Original subtitles

-Baba?

Mrs. Moser called to say

you cancelled her husband's funeral?

Oh, what the hell happened?

-I'll tell you what happened.

I've been victimized by every eyebrow place in town --

The Trader Joe's Brow Bar, Brouch, You're Hurting Me,

the toddler beauty pageant prep place --

they're all butchers!

Why can no one get them on fleek?

-Left brow look like caterpillar.

Right brow look like gummy worm.

-I'm talking about the mushrooms!

-[ Sneeze ] I'm finding it... hard to breathe?

-Quit making fun of my eyebrows!

-You probably allergic to invasive mushroom species.

Is okay. Baba called Fungi Fixer, mushroom exterminator.

-Oh, yeah.

I'll have to smoke the whole house with poison fog.

You'll need to evacuate for 72 hours.

-The fog can't hurt me, I'm already dead. I'm staying.

I've got a 10:00 AM tomorrow with Yolanda

at ICU Emergency Brow Recovery.

Yolanda works out of a decommissioned ambulance,

so I'm hoping insurance will cover it.

-If we have to leave, maybe we could go on a road trip.

Have we ever taken a family vacation?

-Actually, when you were a newborn,

we drove to the orphanage in Orlando

to see if they had a drop-off.

-Shh! -What?

-Inevitable death make vacation redundant.

But, Baba guess we could visit cousins.

-[ Gasps ] I didn't know I had cousins!

-What part of Florida are they in?

The space coast? Sun coast?

Boiled peanut coast? Barbiturate coast?

Hard seltzer coast? -No, no.

They just across border.

But we will have to...

leave Florida.

[ Gasping ]

-[ Screaming ]

-[ Bleats ]

-[ Crying ]

-♪ I'm not as crazy as I used to be ♪

♪ Some of my devils up and let me free ♪

♪ To find a quiet space ♪

♪ I'm not as out of place ♪

♪ And I'm coming home again ♪

♪ It's been too long a time getting back what's mine ♪

♪ And I can't remember why I went away ♪

♪ But it's lookin' like maybe I can stay ♪

Was that any good?

-Finally! Some me time.

-Get ready to play...

"Your Baby or Bacon"!

-What the --

This is an urgent message from

Big Gator & Gator Jr. Bounty Hunters for...

-[ Heavy accent ] Trophy Fantasy.

-Please remain still.

Identity confirmation scan commencing.

Identity confirmed.

This is an attempt to collect a total debt of--

-[ Heavy accent ] $1,237.02.

-On behalf of...

-[ Heavy accent ] Fifteen eyebrow studios.

-To avoid physical collection,

please submit payment immediately.

-Scan this!

[ Laughs ]

-QR code provided does not constitute requested payment.

-[ Heavy accent ] Two of four.

-Warrant to dispatch bounty drones approved.

-Bounty drones?

-So...

are our cousins like, super excited we're coming?

-They have no idea. We surprise. -Ohhh.

-I can't believe I finally get to

play this road trip bingo set.

Found it years ago on a corpse who died on a road trip.

-Died because he got separated from his family on vacation?

-No.

Died because he play bingo instead of watch road.

-[ Screams ] -Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

-Mom! You're coming with us? -Yeah.

Step on it! [ Engine revs ]

[ Tires screech ]

-Hey, wanna play Road Trip Bingo with me?

-No, but here's a game for you.

Start calling me a different name in public, okay?

How about Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?

Shit!

[ Drones whir ]

[ Beeping ]

-Suspect address confirmed. Search commencing.

♪♪

-Wow.

It's like a gas station built its own little, tiny city.

-Uh, excuse me, why are we stopping?

Shouldn't we get a little farther away

from Fort Gator's airspace?

-Baba cankles tight. Need stretch legs.

[ Cracking ]

We take quick break then meet back at car, yes?

-Annie, watch out for truck pervert.

-Oh, she's out.

One of the bingo squares said, "take a car nap,"

so she drank a bunch of Benadryl.

Come on!

♪♪

[ Gasps ] Ooh. -Hello.

Lamb, chicken, or chilamken?

That's a lamb-chicken combo.

-I'm not here to get food, lady.

I've got two girls on my forehead

who are fighting for their goddamn lives.

-Ugh! Oh, honey.

Did you upset a wizard or something?

Put those falsies back on

before my customers lose their appetites.

-Please, if you have a shred of kindness in you,

tell me who does your brows.

-I offer stick and poke microblading

with a Sharpie marker

and the metal probe of the meat thermometer.

Cash only.

-[ Gasps ] Come to Baba.

♪♪

-C'mon, can't you empty any faster?

There's a claw machine out there.

-Excuse me? Hello there. Could you help me?

-Sorry, mister, but those stuffed animals

ain't gonna claw themselves!

-Can't you please spare a moment to aid a kind old man?

My stall's all out of toilet paper.

-Ugh, okay.

Nope. There isn't any.

Look, I gotta go. -Please don't abandon me.

I can tell you have a good heart.

-I'll be right back.

Ohhh!

Ha-ha!

Ugh. You've gotta be kidding me!

No, no.

Ohhh.

Ha-ha! [ Screams ]

-Can I get a manager to register for a price check?

And to ask her to be my wife? -Aww.

-Ohh!

-Almost finished.

But remember what I started with.

I can't make a Rolex out of a bicycle chain.

-Ow!

-Alright, here it is!

-Why, thank you, son.

May I thank you eye-to-eye?

-Ahh, I'm running out of time!

-Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. -What is it now?

-The lock on my door is stuck.

Can you help a stuck old man? -[ Groans ]

[ Door clatters ] You're welcome!

-Oh! My gratitude runneth over --

[ Door slams ]

He gone.

[ Machine buzzes ] -[ Groans ]

-Baba, Baba! -Why look so mad?

This no compromise Baba recovery.

Baba quit gambling anytime.

-I'm not angry. I'm just in a hurry.

Move it! -Hey, Dr. Quinn!

You better pay up!

[ Lock clunking ]

[ Lock clunking ]

♪♪

-Hello, little girl.

-[ Bleats ] -Ahh!

-Drive, Baba! -[ Bleating ]

-Shhh. Here.

Baba buy you soft pretzel.

-Don't forget to cleanse and moisturize

twice daily, you asshole!

Eyebrows don't forgive, and neither do I!

♪♪

[ Whirring ]

-Suspect reported!

Pursuit in progress.

Baba, look!

I clawed a Lil' Tykes Homicide Detection teddy bear.

The spray chemical turns blue if it detects blood proteins.

Baba?

[ Gasps ] Baba!

-Abandoned by your mother at a truck stop?

[ Chuckles ] I sure know what that's like.

-What do I do?!

-You helped me out, so tell you what.

You like chickens, boy?

♪♪

-I thought Annie picked out a "Downton Abbey"-themed

bed & breakfast.

This place is a duuump.

[ Chuckles ] Probably a bunch of people

on the run from bounty drones staying here.

-Baba maybe overdraw account a bit playing video poker.

This hotel fine. Suit needs.

-I'm gonna hit the bathroom

and try to coax these brows into another expression.

-Let Baba try fix.

Any hair in shower drain we can work with?

-[ Laughs ]

-Ahh! -Uh, Mom?

Baba? Who is that?

-It's Pete, so what?

Boy, Benadryl must be better than I thought.

-It's not Pete!

-Of course it's Peter.

Mother know son anywhere. Here.

I show you embroidered handkerchief

sewn into underwear as proof.

-[ Yelps ] -Uh-oh. This not Peter.

-Get away from me, you monsters.

And you!

I've seen a lot of bad shit,

but I'll be having nightmares about those things for years.

-Wait a minute.

If he not son, that mean...

[ Gasps ] Peter!

[ Whirring ]

[ Beeping ]

Higher bounty detected.

Divert to new fugitive.

-Let me guess. Another pervert.

What is it with this place?

Ever think about moving to a different state?

-No. -What the-- [ Screams ]

-Mm-hmm. Baba understand.

Thank you for try. [ Sighs ]

Petey no longer at truck stop.

-Nobody has their cell phone?

I didn't bring mine because

I don't want the bounty hunters --

I mean, the government -- tracking me.

-Pete and I left ours at home.

Family vacation's supposed to be a digital detox.

-Baba have phone, but only basic cell plan.

I no want roaming charges.

-Well, Uncle Pete will either follow our route

and meet us just across the border --

-or he'll go to the post office with "return to Baba's womb"

written on his forehead

-Best get shut-eye. I'm sure Petey fine.

He probably somewhere sleeping like baby.

-Ahh!

Quit laying eggs down the back of my shirt!

Whoa!

-This the place? This is it!

Thank you, mister.

I'm coming, Baba!

-Mm-mm-mm.

I know his mama ain't waiting in there for him, Rita.

But there are things in this world

a man's gotta learn for himself.

-Okay, yesterday I got

"Power line with more than four pairs of shoes

hanging off of it"

and "Tollbooth operator giving birth on the job."

I might just win this thing.

-Did you win money by any chance?

Because Mama may need to borrow a few bucks.

-Nope.

But if you self-report your win on their app,

you get to buy a victory t-shirt in their online store.

-Hey, why are we exiting?

A casino? I don't think so.

It's very important that we keep moving!

-Why?

You're not on the run from the law again, are you, Mom?

-No, don't be silly, Annie.

We just have to get to the cousins

we've never met, who aren't expecting us,

as soon as possible!

[ Tires screech ]

Plus, your grandma's a gambling addict.

-Not true! Bad daughter!

Brow Expo?

Well, maybe we can make a quick stop...

One game and then we leave, right, Baba?

Baba? Okay.

Let's go find someone to feng shui my forehead.

-Ha-ha! -Oh, look!

I'm gonna get Eugene Levy flavor.

I always wondered what he tasted like.

[ Beeping ]

-Suspect location update.

Recommence Operation Eyebrows on the Lam.

-Ha, a little lamb with big thick eyebrows?

[ Chuckling to self ] Hi. Hey there.

-Quit talking to birds, Barry.

-[ Caws ] -Hey, man.

-Get a job! -Then you can get your own car!

-Bet your mom hates you! -Aw, man.

-You look like a sheep who's lost his flock.

Need a lift?

-[ Rumbling ]

-Sorry, that was just my tummy rumbling.

I sure am getting hungry.

-Patience, Solomon. We'll eat when it's time.

-Hi, I'm Pete.

Do y'all live across the border?

[ Laughter ]

-Oh, we'd never leave Florida, mister.

-There are places in this country

where you can't even own an unlimited amount of snakes.

-Or store propane inside of any container you want.

-[ Chuckles nervously ] Okay.

[ Beeping ] -Oh!

Time to give praise.

Wanna pick the song, sir? -Okay.

"Beneath Thy Skin." "The Flesh Provides."

Gosh, they all look so great.

It's really hard to choose.

[ Ominous music plays ]

-Move it, Annie! -What?

Those look expensive and cheap at the same time.

How can you afford them?

-Hey! Hey! Hey, lady!

The credit card you gave me is a Saltine cracker!

I'm gonna have to repo those brows.

-Squatter's rights!

Hey, wasn't one of your bingo squares

"Sneak out of a casino undetected?"

-I don't think so.

Why do I get the feeling you're not just doing this

to help me with bingo? -Baba!

We've gotta get out of here.

Our position is compromised! -Not yet. No.

When Baba lose 21 times in a row,

next game, anything can happen.

-[ Groans ]

-Nooo!

-♪ Drink the blood of the sacrifice ♪

-Thank you, Pete.

Now it's about our lunchtime, and being a religious family,

there are some rituals we have to attend to before we eat.

-That's okay. I'm not hungry.

-Well, we're very hungry.

-Aw, shoot, I'm so sorry.

I think my Lil' Homicide Detection Kit leaked all over.

Wow...

you sure have a lot of blood proteins on your car's interior.

-Oh, that's because we're cannibals for Christ, sir.

-Daddy, I can't wait!

-Boys. Not yet. -[ Screams ]

[ Screaming ]

Ahh!

[ Groaning ]

-Boyd, say grace!

♪♪

-[ Groans ]

[ Horn blares ]

-It's like...

it's like, it's my life, but I don't feel present.

-Commencing quiet time now, Barry.

-I mean, dude, do you really want to die in a thousand years

having wasted our youth on other people's goals?

[ Alarm blares ] -Suspect location update.

-What's really going on, Mom?

I know something's up. You've got a suspicious look.

Shit. Honey, don't be silly.

It's just the brows talking! [ Engine revs ]

-Then why are you driving like this?

-Because I'm -- in the mood for mini-golf.

-Mini-golf? I've always wanted to do that!

-Baba never wanted to do that.

[ Screams ]

-Ooh, I think that's her. Hello?

-Move, Annie. -No, Mom. The hole's this way.

-Fore! -Watch out!

-[ Gasps ] Barry!

[ Screams ]

-Gimme your ball, Annie! -No.

I wanna whack it at Jefferson Davis.

Bullseye.

Well, that was fun. You and Baba can finish up.

I'll be in the bar.

-But we only have one ball now.

-I use turnip.

Hii.

[ Ball rattling ] -Nice.

-[ Groans ] Man.

I know you and I didn't always agree,

but I want to thank you for always--

-I love you.

I've always loved you.

-Wait, what?

-Shut up!

I freakin' hate sentient robots and their unconditional love.

♪♪

-What the hell? -Drones eliminated.

No. No!

Hey, Daddy? Come quick!

Some maniac just took out two tracker drones.

-[ Gasps ] Not Barry.

-I told you he was too good for drone bounty work!

He should've been a drone poet!

-You're about to witness my favorite part

of being a bounty hunter, son...

vengeance.

Release the Reaper!

This one's for you, Barry.

♪♪

-Time's up, brow frau.

♪♪

[ Growls ]

-Huh? Where am I?

-Oh, we're so glad you're okay. [ Giggles coyly ]

We're swimsuit models headed across the border

for a photoshoot. -[ Groans ]

This is the worst trip ever.

I've had nothing but terrible luck.

-Aww, poor fella.

Anything we can do to make you more comfortable?

-Well, it's a little hot in here.

-Oh, we keep it warm since we're in thong bikinis.

But we can put on clothes and turn on the A/C if you want.

-Yes, please.

How much longer till the border?

-Oh, we crossed it a minute ago, cutie.

-We did? [ Gasps ] Stop the bus!

Let me out! I've already gone too far!

Let me out!

-Aw, but we were just getting to know you.

-Mom, I just saw a billboard for the Paper Bag Museum.

That sounds exciting. Should we go there next?

-Trophy Fantasy!

Pull over immediately for apprehension.

-I knew you were lying when you said

you were using my college fund to pay for brows.

That's an auto-abductor. You better turn yourself in.

-What I going to tell cousins?

"Sorry, we no make it, we calling from jail."

Very shameful! -I think we can lose him.

-Trophy Fantasy, surrender now!

[ Screaming ]

-[ Grunts ]

[ Laughs ] -Escape is futile!

[ Horns blaring ] -Mom, stop!

-Ha-ha! [ Growls ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming continues ]

[ Tires squeal ]

-Ha! I got s'more where that comes from.

-"Make a campfire."

You think that counts? Yeah.

[ Engine revs ]

-Ugh!

-I can see it! Almost there!

♪♪

Okay, everyone. Hang on.

[ Horn blares ]

[ Screaming ]

♪♪

-Ow! -Yes. I win!

-I hate to break it to you, but we might as well surrender.

These bounty hunter cars don't give up.

It'll just turn around and get you.

-Not if it can't!

-Wait, is that...Peter?

-Death powers!

-Baba! It's Pete!

Remember me?

W-What is happening?

-Ohh! -Babaaaa!

[ Choir singing ]

-Go to cousins, Peter.

-[ Sobbing ] -Baba get you soon!

-Okay!

-Mom, did you just separate Florida

from the continental United States

to avoid paying your eyebrow technicians?

-"Four easy payments" is just a suggestion, Annie.

It's better this way.

I bet you'll like floating aimlessly at sea.

-You know I get seasick!

And "seismic event" isn't even on my bingo card!

-Who cares about that stupid game, Annie.

-We go home.

[ Choir singing ]

-I think I'll just shave them off completely.

If there's no evidence, they can't convict.

Or maybe I'll just bleach them?

-Then they look like milk mustache.

[ Siren wails ]

-What the hell? -Trophy Fantasy?

Time to get those brows behind bars.

-How did you find me?

I outsmarted all the drones!

Someone wrote on the back of your car with a bingo dauber.

Are you dead? -Annie! How could you?

Yeah, I broke a Florida-sized piece off of America,

but turning in your own mother? -Sorry.

"Watching parent get arrested" was the last square I needed.

I thought I'd get that one first.

Bingo!

-Looks like you're also showing up

with an active warrant, ma'am.

Seems you gave a casino a bogus Social Security Number

to secure a loan?

-What kind of country not give goat line of credit?

He good for it! -[ Bleats ]

Ohh! -[ Growls ]

-Oh, jeez.

Two mother figures arrested in one day.

Well, no time to process that.

Guess you'll have to drive me home.

"'Guess you'll have to drive me home,'

Annie told Goat, and off they went."

Okay, little ones.

We'll stop the story there for tonight.

-Wait, does Florida reattach? Does the family ever reunite?

-Did Trophy's eyebrows grow back?

-Oh, eventually.

You see, children,

Baba and Trophy spent some time in Debtor's Prison.

-Stomp faster, debtors!

We can't make screwdrivers without OJ!

-We're only here six more weeks.

I hope that's long enough for my natural brows

to make a comeback.

In the meantime...

how do these orange peel brows look?

-Like you beauty queen of the compost pile.

-"And Annie and Goat held down the funeral home

while they were away."

-Annie Fantasy,

we're here because those panty lines

tell us you're not in compliance with the new Sisqo Statute.

Thong underwear is now mandatory

for all residents of once-Florida.

-[ Bleats ] -Oh, I am!

I just wear briefs beneath the thong.

I call it my under-underwear.

-I guess that's legal.

-Way to make things weird. Bye, bitch.

-Just make sure every corpse you put in the ground

is wearing a thong, too.

-Oh, we will. -[ Bleats ]

-"And Pete, well, he learned a hard lesson.

-[ Robotic ] Cheer up, cousin Pete.

We're working on a visa to get you home.

-I don't get it.

Why won't the U.S. just let Florida reattach?

[ Robotic laughter ]

-Why reattach cancerous tumor?

Oh, full flesh-suit Petey.

Your home is here with Cyborg Baba now.

Ahh! -[ Bleats ]

-"And that's why Floridans..."

-"...should never leave the state."

-That's right.

-Silly Pete!

-♪ Flor-Flor-Flor-Flor Florida ♪

♪ Florida-da, Florida-da ♪

♪ Flor-Flor-Flor-Flor Florida ♪

♪ Florida-da, Florida-da ♪

♪ Flor-Flor-Flor-Flor Florida ♪

♪ Florida-da, Florida-da ♪

♪♪