Original subtitles

[Music]

sorry we're late Reba but I went to pick

up M Booker and as usual she wasn't

ready M Booker well I just want to hear

how my maiden name sounds you know

because with the divorce pending I

haven't decided whether or not I'm going

to keep my married name do me a favor

okay

don't I'm just saying I already have one

ex-wife named Mrs Hart I'm not giving

out these names as a Parting

Gift oh would you two knock it off you

were hard enough to take when you were

happily

married so where are van and Cheyenne oh

I cannot wait to see the look on their

faces when we tell them that we are

getting them furniture for their new

house we are not getting them furniture

for their new house I Am Me by myself

because if you remember you guys didn't

want to spend the money and be part of

the gift yeah but we can can still be a

part of the look on their

faces hello you guys we got you

furniture for your new

house you

Furniture tears of joy stress

relieved wait a minute it was for me I I

I I was I put it oh Mom it doesn't

matter who did

was did it

all okay Mrs SI yeah of course you

did it's okay you're a winner too

a thank you thank you so much and you

know what mean the world to me what's

that if you came with us to help pick

out the furniture oh I'd love to

Cheyenne I have excellent taste besides

my third cousin is friends with Crazy

Larry the insane couch

king uh-huh okay look call me and get a

tape measure we are going to go measure

for furniture we don't need a tape

measure my feet are exactly a foot long

how weird is

that seriously if you find a couch at a

lower price Larry has to give you a ride

on his elephant so wait a minute if you

like the couch you don't get to ride the

elephant what a

rip so much for horning in on my gift

huh I'm horning in I think somebody ow

somebody else a buck 75 for the

card see you guys later this is a

wonderful time for our family Brock our

oldest daughter is buying her first

house and this little hot shot it's

getting ready to go to

college oh well I guess this would be

the time then to tell you that I decided

I'm not going to college come

again not going to

college I just feel like it would be a

waste of time I'd rather focus on my

music I'll see you guys later I have

band

practice

okay don't do anything dumb Reba don't

do anything dumb Crazy Larry didn't go

to college and he is filthy rich oh

[Music]

just my RS are planted in the past

though my life is changing fast who I am

is who I want to

be a single mom who works too hard who

loves her kids who never stops with

gentle hands and the Heart of a

fire I'm a

[Music]

Survivor oh van look at this store they

have some really nice

thing yeah I don't know I'm not really

impressed check that hello vibrating

chair Dan we are not buying a vibrating

chair why not

Cheyenne oh it's

cozy oh there you

go that's a spot chair

be

serious come on honey look at this couch

this gets really beautiful and it goes

with our house all right you get the

couch it doesn't plug in I'll just get

this chair man it doesn't work that way

okay they have to be in the same room

they have to actually match all right

fine we'll compromise we'll get a

vibrating

couch there is no such thing as a

vibrating couch really are you sure

new idea vibrating

couches come on Van I think this

furniture is for us try it

out

what oh

all right now this this is not going to

work out why not because this is the

most uncomfortable couch I've ever sat

in plus it's not my taste come on man

you cannot be suggesting that you

actually care about the furniture all

right you know what sh I don't want to

fight this is a big decision so let's

just flip for it no all right rock paper

scissors we not to flip a coin to pick

our furniture or do rock paper scissors

Rambo Ben okay I'm thinking of a number

you know what forget it forget about

this whole thing forget about the

furniture we'll just live in an empty

house and we'll eat out the Floor shyan

come

back excuse me sir do you have any

vibrating couches sorry sir I'm afraid

not excellent this conversation never

happened

[Applause]

[Music]

I just cannot believe Kira okay Reba

before you go all Rambo on Kira about

this band stuff just remember that a lot

of musicians didn't go to college and

there's Elton John Paul McCartney Sher

Bruce Springsteen I mean the list just

goes on and on and do you know what

those people have in common they're not

my kid that's

what and I want my child to have an

education or education that's overrated

all you need is an accent and you sound

smart hello Reaper I'm quite busy right

now can you have my secrety call you

it's wonderful you know hello do us all

a bit of a favor what you Mrs Booker and

zip it there's a good girl

good knock it

off it is vital that we show a united

front we have got to show her that we

are all of One mind got it

kir it's a trap follow your dreams run

be free oh no is this one of those you

have to go to college interventions no

it's a free and open exchange of ideas

plus you won't be able to leave the room

until you agree with us and I do need to

let you know that we are all of One mind

well to be fair I think that you should

be able to do whatever you want we are

all of One mind Kira we just want to

make sure that you know what you're

getting into right the concerts the

parties the limo to private jets I mean

what kind of life is

that Barbara jeene remind me to show you

that thing about my fist ins the side of

your

head okay you look re I'm just trying to

show her that it's not all bad yes but

only the people that make it to the top

get all that stuff I think what your mom

is trying to say is that there are no

guarantees okay yes this can be a really

hard life now baby I know what you're

going through my parents had the same

talk with me when I was your age and

wanted to join the touring company of A

Chorus

Line oh so this isn't an intervention as

much as a coming out

party hey honey as a straight man I

would have cleaned up on that tour okay

okay all right I think we're missing the

point here Kira this is the time in your

life when the decisions you make will

impact your future I'm just worried if

the band doesn't make it you won't have

the options you need so you're saying I

should think of college as a safety net

yes what a perfect way of saying it yes

a safety net yeah yeah the problem with

a safety net is that it's always there

if you

fall well yes dear that's why we call it

a safety

net and you think she's College

material I don't want a safety net I

want the pressure of having to make it

or crashing and burning a honey up

that's just crazy it's how a lot of

artists feel well here's how a lot of

artists parents feel you're going to

college and that's that you can't make

me I'm 18 oh but you still live here and

as long as you live here you will do

exactly what we think is best sounds

like we have a problem oh no there's no

problem you just do the right thing and

everything will work

out hey Cara ready to go to Studio yeah

hey stitch do you mind if I Crush at

your place for a little while yeah it's

cool with me dog liked you great

problem solved I'll be out by

Saturday I wonder if the dog is a person

or the

[Music]

dog well great job Reba now not only is

our daughter not going to college but

she's moving in with some punk with the

long hair and the break dancing and the

yeah yeah yeah devil

music she's not going anywhere first of

all she doesn't know it yet but she is

so

grounded you know what call her on her

cell and tell her that if she doesn't

get her butt home right now that you are

kicking her out how can I do that she

already left then tell her you are

kicking her

in what does that even mean I don't know

I am obviously panicking

when I was her age I joined this church

group in Utah oh lord well they were

super friendly and they had these really

big families and instead of my parents

letting me follow my dreams one night at

a dance they showed up in a van and just

carried me home in a

sack although there's a good chance I'm

still married to Father Al

okay that's it that's it that's what

happens when kids get to make their own

decisions I'm going to call the cops and

tell them what that your 18-year-old has

left home that's not a

crime well it should be a crime why

isn't it a crime because we don't live

in Utopia Rea we live in Suburbia where

life is

cheap can't call the cops can't make

moving out of crime somebody come up

with something well this is kind of

weird but there may not be anything we

can do so our daughter makes a terrible

decision with lifelong implications and

we just have to sit here and take it it

kind of looks that way

yeah wow this parenting stuff is

certainly not for sissies that's

changing in some

states just like that we lost all of our

power over well I'm not going to sit by

and lose the power to keep my daughter

from doing something stupid but Reba

there's nothing you can do well let me

tell you this there may be nothing I can

do but I'm going to go down there and

yell at her until one of us is

[Music]

[Applause]

crying hey cheyen what happened to you

in the car took me 6 hours to get home

on the bus I've been to parts of this

city that you don't want to

see but being on the bus gave me time to

think H hang on a second new idea

deodorant you can spray on other

people you can't spray things on other

people van they will arrest

you research laws regarding sprain

things on other

people well

look I'm sorry what happened in the

furniture store okay doesn't matter yes

it does matter cheyen it does matter cuz

I was wrong all right I was wrong I

don't have any taste I said that because

I thought I should but I was wrong and

you're right I

stink and I was never mistaken for a

gay and when it comes to the house you

can make all the decisions okay does

that make you feel better no why not I

don't want to leave my

mommy what Ben we cannot live without

her I mean we we were at the furniture

store and she wasn't there and we

couldn't pick out a freaking couch how

are we going to live without her so this

is what this is all about you're afraid

of leaving your mom yes she has always

been there when we needed her help your

mom isn't so hot you know a lot of the

time I bet she was just winging

it okay van you're not helping me here

cheyen come here listen do you know why

we're going to be okay do you know why

cuz your mother has taught us everything

she knows even when she's not there it's

like she's there she's like a voice in

my head constantly nagging at me okay

enough

already you hear that too I thought I

was the only one that's why we're going

to be okay because we got red in our

head okay everything's going to work out

trust me really I

promise Thank you new idea talking Reba

[Applause]

[Music]

doll Kira what a coincidence I was just

dropping by hoping I could score some

wacky to

backy haha what's that come on in thanks

for the

offer I just wanted to come by and see

where you'd uh run away to I'm 18 I'm

not running away I'm moving out and

maybe me moving out is the best thing

for both of us oh really well I checked

with myself and it

isn't

hey sorry I'm late you are a crazy

driver Miss Leadfoot bar G what are you

doing here I did want you to come over

here and Bully the dreams out of Kira so

I followed you this is between Kira and

me well I will be as quiet as a mouse

you won't even know I'm here hey

drums look here I know this has been

tough and you and I haven't seen exactly

eye to eye but you have to know there's

one thing that I want for you more than

anything else in the world and that's

I want you to be happy every parent

wants her kid to be

happy well playing music is what's going

to make me happy but you don't want me

to do that okay Kira I'm going to give

you the deep dark secret of

parenting we always say that we want our

kids to be happy but do you know what we

really want obedient robot children

we want our kids to be safe and I know

that makes me a square or a drag or

whatever word you kids are coming up

with nowadays lame they say

lame I get it all the time

I you don't need to worry about me well

tough crap because I always will always

that's what I do I'm a mom well then how

am I ever supposed to be able to make a

mistake you're not you're never supposed

to have any problems you're supposed to

have a perfect life and that's why I

want you to always listen to me and yes

I know how ridiculous this

is Mom listen to

me I'm not scared I feel okay in this

world I feel safe and that's because of

how you raised

me I must have done something terribly

terribly

wrong please Mom just want me to be

happy happy you already made me

safe I am happy for you Kieran I want

you to be

happy come on let's go home

[Music]

hey

Cara I'm really glad you came home with

me look honey I know it's a little

boring around here but I think it's very

important for you to have a stable

family environment and five six seven

and eight and step kick step B J turn

fussy H come on Jake concentrate there

are 600 other eighth graders who want

your place on the line

boy maybe I'll go back to

stitches CRA behind

you and five six seven and eight and

step K step ball chain turn FY