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1
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:03,875
[Karen laughing]
2
00:00:03,918 --> 00:00:06,619
Yeah, you're a wicked
little schoolboy
3
00:00:06,662 --> 00:00:09,320
to be talking to me like this
in the middle of a work day.
4
00:00:11,107 --> 00:00:14,156
I'm gonna make you stay after
school and bang the erasers.
5
00:00:16,988 --> 00:00:23,175
OK, OK, yeah. Yeah,
you like it rough. Don't you,
you dirty little monkey?
6
00:00:23,219 --> 00:00:26,486
Yeah. Next time I see you,
I'm gonna bend you
over my knee--
7
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:32,411
Oh, crap, I gotta go.
Mom and Mom are home.
8
00:00:34,415 --> 00:00:37,290
Now we know how she's making
that extra $2.95 per minute.
9
00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:43,912
You know, you talk
a lot of trash about
that husband of yours,
10
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,786
but when you get
right down to it,
11
00:00:45,829 --> 00:00:47,659
you two still have
the hots for each other.
12
00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:52,539
Yeah... Yeah, we do.
13
00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:54,892
But that wasn't Stan.
That was your boyfriend,
Nicholas something.
14
00:00:58,682 --> 00:01:02,429
Nicholas?
Nicholas is an ex-boyfriend.
15
00:01:02,473 --> 00:01:04,868
Honey, with you, I thought
the "ex" was implied.
16
00:01:07,222 --> 00:01:09,574
He flew into town this weekend.
He can't wait to see you.
17
00:01:09,617 --> 00:01:11,621
Which I guess would make
you his layover.
18
00:01:14,236 --> 00:01:16,545
"Grace Adler is now
ready for boarding.
19
00:01:18,157 --> 00:01:20,292
Buckle up. There's bound
to be some turbulence."
20
00:01:20,336 --> 00:01:22,992
What are you, ten?
21
00:01:23,036 --> 00:01:25,259
So who is this sexy
exie, anyway?
22
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:28,352
He's a cellist
with the Boston Symphony.
23
00:01:28,395 --> 00:01:30,312
We went out for a little while
a couple of years ago.
24
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:32,796
It was, uh, interesting.
25
00:01:32,839 --> 00:01:34,843
Grace is just being modest.
It was terrible.
26
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,673
For six weeks, all you guys
did was fight like cats.
27
00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:38,547
Yeah, but we made up like dogs.
28
00:01:40,289 --> 00:01:42,511
Oh, I can't wait to see him.
29
00:01:42,555 --> 00:01:44,776
[phone rings]
30
00:01:44,820 --> 00:01:46,215
Grace Adler Designs.
31
00:01:46,258 --> 00:01:47,434
[giggles]
32
00:01:47,478 --> 00:01:49,918
Hey there, big daddy.
33
00:01:49,961 --> 00:01:51,965
What are you up to,
you little dirty dirty?
34
00:01:52,009 --> 00:01:53,708
Ok, hang up, hang up.
35
00:01:53,752 --> 00:01:55,973
Hey, sexy.
36
00:01:56,017 --> 00:01:57,454
Oh, hi, Dad.
37
00:02:16,058 --> 00:02:18,716
OK, I say yes on the pants,
yes on the sweater,
38
00:02:18,759 --> 00:02:22,463
and definitely yes with
the other decision you're
struggling with, ok?
39
00:02:26,558 --> 00:02:28,475
Hey. Hey. Psst, Jack.
40
00:02:28,518 --> 00:02:31,350
-Oh, hey, Karen--
-Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka!
41
00:02:31,394 --> 00:02:33,441
I'm Anastasia Beaverhausen!
42
00:02:37,362 --> 00:02:39,497
Why are you using your alias?
43
00:02:39,541 --> 00:02:42,852
Because I passed a couple
of bad checks here.
You know, for sport?
44
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,773
Mrs. Beaverhausen,
can you believe it?
45
00:02:46,816 --> 00:02:49,387
Me, a Banana Republic
sales associate.
46
00:02:49,431 --> 00:02:52,828
And my guidance counselor said
I'd never amount to anything.
47
00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:54,702
Honey, I'm so proud of you.
Come on.
48
00:02:54,745 --> 00:02:56,619
Let's go to Barney's.
There's a new salesgirl there,
49
00:02:56,662 --> 00:02:59,059
and we gotta get her fired.
She has a gray tooth. Come on.
50
00:02:59,102 --> 00:03:00,453
I can't.
51
00:03:04,505 --> 00:03:06,944
I can't. I'm working. Hello?
52
00:03:06,988 --> 00:03:10,430
Well, yeah, and I'm ovulating,
but nothing's gonna come
of that, either.
53
00:03:10,474 --> 00:03:14,525
You don't understand.
I have responsibilities.
Look, a headset.
54
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:17,183
You know... This isn't working.
55
00:03:17,226 --> 00:03:18,708
This is gonna interfere
with our friendship.
56
00:03:18,752 --> 00:03:20,625
I work a 40-hour month
for what's-her-name,
57
00:03:20,669 --> 00:03:22,890
-and I always make time
for us. Come on.
-Karen--
58
00:03:22,934 --> 00:03:24,981
I can't, all right?
59
00:03:25,025 --> 00:03:28,205
But I promise.
Nothing's gonna change
between us. Hey,
60
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:29,904
I'll come over later, and we'll
short-sheet Rosario's bed.
61
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,995
OK.
62
00:03:32,039 --> 00:03:34,392
Maybe we can take
a big bubble bath together.
63
00:03:34,436 --> 00:03:37,834
Nothing would give me
more pleasure than to
sponge-clean the Beaverhausen.
64
00:03:42,321 --> 00:03:45,283
-Wilma.
-Anastasia.
65
00:03:45,327 --> 00:03:48,900
Uh, hey. I just received
a message saying you have
66
00:03:48,943 --> 00:03:51,601
a new job and you're going
to buy me dinner.
67
00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:55,914
There's, like, 18 things wrong
with that sentence.
68
00:03:55,958 --> 00:03:58,397
Will, The Banana
has changed my life.
69
00:03:58,441 --> 00:03:59,704
It's all about The Banana.
70
00:03:59,749 --> 00:04:02,668
Hasn't it always been?
71
00:04:02,711 --> 00:04:04,585
Hey, save that
smut for Loehman's.
72
00:04:05,587 --> 00:04:07,416
You're in The Republic now.
73
00:04:14,996 --> 00:04:16,870
Hey, Grace.
74
00:04:16,913 --> 00:04:18,438
Nicholas. Hi.
75
00:04:18,482 --> 00:04:20,573
-It's been a long time.
-Yeah, it has.
76
00:04:20,617 --> 00:04:24,407
Even longer, since you were
supposed to be here
20 minutes ago.
77
00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:26,411
What are you talking about?
You said "1:20."
78
00:04:26,454 --> 00:04:29,286
-I said 1:00. Who says
"meet at 1:20?"
-Here we go.
79
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:33,339
I've been waiting here
a half hour. I was so bored,
I almost started to read.
80
00:04:33,382 --> 00:04:34,994
Listen...
81
00:04:35,037 --> 00:04:37,086
Don't blame me because
you're unclear-- as usual.
82
00:04:37,129 --> 00:04:40,048
I was totally clear.
You just hear whatever
you want to hear.
83
00:04:40,092 --> 00:04:41,835
-You look hot.
-So do you.
84
00:04:44,056 --> 00:04:46,060
-So, how's Boston?
-Do you really care?
85
00:04:46,104 --> 00:04:47,977
No. Just making
conversation till we
get to the good stuff.
86
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,197
How about that?
I'm fresh out of conversation.
87
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,504
How about that?
88
00:04:51,681 --> 00:04:53,902
There you are.
89
00:04:53,946 --> 00:04:55,776
-Oh, hey, love.
-Hey, baby.
90
00:05:02,224 --> 00:05:04,532
You must be Grace.
So nice to meet you.
91
00:05:04,576 --> 00:05:09,194
Thank you... You...
92
00:05:09,238 --> 00:05:12,941
I'm not late, am I?
You told me to be here at 1:35.
93
00:05:12,985 --> 00:05:15,381
Oh, my God. I've been
looking for this book.
94
00:05:15,425 --> 00:05:17,603
It's the perfect size
to replace that little foot
that broke off my hamper.
95
00:05:17,647 --> 00:05:18,823
-I'll be right back.
-OK.
96
00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:22,832
So, uh...
97
00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,966
Your... sister seems nice?
98
00:05:26,796 --> 00:05:29,453
No, she-- She's not my sister.
She's my girlfriend.
99
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,024
She joined the Symphony
last year. She plays the flute.
100
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,036
Nicholas, I'm so embarrassed.
I mean,
101
00:05:38,079 --> 00:05:40,737
if I had known that kiss
before was just a "hello" kiss,
102
00:05:40,781 --> 00:05:44,745
I would have used
a lot less tongue.
103
00:05:44,789 --> 00:05:48,361
See, when you called,
I thought you wanted
to get together
104
00:05:48,405 --> 00:05:51,367
to do what we get
together to do.
105
00:05:51,411 --> 00:05:52,806
That's right.
106
00:05:52,849 --> 00:05:55,986
-But you have a girlfriend now.
-That's right.
107
00:05:56,029 --> 00:05:58,295
Ok, I guess I'm
a little dense, 'cause,
108
00:05:58,339 --> 00:06:00,604
I mean, you can't have
sex with me and your
girlfriend at the same time.
109
00:06:00,647 --> 00:06:02,042
That's wrong.
110
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:05,483
What?
111
00:06:05,527 --> 00:06:07,967
But... Oh.
112
00:06:10,712 --> 00:06:12,934
Oh, but-- Oh!
113
00:06:17,552 --> 00:06:19,991
-Oh, my God. There he is.
He's back.
-Who?
114
00:06:20,035 --> 00:06:22,518
32 long flat-front chinos.
115
00:06:22,562 --> 00:06:25,437
The man I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.
Look at him, Will.
116
00:06:25,481 --> 00:06:30,143
He's perfection. So loverly.
117
00:06:30,186 --> 00:06:32,408
-He makes me want
to be a bigger man.
-You mean "a better man."
118
00:06:32,451 --> 00:06:33,541
Yeah, that, too.
119
00:06:36,024 --> 00:06:37,985
-How do you know he's gay?
-He beeped.
120
00:06:41,383 --> 00:06:42,864
He's a cutie. Why don't you
go talk to him?
121
00:06:42,908 --> 00:06:44,128
I can't.
122
00:06:44,912 --> 00:06:46,873
You "can't?"
123
00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:49,530
What woul... You're
not shy around men.
124
00:06:49,573 --> 00:06:52,318
You'd hit on the Pope
if he drove a better car.
125
00:06:56,588 --> 00:06:58,984
Come on. You're... get it,
you're Jack. Get in there.
126
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,731
-I'm Jack.
-You're Jack.
127
00:07:02,774 --> 00:07:04,169
-I'm Jack.
-Jack.
128
00:07:04,213 --> 00:07:05,606
-I'm Jack.
-You're Jack.
129
00:07:12,403 --> 00:07:19,025
I'm Jack. I'm Jack.
I'm Jack. I'm Jack.
130
00:07:19,069 --> 00:07:22,598
I'm Jack. I'm Jack. I'm Jack--
131
00:07:26,519 --> 00:07:29,046
Does this shirt come in
anything besides cranberry?
132
00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:32,139
Because I just don't
think it will go with
my gooseberry pants.
133
00:07:34,404 --> 00:07:38,848
So, what fruit will go with
this pants? Uh, gandaberry,
lingonberry, Halle Berry?
134
00:07:41,898 --> 00:07:43,510
OK, thanks.
135
00:07:45,688 --> 00:07:48,303
Me! I'm the fruit that would
go with those pants.
136
00:07:50,524 --> 00:07:53,226
Nice try. Tell me.
Does this come in a boot?
137
00:07:57,757 --> 00:07:59,761
Can you imagine me in a 3-way?
138
00:08:03,334 --> 00:08:05,555
Honey, I can barely
imagine you in 2-way.
139
00:08:07,864 --> 00:08:13,441
Hey, come on. I mean,
it's not outside the realm
of possibility.
140
00:08:13,484 --> 00:08:17,057
Grace, I can see me in a 3-way.
I can see Karen in a 3-way.
141
00:08:17,101 --> 00:08:18,713
Oh, honey, every night
with Stan is a 3-way--
142
00:08:18,756 --> 00:08:20,760
Me, him, and
Johnnie Walker Black.
143
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:22,416
Just the three of us.
144
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,252
But you're just not that girl.
145
00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:30,302
No way, no how.
146
00:08:30,345 --> 00:08:35,486
Hey, I have been known to get
a little crazy in the boudoir.
147
00:08:35,529 --> 00:08:39,233
Some might even call me...
kinky.
148
00:08:40,714 --> 00:08:42,501
[both laughing]
149
00:08:42,544 --> 00:08:44,766
Hey!
150
00:08:44,809 --> 00:08:49,341
Sweetheart, people who are truly
kinky never use the word kinky.
151
00:08:49,384 --> 00:08:51,345
And who the hell
says "boudoir"?!
152
00:08:51,388 --> 00:08:54,742
"Hey, hey. Look at me.
I'm kinky, and I'm
in the boudoir."
153
00:08:57,183 --> 00:09:01,452
OK. OK, OK. So maybe
I haven't had sex with more
than one person at a time,
154
00:09:01,495 --> 00:09:03,761
but I've done a lot
of crazy things.
155
00:09:04,850 --> 00:09:06,244
I once had sex in the kitchen.
156
00:09:06,288 --> 00:09:08,554
Ooh. What are you, a rock star?
157
00:09:10,645 --> 00:09:14,174
All right. No. You're done.
I have clients coming. Get out.
158
00:09:14,218 --> 00:09:16,091
If I don't, are you
gonna spank me, kinko?
159
00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:18,574
-Get out!
-Whoa!
160
00:09:18,617 --> 00:09:21,101
If you're anything like that
in the boudoir, watch out!
161
00:09:22,931 --> 00:09:25,109
I don't care what either of
you say, I am not a prude.
162
00:09:25,153 --> 00:09:27,200
Oh, honey. Come on. Come on.
163
00:09:27,244 --> 00:09:30,251
I love you like the mother
I had committed
against her will.
164
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:38,180
But you are Prudence McPrude,
the Mayoress of Prudie Town.
165
00:09:39,486 --> 00:09:40,968
Karen, you are wrong.
166
00:09:41,011 --> 00:09:42,318
Quack, quack. No, I'm not.
167
00:09:42,362 --> 00:09:44,715
-Yes, you are!
-Quack.
168
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:48,418
Look, you know what?
Not only am I the kind of
person who would do a 3-way,
169
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:52,426
I'm the kind of person
who's going to do a 3-way.
170
00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:57,262
So say good-bye to
Prudence McPrude, and say
hello to Slutly Slutenstein.
171
00:10:02,229 --> 00:10:04,145
Excuse me. I'm looking for Jack.
172
00:10:04,189 --> 00:10:07,195
Jack, you have a visitor,
and he's cute.
173
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:09,722
If I didn't have a girlfriend,
I'd be so into him.
174
00:10:10,898 --> 00:10:12,074
He'll be right here.
175
00:10:14,384 --> 00:10:16,258
Hey, hey. What's with this page?
176
00:10:16,301 --> 00:10:19,220
"Baby bear needs mama bear."
177
00:10:19,264 --> 00:10:22,139
You're only supposed to
use that in a gay emergency.
178
00:10:22,182 --> 00:10:25,625
It is an emergency. He's back.
32 long is back.
179
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:28,500
His pants... are ready.
180
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:31,637
Have lovelier words
ever been uttered?
181
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,295
Say it soft, and it's
almost like praying.
182
00:10:36,821 --> 00:10:38,477
I need your help, Will.
183
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,481
I figured out what it is
about him that scares me.
184
00:10:40,524 --> 00:10:42,311
He's a smarty.
185
00:10:42,354 --> 00:10:44,271
I heard him on his cell phone
using big words like
186
00:10:44,315 --> 00:10:46,885
"particular" and "delicatessen."
187
00:10:49,587 --> 00:10:51,678
I need you to make me smart.
188
00:10:51,721 --> 00:10:54,771
All right. I'll-- I'll need
a mad scientist,
189
00:10:54,814 --> 00:10:57,342
two electric switching helmets,
and a willing monkey.
190
00:10:59,607 --> 00:11:01,306
There's not enough time.
191
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,484
Oh, my God. There he is.
192
00:11:03,528 --> 00:11:05,009
Please, Will, help me.
193
00:11:05,053 --> 00:11:06,403
I still don't understand
what you want me to do.
194
00:11:06,447 --> 00:11:08,669
It's not like I
can talk for you.
195
00:11:10,847 --> 00:11:12,895
Oh, my God.
You're a girl genius.
196
00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:15,466
That's exactly what you can do.
197
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,557
Scott, call home.
Your girlfriend's pregnant.
198
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,084
-What? How?
-Just go.
199
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,486
No, no, no. No, Jack.
This is ridiculous. No.
200
00:11:25,529 --> 00:11:27,577
I've never felt this way
about anyone. Please.
201
00:11:29,363 --> 00:11:31,629
All right. What could possibly
go wrong with this plan?
202
00:11:35,637 --> 00:11:39,689
Testing, testing. Sibilant.
Rhubarb. My dog has fleas.
203
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:41,040
Yeah, I hear you, Jack.
204
00:11:43,218 --> 00:11:44,525
Approaching target.
205
00:11:46,659 --> 00:11:49,273
Approaching target.
206
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:52,279
Oh, my. Look how flat
target's stomach is.
207
00:11:54,415 --> 00:11:55,722
OK, I'm in.
208
00:11:58,074 --> 00:12:00,209
Give me a line a smarty
would open with.
209
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,821
Hello?
210
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:05,568
Hello.
211
00:12:05,611 --> 00:12:07,528
-Hi.
-Oh, my God. It's working.
212
00:12:15,589 --> 00:12:18,071
I just bought She's Come Undone,
213
00:12:18,115 --> 00:12:19,901
but I was disappointed
when I got home
214
00:12:19,945 --> 00:12:22,777
and I realized it wasn't
a biography of J. Edgar Hoover.
215
00:12:25,391 --> 00:12:27,482
So what are you
reading these days?
216
00:12:27,526 --> 00:12:30,183
Oh, good question.
What am I reading?
217
00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:32,624
What am I reading?
What am I reading?
218
00:12:32,667 --> 00:12:35,019
Actually, I'm re-reading
an old favorite, Rabbit Run.
219
00:12:35,063 --> 00:12:38,156
Actually, I'm re-reading
an old favorite, Rabid Nun.
220
00:12:38,199 --> 00:12:39,027
No, no...
221
00:12:41,337 --> 00:12:44,473
-Rabbit Run, you idiot.
-Rabbit Run, you idiot.
Rabbit Run.
222
00:12:44,517 --> 00:12:46,521
No!
223
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:49,527
-You're the idiot!
-No, you're the idiot!
224
00:12:49,571 --> 00:12:53,361
I mean-- I mean, I'm the idiot.
I'm c-c-crazy.
225
00:12:53,404 --> 00:12:55,627
-Why did you let me do that?
-Hey!
226
00:12:55,671 --> 00:12:58,590
A ventriloquist is only
as good as his dummy.
227
00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:00,985
-So listen, Matthew--
-So listen, Matthew--
228
00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:03,208
--if you like She's Come Undone,
you know what else
you might like?
229
00:13:03,251 --> 00:13:05,299
--if you like She's Come Undone,
you know what else
you might like?
230
00:13:05,342 --> 00:13:07,085
If I tore off my clothes
and gave you a lap dance
on the V-neck sweaters.
231
00:13:07,129 --> 00:13:08,740
If I tore--
232
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:14,797
If I-- If I tore over
here and invited you
233
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,805
to caress the insole of
our brand-new seamed Oxford.
234
00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:23,728
MATTHEW:
Ooh, seems a little fast.
I like to get to know a shoe
before I put my foot in it.
235
00:13:23,771 --> 00:13:26,036
Take it to dinner,
buy it a sock.
236
00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:29,174
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
237
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,136
So, what is it you do?
238
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:34,314
So, what is it you do?
239
00:13:34,358 --> 00:13:37,277
-I work in television.
-Oh, my God. I love TV.
Buffy is my life.
240
00:13:38,497 --> 00:13:40,980
I'm so into Willow being a lez.
241
00:13:41,024 --> 00:13:42,941
Did you have anything
to do with that?
242
00:13:42,984 --> 00:13:46,949
No, I'm a sports writer.
I write news, sports,
you know, like that.
243
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:49,694
Sports? I got nothing.
The last sporting
event I watched
244
00:13:49,737 --> 00:13:51,698
was Circus of the Stars.
245
00:13:51,741 --> 00:13:54,094
-Hey, do you have
this in a size 8?
-I don't work here.
246
00:13:54,138 --> 00:13:57,580
-So, back to Buffy.
Is it really--
-Forget Buffy, you boob.
247
00:13:57,623 --> 00:13:59,235
-Ask him what he does for fun.
-What do you do for fun?
248
00:13:59,278 --> 00:14:03,331
Oh, I don't know. Let's see,
uh... Oh. Well, tonight,
249
00:14:03,374 --> 00:14:05,335
I'm going to an opening
at the Spielman Gallery,
250
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,731
where I'll probably get shamed
into buying some art.
251
00:14:07,774 --> 00:14:09,169
Oh, my God. I got--
252
00:14:09,212 --> 00:14:11,608
Oh, my God. I got shamed
at that gallery, too.
253
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,961
That little skinny woman
with the big hands
254
00:14:14,005 --> 00:14:16,618
and the blue veins who wouldn't
take no for an answer.
255
00:14:16,662 --> 00:14:21,890
I know her. She did a number
on me. She made me buy this
4x6 canvas of a foot.
256
00:14:21,934 --> 00:14:24,504
Fortunately, I got out of there
before she made me buy
257
00:14:24,548 --> 00:14:26,334
this hideous sculpture
they had out front.
258
00:14:26,378 --> 00:14:27,859
-Japanese Man With Fish?
-Japanese Man With Fish?
259
00:14:27,902 --> 00:14:29,340
-Japanese Man With Fish.
-I bought it.
260
00:14:29,384 --> 00:14:31,170
-I bought it.
-You didn't.
261
00:14:31,214 --> 00:14:33,522
-I did.
-Hey, can we talk about
something I'm interested in?
262
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,927
Jack, Jack. Don't bail.
This is working.
263
00:14:39,971 --> 00:14:42,410
Look, Matthew. Let me
ask you something.
264
00:14:42,454 --> 00:14:44,676
Matthew, let me ask you
something.
265
00:14:44,719 --> 00:14:45,852
And don't take this
the wrong way. Get out of
here, you silly woman!
266
00:14:45,896 --> 00:14:47,508
Get out of here,
you silly woman!
267
00:14:49,991 --> 00:14:51,951
You, you silly woman. Out!
268
00:14:56,743 --> 00:14:59,010
Now, where were we?
269
00:14:59,053 --> 00:15:00,840
I think I should get going.
270
00:15:01,885 --> 00:15:03,976
All right, look.
271
00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:07,723
Obviously, you have
some stuff you need to
work out up here, OK?
272
00:15:07,766 --> 00:15:11,905
Um, and I don't know if
I'm invested enough to
start couples counseling.
273
00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:15,043
Maybe it's just as well,
Jack, because I think I'm
interested in somebody else.
274
00:15:15,086 --> 00:15:17,918
Yeah. Whatever you need
to tell yourself, OK.
275
00:15:17,962 --> 00:15:21,490
Just promise me you'll allow
yourself some time to grieve.
276
00:15:21,533 --> 00:15:24,278
Maybe I can start the grieving
process while you get my pants.
277
00:15:24,322 --> 00:15:26,588
Good idea. Will, you're fired.
278
00:15:33,297 --> 00:15:36,390
Hey, listen, lady. I told--
Oh, sorry.
279
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:38,918
Call me. It was nice
talking to you.
280
00:15:38,961 --> 00:15:41,052
Me?
281
00:15:41,096 --> 00:15:43,143
Well, the-- Well, you
and Jerry Lewis need to
work on your act.
282
00:15:46,323 --> 00:15:49,330
I don't know what happened.
We killed at The Gap.
283
00:15:52,815 --> 00:15:55,821
The first one's
my home number.
284
00:15:55,864 --> 00:15:57,390
-I'm Will, by the way.
-I'm Matt.
285
00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:59,176
Matt, I...you know.
286
00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:00,396
Nice meeting you.
287
00:16:00,439 --> 00:16:01,790
You, too.
288
00:16:04,056 --> 00:16:05,973
You think Jack's gonna be OK?
289
00:16:06,016 --> 00:16:09,327
I just need to measure
your inseam.
290
00:16:11,332 --> 00:16:13,597
-But I just want... socks.
-Yeah.
291
00:16:18,128 --> 00:16:21,395
Yeah, I think the healing
process has already begun.
292
00:16:24,881 --> 00:16:26,667
[knocking on door]
293
00:16:29,412 --> 00:16:31,677
OK, I'm here. What's first?
Who's first? How do we do this?
294
00:16:33,855 --> 00:16:35,859
First, we slow down. Come on in.
295
00:16:35,903 --> 00:16:38,387
Let me take your coat.
You're not nervous, are you?
296
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:42,569
Nervous? No.
What gave you that idea?
297
00:16:42,612 --> 00:16:45,401
Two coats. Look at that.
298
00:16:45,444 --> 00:16:48,669
Well, the first coat's
really just a primer.
299
00:16:48,712 --> 00:16:51,718
It won't get in the way
of anything we're doing here.
300
00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:55,073
-So where's Paula?
-I'm here. Hi, Grace.
301
00:16:55,116 --> 00:16:56,772
Hey, hey, Paula.
302
00:16:58,645 --> 00:17:00,345
Let me take your coat.
303
00:17:00,388 --> 00:17:02,784
Oh, thank you.
304
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,145
Oh.
305
00:17:09,189 --> 00:17:10,844
-OK, go.
-Come on.
306
00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:13,415
Relax, Grace. It's gonna be fun.
We're just gonna--
307
00:17:13,459 --> 00:17:16,334
-Nicholas?
-What?
308
00:17:16,378 --> 00:17:19,166
Why did you put my flute
on the window? You know
it can't get wet.
309
00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:20,516
-I'm sorry.
-Geez.
310
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:21,736
I'm sorry. Look,
it's no big deal--
311
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:22,913
Hey!
312
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,711
You want me to sit between
the two of you. OK.
313
00:17:32,454 --> 00:17:35,547
[high-pitched giggle]
314
00:17:35,591 --> 00:17:39,729
Isn't it funny how this is
the universal symbol
for take a seat?
315
00:17:39,773 --> 00:17:43,520
I mean, it's the same to
everybody. Kids, dogs, sluts.
316
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,221
Come on, Grace. Don't say that.
Do you remember when I...
317
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,792
-Remember?
-Yeah.
318
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:51,231
It can be just like that. OK?
319
00:17:51,275 --> 00:17:54,194
Well, it's just--
this time I'd have to
wait my turn, but--
320
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:56,241
OK.
321
00:17:58,638 --> 00:18:00,903
BOTH:
There you go.
322
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:05,217
Ok... Yeah, that
feels better. Hmm...
323
00:18:09,835 --> 00:18:11,882
Ok, I'm gonna have to work
my way up to you, but nice robe.
324
00:18:15,673 --> 00:18:19,507
Oh. Oh, that feels nice.
Strong hands.
325
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:23,776
Oh! More strong hands.
They're popping up everywhere.
326
00:18:23,819 --> 00:18:27,262
Just like Starbucks franchises,
only sexy.
327
00:18:29,004 --> 00:18:31,313
She has beautiful hair,
doesn't she, Paula?
328
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:34,450
What? You're still on the flute?
329
00:18:34,493 --> 00:18:35,540
Well, you put it there
on purpose, didn't you?
330
00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:37,325
Give me a break, please?
331
00:18:37,370 --> 00:18:41,115
Oh, gosh. Oh, that's nice.
I really had a knot there.
332
00:18:41,159 --> 00:18:42,989
Because if I put your cello
near an open window,
333
00:18:43,032 --> 00:18:45,299
the wrath that would rain
down on me--
334
00:18:45,342 --> 00:18:48,217
The only purpose of a flute
is to make people cry
during Irish movies.
335
00:18:49,524 --> 00:18:51,615
You know what? I am done.
336
00:18:51,659 --> 00:18:53,140
Next time you want
to do a 3-way,
337
00:18:53,184 --> 00:18:54,883
why don't you do it with
your cello and your ego?
338
00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:56,757
Well, at least my cello makes
noise when I touch it.
339
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:57,976
-Guys?
-I hate you, Nicholas!
340
00:18:58,020 --> 00:18:59,980
I am so tired of you, Paula.
341
00:19:00,024 --> 00:19:01,984
[both yelling]
342
00:19:02,028 --> 00:19:03,771
Hey, hey, hey! Wait a minute.
343
00:19:03,814 --> 00:19:05,427
Do you know how much
soul-searching
344
00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:07,256
I had to do to come up
with the courage to--
345
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:10,524
Oh, damn it. I am burning up!
346
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:13,922
Look... This is not me, OK?
I'm a good girl from
Schenectady.
347
00:19:13,966 --> 00:19:15,403
I went to Sunday school
for 10 years.
348
00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:17,451
I was 16 before I let Bobby Kay
go to second.
349
00:19:17,495 --> 00:19:20,806
So for me to come here
and participate in
this is a big deal.
350
00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:26,600
So you two kiss and make
up, because the three of
us are gonna get it on!
351
00:19:31,523 --> 00:19:34,922
-Baby, you are so hot!
-Let's do this right now.
352
00:19:36,490 --> 00:19:38,669
Wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no.
353
00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:40,586
What is it? W-w-what, what?
354
00:19:40,629 --> 00:19:43,155
This isn't me, OK?
I'm a good girl
from Schenectady.
355
00:19:43,199 --> 00:19:44,768
I went to Sunday school
for 10 years.
356
00:19:44,811 --> 00:19:46,859
I was 16 before I let
Bobby Kay go to second,
357
00:19:46,902 --> 00:19:49,821
so for me to come here
and participate in this
is a big deal.
358
00:19:51,259 --> 00:19:53,655
Too big a deal.
359
00:19:53,699 --> 00:19:58,448
So I'm sorry, but I'm--I'm--
I'm gonna have to
back out of this.
360
00:19:58,491 --> 00:20:01,411
And I just want to make this
as smooth an exit as possible,
361
00:20:01,455 --> 00:20:06,639
so I'm just gonna
take my sweater and my
sweatshirt and my jacket...
362
00:20:06,682 --> 00:20:08,120
and my other jacket.
363
00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:13,087
Gosh, I feel like I'm leaving
you high and dry.
364
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:16,310
Do you want me to
get the concierge?
She--she looked pretty cute.
365
00:20:19,316 --> 00:20:20,798
OK.
366
00:20:25,852 --> 00:20:28,684
I guess I always thought of
myself as a little kinky.
367
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,777
Come on, Grace. It's OK.
I've never been in a 3-way.
368
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:34,914
Yeah, but you're gay.
You have the kinky built in.
369
00:20:36,788 --> 00:20:39,227
Oh, sure. That's why I joined.
370
00:20:41,885 --> 00:20:45,326
So, come on.
How was your sexcapade, honey?
371
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:47,374
Were you the ham in
a philharmonic sandwich?
372
00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:50,075
Did you roll over for Beethoven?
Did ya?
373
00:20:51,992 --> 00:20:55,608
-You want me to tell her?
-No, that's OK.
374
00:20:55,652 --> 00:20:57,699
I'm not ashamed.
375
00:20:57,743 --> 00:21:00,793
It was fantastic.
376
00:21:02,580 --> 00:21:04,408
There were so many arms
and legs everywhere,
377
00:21:04,453 --> 00:21:06,718
Hindus were praying to us.
378
00:21:09,332 --> 00:21:13,514
Oh... You sleazy skank.
379
00:21:16,346 --> 00:21:17,740
What? Karen--
380
00:21:17,784 --> 00:21:19,265
I gotta take the rest
of the day off.
381
00:21:19,309 --> 00:21:21,313
The air in this room
is ripe with filth.
382
00:21:23,056 --> 00:21:26,192
For God's sake, Grace.
I'm a mother. Oh!
30439
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