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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,501 --> 00:00:02,878 Previously on "Pushing Daisies"... 2 00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:05,172 Young Ned had a special gift. 3 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:08,709 He could touch dead things and bring them back to life. 4 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:11,273 But he could only bring the dead back to life 5 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,003 for one minute. Any longer, 6 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,846 and someone else had to die. 7 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:16,904 And there was one more thing he had to learn -- 8 00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,185 first touch, life. 9 00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:21,438 Second touch, dead again forever. 10 00:00:21,686 --> 00:00:23,860 But as young Ned grew into the pie maker, 11 00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:26,992 this gift proved to be most useful in the untimely death 12 00:00:27,025 --> 00:00:29,299 of his childhood sweetheart, Charlotte Charles. 13 00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:31,008 Are you in love with her? 14 00:00:31,119 --> 00:00:32,372 - You only got a minute. - I know. 15 00:00:32,405 --> 00:00:33,521 - 60 seconds. - I know. 16 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,363 What if you didn't have to be dead? 17 00:00:35,367 --> 00:00:36,321 You can't touch me. 18 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,220 So a kiss is out of the question? 19 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,071 You touch murder victims, you ask who killed them, 20 00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,093 you touch them again, they go back to being dead, 21 00:00:42,127 --> 00:00:45,123 - and then you collect the reward? - That's it in a nutshell. 22 00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:48,713 - Might I make an observation? - Compliment or criticism? 23 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,350 A neutral thought, I would say. 24 00:00:50,387 --> 00:00:52,063 It's neither complimentary nor critical. 25 00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,881 Neutral thought gives me pause. 26 00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:56,273 - You seem decidedly unhappy. - What are you beating at? 27 00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:58,353 An offer to repair your espresso machine. 28 00:01:01,608 --> 00:01:06,400 Season 1, Episode 8 - Bitter Sweets For www.forom.com 29 00:01:07,737 --> 00:01:10,733 The motto of the Longborough School for boys was 30 00:01:10,826 --> 00:01:16,451 "institutum superior omnibus," or "tradition over all." 31 00:01:16,705 --> 00:01:19,800 But on this morning, whether it was the topic of flight 32 00:01:19,888 --> 00:01:22,240 or the brandy the teachers parlor, 33 00:01:22,628 --> 00:01:24,833 Mr. Gault threw tradition to the wind 34 00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:28,252 and let the students chose their own lab partners. 35 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:32,801 young Ned, however found his chosen for him. 36 00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:36,473 Eugene Mulchandani was an exchange student 37 00:01:36,565 --> 00:01:38,761 from Gorakhpur, India. 38 00:01:39,095 --> 00:01:42,563 Young Ned felt a gnawing pity growing in his stomach, 39 00:01:42,815 --> 00:01:44,561 as was tradition. 40 00:01:45,858 --> 00:01:48,730 But beneath Eugene's headgear 41 00:01:48,985 --> 00:01:50,863 thrived an active imagination 42 00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:54,573 and a useful gift for aeronautical model building, 43 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,571 as well as the hope that someone might not dislike him 44 00:01:58,626 --> 00:02:01,831 for the simple fact that he was different. 45 00:02:08,877 --> 00:02:12,090 Young Ned found himself breaking with his own tradition 46 00:02:12,145 --> 00:02:14,090 and, in a moment of passion... 47 00:02:15,925 --> 00:02:17,592 he fought back. 48 00:02:18,057 --> 00:02:21,263 For the first time since his father dropped him off, 49 00:02:21,518 --> 00:02:23,893 young Ned made a friend. 50 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,231 In the surge of emotion, 51 00:02:26,287 --> 00:02:28,132 he forgot his mother had died, 52 00:02:28,157 --> 00:02:29,700 his father had left him, 53 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,102 and that he missed the girl named Chuck. 54 00:02:32,315 --> 00:02:33,523 He also forgot 55 00:02:33,606 --> 00:02:36,002 he was jumping into a pile of dead leaves 56 00:02:36,246 --> 00:02:38,492 that were once alive. 57 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:48,373 Eugene Mulchandani fled in a flurry of saliva and fear. 58 00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:52,460 Eugene would eventually forget young Ned's mistake 59 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:55,631 and chalk it up to magic leaves. 60 00:02:56,006 --> 00:02:58,172 But young Ned would never forget 61 00:02:58,227 --> 00:03:02,301 that happiness born of passion is always short-lived. 62 00:03:02,396 --> 00:03:04,472 Yet, for no fought of his own, 63 00:03:04,857 --> 00:03:07,433 he had once again stumbled into happiness... 64 00:03:07,726 --> 00:03:10,390 - Good morning. - Which terrified him. 65 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:11,982 Morning. 66 00:03:12,236 --> 00:03:15,402 - Guess what day it is today. - World hello day. 67 00:03:16,117 --> 00:03:19,031 You finally put up my calendar of obscure holidays. 68 00:03:19,288 --> 00:03:22,573 Yes. And hola! That's espa�ola. 69 00:03:22,876 --> 00:03:26,202 Merhaba, selamat pagi, o si yo. 70 00:03:26,548 --> 00:03:28,473 That's turkish, indonesian, and cherokee. 71 00:03:28,506 --> 00:03:30,121 Although the indonesian really says "good day," 72 00:03:30,157 --> 00:03:31,902 which I think is much better than "hello," 73 00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:33,742 'cause what does that say? That says, "I'm here. 74 00:03:33,776 --> 00:03:35,632 Your turn to talk." Kind of selfish. 75 00:03:37,678 --> 00:03:40,050 - What? - Nothing. 76 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,603 The pie maker wished to express to Chuck 77 00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:45,640 exactly how intense his fer her. 78 00:03:45,857 --> 00:03:47,853 Am I your boyfriend? 79 00:03:48,316 --> 00:03:50,113 And I realize "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" 80 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,803 are familiar, trite labels. 81 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,412 If convention were something you soaked in, 82 00:03:53,448 --> 00:03:55,280 "boyfriend" would be dripping with it. 83 00:03:55,316 --> 00:03:56,963 But we've never actually said it, 84 00:03:56,985 --> 00:03:58,951 and I think we need to define the relationship. But, 85 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,822 it may be helpful in a familiar, trite way -- 86 00:04:02,115 --> 00:04:04,201 The way on a holiday created to sell 87 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:07,063 greeting cards it's still kind of nice to get a card. 88 00:04:07,245 --> 00:04:09,763 And are you gonna cut me off with a "yes" anytime soon? 89 00:04:09,797 --> 00:04:10,751 Yes. 90 00:04:17,468 --> 00:04:19,840 You never said what today is. 91 00:04:20,098 --> 00:04:21,132 Thank you. 92 00:04:22,098 --> 00:04:25,592 Today is my daddy's birthday. 93 00:04:26,855 --> 00:04:29,853 You know he would have been 60 today if he were still alive? 94 00:04:30,027 --> 00:04:31,820 The mention of Chuck's father 95 00:04:31,988 --> 00:04:34,281 sent the pie maker's thoughts spinning. 96 00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:38,861 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 97 00:04:39,236 --> 00:04:41,070 The meaning of "nothing" was 98 00:04:41,445 --> 00:04:45,283 "I never told you that I inadvertently killed your father." 99 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,660 Olive Snook had told the pie maker 100 00:04:48,738 --> 00:04:51,982 she was happy for his happiness with the girl named Chuck, 101 00:04:52,005 --> 00:04:54,250 but upon hearing the word "boyfriend," 102 00:04:54,546 --> 00:04:58,170 she unexpectedly found her sadness spinning into anger. 103 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,673 It was a truth she could not yet stare in the face. 104 00:05:02,715 --> 00:05:04,343 Olive. 105 00:05:06,745 --> 00:05:10,183 - Where are all the customers? - You got me. 106 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,020 I am a customer. 107 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:16,102 Her dizzy heart missed another truth staring her in the face. 108 00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,402 Fredo. 109 00:05:20,906 --> 00:05:22,822 Alfredo, when did you come in? 110 00:05:22,915 --> 00:05:24,673 Before, when you opened the door for me 111 00:05:24,705 --> 00:05:26,693 and I asked how you were, then you said you were fine. 112 00:05:26,728 --> 00:05:27,812 Then I asked for a macchiato, 113 00:05:27,846 --> 00:05:29,782 and you said, "coming right up." 114 00:05:30,087 --> 00:05:31,833 So, I guess you'll still want that. 115 00:05:31,835 --> 00:05:33,080 Yes, please. 116 00:05:40,008 --> 00:05:43,130 - This case is easy money. - You told me that already. 117 00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:45,233 It's my fault Chuck's father's dead. 118 00:05:45,265 --> 00:05:47,861 - You told me that already. - I should just tell her. 119 00:05:47,935 --> 00:05:49,821 Well, that idea might make a stupid idea 120 00:05:49,858 --> 00:05:51,400 feel better about itself. 121 00:05:51,516 --> 00:05:53,930 - I can't keep lying to her. - You ain't lying. 122 00:05:54,225 --> 00:05:55,642 The only way you're lying 123 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,291 is if she asks the question, 124 00:05:57,326 --> 00:06:00,162 "Hey, did you kill my father when you brought your mother back, 125 00:06:00,195 --> 00:06:02,293 which I didn't know about, because you never told me?" 126 00:06:02,327 --> 00:06:03,533 Don't tell her. 127 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:07,860 Have you guys heard? 128 00:06:07,906 --> 00:06:10,670 The most amazing new candy store is opening up across the street. 129 00:06:10,708 --> 00:06:12,280 It's amazing. 130 00:06:13,086 --> 00:06:14,413 Who are you? 131 00:06:14,498 --> 00:06:16,222 I'm just some guy who's telling everybody about it 132 00:06:16,258 --> 00:06:17,402 'cause it's so amazing. 133 00:06:17,407 --> 00:06:19,342 Seriously, everybody, you got to check this out. 134 00:06:19,377 --> 00:06:20,972 Do you work for the candy store? 135 00:06:21,108 --> 00:06:22,460 No. I'm just some guy. 136 00:06:22,718 --> 00:06:23,962 "Some guy"? 137 00:06:24,005 --> 00:06:26,013 Yeah. Some guy who sure loves candy. 138 00:06:26,265 --> 00:06:28,473 Be sure to tell everne you know. See ya. 139 00:06:29,135 --> 00:06:31,542 Oh, no. See? This is how it all ends. 140 00:06:31,976 --> 00:06:34,272 Some weird guy comes in saying stuff that don't make no sense. 141 00:06:34,308 --> 00:06:36,051 And by the time your head realizes, 142 00:06:36,108 --> 00:06:37,702 "Hey, this weird guy don't make no sense," 143 00:06:37,738 --> 00:06:39,040 your guts are all over the window. 144 00:06:39,073 --> 00:06:39,832 Here. 145 00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:42,509 So, did Ned tell you he's my boyfriend? 146 00:06:44,235 --> 00:06:46,948 You two are gonna love this case. 147 00:06:47,249 --> 00:06:48,632 The facts were these -- 148 00:06:48,668 --> 00:06:50,240 one Tony Dinapoli -- 149 00:06:50,318 --> 00:06:53,781 26 years, 9 weeks, 2 hours, and 10 minutes old -- 150 00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:57,173 was found strangled to death in his friend's apartment. 151 00:06:57,206 --> 00:06:59,332 His girlfriend, Tina Arongino, 152 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,180 was arrested at the scene 153 00:07:01,256 --> 00:07:02,970 for the murder the police described 154 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,002 as a typical crime of passion. 155 00:07:05,305 --> 00:07:06,801 I freakin' loved Tony. 156 00:07:07,098 --> 00:07:09,490 You got to help me, Emerson Cod. I didn't do it. 157 00:07:11,346 --> 00:07:13,493 With the evidence stacked against her, 158 00:07:13,528 --> 00:07:17,353 Tina Arongino hired Emerson Cod. 159 00:07:23,826 --> 00:07:25,322 How you doin'? 160 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,363 Do you know how you're doing? 161 00:07:27,576 --> 00:07:28,902 I'm dead, right? 162 00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,382 Your girlfriend murder you? 163 00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:32,572 Hell, no. Me and Tina were mad for each other. 164 00:07:32,608 --> 00:07:34,160 She friggin' loved me. 165 00:07:34,217 --> 00:07:36,701 It was burly Bruce Carter who strangled me. 166 00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:38,290 This burly Bruce, 167 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,331 did he have congenitally dainty hands? 168 00:07:40,386 --> 00:07:42,020 'Cause those strangle marks were made by 169 00:07:42,057 --> 00:07:44,710 a petite female with rounded, crimson, french-tipped nails. 170 00:07:44,747 --> 00:07:47,213 He used his girlfriend hands to kill me. 171 00:07:48,096 --> 00:07:49,792 I don't know what to do with that. 172 00:07:49,885 --> 00:07:52,511 His girlfriend's a doll -- not like you're a doll. 173 00:07:52,808 --> 00:07:55,553 She's a doll doll, like life-sized and plastic. 174 00:07:55,806 --> 00:07:58,313 - You mean she's not real? - Don't tell Bruce that. 175 00:07:58,468 --> 00:07:59,680 That was my mistake. 176 00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:02,510 Bruce invited me and Tina over for a double date. 177 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,942 I got to Bruce's place before Tina did. 178 00:08:05,155 --> 00:08:06,450 When he showed me the doll 179 00:08:06,475 --> 00:08:08,972 and said it was his girlfriend, I let him have it. 180 00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:10,690 Then he kind of flipped out. 181 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:18,370 So you're saying the murder weapon was a life-size-human doll? 182 00:08:18,428 --> 00:08:19,952 That's what I'm sayin'. 183 00:08:20,006 --> 00:08:22,201 - Got a phone number, sweetie? - Do you mind? 184 00:08:22,465 --> 00:08:24,601 - What about friggin' Tina? - I'm dead, ain't I? 185 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:25,883 No. 186 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,801 - Now you're dead. - Oh, my gosh. 187 00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:30,840 Well, that was a crime of passion. 188 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,881 What? It was a minute. I'm having a hard day. 189 00:08:37,898 --> 00:08:42,520 Olive found herself in a cloud of steamed milk and self-pity, 190 00:08:42,816 --> 00:08:45,062 unaware of the warm breath blowing out 191 00:08:45,237 --> 00:08:47,280 of the mouth of Alfredo Aldarisio. 192 00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,582 ...is compromised, because a traveling salesman 193 00:08:49,615 --> 00:08:51,660 isn't such a thing if he does not travel. 194 00:08:51,746 --> 00:08:53,942 As any nontraditional-remedy salesman knows, 195 00:08:54,078 --> 00:08:56,000 resistance to the novel and the unconventional 196 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,921 is marbled through this country like gristle. 197 00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:00,651 If I'm not cutting that gristle, I'm not doing my job. 198 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,870 Were you talking? 199 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,080 I have to go back on the road soon. 200 00:09:05,427 --> 00:09:07,321 It may be a long time before I return. 201 00:09:07,465 --> 00:09:09,671 - Can I ask you a question? - Of course. 202 00:09:12,466 --> 00:09:14,632 - If you loved me... - Yes. 203 00:09:14,935 --> 00:09:16,933 ...And we could never, ever, ever touch, 204 00:09:16,978 --> 00:09:18,773 wouldn't you eventually get over it and move on, 205 00:09:18,806 --> 00:09:20,731 letting someone else have the slightest hope 206 00:09:20,766 --> 00:09:22,200 that you might move on to them? 207 00:09:22,235 --> 00:09:24,353 - If I loved you? - Yeah. 208 00:09:27,158 --> 00:09:29,610 Then I would love you in any way I could. 209 00:09:30,275 --> 00:09:32,691 And if we could not touch, then 210 00:09:32,757 --> 00:09:34,861 I would draw strength from your beauty. 211 00:09:35,155 --> 00:09:36,912 And if I went blind, 212 00:09:37,248 --> 00:09:40,162 then I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice 213 00:09:40,335 --> 00:09:41,982 and the contents of your thoughts 214 00:09:42,297 --> 00:09:45,042 until the last spark of my love for you 215 00:09:45,296 --> 00:09:47,882 lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind. 216 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:51,553 Forget it. 217 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,381 Mr. Carter? 218 00:09:57,686 --> 00:09:58,970 Mr. Bruce Carter? 219 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,900 What if he does actually believe 220 00:10:00,938 --> 00:10:02,440 that his doll is a real person? 221 00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,903 Maybe that is his truth. It's just different from our truth. 222 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,231 The truth ain't like puppies -- 223 00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:08,573 a bunch of them running around, you pick your favorite. 224 00:10:08,606 --> 00:10:11,021 One truth, and it has come a-knockin'. 225 00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:13,412 But let's just say he's got his own truth, 226 00:10:13,448 --> 00:10:14,552 and he's grown attached to it. 227 00:10:14,587 --> 00:10:16,710 Marry that with a short fuse and a violent temper, 228 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,362 and what you get is -- 229 00:10:19,878 --> 00:10:21,493 What do you want? 230 00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:24,542 That crazy broad Tina tryin' to pin this on me? 231 00:10:24,838 --> 00:10:26,332 'Cause she came in screamin', 232 00:10:26,366 --> 00:10:27,803 said Tony had been foolin' around on her. 233 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,682 Then she leapt on him like a cat. 234 00:10:29,778 --> 00:10:31,072 It was over before it started. 235 00:10:31,107 --> 00:10:32,351 The evidence backs me up. 236 00:10:32,525 --> 00:10:34,091 Yeah. On that subject-- 237 00:10:34,427 --> 00:10:35,732 Mr. Carter, you are a big, tough guy, 238 00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:38,113 and I have no doubt you could make mincemeat out of all of us 239 00:10:38,148 --> 00:10:40,493 if what you needed was more mincemeat. But the shoes by the door 240 00:10:40,527 --> 00:10:43,020 and the daffodils on the table and the smell of garlic pasta 241 00:10:43,057 --> 00:10:45,803 - coming from the kitchen... - Maybe I got a girlfriend. 242 00:10:45,857 --> 00:10:47,643 That so hard to believe? 243 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,911 And Sheila's got nothin' to do with this. 244 00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,812 Yeah. Uh, when you say "Sheila" -- 245 00:10:52,005 --> 00:10:54,401 Did Sheila witness the murder of Tony Dinapoli? 246 00:10:54,735 --> 00:10:56,323 I'm done talkin'. 247 00:10:56,578 --> 00:10:57,992 You need to leave now. 248 00:10:58,006 --> 00:11:00,170 But if she saw something or did something, we understand. 249 00:11:00,205 --> 00:11:02,901 You're just trying to protect her 'cause you love her. 250 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,581 It wasn't Sheila's fault, okay? 251 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,543 It was mine. Take me. 252 00:11:12,048 --> 00:11:14,923 I never should have put her in that situation. 253 00:11:15,468 --> 00:11:16,760 It's okay. Okay. 254 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:21,593 Sheila! Sheila, baby! You can come out. 255 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,561 - The g's up. - It's okay. 256 00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:28,603 She's probably too scared. 257 00:11:29,526 --> 00:11:32,353 The information Emerson Cod gave the police 258 00:11:32,415 --> 00:11:36,321 led to further investigation of Tony Dinapoli's real murder 259 00:11:36,408 --> 00:11:39,490 due to unreal circumstances. 260 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,740 Tina Arongino was released. 261 00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:45,580 Burly Bruce Carter was detained by local authorities, 262 00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:47,623 awaiting his trial. 263 00:11:48,106 --> 00:11:50,791 Sheila! I love you! 264 00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,883 Sheila the doll was also detained. 265 00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:58,211 Olive, having been detained by her own angry thoughts 266 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,302 for long enough, had escaped 267 00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:03,011 to sample something sweeter. 268 00:12:12,278 --> 00:12:14,690 Welcome. Bitter much? 269 00:12:14,726 --> 00:12:15,751 I'm sorry? 270 00:12:15,847 --> 00:12:18,033 Sweets taste sweeter with a bite of the bitter. 271 00:12:18,065 --> 00:12:20,910 Welcome to Balsam's Bittersweets Taffy & Sweets Emporium. 272 00:12:21,247 --> 00:12:22,650 - Bitter much? - Yes. 273 00:12:22,998 --> 00:12:24,740 Actually, bitter very much. 274 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,833 Aren't you "some guy"? 275 00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:30,293 You're a pie holer. Billy Balsam, co-owner. 276 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,122 Hi. 277 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:35,440 I-I thought we should bring pie. That's what new neighbors do. 278 00:12:35,477 --> 00:12:37,340 So sweet. You are so sweet. 279 00:12:37,676 --> 00:12:40,313 A girl could get the diabetes just standing next to you. 280 00:12:40,348 --> 00:12:42,441 Dilly, there's some other small-business owners 281 00:12:42,476 --> 00:12:45,052 - from across the street. - Who's Dilly? 282 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:48,933 Bitter much? 283 00:12:49,316 --> 00:12:51,290 Pie holers, I'd like you to meet my sister 284 00:12:51,327 --> 00:12:53,173 and the queen of candy, Dilly Balsam. 285 00:12:53,276 --> 00:12:55,031 It's a pleasure to meet you. Dilly Balsam. 286 00:12:55,068 --> 00:12:56,981 - Hi. - Hi. I'm Ned. 287 00:12:57,316 --> 00:12:58,981 He's the lord of the pies. 288 00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,030 Oh, of course! 289 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:05,111 That little pie place with the quaint crust roof. 290 00:13:05,457 --> 00:13:08,332 I do hope Billy apologized for all this commotion today. 291 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,442 If by "apologized," you mean 292 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:11,813 he pretended to be somebody he's not 293 00:13:11,848 --> 00:13:13,440 so he could lure us into your sugar shack... 294 00:13:13,477 --> 00:13:14,733 Actually, I think it's really nice 295 00:13:14,765 --> 00:13:16,761 to have a bit of excitement in the neighborhood. 296 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,391 I'm so glad you see it that way. 297 00:13:20,137 --> 00:13:21,961 Do you like excitement, pie man? 298 00:13:22,265 --> 00:13:24,512 The pie maker did not like excitement, 299 00:13:24,598 --> 00:13:27,343 but he knew to be polite to a new neighbor. 300 00:13:27,645 --> 00:13:29,940 I feel excitement is so much better than a lot of things. 301 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,622 Do you know what I find exciting? 302 00:13:32,277 --> 00:13:35,601 Com...pe...ti...tion. 303 00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:39,361 I hope you're not afraid of a little competition. 304 00:13:39,697 --> 00:13:42,111 I don't really see us as competitors. 305 00:13:42,615 --> 00:13:45,263 Is what's in that box the amazing smell I'm smelling? 306 00:13:45,287 --> 00:13:47,582 Oh, is what you're smelling georgia peach cobbler? 307 00:13:47,615 --> 00:13:50,142 - That's exactly it. - Then I'm the guilty georgia peach. 308 00:13:50,175 --> 00:13:52,090 It's from the pie hole, across the street, 309 00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:54,072 as in "shut your," but one sweet whiff, 310 00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:56,121 and people usually want to "open their." 311 00:13:56,178 --> 00:13:57,792 That sounds delicious. Let's go. 312 00:13:58,718 --> 00:14:00,292 Bye. 313 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,592 I'm sorry. 314 00:14:08,228 --> 00:14:10,803 This is for you. Happy grand opening. 315 00:14:11,607 --> 00:14:13,273 That was interesting. 316 00:14:13,526 --> 00:14:16,230 I admire your s-s-s-s-s-s-strategy. 317 00:14:16,528 --> 00:14:17,730 Strategy? 318 00:14:17,805 --> 00:14:19,981 Sorry. My sister stutters when she's upset. 319 00:14:20,278 --> 00:14:22,070 Why is she upset? Why are you upset? 320 00:14:22,238 --> 00:14:24,583 Pretty nervy bringing your p-p-pie up in all my business, 321 00:14:24,618 --> 00:14:26,200 stealing my c-c-c-customers. 322 00:14:26,458 --> 00:14:28,252 Oh, I-I think this is a misunderstanding. 323 00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:30,340 If you want a w-w-war, then that's what you'll get. 324 00:14:30,375 --> 00:14:31,581 A war? No. 325 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,472 A war's what we don't want. We just came by to say h-h-hello. 326 00:14:34,505 --> 00:14:36,411 Are you making f-f-f-fun of me? 327 00:14:36,715 --> 00:14:38,713 - She's eaking out-fray. - What? 328 00:14:38,927 --> 00:14:40,333 Freaking out. 329 00:14:40,927 --> 00:14:44,052 You haven't seen anything. Ame on-g-g-g-gay. 330 00:14:44,428 --> 00:14:45,422 What? 331 00:14:45,477 --> 00:14:46,883 - Game on. - Game on. 332 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,133 - Game on? - Game on! Now get out! 333 00:14:51,886 --> 00:14:52,552 Out. 334 00:15:00,155 --> 00:15:01,901 That should shake them up. 335 00:15:02,155 --> 00:15:05,033 I liked the stuttering. It was off-putting and odd. 336 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,890 Amateurs. 337 00:15:06,926 --> 00:15:09,021 We'll have them out of business in a week. 338 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,172 You still think it's a coincidence? 339 00:15:28,307 --> 00:15:30,251 I don't think someone purposely damaged 340 00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:32,432 our sign to read..."pie ho." 341 00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:36,472 Hello. That crazy candy lady threatened us. 342 00:15:36,527 --> 00:15:38,720 They're trying to steal all of our business. 343 00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:40,453 We've only had one customer today. 344 00:15:40,486 --> 00:15:42,202 We can't just sit here and do nothing. 345 00:15:42,238 --> 00:15:43,110 Yes, we can. 346 00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:44,432 Candy might be sweet, 347 00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,413 but it's a traveling carnival blowing through town. 348 00:15:46,448 --> 00:15:47,402 Pie is home. 349 00:15:47,577 --> 00:15:49,071 People always come home. 350 00:15:49,285 --> 00:15:51,132 Come on, Digby. Let's bake some pies. 351 00:15:56,627 --> 00:15:59,041 Why won't he do anything about this? 352 00:15:59,256 --> 00:16:01,430 I don't know. He's been acting strange since yesterday. 353 00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,333 Does he seem distant to you? 354 00:16:03,835 --> 00:16:06,253 Would you like to discuss his fear of intimacy, 355 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,773 his dark moods, that thing he does when he's lying? 356 00:16:08,808 --> 00:16:11,091 I can be a very good resource for you on Ned, 357 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,613 if you don't mind me clawing out your eyeballs while we talk. 358 00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:14,801 Really? 359 00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,860 - Why do you want me to care? - Because you really like him. 360 00:16:17,897 --> 00:16:19,201 Wouldn't it just rock 'n' roll 361 00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:21,570 if liking someone meant they had to like you back? 362 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,172 Of course, that'd be a different universe, 363 00:16:23,306 --> 00:16:25,312 and something else would probably suck. 364 00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:28,903 Refill? 365 00:16:30,617 --> 00:16:33,611 This isn't really my shade of lipstick. 366 00:16:33,915 --> 00:16:35,811 I am going to have to cite you for it. 367 00:16:35,915 --> 00:16:37,333 Cite all you want, sweetie. 368 00:16:37,436 --> 00:16:39,300 I'm standing right here in front of you. 369 00:16:39,336 --> 00:16:40,782 I don't think you understand. 370 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,921 Andrew Brown, health inspector. 371 00:16:44,335 --> 00:16:47,340 Excuse me, but don't you need to notify us first? 372 00:16:47,596 --> 00:16:49,550 Not if it's a surprise inspection. 373 00:16:49,765 --> 00:16:51,261 Surprise! 374 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:03,101 Effective hair restraint... 375 00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:05,310 ...Not worn. 376 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:11,781 Live animal found in the facility's food area. 377 00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:21,793 You need to open this. 378 00:17:22,256 --> 00:17:24,333 Wait. I can explain what's in there. 379 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,740 No, I can't. But you should definitely wait anyway. 380 00:17:26,778 --> 00:17:28,840 It's okay. We never use this room. 381 00:17:29,177 --> 00:17:31,673 Yes, we do. I do -- sometimes. 382 00:17:31,966 --> 00:17:34,380 Open the door. Please. 383 00:17:47,908 --> 00:17:50,073 Olive Snook was unaware 384 00:17:50,105 --> 00:17:51,972 that the pie maker could bring dead fruit 385 00:17:52,007 --> 00:17:54,282 back to life for his pies. 386 00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,953 Why is this room filled with rotten fruit? 387 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,163 That inspection was no accident. 388 00:18:05,545 --> 00:18:07,643 We are being attacked by a vicious nutbag. 389 00:18:07,835 --> 00:18:09,001 We need to retaliate 390 00:18:09,058 --> 00:18:11,340 with a swift and overwhelming show of force. 391 00:18:11,597 --> 00:18:13,352 I don't retaliate. I'm not a retaliar. 392 00:18:13,387 --> 00:18:14,430 You let your emotions get away 393 00:18:14,465 --> 00:18:16,130 from and everything falls apart. 394 00:18:16,476 --> 00:18:17,862 You really believe that, don't you? 395 00:18:17,898 --> 00:18:19,142 Yes. I've seen it happen. 396 00:18:19,396 --> 00:18:20,720 She's coming to get us. 397 00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,573 That's exactly what I'm talking about. 398 00:18:22,605 --> 00:18:24,151 Nobody's coming to get anybody. 399 00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,560 But she is. 400 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,573 We need to talk. 401 00:18:37,076 --> 00:18:39,492 - You're not welcome here. - Of course she is. 402 00:18:39,748 --> 00:18:40,822 All are welcome. 403 00:18:41,247 --> 00:18:43,262 Uh, would you like a slice of triple berry? 404 00:18:43,297 --> 00:18:44,541 Oh, thank you. 405 00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,791 You teach me something, pie baker. 406 00:18:48,215 --> 00:18:49,421 Olive. 407 00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:57,840 I wanted to apologize for my outburst yesterday. 408 00:18:58,225 --> 00:19:00,302 - It was inappropriate. - Thank you. 409 00:19:00,686 --> 00:19:02,370 And I'm sorry for pretending to be a stutterer. 410 00:19:02,405 --> 00:19:03,813 You were pretending? 411 00:19:04,188 --> 00:19:05,982 That's mean, and it's disrespectful. 412 00:19:06,236 --> 00:19:07,871 I like to mislead my competition -- 413 00:19:07,906 --> 00:19:09,621 encourage underestimation with the idea 414 00:19:09,656 --> 00:19:11,233 that I have an impediment. 415 00:19:11,298 --> 00:19:13,322 But I know that stuttering can be a very serious disorder, 416 00:19:13,355 --> 00:19:15,751 and I only chose to mimic it because I'm legally blind. 417 00:19:15,785 --> 00:19:17,071 She's doing it again. 418 00:19:17,495 --> 00:19:19,242 - You need to leave. - Oh, come on. 419 00:19:19,615 --> 00:19:21,391 We all know that the world of small business 420 00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,160 is nothing but a big, sexy game. 421 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,542 Call me old-fashioned, but I like to win. 422 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,960 There are plenty of customers for both of us, Dilly. 423 00:19:29,217 --> 00:19:30,623 Why can't we both win? 424 00:19:30,925 --> 00:19:32,471 Because I like your crust roof, 425 00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:34,522 your square footage, and your corner location, 426 00:19:34,558 --> 00:19:36,852 even if your sign does go on the fritz now and then. 427 00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:40,512 Oh, and I was so, so sorry to hear about your inspection. 428 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,301 You didn't come here to apologize at all, did you? 429 00:19:43,476 --> 00:19:47,601 No. I came by to tell you that it's only gonna get worse. 430 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,512 You've shown yourself to be vulnerable 431 00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:51,021 and careless competitors, 432 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,030 so you can count on more surprise inspections 433 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,900 and disruptions to your business. 434 00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:57,252 - Why are you doing this to us? - What I see, I want. 435 00:19:57,285 --> 00:20:00,451 What I want, I take. Nothing scares me. 436 00:20:00,788 --> 00:20:02,682 I've looked death in the eye and survived 437 00:20:02,716 --> 00:20:04,582 to open a successful candy franchise. 438 00:20:04,876 --> 00:20:06,620 - Can you say that? - Actually, yes. 439 00:20:06,835 --> 00:20:08,751 Not the "candy franchise" part, but -- 440 00:20:09,047 --> 00:20:11,142 I won't let you bully me into a fight, Dilly. 441 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:13,773 - That's not how I settle things. - Then you'll lose. 442 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,632 Thanks for the pie. 443 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:22,843 What is up with that... witch? 444 00:20:23,227 --> 00:20:25,681 What was up with that witch was this -- 445 00:20:26,057 --> 00:20:29,433 Dilania "Dilly" Balsam and brother Billy's lives 446 00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:31,191 were turned upside down 447 00:20:31,258 --> 00:20:33,522 when their parents died of bird flu. 448 00:20:33,718 --> 00:20:35,442 Dilly felt adrift, 449 00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:38,532 until she resolved to confront her greatest fear. 450 00:20:38,865 --> 00:20:40,942 She set out across Bodega bay, 451 00:20:41,045 --> 00:20:43,640 determined to look the killers of her parents 452 00:20:43,717 --> 00:20:46,830 in their beady-eyed, feathered faces. 453 00:20:47,128 --> 00:20:50,292 Then, just as she was about to reach the other side, 454 00:20:50,346 --> 00:20:52,331 her worst nightmare. 455 00:20:57,967 --> 00:21:01,173 Dilly Balsam survived the attack, 456 00:21:01,425 --> 00:21:03,473 to be rescued by a local merchant, 457 00:21:03,538 --> 00:21:06,091 who offered her a very sweet treat. 458 00:21:06,218 --> 00:21:08,812 She realized that her love of taffy 459 00:21:09,107 --> 00:21:10,600 and fear of nothing 460 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,973 would serve her well in business. 461 00:21:13,395 --> 00:21:17,901 And Balsam's Bittersweets Taffy & Sweets Emporium 462 00:21:18,198 --> 00:21:19,651 was born. 463 00:21:27,625 --> 00:21:28,740 What? 464 00:21:30,997 --> 00:21:32,750 You think I should do something. 465 00:21:33,467 --> 00:21:34,790 We're just saying. 466 00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:35,800 No. 467 00:21:35,867 --> 00:21:37,841 You let your anger win and you engage the crazy person, 468 00:21:37,878 --> 00:21:39,322 then you're no different than they are. 469 00:21:39,356 --> 00:21:41,050 People say, "Hey. 470 00:21:41,156 --> 00:21:43,103 Look at that. There's two crazy people fighting." 471 00:21:43,138 --> 00:21:44,173 I will not engage. 472 00:21:44,515 --> 00:21:45,693 Yeah, but if you don't engage, 473 00:21:45,728 --> 00:21:47,402 pretty soon, people will start saying, 474 00:21:47,435 --> 00:21:48,983 "Hey, look at that crazy person 475 00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:50,833 eating that guy just sitting there, doing nothing." 476 00:21:50,865 --> 00:21:52,901 We've got to give her a dose of her own medicine. 477 00:21:52,935 --> 00:21:54,852 Chuck, don't go over to the dark side. 478 00:21:55,197 --> 00:21:56,653 Revenge never works. 479 00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:01,782 I got to go. 480 00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:04,703 Me too. 481 00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:10,493 Well, this can't end well. 482 00:22:14,045 --> 00:22:14,913 Wait! 483 00:22:16,218 --> 00:22:17,472 Didn't think you'd do this. 484 00:22:17,507 --> 00:22:19,661 Thought you were all goody-good, apple pie, and baseball. 485 00:22:19,695 --> 00:22:21,771 Well, only insofar as I know how to use a baseball bat 486 00:22:21,805 --> 00:22:24,101 to make someone's face look like an apple pie. 487 00:22:28,435 --> 00:22:29,803 I am sorry about Ned. 488 00:22:30,146 --> 00:22:31,802 Well, not about Ned, but about upsetting you. 489 00:22:31,837 --> 00:22:33,281 I thought you were okay about it. 490 00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:34,521 So did I. 491 00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:37,563 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 492 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,360 Here's what we're not gonna do. 493 00:22:42,457 --> 00:22:44,203 We're not gonna start with all this puppy-dog-face, 494 00:22:44,236 --> 00:22:46,293 "get back on your horse and nd a man" crapola. 495 00:22:46,326 --> 00:22:48,082 'Cause maybe you forgot, but Ned was the horse 496 00:22:48,118 --> 00:22:49,392 and you pushed me off. So maybe, 497 00:22:49,428 --> 00:22:51,010 just maybe, I need to get a little angry 498 00:22:51,048 --> 00:22:52,473 before I can be all happy about it. 499 00:22:52,506 --> 00:22:53,741 Okay. I get it. 500 00:22:53,796 --> 00:22:55,251 Thank you. 501 00:22:58,087 --> 00:22:59,290 There's no alarm system. 502 00:22:59,585 --> 00:23:01,083 - Got a credit card? - Why? 503 00:23:01,187 --> 00:23:02,930 - You know how to pick a lock? - No. 504 00:23:03,095 --> 00:23:05,141 You're gonna need to pay for the damages. 505 00:23:09,807 --> 00:23:12,103 - Cool. - Come on! 506 00:23:17,286 --> 00:23:18,101 Here. 507 00:23:21,365 --> 00:23:22,313 You ready? 508 00:23:22,356 --> 00:23:24,110 - For Ned. - For Ned. 509 00:23:29,495 --> 00:23:31,322 I hate rats. 510 00:23:32,707 --> 00:23:34,373 So do health inspectors. 511 00:23:35,207 --> 00:23:37,252 - We're done here. - We're so done. 512 00:23:51,057 --> 00:23:52,851 Don't mess with the pie hose. 513 00:23:55,978 --> 00:23:57,602 He cleaned for hours, 514 00:23:57,668 --> 00:23:59,672 yet he could not wipe away the fear 515 00:23:59,707 --> 00:24:02,053 the battle with Balsam's Bittersweets... 516 00:24:02,907 --> 00:24:04,941 ...Would only turn more bitter. 517 00:24:14,627 --> 00:24:17,451 Chuck? I thought you were Dilly Balsam. 518 00:24:18,046 --> 00:24:19,990 Why are you dressed like a cat burglar? 519 00:24:20,467 --> 00:24:22,510 Why are you dressed like a fish m***monr? 520 00:24:22,716 --> 00:24:25,141 - I'm scrubbing the kitchen. - I was out with Olive. 521 00:24:25,178 --> 00:24:26,922 You know what? She is really great. 522 00:24:28,058 --> 00:24:29,260 Chuck? 523 00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:32,020 Sorry. My whole body's pumping with adrenaline. 524 00:24:33,937 --> 00:24:35,312 Are you upset with me? 525 00:24:35,357 --> 00:24:37,473 The truth he was hiding from Chuck 526 00:24:37,515 --> 00:24:39,771 was one spot he could not scrub out. 527 00:24:39,797 --> 00:24:41,270 What's freaking me out is the 528 00:24:41,307 --> 00:24:43,533 ruthless woman trying to shut down the pie hole. 529 00:24:43,568 --> 00:24:44,902 This was true. 530 00:24:45,236 --> 00:24:47,901 - It has nothing to do with us. - This was not. 531 00:24:48,536 --> 00:24:50,873 Are you sure you wouldn't feel better if you just... 532 00:24:50,905 --> 00:24:52,492 fought back a little? 533 00:24:52,588 --> 00:24:54,920 Whis it so hard for you to see that the brave thing here 534 00:24:54,955 --> 00:24:56,870 is not to fight back? 535 00:24:57,207 --> 00:24:59,851 Well, in that case, Olive and I were cowards tonight. 536 00:24:59,878 --> 00:25:02,272 We may have set loose some inappropriate vermin. 537 00:25:05,968 --> 00:25:07,460 Where are you going? 538 00:25:07,845 --> 00:25:09,213 To clean up another mess. 539 00:25:09,635 --> 00:25:10,711 Ned. 540 00:25:11,015 --> 00:25:12,343 Ned? 541 00:25:14,558 --> 00:25:17,970 The expression "like a rat in a candy store," 542 00:25:18,316 --> 00:25:21,182 though slightly less popular, is equally true. 543 00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:31,240 As Ned came to try to undo what Chuck and Olive had done, 544 00:25:31,538 --> 00:25:33,462 he found not fighting the fight 545 00:25:33,555 --> 00:25:35,991 was becoming more work than fighting it. 546 00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:37,281 Gross. 547 00:25:59,477 --> 00:26:00,973 Not good. 548 00:26:06,105 --> 00:26:07,350 Billy? 549 00:26:10,115 --> 00:26:11,531 Billy, were you dead? 550 00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:17,320 Oh! Wait. 551 00:26:17,957 --> 00:26:18,821 Freeze! 552 00:26:19,535 --> 00:26:20,992 You killed my brother! 553 00:26:25,798 --> 00:26:27,800 Chuck, this place is crawling with police. 554 00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:29,042 You could be recognized. 555 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:30,260 She shouldn't be here. 556 00:26:30,298 --> 00:26:31,892 I've been saying that for weeks. 557 00:26:32,096 --> 00:26:33,621 I had to come. This is all my fault. 558 00:26:33,656 --> 00:26:35,070 - It's not your fault. - Yes, it is -- 559 00:26:35,106 --> 00:26:37,270 if I'd have listened to you when you told me not to retaliate, 560 00:26:37,308 --> 00:26:38,773 you wouldn't have to clean up all my mess. 561 00:26:38,806 --> 00:26:40,272 - I did a terrible thing. - Okay. 562 00:26:40,308 --> 00:26:43,152 - So it's a little your fault. - Well, maybe now you're even. 563 00:26:43,187 --> 00:26:44,530 - What do you mean "even"? - Nothing. 564 00:26:44,565 --> 00:26:46,033 What happened at the candy shop? 565 00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:47,951 I was collecting the rats, and I was about to leave, 566 00:26:47,985 --> 00:26:49,701 when I saw Billy dead in the taffy vat. 567 00:26:49,736 --> 00:26:50,813 Did you... 568 00:26:51,116 --> 00:26:52,362 Yeah. 569 00:26:52,658 --> 00:26:55,541 But he couldn't talk on account of his mouth was full of taffy. 570 00:26:55,576 --> 00:26:58,110 I heard the police, and I... him again. 571 00:26:58,786 --> 00:27:00,242 They caught me red-handed. 572 00:27:00,706 --> 00:27:03,541 Well, me and Nancy Shrew will get you out. 573 00:27:11,678 --> 00:27:14,513 I mean, it's a broad generalization, but my guess is, 574 00:27:14,566 --> 00:27:16,732 an attractive man who makes pies for a living 575 00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:19,460 shouldn't even spend a short amount of time in prison. 576 00:27:20,345 --> 00:27:23,223 Without the pie maker and with little to go on, 577 00:27:23,607 --> 00:27:26,852 Emerson Cod and Chuck set out to seek the truth. 578 00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:31,690 - You gonna... do something? - I am doing something. 579 00:27:32,366 --> 00:27:35,361 - But we can't wake him up. - I know that. 580 00:27:35,698 --> 00:27:38,092 - Don't you think I know that? - I'm just saying. 581 00:27:38,325 --> 00:27:40,961 It's been a while since you solved a crime for real -- 582 00:27:40,996 --> 00:27:43,241 You know, the old-fashioned way. 583 00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,450 I did fine the old-fashioned way, 584 00:27:45,506 --> 00:27:47,732 and I'd do fine now if I could just think without you 585 00:27:47,766 --> 00:27:49,413 blabber-jabbering. 586 00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:53,653 This what you do when you're in here -- 587 00:27:53,685 --> 00:27:55,833 muttering with the bodies? Bicker and moan? 588 00:27:55,925 --> 00:27:58,721 We were just observing the body for any, uh... 589 00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:01,181 visible signs. 590 00:28:01,558 --> 00:28:03,310 - I like my way better. - What's that? 591 00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:05,060 Cutting the sucker open. 592 00:28:05,435 --> 00:28:06,893 I got to do an autopsy. 593 00:28:07,527 --> 00:28:09,643 Oh, good. You two check under the hood. 594 00:28:09,728 --> 00:28:12,040 I'm gonna do a full background check on Billy Balsam, 595 00:28:12,078 --> 00:28:15,570 see if anybody else wanted to put him in a permanent candy coma. 596 00:28:19,327 --> 00:28:20,453 Olive... 597 00:28:21,296 --> 00:28:22,452 Olive? 598 00:28:26,836 --> 00:28:28,330 Olive, it's okay. 599 00:28:30,466 --> 00:28:33,003 - I brought you a pie. - Thank you. 600 00:28:34,176 --> 00:28:35,960 It has a special filling. 601 00:28:43,478 --> 00:28:45,550 Please take that away. 602 00:28:50,315 --> 00:28:52,900 As Olive considered how the inch-thick glass 603 00:28:53,036 --> 00:28:55,503 prevented her from holding the man she still loved, 604 00:28:55,538 --> 00:28:57,680 she realized that for the pie maker, 605 00:28:57,708 --> 00:29:01,362 there might always be an invisible barrier between them. 606 00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:03,030 No known enemies? 607 00:29:03,786 --> 00:29:05,452 Well, that's not good. 608 00:29:05,785 --> 00:29:08,212 You're never gonna believe what we saw at the au-- 609 00:29:08,248 --> 00:29:10,042 - How did you know? - Got it. 610 00:29:10,585 --> 00:29:12,623 - How'd I know what? - About the finger. 611 00:29:12,925 --> 00:29:14,223 Oh, I learned it early on. 612 00:29:14,505 --> 00:29:15,713 See, it's sort of the universal 613 00:29:15,748 --> 00:29:17,742 "Hush up, I'm on the damn phone" symbol. 614 00:29:17,968 --> 00:29:19,210 Oh, well, it must also be 615 00:29:19,236 --> 00:29:21,071 the "Billy Balsam bit off his killer's finger, 616 00:29:21,105 --> 00:29:23,190 'cause we found it in his stomach at the autopsy" symbol. 617 00:29:23,225 --> 00:29:24,603 A real finger? 618 00:29:24,686 --> 00:29:26,830 Good -- all we got to do is lift a print off that finger 619 00:29:26,865 --> 00:29:29,051 and match it to who done it and get our boy out the slammer. 620 00:29:29,087 --> 00:29:31,353 There's no fingerprint. The gastric acid in his stomach ate away 621 00:29:31,388 --> 00:29:33,071 at the skin, erased any trace of a print. 622 00:29:33,106 --> 00:29:34,853 Police say the ail's gone cold. 623 00:29:35,156 --> 00:29:37,522 So whoever killed Billy is walking around with nine fingers, 624 00:29:37,555 --> 00:29:39,090 thinking they got away with murder. 625 00:29:39,127 --> 00:29:40,530 Footloose and finger-free. 626 00:29:41,827 --> 00:29:43,952 The pie maker considered how not 627 00:29:44,107 --> 00:29:46,263 telling Chuck the truth about her father 628 00:29:46,295 --> 00:29:48,643 was a lot like being locked in a prison. 629 00:29:48,876 --> 00:29:51,521 Then he considered how being locked in a prison 630 00:29:51,557 --> 00:29:55,922 was actually much worse than some silly metaphor about truth. 631 00:29:56,548 --> 00:29:59,211 Hey, baker boy. You got a new roommate. 632 00:30:01,476 --> 00:30:03,003 Burly Bruce? 633 00:30:03,125 --> 00:30:05,343 Aren't you the guy who got me locked up?! 634 00:30:05,685 --> 00:30:07,043 The pie maker was surprised, 635 00:30:07,077 --> 00:30:10,350 that here, perhaps 30 seconds from his own violent death, 636 00:30:10,407 --> 00:30:12,561 there were no grand revelations, 637 00:30:12,655 --> 00:30:15,061 but rather only one simple thought. 638 00:30:15,357 --> 00:30:17,151 - Chuck. - It is you. 639 00:30:17,486 --> 00:30:20,520 But it was the thought that saved his life. 640 00:30:20,908 --> 00:30:23,410 You know, you never told me how you met your girlfriend. 641 00:30:23,445 --> 00:30:25,533 Sheila, right? 642 00:30:27,287 --> 00:30:28,951 It's a funny story. 643 00:30:29,588 --> 00:30:31,160 We met carpooling. 644 00:30:31,458 --> 00:30:34,082 I was tired of being stuck in traffic all the time. 645 00:30:34,377 --> 00:30:36,551 Rule is, you need two or more for the diamond lane, 646 00:30:36,586 --> 00:30:39,170 so I answered a personal ad in a magazine. 647 00:30:40,178 --> 00:30:42,382 Next thing I know, she's at my door. 648 00:30:42,475 --> 00:30:45,473 Now, the first few weeks, we commuted together every day. 649 00:30:45,808 --> 00:30:47,680 She never said much. 650 00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:50,223 Then one night, I'm fixing dinner at my place, 651 00:30:50,257 --> 00:30:52,811 and I think, "I wonder what she's doing." 652 00:30:52,908 --> 00:30:54,982 So I invite her over. What the hell? 653 00:30:55,016 --> 00:30:56,772 I did it as a friend, you know? 654 00:30:57,108 --> 00:30:58,812 - You know how that is. - Uh, yeah. 655 00:30:59,108 --> 00:31:00,581 Something happened at that dinner. 656 00:31:00,618 --> 00:31:01,940 I don't know what it was. 657 00:31:02,075 --> 00:31:04,191 The magic of romance, right? 658 00:31:04,535 --> 00:31:06,453 But there was definitely a spark. 659 00:31:06,527 --> 00:31:08,571 We had so much in common. 660 00:31:08,828 --> 00:31:10,662 We talked for hours. 661 00:31:10,877 --> 00:31:13,012 One thing led to another, and before you know it, 662 00:31:13,047 --> 00:31:14,693 she was basically living with me. 663 00:31:14,797 --> 00:31:16,251 I love her so much. 664 00:31:16,587 --> 00:31:18,222 That's why I took the fall for her. 665 00:31:18,257 --> 00:31:19,573 I know you love Sheila, Bruce, 666 00:31:19,605 --> 00:31:21,501 but maybe this is a chance to move on, 667 00:31:21,795 --> 00:31:24,461 find someone... full of life. 668 00:31:24,765 --> 00:31:26,423 No. Sheila's my girlfriend. 669 00:31:26,768 --> 00:31:29,590 I don't care if they don't parole me for 80 years. 670 00:31:29,898 --> 00:31:31,472 I'll find her again. 671 00:31:31,857 --> 00:31:33,571 The truth could knock all it wanted, 672 00:31:33,605 --> 00:31:36,353 but burly Bruce would never open the door. 673 00:31:36,685 --> 00:31:38,733 And maybe that was for the best. 674 00:31:39,065 --> 00:31:41,161 I'm sure Sheila will still be there, Bruce, 675 00:31:41,195 --> 00:31:42,731 waiting for you. 676 00:31:45,575 --> 00:31:47,530 17 miles away, 677 00:31:48,118 --> 00:31:50,952 the search to finger the fingerless killer 678 00:31:51,327 --> 00:31:53,412 of Billy Balsam continued. 679 00:31:53,787 --> 00:31:55,633 No missing-digit emergencies reported 680 00:31:55,917 --> 00:31:57,960 at any of the local hospitals last night. 681 00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,972 Maybe the killer didn't realize they lost a finger, 682 00:32:00,005 --> 00:32:02,101 so they never reported it to the hospital. 683 00:32:02,177 --> 00:32:04,021 That would narrow our list of suspects 684 00:32:04,057 --> 00:32:05,881 down to only insanely stupid people. 685 00:32:06,217 --> 00:32:08,051 Some amputees have phantom limbs. 686 00:32:08,105 --> 00:32:09,953 They think the severed body part is still there, 687 00:32:09,985 --> 00:32:11,551 even when it's not. It's like a 688 00:32:11,605 --> 00:32:13,302 psychological protection mechanism 689 00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:14,841 to save them from the trauma. 690 00:32:16,398 --> 00:32:18,430 We need to go back to Bittersweets. 691 00:32:18,776 --> 00:32:20,922 We need to get into the scene of the crime. 692 00:32:21,068 --> 00:32:23,062 How are we gonna get past Dilly? 693 00:32:26,406 --> 00:32:27,730 Hi ya. 694 00:32:28,745 --> 00:32:30,821 You got a lot of spunk coming back here. 695 00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,531 I'm surprised you're here. 696 00:32:32,718 --> 00:32:34,910 Yeah, well, it's what Billy would want. 697 00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:37,540 Can I talk to you for a second in private? 698 00:32:39,868 --> 00:32:41,501 What are you doing? 699 00:32:43,005 --> 00:32:45,591 I mean outside private-- outside. 700 00:32:46,255 --> 00:32:48,301 I know this has been so hard for you, 701 00:32:48,357 --> 00:32:50,511 and I feel your pain. It's -- 702 00:32:50,605 --> 00:32:52,841 death is the worst. 703 00:32:58,726 --> 00:33:00,982 This dude bit off somebody's finger 704 00:33:01,607 --> 00:33:05,310 and was found faceup in this taffy. 705 00:33:05,906 --> 00:33:07,522 Which means... 706 00:33:07,867 --> 00:33:09,863 He probably wasn't attacked from behind. 707 00:33:09,995 --> 00:33:11,240 Right. 708 00:33:11,536 --> 00:33:13,280 So there must have been a struggle. 709 00:33:13,956 --> 00:33:16,742 I'd say more like a full-on brawl. 710 00:33:17,206 --> 00:33:19,242 This table was moved. 711 00:33:24,358 --> 00:33:25,583 Wrong kitchen. 712 00:33:25,885 --> 00:33:27,723 You know, marble's a very interesting stone. 713 00:33:27,755 --> 00:33:30,712 It's resistant to grease and oils, which leave stains. 714 00:33:30,766 --> 00:33:33,112 So, if it's not cleaned properly and right away 715 00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:35,942 and someone were to put their hand on it, say, um... 716 00:33:36,098 --> 00:33:38,431 In the heat of a scuffle... 717 00:33:38,768 --> 00:33:40,571 Then the oils on their hands should... 718 00:33:40,606 --> 00:33:45,102 ...Leave imprints on the surface. 719 00:33:51,787 --> 00:33:55,113 - Two hands. - Nine fingerprints. 720 00:33:55,216 --> 00:33:58,410 One taffy-drowning murderer. 721 00:33:58,628 --> 00:33:59,770 I just want you to know 722 00:33:59,796 --> 00:34:01,721 that even though we got off on the wrong foot, 723 00:34:01,758 --> 00:34:04,302 we are still your neighbors, and we are here for you. 724 00:34:04,338 --> 00:34:05,840 And I realize we may not be able to smile 725 00:34:05,878 --> 00:34:07,573 and wave at each other for a while 726 00:34:07,586 --> 00:34:09,352 because of events that have occurred. 727 00:34:09,385 --> 00:34:10,552 Yeah, I broke your sign 728 00:34:10,607 --> 00:34:12,563 and called the city health inspector hotline, 729 00:34:12,596 --> 00:34:14,590 and you all killed my brother. 730 00:34:14,975 --> 00:34:17,760 So we agree to disagree on that. 731 00:34:23,815 --> 00:34:25,572 Do you want proof? Do you want me to show you 732 00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:27,530 something that proves exactly what happened to Billy? 733 00:34:27,566 --> 00:34:28,860 Let me show you. 734 00:34:32,448 --> 00:34:35,031 - What? It's an empty car trunk. - No, it's not. 735 00:34:36,328 --> 00:34:37,700 Oh, crap! 736 00:34:41,127 --> 00:34:42,913 Help! Help! 737 00:34:46,746 --> 00:34:49,882 Her hands-- she's wearing mittens. 738 00:34:50,176 --> 00:34:52,093 Put the gun down, lady. 739 00:34:52,348 --> 00:34:54,692 The pie-making murderer couldn't finish the job, 740 00:34:54,726 --> 00:34:57,022 so he sent his girlfriend and the muscle to finish me off? 741 00:34:57,056 --> 00:34:59,052 Ned didn't kill anyone, and you know it. 742 00:34:59,185 --> 00:35:01,073 We're just trying to find out the truth. 743 00:35:01,105 --> 00:35:03,752 The only truth you need to know is I miss my brother. 744 00:35:09,947 --> 00:35:13,231 - You got 10 fingers. - You're not the killer. 745 00:35:13,618 --> 00:35:15,790 And I don't think you want to be one, either. 746 00:35:15,825 --> 00:35:18,020 Let us take the evidence to the authorities. 747 00:35:18,117 --> 00:35:20,411 We'll find out who really killed your brother. 748 00:35:26,585 --> 00:35:28,121 All right. You can go. 749 00:35:30,295 --> 00:35:32,940 If you can put whoever killed my brother behind bars, 750 00:35:33,138 --> 00:35:34,420 I will be happy. 751 00:35:34,848 --> 00:35:36,222 I thought I wanted revenge, 752 00:35:36,517 --> 00:35:39,590 but all I really need is j-j-j-justice. 753 00:35:41,555 --> 00:35:44,811 - Did she just stutter? - Yep. 754 00:35:46,607 --> 00:35:49,103 And take your trunk monkey with you. 755 00:35:50,238 --> 00:35:51,942 The facts were these-- 756 00:35:52,445 --> 00:35:55,533 After Olive was freed from Dilly Balsam's trunk... 757 00:35:55,945 --> 00:35:57,243 Stinks in there. 758 00:35:57,575 --> 00:36:00,331 ...The authorities explained that the time it would take 759 00:36:00,366 --> 00:36:02,362 for the dismembered digit to pass 760 00:36:02,626 --> 00:36:05,472 through the digestive system of Billy Balsam and have 761 00:36:05,508 --> 00:36:08,592 its fingerprints erased by the acid contained in the stomach 762 00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:11,040 put the time of death of one Billy Balsam 763 00:36:11,385 --> 00:36:14,170 hours earlier than the time the pie maker 764 00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:16,592 was found hovering over the body. 765 00:36:16,925 --> 00:36:19,491 Fingerprint analysis of the sheet of candy fruit 766 00:36:19,525 --> 00:36:22,851 exposed the nine-fingered culprit to be none other than... 767 00:36:23,147 --> 00:36:26,521 Andrew Brown, health inspector, 768 00:36:26,816 --> 00:36:29,572 whom, it was revealed upon further investigation, 769 00:36:29,606 --> 00:36:32,981 had been blackmailing Dilly and Billy Balsam. 770 00:36:33,238 --> 00:36:36,690 Having paid off the inspector to conduct a surprise inspection 771 00:36:36,986 --> 00:36:39,530 that led to the pie hole's temporary shutdown, 772 00:36:39,568 --> 00:36:42,453 brown had demanded a bribe, lest he reveal 773 00:36:42,508 --> 00:36:46,082 Billy and Dilly's dastardly deed and shut them down, too. 774 00:36:46,155 --> 00:36:50,331 Unwilling to be bullied, Billy Balsam balked. 775 00:36:57,757 --> 00:37:00,650 Health inspector Andrew Brown is now believed to be 776 00:37:00,708 --> 00:37:03,703 the number-one suspect in the murder of Balsam's Bittersweets 777 00:37:03,737 --> 00:37:06,563 Taffy & Sweets emporium co-owner Billy Balsam. 778 00:37:06,935 --> 00:37:10,033 Thanks to the work of private investigator Emerson Cod, 779 00:37:10,107 --> 00:37:13,133 the owner of the local pie hole has been cleared of all charges 780 00:37:13,167 --> 00:37:14,662 and released from jail. 781 00:37:14,738 --> 00:37:17,042 Authorities are conducting an extensive search for Andrew Brown, 782 00:37:17,076 --> 00:37:18,782 who remains at large. 783 00:37:18,876 --> 00:37:21,822 Up next, can apes drive? We'll find out. 784 00:37:24,206 --> 00:37:25,570 Dead girl walking. 785 00:37:26,078 --> 00:37:27,782 Walking right toward me. 786 00:37:28,205 --> 00:37:29,541 Are you okay? 787 00:37:29,957 --> 00:37:31,661 Sure. I mean, I am now. 788 00:37:31,877 --> 00:37:33,331 Ned. 789 00:37:34,797 --> 00:37:37,873 - That hug goes double for me. - Oh, double. Double hug. 790 00:37:39,928 --> 00:37:41,630 - Olive. - What? 791 00:37:47,555 --> 00:37:48,681 Come on. 792 00:37:53,357 --> 00:37:55,732 Doing this work without you... 793 00:37:57,867 --> 00:37:59,612 Well, it actually ends up meaning 794 00:37:59,687 --> 00:38:01,443 I'm doing a whole lot of work. 795 00:38:01,947 --> 00:38:04,491 Not that I can't do it, 'cause I can. 796 00:38:05,826 --> 00:38:08,622 - I just don't like it. - Glad to be back. 797 00:38:09,547 --> 00:38:11,623 It's not all that bad in jail. 798 00:38:11,915 --> 00:38:14,962 I had a lot of time to think, and I came to a decision. 799 00:38:15,335 --> 00:38:17,683 Everyone talks about how the truth will set you free, 800 00:38:17,717 --> 00:38:20,023 but burly Bruce was free to love someone 'cause he was 801 00:38:20,057 --> 00:38:22,643 so good at lying to himself about that doll being real. 802 00:38:22,677 --> 00:38:24,263 Which is to say... 803 00:38:24,556 --> 00:38:26,010 "Go, lying." 804 00:38:26,046 --> 00:38:29,472 Or at least "Yay to not telling the truth." 805 00:38:33,937 --> 00:38:36,101 I'm not gonna tell Chuck about her dad. 806 00:38:37,817 --> 00:38:40,811 I just heard that as though it came out of my own mouth. 807 00:38:40,867 --> 00:38:43,692 - Oh, wait. It did. - Well, you were right. 808 00:38:44,077 --> 00:38:46,280 - Good night. - Good night. 809 00:38:51,707 --> 00:38:53,332 Welcome home. 810 00:38:53,507 --> 00:38:57,043 Safely home and cleared of having committed any crime, 811 00:38:57,427 --> 00:39:01,173 the pie maker enjoyed a celebratory piece of pie 812 00:39:01,225 --> 00:39:03,053 and went up to bed. 813 00:39:19,237 --> 00:39:21,321 - Olive. - Fredo. 814 00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:23,653 I knew it was you. 815 00:39:47,556 --> 00:39:49,762 Sometimes, a crime of passion 816 00:39:49,807 --> 00:39:52,472 is not realizing the passion in time, 817 00:39:52,737 --> 00:39:56,602 while other times, the crime is not seeing the world as it is. 818 00:39:58,147 --> 00:40:03,863 But most crimes of passion are actually a crime. 819 00:40:17,005 --> 00:40:21,173 So, people can actually feel their limbs after they're gone. 820 00:40:21,467 --> 00:40:23,753 It's weird, but I kind of like it. 821 00:40:24,006 --> 00:40:25,342 I know. Me too. 822 00:40:28,055 --> 00:40:31,182 When I was in jail, I think you were my phantom limb. 823 00:40:33,435 --> 00:40:35,391 - I was? - You were. 824 00:40:35,727 --> 00:40:37,971 It felt like you were with me the whole time. 825 00:40:40,608 --> 00:40:42,403 I'm so glad you're back. 826 00:40:43,735 --> 00:40:45,863 The pie maker had never felt 827 00:40:45,908 --> 00:40:48,953 closer to another person as he did at that moment. 828 00:40:49,055 --> 00:40:51,951 He felt a rush of emotion overcome him... 829 00:40:52,168 --> 00:40:53,572 Chuck. 830 00:40:53,915 --> 00:40:56,081 ...Causing one crime of passion 831 00:40:56,117 --> 00:40:59,413 that came in the form of a confession. 832 00:40:59,716 --> 00:41:01,250 I killed your dad. 833 00:41:04,247 --> 00:41:08,252 Thanks to Raceman for the transcript 834 00:41:08,467 --> 00:41:12,041 Subtitles made by the Bloc Team For www.forom.com 64578

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