write it down in a letter and I can send it to her.

I tell her too. I'm not joking you.

I never joke people. Joke people and you make enemies.

That's what I always say.

You're right. You're terribly right.

I mean I joke people all the time and I haven’t a friend in the world except for

Jake here.

You don't joke him.

That's it.

Do you now? Do you joke him?

No, I wouldn't joke him.

See you don't joke him.

I say, this is a hell of a dull conversation.

Why don't we open some of that champagne?

It isn't cold yet. You're always drinking, my dear.

Why don't you just talk?

I talk too bloody much. I've talked myself all out to Jake.

I should like to hear you really talk, my dear. When you talk to me,

you never finish your sentences at all.

As I leave for you to finish. I'll let anyone finish them as they like.

It is a very interesting system.

Still

I would like to hear you talk sometime.

Isn't it a fool?

Now, I think this is cool. I like to drink champagne from magnums.

The wine is better, but it would've been too hard to cool.

I say, you might open it.

Yes, my dear. Now I will open it.

I say, that is wine. We ought to toast to something.

Here's to royalty.

This wine is too good for toast drinking, my dear.

You don't want to mix emotions up with a wine like that. You lose the taste.

You should write a book about wines, Count.

Mr. Barnes, all I want out of wines is to enjoy them.

Let's enjoy a little more of this.

There, my dear.

Now you enjoy that slowly and then you can get drunk.

Drunk? Drunk?

Yes, my dear. You are charming when you are drunk.

Listen to the man.

Mr. Barnes,

she's the only lady that I've ever known who was as charming when she was drunk

as when she was sober.

You haven't been around much, have you?

Oh, my dear, I've been around very much. I've been around a very great deal.

It’s alright. Well, drink your wine. We've all been around. I dare say,

Jake here’s been around just as much as you have.

My dear. I'm sure Mr. Barnes has seen a lot.

Don't think that I don't think so, sir. I've seen a lot too.

I know, darling. I was only ragging.

I've been in seven wars and four revolutions.

Soldiering?

Sometimes, my dear. And I've got arrow wounds.

Have you ever seen arrow wounds?

Let's see them then.

You see them? See them?

See them on the back where they came out?

I say, that is something.

Straight through.

How did you get those?

In Abyssinia. When I was 21 years old.

What were you doing? Were you in the army?

I was on a business trip, my dear.

See I told you he's one of us. I love you, Count. You’re a darling.

You make me very happy, my dear. But

it isn't true.

Oh, don't be an ass.

You see, Mr. Barnes it is because I have lived very much that now I can enjoy

everything so well. Don't you find it like that?

Yes, absolutely.

I know. That's the secret. You must get to know the values.

Doesn't anything ever happen to your values?

Not anymore.

Never fall in love?

Always. I'm always in love.

Oh, and what does that do to your values?

That too has got a place in my values.

You are having any values, that's all. You’re dead.

No, my dear. You are not right. I'm not dead at all.

I disagree. More champagne, please.

Where would you like to go?

We might go up on the hill. I say, haven't we had a splendid party?

You are very nice people. Why don't you get married? You two.

We want to live our own lives.

Yes, we have our own careers. Come on, let's get out of this.

Have another brandy.

You can have one up on the hill.

No. Have it here. Where it is quiet.

You and your quiet. What is it with men and quiet.

We like it. Like you like noise, my dear.

Alright, let's have one then.

- Sommelier. - Yes, sir.

What is the oldest brand you have?

1811.

Bring us a bottle.

I say, don't be ostentatious. Call him off, Jake.

Listen, my dear.

I get more value for my money in old brandy than in any other antiquities.

Got many antiquities?

I got the houseful.

You're a rotten dancer, Jake. You know Michael's the best dancer I know.

Oh, he’s splendid.

He’s got his points.

I like it. I'm damned fond of him.

I'm going to marry him. That's funny.

I haven't even thought about him in over a week.

Don't you write him?

Not I. I don't write letters.

When are you getting married?

How the hell should I know? As soon as we can get this divorce sorted.

Michael's trying to get his mother to put up for it.

I could help you.

Don't be an ass. Michael's people have loads of money.

Very nice. You looked very, very nice.

Don't you dance, Count?

No, I'm too old.

Oh, come off it.

My dear, I would do it if I would enjoy it.

I enjoy to watch you dance.

Well, splendid. I'll have to dance again for you sometime.

I say, what about your little friend Zizi?

Let me tell you. I support that boy, but I don't want him around.

Jake's rather the same way.

Anyhow. His father was a great friend of my father.

Jake, come on, let's go dance.

Oh darling, I feel miserable.

You were fine just a minute ago.

But it's all gone.

What's matter up?

I don't know. I just feel terribly.

Do you want to go?

Let's go. You don't mind?

Alright.

Brett wants to go.

Does she? That's fine.

You take the car. I'm going to stay here for a while, Mr. Barnes.

It was a wonderful time. I wish you would let me get this.

Mr. Barnes. Don't be ridiculous.

No. Don't come up.

Really?

No, please.

Goodnight, Brett. Sorry you feel rotten.

Goodnight, Jake. Goodnight, my darling. I won’t see you again.

No, don’t.

Darling. Very quiet and healthy. Love to all the chaps. Love, Brett.

Going out of the country for a couple of weeks. Don’t know where,

but I'm holding you to that fishing trip in Spain for the summer.

If you need to get in touch with me, do so through my accountants.

Hey, I just got back.

Haven't even bathed. Michael gets in tonight.

Good.

Come and eat with us and then we'll go all meet him.

No, I must clean myself.

Oh rot. Come on.

Must bathe. And Michael doesn't get in until 9.

Well, come and grab a drink then. Before you bathe.

Oh, I might do that now you're not talking rot.

So how are you, Jake?

Great. I've had a good time.

Well, I was a fool to go away. One is an ass to leave here.

Did have a good time?

It was all right. I mean, interesting. But not frightfully amusing.

See anybody?

No, I didn't see hardly anyone. Didn't really go out.

Didn't you swim?

No.

I didn't do a thing.

Having a very quiet time here. Not much going on, but bathing,

playing some golf and much bridge. Hendaye had a splendid beach

but looking forward to the fishing trip. When will you be down?

Would you buy me a double tapered line? I'll pay you when I get down.

I haven’t seen you since I've been back.

No.

How are you, Jake?

Fine.

I say, is Robert coming on this trip?

Yes. Why?

Don't you think it'll be a little rough on him?

Why would it be?

Who do you think I went to San Sebastián with?

Congratulations.

What did you say that for?

I don't know. What do you want me to say?

Well, he behaved rather well. But he gets a little dull.

Does he?

I rather thought it would be good for him.

You should take up a social service then.

Don't be nasty.

I won't.

Didn't you really know?

I don't know. I guess I never really thought about it.

Do you think it'll be too rough on him?

Well, that's up to him.

You could always ask him and he might not come.

I’ll write him.

Give him the chance to pull out.