Original subtitles

[music playing]

So many choices in life, so many variations

on each and every thing.

Being a man, I find myselfattracted not so much

to any particular choice,but rather, that there's

more than one thing to try.

And I want it all.

For most men, the thrill of the hunt

is both a blessing and a curse, the bane of wives

and the boon of escort services.

We're simply addicted to variety.

We want, not this or that,but this and that, and that,

and that, and that one there.

And that one looks good, tastes good.

Fun just never ends.

[moaning]

DANIEL: It's you I want to marry.

KAREN: But you can't marry a married woman.

Get the divorce.

Oh, no, no, no, Stanley would never give me one.

Besides, we can't wait two years.

[sighs] So you see, darling, you're

just going to have to do asI say and marry someone else.

[pounding on door]

Oh, my god.

Fuck!

What if it's Robertson.

Ow!

[sighs] Who cares.

You're my agent.

No.

Listen, we got to stick to the plan, OK?

[train chugging]

[pounding on door]

I'm coming!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[pounding on door]

Yeah, I'm here.

Nice hours you artists keep.

I wish the INS would let me sleep this late.

May I help you, Mr. Robertson?

Yeah.

You can leave the goddamn country.

Save me the trouble ofdeporting your sorry ass.

[scoffs] I don't think so.

Why am I not surprised?

Just so you know, I'mmaking a personal priority

out of your case.

I send desperate Chinese and Mexicans

back home to starve every day.

So when it comes to some rich guy like you--

I'm not rich.

You are to me.

OK, I want my real lesbian.

[music playing]

Are you Madeleine?

Friends call me Mad.

Daniel.

I'm Karen's boyfriend.

Yeah, not a lot of thosein my world, boyfriends.

No, of course not.

Trust Karen to come up with a radical solution.

Actually we've never met, me and Karen.

Right, you're a friend of one of Karen's

friends, Sophia Roshilla.

You know how it is, stop beinglovers, start being friends.

OK, so we're clear then, no sex.

Strictly a business arrangement.

I just need to marry an American citizen.

And I need cash and a place to live.

Rent-free until the INS is satisfied.

After that, I get my green card, time passes,

and we get divorced.

Ceremony is a week from today.

[CARS HONKING IN THE

BACKGROUND]

10 o'clock, right around the corner.

You ever been married before, Dan?

Nope, never.

Yeah, me either.

I'm much too changeable, jobs,lovers, nothing stays the same

too long.

Not normally what I want to hear

right before a wedding, but--

I'm not normal.

[daniel scoffs]

OK, so I'll see you in church.

OK.

[church bells ringing]

[karen laughing]

Madame.

[scoffs] Wow.

[bells ringing]

[humming wedding song]

[buzzing]

Oh, this looks great.

It must have taken you hours.

Oh, you know how it is.

I'm going to have to have my little hobbies

to keep me busy while Danny'sdoing those paintings of his.

Uh, illustrations.

Do you understand these things?

Um, well, yeah, I mean, I had better.

I am his agent after all. [scoffs]

You know, it's not that Idon't admire women like you

out there in the business world.

It's just [scoffs] Icould never be one myself.

No, I can't imagine you could.

It might be old fashioned, but I'm just going to be

here for Danny all the time.

And deep down inside, I thinkthat's what every man really

wants from his wife.

[daniel chuckles]

[karen chuckles]

I swear to you, she wastotally butch when we met.

Really?

Well, at least this way we get good good

and no girlfriend, huh.

Imagine if it was the other way around.

That's true.

Uh, where does she sleep?

[scoffs] I don't know.

On the fold-out maybe.

On the couch?

Mm-hmm.

In fact, I've never seen her sleep.

You've never seen her sleep?

Nope.

Really?

Mm-mm.

Well, [kisses] she's just toogood to be true, isn't she, hm?

[daniel chuckles]

She cooks, she cleans.

Mm-hmm.

[laughing] I bet she evenirons your hankerchiefs.

Oh, she does.

She does?

Yep.

[chuckles] Well, we'vealways needed a wife, Daniel.

And now, lucky us, we have one.

Yeah, right.

[karen chuckles]

[dish slams]

[moaning]

[dishes clinking]

[moaning]

[dishes slamming]

Sh.

[chuckles]

[heavy breathing]

[moaning]

[vacuum roaring]

[moaning]

Fuck.

This is worse than being at my mother's.

I swear.

[daniel chuckling]

Aw.

[music playing]

[clock ticking]

Would you change the station, please?

[music playing]

Sweetie?

[music playing]

Sweetie?

It wasn't even sex actually.

Well, I saw you kiss, Daniel.

I saw your face.

I know, but I can't evenexplain how it happened.

All of the sudden she--

Look, I really don't needto know any of the details.

I mean, dominatrix.

See, I figured out who she is.

She is the woman that you married.

I know.

But you don't understand.

This woman-- no, this womanchanges, not just her hair.

She really changes week to week.

Yeah, I've heard a lotof excuses, I really have.

But that one's unique.

Yeah, but she's unique.

So I see.

I can't wait to seewhat going to be next now.

[music playing]

[clock ticking]

Oh, good, you're back.

Rezic wants to know where the new poster is.

Rezic?

You met Rezic?

Yeah, we just had lunch.

I got him to double your price.

Are you sure?

He hasn't raised my price in five years.

That's because you had a lousy agent.

Now you've got me.

OK, we've got 15 minutes before drinks

with the new art directorover at Man About Town.

Please bring the to orgasm.

OK.

[music playing]

[clock ticking]

[music playing]

[pounding on door]

How's your wife?

[glass breaking]

Mad!

[music playing]

Come here.

Come here, Mad.

It's OK.

She's going to be like this for a week.

Excuse me?

I can't leave her alone, not for a minute.

Mr. [inaudible], I don'tthink you'll be having

any more trouble with us.

[madeleine cries]

It's OK.

It's OK.

[madeleine crying]

[music playing]

[clock ticking]

[music playing]

Good morning.

[kisses]

Madeleine.

I have breakfast.

So this is who you really are.

[scoffs] Who else would I be?

I'll never know, will I?

Know what?

I've been trying all weekto figure out your pattern.

I'm simple.

So tell me.

What you see is what you get.

You're going to change again.

Mad?

[clock ticking]

Maddie?

Madeleine?

[train choochooing]

OK, what's this week going to be?

[footsteps]

[daniel gasps]

You don't need the knife, Mad.

I'm ready to play any game you want.

You think this a game?

[water bubbling]

[music playing]

[daniel coughing]

[music playing]

[daniel gasping]

[glass breaking]

[iron sizzles]

[daniel screaming]

Remember our vows, Daniel?

The ones you made so freely.

In sickness and in health.

In good times and in bad.

[daniel gasping]

Till death do us part.

[daniel screams]

OK, Daniel.

Which part of you do you want to lose first?

[daniel crying]

Hm?

Oh, does Lovey Dovey want me to choose?

[knife slices]

You can end it, you know.

Just ask.

Just say it, two words, kill me.

Oh, you want to play some more?

Hm?

Come on, Daniel.

Last chance.

Fight me!

[music playing]

[daniel grunts]

[madeleine gasping]

[daniel's legs shaking]

[music playing]

[pencil scratching]

[music playing]

[papers slam]

[pencil scratching]

[music playing]

[knife stabbing]

[pencil scratching]

[glass falling]

[pencil scratching]

[music playing]

[birds chirping]

It's been a week, Mad.

Rise and shine.

Change.

[music playing]

[skin crackling]

[birds chirping]

[music playing]

[madeleine groans]

Good morning.

[music playing]

Don't you wish you couldhave your cake and eat it too?

[heartbeats]

Doesn't every man secretly wishthat he could have every woman

in the world, and yet havea monogamous, loyal, devoted

relationship with each and every one of them?

Well, he can.

It may be unfair, even abusive, but if you find

the right person, and you don't let

their feelings get in the way, you can be

unfair to your heart's content.

[heartbeats]

[music playing]