Original subtitles

-Funerals.

Traditionally, a total bummer.

-Bad enough that my dad died.

Now I gotta sit through a funeral?

-For far too long, funerals have been boring,

rubbing mortality in our faces, but not anymore.

Welcome to the future of mourning!

At Death Fulfillment Centers International,

we're revolutionizing the grieving experience...

by totally replacing it with outer space.

DFCI launches your deceased into the sky

and blows them up...

turning your loved ones into a fireworks display

that's beautiful and fleeting.

Just like life, but death.

Just listen to our satisfied customers.

-I'll be honest,

I never felt anything for my wife during our marriage,

but watching her careen into the sky

and become an oversized twinkly fire flower,

I'm now in awe of her splendor and beauty.

Thank you, DFCI.

-Say hello to the new goodbye.

We're putting regular funeral parlors right out of business.

Don't miss the grand opening of our new location in...

Fort Gator!

-No!

[ Down-tempo music plays ] [ Crying ]

-♪ I'm not as crazy as I used to be ♪

♪ Some of my devils up and left me free to find a quiet space ♪

♪ I'm not as out of place ♪

♪ And I'm coming home again ♪

♪ It's been too long a time gettin' back what's mine ♪

♪ And I can't remember why I went away ♪

♪ But it's lookin' now like maybe I can stay ♪

Was that any good?

-Billionaire death-disrupter Ref Mazos

is building a Death Fulfillment Center in Fort Gator.

-Once a DFC opens,

all the local funeral homes shut down one by one.

Tender Endings won't be able to compete!

-Stop worry. Mayor Todd never let DFC happen.

He know importance of funeral.

[ Cellphone chimes ] -Breaking news!

-Bad news, guys.

Looks like Mayor Todd is, like, dead.

Cancelled by God. -Yeah.

There was, like, a brutal ATV accident on Make Out Hill.

-Which Mayor Todd recently renamed Penetration Point

in honor of yours truly.

-An unknown basic lady was also found

at the bottom of Clumsy-Wife Cliff.

Wives, when your husband says he wants

to re-kindle your marriage at Penetration Point,

please don't fall for it.

SXPD out!

-Mayor Todd is dead!

Now what are we gonna do, Baba?

-What "we," white man?

This perfect opportunity for Baba to retire.

-We have to start a petition against the DFC!

-Petitions never work, Annie.

-I better go get my lucky clipboard.

-You have to find new way to support family.

-[ Groans ] Okay, okay, I see where this is going.

You want me to seduce this Ref bajillionaire

for the sake of the family, right?

Tell him to shut the DFC if he wants my legs to open?

Fine, I will!

-[ Sobbing ]

-And if enough residents sign,

we can stop the DFC from ever opening!

-I put on a robe for this?

-Young lady, it almost sounds

like you're against corporate monopolies.

-Me and Maw ain't never gonna die!

You can't make us!

-This sounds very interesting.

Why don't you come in and tell me more about it?

-Are you a child murderer?

-There's no way to know, is there?

-Actually, there is a quick test my Baba taught me.

♪ Fly's in the buttermilk, shoo, fly, shoo ♪

♪ Fly's in the buttermilk, shoo, fly, shoo ♪

♪ Fly's in the buttermilk, shoo, fly, shoo ♪

-♪ Skip to the Lou my darling ♪

Damn it! -Help!

I was taken from my home in Des Moines, Iowa!

-And I would've got away with it, too,

if it weren't for that meddling song!

-Thanks for helping us catch

Casper the child trafficker, Annie.

-Hey, would you mind signing my petition to stop the DFC?

-Why? Dead people are gross.

Space isn't far enough away.

-How about you?

-Your cause sounds stupid.

-[ Sighs ]

Come on, Annie.

All it takes is one yes to get the ol' change train a chugging.

[ Doorbell rings ] Choo-choo.

-Annie! -Joey!

Oh, wow, I thought my mother killed you.

-Oh, yeah. She tried, but no.

I was away at a candle-centric boarding school

until my mom yanked me out last week.

She's worried about money now

since the DFC might put us out of business.

Cool clipboard, by the way.

-I'm actually trying to get the town

to sign a petition to keep the DFC out of Fort Gator.

-Any luck?

-Well, I signed it, so that's a grand total of...one.

-You know, Annie, I'm really glad you came by.

There's somewhere I want to take you.

Have you ever heard of Make Out Hill?

-Right next to Second Base Bluff?

Of course I've heard of it. -Will you go there with me?

It's important. Let me go grab my bike.

-I really need to get more signatures,

but there comes a time when the cause must pause

so Joey's paws can go down my draws.

So the petition can wait 'til tonight.

I'm in! [ Grunts ]

-Hold on tight.

♪♪

-Time to have a funeral for our funeral home.

-Mmm. Geez Latouche!

What's in this? I can really taste the anguish.

I mean, not taste.

What -- What's the word? Feel. Feel.

-It's my version of a painkiller.

I call it a pain feeler.

-Okay, I need Ref to want to bang me, not console me.

Give me a drink that makes me numb and extra-flexible.

-Try this, a Dark and Horny.

-Mmm. What's the extra kick at the end?

-There's a goat Viagra floater.

-My brother, a genius.

-[ Sobbing ]

Yeah.

-I want to show you something very special,

but I-I'm kinda nervous.

So close your eyes.

-Can't you give me a clue?

-Uh, it's little and pink.

Okay, no peeking.

-Joey, will you still respect me if I go along with this?

-I guess it depends a little bit on what you do with it.

Okay...open your eyes.

-Why are your pants still on? [ Gasps ]

Is that...? -A severed human finger!

I was riding my bike up here yesterday and found it.

-And you just left it here?

-I figured I'd give the owner 24 hours to come back and get it,

but that time has passed.

Now it's fingers keepers!

-[ Gasps ] Do you think this has something to do with

Mayor Todd's death?

-Maybe.

The sooner we find out,

the sooner we know whether or not I can keep it!

C'mon!

♪♪

-Knock! Knock! -Ugh!

-Hey, baby.

After I saw you on TV, I just had to know if your penis

looks anything like your rockets.

[ Moaning ]

Comin' atcha.

[ Meows ]

Hope you got insurance, big boy.

-Ugh. Can I help you?

♪♪

-Oh.

You're a ghost town from the waist down.

-If you're trying to seduce me, [Groans]

you're humping up the wrong bionic leg.

I get hard in a different way.

It's a mental stiffness engorged by power, money,

and watching intergenerational family businesses collapse.

Now, if you'll excuse me... -Wait!

My stupid family has a stupid funeral home,

and if it closes, we'll be out on the streets.

There has to be some kind of depraved arrangement

I could bribe you with to keep the DFC from opening.

-Hmm. If you're willing

to let me completely and utterly use you...

-Yup! -...in a nonsexual manner...

-Huh.

-...I might have just the job for you.

-Hmm.

Well, I don't like the sound of "nonsexual" and "job"

in the same breath, but, hey!

Broaden my horizons, rocket boy!

♪♪

-Welcome to Funeral Director VR.

-[ Moaning ]

-Shh. Stop moaning.

You ruin retirement. [ Goat bleats ]

-This is all happening so fast, Baba.

I've lost my purpose.

-Look. I try learn retirement.

You need pivot, too.

-But my only skills are upselling coffins,

loving my mother too much, and super-tasting.

-You make good cocktails.

How about you fix Baba one?

-Okay, what are you in the mood for?

-Make Baba drink that help with hang loose.

-Ooh! I got the perfect thing.

Coming right up!

-Ahh.

Now to sell coffins to family with final expense insurance.

♪♪

-I think I can use the fingerprint

from our friend here to log into social media.

Then we can see who it belonged to.

-Welcome, Valerie Mazos.

-This is Ref Mazos's wife's finger?

-She must have been the basic woman

who exploded with Mayor Todd!

-Something about this doesn't feel right, Joey.

The DFC comes to town,

then the mayor and Ref's wife suddenly die in an accident?

-This feels like chickens playing badminton.

-What do you mean? -Foul play.

[ Both laugh ]

-Oh, Joey... -Yeah.

-Wait!

My mom was gonna try and seduce Ref tonight!

What if she's in danger!

-We better go warn her. -Totally.

But maybe we should go back to Make Out Hill first?

You know, to find more clues

or to lose something else, maybe?

-No time, Annie!

-[ Sighs ]

-Usually, I get it on the first try, but this one is a toughy.

Version 15 will be the one.

Madam.

-Hmm. Taste more like ennui than retiree.

[ Cellphone vibrating, Goat bleating ]

-Turn on the news, old woman!

It seems your idiot daughter

who was going to burn out and die

before she turned 30 just hit El Big Time!

-You did die before 30.

-Turn on the news!

-Breaking news!

Due to budget cuts,

Fort Gator has decided to do away with elections

and just let the richest man or woman in town choose the mayor.

-C'mon, good mayor. C'mon, good mayor!

Old Petey needs his business back.

-Fort Alligator, it is my privilege

to introduce you to your new mayor.

Her Honor, Trophy Fantasy!

-I can't believe she did it!

Yes! -Oh, boy.

This very bad.

-Citizens of Fort Gator, it is an honor to be your new mayor.

I mean, not an honor like getting an extra nugget

in your order because a teenager thinks you're a MILF.

But still, an honor of some kind.

[ Cheers and applause ] Ref, if you will.

It's now my pleasure as Mayor

to declare the Fort Gator Death Fulfillment Center

officially open for business!

-[ Screaming ]

♪♪

-[ Whispering indistinctly ]

-Oh, right, right.

And as my first act as mayor, I'll be outlawing grief.

All crying or wailing is now forbidden.

People can still die and funerals can still happen.

They just have to be fun and involve rockets,

or you go straight to jail.

Okay, I'm done. How do I turn this mic off?

♪♪

-[ Crying ]

-Peter. Stop with blubbering.

Adjust to new normal or sister arrest you.

-Tender Endings just doesn't have a purpose anymore.

[ Doorbell rings ]

-Peter, I know funerals are verboten,

but we didn't know where else to go.

-You've always helped us with our grief, Pete.

I mean, you know my brother hated rockets

and fireworks.

It's a lot to unpack, man.

-I used to attend funerals of people I didn't even know

just so I wouldn't have to cry alone.

Now what am I supposed to do?

-Oh, I'm not allowed to perform funerals,

but I can invite you in for a drink.

Quick, come in and head downstairs.

♪♪

-Look, honey!

Aren't you proud of Mommy?

I'm the Mayor!

This sash is pure Chinese satin. Do you want to touch it?

-Mom, what are you doing?

Did you know the woman who died with Mayor Todd

was Refs' wife?

-Honey, if she's dead, she's his ex-wife.

I got to bounce, baby girl. My limo is here.

I'm the Mayor.

-Mrs. Fantasy, you're just a puppet.

Ref made you mayor so he can be in control

without seeming like he's pulling all the strings.

-Ugh. I thought you were dead.

Don't be so jealous of my success, Annie!

I'll have as much time for you as I always did!

-♪ Don't cry out loud ♪

♪ Just keep it inside ♪

♪ Learn how to hide your feelings ♪

♪ Fly high and proud ♪

♪ And if you should fall ♪

-Grief is a crime.

Report offenders to the SXPD.

Mayor Trophy says let's get fun, Fort Gator!

[ Dog barks, tires screech ]

-Puddles! No!

I loved Puddles, and now she's a puddle of blood!

-Hey, Mr. Weepy!

You are under arrest.

-You are in violation of Trophy's Law.

No grieving in public, dude.

-Either take her to the DFC for a joyful sendoff

or your bereaved butt is going to jail.

-Puddles!

♪♪

-Password?

-Chopping onions. -[ Crying ]

-Quick. Head down to the morgue.

Join the others.

[ All crying ]

-Welcome to Weepy Pete's Secret Speakeasy for Sadness.

Mourn at your own risk.

We've got a two-drink minimum, folks.

-We just shot our cousin Jessie off into space,

but he is -- he was a great swimmer...

and DJ...pinball player... and cousin!

-Jessie was great.

I know because he had such a loving family.

I'll make you a couple of Cry Thais.

The coconut adds a subdued sweetness

to bawling your eyes out.

-You've set up a nice little spot here, Pete.

My mother would have loved it.

-Here's a Ma-grieve-rita, on the house.

Let it out.

Who knew drinking

would be the best way to deal with your sadness?

♪♪

-Where did you find this again?

-At Penetration Point.

-Aren't you two a little young to be up there?

-Not anymore. -Oh, did they repeal that?

-Tuesday.

Because of a petition, believe it or not.

-Listen, we have proof

this finger belonged to Valerie Mazos.

Don't you think it's suspicious that Ref's wife

and the Mayor died on the same night?

-Eh, probably, but we don't have time to investigate murders.

Since the DFC opened and sadness was outlawed, we're swamped.

-Maybe you two could solve it.

-We're trying, but we need your help!

-Get in line. We've got our hands full.

Weepers, mourners,

people with allergies suing us for wrongful imprisonment.

-We have an entire holding cell full of babies.

A finger is the least of our problems.

-Let's just go.

-And there's no other way, Mother?

Fine!

-So I was thinking,

since we need a nice, quiet spot to brainstorm,

why don't we head up to Make Out Hill?

-Sorry, Annie. That was my mom.

With the DFC expanding and Blissful Passings closed,

my family is moving.

I'm afraid this is goodbye.

-Oh, Joey, I would cry right now

if it weren't punishable with jail time.

-Me, too.

I'll never forget you, Annie.

You were my first.

My first Annie.

♪♪

-Welp, Fort Gator is like baby shampoo --

no more tears.

The DFC is thriving,

and funeral homes have all closed.

I've done everything you wanted, Sexykins.

Everything. -Ugh.

Please, Trophy, I don't want to have to keep saying this.

Just call me Ref. -Oh, right.

I keep forgetting your ding-dong

doesn't want me as a ride- along.

I never imagined I'd become so successful

based on my charm, brains, and lack of scruples.

-Uh-huh.

-So listen, now that you got what you wanted,

how about I get to do some mayoral stuff that I want to do?

Like putting wine in the water fountains

and a law saying only people with good feet

get to wear flip-flops.

-Sorry, Trophy.

Now that we've got things all set in Fort Alligator...

-It's Fort Gator.

-...we have to head to the next town.

I was thinking...Omaha.

There are a lot of people

drinking themselves to death there.

-Omaha?! But I want to run Fort Gator!

-Think bigger, Trophy!

You're amazing at doing what I want you to do for money.

Come with me and who knows? One day, you could be president.

Now get out and pack your shit. -But the car is still moving!

-Yeah, yeah. It's called a rolling stop.

See you tomorrow! -[ Grunts ]

I refuse to believe there's no sexual tension between us!

[ All crying ]

-Remember, Mrs. McGillicuddy, the drink's called a Band-Aid

because at some point, you'll have to rip it off.

Real healing happens sober.

-You sound like my therapist, who died, by the way.

-Quick! Code Sniffles! -[ All gasp ]

Code Sniffles! [ Laughter ]

Here we are, just regular people in a regular morgue, okay?

-Oh, don't worry!

Cry all you want.

I could care less.

[ All crying ]

-Welcome home, traitor daughter.

If you come to rub your success in Mother's face, you too late.

Baba already shit-faced.

Retirement not for the faint of heart.

-Well, I'm not mad at you, Troph.

Running this place allows me to use all my empath skills

without having to touch so many dead bodies!

I kind of love it.

-I'm only here to say goodbye.

I'm leaving with Ref for Oklahoma or something.

I'm such a good politician that he sees big things for me.

-You just puppet.

-Oh! -Being puppet isn't so bad.

At least someone's always giving you a hand.

-[ Growls ] -Oh, Mr. Baba.

How about one last drink on me?

What can I get you?

-I'll have a "nobody move, this is a raid."

-Huh. I don't know that one. -Nobody move!

This is a raid! [ Gunshot ]

Wipe away your tears, then hands where I can see them.

This here's a dry town.

We're shutting you down!

-Thanks for the tip, Mayor Trophy.

-How could you betray your own family?

-Sorry, Pete. Corruption and bribes are my family now.

I'm the mayor.

-[ Grunts ] -Everybody out!

-[ Crying ]

-Annie?! Oh, sweetie.

Mama's here, so stop crying...

because it's illegal and annoying.

-I'm sorry, Mom.

I'll try and weep silently.

-What are you so sad about, anyway?

I saw you out Nancy Drew-ing with Sophie's nerdy spawn.

-I'm sad because you said

you were going to save our funeral home,

and instead, you helped the DFC open,

which made Joey have to move away.

And now I'll never get to Second Base Bluff,

and I can completely kiss Penetration Point goodbye.

-Aww, Annie. Maybe he's like Ref.

No penetration, no point.

Anyway, I'm so glad you're already sad

because I have some news.

I'm leaving tomorrow to become the mayor of Idaho.

-Fine. Go!

Just maybe don't marry him because his last wife lost this!

-A finger can only point out so much, Annie.

Who knows what happened to her?!

-Why don't you use your powers to figure out how she died?

-Hon, mayors have a lot of power,

but we can't order severed fingers to solve crimes.

-[ Groans ] Not those powers. Your Death Powers!

-Oh. Oh, right!

I always forget about those.

I'll try, but Ref really seems like a good guy to me.

♪♪

-Killer night, man.

Absolutely killer.

-So, I've given you a meal

at the world's only Michelin-rated McDonald's,

done a 1,000-piece puzzle with you,

and donated lots of money to your campaign.

Have I convinced you to let me open a DFC here?

-Ahh, sorry bro, no can do.

If there's one thing people know about Mayor Todd,

it's that I really dig funerals.

Plus, don't all the cremains

exploding into the atmosphere block the sun?

I mean, this is the Sunshine State, my dude!

-Of course. I understand.

-Valerie, dear, can I have a word?

Guess who gets to be the new mayor

of Fort whatever this place is.

-I just resigned as the mayor of San Antonio.

You promised that would be the last time!

Find a new puppet and leave me alone,

or I'm going to the police.

Also, I want a divorce.

-I see.

I guess I'll have to move on to another city alone.

But first, why don't you go have a fun ride with Mayor Todd?

-I don't know why you're always suggesting ATV rides

when that's how you lost your lower half.

So, does your penis work?

I'd like that in my next husband.

-[ Laughs ]

-Let's make some room in City Hall -- now!

[ Beep ]

[ Explosion ]

Welp, time to find a new puppet,

but this time, I won't marry her.

Too many strings attached.

-How we ever gonna find another woman

that desperate and easy to manipulate, boss?

-We're in Florida, Barry.

-Ref makes me sick.

-Right! The murdering!

The corruption! -Who cares about that!

The takeaway here is that everyone's calling me a puppet,

and I'm no puppet!

I'm the mayor of this town!

I'm shutting down the DFC!

I will get wine in the water fountains,

and you will get to Second Base!

-Yes!

-Ref Mazos, you're under arrest

for, like, totally killing at least two people.

-Trophy, you just made the biggest mistake of your life!

-Oh, please, you never saw my Ed Hardy phase.

You know, for someone without one, you're a real prick.

-[ Groans ] -So proud of you, Mom!

Are you gonna get rid of the no-crying law now?

-Yeah, but don't tell Pete yet.

♪♪

-Yeah.

-I'm so glad you don't have to move away anymore, Joey.

-Nope, and now we can move a little closer.

-Joey, is your finger going where I think it is?

-What? No!

I would ask you first.

[ Laughs ] -Ugh.

Time to get rid of this thing.

Thank you, Mrs. Mazos.

Your death was not in vain.

In fact, it led to something beautiful...

this.

♪♪

-♪ True love will find you in the end ♪

♪♪

♪ You'll find out just who was your friend ♪

♪♪

♪ Don't be sad ♪

♪♪