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Leanne, Leanne, you've got to hear this.
You're what? I'm studying.
Oh, forget that.
It doesn't matter. This pales in comparison.
I have the freshest, most magnificent piece of gossip. You just cannot believe
it.
Megan and Jay broke up.
Oh, my gosh. When? Where?
I told you this was fresh. Remember when Megan didn't show up at the library this
morning? Uh-huh.
Well, guess where she was?
What's your hurry?
I got plans.
You said you had to study, so I didn't think you'd be here this long.
Well, you're the reason I'm not studying.
What is this? Wham, bam, get out?
Look, sorry, Megan. You know I see other people.
Brenda will be here any minute.
What do you mean you see other people?
Who's Brenda?
This is college. Everyone sees other people.
Oh, well, you won't be seeing me anymore.
Oh, my God.
That's terrible.
He was seeing Brenda?
Which Brenda?
The cheerleader they found in the football team's dorm.
The one with the quarterback?
The one doing the quarterback.
remember her. The coach caught them after curfew. Yeah, boy, did he catch
them. They're the worst.
Who's the worst?
Depends. Who are you?
I'm Beth, and this is my room.
New sorority girl. We're taken under our wing.
All right, Pledge Beth.
Can you keep your mouth shut?
I think so.
Too bad. We need girls in this house who can dish the dirt.
Well, I can do that. I just don't have any dirt yet.
Okay, you can stay.
Thanks. So, who's the worst and at what?
Jocks and cheerleaders.
At getting it on at the drop of a hat.
Oh, like Jack from the volleyball team.
Both now.
She'll never be able to lock me out.
God, are you okay? You're soaking wet. Yeah, no, I'm fine. I was just having a
bad dream. I just... I'm wondering...
What are you doing here?
Well, you might find this hard to believe, but it was really nice seeing
you tonight.
Huh.
I don't know if I can exactly say the same thing.
Well, Jack, even though I hate to admit it,
I missed you.
Where's William?
He's at home.
You two looked awfully cozy tonight.
Well, sometimes.
Appearances can be deceiving.
Did they ever get back together?
Nah, she went back to that William guy and he transferred back to state.
Cheerleaders are so fickle.
But was she really the worst?
Oh, yeah.
It depends.
What do you mean it depends?
I mean, if we're going to have a serious debate, we should go to the hot tub and
have an in-depth discussion.
The sorority house has a hot tub? You didn't know?
No, I don't have a suit.
Honey, we've got everything.
Yeah.
Whee!
Okay, I declare the floor open for nominations for the most promiscuous,
the most adventurous, and the most oversexed co-ed among our immediate
circle of college friends and acquaintances. The qualifying session is
last semester.
Okay, Pledge Beth, you keep score.
Now, let's start with Brittany, the health major who lived off campus.
Oh, you mean the redhead that lived with Megan and that nerd?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, she'll qualify.
Thanks a lot.
Good job, Rachel.
That's the second time this week. How am I supposed to keep a boyfriend?
Don't worry. It'll never happen again.
I'm out of here. Oh, no, you don't. You're not going anywhere.
Remember, we split the rent.
Without your third, Megan and I may have to go live in a dorm.
Just the thought of that makes me sick.
Did she ever find another roommate?
No.
But she did find that assistant gym coach.
Oh, you mean the one that got fired for dating his students? Yeah, the same.
Two for her so far.
And then there was the bartender in the pub south of campus. And she does mean
in the pub.
Where is everybody?
They were exhausted. We've been at the beach all day.
How'd it go?
Great. I think we're going to be able to pull this off.
Listen, I wanted to thank you and Megan for helping us out.
I mean, Heather, she's family, but... Want to return the favor?
What'd you have in mind?
On the bar.
What's wrong with that?
Well, wasn't it sticky?
It was afterwards.
Okay, that's three points. Four, bonus for public place.
And next, she did the trainer from the athletic department.
I always loved that sauna.
Something I should know about?
I'll tell you later.
Okay, that's six for Brittany. Who's next?
Stacey Thomas.
I picked up some Thai food. You want some?
Maybe after I worked up an appetite.
Then you're my appetizer.
Really?
He was a psych major from back east. Grad student, math sciences.
Okay, that's one for Stacy.
How many more?
I have two more affairs for her.
Then Brittany will still be ahead.
Ah, but you're forgetting points for the most adventurous categories.
And Stacy was adventurous.
Oh, my God, you're lying.
Nope. Swear to God.
College is about exploration after all.
So, one extra point for exploration.
Two, it became a regular thing.
Not so regular. She stopped doing men.
Then three extra points.
Randy.
Oh, man.
Elizabeth, what are you doing? I live here, remember?
Stacy, how could you?
Don't ask me.
He's your boyfriend.
It was our best friend's boyfriend?
Any points for that?
No, they were theater majors.
What's that supposed to mean?
Theater majors are the worst.
But I thought jocks and cheerleaders were the worst. No, theater majors are
the worst.
And this little Elizabeth?
She got out of her boyfriend real fast.
So theater majors might even be worse than jocks or cheerleaders. No way.
Yes way.
Do you remember the production of Romeo and Juliet?
Mm-hmm.
Guess which two leads got their own dress rehearsal.
On stage?
On stage.
And a public place gets some two extra points, right?
They were foreign exchange students, so they're disqualified.
They went to Verona last semester.
But what about Brandy, that art major who posed for those drawing classes last
semester?
Oh, my God, you're lying.
Yeah, but she was an exhibitionist. She used to model for those photo majors,
too.
Shall I pose for you?
What the hell?
And that one is true.
Then is she in the running?
Well, she dated that computer major.
They went out all semester.
She just teased everyone else.
So she's out of the running.
What about that other theater major, Jasmine Lang?
Oh, yeah. She's definitely in the running.
Finally, we're here.
Now.
competitive bunch theater majors okay public places and near death gets her
one two three four points at least oh and then there was her piano teacher who
taught her a lot on the piano
Three points?
Uh-huh. And then there was the piano teacher's wife.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
You feel really warm.
It feels good to cuddle like this, doesn't it?
Yeah, you know, I used to have a girlfriend and we used to cuddle like
this until we fell asleep.
How long ago was that?
That was like the fourth or fifth grade, I think.
You know, I really like you, Jill.
You know, I mean, the older you get, the harder it is to make really, you know,
good friends.
I mean, not just, like, somebody you work with or an acquaintance, but, I
mean, someone that you can really talk to and be close to and, you know, do
things with.
I know exactly what you mean.
You know what I mean?
I've
never
done anything like this with a woman before.
It makes me feel kind of like a...
A virgin again.
Well, it saved that feeling.
As you get older, those virgin experiences are fewer and fewer.
Oh, how many points is that for her now?
Beth? Huh? Oh, sorry.
That makes her the winner by the long shot.
Then may I propose a toast to Jasmine Lane.
Long may she reign.
Long may she reign.
So, where is Jasmine anyway?
She changed her major to business and got an internship at some website.
God, business majors are the worst.
Maybe. But is that all you've learned from this exercise pledge, Beth?
No, I think sorority sisters are the worst, too.
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