Original subtitles

[Music]

[Music]

[ __ ]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I'm home

sweetheart it's just some stupid

superstition anyway what happened you

said 11 o'clock I'm sorry just me I

would have but you know five minutes

before you

won't be here tomorrow night

okay with 101 Southland weather another

[Music]

that's a great outfit thank you that

door isn't real Wow yeah you need to I

don't know just

does any more potent I kill somebody and

nothing I'm getting married next month

and why are you dead on arrival again

Sanka weeks

salary a new woman

Thanks

Oh housewife from hell I

don't know maybe when I get back from

the expose step

hey come on everybody we're doing a

makeover oh it's a butch official facial

facing music

[Music]

feeling fresh and wholesome but science

has

[Music]

[Music]

dr. Gallagher oh no I couldn't

sensual oil right of your love trap

you

[Music]

[Applause]

go to bed mrs. merr

[Music]

[Music]

when

[Music]

[Music]

No

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

I

am blow dryer in my pool

damn it kid you're not gonna control my

mind when you're not you're just gonna

swim right through it

[Music]

this is what it looks like things

weren't bad enough now I've been

abducted by a UFO

[Music]

I'm sure looking for somebody much more

important you don't like

needles you know man's

my person you can tell anything to never

tell that's what cousin Debbie oh

my god

say your name zebu Kathy over maybe I'll

just call you Matt how's that

listen it was really nice meeting you

fellas but

[Music]

don't freak out Billy this is

you know back to your planet

comprende

[Music]

people hate that I mean they're gonna

want to shoot you or something so just

make yourselves at home

hi this is Valerie gale could you say

you

[Music]

no not there no come with me

you go

and then you flush

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

this morning no real duh shoots his

board hits me right in the head dude

that brain wax your board raver waves

[Music]

yes I've never ever been unfaithful to

you ever I'm only Val I'm so sorry

please forgive me see you wanna

[Music]

[Music]

sorry I was such an [ __ ] oh I see you

found the cable tonight

oh my god we're gonna do probably had

about a zillion gallons of Nair

[Music]

whatever you do a UFO landed my pool and

they captured me but we made can you

help them out would you listen to your

said Valerie come here just sit down

honey well nutcase let me get a

cigarette

[Music]

what can they talk wattle it be

mad and this is Zeebo and this is

drained and you know Ted I mean if he

finds out there Ellie she's gonna want

to call why she night I just want to

talk to him tell me this is insane hell

I see split ends are universal

well it's all dead it's got to come off

bit on it I'll get some clothes but if I

find one flee the deal's off

[Music]

he's even cute I know

[Music]

it was easy you know I started them okay

okay

so like it's dumpy dates do you guys

have message

you crashed in the valley I mean it's

the baddest place on earth

[Music]

man-boy giving up rope enough Victor I'm

afraid so true but I just kept pretend

like this didn't happen you know

[Music]

oh

it's only gonna take a minute

[Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Music]

you could actually play this job I just

don't feel like talking much

hey mr. right is like the guy you dream

of meeting every sister right for each

other

[Music]

[Music]

all right and don't be covering my dance

moves

[Music]

[Applause]

I'm going home with him

first I thought you kind of looked like

that giant big fat guy who

I'm sure has a girlfriend

[Applause]

[Music]

I

[Music]

can't believe you're printing it

[Music]

oh

yeah

[Music]

Lord stand up to anything

where's Martin Martin where's the van

wait don't don't panic she probably

[Music]

this is dr. Gallagher I'd like to report

a break-in human okay just act human

who are they sup that you mean like a

rock'n'roll man what are you doing with

I am uh Mac how's it hanging mister dude

dumb pie fellas this is private I'm sure

you won't mind when I asked you to leave

oh no no I think I threw you out dr.

love oh yeah well now I'm gonna throw

the bar

now these guys are too weird how

are youse good

I'm dr. Gallagher

I'm officer Demonte this fine however

these degenerates broke into my home

officer sir this man does not live here

anymore and he's just a domestic dispute

good if with the bus your arm you can

put on your own care and that's

psychotic care of yours crazy the

wedding's off

I'm sorry I think I am

[Music]

no Ted doesn't want to come back I

don't know I just want to be happy

now Mac could make Valerie feel it is

sex is like totally out of the question

Heather and they take the clothes off

and okay oh we can't because I mean

you're you're an alien and I'm from the

vet

no problem but I mean

[Music]

you

[Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Music]

god I had the weirdest dream last night

you have this drain just no I just have

one

this it's beautiful it sounds to me

it's drivin

so yeah we mark was holding the wall you

stir crap

[Music]

the way I'm making pancakes from scratch

[Laughter]

I'm always doing that

okay bringing that girl here was

inexcusable

that marrying you is the most important

thing in the world right now Oh unless

of course I'm giving her a physical

examination well I I'm gonna be as

strong as it was unless the person who's

really committed and not bringing home

yeah it's barely off my board in the

white girls you know girls this is a

would burger no girl Deb believe me like

that come on anything you want Twizzlers

I got some Milk Duds

izes i need romance I mean how long has

it been

well Ted come on get the car will you

[Music]

[Music]

hello bee

how many times have I told you not to

tell fibs like that hey leave that

some brews and some sounds down yeah you

there take it take it off

thank you

hey

buddies are out there

[Music]

everywhere

[Applause]

Frias woody

[Music]

it's where I learned how to surf

yeah rest her she's a nice lady

you have to get them friendly

we go to slammer first thanks with Joey

my no no just couldn't get away

hey

what

you just did

two new patients in emergency

dr. love

[Music]

thanks for the lift

bye

hi doctor did alright boys the party's

over - settle down excuse me I'm looking

for two patients who are just admitted

Surf's Up Surf's Up leave it alone wait

breathe breathe you each have two

heartbeats

oh

yes they're in the American there

got to get in let's do it

I don't want any part of you or Ted or

your kinky sex trips push the call

button

you don't go to prison

these guys aren't going anywhere I'm

admitting them both for observation at a

time

that's impossible they each have two

distinct

[Music]

is there something wrong doctor oh hello

doctors

[Music]

these last two days have been hell it's

affecting my work

tonight well wait a minute what about

the church in my dress and I don't know

I'm just so surprised come on you want

[Music]

hey Barbara Ted here listen

well I'm gonna lose a little money take

it just because I'm getting married

doesn't mean we can't date right

not gonna forget

give Tanya my number

[Music]

gave miss this

okay Ted they're not a bad

[Music]

I

guess it wasn't meant to be but

[Music]

Valarie what are you doing

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

you

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

that's it

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

again

on Monday then I promise

well energy I thought we could throw

away

please

Gareth 101 news I'm Claudia Marshall

[Music]

you look so great that's a great athlete

I

[Music]

don't know slipping off

does any more potent I kill some head

and nothing I'm getting married next

month

[Music]

again week two weeks

little snap him out of it a new woman

let's see how you look on the makeup

machine Oh housewife from hell I

don't know maybe when I get back from

the nails

hey come on everybody we're doing a make

a put a butch official

down to face the music

[Music]

you

[Music]

sensual oil rice the atmosphere of your

love trap

sorry I'm so embarrassed I didn't know

Ted had company I'm all right Robin a

pileup who's your friend what is going

on here you brought a girl home to have

sex what I'm really not into kinky

scenes

bye why can't you ever with me I'm sorry

I made a stupid mistake

I'll show you involved

wait a minute

[Applause]

go to bed mrs. Merkle

[Music]

[Music]

No

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

there's a giant blow dryer in my pool

no [ __ ]

damn it kid you're not gonna control

you're just gonna swim right through it

[Music]

what's going on Oh

like things weren't bad enough I've been

abducted by a UFO right

[Music]

I'm sure somebody much more important

you don't like me but anything except

nails you know Nance I mean I'm the kind

of person that you can tell anything to

I'll never tell that's what

[Music]

say your name Mack

[Music]

people hate that I mean they're gonna

want to shoot you or something

today about the mess make yourselves at

home

hi this is Valerie gambler

[Music]

I

never seem to do that before what is

that listen this is C I lost my contact

lens of the face no no not you didn't

expect that behaving aliens for lunch

[Music]

hmm too much work Oh spray-on cheese

this is great

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

how come how long is this gonna take

today they were pumping like that this

morning no some hot dog shoots his board

hits me right in the head leave that

waste your brain wax your board bravely

skies too thick top

[Music]

you've got to believe this I've never

ever been unfaithful to you ever

fell I'm so sorry please forgive me

[Music]

[Music]

I'm sorry I was such an [ __ ]

oh my god finally had about a zillion

gallons of Nair

[Music]

oh

um a UFO landed my pool and they capped

nothing I'm on drugs

can you help them out but not Ted

Valerie come here just forever okay well

in that case let me get a cigarette

[Music]

I don't think so can they talk waddly be

millions

mad and this they can't leave until the

pool is drained and you know Ted I mean

if he finds out they're a legion I don't

I just want to talk to him he'll be

well I see split ends are universal

well it's all dead no thanks it's got

spit on it I'll get some clothes but if

I find one flee the deals woman I went

for the blonde surfer look

he's even cute I know surprise

[Music]

it was easy

okay okay come on slices

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh

it's only gonna take a minute

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

either great tip he's coming home

tonight and there's a UFO get these guys

out of here before anybody figures out

there and he's a lip-lock

Mars or something could you die

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

you could actually plate sorry I just

don't feel like talking much yeah mr.

right is like the guy you dream

[Music]

[Music]

lucky ladies with me all right and don't

be cup of my dance moves so we can't do

this

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

yeah I'm going home with him you know I

don't even know where planning

first I thought you kind of looked like

that a really cute guy

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

this baby

[Music]

he said the Commodore would stand up to

anything

Justin where's Martin

please

this is dr. Gallagher I'd like to repay

act human okay just act human just

totally correct

what's up that you mean like a rock oh

no man hi I am Mack how's it hanging I'm

sorry fellas this is private I'm sure

you won't mind when I asked you to leave

my house wait wait wait I think I threw

you out dr. love oh yeah what a tearing

me apart

salvia dude what is it now

Gallagher I'm dr. Gallagher

fee what does Valerie want

thanks but I don't think anybody could

wait a minute are you like coming on to

me is this a path because you know

making love

Mel because I mean me and Tedder or

well I guess we're not but anatomically

correct for each other that could be a

real problem work I mean you're from out

of town the phone bills would just be

happy

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

arts yes

don't you know a song I said like earth

do you own your own home or do you rent

[Music]

hi guys hoping to decaf oh

I heard it probably forgive you but what

about calling off the wedding and and I

promise I won't so much as look at

another woman so long as I live a

porcelain nail Ted you can break it and

you can glue it back to me today

nothing mid radical rips all the way in

ease

wahi knees you know Gert I

could fix you up with some bodacious

chest

we go get pendant yeah candy good I know

where I'm gonna take you I'm gonna take

you to Zuma Beach need you I'm crazy

about you

if I

keep these

I know

[Music]

you

you

for any minute then that green pile of

junk

[Music]

[Music]

Beach what their bond there with you

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[ __ ]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I'm home

sweetheart it's just some stupid

superstition anyway what happened you

said 11 o'clock I'm sorry just me I

would have but you know five minutes

for you

tomorrow night

okay

Gareth 101 Southland weather another

[Music]

that's a great outfit thank you that

door isn't real bow yeah you need to

fill I

don't know just

does any more potent that kill somebody

oh and nothing I'm getting married next

month and why are you you're dead on

arrival

again Sanka two weeks

salary a new woman

thanks mate Oh housewife from hell I

don't know maybe when I get back from

the expose State

hey come on everybody we're doing a

makeover it's a butch official

music

[Music]

using fresh and wholesome but science

has

[Music]

this is where we

eris I didn't know Ted had company I'm

Valerie Robin a pile up who's your

friend gone here you brought a girl home

to have sex well you weren't supposed to

be into kinky scenes

by

hey I'm sorry I made a stupid mistake

hey

wait a minute pal

[Applause]

got a bad mrs. merr

[Music]

[Music]

who ain't

[Music]

[Music]

No

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

I

am blow dryer in my pool

damn it kid you're not gonna control my

mind when you're not you're just gonna

swim right through it

[Music]

this is what it looks like things

weren't bad enough now I've been

abducted by a UFO

[Music]

[Music]

I'm sure looking for somebody much more

important you don't like

needles you know man's

my person you can tell anything to never

tell that's my cousin Debbie oh

my god

say your name

Zeebo

[Music]

they're gonna want to shoot you or

something so

make yourselves at home

hi this is Valerie gale could you say

what do you

never seem to do that before

nians for lunch Oh

locale Pop Tarts

[Music]

farm tray work Oh spray-on cheese this

is great

[Music]

come with me

yeah and then you flush

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

this morning no real shoots his board

hits me right in the head leave that

ring wax your board brave for waves

[Music]

yes I've never ever been unfaithful to

you ever I'm only Val I'm so sorry

please forgive me see you when I

[Music]

[Music]

was such an [ __ ] oh I see you found

the cable okay oh my god are we gonna do

probably had about a zillion gallons of

Nair

[Music]

oh

whatever you do a UFO landed my pool and

they captured me but we made can you

help them out would you listen to your

said Valerie come here just sit down

honey well in that case let me get a

cigarette

[Music]

what can they talk wattle it be

mad and this

z-bo and this is drained and you know

Ted I mean if he finds out they're ILI's

she's gonna want to call why she I just

want to talk to him tell me this is

insane hell I see split ends are

universal

well it's all dead it's got to come off

bit on it I'll get some clothes but if I

find one flea the deal's off

[Music]

he's even cute I know

[Music]

it was easy you know I started them okay

okay

[Music]

[Music]

oh

it's only gonna take a minute

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

you break Ted he's coming home tonight

and there's a UFO in my pool before

anybody figures out there

[Music]

what's her problem

[Applause]

[Music]

I

[Music]

could actually play this drop I just

don't feel like talking right

mr. right is like the guy you dream of

meeting every sister right for each

other

[Music]

all right and don't be cup of my dance

moves

[Music]

[Applause]

I'm going home with him

first I thought you kind of looked like

that giant big fat guy

who I'm sure has a girlfriend

[Applause]

[Music]

I

[Applause]

[Music]

can't believe your fringing in it

[Music]

Lord stand up to anything

where's Martin Martin where's Val wait

the little panic she probably

[Music]

this is dr. Gallagher I'd like to report

a break-in human okay just act human

who are they sup that you mean like a

rock oh man what are you doing with I am

Mac how's it hanging mister dude dumb

pie fellas this is private I'm sure you

won't mind when I asked you to leave oh

no no I think I threw you out dr. love

oh yeah well now I'm gonna throw the

ball

now these guys are too weird how

are youse good

I'm dr. Gallagher

I'm officer Demonte this fine however

[Music]

you

no Ted doesn't want to come back I

don't know I just want to be happy

now Mac and Mike Valerie feel it is sex

is like totally out of the question

Heather and they take the clothes off

and okay we can't because I mean you're

you're an alien and I'm from the vet

no problem

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

god I had the weirdest dream last night

you have this drain just no I just have

one

this it's beautiful it sounds to me

it's drivin

so yeah we mark was holding the wall you

stir crap

[Music]

the way I'm making pancakes from scratch

[Laughter]

I'm always doing that

okay bringing that girl here was

inexcusable

that marrying you is the most important

thing in the world right now Oh unless

of course I'm giving her a physical

examination well I I'm gonna be as

strong as it was unless the person who's

really committed and not bringing home

yeah it's barely off my board in the

white girls you know girls this is a

would burger no girl Deb believe me like

that come on anything you want Twizzlers

I got some Milk Duds

guises I need romance I mean how long

has it been

well Ted come on get to the car will you

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

my buddies are out there

[Music]

everywhere

[Applause]

sorry woody let's shake it

this you know you Fred I guess they kind

of robbed the mini-mart when I wasn't

looking and they totaled Toys R Us

that's it

[Music]

Blackstar

[Music]

where I learned how to serve

yeah rest her she's a nice lady

paramedic you don't wanna be

we have to get them friendly

we go to slammer first thanks with

children no no just couldn't get away

Hey

what

you just did

two new patients and emergency doctor

[Music]

thanks for the lift

hi doctor did all right boys the party's

over settle down excuse me looking for

two patients who are just admitted

Surf's Up Surf's Up leave it alone

breathe breathe you each have two

heartbeats

oh

yes they're in the immersion there

got to get in let's do it

oh

look I don't want any part of you or Ted

or your kinky sex trips push the call

button

you don't go to prison

these guys aren't going anywhere I'm

admitting them both for observation at a

time

that's impossible

they each have two distinct

[Music]

is there something wrong doctor oh hello

doctors

[Music]

these last two days have been hell it's

affecting my work

tonight well wait a minute what about

the church in my dress and I don't know

I'm just so surprised come on you want

[Music]

Barbara Ted here listen

well I'm gonna lose a little money take

it just because I'm getting married

doesn't mean we can't date all right

[Music]

you

you

I

[Music]

guess I wasn't meant to be but

[Music]

you guys

Valerie what are you doing

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

that's it

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

again

on Monday then I promise

well energy I thought we could throw

away

Gareth 101 News I'm Claudia Marshall

[Music]

you

well what'll snap him out of it a new

woman

so let's see how you look on the makeup

machine Oh housewife from hell I

don't know maybe when I get back from

the nails

hey come on everybody we're doing a make

a put a book official

face the music

[Music]

fresh and wholesome

[Music]

it's me

dr. Geller oh no no I couldn't

sensual oil rice the atmosphere of your

love trap

sorry I'm so embarrassed I didn't know

Ted had company I'm all right Robin a

pileup who's your friend what is going

on here you brought a girl home to have

sex I'm really not into kinky scenes

bye why could you ever with me I'm sorry

I made a stupid mistake

I saw you involved

[Applause]

go to bed missus

[Music]

[Music]

you reason dick happen no band is fine

let's face it