All language subtitles for Breaking Bear s01e03 Straight Outta Boone City

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,039 --> 00:00:17,940 Previously on Breaking Bear. 2 00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,880 Our mission is to save the forest. 3 00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:24,180 Now come on, let's whip us up some meth. 4 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:25,620 I have an idea. 5 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,820 Honey, not meth. 6 00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:34,080 We are the only meth distributors in this area. We want the formula for your 7 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,080 honey, not meth. 8 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,820 Never. Well, then we keep you in this cage and we watch you starve when we 9 00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:40,900 smoke all your shit. 10 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:48,080 Fuck! Now that you know me, I am Badass Bear! 11 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,480 Oh, fuck. 12 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:54,260 No one fucking deals meth without the permission of us bears. 13 00:00:54,580 --> 00:00:58,640 We motherfucking Badass Bears now rule this fucking town! 14 00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:09,990 I'm on the scene where an arsonist has struck again. Word is that members of a 15 00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:13,990 beloved local Aryan group were reduced to ashes in the fire. 16 00:01:14,410 --> 00:01:16,990 Makes you wonder, could your home be next? 17 00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:19,310 Could it? 18 00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:24,330 That was our home, you pissant. The whole world knows we got our asses 19 00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:25,750 kicked. You know what that means? 20 00:01:26,310 --> 00:01:27,910 We can do a GoFundMe? 21 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:50,988 Port 1K. 22 00:01:50,990 --> 00:01:52,690 I got sicked by a client. 23 00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:57,490 Well, we can't let that happen. We need everyone to know you don't fuck with the 24 00:01:57,490 --> 00:01:58,490 bears. 25 00:01:58,770 --> 00:01:59,850 I'll handle this. 26 00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:03,490 Jer, no more dead humans. 27 00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:04,750 You're not the boss of me. 28 00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:06,890 Come on, everyone. Follow the leader. 29 00:02:11,290 --> 00:02:12,790 Okay, here you go, guys. Come on. 30 00:02:13,650 --> 00:02:16,610 Don't crowd each other. Watch how tough I can be. 31 00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:20,180 Listen, motherfucker, you owe us $1,000. 32 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,960 We want that, but... Wow! 33 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,380 Look at all these pretty fish. 34 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:29,120 What's this one called? 35 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:33,300 Oh, yeah, that's very rare. That's a priceless dragonfish. 36 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,759 Can I feed one? 37 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:35,760 What the fuck? 38 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,200 That's your late payment penalty, asshole. 39 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:44,360 Now pay the fucking money you owe. Yeah, I don't have it. 40 00:02:44,590 --> 00:02:46,410 You think you can mess with us? 41 00:02:48,290 --> 00:02:49,290 No! 42 00:02:52,810 --> 00:02:53,810 Delicious. 43 00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:55,830 My brother loves fish. 44 00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:57,210 He could do this all day. 45 00:02:57,530 --> 00:02:59,050 Hold on, hold on. Fuck! 46 00:02:59,270 --> 00:03:00,310 Fuck me, man! 47 00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:03,210 Don't ever stiff us again, or... No! 48 00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:05,270 Jared, that's a piranha! 49 00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:10,010 You stupid fucking bear! Leave Chewie alone! 50 00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:11,850 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 51 00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:13,030 He's not like... 52 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:47,720 Listen, you can't keep living in my RV. It smells like stale meth, wet bears, 53 00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:48,920 and dead fish farts. 54 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,320 Oh, god. 55 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:55,260 That was actually your friend Wink. You ate Wink three days ago. 56 00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:56,700 Three humans ago. 57 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,980 What? I have sluggish plumbing. 58 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:03,420 Turns out that human flesh, although delicious, contains very little fiber. 59 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,700 Please don't throw us out. I've really grown to love this place. It feels like 60 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:11,000 home. It's all warm and messy. 61 00:05:12,970 --> 00:05:13,970 I have an idea. 62 00:05:16,290 --> 00:05:18,170 So you want to move to Squirrel Valley, do you? 63 00:05:18,590 --> 00:05:22,150 Everyone wants to be a squirrel. Just look at our tails. So beautiful. So 64 00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:23,150 bushy. 65 00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:27,170 Man, we are good looking. Oh, especially you, Sal. 66 00:05:27,390 --> 00:05:29,090 Do I have consent to touch your tail? 67 00:05:29,350 --> 00:05:31,730 Touch it, baby. You know you want to. Just touch it. Touch it. I give you 68 00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:33,350 consent. Touch, touch, touch the tail. 69 00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:44,600 Not to interrupt, but we were wondering if maybe you have, like, a hidden cave 70 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:45,860 somewhere where we could crash. 71 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:54,040 We squirrels don't align ourselves with large predators. 72 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:57,640 That's why bears and wolves aren't allowed in Squirrel Valley. It's nothing 73 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,320 personal. I'm sure you're all very nice, but we just don't like bears. 74 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,740 The only thing we like is nuts. You like nuts? 75 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:23,460 hour this morning no no no no no no no no it's coming from over here what could 76 00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:30,080 this nutty concoction be no no no no no you don't want that hey 77 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:34,660 give that back you don't want to eat that 78 00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:54,640 I feel like my brain works for the first time. 79 00:06:55,220 --> 00:07:00,000 I believe I could accomplish something besides collecting nuts. 80 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:04,080 Why are they acting like that? Do you know what Adderall is? 81 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,920 It amps normal people up and it calms hyper people down. 82 00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:10,160 Math must calm hyper squirrels down. 83 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:17,480 You know, if you bears want to stick around, we have an amazing hidden 84 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,460 place where no one will find you. 85 00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:23,740 We will rent it to you if you pay us with... Meth! 86 00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:25,200 Meth! Meth! 87 00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:26,500 Meth! Meth! 88 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:27,800 Meth! 89 00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:28,860 Hey, 90 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,320 wait for me. 91 00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:31,540 What's this? 92 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:36,060 It is a place where wolves, frackers, and rangers will never find you. 93 00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:42,380 Oh, this place is sick, y'all. 94 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,940 Yeah, Jeff really has an eye for interior design. 95 00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:47,460 Jeff? 96 00:07:49,909 --> 00:07:52,090 Now, about our payment. 97 00:07:52,350 --> 00:07:53,350 Of course. 98 00:07:53,510 --> 00:07:54,510 Here's your meth. 99 00:07:55,370 --> 00:07:57,070 Huh? Hey! Let go! 100 00:07:57,890 --> 00:07:58,890 Alistair, no. 101 00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:00,230 Here's your own supply. 102 00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:02,710 Hey, what did you promise me? 103 00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:06,090 I wouldn't snort, smoke, or eat meth ever again. 104 00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:07,290 You better not. 105 00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:12,330 Well, I'd better get to school. I just finished these audition flyers for my 106 00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:16,950 new musical, and I can hardly wait to hand them out. Take one. Get the word 107 00:08:16,950 --> 00:08:17,950 out. 108 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:20,180 It's a good thing he has meth cooking as a backup. 109 00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:22,140 Oh, yeah. 110 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,680 Mmm, yeah. 111 00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:27,460 Hmm. This guy Jeff has very interesting taste in books. 112 00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:29,120 Looks like they're all YA. 113 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:31,300 Who would read a book with only two letters? 114 00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,020 That's young adult, you idiot. 115 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,080 I only read porno mags. 116 00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:38,620 Hollowed books. 117 00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:39,900 Just like Jer's library. 118 00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:49,570 Why does he need all these massage tables? 119 00:08:49,850 --> 00:08:51,190 And blow-up dolls. 120 00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:53,450 What? 121 00:08:54,730 --> 00:08:56,850 Wait, is that Bill Clinton in drag? 122 00:08:57,650 --> 00:09:00,490 Whoever lives here isn't your average bear. 123 00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:03,870 Sorry, guys. That painting's turning me on. 124 00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:05,670 You two take your tour. 125 00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:07,830 Head honcho here is going to need the room. 126 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,550 Bill. 127 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,130 Talk to me, Bill. 128 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:42,520 Johnny, did you hear? 129 00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:45,500 That fiery footage sent the ratings through the roof. 130 00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:47,400 But now you need to top it. 131 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,600 What's scarier than a fire? 132 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:53,060 What about that story about the bears eating people? 133 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,120 That's not a real threat. I made it up. 134 00:09:58,720 --> 00:09:59,740 Mom, I'm at work. 135 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:04,119 He's missing? 136 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,700 Again? Who cares? He's a drug addict. 137 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,860 I bet the audience would care. 138 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,700 Star reporters family member missing. 139 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,020 Who is stealing America's beloved siblings? 140 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:23,980 Could it happen to you? It did happen to me. 141 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:31,840 Sorry, 142 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,280 Mr. President. It's just some cream filling. 143 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,000 I'll just wipe that off like it never happened. 144 00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:42,600 If you'll excuse me, after I ejaculate, I got to evacuate. 145 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,860 Wow! Wow! 146 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,360 Wow! Wow! 147 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,080 World, behold my beautiful bear poo! 148 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,460 Wait a minute. Bear poo? 149 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:01,760 Poo bear? 150 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:02,940 Winnie the Pooh Bear? 151 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,800 Who names a children's cartoon character after bear duty? 152 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,220 Are Disney groomers trying to get kids into kinky scat play? 153 00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:14,820 I salute you for service bravely battling your way out of my colon. 154 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,680 Bye, bear poo! 155 00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:35,510 Did someone decide to... Surprise me and make my favorite dish, mole? 156 00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:41,870 Oh, that's not mole, but I recognize the taste. What is it? 157 00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,450 Pot roast with a brown gravy sauce? 158 00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:53,430 Chocolate pudding? No, more pungent, like stilton blue cheese. So familiar, 159 00:11:53,830 --> 00:11:56,470 but... It's bear shit, you fool. 160 00:11:57,610 --> 00:12:00,190 But it came from Squirrel Valley. 161 00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:01,490 You idiot. 162 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,040 Bears must be hiding there. 163 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:07,960 There's only one solution for this, my son. 164 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:13,700 We declare war on Squirrel Valley and kill the bears. 165 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,640 Who is with me? 166 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:29,700 Kids, you know the drama club almost lost funding last year. I decided we 167 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:30,920 need to do something bigger. 168 00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:32,370 More dramatic. 169 00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:37,850 Something that, if I raise just a little more money, and I plan to, could take us 170 00:12:37,850 --> 00:12:38,850 to Broadway. 171 00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:42,610 What show are we doing, Mr. Solter? 172 00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:46,710 Well, I analyzed what Broadway critics liked, and I discovered two things. 173 00:12:46,990 --> 00:12:52,850 One, movie adaptations. And two, multicultural stories about racism. 174 00:12:53,310 --> 00:12:57,990 So, I optioned the rights for us to do the Robert F. Kennedy Jr. 175 00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:00,510 Junior High School production of... 176 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:08,800 Please note, I corrected the grammar straight out of Compton. I can only get 177 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,540 the rights to the story, not the rap music, so it'll feature all original 178 00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:16,880 songs written by me. I'm adding in a prologue with a drive-by shooting to 179 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,140 explain why most of you are in wheelchairs. 180 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:23,620 But the drama club only has three black students, and I'm a stage manager, not 181 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:24,479 an actor. 182 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,680 Frances Oliver, do you know what's hot on Broadway? 183 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,180 Colorblind casting. 184 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,800 If Lin-Manuel Miranda can play Alexander Hamilton... 185 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:37,660 Why can't I have Johnny Cole play Snoop Dogg and Bobby Daughtry play Iced Tea? 186 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:43,840 Iced Tea wasn't an N.W.A. That was Ice Cube. I know that. I loved Ice Cube's 187 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:44,960 acting on Law & Order. 188 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:51,720 And so everybody knows I've watched Get Out six times. So I feel uniquely 189 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:56,080 connected to the African-American experience and convinced there is no one 190 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,160 more qualified to tell this story than me. 191 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:10,530 I'm jonesing so bad and all I have are these crappy YA books to distract me. 192 00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:14,470 They're all about teenagers and these pages are stuck together. 193 00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:18,010 Hey, I have a passion for teen literature. 194 00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:22,950 Hey, you must be the guy that lives here. Call me Jeff. 195 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,830 Cocktail? 196 00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:26,410 I'm underage. 197 00:14:27,709 --> 00:14:31,610 Oh, Alistair, just warms my heart to hear those two words together. 198 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:36,910 Underage. You know my name? I can hear everything on the surveillance system. 199 00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:46,850 I know, I know, you're on the run, I'm your last resort, squirrel sent you 200 00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:49,570 here, yadda, yadda, yadda. Trust me, I'd be upset too. 201 00:14:49,870 --> 00:14:52,870 No, I'm upset because my siblings are ruining my life. 202 00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:54,490 Really? 203 00:14:54,730 --> 00:14:57,930 Tell Uncle Jeffy all about it. They've banned me from meth. 204 00:14:58,170 --> 00:14:59,170 Good luck with that. 205 00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:03,010 Listen, Alistair, they'll never understand folks like us. 206 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:07,550 What? You like methamphetamine, too? No. But I know how it feels when the one 207 00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:10,610 thing you love doing is something the whole world thinks is wrong. 208 00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:12,490 Good news! 209 00:15:12,630 --> 00:15:13,630 There's an easy solve. 210 00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:15,070 Kill them. 211 00:15:15,670 --> 00:15:16,670 Wait, what? 212 00:15:16,930 --> 00:15:18,030 My brother and sister? 213 00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:21,370 Or I could. The fat one would make a great rug. 214 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:25,140 I've needed a new rug since Leo's date got her period on the last one. 215 00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:29,780 Thought enough about me. Tell me more about this pre-teen musical. 216 00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:37,760 Kill them, don't kill them. Kill them, don't kill them. 217 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:42,060 I know that smell. Oh, yeah, smoke it, baby. 218 00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:45,380 Alistair, we have just reached a... 219 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:50,740 Impass in our discussion on dialectical materialism. As members of the 220 00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:54,720 Squireletariat, when we collect and store nuts, do you think we're 221 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,740 recreating capitalism's worship of the banker? 222 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:04,800 Can I have a little meth? We were just reading this philosophical discussion of 223 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:05,800 morals. 224 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:11,240 Recalling that you promised your sister you would not do meth, as moral 225 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:15,680 creatures, I... I don't think we can share this meth with you. 226 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:22,600 But in his oath, he stated he wouldn't snort, smoke, or eat meth ever 227 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,600 again, which creates a moral loophole. 228 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:30,260 A loophole? I'd call it the poophole loophole. 229 00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:34,840 The poophole loophole. 230 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,260 This place is such a maze. 231 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,860 Oh, that's where the toilets are. 232 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,740 Sorry, maybe next time. 233 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,960 Hello. A gift basket? 234 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,980 To Jer from your host, Jeff. 235 00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:00,880 You shouldn't have, Jeffy. 236 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,120 A pocket pussy? 237 00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:04,619 No. Two? 238 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:09,760 No, no. Three? In small, medium, and large. The little one's Kendall. 239 00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:11,099 I'm a model. 240 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:12,770 The big one's Kim. 241 00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:14,450 Let's make a porno. 242 00:17:14,710 --> 00:17:17,369 And the just right one is Kylie. 243 00:17:17,630 --> 00:17:19,550 I have my own chat. 244 00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:24,550 Nobody get jealous, because if I could, I would use you all at once. 245 00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:26,990 Maybe I can. 246 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,210 Oh, you found my welcome gift. 247 00:17:31,430 --> 00:17:32,430 I did. Thank you. 248 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,790 I'm Jer, by the way. 249 00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:39,790 I know. I was just bringing this one for your sister. 250 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,510 Oh, it's so big. 251 00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:46,330 Much bigger than mine. I just assumed she was your leader because of the way 252 00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:49,030 she talks down to you. You assumed wrong. 253 00:17:49,430 --> 00:17:50,430 I'm the leader. 254 00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:51,650 You would think, right? 255 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:53,310 You're older, larger. 256 00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,350 The only reason she'd be in charge is that she was smarter. 257 00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:57,529 She's not. 258 00:17:57,530 --> 00:18:02,390 She's very small-minded, overly focused on saving the forest. I'm the big 259 00:18:02,390 --> 00:18:03,289 picture guy. 260 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:07,470 See, once I make enough money, I'll buy a private island where I'll have sex 261 00:18:07,470 --> 00:18:09,030 with whatever I want. 262 00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:10,710 Go on. 263 00:18:10,870 --> 00:18:14,790 I'll have my own airline stewardesses, and to pay for all the catering, I'll 264 00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:19,410 invite famous people, film them in compromising positions, then blackmail 265 00:18:19,410 --> 00:18:24,670 them. Now, I know that's a little pie in the sky, but Jeff, isn't vision the true 266 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:25,670 sign of leadership? 267 00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:29,770 You're more than a leader, Jeff. You are my long-lost twin. 268 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,110 Twinsies? 269 00:18:31,450 --> 00:18:37,410 Really? Sure. Look at me. King-shamed, imprisoned, forced to fake my own death. 270 00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:42,440 But... Don't feel bad for me. I'm living my best life in this bunker. I even 271 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,540 built a secret sex dungeon downstairs. 272 00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:47,740 Sex dungeon, you say? 273 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:53,020 Where I can do whatever I want without bossy pants like your sister judging me. 274 00:18:58,700 --> 00:18:59,320 Wait 275 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:05,960 a minute, 276 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,010 Jeff. Famous people, bunker, YA. 277 00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:11,750 This is Jeffrey Epstein's bunker. 278 00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:15,710 Behold, the source of unsurpassed pleasure. 279 00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:20,510 Don't let the bells, whistles, and premium Italian leather scare you. This 280 00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:22,930 machine provides the ultimate orgasm. 281 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,970 Go on, get up there. You know you want to. 282 00:19:27,610 --> 00:19:30,550 Whee! Oh, goody, goody, goody. 283 00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:34,370 I don't get it. 284 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:36,840 This is too complicated. 285 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:40,060 I'm losing my boner. Oh, for fuck's sake. 286 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,820 I'll show you how to do it. 287 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:46,100 You step to the edge, then I'll host you up by pushing that button. 288 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,880 What button? This button? 289 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,220 No! Put me down! 290 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:51,279 It's a demo! 291 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,720 Uh, hang in there, Twinsy. I'll figure it out. 292 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:58,600 Dying! 293 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,520 Dying? That's my safe word. Don't tell me it's yours, too. 294 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,820 Wow, we really are twinsies. 295 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,960 Uh, uh-oh. Eh, looks like I broke it. Where's the manual? 296 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,120 Ah, got it. 297 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:15,360 Oh, no. 298 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:16,660 It's not in English. 299 00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:20,240 Fucking illiterate. 300 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,400 Uh, 301 00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:27,500 Jeff, while it's true I prefer pictograms, I thought we agreed that 302 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,660 this was a safe place without judgment. 303 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,080 Aleister! Jer! 304 00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:34,710 Where are you? 305 00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:38,750 I am a badass bear! 306 00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:43,450 You smoked meth after you promised you wouldn't. No, bitch. 307 00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,050 I'm a promise keeper. 308 00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:50,870 I promised I wouldn't snort, smoke, or eat meth, and I didn't. Then how did 309 00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:52,710 you... The poophole loophole. 310 00:20:53,130 --> 00:20:56,270 Okay, Alistair, I need you to focus. 311 00:20:56,730 --> 00:21:00,170 We have to get out of here. The guy who owns this place... Say one bad thing 312 00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:05,290 about Jack, I will vaporize you! Like he's a pedo? Oh, no wonder he was so 313 00:21:05,290 --> 00:21:07,090 into Dwight's high school musical. 314 00:21:08,990 --> 00:21:12,430 What is going on? 315 00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:16,030 Uh, well, Kendall shorted out and electrocuted my junk. 316 00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:19,270 I think she's still mad at me for forgetting our anniversary. 317 00:21:19,790 --> 00:21:20,910 Who the fuck is Kendall? 318 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,140 Dude, I don't mean to yuck your yum, but gross. 319 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,760 He can't hear you. I think he's dead. 320 00:21:30,020 --> 00:21:31,020 Jer, come on. 321 00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:35,500 He is a monster who had a private island of sex slaves where he would tape 322 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,900 powerful, famous people and blackmail them. 323 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:42,580 What? He stole my idea? Leave him here to die, asshole. 324 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,240 Oh, I bet I could find him if I hack into his Find My Phone app. 325 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,540 Hmm, what's his password? 326 00:21:51,420 --> 00:21:52,259 His birthday? 327 00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:54,060 Oh, I'm blanking on the date. 328 00:21:54,660 --> 00:21:55,660 Oh, wait. 329 00:21:56,260 --> 00:21:59,740 I'm his twin. Our birthdays should be very, very similar. 330 00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:04,060 Nope. Oh, he's a few minutes older. 331 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,700 I'm in. It looks like he was last seen in Daniel Boone's state forest. 332 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:16,160 Mom, there are bear tracks all over here. How are we ever supposed to find 333 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,120 them? They're around here somewhere. 334 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,420 Mark our new territory. 335 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,200 Oh, talk about a bear shitting in the woods. 336 00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:30,340 Mom! What is this? 337 00:22:30,860 --> 00:22:32,700 Sure smells like bamboo. 338 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,500 Some kind of magical piece of corn? 339 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,020 I will personally pee on it. 340 00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:41,800 I'm narrowing in on my brother's location. 341 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:47,420 No people for miles. Nothing but rocks, trees, and wolves. 342 00:22:48,110 --> 00:22:51,270 Why are wild animals allowed to roam our forests? 343 00:22:57,050 --> 00:22:58,210 Come on, Jer. 344 00:22:58,450 --> 00:22:59,670 The wolves are out. 345 00:22:59,990 --> 00:23:03,990 Stop pouting about your little buddy Jeff's autoerotic asphyxiation accident, 346 00:23:04,170 --> 00:23:08,770 OK? I know I said we needed to get out earlier, but the bunker is ours now. 347 00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:13,330 And it's safer in there than it is out here waiting to be eaten by wolves. 348 00:23:13,570 --> 00:23:14,830 Yeah, and it's getting dark. 349 00:23:15,050 --> 00:23:16,750 We've got to get back to the bunker, guys. 350 00:23:17,180 --> 00:23:18,180 Okay. 351 00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:27,440 Smells like wolf pith. No, they wouldn't dare come here. 352 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:29,020 Unless they're declaring war. 353 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:32,180 Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it spelled out in writing. 354 00:23:35,660 --> 00:23:39,920 Wh-o-w-wh-o-r. 355 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,440 Whore. Who's a whore? That. 356 00:23:42,890 --> 00:23:43,890 War, idiot. 357 00:23:44,170 --> 00:23:47,650 Oh, those poor little meth-head squirrels. Check to see if they took 358 00:23:47,650 --> 00:23:48,629 anything. 359 00:23:48,630 --> 00:23:51,070 My three girls are safe! 360 00:23:53,730 --> 00:23:54,730 Wait, it's gone. 361 00:23:55,030 --> 00:23:59,610 That is where I hid the meth. Right in the spot I'd never look. Those damn 362 00:23:59,610 --> 00:24:02,930 wolves took it. Oh, it's payback time. 363 00:24:03,570 --> 00:24:08,190 The Daniel Boone State Forest was the last place my brother's phone pinged. 364 00:24:08,430 --> 00:24:09,870 What happened to him? 365 00:24:10,090 --> 00:24:14,590 Have you seen this perfectly harmless... Relatively good looking man. 366 00:24:14,790 --> 00:24:18,170 If so, please call 555-HELP-METH. 367 00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:20,710 555-HELP-METH. 368 00:24:23,150 --> 00:24:24,150 Meth. 369 00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:28,490 Squirrels. Wolves. So many violent creatures. 370 00:24:28,790 --> 00:24:33,570 Meth! I can't believe the wolves took our meth. 371 00:24:34,910 --> 00:24:38,330 I said I can't believe the wolves took our meth! 372 00:24:42,570 --> 00:24:44,290 My mask. 27522

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