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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,770 Hey, baby. How you doing? 2 00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:34,630 Great. I can see the whole universe. 3 00:02:35,630 --> 00:02:37,550 Really? Let me have a look. 4 00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:40,990 Come on. Scoot over. Let me take a look out here. 5 00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:43,950 Wow. 6 00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:48,370 Look at that. 7 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:53,910 Oh, I can see right into Cindy Miller's bedroom window from here. 8 00:02:54,610 --> 00:02:56,290 Wow. This is great. Hey. 9 00:02:57,550 --> 00:02:58,870 He's getting naked. 10 00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:01,710 Mama. 11 00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:07,510 That is not what this is about, Gary. 12 00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:11,950 Hey, I was just kidding, Kim. Come on, you know. 13 00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:13,330 Is that so? 14 00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:19,990 That is so. Besides, the only heavenly bodies I'm interested in examining are 15 00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:21,370 these babies. 16 00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:26,190 Ladder. Aren't you done enough studying for one night? 17 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,090 Maybe. 18 00:03:28,430 --> 00:03:32,550 The thing is, I'm failing almost every class this semester, and I don't want 19 00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:35,070 astronomy to be the last nail in my celestial coffin. 20 00:03:35,630 --> 00:03:37,090 You're not going to fail. 21 00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:40,110 I can see it in the stars. 22 00:03:40,830 --> 00:03:47,650 Really? Well, you told me the same thing when you had me watch 23 00:03:47,650 --> 00:03:50,230 Hercules and the Mole People from my report on ancient Rome. 24 00:03:50,470 --> 00:03:55,700 Hey. I still feel that that movie was as historically accurate as any of those 25 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:56,700 old books could have been. 26 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,440 There were a lot of sweaty muscle guys in it. 27 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:06,560 Exactly. Besides, what do those teachers know? Just a bunch of old farts. 28 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,100 No sense of humor. 29 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,620 And they don't get laid. 30 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:11,559 That's true. 31 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,560 What do they know? 32 00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:14,620 Not a damn thing. 33 00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:17,120 Now, sex. 34 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,279 There's some homework I think you can excel at. 35 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:22,670 Why don't I show you what I learned last night? 36 00:09:03,579 --> 00:09:04,780 yesterday. Oh, yeah? 37 00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:06,400 What kind of grade do you give me? 38 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,400 Well, I probably give you an A. 39 00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:11,800 Yeah? Yeah. Well, I got some A. 40 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:39,870 Yes, Lydia? 41 00:09:39,950 --> 00:09:43,130 There's an incoming transmission for you on the telecommunicator. 42 00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:45,030 Thank you. 43 00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:48,370 This is Queen Morgana. 44 00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:49,850 Connect me. 45 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,560 Commander Dano, I have contact with Halos in 30 seconds. 46 00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:16,260 I'm on my way. 47 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,800 How long do you have contact? 48 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:31,760 Just a minute or so. 49 00:10:32,020 --> 00:10:33,020 Good. 50 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,480 This is Commander Dano of the Phalanx. 51 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,240 Good evening, Commander. 52 00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:38,960 This is Queen Morgana. 53 00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:40,710 What news have you brought me? 54 00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:42,090 Oh, good news, your highness. 55 00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:46,290 We have just passed the outer edges of the galaxy, and we will be at our final 56 00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:48,370 destination within a couple of hours. 57 00:10:49,110 --> 00:10:51,670 Excellent. Everyone well aboard the phallus? 58 00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:55,150 Just a little tired, but it's been a long voyage. 59 00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:56,950 But well worth it. 60 00:10:57,270 --> 00:11:02,790 Your mission's success is vital to every woman on Aquaterra. We understand that. 61 00:11:02,970 --> 00:11:06,950 And we are prepared to sacrifice our very lives if need be. 62 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,480 to make the population of Aqua Terra go on. 63 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,880 I trust that's not necessary. 64 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,940 You have your instructions. 65 00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:18,080 As soon as this transmission has ended, you may open them. 66 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,660 They are quite clear. 67 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,200 Understood. One last thing, Commander. 68 00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:25,680 Please don't get your emotions involved with this mission. 69 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:31,280 Remember, Aqua Terra is a planet of women who love other women. 70 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,740 Please keep this in mind, and good luck. 71 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,600 Thank you. I will. 72 00:11:37,590 --> 00:11:39,230 Commander Dana, signing off. 73 00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:50,590 Can we open the instructions now? 74 00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:52,410 That's what the boss lady says. 75 00:12:36,110 --> 00:12:38,450 But this means... I know. 76 00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:45,250 We are instructed to make contact with male species of Earth, have vigorous 77 00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:50,710 sexual activity with them, and then bring the most potent specimen back to 78 00:12:50,710 --> 00:12:56,790 Aguaterra for Queen Morgana's breeding program. We have undertaken this mission 79 00:12:56,790 --> 00:13:02,610 every 20 years to ensure that the female population of Aguaterra continues into 80 00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:03,610 the future. 81 00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:07,530 But... I've never had sex with a man before. 82 00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:09,430 What is that like? 83 00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:14,070 They are disgustingly vile creatures who are absolutely worthless. 84 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:18,950 In fact, thinking of them touching me makes my skin crawl with cooties. 85 00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:23,150 By what means shall we gather the specimens? 86 00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,770 I have some educational videos we can watch. 87 00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:28,570 They should tell us everything. 88 00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:30,250 Come on, let's go. 89 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:51,960 It is a perilous mission that has to be made, but vital to our survival. 90 00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:54,600 Will they really have sex with men? 91 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,200 It's a sacrifice that has to be made. 92 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,500 What are their chances of survival? 93 00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:04,540 Good. But nobody ever returns from Earth unchanged. 94 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:10,720 They must surrender their body to preserve the life as we know and cherish 95 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,060 here on Aqua Terra. 96 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,340 They are so brave. 97 00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:14,780 Yes, they are. 98 00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:34,280 You wanted to see me, Professor Quaterman? 99 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,160 Miss Reed. 100 00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:42,360 Yes. I have been looking over your report on the misalignment of the Milky 101 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,080 Way during months with the letter R in them, and... 102 00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:46,790 Frankly, I'm quite surprised. 103 00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:53,030 Really? Yes, I am quite surprised that all of your pages are blank. 104 00:14:54,590 --> 00:15:00,590 Oh. I have no recourse but to fail you, Miss Reed, which I see is a clean sweep 105 00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:03,830 of all of the classes you've signed up to take at this university. 106 00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:06,030 Not a pretty sight, sir. 107 00:15:06,230 --> 00:15:08,190 No, it's not, Kim. Do you have any explanation? 108 00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:12,610 I have a learning disability. 109 00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:16,780 Really? I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about it? 110 00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:22,000 Well, I just can't seem to focus because all I can think about is sex. 111 00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:24,940 Sex? 112 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:27,960 Yeah, sex. 113 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,320 Day and night, night and day. 114 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,980 It's all-consuming. 115 00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:36,760 I'm having a hard time believing that, Kim. That's a little far-fetched, 116 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:37,760 wouldn't you say? 117 00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:39,180 No, sir. 118 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,640 Even if I sit here failing your wonderful class. 119 00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:53,210 I just can't help but think about how your hot, wet tongue would feel all 120 00:15:53,210 --> 00:15:55,150 over my heaving bosoms. 121 00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:58,610 Truly? Truly. 122 00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:04,630 I just wish there was something I could do to earn a little extra credit so that 123 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:08,470 my family wasn't completely crushed when I went home a total failure. 124 00:16:09,310 --> 00:16:12,550 If only there was something I could do. 125 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,020 Well, I could put you down for a little extra assignment. 126 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,440 Oh, sir, I'm ready to go down. 127 00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:44,329 Earth video. 128 00:21:44,330 --> 00:21:47,190 I felt like I should show you exactly what we're up against. 129 00:21:47,530 --> 00:21:50,730 I heard that Earth men actually eat their women. 130 00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:55,050 No, I think that's just a tale they tell children to scare them. 131 00:21:55,490 --> 00:21:57,070 One can only hope so. 132 00:21:58,710 --> 00:21:59,710 Observe. 133 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:02,750 The male species. 134 00:22:03,730 --> 00:22:04,730 Ew. 135 00:22:05,410 --> 00:22:07,430 They're not like women at all. 136 00:22:08,170 --> 00:22:09,770 How do they make love? 137 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:11,670 Well, they... 138 00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:19,930 What do they do with it? 139 00:22:20,310 --> 00:22:25,590 Well, they... No way! 140 00:22:25,910 --> 00:22:27,830 Where? You'll see. 141 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:32,080 Look at that pain she's experiencing. 142 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,340 Must be horrible. 143 00:26:58,220 --> 00:27:00,220 Yes, it's torture for sure. 144 00:27:00,820 --> 00:27:03,680 But you and I have been chosen to save our race. 145 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,840 So we must act as if we enjoy the invasion of our bodies if we are to 146 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:12,560 succeed. But what if no Earthman wants to have sex with us? 147 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:17,520 The computer calculates the chances of that as being one in a trillion. 148 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:19,920 Except in West Hollywood. 149 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:26,860 So, success is as good as ours. I can almost taste it. 150 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:31,840 But how do we blend in unnoticed among Earth people? 151 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,820 This is the uniform of the Earth female. 152 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,820 We will become what they are. 153 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,280 Come on, I'll show you. 154 00:28:10,670 --> 00:28:11,670 is the uniform. 155 00:28:13,550 --> 00:28:14,550 This? 156 00:28:15,850 --> 00:28:17,890 There's no place to conceal a weapon. 157 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:21,410 Well, I guess we'll just have to be inventive. 158 00:28:22,010 --> 00:28:26,650 Oh, you have the green one. Can I have the green one instead? It's my favorite 159 00:28:26,650 --> 00:28:28,050 color. Really? 160 00:28:28,830 --> 00:28:30,190 Please. You like green? 161 00:28:30,490 --> 00:28:31,890 Yes. Really? 162 00:28:32,490 --> 00:28:35,330 Please, Commander Dano, can I have the green? 163 00:28:35,770 --> 00:28:36,770 Hmm. 164 00:28:37,250 --> 00:28:38,250 Maybe. 165 00:28:40,170 --> 00:28:41,170 Bye. 166 00:30:16,330 --> 00:30:17,330 Okay. 167 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:48,920 Yeah. 168 00:33:55,340 --> 00:33:57,260 The transporter coordinates are ready to go. 169 00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:58,680 Ladies first. 170 00:34:00,540 --> 00:34:03,680 Are you sure about this? 171 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,360 I don't know. This is the first time. 172 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:28,760 What place is this? 173 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,080 I'm not sure. 174 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,159 Oh, look. 175 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:34,980 At least they have a map. 176 00:34:36,699 --> 00:34:37,699 Let's go. 177 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,080 The cotton. 178 00:35:01,870 --> 00:35:02,870 want to have sex? 179 00:35:04,590 --> 00:35:07,050 Maybe there's more to it than that. You think? 180 00:35:07,470 --> 00:35:10,410 Maybe. Hey, you want to get laid? 181 00:35:14,210 --> 00:35:16,630 Maybe there's more ritual to this than we thought. 182 00:35:17,890 --> 00:35:19,390 Maybe we should take it a little bit slower. 183 00:35:20,130 --> 00:35:25,790 Or maybe we should make contact with a female so that we have a knowledgeable 184 00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:27,450 ally in this strange new world. 185 00:35:28,310 --> 00:35:29,310 That's a good idea. 186 00:35:35,370 --> 00:35:38,530 At last, a solid B grade average. 187 00:35:39,550 --> 00:35:41,170 Well, that's it, Tana. 188 00:35:41,970 --> 00:35:42,970 Excuse me. 189 00:35:45,830 --> 00:35:47,970 We are your sisters from Aqua Terra. 190 00:35:48,330 --> 00:35:49,450 We need your help. 191 00:35:50,070 --> 00:35:52,250 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not in your sorority. 192 00:35:52,650 --> 00:35:55,110 We don't understand sorority. 193 00:35:55,490 --> 00:36:00,270 You know, that place where you two go to get paddled. It's really not my scene. 194 00:36:01,310 --> 00:36:03,450 So, is this part of your initiation? 195 00:36:03,910 --> 00:36:04,910 What? 196 00:36:05,420 --> 00:36:06,420 The bikinis? 197 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:08,600 God, who are you two? 198 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:10,600 This is Annie. 199 00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:11,700 I'm Dana. 200 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:13,480 Annie Dana. 201 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,320 Okay. 202 00:36:15,540 --> 00:36:17,300 I'm not even going to touch that one. 203 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,300 Where did you say you were from again? 204 00:36:19,620 --> 00:36:20,618 Aqua Terra. 205 00:36:20,620 --> 00:36:24,080 The ice planet in the fourth quadrant of the galaxy Zeta. 206 00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:27,360 We are things from another world. 207 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:29,920 Okay. Prove it. 208 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,760 Can we go somewhere more private? 209 00:36:37,870 --> 00:36:39,530 Yeah. It's good at my house. 210 00:36:39,950 --> 00:36:41,290 Class is done for the day. 211 00:36:41,990 --> 00:36:42,990 Okay. 212 00:36:45,010 --> 00:36:46,630 You know, I have a C average now. 213 00:36:48,350 --> 00:36:49,870 So, let me guess. 214 00:36:50,850 --> 00:36:52,970 You girls are from outer space. 215 00:36:53,370 --> 00:36:55,710 From a planet of all women and no men. 216 00:36:56,750 --> 00:37:03,730 And your mission here is to party down for a while and then take some 217 00:37:03,730 --> 00:37:05,830 of our finest bed muffins back to your... 218 00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:07,140 Lesbian planet. 219 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,660 And make him your love flick. 220 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:12,360 Do you read minds? 221 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:14,920 No. 222 00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:18,540 But I do read comic books. 223 00:37:19,140 --> 00:37:21,820 Issue 13 of Lost Planet Lesbos. 224 00:37:22,220 --> 00:37:23,220 Come on. 225 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,760 You're going to have to be more original than that. 226 00:37:28,020 --> 00:37:29,480 How can we convince you? 227 00:37:30,980 --> 00:37:32,600 I know. 228 00:37:32,900 --> 00:37:35,120 If you are intergalactic lesbian, 229 00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:40,920 Go down on me right now. 230 00:37:44,140 --> 00:37:48,760 That's against our directive. We may only expend vigorous sexual energy in 231 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,740 the pursuit of male potency. 232 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:57,800 But if you know of any male specimens... Still not 233 00:37:57,800 --> 00:37:58,800 convinced. 234 00:37:59,260 --> 00:38:00,880 But let me make a phone call. 235 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,580 Mr. Decker, we need to meet. 236 00:38:20,740 --> 00:38:21,740 30 minutes. 237 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,140 The usual place. 238 00:38:43,460 --> 00:38:44,460 Hold back. 239 00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:45,600 Decker? 240 00:38:46,860 --> 00:38:51,000 We've added dispatch indicating an unidentified flying object entered our 241 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,240 lunar airspace approximately 120 minutes ago. 242 00:38:54,860 --> 00:38:58,700 We have reason to believe the occupants of the craft have transported to the 243 00:38:58,700 --> 00:38:59,700 Melville area. 244 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,680 They may be within the school itself. 245 00:39:03,740 --> 00:39:05,420 Holy mother of God. 246 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:10,660 No, our lady of eternal vigilance. Great basketball team. Any news on the style 247 00:39:10,660 --> 00:39:11,660 or type of UFO? 248 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,100 Intelligence indicates. 249 00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:18,320 It may be from the outlying frozen planet Aquaterra. 250 00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:20,480 Planet of ice bitches. 251 00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:21,900 The same. 252 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,200 You have experience with them? 253 00:39:25,460 --> 00:39:28,520 I've had some experience, but I choose not to recall. 254 00:39:29,020 --> 00:39:30,700 Proceed with your usual caution. 255 00:39:31,460 --> 00:39:35,380 Let's find out what these cyber dykes are up to. 256 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:37,200 Affirmative. 257 00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:42,280 We have a contact within the school, Professor Quatermass, astronomer. 258 00:39:42,780 --> 00:39:44,400 He may be able to help. 259 00:39:46,380 --> 00:39:47,620 I understand, Commander. 260 00:39:48,900 --> 00:39:50,260 I await your report. 261 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:52,600 Copy that. 262 00:39:59,460 --> 00:40:03,440 So you say your planet is low on oil and you need a couple of quarts to get you 263 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:04,319 by? 264 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:05,320 Something like that. 265 00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:10,120 And we've never had sex with a man before, so we don't know what to do. 266 00:40:10,750 --> 00:40:13,570 Well, I think I can steer you in the right direction on that one. 267 00:40:13,830 --> 00:40:15,270 Hey, Kim, are you home? 268 00:40:15,650 --> 00:40:17,150 Hey, sweetheart, in the bedroom. 269 00:40:21,170 --> 00:40:22,350 Hello, ladies. 270 00:40:23,950 --> 00:40:27,770 This is Annie and Danao, and they're foreign exchange students from Sweden. 271 00:40:29,070 --> 00:40:30,130 From Sweden? 272 00:40:30,530 --> 00:40:32,050 Really? Yeah. 273 00:40:32,590 --> 00:40:36,890 They are here studying male sexuality, and I thought that maybe you could help 274 00:40:36,890 --> 00:40:38,470 them bone up on the subject. 275 00:40:39,100 --> 00:40:40,820 Hey, whatever I can do to help, right? 276 00:40:42,300 --> 00:40:49,280 Well, I've always had this fantasy about watching you with another woman. 277 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,920 And here are two, willing and ready to go. 278 00:40:53,980 --> 00:40:55,360 You've got to be kidding me. 279 00:40:56,020 --> 00:40:57,020 Nope. 280 00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:58,420 Just put on a good show. 281 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:02,900 I owe you one. 282 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:06,660 Hey, I owe you one. 283 00:41:08,590 --> 00:41:10,550 I owe you one. Half price. 284 00:41:12,230 --> 00:41:13,230 Whoa. 285 00:42:19,170 --> 00:42:20,170 What is it? 286 00:43:59,790 --> 00:44:00,790 Oh no! 287 00:44:59,500 --> 00:45:00,500 Work, work, work. 288 00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,120 That's all you seem to do lately. 289 00:45:02,940 --> 00:45:06,400 Astronomy, my dear Audrey, is not for the faint of heart. There's a lot more 290 00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,700 to it than stargazing through a telescope. 291 00:45:09,220 --> 00:45:14,320 Yeah, well, teaching 4-H isn't a bed of manure either, but I do manage to take a 292 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:15,320 lunch. 293 00:45:15,740 --> 00:45:19,260 As soon as I finish this report, I'm up for tenure very soon, and if I don't get 294 00:45:19,260 --> 00:45:21,160 published, it's going to be good by Columbo. 295 00:45:21,700 --> 00:45:27,080 Yeah, well, you know, a lot can be learned from watching Barnyard Animal, 296 00:45:27,260 --> 00:45:28,260 Professor. 297 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,800 Yes, but I already know how to run around with my head cut off. 298 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:33,680 No, no, silly. 299 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:41,220 It's that they don't beat around the bush when the desire to mate takes over 300 00:45:41,220 --> 00:45:43,040 them. Neither do you, apparently. 301 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,880 Thomas, pay attention to me. 302 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:48,800 Since you put them that way. 303 00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,400 Professor Quitterman? 304 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:00,400 I am Thomas Quatermass. 305 00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:02,340 Hobart sent me. 306 00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:05,440 Hobart. 307 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:08,000 Hobart. 308 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:10,220 Who's Hobart? 309 00:46:12,140 --> 00:46:14,380 Hobart! Oh, he's an old school chum. 310 00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:17,740 Is there some place that we can talk privately? 311 00:46:20,220 --> 00:46:21,220 Of course. 312 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:40,740 So if they really are from this all-girl planet like they say they are, this 313 00:46:40,740 --> 00:46:45,380 could be my chance to score big. Well, bigger. With Professor Quatermass 314 00:46:45,380 --> 00:46:48,420 ensuring my spot at this year's graduation. 315 00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:53,680 Just think of it. My own, honest-to-God, living alien project. 316 00:46:54,160 --> 00:47:00,960 Whoa, whoa. I mean, out of this world, but I'm not sure that 317 00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:05,500 exactly qualifies them as being real aliens. I mean... 318 00:47:06,730 --> 00:47:07,850 What kind of proof do you have? 319 00:47:08,330 --> 00:47:09,950 Well, that's the tough part. 320 00:47:10,210 --> 00:47:11,350 It's just their say-so. 321 00:47:12,070 --> 00:47:13,650 Thank you for the loan of the Earth clothes. 322 00:47:15,350 --> 00:47:16,350 No trouble. 323 00:47:16,490 --> 00:47:19,790 Hey, we were just talking about how we might be able to help you. 324 00:47:20,850 --> 00:47:22,050 Do you have other men? 325 00:47:23,310 --> 00:47:28,530 Well, not on me, but it would be easier to get some if there was some way we 326 00:47:28,530 --> 00:47:31,130 could actually convince people you were from outer space. 327 00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:45,360 That'll do it. 328 00:47:50,740 --> 00:47:53,660 Curtain controls that vibrator. 329 00:47:54,700 --> 00:47:55,800 Controls the world. 330 00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:11,420 Alien. Right here in the university. That doesn't seem possible. 331 00:48:11,780 --> 00:48:13,060 I don't believe it. 332 00:48:13,610 --> 00:48:17,850 Trust me, but the real mystery here is their whereabouts and their purpose on 333 00:48:17,850 --> 00:48:18,828 this planet. 334 00:48:18,830 --> 00:48:21,830 Well, if they really come from Aquanetta... Aquaterra. 335 00:48:22,810 --> 00:48:27,310 Aquaterra, as you say, a planet devoid of men. Then their purpose becomes 336 00:48:27,310 --> 00:48:28,310 painfully clear. 337 00:48:28,950 --> 00:48:33,490 Yeah, they're here looking for some prime breeding stock. 338 00:48:35,030 --> 00:48:36,750 Very astute, Miss Wagner. 339 00:48:37,130 --> 00:48:39,050 Yeah, well, I teach 4-H. 340 00:48:39,310 --> 00:48:40,310 Of course you do. 341 00:48:41,370 --> 00:48:42,810 If Audrey's right... 342 00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:44,880 And it's now a matter of tracking them down. 343 00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:50,560 They could be right now at this very minute on the campus, searching for 344 00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,380 strong, young, virile men. 345 00:48:52,660 --> 00:48:54,420 So keep your eyes open. 346 00:48:54,740 --> 00:48:56,160 Oh, I do. I do. 347 00:48:57,700 --> 00:48:58,700 Of course you do. 348 00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,460 Professor, here is my card. I want you to stay in touch. 349 00:49:05,420 --> 00:49:08,700 Unfortunately, Miss Wagner... You can call me Audrey. 350 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:11,300 Unfortunately, Miss Audrey... 351 00:49:11,660 --> 00:49:16,280 I have to erase your memory of the entire happenings here. It's required by 352 00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:17,280 rule. 353 00:49:17,380 --> 00:49:19,820 Damn. Is there someplace that we can go? 354 00:49:20,740 --> 00:49:21,780 Yes, over here. 355 00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,080 This is the dean's office. He's never around. 356 00:49:33,140 --> 00:49:35,000 I'm sorry about this, but you won't feel it. 357 00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:37,100 Yeah, I know. I saw the movie. 358 00:49:38,510 --> 00:49:41,230 It's a shame, really. Every time I meet someone interesting, I have to erase the 359 00:49:41,230 --> 00:49:44,390 entire contents of their memory. I go back to being a total stranger to them. 360 00:49:44,710 --> 00:49:48,590 Well, excuse me if I don't feel sorry for you, considering I am the white bee. 361 00:49:49,830 --> 00:49:53,010 Trust me, it's better this way. The world is not ready to accept alien 362 00:49:53,010 --> 00:49:55,570 lesbians using mankind at 6 a.m. 363 00:49:56,210 --> 00:49:59,810 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Plan 69 from Outer Space. 364 00:50:00,030 --> 00:50:01,390 Just go ahead. Blast me. 365 00:50:02,650 --> 00:50:03,650 Hold still. 366 00:50:09,770 --> 00:50:10,770 All right, Miss Wagner. 367 00:50:11,210 --> 00:50:12,670 Yeah, just a little dizzy. 368 00:50:14,650 --> 00:50:18,990 Do I know you? You struck your head on the metal piece. 369 00:50:19,610 --> 00:50:21,570 Yeah, I don't remember a thing. 370 00:50:23,490 --> 00:50:25,010 Are you my boyfriend? 371 00:50:26,550 --> 00:50:27,550 Maybe. 372 00:50:29,330 --> 00:50:31,630 Lucky me, you're a hunk. 373 00:50:32,850 --> 00:50:34,910 Are we about to have sex? 374 00:50:37,230 --> 00:50:38,230 Oh, yeah. 375 00:50:49,609 --> 00:50:51,990 Oh, Professor Quatermass, am I glad to see you. 376 00:50:52,370 --> 00:50:56,150 I can't give you any more extra credit today, Kim. I'm pretty busy right now. 377 00:50:56,430 --> 00:51:00,570 Listen, what would you say if I told you I had space aliens staying at my home? 378 00:51:02,390 --> 00:51:04,010 Are they lesbians? I think so. 379 00:51:04,940 --> 00:51:06,980 I'd say I'm very interested indeed. 380 00:51:07,380 --> 00:51:10,260 Well, hold on to your doctorate, because I've got news for you. 381 00:51:34,060 --> 00:51:37,960 Go preserve our specimen while I check in with Queen Morgana. He was very 382 00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:39,020 healthy, wasn't he? 383 00:51:41,100 --> 00:51:42,240 Don't remind me. 384 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:46,220 Oh, and don't spill any of that. Our whole planet depends on it. 385 00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:47,900 See you in ten. 386 00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:19,240 This is Queen Morgana. It's Commander Dana from the Farms. 387 00:52:19,780 --> 00:52:21,260 Excellent. Patch her through. 388 00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:26,980 This is Commander Dana. You have news for me. 389 00:52:27,420 --> 00:52:28,420 All goes well. 390 00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,880 We have made an ally among the Earth women, and we have started the 391 00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:32,880 collection process. 392 00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:36,600 Good. Do you anticipate a problem with achieving your goals? 393 00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:42,140 Not immediately, but I feel it would be advantageous if we collected a few live 394 00:52:42,140 --> 00:52:44,540 specimens to bring back to Aqua Terra for further production. 395 00:52:45,550 --> 00:52:51,590 We've never allowed a man on Aqua Terra, but under the right conditions, we might 396 00:52:51,590 --> 00:52:53,410 be able to contain them properly. 397 00:52:54,810 --> 00:52:56,170 Use your best judgment. 398 00:52:56,610 --> 00:52:57,610 Thank you. 399 00:52:57,710 --> 00:52:59,030 Commander Dana, signing off. 400 00:53:17,260 --> 00:53:21,500 Queen Morgana said that we can capture a few live male specimens and take them 401 00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:22,500 back to Aqua Terra. 402 00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,020 Well, we have the containment equipment required. 403 00:53:25,580 --> 00:53:30,060 All we have to do is find out which male specimens are the most formidable 404 00:53:30,060 --> 00:53:31,060 producers. 405 00:53:31,740 --> 00:53:34,220 Yeah, which means more and more sex. 406 00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:35,920 Men are like gas pumps. 407 00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:37,440 Fill her up, lady. 408 00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:42,360 Oh, well, it's a crummy job, but someone's got to do it. Well, I'm ready 409 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:44,420 to spread one for the team. 410 00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:46,910 You know? That's what I like about you, Annie. 411 00:53:47,110 --> 00:53:48,230 You've got guts. 412 00:53:48,670 --> 00:53:49,670 And hips. 413 00:53:49,850 --> 00:53:50,769 Thank you. 414 00:53:50,770 --> 00:53:51,910 That means a lot. 415 00:53:52,890 --> 00:53:53,890 Back to Earth? 416 00:53:57,990 --> 00:53:58,990 After you. 417 00:54:22,060 --> 00:54:26,620 So you say they're here to mate with the male of the species in order that they 418 00:54:26,620 --> 00:54:28,340 may repopulate their dwindling numbers. 419 00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:29,600 Yes. 420 00:54:30,220 --> 00:54:34,920 But how do they do it? How do they get the, you know, back on their planet? 421 00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:37,680 They force it out into a milk carton. 422 00:54:39,060 --> 00:54:40,140 Ew, that's disgusting. 423 00:54:40,420 --> 00:54:41,420 Are you sure? 424 00:54:41,580 --> 00:54:42,580 Sure, I'm sure. 425 00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:49,300 But how? 426 00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:52,120 I... Rather not talk about that. 427 00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:56,140 Hey, hey, look, man. Is this government guy even interested or what? 428 00:54:57,100 --> 00:54:58,360 I'm sure he is. 429 00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:01,200 But remember, it's my deal, my rule. 430 00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:02,560 Yes, of course. 431 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:06,600 But I haven't been able to locate him. I've left three messages on his cell 432 00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:08,120 phone, but no response. 433 00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:12,340 Look, let's just hope the girls get back here in time, or we're all going to look 434 00:55:12,340 --> 00:55:13,340 pretty foolish. 435 00:55:14,540 --> 00:55:17,520 I wonder, what's keeping him? 436 00:56:02,020 --> 00:56:03,020 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 437 00:58:05,050 --> 00:58:06,050 Let's go. 438 00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:35,160 Yes. 439 00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:30,480 Let's get to it. 440 00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:33,000 Oh, look, there. 441 00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,300 Hey, mister, do you want to have sex? 442 01:00:03,530 --> 01:00:04,570 That's where I first saw them. 443 01:00:05,510 --> 01:00:08,070 Perhaps that's where their landing coordinates are set. 444 01:00:08,550 --> 01:00:10,850 Hey, man, I say we just give it a try. 445 01:00:11,390 --> 01:00:12,390 You're right. 446 01:00:14,130 --> 01:00:15,130 Come on. 447 01:00:21,450 --> 01:00:23,590 Wow, that was swell. 448 01:00:24,430 --> 01:00:25,730 That was spectacular. 449 01:00:27,530 --> 01:00:30,010 Unfortunately, I'm going to have to erase the entire contents of your memory 450 01:00:30,010 --> 01:00:31,690 of this whole affair. Regulations, you understand. 451 01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:33,680 Come on. 452 01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:35,440 Can't you just wait a little while? 453 01:00:35,900 --> 01:00:37,840 Give me a minute to enjoy the moment. 454 01:00:39,300 --> 01:00:41,260 Well, just a little bit. 455 01:00:41,580 --> 01:00:44,520 But I'll be in big trouble at Men in Black headquarters if anything ever 456 01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:45,419 leaks out. 457 01:00:45,420 --> 01:00:46,319 Leaks out? 458 01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:47,920 Oh, don't worry. I have a pad. 459 01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:50,120 I know what you mean. 460 01:00:51,260 --> 01:00:52,420 Oh, right. 461 01:00:58,350 --> 01:01:01,370 Let's check my office first and see if Mr. Decker's returned any of my phone 462 01:01:01,370 --> 01:01:06,370 calls. And I'll search around and see if I can find them, maybe. Good idea, but 463 01:01:06,370 --> 01:01:10,450 no hanky-panky. Hey, what, are you getting jealous now? No, I just want 464 01:01:10,450 --> 01:01:11,550 there to be something left for me. 465 01:01:12,830 --> 01:01:13,830 No messages. 466 01:01:25,390 --> 01:01:26,510 Don't give up hope, Professor. 467 01:01:26,810 --> 01:01:28,690 They seemed really anxious to come back for a refill. 468 01:01:28,950 --> 01:01:32,670 So you say, but how do I know you haven't been playing me for a fool? 469 01:01:33,330 --> 01:01:35,150 And what would I have to gain by doing that? 470 01:01:35,430 --> 01:01:38,890 I haven't figured that part out yet, but you better just beware, young lady. 471 01:01:42,690 --> 01:01:44,490 Hey, it's about time. 472 01:01:44,930 --> 01:01:46,910 Sorry, we took a detour. 473 01:01:48,690 --> 01:01:51,950 But we managed to pick up a few men along the way. 474 01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:55,380 Oh, my God. It's Hanson. 475 01:01:55,760 --> 01:02:00,040 Yeah, now that they're over 21 and washed up, we found them singing for 476 01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:03,600 handouts at the homeless mission. It took a little convincing, but we won 477 01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:04,538 them over. 478 01:02:04,540 --> 01:02:09,140 Cool. Well, girls, this is Professor Quatermass. He's the astronomy teacher. 479 01:02:12,700 --> 01:02:14,080 So these are your maps? 480 01:02:14,860 --> 01:02:15,860 Yes, they are. 481 01:02:16,780 --> 01:02:17,860 You missed a spot. 482 01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:20,280 Apparently so. 483 01:02:24,270 --> 01:02:25,830 Care to visit Aguilera? 484 01:02:26,430 --> 01:02:27,430 What? 485 01:02:36,990 --> 01:02:37,990 That's incredible. 486 01:02:42,410 --> 01:02:45,450 Why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free? 487 01:02:48,490 --> 01:02:49,750 Hands up, and I throw it. 488 01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:54,960 Want to have sex? 489 01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:57,240 I'm not falling for that old bag. 490 01:02:57,700 --> 01:03:01,060 Can't walk, sir. Those vibrators are dangerous weapons. 491 01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:04,160 Wasn't born yesterday, kid. 492 01:03:04,380 --> 01:03:06,320 Get over there. Everybody get your hands up. 493 01:03:06,660 --> 01:03:08,800 Gary, they shrunk the professor. 494 01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:10,780 And Hanson. 495 01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:14,120 Never mind. 496 01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:19,860 We're not scared of your weapons, soldier boy. 497 01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:24,060 We were told your people might try something lame like this. 498 01:03:25,260 --> 01:03:28,300 What kind of evil, pathetic creature is that? 499 01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:32,340 The kind who knows how to bring you down to size, mister. 500 01:03:45,820 --> 01:03:47,880 Girls, don't. Please! 501 01:03:59,050 --> 01:03:59,529 Sorry, Kim. 502 01:03:59,530 --> 01:04:01,310 It was easier for all of us this way. 503 01:04:04,370 --> 01:04:06,210 That's all right. There's plenty more like them. 504 01:04:09,970 --> 01:04:11,850 Thank you, sister, for all your help. 505 01:04:12,090 --> 01:04:15,650 On Aguaterra, they will sing your praises. Really? 506 01:04:17,070 --> 01:04:18,610 No. Right. 507 01:04:19,830 --> 01:04:20,830 Bye. 508 01:04:21,050 --> 01:04:22,050 Bye. 509 01:04:53,710 --> 01:04:54,950 Our mission is almost complete. 510 01:04:55,210 --> 01:04:57,230 You mean... That's right. 511 01:04:59,390 --> 01:05:00,550 All right, give me. 512 01:05:03,490 --> 01:05:05,690 Civilization was created one set at a time. 513 01:05:05,930 --> 01:05:07,990 I've seen my duty and I've done it. 514 01:08:54,760 --> 01:08:56,420 I do read comic books. 515 01:09:01,500 --> 01:09:04,140 Yeah, which means more and more sex. 516 01:09:09,100 --> 01:09:11,319 He was very healthy, wasn't he? 517 01:09:18,580 --> 01:09:19,939 Hello, ladies. 518 01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:28,380 Professor, wait a minute. 519 01:09:33,020 --> 01:09:38,620 Yeah, well, you know, a lot can be learned from watching barnyard animals. 520 01:09:43,200 --> 01:09:47,819 I am quite surprised that all of your pages are blank. 521 01:09:52,680 --> 01:09:53,680 Good. 522 01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:56,640 But nobody ever returns from Earth unchanged. 523 01:10:02,540 --> 01:10:06,880 Let's find out what these cyber dykes are up to. 36933

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