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1
00:00:03,620 --> 00:00:07,038
Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.
2
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,857
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
3
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,859
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
4
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,860
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
5
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,884
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
6
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,681
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
7
00:00:21,705 --> 00:00:22,732
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
8
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,038
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
9
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,985
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
10
00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:28,076
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
11
00:00:37,053 --> 00:00:38,987
3/4 of a mile at 11...
12
00:00:45,729 --> 00:00:46,778
Good morning, Ed.
13
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,146
Good morn.
14
00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:55,748
Ed, what happened
to the sports section?
15
00:00:55,772 --> 00:00:57,021
I'm reading it.
16
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,564
Hey, wait.
17
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,248
I'm not through yet.
18
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,451
You know I like to
read it with my coffee.
19
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,604
Well, I like to
read it with my hay.
20
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:13,989
Well, I'm sorry.
21
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,104
Why did you mark
the horse races?
22
00:01:18,128 --> 00:01:20,946
Oh, don't worry.
I'm not betting.
23
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:24,949
Hello, Roger.
24
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,379
Want me to get
you a cup of coffee?
25
00:01:26,403 --> 00:01:27,403
No, thanks.
26
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,172
Oh, what's this?
27
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,790
Are you playing the horses?
28
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:34,526
No, I even think the
merry-go-round is fixed.
29
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,555
Well, then who made
these selections?
30
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,307
Would you believe it if
I told you it was Mr. Ed?
31
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,765
Well, I'll tell you the truth.
32
00:01:45,789 --> 00:01:48,323
The little boy who
delivers the paper is a tout.
33
00:01:48,392 --> 00:01:50,125
Wilbur, you surprise me.
34
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:53,244
I thought you had more
sense than to play the races.
35
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,107
If you must throw
your money away,
36
00:01:55,131 --> 00:01:56,171
give it to your wife.
37
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,183
Believe me. I never gamble.
38
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:01,436
You know, I had a good friend
who lost a fortune on the races.
39
00:02:01,505 --> 00:02:02,971
Then he started drinking.
40
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,967
First, one bottle a
day, and then two.
41
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,242
Finally he was
buying it by the case.
42
00:02:07,311 --> 00:02:08,905
You know what
happened to that man?
43
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,345
Owns his own liquor store?
44
00:02:12,182 --> 00:02:14,115
Wasn't funny to my friend.
45
00:02:14,184 --> 00:02:17,435
He lost his family, his
business, his home.
46
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:20,389
They darn near kicked
him out of the Harvard Club.
47
00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:22,657
Look, Roger, I
appreciate you concern,
48
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:24,287
but believe me,
it isn't necessary.
49
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,812
Hello, girls.
50
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,542
How's the charity
drive coming along?
51
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:33,502
We've never had "no" said to
us in so many different ways.
52
00:02:33,571 --> 00:02:35,131
I never thought it
would be so hard
53
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:38,957
to collect money
for a milk fund.
54
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,892
How much did you get?
55
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,580
Uh, $40.
56
00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:47,048
Does that include the 20
I gave you this morning?
57
00:02:47,117 --> 00:02:48,649
Uh-huh.
58
00:02:48,718 --> 00:02:50,958
Does that include the 20
I gave you this morning?
59
00:02:52,789 --> 00:02:54,717
I guess we didn't
have such a good day.
60
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,708
Hey, I have a thought.
61
00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:59,794
Why not let Wilbur run
your $40 into a few thousand
62
00:02:59,863 --> 00:03:00,979
at the race track?
63
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,108
Race track?
64
00:03:02,132 --> 00:03:03,665
Wilbur, you don't...
65
00:03:03,733 --> 00:03:05,967
W-Wilbur have you been
betting on the horses?
66
00:03:06,036 --> 00:03:07,819
Of course not, honey.
67
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,338
Oh, no. He just marked
off these horses' names
68
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:11,534
because it's their birthday
69
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:13,598
and he wants to send
them some presents.
70
00:03:14,811 --> 00:03:16,028
Come, dear.
71
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,763
Wilbur, take my advice.
72
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:18,780
Forget the races.
73
00:03:18,849 --> 00:03:21,049
And, uh, just to
remove any temptation
74
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,552
I'll take this along with me.
75
00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:26,220
And, uh, incidentally,
you're saving a dime.
76
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,056
Yes, dear.
77
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:33,395
Well, how about Mabel?
78
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,677
Well, if you deduct
what we spent
79
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:40,168
for gas, stationery,
phone, and circulars
80
00:03:40,236 --> 00:03:44,339
our charity drive
has already lost $15.
81
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:46,875
Okay, thanks. Talk to you later.
82
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:52,647
May I come in?
83
00:03:52,715 --> 00:03:54,299
Oh, hi, Roger.
84
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,283
Is Wilbur here?
85
00:03:55,352 --> 00:03:56,301
He's upstairs.
86
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,135
Wilbur!
87
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,304
You must be excited
about his luck today.
88
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,490
What luck?
89
00:04:01,558 --> 00:04:05,010
Why, your husband
picked eight winners.
90
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,260
Eight winners?
91
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,329
At the race track.
92
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:08,574
Well, here. Look for yourself.
93
00:04:08,598 --> 00:04:11,015
Here are Wilbur's selections.
94
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,534
And here are the winners.
95
00:04:12,603 --> 00:04:13,685
Hi, Roger.
96
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:14,753
I'll be right back.
97
00:04:14,805 --> 00:04:18,323
Honey, you-you
picked eight winners.
98
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,307
Winners?
99
00:04:19,376 --> 00:04:20,975
Yes, at the race track.
100
00:04:21,044 --> 00:04:22,194
Oh, that's nice.
101
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:29,851
I picked eight winners?
102
00:04:29,919 --> 00:04:31,036
Here they are.
103
00:04:34,224 --> 00:04:35,507
What do you know?
104
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,508
Eight in a row.
105
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,827
Not bad.
106
00:04:42,466 --> 00:04:44,127
What am I so happy
about? I didn't bet.
107
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,084
Sure, kid.
108
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,153
I didn't.
109
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:52,590
Will you excuse me,
Roger. I-I've got to feed Ed.
110
00:04:57,780 --> 00:04:59,714
Is it possible he didn't bet?
111
00:04:59,783 --> 00:05:01,400
Oh, I'm sure he didn't.
112
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,167
You say that so calmly.
113
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,931
If I picked eight
winners and didn't bet,
114
00:05:04,955 --> 00:05:06,915
my wife would be
on her way to Reno.
115
00:05:11,327 --> 00:05:13,945
Ed, you picked eight winners.
116
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:17,232
Well, there were
only eight races.
117
00:05:19,937 --> 00:05:22,270
Ed, how did you get so lucky?
118
00:05:22,338 --> 00:05:23,388
Not luck.
119
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,423
Just horse sense.
120
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,826
You mean, you can
actually pick the horses?
121
00:05:27,878 --> 00:05:30,027
Better than you can pick people.
122
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,596
What's the secret?
123
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,581
How do you do it?
124
00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:33,798
Simple.
125
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,368
I see who's running
and I pick the best.
126
00:05:38,955 --> 00:05:40,617
How do you know so
much about horses?
127
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,858
Isn't that a stupid question?
128
00:05:45,329 --> 00:05:47,178
Yes, yes.
129
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,147
Eight winners. That's amazing.
130
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,216
I got a reward for you.
131
00:05:54,137 --> 00:05:57,221
Hey, neighbor. Let me
give you a hand with that.
132
00:05:57,290 --> 00:06:00,024
Well, thanks. I think I
can manage from here.
133
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,904
Well, if a man
can't help a friend,
134
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:02,928
what good is he?
135
00:06:02,979 --> 00:06:04,496
That's true.
136
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:05,747
Oh, by the way, Wilbur,
137
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,232
you know you were
just lucky today.
138
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,735
You could never pick
eight winners in a row again.
139
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:11,720
Yes, I could.
140
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:12,882
But what's the difference?
141
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:13,822
You don't play the races.
142
00:06:13,891 --> 00:06:15,131
No, no, no, no, of course not.
143
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,124
I'm just interested
144
00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:17,487
from the scientific
point of view.
145
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,877
Oh, oh.
146
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,056
Is that why you're being
so helpful this evening?
147
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,831
Oh, Wilbur, please.
148
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,905
Now, uh, just to satisfy me,
149
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,775
would you make some
selections for tomorrow?
150
00:06:33,844 --> 00:06:36,694
I would rather not, Roger.
151
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,363
Admit it. You were just lucky.
152
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:39,714
Once they get on the track,
153
00:06:39,783 --> 00:06:42,767
nobody can tell what these
stupid animals are liable to do.
154
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:47,823
Uh, look, Roger.
155
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:50,458
I don't...
156
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,062
Okay, Roger.
157
00:06:55,131 --> 00:06:58,049
You call out the list
of tomorrow's entries,
158
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,745
and I'll-I'll give
you the winners.
159
00:06:59,769 --> 00:07:00,718
Good.
160
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,254
First race. Esteban?
161
00:07:03,307 --> 00:07:04,239
No.
162
00:07:04,308 --> 00:07:05,456
Bleat Lady?
163
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:07,908
No.
164
00:07:07,977 --> 00:07:09,227
Sunny boy?
165
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:13,864
Sunny Boy? Uh, Sunny Boy?
166
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:18,698
Yeah, that's-that's the winner.
167
00:07:18,722 --> 00:07:19,671
Sunny Boy.
168
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:20,655
Sunny Boy?
169
00:07:20,723 --> 00:07:22,741
Well, he's 80 to 1.
170
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:24,309
According to this handicap,
171
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:27,195
he's never beaten
any of these other nags.
172
00:07:29,466 --> 00:07:33,551
Well, tomorrow he's
running for revenge.
173
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,837
I can hardly wait to
check the paper tonight.
174
00:07:35,905 --> 00:07:37,667
Then we'll see how
good you really are.
175
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,557
Now, the second race.
176
00:07:42,479 --> 00:07:44,473
Maybe the boy didn't
deliver the paper yet.
177
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:45,830
Could be up on the roof.
178
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,126
Kid's got a great pitching arm.
179
00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:48,767
Lots of speed but no control.
180
00:07:53,657 --> 00:07:54,906
Ah, here it is.
181
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:58,526
Yeah, now we'll cut you
down to size, my boy.
182
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,361
Roger, are you a sporting man?
183
00:08:00,430 --> 00:08:01,579
What do you have in mind?
184
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,248
If I picked eight winners again,
185
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,799
you carry me into the house.
186
00:08:04,868 --> 00:08:06,868
If I didn't, I carry you.
187
00:08:06,937 --> 00:08:08,319
You're on.
188
00:08:12,975 --> 00:08:15,443
You can put me
down here, driver.
189
00:08:15,512 --> 00:08:18,129
What on earth is going on?
190
00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:19,859
He never carried me
over the threshold.
191
00:08:19,883 --> 00:08:22,250
My dear, you never
picked eight horses in a row.
192
00:08:22,319 --> 00:08:23,618
Again?
193
00:08:23,687 --> 00:08:25,886
Yes, eight
yesterday, eight today.
194
00:08:25,955 --> 00:08:27,272
It's only 16 winners.
195
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:29,207
What's all the fuss about?
196
00:08:30,493 --> 00:08:32,660
Kay, how much money
do we have in the bank?
197
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,640
Oh, how fabulous!
We'll all be rich.
198
00:08:34,664 --> 00:08:36,347
My mink will be wearing sable.
199
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:39,200
Aladdin had his lamp,
we have our Wilbur.
200
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:42,120
I wonder when the new
model yachts come out.
201
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,005
How do you pick them?
202
00:08:44,074 --> 00:08:46,152
Yes, when did you find
out you had this power?
203
00:08:46,176 --> 00:08:47,609
Tell us, swami.
204
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:50,045
Okay, it all happened
two days ago.
205
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:52,580
I was sitting in the barn
concentrating on some sketches.
206
00:08:52,649 --> 00:08:53,981
All of the sudden,
207
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:56,684
I had a strange sensation.
208
00:08:56,753 --> 00:09:01,423
I found myself circling
horses on the sports page.
209
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,724
Too sour, too sour.
210
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,848
May I touch you?
211
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,862
Wilbur, what time do we
leave for the track tomorrow?
212
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,670
Why wait for tomorrow?
Aren't there any night races?
213
00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:17,155
Our milk drive.
214
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,923
Honey, if you pick a few horses,
215
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:20,686
we'll have all the
money we need.
216
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,750
Milk drive? Why, with
Wilbur on our side,
217
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,524
those kids are going to
be drinking champagne.
218
00:09:24,548 --> 00:09:28,266
Roger, I don't bet and I thought
you were opposed to gambling.
219
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,779
My boy, backing
you is not gambling.
220
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,497
It's hoarding. Now get
busy. Pick it, go ahead.
221
00:09:31,521 --> 00:09:32,536
Get him a pencil.
222
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,739
Pencil? Here,
Wilbur, take my pen.
223
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:35,724
Keep it. Go on.
224
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,825
I don't like to bet.
225
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,098
You bet for matchsticks,
we'll bet for money.
226
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,127
Honey, for the
charity drive, please.
227
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:52,440
Well, if it's for charity.
228
00:09:54,611 --> 00:09:56,538
I better go in the
barn and concentrate.
229
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:57,478
You want me to carry you?
230
00:09:57,547 --> 00:09:58,496
I'll help.
231
00:09:58,564 --> 00:09:59,564
Please.
232
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,018
What a brilliant man I married.
233
00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:06,187
Oh, he's not just
yours now, Carol.
234
00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:08,556
He belongs to the world.
235
00:10:10,394 --> 00:10:11,743
Hollywood Park.
236
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:12,726
5,000,000.
237
00:10:12,795 --> 00:10:14,579
Hialeah.
238
00:10:14,631 --> 00:10:16,380
5,000,000.
239
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:20,151
Hey, what do you mean you
can't pick any more winners?
240
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,070
I don't like betting for money.
241
00:10:22,139 --> 00:10:24,422
It's against my principles.
242
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:25,573
You got me into this.
243
00:10:25,641 --> 00:10:26,958
They think I have the power.
244
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,176
What can I tell them?
245
00:10:28,244 --> 00:10:30,578
Tell them you blew a fuse.
246
00:10:34,685 --> 00:10:35,685
Aqueduct.
247
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,835
Short season, 3,000,000.
248
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,053
Add them up.
249
00:10:41,257 --> 00:10:43,691
25,000,000.
250
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,343
Give the government 24,000,000.
251
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,746
Oh, well, easy come, easy go.
252
00:10:50,132 --> 00:10:51,832
Oh, back so soon?
253
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,001
Where are your selections?
254
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,619
I don't have them.
255
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,239
You-you... Oh, you left
them in your office, huh?
256
00:10:58,308 --> 00:10:59,935
I'll go get them. Here,
sit down, my boy.
257
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:01,076
Sit right here. Relax.
258
00:11:01,144 --> 00:11:05,012
Roger... I haven't got any.
259
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,264
You haven't?
260
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,916
Oh, you don't like
the horses today, huh?
261
00:11:08,985 --> 00:11:11,452
Well, that's all right. We'll
pick them some other day.
262
00:11:11,521 --> 00:11:14,639
You know, nothing lost except
the interest on the money.
263
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:17,591
Roger, I'm afraid I'm never
going to pick the horses again.
264
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,481
Roger, I'm... I must
have lost the knack.
265
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,783
I tried, but it just
wouldn't come.
266
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,021
Sorry, Roger.
267
00:11:38,014 --> 00:11:40,631
Why, darling, what's wrong?
268
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,301
We've been wiped out.
269
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,753
What? What happened?
270
00:11:45,822 --> 00:11:49,073
Now I know how Benedict
Arnold's wife must have felt.
271
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,842
Come, dear. We are not
in the house of a friend.
272
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:54,178
What happened...
Please, my dear.
273
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,513
I'm not well.
274
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,159
Just look at them.
275
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,494
I wish Roger would
start talking to Wilbur.
276
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,209
If only Wilbur would
let him win a few races.
277
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,251
Oh, it's not Wilbur's fault
278
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,669
he lost the knack
of picking horses.
279
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,588
Does he ever talk in his sleep?
280
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,089
Sometimes.
281
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,158
Well, if he ever
mumbles a long shot,
282
00:12:24,193 --> 00:12:25,209
jot it down.
283
00:12:32,868 --> 00:12:36,321
I just read about a
wonderful new spray for roses.
284
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:39,340
It's a home-made dust.
285
00:12:39,409 --> 00:12:42,927
You mix nine parts
of dusting sulfur
286
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,229
with one part of
arsenate of lead.
287
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,982
Who's going to
win the first race?
288
00:12:48,050 --> 00:12:49,951
I don't know.
289
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,602
Go play with your arsenate.
290
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:04,933
Huh-uh.
291
00:13:20,417 --> 00:13:21,349
Ed?
292
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,851
Huh-uh.
293
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,237
Ed, just one winner?
294
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:30,808
Just the seventh race?
295
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:31,793
The big one?
296
00:13:31,861 --> 00:13:34,028
No, I couldn't live with myself.
297
00:13:34,097 --> 00:13:36,096
Ed, please.
298
00:13:36,165 --> 00:13:39,417
May I quote you
from Oscar Wilde?
299
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,919
Oscar Wilde?
300
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:44,305
He does not win
who plays with sin.
301
00:13:44,374 --> 00:13:47,725
Well, I've got one for you.
302
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:50,561
He gets no dinner
who picks no winner.
303
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,597
What fool said that?
304
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:53,581
I did.
305
00:13:53,649 --> 00:13:56,100
I mean...
306
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:59,303
All right, I don't
need your help.
307
00:13:59,356 --> 00:14:02,974
I'll pick the seventh
race myself.
308
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:08,529
It's easy. Uh... Devil's Tail.
309
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,500
Is it going to win?
310
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,104
Is it going to lose?
311
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:19,907
Is it a horse?
312
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:24,145
I think we need some fresh air.
313
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,395
Oh, I guess I shouldn't
have volunteered
314
00:14:30,419 --> 00:14:31,869
to head our charity drive.
315
00:14:31,921 --> 00:14:34,166
Maybe one of the other
girls could do a better job.
316
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,424
Oh, don't blame
yourself, sweetie.
317
00:14:36,492 --> 00:14:37,986
It's the kids I'm
thinking about.
318
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:40,111
That milk fund's very
important to them.
319
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:42,413
Too bad we didn't make
some bets yesterday
320
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,266
when Wilbur picked
all those winners.
321
00:14:45,334 --> 00:14:47,179
Do you really think
he's lost his touch?
322
00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:48,730
Oh, he must have.
323
00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:50,699
He certainly wouldn't
refuse to pick winners
324
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,440
to help a cause like this.
325
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,978
Say, Wilbur.
326
00:14:58,047 --> 00:14:59,364
Yeah?
327
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:02,950
You should've told me
it was for the milk fund.
328
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:07,772
You're going to
pick today's winners?
329
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,390
Only for today.
330
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:11,492
Oh, thanks, Ed.
331
00:15:11,561 --> 00:15:14,912
Imagine picking Devil's Tail.
332
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:19,016
That horse will finish two
lengths behind his own tail.
333
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,501
Thanks, Ed.
334
00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:21,652
Stop it.
335
00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:25,056
Wait until I tell them.
336
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,119
There must be some
other way to make money.
337
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:29,360
Carol! Kay!
338
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,523
I've got the touch again.
339
00:15:30,547 --> 00:15:32,341
I'm going to pick
the winners today.
340
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,280
Oh, darling.
341
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,826
Oh, I'll tell Addison. Addi...
342
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,679
Thank heaven, you've
come home to us.
343
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,269
Aren't you angry at me anymore?
344
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,353
Golden boy.
345
00:15:39,422 --> 00:15:41,689
Was I ever angry with you?
346
00:15:47,963 --> 00:15:50,764
I'll need a few minutes
alone to make my selection.
347
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:51,953
Oh, of course, of course.
348
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:52,900
Everybody, out of the yard.
349
00:15:52,969 --> 00:15:53,917
My friend wants privacy.
350
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:54,902
Out, out, out.
351
00:15:54,971 --> 00:15:55,920
Ah, doll.
352
00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:57,305
Shh.
353
00:15:57,374 --> 00:16:00,424
Do you think I look better in
a blue yacht or a pink one?
354
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,026
Don't be chincy, dear.
355
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,444
Buy both.
356
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:10,251
In the eighth race, Big Blue...
357
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,337
Five pounds over at 118 pounds.
358
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,777
Uh, King's Ransom to
win. That's number 3.
359
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:22,964
Thank you.
360
00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:24,866
Number 3, or course.
361
00:16:24,934 --> 00:16:27,167
Buddy boy.
362
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:30,066
The horses are
approaching the starting gate.
363
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,090
Let's go, honey.
364
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,257
Oh, I hope we win.
365
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,544
Oh, I can see those mink
sails on my yacht now.
366
00:16:37,947 --> 00:16:39,141
Starting gate.
367
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,632
The flag is up.
368
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,402
And they're coming
around the turn.
369
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:46,654
It's Cliver in front.
370
00:16:46,723 --> 00:16:49,840
Followed by Blue
Boy, Windstorm...
371
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,258
Where are you going, honey?
372
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:53,560
I want to be first in line
to collect my money.
373
00:16:53,629 --> 00:16:55,529
We've got King's Ransom.
374
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:56,680
And he's dead last.
375
00:16:59,569 --> 00:17:00,784
Oh, I knew he couldn't do it.
376
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,653
Three days in a row.
377
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,842
And at the top of
the stretch it's Cliver.
378
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,651
Cliver moving on at
the round of the haul.
379
00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:08,709
Here comes King's Ransom.
380
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:12,480
It's King's Ransom
pulling ahead.
381
00:17:12,548 --> 00:17:15,083
Coming down the line,
and it's King's Ransom.
382
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,235
Wait for me, golden boy.
383
00:17:19,922 --> 00:17:23,140
Four winners in a
row and all long shots.
384
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,258
You're a genius.
385
00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:26,844
Four long shots in a row?
386
00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:28,779
What's he got in this one?
387
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,297
Lady's Choice. Can't lose.
388
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:32,299
Lady's Choice, please.
389
00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:34,546
Follow my friend's advice.
It's like stealing money.
390
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:35,786
Lady's Choice.
391
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:39,523
Likewise.
392
00:17:43,179 --> 00:17:45,123
Wilbur, aren't you
going to watch the race?
393
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,741
Why bother walking
back to the box?
394
00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:48,725
Let's just wait
here for our money.
395
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,419
He sure is confident, ain't he?
396
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:55,889
My friend, a bank would lend
you any amount on his predictions.
397
00:18:11,908 --> 00:18:13,274
Number 4, please.
398
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:16,627
Thank you.
399
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:17,744
Number 4.
400
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,065
Likewise.
401
00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:24,752
Likewise.
402
00:18:41,771 --> 00:18:45,906
Well, who's going to win
the next race, oh wise one?
403
00:18:45,975 --> 00:18:51,261
Oh, my, uh, my
selection is Blue Bell.
404
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,890
Blue Bell!
405
00:18:56,518 --> 00:18:58,478
Will you come along
with me, please?
406
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:06,443
Mr. Post, According
to Detective Weams
407
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,413
you picked six
long shots in a row.
408
00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:11,415
Is that against the law?
409
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,150
Oh, of course not.
410
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:15,219
But as steward of this track,
411
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,432
I am naturally curious
about your good fortune.
412
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:18,639
Naturally.
413
00:19:18,708 --> 00:19:21,525
Have you been getting
advice for any of the jockeys?
414
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:24,261
- No, sir.
- The owners? The trainers?
415
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,281
Then who has been advising you?
416
00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:31,469
My horse.
417
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:36,807
Mr. Post, you
promised to cooperate.
418
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:40,160
Will you please tell us who
has been giving you these tips.
419
00:19:40,229 --> 00:19:41,345
Ed.
420
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,663
Ed who?
421
00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:44,799
My horse doesn't
have a last name.
422
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:49,102
He must have a last name.
423
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,568
I see that we're not
getting anywhere.
424
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:55,075
Gentlemen, I can
clear this whole thing up
425
00:19:55,144 --> 00:19:56,560
with one phone call.
426
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,012
May I use your phone.
427
00:19:58,081 --> 00:19:59,921
- Go right ahead.
- Thank you.
428
00:20:08,991 --> 00:20:10,457
Post residence.
429
00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:12,176
Hello, Ed. It's me.
430
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,477
I'm at the race track.
431
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,531
Ed, isn't it true
432
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,840
that you've been giving
me all the winners today?
433
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:24,721
Sure, I gave you
all the winners.
434
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,324
Hello, this is
Mr. Gray, the steward.
435
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,308
Who is this?
436
00:20:28,377 --> 00:20:30,510
Mr. Ed, the horse.
437
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,434
I don't know what
you're doing, Post,
438
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,554
but whatever it is, stop it.
439
00:20:40,622 --> 00:20:41,672
Yes.
440
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:49,296
Oh, if either of you gentlemen
want to bet the seventh race,
441
00:20:49,365 --> 00:20:50,792
the winner will be
Prince Charming.
442
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:51,966
Prince Charming?
443
00:20:52,035 --> 00:20:53,250
Yes, my horse just told me
444
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:55,586
that Mrs. Prince Charming
had a baby last week,
445
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:58,705
so he'll be trying
to win for the kid.
446
00:21:04,948 --> 00:21:06,196
What happened to your friend?
447
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,666
Yeah, who are we going
to bet on the seventh race?
448
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:09,934
I don't know.
449
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,919
Oh, yes, I do. Here he is.
450
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:15,389
Quiet! Quiet!
451
00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:18,259
Please, cut, everybody. Please.
452
00:21:18,328 --> 00:21:19,926
Uh...
453
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:23,881
It is Prince Charming.
454
00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:25,813
Prince Charming!
455
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:35,542
Attention, Prince
Charming, number 7
456
00:21:35,611 --> 00:21:37,144
has been declared.
457
00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:40,197
Hey, did you hear that?
458
00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:42,933
Prince Charming was declared.
What's your next choice?
459
00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:46,153
Please, please, please.
460
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,221
Don't panic.
461
00:21:48,290 --> 00:21:50,991
My goodness, there's plenty
of money for everybody.
462
00:21:51,077 --> 00:21:53,744
Well, Wilbur?
463
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:54,728
I don't know.
464
00:21:54,797 --> 00:21:57,548
Prince Charming
was my only choice.
465
00:21:57,616 --> 00:22:00,751
Oh, come on. You got to
have some other one you like.
466
00:22:00,803 --> 00:22:03,003
Look at all the horses
that are running.
467
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,004
Come on.
468
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:07,942
Gentlemen, he has
circled Devil's Tail.
469
00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:09,810
Devil's Tail!
470
00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:16,695
The horses are
at the starting gate.
471
00:22:16,719 --> 00:22:19,086
The big race is going
to start pretty soon.
472
00:22:19,155 --> 00:22:20,788
The girls had better hurry back.
473
00:22:20,857 --> 00:22:22,935
What's the rush?
We didn't bet this race.
474
00:22:22,959 --> 00:22:25,158
We put all our
winnings on Devil's Tail.
475
00:22:25,227 --> 00:22:26,377
Well, that's right.
476
00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:28,746
I may sell my house
and move into my bank.
477
00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:30,147
What did you do?
478
00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:31,710
Who told you to
bet on Devil's Tail?
479
00:22:31,734 --> 00:22:33,083
I did.
480
00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:36,103
I borrowed your
newspaper from your pocket.
481
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:38,922
That horse can't win.
482
00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:40,507
I picked it myself this morning.
483
00:22:40,576 --> 00:22:42,376
You picked all of them, darling.
484
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:44,005
And they're off and running.
485
00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:49,578
You shouldn't have
bet on Devil's Tail.
486
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:50,850
He hasn't got a chance.
487
00:22:50,919 --> 00:22:52,864
Out in front, it's Devil's Tail
488
00:22:52,888 --> 00:22:54,371
on top by one length.
489
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,958
It's six winners. How
greedy can you...
490
00:22:58,027 --> 00:23:00,744
It's Devil's Tail by one length.
491
00:23:01,964 --> 00:23:03,730
Remember, I-I picked him.
492
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:05,149
All by myself.
493
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:08,035
It's Devil's Tale,
now by five lengths.
494
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:11,266
I was just sitting in
the office, you know.
495
00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:12,907
Nobody helped me.
496
00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:16,393
Just by sheer logic I
decided to take on Devil's Tail.
497
00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:20,764
And here come Silk
Lady on the outside.
498
00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:23,217
She's closing
in on Devil's Tail.
499
00:23:23,285 --> 00:23:28,055
Coming around the
corner, it's Silk Lady.
500
00:23:28,124 --> 00:23:31,241
Silk Lady, by half a length.
501
00:23:33,479 --> 00:23:35,519
We have a winner,
and it's Silk Lady.
502
00:23:44,824 --> 00:23:47,207
Well, you can't win them all.
503
00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:02,873
I can't bear to think of it.
504
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:06,193
My pretty, blue yacht
sank in the seventh race.
505
00:24:06,261 --> 00:24:08,662
My 12 apartment buildings.
506
00:24:08,731 --> 00:24:10,864
Think of all that money
507
00:24:10,933 --> 00:24:13,717
we could've had
for that milk fund.
508
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,702
Oh, wait a minute, honey.
509
00:24:16,939 --> 00:24:19,606
Here's some money
for your milk fund.
510
00:24:19,675 --> 00:24:23,059
Wh-wh-where did
you get all this money?
511
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,879
I didn't bet on
the seventh race.
512
00:24:25,948 --> 00:24:27,331
You didn't?
513
00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:29,733
My mother didn't raise
me to be a gambler.
514
00:24:31,203 --> 00:24:33,020
Oh, Wilbur.
515
00:24:33,088 --> 00:24:34,655
Right there. Right there.
516
00:24:40,112 --> 00:24:43,263
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
517
00:24:43,332 --> 00:24:45,443
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
518
00:24:45,467 --> 00:24:47,734
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
519
00:24:47,803 --> 00:24:49,848
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
520
00:24:49,872 --> 00:24:51,872
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
521
00:24:51,941 --> 00:24:54,051
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
522
00:24:54,075 --> 00:24:55,170
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
523
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:56,476
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
524
00:24:56,545 --> 00:24:58,423
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
525
00:24:58,447 --> 00:25:00,547
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
526
00:25:00,616 --> 00:25:02,549
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
527
00:25:02,618 --> 00:25:04,652
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
528
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,703
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
529
00:25:06,772 --> 00:25:08,872
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
530
00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:11,141
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
531
00:25:11,193 --> 00:25:13,254
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
532
00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:15,896
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
533
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:19,616
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
534
00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:23,554
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
535
00:25:28,427 --> 00:25:31,427
This has been a Filmways
television presentation.
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