All language subtitles for Kapil.Show.S03E06_track3_[eng]

Thank you, guys!

Good evening, and welcome to
The Great Indian Kapil Show!

- Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
- Thank you!

Thank you so much.
Please take your seats.

Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!

- Kapil!
- Kaps!

Just one interview!

- Kaps, just one interview!
- Just one, please!

- One question, please!
- Please.

One at a time.
What do you want?

- Kaps, one interview, please.
- Please.

- Please.
- That can wait.

First, delete the interview
you recorded with Sidhu sahab yesterday.

That wasn't an interview.
He was just flirting with you in Punjabi.

And if Archana ji ever says,
"Let's start a kitty,"

- don't fall for it.
- Really?

She'll run off with all your money.

You've heard of Parmeet sir, right?

Her husband?

- She owed him sixty thousand,
- Did I?

but instead of paying it back,
she married him.

She's laughing like
she understood every word.

Thank you, girls!

Thank you.

Podcasts are the rage now, Archana ji.

They're so popular on social media,

it feels like every second person
has a podcast now.

- Because the first guy's the guest…
- Yes.

and the second guy's the host.

I'm telling you, if you try
to interview someone these days,

chances are they're already
interviewing someone else.

Yes.

What's crazy is the sheer variety
of podcasts out there.

Some go on for four to five hours,
and some wrap up in two minutes.

You can say you don't
have time for the long ones,

but what's your excuse
for a two-minute one?

- Yes. That you don't have time.
- "Paaji, it'll take just two minutes.

We'll be done before you know it."

Remember those old government vaccine ads?

They always said, "It doesn't hurt.

It doesn't even take long at all.
And you can get back to work right after."

Back in the day, when someone hosted
an interview on Doordarshan,

they wore a coat, pants, and a tie.

The interviews never lasted
more than 30 minutes

because that's about as long as
you could sit in those tight pants.

Every now and then,
you'd see them trying to adjust.

Like this.

For them, getting an answer
from the guest was easier

than getting their pants unstuck.

Right? We've all seen that.

In earlier times, villagers would
gather in the courtyard

and do their own version of podcasts

- that ran for five to seven hours.
- Yes.

They'd wear dhotis, after all,

so everything was loose and breezy.

They were comfortable,
and let's just say

their "content" got
plenty of ventilation too!

Two old-timers are sitting and chatting.
"So, bhai…

what's your son doing these days?"

He goes, "All sorted now.
He landed a government job."

"Oh, yeah?

My daughter finished her
B.A. in Home Science.

Should we lock in the match?"

These guys wouldn't get up
unless an ant crawled into their dhoti.

Until then, the podcast continued.

Modern podcasts are
packed with arguments about food.

Someone swears by protein,
while someone else warns against it.

Someone recommends salad,
someone else advises against it.

The world is totally confused about food.

But when it comes to drinking,
there's no confusion at all!

When two friends, both serious drinkers--

Like the time Dinesh
went to the doctor and said,

"Doctor sahab, I hope having
two drinks isn't a problem?"

The doctor said, "I have two myself."

So Dinesh goes,
"Then do me a favor.

Write me a prescription.
Two drinks, three times a day."

Remember the prescription he gave you?
What was on it?

Yeah, right, Glucose-DK!

Ever since mobile phones came around,
they've been a real pain.

No matter where people are,
they pull out their phones.

Even on a jungle safari, people are like,

"Guys!

This is a lion.

Guys, this is a lioness.
They're having a pawri together!"

The lion is supposed
to be the king of the jungle,

afraid of no one.

But one look at the camera,
and he bolts into the bushes.

He's thinking,
"These people are leaking

our private content
for their entertainment."

Nowadays, a lot of people
are starting podcasts

and producing content for social media.

But we've invited the few standout names

who actually made podcasts famous.

Each brings their own flavor and style.

So with a huge round of applause,
please welcome

Mr. Saurabh Dwivedi,

Mr. Raj Shamani,

Mrs. Kamiya Jani,

and Mr. Samdish Bhatia!

Dwivedi ji!

Sir!

How are you? Welcome.

- Welcome, Kamiya!
- Hello! How are you?

Samdish!

What a fantastic set!

Let's have a big round of applause
for all four of our guests.

Oh, hi!

Can I call you Kaps?

- Yeah, please.
- Kaps!

When you invited me,

I honestly didn't know
how to take such a big moment in.

- Okay.
- I didn't know how to process it.

I'm very young.
I don't look 31, but I am 31.

Who said 31 counts as young?

It's not young?

Bhai, if a guy's from
a well-settled family,

he could already be a father of two
by the time he hits 31.

- Are you married, Samdish ji?
- I used to be, once.

But let's not go there.

- Oh!
- Oh, so you were married?

Yeah, I was. Not anymore.

So why didn't you return her clothes?

Just kidding.
You're looking good, bro!

Love the style!

- You just got his stylist fired.
- It actually looks good.

Kurta over a petticoat.
That's the next big trend.

Looks great!

I'm a big fan of yours, Samdish ji.
Love you, bro!

I love you too, Kapil.

- I absolutely adore your craft.
- Love you, bhai.

- Thank you.
- I've learned a lot

- from people like you.
- Thank you.

So, thank you for calling me.

Anyway…

as I was saying--

Sorry. Please forgive me
if I end up taking too much time.

No, no. Please, take all the time
you want now so you're free later.

This guy is going to interrupt us all day!

I've seen a lot of his interviews,

and I'm always amazed at how
quickly he connects with his guests.

When I invite someone here,
especially from the film industry,

even people I've known for years,

I still find myself hesitating
to bring up certain topics.

But this guy, on his very first meeting,
just dives right in.

There were times I wondered

if he'd even manage
to make it home after the interview.

- You're brilliant. Really.
- Thank you. Thank you.

So yeah,

when you invited me,
I didn't know how to process it.

But honestly,
more than me or my friends,

my mom is your biggest fan.

- Thank you.
- And until two minutes ago,

she had no idea
I was a guest on the show today.

- Seriously?
- All I told them was that

I had arranged passes for them
to Kapil Sharma's show.

- That's my parents right there.
- Oh!

They had no clue
I was going to be on stage.

Welcome.

But if you still doubt yourself,
feel free to sit with the audience.

Uncle, I have a question.
The way he asks questions--

Auntie, I'm sure that's your doing.
Uncle can't say a word.

That's spot on!

Where did he learn this?

He's been like this since birth.

- Since birth!
- Came out like that!

We're from Patiala, Punjab.
You're from Amritsar.

- Really?
- Even my mom's family is from Amritsar.

People from there are naturally sharp.
You already know that.

But honestly, I love you, Samdish bhai.

All four of our guests today

are all over social media
doing amazing work.

They're taking over the digital world.

Saurabh bhai's The Lallantop is amazing.

Everyone knows how good it is.

Samdish with Unfiltered by Samdish,

Raj bhai with Figuring Out,

and Kamiya with Curly Tales
are all doing great.

- Thank you all so much for coming.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Amazing!

The four of them have each interviewed
nearly every major celebrity.

They all had one name
in common on their wish lists,

so I decided to invite them here together.

So…

Feels great meeting you all!

What you're saying--
I don't know if you were joking earlier,

but it's true.

There are so many stories of success.

Like they say in The Karate Kid,
"Life will knock you down…"

But what matters is how you get back up.

Most people see Kapil Sharma
always laughing and full of cheer,

but I see someone who knows
how to bounce back.

- Thank you, bhai.
- So, I really want to interview you.

Thank you, bhai.

You've always been
on everyone's wish list.

And I'm proud to say, if Kapil ji
has ever appeared on any of our shows,

it was mine.

- We both--
- Kapil ji, why the discrimination?

- Tell us, sir.
- There's no discrimination here.

She's a beautiful girl.

Can someone mute Samdish's mic?

Let's face it.
We're living in their world now.

No idea what spell they cast

They make you spill secrets
Just through a chat so fast

- Wow.
- Isn't that right?

Even the cops don't call narcotics
Like they did in the past

They call them to get the truth out fast!

Looks like today's episode
is going to be a banger.

Let's give them a round of applause.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Please take your seats.
A warm welcome to you all.

All four of them are so popular,

and each one has a unique personality.

Just look at Saurabh bhai.
He's looking so stylish today.

Usually, he wears a kurta with a gamcha.

When you see him,

it feels like he just wrapped up
a farming segment on Doordarshan.

And if someone asked how
to protect an eggplant crop from pests,

he'd actually give two
or three solid tips.

You can tell he's a man of the soil.

First of all, you apply ash
to keep pests away from eggplants.

- Then you can use some medicines.
- Perfect.

What I mean is, I proudly
carry this identity as I come from

a rural background, from Bundelkhand.

Some people think this cloth
is a stylish scarf,

but where I come from,

- we call it a gamcha or safi.
- Okay.

I carry it because I don't want
to lose that part of my identity.

- Well said. Truly admirable.
- Whatever I am today comes from there.

But can I say something?

Just look at Kamiya.
She's so lovely, so beautiful.

And she looks even more beautiful
when she talks while eating.

Honestly, I've seen many women

whose expressions totally change
after 15 minutes of eating.

While eating a samosa, they lick off
their lipstick with the chutney.

But she stays just as graceful
from start to finish.

"So tell me,
how did it all begin for you?"

What gave you the idea to create
a show around people eating?

I believe there are two kinds
of people in the world.

Those who love to travel,
and those who love to eat.

I happen to love both.

So when we started this show,

it was really because
I personally enjoy food.

- Okay.
- I took the first step, and then thought…

why not have some company?

My husband had gotten tired
of traveling with me,

so we figured, why not travel
and eat with celebrities instead?

Dwivedi ji, you--

Never mind. Forget it.

Was that a hidden joke?

What's hidden in that?
It was quite clear. You said,

"My husband got tired of me,"
and I was like, "Seriously?"

He gets everyone to spill
their secrets through laughter.

I get them to spill theirs through food.

- That's wonderful.
- Beautiful.

- And…
- Beautiful.

just like Sidhu paaji,
I've written something too.

Go ahead.

When you serve chole
With kulchas and a little love

When you serve chole
With kulchas and a little love

Secrets start flying, no push or shove

- Clap it up!
- Wow!

That's the kind of thing
that would've finished Ghalib off today.

To break Raj's silence,
let's keep the conversation going.

I think you need billionaire status
to talk to him.

Raj Shamani is actually going
to talk to us commoners?!

To us commoners?

I'm just kidding, man.
I'm kidding.

Raj is a handsome guy and very fit.

He gives off the vibe
of a Korean movie villain.

Seriously.

You're a lovely person.

But his name isn't just for that.

It's only been a few years since
we started following your podcasts,

but word is, you were among
the first to get into it.

And recently,
you managed to interview a personality

whom even the top agencies
in our country couldn't approach.

That's impressive work.

- First of all, congratulations.
- Thank you.

You've become so popular, bro.
We're so proud of you.

Every time we watch your show,

all we talk about in the office
is how we want to bring

the same magic to education
that Kapil bhai brought to entertainment.

That's sweet! Basically,
I'm the uneducated one here.

I barely managed to finish my B.A.,
and that alone was a big milestone for me.

- But yeah…
- But coming from where you have,

we always--

Where I came from?
I didn't crawl out of the jungle!

- Your journey really inspires me.
- Thank you, brother.

If I achieve even ten percent
of what you have,

- that will be a big win for me.
- Oh!

Thank you, bro. Appreciate the love.

We first saw him in 2007,

and from that day to now,

I've seen him stay steady the whole way.

Some people come and go,
and others take their place.

In a world full of scandals,
where trust barely exists,

the hardest thing to do

is bring a smile to someone's face.

To make them laugh.

- To help them forget their worries.
- Thank you, paaji.

- Kapil! Kapil!
- Thank you.

- And today…
- Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!

Back in 2006-2007,
we were studying at JNU.

Your shows had just begun airing,

- and seeing you on screen back then…
- It was incredible!

was so refreshing that--

But did Sidhu paaji look
that refreshing back then?

Because back then he was sitting next
to Shekhar Suman, and now it's Archana ji.

You can clearly see the difference,
Dwivedi ji.

Sir, I actually have a question.

Shoot.

Do you watch your old videos?

Of course, I do.

The BJP ones or the Congress ones?

I…

Dwivedi ji, that was a solid six!

No. I'm just asking out of curiosity, sir.

I… watch my BJP videos,

and the Congress ones too.

And now that he's in Punjab,
he watches AAP ones as well.

Saurabh bhai, I've noticed that when
you interview someone on The Lallantop,

there's a team of 40 to 50 people
around you.

So, do you invite a celebrity
or corner them?

No, we try to show them how much
we appreciate their work.

And also that it's not just about me.
It's all about teamwork.

Kapil is sitting here. Sidhu paaji
and ma'am are over there.

The entire team is behind you.

The show's format is such that

it's not just the main anchor
who asks questions.

- Yes.
- My fellow journalists ask questions too.

It reflects the synergy
of a collective newsroom.

But, Saurabh,
has there ever been a moment

when you regretted asking
a particular question?

Plenty of times, I have felt that
a question could have been phrased better.

Because our goal is never to embarrass
our guest or hurt their feelings.

Our aim is to look past the facade

and bring out our guests' truth.

Like, say I'm interviewing Kapil Sharma.

So, it will be very easy for him.

Easy, because he has had his practice.

It's in his muscle memory to crack a joke…

- Yes.
- which I'd love to hear.

But what interests me is how
he responds when he's alone,

or when his little child asks him
a serious question.

I want to know
how he processes grief or loneliness.

You know, we're always
surrounded by noise.

But when silence settles in,
how do we find our way out?

- And for that, asking questions is--
- Wow! You're a true magician with words.

You speak so well.

Barring politicians.

Just because they hold power

doesn't mean they should only be asked…

easy or agreeable questions.

They are in a position where they
decide the fate of millions in India,

where they shape people's futures

and determine how far
their aspirations can reach.

- There's no room for leniency there.
- Well said.

Saurabh bhai said we must
ensure our guests never feel hurt.

How much do you agree
with that line of thought?

Or do you not care
about these intellectual ideas?

- We'll see. You know, I--
- He's very sharp, I must say.

I've never given an interview before this.

So let's see if I'm even capable
of having an intellectual conversation.

- No, you--
- We'll see.

Bhai, the kind of work you do…

- Yes?
- isn't possible for the average person.

We don't have the courage
to be so bold. Samdish asks anything.

Once, during an interview
with a chief minister, he said,

"Sir, do you know the last CM
I interviewed lost the election?"

That's enough to make anyone uneasy.

The funny part is…

That he did lose!

- He lost!
- The man he interviewed actually lost!

He really lost, man!

See, our professions…

are a bit different.
I don't call myself a journalist.

I try to find the human being,
even inside a politician, because I feel--

Look…

I mean it, man!
I really mean it.

He was trying so hard to say that
without looking at Sidhu paaji.

- I'm just joking.
- What was that?

- Just like that!
- He untied my shoe!

My mother's from Patiala,
my father's from Ludhiana.

Having fun runs in our blood.

- So, you know…
- You don't need to cover up, bro.

It's okay.
Go ahead and finish your point.

I try to find the person. I mean…

There's this idea that when you're
sitting in front of a camera,

having a conversation,
you're always aware it's being recorded.

When you're in a movie theater, you're
aware it’s fiction playing out on screen.

And yet, as viewers, we still find
ourselves completely immersed.

In English, we call that
the "willing suspension of disbelief."

The audience does that.

I try to forget the camera's even there.

I try to connect, genuinely.

If something genuine
comes out of it, gets views,

and maybe even lands me
on the Kapil Sharma Show,

then that's great.

In fact, as a journalist,
I think what they're doing is right.

That's exactly why
I don't call myself a journalist.

I just try to connect with the person.
Like right now, I'm talking to you.

- I'm not thinking about Netflix--
- Samdish!

Forget the camera if you want,
but don't forget he's the anchor.

No. I'm actually having a great time.

Are you saying that to me or to yourself?

- To both of us.
- Fair enough.

- But, Samdish, after the cameras go off…
- Yes, ma'am?

has any politician ever picked up a chair
and chased you, yelling,

"How dare you ask me that?"

Ma'am, after the interview,
just to charm me, they've definitely said,

"We have a guest house in the hills.
Why don't you come stay for a while?"

- Really?
- This is the first time we're interacting.

You look lovely,

- Oh!
- You look absolutely lovely.

Don't look so surprised!

No, no.

Save that butter for your toast.
No need to slather it on her.

Why are you so salty about it?

- As Archana ma'am was saying--
- Raj, tell me, how are you?

What?

I've watched all your podcasts.

- These guys--
- You guys continue.

Let them talk.

- You know, one thing's clear now.
- I saw your episode…

- The rich only talk to the rich.
- with Vijay Mallya.

- You really did?
- The Vijay Mallya episode.

- It was five hours long, right?
- Four and a half.

No one thought of turning it into
a series of 30-minute Netflix episodes?

Bhai, you were asking
him questions so openly.

Didn't you even wonder for a second,

"He's not going back to India.
What if he tries to stop me too?"

- Where did the interview happen?
- In London.

How did it all happen? Did you
approach him, or did he reach out to you?

- What's the story? Everyone wants to know.
- What happened was--

I was out for a walk in London…

- Okay.
- when I happened to spot him.

- Just randomly?
- Yeah. I mean…

he was at a place

- I'd been invited to as well.
- Okay.

So as he was leaving, I saw him.

I had no idea I'd run into him there.
It was just a coincidence.

I just walked up to him

and asked,
"Sir, do you know who I am?"

He said, "No."
I said…

I asked him, "Do you know
what a podcast is?" He said, "No."

- Okay.
- So I explained

what a podcast is,
who I am, and what I want to do.

I said, "Would you be open to it?

Because I want to hear your side.
What are you up to these days?

How's life going?"

After talking for a few hours, he felt
we should move forward with the idea.

So we did.

- That's it.
- Wow.

Didn't that podcast lead to banks
reaching out for a meeting with him?

- Like, "We've got a few questions too."
- We have questions…

You didn't get calls like that?

Oh, I got a lot of calls!

But you know what?
The reason I couldn't--

Just like you were laying out facts
to him, one after another--

That takes serious research.

I've noticed that when
Saurabh bhai interviews someone,

he has a thick stack of notes
and sits exactly like this.

The guest starts wondering if he's about
to pull out their property papers too.

You did a five-and-a-half-hour
interview with Aamir Khan.

I've been saving it for summer vacations.

Summer vacations!

Even that might not be enough time.

He didn't just interview him. He…

- Wrung him dry.
- wrung him dry.

His kurta and slippers were all that
remained. Shocked you left them behind!

Aamir is such an interesting person.

- He has so much to share.
- That's true.

And that holds true for anyone who has

struggled in life
and worked across different fields.

My ustad ji, who is my wife, once said,

"If only you cared to listen,

- everybody has a story to share."
- Oh, absolutely.

I recently called Aamir bhai to invite him
here for Sitaare Zameen Par.

He said, "I already said everything I had
to say to him. So ask him instead."

You know, he has this unique style.

When he asks a question like,

- "What caused the fight?"
- Yes.

He goes quiet right after.
He keeps staring at the guest…

Yes.

until they answer.

Did you pick that up from journalism
or from your wife?

That look of,
"Let's see how you dodge this one!"

I learned that from my ustad, my wife.

- She's your ustad?
- Yes.

Is that coming from
a place of love or pressure?

Both.

You see, people like us,
who have made it into the spotlight,

owe whatever we've achieved
to the hard work of many others.

Today, when I tell a story, people ask,
"Do you read? Do you write?"

And every time,
I bow to my first ustad, my mother,

for passing on those values and that gift.

- That's amazing.
- My mother has this incredible talent.

One time, a thief broke into
our house in the village.

- Okay.
- He broke a latch

and walked maybe 15 or 20 meters
to another door.

That's it. That's the whole story.
The thief broke the latch.

My mother takes two and a half hours
to tell this one story.

Really?

She starts with,
"The weather was like this…

Nathu kaka was sleeping outside…

and before falling asleep,
he sang that one song."

One of the uncles used to sleep outside.

Then the latch broke,
and I felt, "Oh, Ram…"

When you're recalling something,

you're also remembering God
in that same breath.

"Was it the door to that room?
Or this latch? Was it the other one?"

"Then he entered,
and he looked like this,

so I screamed like that…
then Dad did this--"

She narrates it with such vivid detail.

When she was done narrating,

I asked her, "How long
did the whole thing actually last?"

She says, "Just two or three minutes."

My mother is such
a phenomenal storyteller.

An event that lasted three minutes--

The latch snapped, he entered,
she spotted him, screamed, and he bolted.

She turns that into a three-hour story.

- So clearly, that art has been passed on.
- Yes.

Your first teacher is your mother.

And your lifelong teacher,

who comes after the wedding ceremony
or the seven vows, is your wife.

So there's no greater teacher
than your wife.

- True.
- Yes, absolutely.

I totally agree.

Bhaisahab, you're making it
sound like a joke…

- No, no, no. I wouldn't dare!
- but when you--

- Absolutely not.
- That's why I call my wife my ustad.

She often says,

"Do you only listen
when it's for the camera?

There, you go on and on
about how listening matters.

You sit through long responses.
So why won't you listen now?"

So those constant reality checks
are what taught me to pause.

- "Okay, get it off your chest."
- May I?

Please go ahead.

Now that you sit with
so many big shots for hours,

- doesn't arrogance ever creep in?
- No.

Not even a little?

Look, when someone
starts getting arrogant,

just remember there are two places
in this country brimming with wisdom.

One is on the riverbanks,

and the other is on the posters
inside public restrooms.

- Oh my God!
- Yes.

You go to the ghats in Rishikesh,
and you'll see things written like,

"Those in a hurry have already left."

"Save your pearls of wisdom
This place doesn't lack them."

And the most important one is,

"One day you'll die,
and everything will be fine."

So what exactly are you
being arrogant about?

- But this--
- I don't feel it. I'll explain.

This guy…

- Eight hundred--
- What?

You should listen to good things too.
They're good for you.

I'm listening, but--

I want to see some conflict
in people, man!

This is the first time
you're not calling the shots.

But, paaji, this fearlessness…

I wish-- It comes so naturally to you.

Call it skill or stubbornness…

I wish I had that gift too!

Genuinely, Samdish, I love you, bro.

What matters to me is how
someone deals with their arrogance.

If a person's never tasted arrogance,
what could I possibly learn from him?

But if someone wrestles with their
own arrogance and still chooses humility,

- then maybe I can learn--
- No, he's explaining

how and why arrogance never got to him.

- That's what he's trying to say.
- You've got to listen.

- Yes.
- Alright, go ahead.

- Listen.
- Tell me.

There's a beautiful story
in the Mahabharata

called the "Yudhishthira-Yaksha Samvad."

One by one, the brothers reach the lake,

drink the water without answering
Yaksha's questions, and fall dead.

Finally, Yudhishthira arrives.
The Yaksha says, "Answer my questions."

Yudhishthira says, "Go ahead, ask."

The Yaksha asks many questions,
and the final one is,

"What is the greatest wonder
in the world?"

Yudhishthira replies,
"Every day, people die.

Every day, people are born.

Yet in between,
we live as if we're immortal.

- That's the greatest wonder of all."
- That's incredible.

Very nice!

Incredible!

What's going on?

Hello! Alpha, beta, gamma!
Govinda is my mama! Copy that!

Hello? Alpha, beta, gamma!
Govinda is your mama!

You don't need to say "copy that"

because the whole world knows
that you copy "that."

You copy that!

You copy that!

Copy that!

I'm at the location. Where are you?

I'm at the location too.

What is this nonsense?
You're standing right next to each other

and talking like
you're in separate places.

That's because we get separate paychecks.

Since all of you are here-- Namaste.

Firstly, let me clarify that
I only had two relationships in school.

Just two, no more.

- And you know Nawazuddin Siddiqui, right?
- Yes.

He stalks me on Instagram.

Also, I believe in aliens.

I think they're real.

Also, let me tell you, I'm just
a little jealous of Priyanka Chopra.

And the issue with my uncle and aunt

has been resolved.
There's no family drama anymore.

- Very good!
- Everything's sorted.

And I have a mole on my back.

And I do not like Kashmera at all.

- Why are you saying all this?
- Basically,

we've told you everything about our lives.

- You have.
- Now just insert your questions in between

- and make your podcast.
- Yes!

Okay?

- This is your real business, isn't it?
- It is.

Tell them your names as well.
Later, if someone asks them

who those crazy people were,
at least they will know your names.

Sir, I'm Security Officer Mona,

and she got here before me.

No, I'm Security Officer Sona,

- and she got here before me.
- Before you.

If you both got here first,
then who came later?

- Sidhu paaji.
- What…

Clap it up!

- Kaps, you better be careful today.
- Why?

- You're by yourself, they're four strong.
- Yes.

You plan to interview them for an hour,

but what if they end up interviewing you
for three hours and run off?

Hold on.

Watch out. Anything could happen.

She's right.
Especially this guy right here.

- This one.
- Dwivedi ji?

Yes. Aamir Khan ji went to him

- to promote a two-and-a-half-hour film.
- Okay.

This guy managed to pull off
a five-hour interview!

- That's true.
- Five hours!

- Who even does that?
- I do.

Did you even go to his house to check?

Why? What happened?

Nothing. I'm just saying,
go check out his living room,

kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom.

He's built a great place
with amazing interior design.

- Sure, I will.
- You should.

Kiku!

Forget the interiors.
Check out his exteriors--

Why can't you stay in one place?

Stay in one place!

I loved your work in Badhaai Ho.

Wasn't he the one who recited a poem
to Neena Gupta?

- Doesn't he look a lot like Gajraj Rao?
- Nonsense!

- True!
- That's true!

Sir, we'll need to conduct
a security check now.

- Yes.
- Yes.

Everyone knows it's always ladies first.

- Oh my God!
- So, Samdish, come with us.

Hey!

Why are you picking Samdish
if it's ladies first?

I'm a lady,
and my first choice is Samdish.

- So, ladies first.
- Yeah!

- Hello, hi.
- You look very cute.

- Thank you so much.
- He looks good.

Like Harry Potter from Borivali.

Oh, man!

I've even watched your video with Chadha.

Say the full thing.
Raghav Chadha's video.

"That video with Chadha" sounds wrong!

Same thing.

She's trying to be "unfiltered"
with the man himself.

I think we should check him thoroughly.

- Really?
- I have a suspicion.

He has this allopathy vibe…

- Allopathy?
- but his name feels Ayurvedic.

Like a herbal remedy.

- "Samdish."
- You're right.

Even the ad would be wild.

"Mash some Samdish leaves
and rub them on Grandpa's creaky knees."

"Forget walking.
Grandpa would take off like a sprinter!"

- Even his clothes are the color of leaves.
- Oh God!

- Come here.
- Move those branches.

- Like this.
- Branches?

- Branches!
- Hands behind your back.

- Let's start a third-degree check.
- Yes.

Third-degree?

Let's begin.

Hey!

- Hold on!
- Hey!

- What kind of checking is this?
- Wait! Hold on a minute!

What kind of checking is this?

- We are--
- What's going on?

We are testing his courage.

He keeps saying in his podcast,
"I don't fear anyone.

I ask what I want."

- Unfiltered.
- Because…

Because I once heard a great man say,

"Courage is not the absence of fear."

- "It is the…"
- Conquest of fear!

Yeah!

- You really--
- Be careful.

Last time she ran off like that,

she broke our set
and landed up on Rana Naidu's shoot.

Why did you stop?
That felt good

There was no need to upset her.
Don't be upset.

- Bhai…
- Go ahead.

You'll have to kiss her.
That's the only way to cheer her up.

I won't say yes unless you tell me
where I'm supposed to kiss.

- Everywhere. You-- Just try.
- Hold up. What?

- You think--
- How can I do that?

You think a kiss will fix my mood?

Fine, forget about him.

Let's talk to Mother-in-law Dwivedi.

- Mother-in-law?
- He's not Mother-in-law.

His name is Saurabh Dwivedi.

Well, he acts like one.
Always passing gossip.

He…

He bounces gossip
from one place to another.

- Haven't you seen his podcast?
- I have.

Come here, sir.
Let's finish your security check.

- Oh my God, Saurabh!
- Your turn. Come here.

Come here, sir.
We didn't even spare Salman Khan.

- Want to hear a clean joke?
- Go ahead.

You're gonna tell it anyway.

Okay, so once--
I'll tell you the elephant-ant joke.

- Okay.
- Here it goes.

Once there was an ant.

You know, those tiny little things?

- Yes, of course.
- Okay.

- And then--
- And then there was an elephant.

Big trunk, tail at the back, really heavy.

If you go to South Africa,
they're even bigger.

In Tanzania, bigger still.

But if you visit Czechoslovakia,
they're a bit slimmer.

- And their tails--
- What is this?

Can you just skip the intro
and get to the joke?

- She's listing elephants now…
- Don't blame us. Ask him.

Why do his podcast introductions
take forever?

You got him there!

Why don't you just say,
"Here's our guest"?

It's no surprise to us either!

People show up clean-shaven
for the interview,

and by the time you're done with
the intro, they've got a full stubble!

Both of you should get moving too.
Even your stubble grows fast!

Alright then.

- Okay.
- Bye.

Bye. Let's go.

- See you.
- Bye.

One of the earliest habits
our parents drilled into us

- was not talking while eating.
- Yes.

If Kamiya had actually lived by those
words, she would have lost a fortune!

People usually print their company logo
on a business card,

but you've named your entire show
after your hair. Curly Tales.

- Yes.
- On her curls.

I've asked you before,

do you curl your hair every morning,
or is it naturally like that?

No, that's not what you asked.
You asked if my kundal…

- Right, you also call them kundal.
- Kundal.

She burst out laughing when I said
"kundal," and I didn't get why.

Then I realized she's a girl from Bandra.
I should've just called them curls.

So the curls in your hair…

- Yeah?
- are they natural?

- Completely natural.
- That's sweet.

Saurabh bhai never asks a question

that could get him in trouble.

But then again, he can afford to as he
has a 60-member team backing him.

How do you manage to ask
such questions, Samdish?

- When he's by himself.
- You're on your own every time.

- And you go to film at their place.
- To answer that--

And you even throw your leg up
on their sofa.

Yeah, he gets super comfortable.
Even leaves dirt on it.

The guest must be thinking,
"Is this even my house or…"

- Yes.
- In one of my interviews,

Nawaz bhai actually started
breaking lights in his own house.

I mean, for me--

Kapil bhai, you get it.
For me, it's all improv.

Two people improvising together.

And that can go in any direction.

And if I'm doing that with a politician,

sitting in the home
or on the lawn of a big politician,

asking the questions
I really want to ask…

I feel truly grateful
to be able to do all that.

So if someone ever chases me
with a chair--

I've been threatened on camera too.

- Seriously?
- Yes.

- I haven't seen that one.
- I mean, he said it like a joke.

I didn't take it as a threat.

But after reading the comments,

I started to think
maybe he really was threatening me.

For me, you know--

Kaps, I know no one's going to beat me up
while the camera's rolling.

And the second the camera cuts,
I'm outta there!

I'm outta there!

And you asked if any politician

- ever reacted after an interview…
- Yes.

So right after I interviewed
a chief minister once,

he got really upset about the questions.

- Name?
- And he--

- You've interviewed him too.
- Name?

Come on, figure it out.
You've only done three.

So, this happened twice.

The CM had been in office for five years.

Obviously, if you're in the chair,
you're expected to answer tough questions.

- Yes.
- The Lallantop represents the youth,

so we mostly ask questions
that young people care about.

All through the interview,
he kept throwing angry looks

- Oh!
- at his PR and media teams.

As soon as we wrapped up,
our first concern was the memory card.

I immediately sent someone off with it
to make sure the footage was safe.

- We could always leave later.
- Wow.

Then there was another time

when I was interviewing a mafia figure
who was running in the elections.

I asked him one question after another.

"What happened in this case?"
"You opened fire here."

"You used a fake vehicle there."

He kept getting more and more agitated.

As soon as the interview ended--
I'm with a reporter.

He turned to the cameraperson and asked,
"How many people were watching this live?"

- He said, "Sir, seventy thousand."
- Oh.

The politician said,
"Wait, this was live?"

I said, "Yes, it was live.
Seventy thousand people were watching."

He replied, "Okay then, never mind."

They packed up and left.

Later, one of his people called,

"Sir, we can't find the live link.
It hasn't been posted anywhere."

We said we streamed it live.

But truthfully, we lied about it
being live just to save our lives!

My God!

I've seen it with Raj too.
Raj asks his guests such pointed questions

that something newsworthy
always emerges,

either through the framing
of the question

or the choice of the guest,
who is controversial.

Has it ever happened, Raj,
that you went to someone's house

for an interview
and had a question in mind,

but then you looked at their mansion,
saw how far the main gate was,

eight guards on the way,

the railway station far off,

and decided to ask something else instead?

Something happened once at our studio.

We had a shoot at four in the morning

because the guest said they had a flight

and could only come then.

- Okay.
- So he arrived at four.

I had sent the entire team away.
It was just me,

- two videographers, and the guest.
- Okay.

The guest came, sat down,
and we started talking.

I asked him, "Can I ask you anything?"

"Yes, go ahead."

- "Ask whatever you want."
- Then?

Then I noticed…

six men standing off to the side,
all armed.

- Oh my God.
- His security detail.

My heart started racing.

No one from my team

- was around to step out and call for help.
- Even if they had been there,

no team stands a chance against guns.

That's why I keep 60 to 70 people with me.

- Now that seems like a good idea.
- Extremely.

Raj, you interview so many
CEOs, CAs, etc.

What is the weirdest DM you've received
after an interview is over?

Like someone instructing you--

- Some weird DM.
- No, I--

Usually, the guests are upfront about
what they're comfortable discussing

and what they'd rather avoid.

You can tell
just by looking at their face.

- I see.
- So when someone's offended,

we know exactly how to handle them.

We never answer their calls.

And when we sense
someone could be problematic,

we quietly drop the episode overnight!

- I thought as much! Release it overnight!
- Nice, man! Nice!

- That's the best.
- Release it in 24 hours, and you're done.

By the time they--

By the time they get home and start
second-guessing what they said…

- It's public!
- it's already live!

My objective is pretty simple.

I want to learn something from you.

It could be about your failure,
your success story,

your health, wealth, relationships,
or even your country.

- I just want to learn.
- They might wonder,

"Why must we pay the price
for your learning?"

- Well, I--
- They'd want to ask you that.

That's where the real lessons come from.

You know, Samdish looks mischievous,
and he totally is.

But he actually has
deep political knowledge.

And everyone knows about Saurabh bhai.

I'd like to ask both of you something.

You interview some
high-profile politicians.

They know you speak
with great fluency and skill.

Didn’t anyone ever tell you
to join their party and run for elections?

I'm just waiting for my Rajya Sabha
invite to arrive!

Straightforward. He's clear about it.

- He wants to go to Rajya Sabha.
- I'm very clear--

No, I-- Now I'll speak.

If I get a Rajya Sabha membership…

Membership? You make it
sound like joining a gym!

- You have to work there.
- Yes!

- Have you received such an offer, bhai?
- Yes.

Several people from different
political ideologies

have urged me to enter politics,
but to me,

saving the last few tigers
and journalists in the country

feels like a greater priority.

So…

Well said!

We'll be glad if you ever choose
to expand your horizons.

No. Parliament is often
referred to as the temple of democracy.

That’s where our lawmakers sit.

And I hope that whoever sits there--

The faith is enormous.

For these 1.4 billion people,

they're nothing short of guardians.

If our leaders are reminded each day

of the countless hopeful eyes
watching them,

and they truly hold onto that thought,
a lot could change.

Okay, let's get back to what
keeps the business going.

Some of your fans--

Our audience always
gets this opportunity from us.

I'd really like to hear your take.
So, tell me…

What type of content
do you genuinely enjoy?

Go ahead and put your thoughts out there.

Yes, ma'am? Please give her a mic.

- Hello, everyone. Hello, Kapil.
- Hello, ma'am. Welcome.

My name is Atika.

I'm here from the US.
Austin, Texas.

- For the show?
- You've come to Mumbai for a vacation?

No, I'm here to see you.

- No way. Seriously?
- My husband-- No. I'm serious.

- Wow!
- This is our third year in a row here,

and I kept telling him,
"I want to be on the show!"

Thank you so much
that we could make it this time.

Oh, thank you so much, ma'am.

The content I'd like to watch
is a good saas-bahu drama.

When there are two women in one house,

- clashes are bound to happen.
- Yes.

- I'm a Punjabi.
- Okay.

I married into a Jain family.

- They don't eat onions and garlic.
- I see.

My point is, all of that
has to be in my food!

- Yes.
- I can't do without it.

My mother-in-law doesn't approve of it.

You want onions and garlic.
Mother-in-law?

Just let her have onions and garlic.

Well, I try my best to keep
my daughter-in-law happy.

That's why I've started
cooking with onions and garlic.

I'm the one who cooks.

But she just doesn't enjoy the food.

Putting cooking aside,
how's everything else going?

Everything's good, but I also
need my husband’s support.

- Am I right?
- Husband?

What do you want him to do?
Cut onions for you?

Your mother-in-law cooks for you--
How are you doing, Mr. Husband?

As you can see,
I’m at a crossroads here.

I've got my wife on one side
and my mom on the other.

The truth is, a man ends up sandwiched
between his mother and his wife!

It's true.

There's something
I want to tell you, Kapil ji.

- Go ahead.
- She can use all the onions and garlic

she wants,

- but my mom's cooking…
- Oh my goodness!

Goodness!

Jokes apart.

One is the woman
who brought you into this world,

and the other is the one who
chose to make you her world.

Your wife.

And you're fortunate that
both of them have a good relationship.

Jokes aside…

- but this--
- But this is Kapil Sharma's show.

- Yeah, well…
- That's also a talent, bhai!

Finding a serious angle in everything.

I agree! I agree!

I don't know why, but it feels like your
room always has an incense stick burning.

It's as if there's a glow surrounding him.

Saurabh ji, I just want to say that

I'm beginning to realize
why I enjoy her food more.

Because she's my very first ustad.

But keep in mind

you can't mess with the teacher just
because the principal's got your back.

She's the one you have to face daily.

Thank you for being
on the show, Jain sahab.

What a lovely family! Thank you!

Is there anyone else who'd like
to weigh in? Yes, bhaisahab?

Sir, this is my first time here.

That's okay.
It's the first time for a lot of people.

Sir, what's your name?

Is your belt loose?
Are your pants sliding down?

I've been sitting for a while now. So…

All of us have been
sitting for a while now.

- My name is Naresh Singh.
- Okay.

I'm from Asalkheri in Rajasthan.

It's around Churu district.

I love watching animal videos.

So, I've started doing animal impressions.

- I've been doing it for years now.
- You must enjoy watching their videos.

I'm very fond of dogs.

He said he's fond of dogs,

and that got me wondering,
"Why is he on our show then?"

It's really nice that
you love animals, sir.

Which animal voices do you do?

Dogs, cats, sheep, goats…

- cows, buffaloes…
- Sheep? I've never heard a sheep.

- Sheep--
- I've never interacted with one.

Never got the chance.

Let me do that first.

- Go ahead!
- A herd of sheep and goats is passing by.

Suddenly, the goat starts bleating.

Okay.

What kind of animal videos does he watch?

Looks like that sheep's got jaundice.

You know…

Here's one thing I noticed.

A goat was walking with the herd,

and suddenly, I don't know
what happened, but it went like…

Why do goats do that?

I'm asking you since you
watch so many animal videos.

See how grown men come here
and turn into kids for a while?

What other animals besides sheep?

Buffalo. Let's hear your buffalo sound.

Saurabh must be thinking

we went from talking about
the nation's politics, nature,

- and India's cultural diversity…
- Money!

straight to sheep!

That's just how we roll.
Jumping from one topic to another!

What animal was that?

That was a buffalo.

He might even try showing you
what a fish sounds like!

Dogs are my favorite.
Let me show you my dog impression.

- My favorite too. Go ahead.
- Go ahead, bark!

Let me show you how dogs howl at night.

Yeah!

That was nice!

Good one!

Yeah!

You're too good.
It's a pleasure meeting you.

Look, some things have no real purpose.

Since we've all got an expiry date,
we might as well make it a fun story.

And whatever you did here today,

it left everyone smiling.

Thank you, Naresh ji.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Pass the mic to the lady behind.
She wants to say something.

My name is Nidhi Vishwamitra.
I'm from Himachal Pradesh.

Yes, Nidhi.

I was diagnosed with cancer last year.

But by God's grace,
I'm absolutely fine now.

- I'm healthy.
- Beautiful.

God bless you.

Kapil ji, you know, when I was
undergoing chemotherapy last year,

I'd just look forward
to your show every weekend

- because it brought me so much joy.
- Wonderful!

- I'm being very honest. I loved it.
- God bless you, Nidhi.

I went bald. I used to have
such long hair. And…

I was sad during that time.

But eventually, I made peace with
it all and tried to find joy again.

I found so much happiness
in watching your show.

Thank you so much. Please keep
smiling and spreading laughter.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you, Nidhi.

Let go of all your fears.
Just trust God completely.

You'll live the life that's destined
for you. Let go of the stress.

God bless you, Nidhi.

I imagine a lot of people
are facing the same news right now.

But when they hear your words

and watch you smile and laugh,

I hope it gives them
a fresh sense of hope.

- Thank you so much for coming, Nidhi.
- Thank you so much.

EVERY FUNNYDAY
OUR FAMILY GROWS THE HAPPY WAY

Oh, okay.

You people are here. Good, good.

Here you go, sir.
I have photocopied your papers.

And…

One minute. Hello.

- Yes.
- Here's your roll.

You wanted a paneer roll, right?

Okay. Here you go.

You wanted a veg roll. Here it is.

Aunty, I'll drop by your place
in the morning to apply the henna.

Okay, son.

Here's your veg roll. Thank you.

- Thank you.
- You guys can sit there and eat. Okay?

Sit, sit. Please sit.

Thank you. Thank you.
Okay? Thank you.

Oh, man.

Engineer sahab,
who were these people that came with you?

They were my YouTube followers.

I have started a YouTube channel.

They are my organic subscribers.

Why were you offering them food?

I only do it so they don't unsubscribe.

I barely have four subscribers.

If I can't even make them happy,
then what am I even doing?

Fair enough.

Oh, wow!

- Sit.
- What a day!

Come, sit here.

Interviewers hanging out
with fellow interviewers!

Who's giving the answers here?

This is good.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Hi.

- How are you doing?
- All good.

You all are avid readers, right? I…

Even you-- I also love reading.

- You read?
- Yes, I'm very passionate about it.

- Which book have you read?
- While trying to read,

I ended up eating 216 bhelpuris.

Oh God!

What's reading got to do with bhelpuri?

The seller used a page
from a novel to wrap the bhelpuri.

- I see.
- The novel's genre was suspense.

That made me curious.

I read one and I wanted
to know what happened next.

I asked him to give me
the next page.

He refused and said that
I'd have to buy a bhelpuri.

I see!

By the time I hit page 216, I found out

the murdered person is still alive!

- Oh God!
- Okay.

All that reading was for nothing!

What type of content
do you create on YouTube?

My videos on YouTube-- It's a vlog.

- Okay.
- Alright.

Watch my vlog. Even I have a channel
on YouTube. Give it a watch.

You'll have a great time
watching that vlog.

- What happens in it?
- There's a very good video…

"1 Million." You all should watch it.

- "1 Million"?
- You have one million views on your vlog?

Not views!

"1 Million" is the title.

- Oh!
- Okay.

It has just four views.

- Four views!
- The four people who tagged along.

- Okay.
- Yes.

I have it-- I can show it to you.
I hope you'll love it.

- Show us the video you made.
- Play the vlog titled "1 Million."

Yes, let's see.

"1 Million--"

- It's called "1 Million."
- That's the title.

Hello, guys. As you can see,
I have two vada pavs in my hand.

Please tell me in the comments
which vada pav I should eat first.

- A or B?
- It's good!

- This is A, and this is B.
- It's good. It's a really good vlog.

Thank you, guys.

This is the next one.
Watch the vlog titled "Filmstar Spotting."

"Filmstar."

Guys, I just saw a film star here.

Let me go and secretly record a video.
Please don't interrupt, alright?

Okay?

- Hello, sir.
- Move, man!

- Sir, one photo, please.
- Get lost!

- Sir, one photo. Please! Sir.
- Scram!

The camera!

Guys, as you all--
Oh, sorry.

I forgot to flip the camera.

But you must have heard his voice.

Okay, guys. That's all for today.

This is called "Food Vlog."

- Kamiya ji.
- Really?

Guys, as you can see,
someone had their pizza

and kept the leftovers here.

But don't worry, guys.

I will show you
how you can reuse this pizza.

Let me show you.

Look, guys, this is the slice.

Now, friends, we will--

- Reuse it?
- We'll grab a pair of scissors.

Make sure they're sharp.

Now all you have to do is
cut the slice like this.

So, friends,
your pizza is all fresh to eat now.

Amazing!

I'll try this.

- This one's called "Skin Care Vlog."
- Skincare!

Guys, as you all can see…

- I've got a pimple right here.
- Oh God!

- Here's one, and here's another.
- No, no!

Please tell me in the comments
which pimple I should burst first.

A or B?

Pimple A or B?
Let me know in the comments.

That's all for today, guys.
Thank you.

Be safe.

Videos like these--

You'd get slapped a thousand times
for making these!

Nobody beat you up yet?

They belong in the trash, and you
actually uploaded them to YouTube?!

Is that bird dropping on you
from a pigeon or a sparrow?

There are marks all over.
On the collar and--

I'm no expert to tell
male and female droppings apart.

Or whether it's a pigeon or a sparrow.

When the droppings fall,
I just say, "Oh, shit!"

That's all. Just a minute.
I'll get a bit comfortable.

Are you guys comfortable?

- Yes, very comfortable.
- Just a second, I'll relax a bit.

Give me a moment, please.

Love it! No more stress!

- Oh my God!
- Do you have snacks with it?

You're only concerned
about the food, right?

- Here you go.
- That's more like it!

- Kapil didn't offer us anything to eat.
- Will you have some?

No, no.

I just ask girls.
I know guys drink anyway.

I'm good with just this.

You've got curly hair,
and I've got early hair. Look.

What do you mean by "early hair"?

- As in, they came early and left early.
- Left early.

I think we--
If you do a podcast with me…

- even you'll benefit from it.
- What kind of benefit?

My followers will become yours.

Four?

- Not four.
- Four followers!

It'll be a big deal for him worldwide
if those four join, right?

- That--
- Not four followers, just three.

- Why?
- The grandmother who came along?

I'm not so sure about her.

You see, her daughter

operates her account from Kenya.
She's got a long list of conditions.

So, leave her out.
The other three are confirmed.

- Three!
- Those three will join.

It's a lot of work.

You can't just walk in
and expect the podcast to be recorded.

- I'm all set. All set…
- It's more than just setting up…

I'll make the preparations, Sharma ji.

- I don't hold back on getting ready.
- He's really opening up now!

- He's got his guard down.
- Come on, Sharma ji…

- Just a minute.
- Now he's in his element.

- My preparation…
- There! He's dropping his guard.

- What's this?
- Prepping for the podcast.

With this?

- One second.
- Oh, he's setting up his close-up…

- I see!
- This one's for the questions.

- This one's for the answers.
- Superb! Excellent idea!

Wow!

One man army! That's more like it!

So, friends,
let's start with the interview.

First of all, we have with us today--

Saurabh ji, ask away.
Ask me something about literature.

Which was your favorite book?

You have asked a very strong question.

Tone it down with water.
Ask an easy one.

You know, you-- Look.

Drinkers don't wait for a reason!

No, no.

No, man! Just begin with your podcast!

- Have some--
- You gulped down the podcast!

Look at him!

You are an extraordinary engineer.

This is the most masterful mic work

I've ever witnessed.

I've got a knack for it.

But, it's alright if you have a question--

Samdish ji, do one thing,

- you ask me a question.
- Sure.

An unfiltered question.

I'm figuring it out for you. One second.

You can ask me about…

- Babli--
- Do you have a favorite topic?

Yes, I do.

- Okay.
- Like why Babli and I didn't marry.

When did you meet Babli
for the first time?

No personal questions, please.

- You've gotten a little too comfortable!
- I have another question.

Does Babli know about you?

No personal questions, please.
I… I'll tell you why.

Because no one can talk about Babli.

Babli's married now
and she is the mom of three husbands.

You mean a mom of three kids?

No, her kids have become husbands now.
They've grown up.

- Yes.
- I see.

- What was Babli's age?
- No more.

No more?

- I'm sorry, I wasn't aware.
- No, no! No more questions!

Personal questions.

She lives close by,
just down the back alley.

- I see.
- You can go and see Babli.

Your mic's slowly changing its direction.

Never mind.
I'll have to take your leave now.

I've got the night shift tonight.
I'll be working late.

You're planning to work drunk?

It's the night shift.
I'll go and sleep anyway.

Okay then, I'll get going.

Okay, sir. I'll take your leave.

Hopefully,
we'll get to collaborate sometime.

Of course. Definitely.

- It was a pleasure meeting you, sir.
- Pleasure.

Your podcast is still live.

Sir.

Your channel's really gone off the rails.

- That's alright…
- Take this bag, shove your channel in it.

Okay, I'll…

You forgot to take this.

You want some?

- You've had your eye on it.
- No way. I…

Friends, let's give a huge round
of applause to our guests.

We had such fun conversations,
lots of jokes and laughter,

and even some motivational talks.

Had an absolute blast.
Thank you so much, guys!

- Thank you.
- A big thank you to you as well!

- Thank you, sir. Thank you.
- A heartfelt thank you to each of you

- for joining us on our show.
- Kapil, we had a question.

Many top celebrities
have graced this show.

Shah Rukh Khan. Salman Khan.

Did you ever imagine you'd end up
putting up with all of us one day?

No, I-- I've told you plenty of times
that you're my favorite.

But you--
I wasn't aware that you're married.

- Oh, so you cut that part out.
- But you were well aware

that you are married!

No one forgets that!

Fancy one?

A big round of applause for our guests!

Thank you! Thank you so much!

Thank you.

Huge thanks for showering the show
with so much love all these years

and for making this evening
a memorable one.

Thank you so much.

So, friends, that's all for today.

We'll see you again next Saturday,
with some new guests.

Until then, stay happy and keep watching
The Great Indian Kapil Show.

Every Funnyday our family will grow
the happy way, only on Netflix.

Good night. Take care.
Thank you.

Please welcome the incredibly talented
and beautiful Parineeti Chopra,

and the youngest MP in Rajya Sabha,
Mr. Raghav Chadha!

Did you take a vow
that if you got to marry Pari,

you'd walk barefoot onto Kapil's show?

I was just sitting backstage,
and someone stole my shoes!

- Jiju! Jiju!
- Jiju! Jiju!

Jiju, you must give us a gift.

They're trying to get money
out of a politician's pocket!

When did you guys first meet?

We first met in London.

The moment our meeting ended,
she opened her laptop and searched…

"Raghav Chadha's height."

Well, I'm a tall guy!

What's tougher? Winning an election,
or winning your wife's heart?

You have to win an election
once every five years,

but you have to win
your wife's heart every hour.

To win your wife's heart. True.

A guy can always switch political parties.
Right, paaji?

Politics is the biggest mistress of all.

Why didn't you tell me this before?
Google never mentioned any of it.

You're really fanning the flames here!

My body feels all kinds of sensations,
and these pills keep them in check.

What kind of sensations?

Tingling, buzzing, tickling, dizziness,

fluttering, trembling, shivering,
heaviness, restlessness, quivering.

She says one thing,
and the exact opposite happens.

She once said, "I will never
ever marry a politician."

She married one.

Now every morning, I make her say,

"Raghav Chadha will never ever
become the Prime Minister of India."

The opposite will happen.