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04 Citizen Toxie The Toxic Avenger IV - Sci-Fi 2000 English
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[NARRATOR] 15 years ago,
in Tromaville, New Jersey,
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the toxic chemical capital of the world,
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little mop boy, Melvin Fyrd, a
98-pound weakling, was teased,
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taunted, and other bad
stuff, until he fell into a barrel
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of toxic chemical waste,
transforming little Melvin
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into a hideously deformed
creature of superhuman
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size and strength.
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Melvin became The Toxic
Avenger, the first superhero
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from New Jersey.
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Then two rotten sequels were made.
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Sorry about that, This is the real sequel.
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[ANNOUNCER] Come forward, students.
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In celebration of today's
Take a Mexican to Lunch Day,
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the cafeteria will be serving tuna tacos!
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[MARIACHI MUSIC]
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OK, kids.
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Today we're going to
celebrate our special friends
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below the border.
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We are going to celebrate
Take a Mexican to Lunch Day.
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Can you say that?
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[CLASS] [MUFFLED, SLURRED]
Take a Mexican to Lunch Day.
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Yes!
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Very, very good.
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You know, that's where
the hard working Mexicans
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take naps during the day.
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Just like us?
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Just like us.
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Exactly like us!
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Can anyone tell me... oh!
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Tito!
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Oh, baby!
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What do you think you're doing, young man?
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Listen, bitch.
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[MS. WEINER] [GASP]
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Just because I'm a tard doesn't mean
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you have to treat me like one.
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[CLASS] Yeah!
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But because I'm special, I don't think
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I'm ever going to get laid.
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[MS. WEINER] [GASP]
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So why can't I m-m-masturbate?
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[GASP] Tito!
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OK, kids.
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Now, do you know what you're eating?
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Tacos.
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Tacos!
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That's right, tacos.
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Can you say taco?
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[CLASS] Taco!
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Good!
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Taco!
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Yeah, taco!
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[GUNSHOT]
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[STUDENT] Mummy!
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[GUNFIRE]
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All right, you fucking retards.
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Drop your tacos or I'll
blow your brains out!
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[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
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Mummy!
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He's got his head up his ass.
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Ha, that's the retard!
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Fuck this, man.
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I'm out of here.
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[CACOPHONY]
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[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
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What on Earth do you think
you're doing, young man?
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I am trying to teach a class here.
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What kind of a man are you?
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Yoink!
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Please, can I? [THUD]
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[MS. WEINER] Oh!
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We interrupt our
coverage of the Smithville.
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Home for the Elderly massacre to bring
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you this very special report.
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Thank you.
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[BELL DINGS]
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Well, folks, it looks like
we've got another school
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massacre situation.
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You want to take this?
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I did the last three.
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Fine.
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The terrorist group in
question, the Diaper Mafia,
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has taken the Tromaville School
for the Very Special hostage.
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We're gonna go live now to the
Tromaville School for the Very.
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Special, where our
correspondent, Cindy Tata,
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is already questioning
Tromaville police chief
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Newman about this very subject.
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Stick with this after the
break where our very own Josh.
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Levitsky will share with us some
of his mouth-watering recipes
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for butternut squash.
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Mmm!
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- I like that.
- He's good.
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Isn't he good?
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He's like a living Martha Stewart.
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Isn't she still alive?
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Nigga, please.
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Chief Newman, what caused the Diaper.
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Mafia to commit these
horrible acts of violence?
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No comment.
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I can't believe this is
happening in Tromaville,
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Sergeant Kazinski!
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If you ask me, these Diaper Mafia punks
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are doing the world a favour!
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What is the use of sending these retards
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to school in the first place?
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[SPITS]
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[DING]
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[CAT MEOWS]
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All right, Tex.
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Time to kill another one.
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Yes, Daddy.
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Chief Newman, the Diaper
Mafia has stated they will execute
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a special student every half
hour until their demands have
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been met.
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Really?
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Yet it's been at least 35 minutes, and...
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[GUNSHOT]
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Never mind.
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Now, that's a damn shame
it had to happen on Take
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a Mexican to Lunch Day and all.
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[TEX] You hear that, pigs?
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You hear that?
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You hear this?
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[CRY] Please, don't, don't, don't...
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Yes, a tard dies every
five minutes until a Really.
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Real Bikini TV crew arrives.
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You got that?
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Got that?
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Got that?
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I'm working on it.
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I swear, I'm working on it.
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But please, don't shoot
any more of those tards!
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I... I mean, those special kids.
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Fuck the fucking tards!
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I'm sick and tired of
their drooling and whining.
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Now, why is it that when I shit my pants,
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it's a fucking social faux pas?
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But when some tard shits his pants,
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a good-looking nurse
wipes his ass for him, huh?
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She's got her head up her
ass! [GIGGLES] Hey, Tex!
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Tex, Tex! [GIGGLES] Check it out.
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Pregger pinata.
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[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
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That's real nice.
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That's real nice.
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Hey, hey!
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You got your head up your ass!
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Yeah, fuck you.
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God!
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Are they getting the people?
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That's what separates us from pussies
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like the Trenchcoat Mafia, the Flat Top.
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Mafia, and the No Pants Mafia.
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Didn't you hear what Kazinski said?
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Huh?
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[GROANING] You fucking tard.
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[SCREAM]
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[GUNSHOT]
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[GURGLING]
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[GUNSHOTS]
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[SCREAMING, MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
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[GUNSHOT]
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Mayor Goldberg, how
do you feel about the five
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very special people who are dead?
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Try not to harp about
the five that are dead.
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Think about the hundreds
of students that are
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still living, still breathing.
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And let's pray for an
end to all this murder
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and mayhem and garbage.
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Let's pray.
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I'm not a $500 charge.
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Ray!
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It'll be $150, if...
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Get on the phone!
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Go! Get off!
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I'll talk to you later.
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Let's pray.
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Let's pray, God damn it!
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You, too.
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Oh, Lord, in your divine
wisdom, please find it in your heart
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to put an end to all this murder and filth
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and trash and garbage.
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Oh.
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And please help us to get
re-elected one more time, OK?
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Thank you very much, God. And amen.
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Amen!
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Dayenu.
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Thank God you're here.
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What took you so long?
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I had to change.
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It takes a while.
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Yeah, OK.
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All right, kid.
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Hold on, all right?
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I got the Really Real Bikini TV crew here.
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[CHEERS AND WHISTLES]
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The Diaper Mafia's demands
have not yet been issued,
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and yet speculation has
already begun as to the motivation
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behind the senseless attack on the mentally
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feeble student body.
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What do you think, Randy?
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00:08:16,770 --> 00:08:18,356
I'm going to have to
go with the heavy metal
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music on this one, Jason.
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Ah, interesting.
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00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:23,596
But what about that
best-selling video game,
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Kill All the Retards?
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00:08:25,890 --> 00:08:26,717
Could be a factor.
209
00:08:26,741 --> 00:08:27,961
Could be a factor here, Jason.
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00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:31,356
But we cannot forget about the rap music.
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Very popular with the kids.
212
00:08:32,940 --> 00:08:35,216
I personally am not a fan of rap music.
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00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,871
I think you could put a c in front of rap
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and call it you-know-what.
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00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:39,455
Well, I don't think you need to go that far.
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00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:40,256
Not a fan.
217
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,589
- Think you're going too far.
- Not a fan.
218
00:08:41,613 --> 00:08:43,640
All right. I think you've established that.
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00:08:43,664 --> 00:08:50,106
You know, I think the worst
part is that we'll never know.
220
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,666
But that won't stop me
from casting my final vote
221
00:08:52,690 --> 00:08:54,076
for violence in the movies.
222
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,456
Well, it certainly couldn't
be violence in the news.
223
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,257
Oh, God, no.
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00:08:57,281 --> 00:08:59,506
We may broadcast death and tragedy,
225
00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:01,526
but this newscaster knows in his heart,
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00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:02,676
and I think you'll back me up
227
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:03,928
I would back you up.
228
00:09:03,952 --> 00:09:05,146
Thank you.
229
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,820
We would never glorify it.
230
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:15,010
You like that, don't you, retard?
231
00:09:18,866 --> 00:09:20,296
Hello, Tex.
232
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,246
Samantha Chambers, really real bikini TV.
233
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:26,526
This is my morbidly obese sidekick
234
00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:29,856
I mean, uh, cameraman, Joe.
235
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,686
Well, Samantha, looks like I won't
236
00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:33,076
have to frisk you for weapons.
237
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,397
[LAUGHTER]
238
00:09:39,223 --> 00:09:40,616
Shut up!
239
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:41,522
Listen, lady.
240
00:09:41,546 --> 00:09:43,236
I didn't call you in here to fuck you.
241
00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:44,636
I called you in here because The Really.
242
00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:47,496
Real Bikini TV Show is the
number one show in America.
243
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,766
Now tell fatty there to turn on the camera.
244
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,486
I'm gonna show you something.
245
00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:53,386
OK.
246
00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:57,186
You see this bitch right here?
247
00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:59,580
Wasting perfectly good tax dollars trying
248
00:09:59,604 --> 00:10:01,776
to teach the unteachable.
249
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,641
And if there's one thing the Diaper.
250
00:10:03,665 --> 00:10:09,921
Mafia hates more than
retards, it's genetic traitors.
251
00:10:09,945 --> 00:10:15,556
Now, I'm gonna show you
what we do to bitches like that.
252
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:16,580
No!
253
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,785
[SCREAMING]
254
00:10:40,635 --> 00:10:43,086
[TEX] What the...
255
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,575
[ROARING]
256
00:10:59,445 --> 00:11:00,906
Oh, my God!
257
00:11:00,930 --> 00:11:02,886
It's the Toxic Avenger!
258
00:11:02,910 --> 00:11:06,524
Tromaville's favourite hideously
deformed creature of superhuman
259
00:11:06,548 --> 00:11:11,528
size and strength! [SCREAMS]
260
00:11:30,950 --> 00:11:32,918
Well, if that's the Toxic Avenger,
261
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:37,898
where's his morbidly obese
ward and sidekick, Fatass?
262
00:11:37,922 --> 00:11:41,384
It's Lardass, punk!
263
00:11:41,408 --> 00:11:44,870
[CHEERING]
264
00:11:44,894 --> 00:11:45,894
Let's fight.
265
00:11:57,344 --> 00:11:59,834
Guy's just got his head
up his ass. [GIGGLES]
266
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:21,162
I got my head up my ass. [GIGGLES]
267
00:12:21,186 --> 00:12:24,588
[SHRIEKING]
268
00:12:27,504 --> 00:12:29,411
Children, duck!
269
00:12:29,435 --> 00:12:30,212
Duck!
270
00:12:30,236 --> 00:12:31,696
[QUACKING]
271
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,171
No!
272
00:12:34,195 --> 00:12:36,646
No, no, no, no, no!
273
00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:38,626
Toxie!
274
00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:42,115
[GUNFIRE]
275
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,965
[MUSIC PLAYING]
276
00:13:12,995 --> 00:13:13,995
No!
277
00:13:20,780 --> 00:13:24,060
[LARDASS] Dead retards, Toxie.
278
00:13:24,084 --> 00:13:27,000
[FARTS] Oh, the humanity!
279
00:13:32,346 --> 00:13:33,355
Go get him, Toxie!
280
00:13:37,614 --> 00:13:39,916
You can't kill me, Toxie.
281
00:13:39,940 --> 00:13:42,238
See this detonation meter on my chest?
282
00:13:42,262 --> 00:13:43,150
Huh?
283
00:13:43,174 --> 00:13:44,067
Huh?
284
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:45,446
The bomb over there in the corner?
285
00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,806
Kiss your school goodbye.
286
00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:50,226
Oh, my God!
287
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:52,020
Five seconds after my heart stops,
288
00:13:52,044 --> 00:13:55,276
this building is nothing but
dead tards and charred lard!
289
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,551
Hey, it's glandular!
290
00:13:56,575 --> 00:13:57,382
That's right.
291
00:13:57,406 --> 00:13:59,106
Kazinski said you'd be here.
292
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,097
Oh, that's right.
293
00:14:00,121 --> 00:14:02,436
Sergeant Theodore Kazinski.
294
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:04,246
Tromaville ATF.
295
00:14:04,270 --> 00:14:05,546
Where do you think I got all these guns
296
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:06,891
in the first place anyway, huh?
297
00:14:06,915 --> 00:14:08,658
You understand that this world is
298
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,733
full of unthinking cattle that need to be
299
00:14:10,757 --> 00:14:11,978
led into the new millennium.
300
00:14:12,002 --> 00:14:14,468
A new order.
301
00:14:14,492 --> 00:14:16,128
And the first step in that process
302
00:14:16,152 --> 00:14:19,156
is to eliminate all these
retarded genetically
303
00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:22,590
mutated freaks and shit.
304
00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:25,534
That wasn't a nice thing to say.
305
00:14:25,558 --> 00:14:26,998
No, no, no.
306
00:14:27,022 --> 00:14:28,579
Excuse me, Ms. Weiner.
307
00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:31,556
Toxie, you were always my best student.
308
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,668
Thanks.
309
00:14:33,692 --> 00:14:34,661
No, Toxie!
310
00:14:34,685 --> 00:14:37,164
Don't let your Tromatons control you!
311
00:14:42,124 --> 00:14:45,596
[TEX] [SCREAMING]
312
00:14:58,492 --> 00:14:59,461
[LARDASS] Wait, Toxie!
313
00:14:59,485 --> 00:15:02,132
If his heart stops, the bomb will go off!
314
00:15:02,156 --> 00:15:02,933
[TEX] My heart!
315
00:15:02,957 --> 00:15:06,900
Put it back in!
316
00:15:06,924 --> 00:15:09,572
[SCREAMING] Ow!
317
00:15:09,596 --> 00:15:10,373
Ow!
318
00:15:10,397 --> 00:15:12,052
Ow!
319
00:15:12,076 --> 00:15:13,076
Ow!
320
00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:17,097
Ah, there you go.
321
00:15:17,121 --> 00:15:19,240
Good as new.
322
00:15:19,264 --> 00:15:22,736
[ALL] [SCREAMING]
323
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:27,766
[TOXIE] Oh, darn it.
324
00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:29,856
Come on, Toxie! [FART]
Let's get these kids out of here!
325
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,496
[FART] This building's about to explode!
326
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,256
[WOMAN'S VOICE] This bomb is now armed.
327
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,475
Detonation in T-minus five seconds.
328
00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:43,750
[SCREAMING]
329
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,616
This would be easier if I had a mop.
330
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,720
[WOMAN'S VOICE] T-minus five seconds.
331
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,636
These drugs are gonna blow my ass off.
332
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:06,066
What the?
333
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,426
Didn't your special helper tell you
334
00:16:07,450 --> 00:16:08,596
that drugs were bad for you?
335
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:11,006
Look, um, super zero.
336
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:14,664
I'm just trying to act like all
the other cool cats my age.
337
00:16:14,688 --> 00:16:19,046
[YELP] What's the deal, Tox?
338
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:21,566
Well, the deal is I just can't stand
339
00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:24,376
by and watch you kill yourself.
340
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,816
I'm not killing myself.
341
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,991
Drugs kill my pain.
342
00:16:29,015 --> 00:16:31,206
Being a teenager sucks.
343
00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:32,007
Yeah, well.
344
00:16:32,031 --> 00:16:35,016
Being a retarded teenagers sucks worse.
345
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,576
Drugs make it suck less.
346
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,606
Well, you're pretty articulate
for a druggie special student.
347
00:16:41,630 --> 00:16:43,348
What's articulate?
348
00:16:43,372 --> 00:16:44,372
Ah.
349
00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:49,992
Come on.
350
00:16:50,016 --> 00:16:51,774
[WOMAN'S VOICE] T-minus four seconds.
351
00:16:55,092 --> 00:16:56,490
[LARDASS] Hey, Toxie!
352
00:16:56,514 --> 00:16:59,808
Batter up!
353
00:16:59,832 --> 00:17:02,150
[KARATE NOISES, INTERMITTENT FARTING]
354
00:17:09,089 --> 00:17:10,514
[MS. WEINER] [SCREAMS] Toxie!
355
00:17:10,538 --> 00:17:14,861
Church and state must remain separated!
356
00:17:14,885 --> 00:17:18,266
[ROARING]
357
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:21,696
[BELL RINGS]
358
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:22,668
Holy cow.
359
00:17:22,692 --> 00:17:23,469
Lardass!
360
00:17:23,493 --> 00:17:25,016
I've got to go impregnate my wife.
361
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:26,576
It's time.
362
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,876
Action sausage nunchucks!
363
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:30,847
Deli style!
364
00:17:30,871 --> 00:17:34,174
[FART]
365
00:17:34,198 --> 00:17:37,096
[WOMAN'S VOICE] T-minus three seconds.
366
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:40,529
[MUSIC PLAYING]
367
00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:47,323
Oh, Toxie, hurry!
368
00:17:47,347 --> 00:17:50,245
Do you feel what time it is?
369
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:51,076
Oh!
370
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:51,877
Oh yeah!
371
00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:54,894
[GRUNTING, MOANING]
372
00:17:56,890 --> 00:17:57,865
Oh, Toxie!
373
00:17:57,889 --> 00:18:01,381
[GRUNTING, MOANING]
374
00:18:02,878 --> 00:18:05,872
[STEAM WHISTLE]
375
00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:19,040
Oh, Toxie.
376
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:23,203
In my blind eyes, you are the most
377
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,113
beautiful man in the world.
378
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,906
[WOMAN'S VOICE] Three seconds.
379
00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:34,430
[CHUCKLING]
380
00:18:37,418 --> 00:18:39,378
[SCREAM, THUD]
381
00:18:39,402 --> 00:18:44,338
I can't believe it's not butter!
382
00:18:44,362 --> 00:18:46,306
[TOXIE] You know,
Sarah, I have a good feeling
383
00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:48,916
about the sex we had just now.
384
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,526
I really think you got pregnant.
385
00:18:50,550 --> 00:18:51,326
Oh!
386
00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:52,311
What time is it?
387
00:18:52,335 --> 00:18:53,214
Oh!
388
00:18:53,238 --> 00:18:54,151
Melvin!
389
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:57,456
What's gotten into you?
390
00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,606
I know, you're really
excited about the results
391
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:02,920
of this pregnancy test, aren't you?
392
00:19:02,944 --> 00:19:04,956
[TOXIE] Um, yeah, that's it, Sarah.
393
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:08,470
I... no, Sarah.
394
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:09,536
I got to get back to the school.
395
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,976
The special kids are in trouble.
396
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,776
What am I to you any more, Melvin?
397
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:17,073
I feel like just a giant ovary with 110
398
00:19:17,097 --> 00:19:18,756
pounds of flesh attached.
399
00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:19,896
God!
400
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,606
Sarah, what are you saying?
401
00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:22,996
That's not what it is all!
402
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:24,066
I love you.
403
00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:26,756
Well, I just can't seem to
understand why Lardass
404
00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:29,516
can't do some of the
crime-fighting by himself some
405
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:31,366
of the time.
406
00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:32,376
I know, I know.
407
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,236
Lardass is all grown up now, but when
408
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,046
I made him my ward all those years ago,
409
00:19:36,070 --> 00:19:38,526
I promised him we'd be partners.
410
00:19:38,550 --> 00:19:43,636
I know he's a big boy now...
a really, really big boy now,
411
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:47,326
but he's just not ready to
defend Tromaville on his own.
412
00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:50,586
You go to your Lardass.
413
00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:53,586
Maybe he'll have your baby for you.
414
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,676
I love you, Sarah.
415
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:56,700
Yeah.
416
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:01,460
Oh, he's here!
417
00:20:01,484 --> 00:20:04,963
[CHEERING]
418
00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:09,926
Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD.
419
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:12,356
Why aren't you in there
helping the Toxic Avenger?
420
00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:14,056
I'm a New York City police officer,
421
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,666
and this is not my jurisdiction.
422
00:20:15,690 --> 00:20:17,506
Besides, Toxie suggested I stay out
423
00:20:17,530 --> 00:20:18,966
here and stake out the area. Yeah.
424
00:20:18,990 --> 00:20:21,146
Because I can guard everyone
out here with my amazing Oriental
425
00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:22,186
superpowers.
426
00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:24,576
And so everyone should
be safe outside with me
427
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,982
here behind this fence.
428
00:20:26,006 --> 00:20:27,281
And I think you should actually come
429
00:20:27,305 --> 00:20:28,386
in here with, uh, Kabukiman.
430
00:20:28,410 --> 00:20:29,346
No. [SHRIEKS]
431
00:20:29,370 --> 00:20:30,370
Yes, that's...
432
00:20:33,956 --> 00:20:38,006
[WOMAN'S VOICE] T-minus two seconds.
433
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,286
Toxie.
434
00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:40,087
Toxie!
435
00:20:40,111 --> 00:20:42,393
The bomb's about to go off!
436
00:20:42,417 --> 00:20:45,135
[WOMAN'S VOICE] T-minus one second.
437
00:20:45,159 --> 00:20:48,306
What happened to my
emergency peanut butter?
438
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,106
[TOXIE] Come on, kids.
439
00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:49,907
Let's go.
440
00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:50,926
We have no time to waste.
441
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:53,306
We've got to evacuate the building.
442
00:20:53,330 --> 00:20:54,686
You're dead.
443
00:20:54,710 --> 00:20:56,126
You will be dead.
444
00:20:56,150 --> 00:20:58,046
You.
445
00:20:58,070 --> 00:20:59,486
Oh, come on.
446
00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:00,926
You're dead.
447
00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:02,160
Let's get out of here. Come on!
448
00:21:02,184 --> 00:21:03,194
Let's go! Move it!
449
00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:04,394
[WOMAN'S VOICE] T-minus zero seconds.
450
00:21:04,418 --> 00:21:06,796
The bomb will now blow up.
451
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:08,336
Thank you for shopping...
452
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:09,136
[TOXIE] Lardass!
453
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:09,977
What are you doing?
454
00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:11,332
We've got to get out of here!
455
00:21:11,356 --> 00:21:12,324
No, Melvin.
456
00:21:12,348 --> 00:21:13,317
There's no time.
457
00:21:13,341 --> 00:21:15,300
There are too many people in the building.
458
00:21:15,324 --> 00:21:17,656
We'll never get them out!
459
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:18,457
[TOXIE] Lardass, no!
460
00:21:18,481 --> 00:21:20,766
Don't eat the bomb!
461
00:21:20,790 --> 00:21:21,726
Lardass!
462
00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:22,687
No!
463
00:21:22,711 --> 00:21:25,291
Even your superhuman
stomach can't contain it.
464
00:21:25,315 --> 00:21:26,315
No!
465
00:21:38,985 --> 00:21:42,450
[FARTING]
466
00:21:52,074 --> 00:21:55,553
[EXPLOSION]
467
00:22:06,487 --> 00:22:09,445
[COUGHING] Oh, lord.
468
00:22:09,469 --> 00:22:12,427
What have I done?
469
00:22:12,451 --> 00:22:14,301
It's OK, Toxie.
470
00:22:14,325 --> 00:22:15,776
We loves you.
471
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,541
Speak for yourself, biatch.
472
00:22:18,565 --> 00:22:19,796
Fuck this place, man.
473
00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:21,046
I'm out of here.
474
00:22:21,070 --> 00:22:22,766
Get out of my way, pussies.
475
00:22:22,790 --> 00:22:24,806
Oh, Lardass.
476
00:22:24,830 --> 00:22:25,830
My friend.
477
00:22:31,366 --> 00:22:35,031
[ROARING]
478
00:22:35,055 --> 00:22:36,973
All right, men.
479
00:22:36,997 --> 00:22:42,937
Ready, aim, make guns go bang!
480
00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:46,440
[GUNSHOTS]
481
00:22:53,398 --> 00:22:54,369
All right, men.
482
00:22:54,393 --> 00:22:55,396
Let's move after him!
483
00:22:55,420 --> 00:22:57,350
But use extreme caution.
484
00:22:57,374 --> 00:23:00,131
That lumpy-headed bastard is dangerous!
485
00:23:00,155 --> 00:23:03,524
[GUNSHOTS]
486
00:23:08,015 --> 00:23:09,187
Get in the car!
487
00:23:09,211 --> 00:23:10,211
OK.
488
00:23:16,350 --> 00:23:19,016
I suppose I owe you a thanks.
489
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,356
Don't mention it, boss.
490
00:23:20,380 --> 00:23:22,311
I'm just glad I decided to stick around.
491
00:23:22,335 --> 00:23:25,906
I had a bad feeling about
that crack deal from day one.
492
00:23:25,930 --> 00:23:28,346
You just can't trust
school kids these days.
493
00:23:28,370 --> 00:23:30,256
Crack deal?
494
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,806
Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD,
what are you talking about?
495
00:23:32,830 --> 00:23:33,916
Sergeant?
496
00:23:33,940 --> 00:23:35,206
NYPD?
497
00:23:35,230 --> 00:23:36,066
What?
498
00:23:36,090 --> 00:23:36,927
Huh?
499
00:23:36,951 --> 00:23:38,296
What's wrong with you, Noxie?
500
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:43,264
Are you selling the crack,
or are you smoking it?
501
00:23:43,288 --> 00:23:44,452
[SIRENS]
502
00:23:44,476 --> 00:23:45,253
Shit.
503
00:23:45,277 --> 00:23:46,937
Hang on, Noxie!
504
00:23:46,961 --> 00:23:47,737
Noxie?
505
00:23:47,761 --> 00:23:48,761
Whoa!
506
00:23:52,234 --> 00:23:53,205
Did you see that?
507
00:23:53,229 --> 00:23:55,386
That was a stop sign!
508
00:23:55,410 --> 00:23:56,410
Oh!
509
00:23:59,192 --> 00:24:00,192
Look out!
510
00:24:03,168 --> 00:24:04,635
Whoa!
511
00:24:04,659 --> 00:24:07,120
What are you doing?
512
00:24:07,144 --> 00:24:09,108
Those are police!
513
00:24:09,132 --> 00:24:10,599
What's wrong with you, Noxie?
514
00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:13,084
You'd think you'd never been
chased by the cops before.
515
00:24:13,108 --> 00:24:15,569
I haven't.
516
00:24:15,593 --> 00:24:17,084
Oh, my God!
517
00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:25,036
What's gonna happen?
518
00:24:37,461 --> 00:24:40,940
[CHEERING]
519
00:25:00,323 --> 00:25:01,293
Everybody back!
520
00:25:01,317 --> 00:25:02,206
Everyone back!
521
00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:03,007
Just relax!
522
00:25:03,031 --> 00:25:04,946
Stay calm!
523
00:25:04,970 --> 00:25:08,026
Toxie, are you all right?
524
00:25:08,050 --> 00:25:10,597
What happened in there?
525
00:25:10,621 --> 00:25:11,785
Hey, medics! Medics!
526
00:25:11,809 --> 00:25:12,586
Get over here!
527
00:25:12,610 --> 00:25:15,567
Get Toxie over to the emergency ward!
528
00:25:15,591 --> 00:25:17,082
You all right?
529
00:25:21,058 --> 00:25:24,537
[SCREAMING]
530
00:25:30,004 --> 00:25:33,483
[ALL] [SCREAMING]
531
00:25:37,956 --> 00:25:39,447
Stay back, everybody!
532
00:25:42,926 --> 00:25:43,926
He's armed!
533
00:25:46,902 --> 00:25:49,860
What the hell did you do to the chief?
534
00:25:49,884 --> 00:25:50,855
Whoa!
535
00:25:50,879 --> 00:25:53,012
Go, Toxie!
536
00:25:53,036 --> 00:25:55,065
Toxie, what could have
prompted this vicious attack
537
00:25:55,089 --> 00:25:56,310
on the citizens of Tromaville?
538
00:25:56,334 --> 00:25:58,824
No fucking comment, you twat.
539
00:26:02,506 --> 00:26:03,283
Here.
540
00:26:03,307 --> 00:26:04,800
How about some hand-me-downs?
541
00:26:07,788 --> 00:26:10,254
I know this must be painful for you, Toxie.
542
00:26:10,278 --> 00:26:11,748
Any final statement?
543
00:26:11,772 --> 00:26:13,764
Shut your fucking cake hole.
544
00:26:25,716 --> 00:26:26,896
This doesn't look good.
545
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,718
No, it doesn't fucking look good.
546
00:26:35,564 --> 00:26:37,501
We should do something.
547
00:26:37,525 --> 00:26:38,302
Do something like what?
548
00:26:38,326 --> 00:26:40,420
Did you see what he just
did to the fucking chief?
549
00:26:48,420 --> 00:26:50,396
Fuck that, I'm leaving.
550
00:26:50,420 --> 00:26:51,396
Are you coming?
551
00:26:51,420 --> 00:26:52,420
Yeah, OK.
552
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,096
Faggot number one, meet faggot number two.
553
00:26:59,120 --> 00:26:59,896
[THUD]
554
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:00,920
Bingo!
555
00:27:04,420 --> 00:27:06,396
Say it ain't so, Toxie!
556
00:27:06,420 --> 00:27:07,896
Say it ain't so!
557
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,576
It is so.
558
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,476
Hold this, fat ass.
559
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:12,570
Whoopsie daisy!
560
00:27:21,730 --> 00:27:24,066
Coming up at 11:00, Toxie kills virtually
561
00:27:24,090 --> 00:27:25,216
everyone in Tromaville.
562
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,990
And our very own Josh
Levitsky gets jiggy with it.
563
00:27:42,432 --> 00:27:43,926
That's good shit.
564
00:27:49,404 --> 00:27:52,392
[MUSIC PLAYING]
565
00:27:57,870 --> 00:28:01,332
[SIRENS APPROACHING]
566
00:28:01,356 --> 00:28:04,842
[MUSIC PLAYING]
567
00:28:13,308 --> 00:28:14,778
Hang on, Noxie.
568
00:28:14,802 --> 00:28:16,296
I can't pass this up.
569
00:28:19,782 --> 00:28:20,755
[TOXIE] Kabukiman!
570
00:28:20,779 --> 00:28:22,746
That's an illegal U-turn!
571
00:28:22,770 --> 00:28:26,256
[MUSIC PLAYING, SIRENS APPROACHING]
572
00:28:33,726 --> 00:28:37,188
Old lady, dead ahead!
573
00:28:37,212 --> 00:28:40,698
[LAUGHING]
574
00:29:01,116 --> 00:29:04,602
[BOTH YELLING]
575
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:15,930
This is an American made car.
576
00:29:15,954 --> 00:29:18,094
Every time they flip 25 feet
in the air and crash down,
577
00:29:18,118 --> 00:29:18,895
they blow up.
578
00:29:18,919 --> 00:29:20,400
Let's get out of here!
579
00:29:23,858 --> 00:29:27,316
[EXPLOSION]
580
00:29:32,750 --> 00:29:35,196
God damn cock sucking mother fucking...
581
00:29:35,220 --> 00:29:38,160
Toxie, the children picked these for you.
582
00:29:38,184 --> 00:29:40,136
Oh, go fuck yourselves.
583
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,606
Toxie!
584
00:29:42,630 --> 00:29:45,586
[IN UNISON] What the hell is going on here?
585
00:29:45,610 --> 00:29:47,986
What is going on, indeed?
586
00:29:48,010 --> 00:29:50,334
The events which you are witnessing
587
00:29:50,358 --> 00:29:53,141
have proven my theories regarding
588
00:29:53,165 --> 00:29:58,512
the truly fragile nature of
the space-time continuum.
589
00:29:58,536 --> 00:30:01,440
Nurse?
590
00:30:01,464 --> 00:30:02,996
[SIGH]
591
00:30:03,020 --> 00:30:04,020
Blackboard.
592
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,906
As you can plainly
see, for every dimension,
593
00:30:17,930 --> 00:30:22,806
there exists a diametric
opposite of that dimension.
594
00:30:22,830 --> 00:30:27,421
When two explosions of equal
mass occurred simultaneously,
595
00:30:27,445 --> 00:30:30,652
the barrier between Tromaville and
596
00:30:30,676 --> 00:30:34,138
its dimensional doppelganger, Amortville,
597
00:30:34,162 --> 00:30:36,628
was weakened for a moment.
598
00:30:36,652 --> 00:30:39,616
This breach caused the Toxic Avenger,
599
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,604
and his evil opposite,
the Noxious Offender,
600
00:30:42,628 --> 00:30:46,090
to enter each other's realities.
601
00:30:46,114 --> 00:30:49,066
Wow, that's pretty good for a shriveled up
602
00:30:49,090 --> 00:30:52,996
cripple, who can't get it up.
603
00:30:53,020 --> 00:30:55,504
That is it, Hell bitch.
604
00:30:55,528 --> 00:30:58,241
I don't need to take this shit from you.
605
00:30:58,265 --> 00:31:03,006
My erectile dysfunction
has been resolved, see?
606
00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:06,286
Thanks to the modern
miracle of penile implants,
607
00:31:06,310 --> 00:31:09,996
it merely takes a few
squeezes of my scrotal bulb
608
00:31:10,020 --> 00:31:14,676
to bring my once massive
member to a permanent state
609
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:15,657
of tumescence.
610
00:31:15,681 --> 00:31:18,558
Now get over here, and I'll show you.
611
00:31:18,582 --> 00:31:19,359
Shriveled?
612
00:31:19,383 --> 00:31:20,837
You're gonna love it!
613
00:31:20,861 --> 00:31:22,502
Oh, uh, pardon me.
614
00:31:22,526 --> 00:31:23,303
Uh, excuse me.
615
00:31:23,327 --> 00:31:24,805
Uh, coming through.
616
00:31:30,721 --> 00:31:35,780
I die, but my insane theories live on.
617
00:31:47,492 --> 00:31:49,236
[TOXIE] Oh, my.
618
00:31:49,260 --> 00:31:50,037
Hey, Noxie.
619
00:31:50,061 --> 00:31:52,556
Want some of this?
620
00:31:52,580 --> 00:31:54,596
Uh, no thank you.
621
00:31:54,620 --> 00:31:57,056
Thanks for the offer, but no.
622
00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,352
That better be insulin, young man.
623
00:31:59,376 --> 00:32:01,344
[NOXIE] Where the fuck am I?
624
00:32:01,368 --> 00:32:02,341
Oh, God.
625
00:32:02,365 --> 00:32:06,836
This is totally fucking shit.
626
00:32:06,860 --> 00:32:08,258
Oh, fuck.
627
00:32:08,282 --> 00:32:09,734
Fuck balloons.
628
00:32:09,758 --> 00:32:11,702
Die.
629
00:32:11,726 --> 00:32:14,326
Noxie, baby, I been looking for you.
630
00:32:14,350 --> 00:32:16,130
I been jonesing real bad.
631
00:32:16,154 --> 00:32:19,574
I wanna trade.
632
00:32:19,598 --> 00:32:21,566
Noxie, I wanna feel incredible!
633
00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:29,906
Noxie, please!
634
00:32:29,930 --> 00:32:32,858
Where are you going?
635
00:32:32,882 --> 00:32:34,806
Jesus loves you, Toxie.
636
00:32:34,830 --> 00:32:35,830
Ah, fuck you.
637
00:32:41,790 --> 00:32:44,746
[IN UNISON] What is this evil, evil place?
638
00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:51,016
Toxie!
639
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,706
Nice work at the school, my friend.
640
00:32:53,730 --> 00:32:56,190
Do you need a ride some place?
641
00:32:58,750 --> 00:32:59,836
Grandma? Grandma?
642
00:32:59,860 --> 00:33:00,537
Grandma? Grandma?
643
00:33:00,561 --> 00:33:01,958
Grandma? Grandma?
644
00:33:01,982 --> 00:33:02,907
Gr-Grandma?
645
00:33:02,931 --> 00:33:04,806
Gra...
646
00:33:04,830 --> 00:33:10,566
How am I supposed to smoke
this crack without a fucking pipe?
647
00:33:10,590 --> 00:33:12,136
Fuck off, spazmo.
648
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,486
That's the deal.
649
00:33:14,510 --> 00:33:16,776
But-but-but the deal was the three of you
650
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,446
guys for a rock and a stem.
651
00:33:18,470 --> 00:33:19,688
Look, look, look.
652
00:33:19,712 --> 00:33:20,832
You got your crack, right?
653
00:33:20,856 --> 00:33:21,633
Right?
654
00:33:21,657 --> 00:33:23,900
Now go smoke your shit and get out of here.
655
00:33:23,924 --> 00:33:26,496
We'll try not to fuck her
up too bad for you, OK?
656
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:30,380
But-but-but... but that wasn't the deal.
657
00:33:30,404 --> 00:33:31,305
That's it.
658
00:33:31,329 --> 00:33:34,032
Now I'm gonna have to freak you.
659
00:33:37,448 --> 00:33:38,706
Stop that right now!
660
00:33:38,730 --> 00:33:39,906
Huh? Hey.
661
00:33:39,930 --> 00:33:41,076
Hey, Noxie!
662
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:42,296
What's going on, man?
663
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,606
You want to help us
beat up the retarded guy?
664
00:33:45,630 --> 00:33:49,914
You... hey, you want to help us rape her?
665
00:33:49,938 --> 00:33:50,871
Yeah, yeah!
666
00:33:50,895 --> 00:33:52,066
Didn't you three learn your lesson
667
00:33:52,090 --> 00:33:54,446
the last time I disembowelled you,
668
00:33:54,470 --> 00:33:56,146
shoved your head up your ass, and killed
669
00:33:56,170 --> 00:33:57,332
- you with your own diaper?
- What?
670
00:33:57,356 --> 00:33:58,133
What?
671
00:33:58,157 --> 00:33:59,176
Huh?
672
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:00,200
Guess not.
673
00:34:45,816 --> 00:34:46,925
Sweetie, are you OK?
674
00:34:46,949 --> 00:34:49,616
Those bad boys were trying to touch me.
675
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:50,431
Bad boys, bad boys.
676
00:34:50,455 --> 00:34:51,417
They're gone now, honey.
677
00:34:51,441 --> 00:34:52,546
Everything's OK.
678
00:34:52,570 --> 00:34:56,026
I keep calling you sweetie and honey.
679
00:34:56,050 --> 00:34:57,201
What's your name, little girl?
680
00:34:57,225 --> 00:34:59,146
Sweetie Honey.
681
00:34:59,170 --> 00:35:00,456
Well.
682
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:01,257
OK.
683
00:35:01,281 --> 00:35:02,566
Do you know where you live?
684
00:35:02,590 --> 00:35:03,596
We've got to get you home.
685
00:35:03,620 --> 00:35:06,665
I tried, but my home was gone.
686
00:35:06,689 --> 00:35:09,539
1122 Maple Grove Road,
Tromaville, New Jersey,
687
00:35:09,563 --> 00:35:13,856
just like Grandma said, and it was gone!
688
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,386
And you.
689
00:35:15,410 --> 00:35:16,956
What the heck were you doing?
690
00:35:16,980 --> 00:35:19,016
Looking for a crack pipe.
691
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,886
What did it look like I was doing?
692
00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:24,281
It looked like you were selling
Sweetie Honey for drugs.
693
00:35:24,305 --> 00:35:26,726
And it looked like I saved
you from a severe beating.
694
00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:29,556
What are you doing here,
and where is your home?
695
00:35:29,580 --> 00:35:32,310
Man, I don't have a home.
696
00:35:32,334 --> 00:35:35,126
I am a loner.
697
00:35:35,150 --> 00:35:36,896
And Sweetie's house is gone.
698
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,236
Just like she said.
699
00:35:38,260 --> 00:35:39,966
That's ridiculous!
700
00:35:39,990 --> 00:35:41,346
Come on, Sweetie Honey.
701
00:35:41,370 --> 00:35:44,936
OK. [SINGING]
702
00:35:46,409 --> 00:35:47,337
See, kids?
703
00:35:47,361 --> 00:35:49,346
Here's the dump, right
where I said it would be.
704
00:35:49,370 --> 00:35:51,176
Now go in my shack and call your parents.
705
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:51,977
Parents?
706
00:35:52,001 --> 00:35:53,346
I have no parents.
707
00:35:53,370 --> 00:35:55,696
Mum and Dad died, and
then Auntie Em took me,
708
00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,636
but Auntie Em hit me too much, so then
709
00:35:57,660 --> 00:35:59,726
a nice lady took me to Grandma.
710
00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:01,726
OK, well, call whoever, and then
711
00:36:01,750 --> 00:36:08,751
Sarah will make you some
lunch, and... Where's my shack?
712
00:36:08,775 --> 00:36:10,332
It was right here.
713
00:36:10,356 --> 00:36:11,133
See?
714
00:36:11,157 --> 00:36:14,096
I told you.
715
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,686
I don't think we're in
Tromaville any more, Toto.
716
00:36:16,710 --> 00:36:18,096
Tito.
717
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:19,996
My name is Tito.
718
00:36:20,020 --> 00:36:21,006
Whatever.
719
00:36:21,030 --> 00:36:25,581
What are you going to
do now, Mr. King Shit?
720
00:36:25,605 --> 00:36:26,741
I don't know.
721
00:36:26,765 --> 00:36:27,926
I really don't know.
722
00:36:27,950 --> 00:36:28,927
I'm hungry!
723
00:36:28,951 --> 00:36:30,443
You said I was gonna have lunch!
724
00:36:30,467 --> 00:36:33,306
I'm really, really hungry!
[GASP] You brought lunch, too?
725
00:36:33,330 --> 00:36:36,401
No, see I'm a junkie,
so I don't have to eat.
726
00:36:36,425 --> 00:36:37,806
But boy, am I thirsty.
727
00:36:37,830 --> 00:36:38,976
Do we... do we have any whiskey?
728
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:39,776
Any booze?
729
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:40,706
Here you go, kids.
730
00:36:40,730 --> 00:36:41,810
Something to eat and drink.
731
00:36:47,245 --> 00:36:49,596
[SPITS] Ugh, gross.
732
00:36:49,620 --> 00:36:51,956
This whiskey tastes
like pregnant lady's piss.
733
00:36:51,980 --> 00:36:53,868
What kind of sandwich is this?
734
00:36:56,700 --> 00:36:59,598
Congratulations/Sorry you're pregnant.
735
00:36:59,622 --> 00:37:01,286
You know, I don't know
why on the commercials
736
00:37:01,310 --> 00:37:03,436
they always say these
pregnancy tests are hard to read.
737
00:37:03,460 --> 00:37:07,176
This seems pretty clear
to me... oh, my gosh!
738
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:07,997
We did it!
739
00:37:08,021 --> 00:37:09,316
I'm going to be a daddy!
740
00:37:09,340 --> 00:37:10,466
A daddy?
741
00:37:10,490 --> 00:37:11,656
- Yeah, I made a baby!
- Baby?
742
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:12,456
Yes!
743
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,436
I love babies!
744
00:37:13,460 --> 00:37:14,237
Yes!
745
00:37:14,261 --> 00:37:16,496
[SINGSONG VOICE] Babies, babies, babies!
746
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:17,297
Wait a second.
747
00:37:17,321 --> 00:37:18,356
Wait a second.
748
00:37:18,380 --> 00:37:20,426
I gotta find Sara.
749
00:37:20,450 --> 00:37:22,876
I gotta... I gotta find out how to get home.
750
00:37:22,900 --> 00:37:23,916
I gotta do something.
751
00:37:23,940 --> 00:37:25,416
You gotta get me lunch?
752
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:26,976
Yeah.
753
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:27,981
OK.
754
00:37:28,005 --> 00:37:30,356
Um, I'm going to figure
out how to get us home,
755
00:37:30,380 --> 00:37:31,766
and I'm gonna get you some lunch,
756
00:37:31,790 --> 00:37:34,156
and, uh... you two stay here.
757
00:37:34,180 --> 00:37:35,516
- Stay here?
- Stay here.
758
00:37:35,540 --> 00:37:36,317
Here?
759
00:37:36,341 --> 00:37:38,336
Yeah, it's a lot safer here.
760
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,006
It's dangerous and unpredictable out there.
761
00:37:41,030 --> 00:37:43,146
So just stay here, and I'll be
back for you as soon as I can,
762
00:37:43,170 --> 00:37:44,376
- OK?
- OK.
763
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:45,976
- Bye.
- Stay here.
764
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:46,843
Stay here.
765
00:37:46,867 --> 00:37:48,108
Stay here. [SINGSONG VOICE] Stay here.
766
00:37:48,132 --> 00:37:49,836
Stay here, stay here, stay here.
767
00:37:49,860 --> 00:37:54,336
Who does the Toxic Avenger
think he is, my parents?
768
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:55,566
Fuck this place, man.
769
00:37:55,590 --> 00:37:56,732
I'm out of here!
770
00:37:56,756 --> 00:37:57,532
No!
771
00:37:57,556 --> 00:37:58,408
Tito, you can't go!
772
00:37:58,432 --> 00:37:59,357
Toxie said to stay here!
773
00:37:59,381 --> 00:38:00,596
- He's over there and you...
- No.
774
00:38:00,620 --> 00:38:01,451
You have to stay here.
775
00:38:01,475 --> 00:38:02,252
Tito, no!
776
00:38:02,276 --> 00:38:03,830
Because I don't want to be alone.
777
00:38:03,854 --> 00:38:04,930
Because Toxie's going over there,
778
00:38:04,954 --> 00:38:06,696
and you're going over
there, and I have to stay here.
779
00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:08,154
And Mummy and Daddy went away.
780
00:38:08,178 --> 00:38:11,130
And Auntie was really mean,
and Uncle Bobby was really mean.
781
00:38:11,154 --> 00:38:13,126
And I don't want to be alone!
782
00:38:13,150 --> 00:38:15,396
I don't want to be alone!
783
00:38:15,420 --> 00:38:17,376
Tito, come back!
784
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:18,861
Come back!
785
00:38:18,885 --> 00:38:21,336
I don't want to be alone!
786
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,011
I don't want to be alone!
787
00:38:23,035 --> 00:38:23,812
Tito!
788
00:38:23,836 --> 00:38:25,296
I don't want to be alone!
789
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:26,781
Come back!
790
00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:27,805
OK, OK.
791
00:38:30,765 --> 00:38:32,256
Hey.
792
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:36,228
You are giving me a
stomachache in my brain.
793
00:38:36,252 --> 00:38:37,786
If you don't want to be lonesome,
794
00:38:37,810 --> 00:38:39,456
you have to come with me.
795
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,546
Because I am in charge.
796
00:38:41,570 --> 00:38:42,742
I make the choices out here.
797
00:38:42,766 --> 00:38:44,406
OK.
798
00:38:44,430 --> 00:38:46,246
Let's go.
799
00:38:46,270 --> 00:38:48,028
I am in charge.
800
00:38:48,052 --> 00:38:48,828
Thanks.
801
00:38:48,852 --> 00:38:49,815
Thanks, Tito.
802
00:38:49,839 --> 00:38:51,786
You're my friend, huh?
803
00:38:51,810 --> 00:38:53,758
Want to hold my hand?
804
00:38:53,782 --> 00:38:58,195
No, I just... please hold my hand?
805
00:38:58,219 --> 00:39:00,926
You know, Toxie, I used to think
806
00:39:00,950 --> 00:39:04,956
you were one of those
namby-pamby pussyfooting
807
00:39:04,980 --> 00:39:05,887
motherfuckers.
808
00:39:05,911 --> 00:39:08,954
You know, one of those
bleeding heart heroes that
809
00:39:08,978 --> 00:39:11,306
are always making my job difficult.
810
00:39:11,330 --> 00:39:12,876
But you're actually a bad guy.
811
00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:15,076
You're all right!
812
00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:15,937
Thanks, Ted.
813
00:39:15,961 --> 00:39:18,656
Uh-oh.
814
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,316
You better split, Toxie.
815
00:39:20,340 --> 00:39:22,371
This press conference is about you.
816
00:39:22,395 --> 00:39:24,176
I'll hang around and see what the deal is,
817
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:25,576
and we'll meet at your house later.
818
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,186
Go on!
819
00:39:27,210 --> 00:39:28,067
My place?
820
00:39:28,091 --> 00:39:29,446
Go, go, go!
821
00:39:29,470 --> 00:39:32,226
Oh, lick my balls, you motherfucker.
822
00:39:32,250 --> 00:39:34,464
Jesus fucking H. Christ.
823
00:39:34,488 --> 00:39:35,377
Fuck.
824
00:39:35,401 --> 00:39:37,056
I never trusted Toxie!
825
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:38,037
Yeah!
826
00:39:38,061 --> 00:39:40,172
I knew he was bad from day one!
827
00:39:40,196 --> 00:39:41,426
Yeah.
828
00:39:41,450 --> 00:39:44,046
That's my husband you're talking about.
829
00:39:44,070 --> 00:39:46,626
He loves you people!
830
00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:47,477
Bullshit!
831
00:39:47,501 --> 00:39:49,086
We all loved Chief Newman!
832
00:39:49,110 --> 00:39:49,887
Face it.
833
00:39:49,911 --> 00:39:51,195
Toxie's gone mad!
834
00:39:54,458 --> 00:39:55,966
Wait, everybody!
835
00:39:55,990 --> 00:39:59,761
Toxie saved me and my
unborn child from the bomb.
836
00:39:59,785 --> 00:40:01,856
Toxie's a hero!
837
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:05,046
Heroes don't double-amputate police chiefs
838
00:40:05,070 --> 00:40:08,698
and haul 12-year-old
children into brick walls!
839
00:40:08,722 --> 00:40:11,476
Yeah!
840
00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:12,686
Please, please.
841
00:40:12,710 --> 00:40:14,406
Quiet down, folks.
842
00:40:14,430 --> 00:40:16,636
Let's get down to the Lord's work.
843
00:40:16,660 --> 00:40:19,026
We all saw the Toxic Avenger kill
844
00:40:19,050 --> 00:40:22,676
not only our beloved police
chief, but innocent bystanders
845
00:40:22,700 --> 00:40:23,696
as well.
846
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:27,406
So we've got to bring
him in for questioning!
847
00:40:27,430 --> 00:40:30,606
Not shot by some vigilante citizens' group.
848
00:40:30,630 --> 00:40:31,630
Oh, man.
849
00:40:34,008 --> 00:40:36,156
Fear not, citizens.
850
00:40:36,180 --> 00:40:39,536
I have assembled the only
team capable of bringing him
851
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,796
in... superheroes!
852
00:40:41,820 --> 00:40:44,756
United one and all to protect Tromaville.
853
00:40:44,780 --> 00:40:48,306
And I thank God for it.
854
00:40:48,330 --> 00:40:50,246
Now to introduce them.
855
00:40:50,270 --> 00:40:53,906
First, please put your
hands together, and give
856
00:40:53,930 --> 00:40:55,748
the clap to The Vibrator!
857
00:41:04,460 --> 00:41:05,405
[APPLAUSE]
858
00:41:05,429 --> 00:41:07,886
Our next superhuman hero protects
859
00:41:07,910 --> 00:41:09,346
creatures of the ocean.
860
00:41:09,370 --> 00:41:12,650
Please give a warm Tromaville
welcome to Dolphin Man!
861
00:41:24,870 --> 00:41:28,616
Unfortunately there's not much
water here, so Dolphin Man
862
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:29,736
is pretty useless.
863
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,356
But we have somebody stronger, more
864
00:41:32,380 --> 00:41:34,446
powerful, much better looking.
865
00:41:34,470 --> 00:41:38,036
Who we gonna bring out
next, a cow that walks upright?
866
00:41:38,060 --> 00:41:39,862
Please welcome Mad Cowboy!
867
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:47,582
Jesus Christ.
868
00:41:47,606 --> 00:41:51,666
Now, when rap superstar
Master G and mild-mannered sex
869
00:41:51,690 --> 00:41:55,606
offender John Bater went
into the same faulty elevator
870
00:41:55,630 --> 00:41:58,116
little did they realise they
would emerge as one man.
871
00:41:58,140 --> 00:42:01,796
A man who could fight
crime with sheer repulsion
872
00:42:01,820 --> 00:42:03,316
and bad rhyming.
873
00:42:03,340 --> 00:42:05,936
Please give a warm welcome
to the combined Master.
874
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:10,682
G and John Bater, Master-Bater!
875
00:42:10,706 --> 00:42:12,036
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
876
00:42:12,060 --> 00:42:13,276
I'm the Master-Bater!
877
00:42:13,300 --> 00:42:14,690
The freaky palm god!
878
00:42:19,682 --> 00:42:21,626
Here it comes, Tromaville!
879
00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:25,070
Here it comes!
880
00:42:25,094 --> 00:42:27,038
Yeah!
881
00:42:27,062 --> 00:42:29,006
Woo!
882
00:42:29,030 --> 00:42:31,958
Here it goes!
883
00:42:31,982 --> 00:42:35,118
[APPLAUSE]
884
00:42:35,918 --> 00:42:40,391
And now, last but not least,
the man to beat the man.
885
00:42:40,415 --> 00:42:41,212
The creme de la creme.
886
00:42:41,236 --> 00:42:44,536
The greatest superhero
of all, please welcome.
887
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,831
Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD!
888
00:42:47,855 --> 00:42:51,292
[APPLAUSE]
889
00:42:53,747 --> 00:42:55,220
[RECORD SCRATCH]
890
00:42:57,184 --> 00:42:58,926
Thank you, mayor.
891
00:42:58,950 --> 00:42:59,846
Thank you very much.
892
00:42:59,870 --> 00:43:00,727
Thank you.
893
00:43:00,751 --> 00:43:04,346
I just wanted to reassure
every citizen of Tromaville
894
00:43:04,370 --> 00:43:08,036
that Sergeant Kabukiman, NYPD, can
895
00:43:08,060 --> 00:43:13,106
single-handedly... that I can
end Toxie's reign of terror.
896
00:43:13,130 --> 00:43:14,806
What a dumb-ass!
897
00:43:14,830 --> 00:43:21,546
I could take him out with
my heat-seeking chopsticks.
898
00:43:21,570 --> 00:43:24,496
Or, or I could suffocate him with
899
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:29,884
my computerised 16-bite sushi.
900
00:43:29,908 --> 00:43:31,026
Or burn him.
901
00:43:31,050 --> 00:43:33,701
Burn him with my pyro projectile parasols.
902
00:43:33,725 --> 00:43:36,786
And I have many more to take him out.
903
00:43:36,810 --> 00:43:39,506
But I don't think that'll be necessary.
904
00:43:39,530 --> 00:43:42,296
Toxie will come in on his own.
905
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,996
He was probably just having a bad day.
906
00:43:45,020 --> 00:43:47,256
We all have bad days!
907
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,796
You know, maybe you
don't go around ripping off
908
00:43:49,820 --> 00:43:52,296
the arms of the police chief, and bash
909
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:54,390
priests and cops in the head.
910
00:43:56,900 --> 00:43:57,677
Thank you!
911
00:43:57,701 --> 00:43:59,776
He's probably bipolar!
912
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:00,981
Abraham Lincoln was bipolar.
913
00:44:01,005 --> 00:44:02,626
And what did he do?
914
00:44:02,650 --> 00:44:04,366
He freed the slaves!
915
00:44:04,390 --> 00:44:08,496
So you see, if we just sit back, relax,
916
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:13,566
everything will come to a
peaceful Kabuki conclusion.
917
00:44:13,590 --> 00:44:15,772
Thank you, Kabukiman.
918
00:44:15,796 --> 00:44:19,496
Well, as you can see, Tromaville
is in very capable hands.
919
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:20,881
This concludes our press conference.
920
00:44:20,905 --> 00:44:25,052
Now the moment you've all
been waiting for... the puppet show!
921
00:44:25,076 --> 00:44:27,826
Fucking metal ball, fucking
grass, fucking street, fucking
922
00:44:27,850 --> 00:44:29,218
- fence, fucking fat girl.
- Toxie!
923
00:44:29,242 --> 00:44:30,361
Hey! Hey, Toxie!
924
00:44:30,385 --> 00:44:32,196
I'm your biggest fan!
925
00:44:32,220 --> 00:44:33,266
That's good.
926
00:44:33,290 --> 00:44:35,916
Even a simple crack whore like me working
927
00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:38,036
her way through art school can appreciate
928
00:44:38,060 --> 00:44:40,476
the finer aspects of you.
929
00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:43,476
Where is my house?
930
00:44:43,500 --> 00:44:46,046
Maybe we should follow the signs.
931
00:44:46,070 --> 00:44:48,513
Hmm, Toxie's shack.
932
00:44:48,537 --> 00:44:49,537
Problem solved.
933
00:45:03,447 --> 00:45:05,165
The Plastique Palace?
934
00:45:10,340 --> 00:45:11,340
That's me!
935
00:45:17,544 --> 00:45:21,023
[SCREAMING]
936
00:45:23,508 --> 00:45:24,999
That's just wrong!
937
00:45:29,969 --> 00:45:31,436
Yeehaw!
938
00:45:31,460 --> 00:45:33,921
Woo!
939
00:45:33,945 --> 00:45:34,916
Oh, shoot!
940
00:45:34,940 --> 00:45:36,903
There goes one of his arms!
941
00:45:36,927 --> 00:45:38,418
Oh, poor baby.
942
00:45:43,388 --> 00:45:44,358
Oh, yeah.
943
00:45:44,382 --> 00:45:45,352
Look at that.
944
00:45:45,376 --> 00:45:46,347
Oh, baby.
945
00:45:46,371 --> 00:45:49,825
He's got nothing but a
little bit of fighter left in him!
946
00:45:49,849 --> 00:45:51,813
He's an itty bitty boy.
947
00:45:51,837 --> 00:45:53,801
You see that thing running
after us with the mop?
948
00:45:53,825 --> 00:45:55,789
I don't know, man, but it sure is ugly!
949
00:45:55,813 --> 00:45:56,784
Come on, step on it!
950
00:45:56,808 --> 00:45:58,274
Let's go!
951
00:45:58,298 --> 00:45:59,765
He's getting mighty close.
952
00:45:59,789 --> 00:46:02,747
Oh, no.
953
00:46:02,771 --> 00:46:05,729
He's on top of the god damn car!
954
00:46:05,753 --> 00:46:07,220
Stop, you!
955
00:46:07,244 --> 00:46:08,735
Stop the car!
956
00:46:13,705 --> 00:46:16,166
What the good god damn was that?
957
00:46:16,190 --> 00:46:17,160
What are we gonna do?
958
00:46:17,184 --> 00:46:18,155
What are we gonna go?
959
00:46:18,179 --> 00:46:20,142
Will you say something?
960
00:46:20,166 --> 00:46:21,137
I'm afraid!
961
00:46:21,161 --> 00:46:24,118
I'm afraid!
962
00:46:24,142 --> 00:46:27,116
Please, please, I didn't do nothing!
963
00:46:27,140 --> 00:46:28,626
I was only kidding!
964
00:46:28,650 --> 00:46:29,600
Please!
965
00:46:29,624 --> 00:46:31,186
I love black people!
966
00:46:31,210 --> 00:46:32,171
I love them!
967
00:46:32,195 --> 00:46:33,636
I didn't mean anything by it!
968
00:46:33,660 --> 00:46:35,190
I didn't really mean it!
969
00:46:44,990 --> 00:46:46,436
Hey, ugly.
970
00:46:46,460 --> 00:46:47,327
Ugly.
971
00:46:47,351 --> 00:46:48,396
Come here.
972
00:46:48,420 --> 00:46:49,420
Yeah.
973
00:46:54,610 --> 00:46:56,892
Gee, I'm really sorry you lost your body.
974
00:46:56,916 --> 00:46:58,786
It's OK, ugly hero.
975
00:46:58,810 --> 00:47:01,306
It hurts, but I been through worse.
976
00:47:01,330 --> 00:47:02,896
You know, a black man in America gets used
977
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,386
to having nobody behind him.
978
00:47:05,410 --> 00:47:08,268
I guess I just got no
body at all! [CHUCKLES]
979
00:47:08,292 --> 00:47:12,086
Hey, what we gonna do with
that crazy-ass white boy up there?
980
00:47:12,110 --> 00:47:16,716
Well, I know what we can
do with that motherfucker.
981
00:47:16,740 --> 00:47:17,666
White power!
982
00:47:17,690 --> 00:47:18,616
White power!
983
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:19,640
White power!
984
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,280
Hey, boys, I brought you a present.
985
00:47:28,190 --> 00:47:29,166
White power!
986
00:47:29,190 --> 00:47:30,167
Hey, it's me!
987
00:47:30,191 --> 00:47:31,666
Don't you recognise me?
988
00:47:31,690 --> 00:47:32,666
What you doing?
989
00:47:32,690 --> 00:47:33,667
I ain't no nigger!
990
00:47:33,691 --> 00:47:35,190
Oh, help me, please.
991
00:47:38,690 --> 00:47:40,116
That was fun.
992
00:47:40,140 --> 00:47:42,236
Hey, thanks again for
saving my life, super guy.
993
00:47:42,260 --> 00:47:44,106
Hey, my name's Pompey.
994
00:47:44,130 --> 00:47:45,136
Pleased to meet you, Pompey.
995
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:46,934
I'm Toxie.
996
00:47:46,958 --> 00:47:47,958
Sorry.
997
00:47:52,140 --> 00:47:53,786
Well, here we are, Pompey.
998
00:47:53,810 --> 00:47:54,896
The Plastique Palace.
999
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:55,802
Oh yeah, dude?
1000
00:47:55,826 --> 00:47:57,526
You ain't got to give me the play-by-play.
1001
00:47:57,550 --> 00:47:59,176
Just get me my body back.
1002
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:00,200
Will do.
1003
00:48:23,740 --> 00:48:25,360
Mr. Offender.
1004
00:48:25,384 --> 00:48:26,247
Huh?
1005
00:48:26,271 --> 00:48:28,746
Oh, I thought you were supposed
to be inspecting the hot dog
1006
00:48:28,770 --> 00:48:31,100
parts factory today.
1007
00:48:31,124 --> 00:48:33,476
It's not the penile implant, is it?
1008
00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:34,277
No!
1009
00:48:34,301 --> 00:48:37,126
No, no, no, no, no, no.
1010
00:48:37,150 --> 00:48:40,516
I mean, uh, um, no, no.
1011
00:48:40,540 --> 00:48:43,946
Everything's fine with
the, uh, penile implant.
1012
00:48:43,970 --> 00:48:48,256
But, uh, could you fix my friend here?
1013
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:49,057
Well, hey!
1014
00:48:49,081 --> 00:48:50,960
How you doing there?
1015
00:48:50,984 --> 00:48:51,806
Pretty ugly.
1016
00:48:51,830 --> 00:48:52,706
Lookie here, you bitch.
1017
00:48:52,730 --> 00:48:53,507
Who you calling ugly?
1018
00:48:53,531 --> 00:48:55,446
If you get my fucking head out of this bag,
1019
00:48:55,470 --> 00:48:57,276
then you just give me
my body back, all right?
1020
00:48:57,300 --> 00:48:59,236
I think we can take care of it.
1021
00:48:59,260 --> 00:49:00,037
Thanks.
1022
00:49:00,061 --> 00:49:01,436
[POMPEY] Ain't that what you do here?
1023
00:49:01,460 --> 00:49:02,317
Give me a new body.
1024
00:49:02,341 --> 00:49:03,386
Maybe build me one.
1025
00:49:03,410 --> 00:49:05,426
See if you can make me a
bionic body or something like that.
1026
00:49:05,450 --> 00:49:07,426
Get me a new body, all right?
1027
00:49:07,450 --> 00:49:08,556
Hot dog parts.
1028
00:49:08,580 --> 00:49:10,016
Yes, ma'am.
1029
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:11,826
[POMPEY] You gonna
make a brother into hot dogs?
1030
00:49:11,850 --> 00:49:13,316
You lucky I ain't got my feet.
1031
00:49:13,340 --> 00:49:14,865
I'd kick your ass!
1032
00:49:14,889 --> 00:49:16,781
I'm really, really hungry.
1033
00:49:16,805 --> 00:49:17,739
OK, OK!
1034
00:49:17,763 --> 00:49:18,698
God!
1035
00:49:18,722 --> 00:49:21,041
You are so annoying.
1036
00:49:21,065 --> 00:49:24,554
No wonder everybody hates retarded people.
1037
00:49:24,578 --> 00:49:27,554
I'm really hungry. [SINGSONG
VOICE] Hungry, hungry, hungry!
1038
00:49:31,026 --> 00:49:34,474
Hey, let's go to the office and fuck!
1039
00:49:34,498 --> 00:49:35,467
Come on.
1040
00:49:35,491 --> 00:49:37,642
Let's get you some hot dogs.
1041
00:49:37,666 --> 00:49:38,442
Hot dogs?
1042
00:49:38,466 --> 00:49:39,243
I love hot dogs!
1043
00:49:39,267 --> 00:49:41,456
We're gonna have hot dogs!
1044
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:42,397
[GASPS]
1045
00:49:42,421 --> 00:49:43,426
Help me!
1046
00:49:43,450 --> 00:49:44,227
Help me!
1047
00:49:44,251 --> 00:49:45,386
So that's how they make hot dogs?
1048
00:49:45,410 --> 00:49:46,187
Gross!
1049
00:49:46,211 --> 00:49:48,636
I'm never eating hot dogs again.
1050
00:49:48,660 --> 00:49:50,651
Get me out of this bucket of body parts
1051
00:49:50,675 --> 00:49:52,426
and help me find my real body!
1052
00:49:52,450 --> 00:49:53,227
Help me!
1053
00:49:53,251 --> 00:49:56,670
Oh, my God!
1054
00:49:56,694 --> 00:50:00,138
[SCREAMING]
1055
00:50:06,534 --> 00:50:09,462
Whoa.
1056
00:50:09,486 --> 00:50:10,316
Hey, buddy.
1057
00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:11,117
Huh?
1058
00:50:11,141 --> 00:50:13,526
Could you spare some change
for an out-of-work particle
1059
00:50:13,550 --> 00:50:14,588
physicist?
1060
00:50:14,612 --> 00:50:15,846
Lardass?
1061
00:50:15,870 --> 00:50:16,647
Lardass!
1062
00:50:16,671 --> 00:50:18,567
Fuck you, Mr. Lumpy Head!
1063
00:50:18,591 --> 00:50:19,896
I can't believe you're alive!
1064
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:22,146
I thought you were dead!
1065
00:50:22,170 --> 00:50:24,716
First of all, my name's not Lardass.
1066
00:50:24,740 --> 00:50:25,866
It's Chester.
1067
00:50:25,890 --> 00:50:27,416
I resent the implication.
1068
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:29,796
Secondly, I wish I was dead.
1069
00:50:29,820 --> 00:50:30,596
Huh?
1070
00:50:30,620 --> 00:50:31,397
I was a scientist.
1071
00:50:31,421 --> 00:50:32,880
One of the greatest in the world!
1072
00:50:32,904 --> 00:50:34,246
And now I'm reduced to being the greatest
1073
00:50:34,270 --> 00:50:36,046
cocksucker in the world.
1074
00:50:36,070 --> 00:50:36,847
Huh?
1075
00:50:36,871 --> 00:50:40,350
Without my Claire, life is meaningless.
1076
00:50:40,374 --> 00:50:42,336
Hey, that's my wife!
1077
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,576
Is that what you call her?
1078
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:46,676
So you're really not my Lardass?
1079
00:50:46,700 --> 00:50:47,657
I'm not Lardass!
1080
00:50:47,681 --> 00:50:49,011
I'm Chester.
1081
00:50:49,035 --> 00:50:52,111
I'm just a common street whore
who happens to know the key
1082
00:50:52,135 --> 00:50:53,536
to interdimensional travel.
1083
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:55,016
Interdimensional travel?
1084
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,466
The ability to travel between dimensions.
1085
00:50:57,490 --> 00:51:01,276
And then my Claire was kidnapped
by your goons, evil crime lord.
1086
00:51:01,300 --> 00:51:03,146
Then I just gave up
the project, and gave up
1087
00:51:03,170 --> 00:51:04,776
my life as I knew it.
1088
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:05,577
But what do you care?
1089
00:51:05,601 --> 00:51:07,996
To you, I'm just another
piece of human shit.
1090
00:51:08,020 --> 00:51:11,036
Another life shattered by your evil reign.
1091
00:51:11,060 --> 00:51:12,246
Another story to tell your cronies
1092
00:51:12,270 --> 00:51:14,056
while sitting up in your
mansion up there four
1093
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:15,080
blocks up on the right.
1094
00:51:18,450 --> 00:51:19,227
What's the matter?
1095
00:51:19,251 --> 00:51:22,266
My lips aren't sweet enough
for your toxic testicle nectar?
1096
00:51:22,290 --> 00:51:23,606
[TOXIE] Don't worry, Chester.
1097
00:51:23,630 --> 00:51:24,487
I'll be back.
1098
00:51:24,511 --> 00:51:27,396
Well, when you come back,
you better bring cash or pastries,
1099
00:51:27,420 --> 00:51:29,356
or you're not going
to get to touch this ass.
1100
00:51:29,380 --> 00:51:30,337
[FART]
1101
00:51:30,361 --> 00:51:32,608
Melvin, is that you?
1102
00:51:32,632 --> 00:51:34,606
I heard what happened at school today.
1103
00:51:34,630 --> 00:51:36,276
You can hear?
1104
00:51:36,300 --> 00:51:38,224
Of course I can hear!
1105
00:51:38,248 --> 00:51:40,714
I was so worried about you!
1106
00:51:40,738 --> 00:51:44,708
After all, our soon-to-be
baby needs a daddy!
1107
00:51:44,732 --> 00:51:47,846
And look at the little baby outfit I made.
1108
00:51:47,870 --> 00:51:50,696
There's even a little mop.
1109
00:51:50,720 --> 00:51:52,096
Wait.
1110
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:53,370
You're pregnant?
1111
00:51:53,394 --> 00:51:55,890
Well, yeah I'm pregnant.
1112
00:51:55,914 --> 00:51:59,786
Melvin, your hands!
1113
00:51:59,810 --> 00:52:03,206
They're so soft.
1114
00:52:03,230 --> 00:52:04,288
Oh!
1115
00:52:04,312 --> 00:52:06,736
Your manly chest!
1116
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,323
It's not quite so manly any more.
1117
00:52:09,347 --> 00:52:12,043
[NOXIE] Uh, I've been
eating a lot of melons lately.
1118
00:52:12,067 --> 00:52:15,522
[GASP] Oh, Melvin!
1119
00:52:15,546 --> 00:52:17,510
Somehow your weiner has miraculously
1120
00:52:17,534 --> 00:52:19,498
turned into a vagina!
1121
00:52:19,522 --> 00:52:21,486
What's going on around here?
1122
00:52:21,510 --> 00:52:22,387
Just relax.
1123
00:52:22,411 --> 00:52:23,436
Ow!
1124
00:52:23,460 --> 00:52:25,226
It's good for our relationship.
1125
00:52:25,250 --> 00:52:30,189
It's, uh, it's good for the baby.
1126
00:52:30,213 --> 00:52:32,606
Yeah, OK.
1127
00:52:32,630 --> 00:52:34,156
Oh.
1128
00:52:34,180 --> 00:52:36,776
Yeah, good for the baby, baby.
1129
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:37,800
Oh.
1130
00:53:00,994 --> 00:53:03,796
Don't know what Noxie
sees in this bitch any ways.
1131
00:53:03,820 --> 00:53:06,346
My ass is so much sweeter than hers.
1132
00:53:06,370 --> 00:53:07,307
And where is he?
1133
00:53:07,331 --> 00:53:10,016
It's for my 5 o'clock reaming, damn it.
1134
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:10,816
Noxie!
1135
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:11,840
Hey, baby!
1136
00:53:16,590 --> 00:53:17,367
Ooh!
1137
00:53:17,391 --> 00:53:19,086
Get off me, you...
1138
00:53:19,110 --> 00:53:20,832
Cock-chugging masochist?
1139
00:53:20,856 --> 00:53:21,632
My.
1140
00:53:21,656 --> 00:53:22,562
Look, you pervert.
1141
00:53:22,586 --> 00:53:24,750
Just get off.
1142
00:53:24,774 --> 00:53:25,737
Ooh, OK.
1143
00:53:25,761 --> 00:53:26,816
It's time for the rough stuff.
1144
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:28,307
I'll be right over here.
1145
00:53:31,419 --> 00:53:32,419
Noxie?
1146
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:43,496
Excuse me, madam.
1147
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:44,296
Psst.
1148
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:45,237
Psst, Claire.
1149
00:53:45,261 --> 00:53:46,646
Wake up.
1150
00:53:46,670 --> 00:53:47,587
Wake up, Claire.
1151
00:53:47,611 --> 00:53:49,178
Rise and shine.
1152
00:53:49,202 --> 00:53:50,396
Come on.
1153
00:53:50,420 --> 00:53:51,197
Don't worry.
1154
00:53:51,221 --> 00:53:53,906
We'll get you out of here in a jiffy.
1155
00:53:53,930 --> 00:53:54,930
Whoa!
1156
00:53:58,940 --> 00:54:00,626
Wait a second.
1157
00:54:00,650 --> 00:54:01,477
You can see?
1158
00:54:01,501 --> 00:54:03,676
[UNINTELLIGIBLE SPEECH]
1159
00:54:03,700 --> 00:54:06,386
Of course I can see, stupid.
1160
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:07,353
You're deaf?
1161
00:54:07,377 --> 00:54:09,646
[UNINTELLIGIBLE SPEECH]
1162
00:54:09,670 --> 00:54:11,836
What is this, some kind of a joke?
1163
00:54:11,860 --> 00:54:12,637
Blast!
1164
00:54:12,661 --> 00:54:14,806
I wish I took those sign
language classes at Tromaville.
1165
00:54:14,830 --> 00:54:17,316
Community College.
1166
00:54:17,340 --> 00:54:19,126
Well, that's OK.
1167
00:54:19,150 --> 00:54:23,296
I can read lips, your dirty
dumb dumb dumb-ass!
1168
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:24,167
What's the matter?
1169
00:54:24,191 --> 00:54:28,391
Why don't you rape me,
rape me, and beat me,
1170
00:54:28,415 --> 00:54:33,576
beat me, like you usually
do, you fucking pervert?
1171
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:38,231
Fill my chocolate starfish with
your chunky, chunky dick snot.
1172
00:54:38,255 --> 00:54:39,103
Come on.
1173
00:54:39,127 --> 00:54:40,530
Come and do it now!
1174
00:54:40,554 --> 00:54:41,487
Come and get it!
1175
00:54:41,511 --> 00:54:42,616
Wait a minute. No, no.
1176
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:43,896
Hold it. No, you don't understand.
1177
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:44,920
Do it!
1178
00:54:47,686 --> 00:54:48,686
Oh, yeah.
1179
00:54:55,156 --> 00:54:57,320
Ooh.
1180
00:54:57,344 --> 00:54:58,344
Oh, yeah.
1181
00:55:04,618 --> 00:55:05,618
Yeah, that's hot.
1182
00:55:08,602 --> 00:55:10,766
[MOANING]
1183
00:55:10,790 --> 00:55:11,790
Firey.
1184
00:55:15,574 --> 00:55:18,538
Yeah.
1185
00:55:18,562 --> 00:55:19,562
That's explosive.
1186
00:55:25,550 --> 00:55:29,556
Well, ladies, now that
you're all warmed up,
1187
00:55:29,580 --> 00:55:32,477
are your chocolate starfish
ready for my chunky dick snot?
1188
00:55:35,459 --> 00:55:37,423
Oh my god!
1189
00:55:37,447 --> 00:55:38,914
Ugh!
1190
00:55:38,938 --> 00:55:41,896
Get that thing away from me!
1191
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:43,411
[SCREAMING]
1192
00:55:44,405 --> 00:55:46,369
Where you going?
1193
00:55:46,393 --> 00:55:47,860
Help!
1194
00:55:47,884 --> 00:55:49,375
[SCREAMING]
1195
00:55:52,854 --> 00:55:54,818
Heh.
1196
00:55:54,842 --> 00:55:57,316
Well, where did the lovely lady go?
1197
00:55:57,340 --> 00:55:59,939
You're about to find out the
answer to all your questions.
1198
00:56:03,450 --> 00:56:04,450
Whoa.
1199
00:56:06,803 --> 00:56:07,579
No, no.
1200
00:56:07,603 --> 00:56:08,380
No, I can't.
1201
00:56:08,404 --> 00:56:09,974
I'm married.
1202
00:56:09,998 --> 00:56:11,006
Will you get off?
1203
00:56:11,030 --> 00:56:12,370
I'm trying, dammit!
1204
00:56:16,810 --> 00:56:17,587
Claire.
1205
00:56:17,611 --> 00:56:18,944
Claire. Claire.
1206
00:56:18,968 --> 00:56:19,968
Claire, Claire.
1207
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:25,246
Look, I know I may look
like that Noxie character,
1208
00:56:25,270 --> 00:56:26,102
but I'm not him.
1209
00:56:26,126 --> 00:56:27,426
I'm... I'm totally different.
1210
00:56:27,450 --> 00:56:29,606
Well, what's the matter?
1211
00:56:29,630 --> 00:56:31,676
Did I do something wrong?
1212
00:56:31,700 --> 00:56:33,531
Have I been a bad girl?
1213
00:56:33,555 --> 00:56:36,256
I'd do anything you want.
1214
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:40,486
Just don't hurt me no more.
1215
00:56:40,510 --> 00:56:43,366
Chester sent me.
1216
00:56:43,390 --> 00:56:44,166
Chester?
1217
00:56:44,190 --> 00:56:45,190
Mm-hm.
1218
00:56:50,352 --> 00:56:52,224
I'm your daddy now.
1219
00:56:52,248 --> 00:56:54,100
[SCREAMING]
1220
00:56:56,590 --> 00:57:00,901
I would love to have your abortion.
1221
00:57:00,925 --> 00:57:01,851
Yeah.
1222
00:57:01,875 --> 00:57:02,766
[KNOCKING]
1223
00:57:02,790 --> 00:57:03,567
Huh?
1224
00:57:03,591 --> 00:57:05,766
This better not be
another Jehova's Witness.
1225
00:57:05,790 --> 00:57:06,916
Fuck off! Oh.
1226
00:57:06,940 --> 00:57:08,166
It's you.
1227
00:57:08,190 --> 00:57:12,396
Hey, Toxie, I've got a
little proposition for you.
1228
00:57:12,420 --> 00:57:13,860
What say we take a little ride?
1229
00:57:17,150 --> 00:57:19,316
OK.
1230
00:57:19,340 --> 00:57:20,176
Uh, wait.
1231
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:21,240
Can we stop for ice cream?
1232
00:57:23,610 --> 00:57:24,387
Hey!
1233
00:57:24,411 --> 00:57:27,721
Hold it right there, Noxie.
1234
00:57:27,745 --> 00:57:29,456
What's wrong with you, man?
1235
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:31,486
You're acting like a
totally different person.
1236
00:57:31,510 --> 00:57:32,611
And now what?
1237
00:57:32,635 --> 00:57:36,046
You're taking the sex slave
out for a romantic dinner?
1238
00:57:36,070 --> 00:57:38,526
I don't know what's gotten
into you, but it's not right.
1239
00:57:38,550 --> 00:57:40,226
Now, why don't you take
that slut back to the pit
1240
00:57:40,250 --> 00:57:41,666
where she belongs, and come with me?
1241
00:57:41,690 --> 00:57:44,767
We've got something to discuss.
1242
00:57:44,791 --> 00:57:46,675
What the fuck?
1243
00:57:46,699 --> 00:57:47,637
Ow!
1244
00:57:47,661 --> 00:57:48,726
You read sign language, right?
1245
00:57:48,750 --> 00:57:50,103
Well, listen to this.
1246
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:54,417
Run, Claire.
1247
00:57:54,441 --> 00:57:56,881
Run!
1248
00:57:56,905 --> 00:57:57,682
I knew it.
1249
00:57:57,706 --> 00:57:59,426
I knew something was wrong.
1250
00:57:59,450 --> 00:58:02,146
You're not the real
Noxie after all, are you?
1251
00:58:02,170 --> 00:58:05,976
That may be, but I know Sgt.
Kabukiman, NYPD, and you, sir,
1252
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,970
are no Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD.
1253
00:58:15,770 --> 00:58:18,776
Lord, Jesus, Mother Mary.
1254
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:22,416
You up there, it's me,
Mayor Goldberg of Tromaville.
1255
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,696
I really, really need you, Lord.
1256
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,316
I need a sign, just any sign, just
1257
00:58:27,340 --> 00:58:31,266
to show me that you're
here for... for the people
1258
00:58:31,290 --> 00:58:32,496
of Tromaville.
1259
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:35,326
Please, lord, just... just... any sign.
1260
00:58:35,350 --> 00:58:36,888
Just a sign.
1261
00:58:36,912 --> 00:58:37,912
Please, any sign.
1262
00:58:43,474 --> 00:58:44,447
Oh, well.
1263
00:58:44,471 --> 00:58:48,121
Thanks for taking the time to listen, and I
1264
00:58:48,145 --> 00:58:49,796
I feel better for asking.
1265
00:58:49,820 --> 00:58:50,820
Amen.
1266
00:58:54,250 --> 00:58:55,750
[SCREAMING]
1267
00:59:05,250 --> 00:59:08,446
Coming up at 11:00, Mayor
Goldberg out, Toxie in.
1268
00:59:08,470 --> 00:59:11,716
And our very own Josh Levitsky
makes a run for the border.
1269
00:59:11,740 --> 00:59:14,016
In a special piece about lesbians, titled...
1270
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,771
Strapping It On and
Getting Up Over in There.
1271
00:59:16,795 --> 00:59:17,846
Looting around.
1272
00:59:17,870 --> 00:59:19,246
I know where I'm going to be at 11:00.
1273
00:59:19,270 --> 00:59:20,350
Hey, that's appointment TV.
1274
00:59:57,540 --> 01:00:00,510
Ah!
1275
01:00:00,534 --> 01:00:03,528
[MOOING]
1276
01:00:10,514 --> 01:00:12,985
Ah.
1277
01:00:13,009 --> 01:00:15,504
[MOOING]
1278
01:00:24,185 --> 01:00:25,185
Oh!
1279
01:00:37,959 --> 01:00:39,432
Ha!
1280
01:00:39,456 --> 01:00:41,452
[SHOUTING]
1281
01:01:13,087 --> 01:01:13,864
Help!
1282
01:01:13,888 --> 01:01:15,360
Help me!
1283
01:01:15,384 --> 01:01:16,358
Help me!
1284
01:01:16,382 --> 01:01:17,356
Oh, help me!
1285
01:01:17,380 --> 01:01:18,380
Help me!
1286
01:01:49,305 --> 01:01:51,996
Kabukiman!
1287
01:01:52,020 --> 01:01:53,596
- Psst!
- What?
1288
01:01:53,620 --> 01:01:54,407
Who is that?
1289
01:01:54,431 --> 01:01:55,906
Weren't you dead, mother fucker?
1290
01:01:55,930 --> 01:01:57,332
- Can you hear me?
- Oh.
1291
01:01:57,356 --> 01:01:58,209
Mr. Head.
1292
01:01:58,233 --> 01:02:00,196
Mr. Head, I did not see you back there.
1293
01:02:00,220 --> 01:02:01,946
Yo, my name ain't Mr. Head, man.
1294
01:02:01,970 --> 01:02:03,078
- It's Pompey.
- Oh.
1295
01:02:03,102 --> 01:02:03,878
Pompey.
1296
01:02:03,902 --> 01:02:04,845
It's very nice to meet you.
1297
01:02:04,869 --> 01:02:06,444
My name is Tito. I.
1298
01:02:06,468 --> 01:02:07,466
Yeah, how you doing, Tito?
1299
01:02:07,490 --> 01:02:08,657
Pompey, let's make a deal.
1300
01:02:08,681 --> 01:02:09,458
Uh-huh?
1301
01:02:09,482 --> 01:02:12,486
If you chew through my ropes, I won't let
1302
01:02:12,510 --> 01:02:13,821
you become meat product, OK?
1303
01:02:13,845 --> 01:02:15,456
Well shit, that sounds
like a plan to me, Tito.
1304
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:16,566
Come here. Bring your ropes here.
1305
01:02:16,590 --> 01:02:17,590
Come on.
1306
01:02:23,926 --> 01:02:24,703
Chew, Pompey.
1307
01:02:24,727 --> 01:02:27,197
Chew like the wind!
1308
01:02:27,221 --> 01:02:29,692
[SHOUTING]
1309
01:02:29,716 --> 01:02:30,691
Chew, Pompey.
1310
01:02:30,715 --> 01:02:34,183
But hurry, or else you'll
become Pompey head cheese.
1311
01:02:34,207 --> 01:02:36,179
Not head cheese!
1312
01:02:36,203 --> 01:02:37,178
No!
1313
01:02:37,202 --> 01:02:39,173
Almost!
1314
01:02:39,197 --> 01:02:41,169
All right, got it.
1315
01:02:41,193 --> 01:02:43,165
All right, get us out of here.
1316
01:02:43,189 --> 01:02:44,662
Get me.
1317
01:02:44,686 --> 01:02:46,262
- Help me.
- Fuck this, man.
1318
01:02:46,286 --> 01:02:47,157
I'm out.
1319
01:02:47,181 --> 01:02:48,155
Tito!
1320
01:02:48,179 --> 01:02:49,154
Tito, help me!
1321
01:02:49,178 --> 01:02:50,753
- Help!
- OK.
1322
01:02:50,777 --> 01:02:51,777
I'm coming.
1323
01:02:58,658 --> 01:02:59,633
[MOOING]
1324
01:02:59,657 --> 01:03:02,127
OK.
1325
01:03:02,151 --> 01:03:03,125
Ready?
1326
01:03:03,149 --> 01:03:04,124
Here we go.
1327
01:03:04,148 --> 01:03:06,618
Here we go.
1328
01:03:06,642 --> 01:03:07,642
[MOOING]
1329
01:03:18,119 --> 01:03:19,592
Wait, Tito!
1330
01:03:19,616 --> 01:03:23,085
Toxie needs help!
1331
01:03:23,109 --> 01:03:24,606
[MOOING]
1332
01:03:36,582 --> 01:03:38,055
No!
1333
01:03:38,079 --> 01:03:40,550
No, no, no!
1334
01:03:40,574 --> 01:03:42,047
Pompey, what do I do?
1335
01:03:42,071 --> 01:03:43,273
You big retarded pussy.
1336
01:03:43,297 --> 01:03:44,406
You better get your ass over there
1337
01:03:44,430 --> 01:03:45,766
and help that retarded girl.
1338
01:03:45,790 --> 01:03:46,762
You go, girl.
1339
01:03:46,786 --> 01:03:47,758
You hit him again!
1340
01:03:47,782 --> 01:03:48,559
Hit him again!
1341
01:03:48,583 --> 01:03:49,750
Hit him with the frying pan!
1342
01:03:49,774 --> 01:03:50,746
Get him, retarded girl.
1343
01:03:50,770 --> 01:03:51,770
Work it out!
1344
01:03:54,754 --> 01:03:56,746
[MOOING]
1345
01:04:16,666 --> 01:04:18,136
Come on, we've gotta get out of here.
1346
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:19,160
Come on!
1347
01:04:21,570 --> 01:04:22,570
Come on!
1348
01:04:31,881 --> 01:04:32,881
[INAUDIBLE].
1349
01:04:42,683 --> 01:04:43,950
Oh, no! No!
1350
01:04:43,974 --> 01:04:44,933
What happened?
1351
01:04:44,957 --> 01:04:47,456
Look, Kabukiman's
coming, and we've got to go.
1352
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:48,944
I'm gonna kill that toxic dickhead.
1353
01:04:48,968 --> 01:04:50,128
Come on, let's go! Let's go!
1354
01:04:50,152 --> 01:04:51,120
Jump, you chickens! Come on!
1355
01:04:51,144 --> 01:04:51,921
Let's go!
1356
01:04:51,945 --> 01:04:53,408
I don't want to go. I don't want to go.
1357
01:04:53,432 --> 01:04:54,209
Go!
1358
01:04:54,233 --> 01:04:55,584
Hold on, Pompey!
1359
01:04:55,608 --> 01:04:56,608
Whee!
1360
01:04:59,576 --> 01:05:00,576
Damn!
1361
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:09,497
Damn.
1362
01:05:09,521 --> 01:05:13,486
They're very slowly getting away.
1363
01:05:13,510 --> 01:05:14,287
Oh, well.
1364
01:05:14,311 --> 01:05:15,446
Fuck 'em.
1365
01:05:15,470 --> 01:05:17,330
[NEWSCASTER] Tromaville News on the March!
1366
01:05:21,090 --> 01:05:25,016
Mayor Goldberg, Tromaville's
liberal Kublai Khan,
1367
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:27,616
dead at 52.
1368
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,636
What is to become of Tromadu?
1369
01:05:30,660 --> 01:05:31,656
Tromadu.
1370
01:05:31,680 --> 01:05:33,846
What will happen to the
stately pleasure dome he built
1371
01:05:33,870 --> 01:05:36,712
with the taxpayers' money?
1372
01:05:36,736 --> 01:05:39,530
Tromadu, where man and beast play.
1373
01:05:42,585 --> 01:05:45,090
And women play with each other.
1374
01:05:54,240 --> 01:06:01,116
Tromadu, haven to the
artsy, and to the fartsy.
1375
01:06:01,140 --> 01:06:03,550
And whoc an forget
the interpretive dancers?
1376
01:06:06,110 --> 01:06:07,656
People are letting it all hang out
1377
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:10,180
at one of the famous
Tromadu grotto parties.
1378
01:06:16,420 --> 01:06:17,197
Look here.
1379
01:06:17,221 --> 01:06:20,476
It's the Toxic Avenger,
Tromaville's newest mayor.
1380
01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:23,246
Mr. Toxie, how did you
find cultural conditions
1381
01:06:23,270 --> 01:06:24,892
in Tromaville?
1382
01:06:24,916 --> 01:06:26,326
With great difficulty.
1383
01:06:26,350 --> 01:06:28,238
[LAUGHTER]
1384
01:06:31,070 --> 01:06:32,296
[NEWSCASTER] Hey, Toxie, what do you
1385
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:35,650
make of this easy on the eyes
Jackson Pollock-esque here?
1386
01:06:38,770 --> 01:06:39,770
Oh!
1387
01:06:45,860 --> 01:06:49,356
Oh, well, I guess everyone's a critic.
1388
01:06:49,380 --> 01:06:51,666
Look at these young lovers enjoying the
1389
01:06:51,690 --> 01:06:55,516
bounteous pleasures at Tromadu.
1390
01:06:55,540 --> 01:06:57,326
I could die in these breasts.
1391
01:06:57,350 --> 01:06:58,436
[NEWSCASTER] Bullseye!
1392
01:06:58,460 --> 01:06:59,955
Cupid strikes again.
1393
01:07:04,110 --> 01:07:05,685
And so does Toxie.
1394
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:15,526
That's what I call a facelift.
1395
01:07:15,550 --> 01:07:17,576
Looking goods, Toxie.
1396
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:21,406
At Tromadu, Toxie's
always ahead in the polls.
1397
01:07:21,430 --> 01:07:23,254
Or a pole in the head.
1398
01:07:23,278 --> 01:07:24,688
Whoops-a-daisy.
1399
01:07:24,712 --> 01:07:25,507
Uh-oh.
1400
01:07:25,531 --> 01:07:27,120
The party's over, says Toxie.
1401
01:07:30,340 --> 01:07:31,336
Wow.
1402
01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:34,696
It looks like Toxie's really tuckered out.
1403
01:07:34,720 --> 01:07:36,946
Uh, what's that on your face, Toxie?
1404
01:07:36,970 --> 01:07:38,190
Nose blood.
1405
01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:46,016
[DJ] Toxie promises his first action
1406
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:48,466
as mayor will be to kill all
those goofy superheroes,
1407
01:07:48,490 --> 01:07:50,396
especially Kabukiman.
1408
01:07:50,420 --> 01:07:51,706
Oh, my gosh.
1409
01:07:51,730 --> 01:07:52,507
We're doomed.
1410
01:07:52,531 --> 01:07:54,306
We're doomed!
1411
01:07:54,330 --> 01:07:55,486
We're gonna die!
1412
01:07:55,510 --> 01:07:57,498
[SQUEALING]
1413
01:07:58,990 --> 01:08:00,356
W-w-w-w-wait.
1414
01:08:00,380 --> 01:08:01,836
We acting all chicken.
1415
01:08:01,860 --> 01:08:05,466
It's about time we do
some evil ass kicking.
1416
01:08:05,490 --> 01:08:08,136
That's really nice,
Master-Bater, but fuck that!
1417
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,396
I'm not going to die!
1418
01:08:09,420 --> 01:08:10,436
Not in Jersey.
1419
01:08:10,460 --> 01:08:12,058
Now, I'm getting the hell out of here.
1420
01:08:12,082 --> 01:08:15,554
[MOOING]
1421
01:08:36,819 --> 01:08:38,136
My god.
1422
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:40,415
I never thought of it that way before.
1423
01:08:40,439 --> 01:08:42,330
Now, let's save Tromaville!
1424
01:08:42,354 --> 01:08:44,298
[CHEERING]
1425
01:08:44,322 --> 01:08:45,283
Go, Mad Cowboy!
1426
01:08:45,307 --> 01:08:47,250
Go, Dolphin Man!
1427
01:08:47,274 --> 01:08:48,726
Go, Master-Bater!
1428
01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:50,726
Heat it up, Vibrator!
1429
01:08:50,750 --> 01:08:52,686
I'm coming!
1430
01:08:52,710 --> 01:08:55,626
Ah!
1431
01:08:55,650 --> 01:09:00,060
[SCREAMING]
1432
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,940
[LAUGHTER]
1433
01:09:11,350 --> 01:09:13,915
That Kabuki faggot ran away.
1434
01:09:13,939 --> 01:09:15,420
I kicked his ass good.
1435
01:09:18,200 --> 01:09:19,027
I guess that...
1436
01:09:19,051 --> 01:09:20,942
[MOOING]
1437
01:09:26,149 --> 01:09:28,255
Well, I guess that...
1438
01:09:28,279 --> 01:09:30,433
[MOOING]
1439
01:09:36,300 --> 01:09:37,076
I guess...
1440
01:09:37,100 --> 01:09:38,100
[GRUNT]
1441
01:09:40,350 --> 01:09:41,505
I guess that takes care of that.
1442
01:09:41,529 --> 01:09:42,529
[GRUNT]
1443
01:09:54,269 --> 01:10:01,576
I, Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD, am a failure.
1444
01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:03,366
I suck.
1445
01:10:03,390 --> 01:10:09,416
I... my armour's broken,
my leg is all fucked up,
1446
01:10:09,440 --> 01:10:13,446
and I gotta pee like a race horse.
1447
01:10:13,470 --> 01:10:14,520
Where's the hospital?
1448
01:10:18,070 --> 01:10:20,206
Aw, shit.
1449
01:10:20,230 --> 01:10:22,486
This ain't the fucking hospital?
1450
01:10:22,510 --> 01:10:25,308
That's not the fucking hospital.
1451
01:10:25,332 --> 01:10:26,151
Hey.
1452
01:10:26,175 --> 01:10:28,926
You got a pisser in here?
1453
01:10:28,950 --> 01:10:33,036
Cause I've gotta pee real bad.
1454
01:10:33,060 --> 01:10:34,060
Yes, I do.
1455
01:10:37,366 --> 01:10:43,726
Ah. [URINATING] Huh?
1456
01:10:43,750 --> 01:10:45,142
Oh my gosh.
1457
01:10:45,166 --> 01:10:48,776
Who could do such a thing to a defenceless,
1458
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:54,816
beautiful, hot, exceedingly
attractive woman like that?
1459
01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:58,848
I must... I must free her.
1460
01:10:58,872 --> 01:10:59,649
Yeah.
1461
01:10:59,673 --> 01:11:03,936
Here I come, Kabukiman to the rescue.
1462
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:07,716
Hold on there, damsel in distress.
1463
01:11:07,740 --> 01:11:10,176
Your hero's about to arrive.
1464
01:11:10,200 --> 01:11:11,486
You're safe.
1465
01:11:11,510 --> 01:11:13,056
I'm here to rescue you.
1466
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:18,516
Just grab these knots, undo
these knockers... these knots.
1467
01:11:18,540 --> 01:11:20,468
This is not easy.
1468
01:11:20,492 --> 01:11:22,420
Yeah.
1469
01:11:22,444 --> 01:11:26,348
[SNORING]
1470
01:11:34,332 --> 01:11:35,332
Hm.
1471
01:11:39,290 --> 01:11:40,290
Have a pie.
1472
01:11:49,970 --> 01:11:52,910
See ya tomorrow?
1473
01:11:52,934 --> 01:11:54,896
[KNOCKING]
1474
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:55,986
All right, all right.
1475
01:11:56,010 --> 01:11:57,010
Who's next?
1476
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:01,097
Claire?
1477
01:12:01,121 --> 01:12:03,086
Is that you?
1478
01:12:03,110 --> 01:12:05,876
Oh, Chester!
1479
01:12:05,900 --> 01:12:09,636
Claire, I thought you were dead.
1480
01:12:09,660 --> 01:12:12,371
I was dead without your love.
1481
01:12:12,395 --> 01:12:17,716
I dreamed of you every single night.
1482
01:12:17,740 --> 01:12:23,252
Dreams of you were all that
got me through... the rape,
1483
01:12:23,276 --> 01:12:26,836
and the torture, and the cornholing,
1484
01:12:26,860 --> 01:12:31,298
and the... that fucker
Noxie put me through.
1485
01:12:31,322 --> 01:12:32,789
Oh!
1486
01:12:32,813 --> 01:12:37,276
Oh, my darling, look
what he did to your face.
1487
01:12:37,300 --> 01:12:39,136
It doesn't matter now.
1488
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:42,960
All that matters is I'm here with you.
1489
01:12:53,740 --> 01:12:55,856
Oh, Chester!
1490
01:12:55,880 --> 01:12:56,880
Claire!
1491
01:13:00,937 --> 01:13:01,937
Oh, yeah!
1492
01:13:08,422 --> 01:13:12,414
[MOANING]
1493
01:13:13,911 --> 01:13:15,883
You're extra deep.
1494
01:13:15,907 --> 01:13:17,903
[BLOWING RASPBERRY]
1495
01:13:19,899 --> 01:13:25,376
Oh, do you remember the cheese?
1496
01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:28,086
I saved the cheese for you, Claire.
1497
01:13:28,110 --> 01:13:31,307
I've been waiting so long to
put the cheese for you, Claire.
1498
01:13:48,273 --> 01:13:51,742
Get it up, cowboy!
1499
01:13:51,766 --> 01:13:54,237
Oh, baby.
1500
01:13:54,261 --> 01:13:56,732
Claire, I love you.
1501
01:13:56,756 --> 01:14:01,166
Oh, me too.
1502
01:14:01,190 --> 01:14:02,089
You're pregnant!
1503
01:14:02,113 --> 01:14:04,076
Ha ha ha!
1504
01:14:04,100 --> 01:14:06,576
That's wonderful, doctor!
1505
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:09,856
You're pregnant with two babies.
1506
01:14:09,880 --> 01:14:11,666
Two babies?
1507
01:14:11,690 --> 01:14:15,976
From what appears to be
two completely different fathers.
1508
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:17,000
And that's preposterous!
1509
01:14:19,732 --> 01:14:25,662
That must be good and evil.
1510
01:14:25,686 --> 01:14:27,144
Right.
1511
01:14:27,168 --> 01:14:30,126
Well, what can I do about that, doctor?
1512
01:14:30,150 --> 01:14:31,881
Well, I'm glad you asked that question.
1513
01:14:31,905 --> 01:14:32,866
Ha ha ha!
1514
01:14:32,890 --> 01:14:33,890
Nurse?
1515
01:14:36,482 --> 01:14:37,302
Lovely.
1516
01:14:37,326 --> 01:14:38,356
Just like that.
1517
01:14:38,380 --> 01:14:39,157
Thank you.
1518
01:14:39,181 --> 01:14:43,466
What I have done is
extracted the actual fluid
1519
01:14:43,490 --> 01:14:45,946
from the [INAUDIBLE] inside your body.
1520
01:14:45,970 --> 01:14:46,747
Huh?
1521
01:14:46,771 --> 01:14:49,536
This is the good fluid, this is the evil fluid.
1522
01:14:49,560 --> 01:14:50,856
You can tell because it's red.
1523
01:14:50,880 --> 01:14:51,657
Mm-hm.
1524
01:14:51,681 --> 01:14:55,836
Now, inside your body
you have to make a choice,
1525
01:14:55,860 --> 01:14:57,490
because these two right here, they're
1526
01:14:57,514 --> 01:14:58,457
fighting, fighting, fighting.
1527
01:14:58,481 --> 01:15:04,470
One will win, and eventually,
this is what it will look like.
1528
01:15:04,494 --> 01:15:05,928
[GASP]
1529
01:15:05,952 --> 01:15:08,206
That's [INAUDIBLE].
1530
01:15:08,230 --> 01:15:10,471
That will be you!
1531
01:15:10,495 --> 01:15:12,996
The choice is very
simple and clearly yours.
1532
01:15:13,020 --> 01:15:15,206
Either A, you can choose to explode,
1533
01:15:15,230 --> 01:15:17,848
or B, you can choose to abort.
1534
01:15:17,872 --> 01:15:19,536
Explode or abort?
1535
01:15:19,560 --> 01:15:20,706
What does one do?
1536
01:15:20,730 --> 01:15:23,056
Ha ha ha!
1537
01:15:23,080 --> 01:15:25,876
I'll have to think about that, doctor.
1538
01:15:25,900 --> 01:15:27,446
Ah, but not too long, because actually,
1539
01:15:27,470 --> 01:15:30,076
you only have about two or
three hours until this whole process
1540
01:15:30,100 --> 01:15:31,146
takes place.
1541
01:15:31,170 --> 01:15:31,947
Oh!
1542
01:15:31,971 --> 01:15:34,850
Oh!
1543
01:15:34,874 --> 01:15:36,302
Ah!
1544
01:15:36,326 --> 01:15:39,690
Melvin, where are you?
1545
01:15:39,714 --> 01:15:41,926
Doctor, don't you think
it's time you removed
1546
01:15:41,950 --> 01:15:43,406
the thermometer from my behind?
1547
01:15:43,430 --> 01:15:45,726
Well, let me check.
1548
01:15:45,750 --> 01:15:46,667
Ow.
1549
01:15:46,691 --> 01:15:49,813
[PHONE RINGING]
1550
01:15:49,837 --> 01:15:50,747
Tromaville Abortion Clinic.
1551
01:15:50,771 --> 01:15:52,676
May I help you?
1552
01:15:52,700 --> 01:15:55,306
I'm sorry, but the doctor'
still in the topless bar.
1553
01:15:55,330 --> 01:15:57,290
I mean, an appointment?
1554
01:15:57,314 --> 01:15:59,298
Would you like his voicemail?
1555
01:16:02,770 --> 01:16:04,234
Choose or die!
1556
01:16:04,258 --> 01:16:06,714
Choose life or die!
1557
01:16:06,738 --> 01:16:08,698
Choose life or die!
1558
01:16:08,722 --> 01:16:11,178
Choose life or die!
1559
01:16:11,202 --> 01:16:13,658
Choose life or die!
1560
01:16:13,682 --> 01:16:15,146
Choose life or die!
1561
01:16:15,170 --> 01:16:18,618
It sure is hot out here today.
1562
01:16:18,642 --> 01:16:20,106
Choose life or die!
1563
01:16:20,130 --> 01:16:21,594
Choose life or die!
1564
01:16:21,618 --> 01:16:22,586
Hello?
1565
01:16:22,610 --> 01:16:23,579
Choose life or die!
1566
01:16:23,603 --> 01:16:25,066
Excuse me?
1567
01:16:25,090 --> 01:16:29,034
Is this the line for the family planning?
1568
01:16:29,058 --> 01:16:31,514
Choose life or die!
1569
01:16:31,538 --> 01:16:34,986
Burn in hell, abortion bitch!
1570
01:16:35,010 --> 01:16:37,466
Choose life or die!
1571
01:16:37,490 --> 01:16:39,698
At least this sweet, gentle rain
1572
01:16:39,722 --> 01:16:41,954
will cool things off today.
1573
01:16:45,922 --> 01:16:48,526
Oh, my goodness!
1574
01:16:48,550 --> 01:16:49,507
Oh, my goodness!
1575
01:16:49,531 --> 01:16:51,956
Sweetie, look at you.
1576
01:16:51,980 --> 01:16:54,702
We gotta get you an abortion ASAP.
1577
01:16:54,726 --> 01:16:58,166
Yes, we're gonna take good care of you.
1578
01:16:58,190 --> 01:17:01,906
Well, I'm really only
here to weigh my options.
1579
01:17:01,930 --> 01:17:02,707
Options?
1580
01:17:02,731 --> 01:17:05,552
Oh, we've got lots of options.
1581
01:17:05,576 --> 01:17:06,946
Let's see.
1582
01:17:06,970 --> 01:17:11,276
First we open up your
vagina with this speculum,
1583
01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:13,456
and then take this instrument that
1584
01:17:13,480 --> 01:17:15,731
looks sort of like a harpoon, and we
1585
01:17:15,755 --> 01:17:18,201
can shove it on in, and...
1586
01:17:18,225 --> 01:17:19,686
Oh!
1587
01:17:19,710 --> 01:17:21,171
What's the matter, my dear?
1588
01:17:21,195 --> 01:17:24,141
I think I'm going into labour!
1589
01:17:24,165 --> 01:17:25,626
Oh, my goodness.
1590
01:17:25,650 --> 01:17:27,646
We'd better abort in a hurry.
1591
01:17:27,670 --> 01:17:28,670
Dr. Cassidy!
1592
01:17:34,230 --> 01:17:36,546
What seems to be the problem, Ms. Scraper?
1593
01:17:36,570 --> 01:17:39,646
This young lady needs
to be de-fetused stat.
1594
01:17:39,670 --> 01:17:41,686
Ah, an excellent choice, my dear.
1595
01:17:41,710 --> 01:17:43,326
And so much better for the children,
1596
01:17:43,350 --> 01:17:44,127
I'm sure you'll agree.
1597
01:17:44,151 --> 01:17:48,426
Now, let's just take a tiny little listen, OK?
1598
01:17:48,450 --> 01:17:49,746
Oh, my, my.
1599
01:17:49,770 --> 01:17:53,834
That one is lively, isn't it?
1600
01:17:53,858 --> 01:17:55,810
That fucking speculum!
1601
01:17:55,834 --> 01:17:58,280
I told you to put them away!
1602
01:17:58,304 --> 01:18:04,208
That speculum! [YELLING]
I said, would you please put
1603
01:18:04,232 --> 01:18:06,842
the speculum away when
you've... there's a case
1604
01:18:06,866 --> 01:18:08,842
for the speculum.
1605
01:18:08,866 --> 01:18:09,866
Argh!
1606
01:18:13,124 --> 01:18:14,582
Next?
1607
01:18:14,606 --> 01:18:16,064
My anus!
1608
01:18:16,088 --> 01:18:17,088
My fucking butt hole!
1609
01:18:22,510 --> 01:18:25,944
Call a doctor!
1610
01:18:25,968 --> 01:18:29,402
[PHONE RINGING]
1611
01:18:29,426 --> 01:18:30,826
Tromaville Abortion Clinic.
1612
01:18:30,850 --> 01:18:32,776
May I help you?
1613
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:36,128
I'm sorry, but the doctor just
died of rectal haemorrhaging.
1614
01:18:36,152 --> 01:18:38,598
Would you like his voicemail?
1615
01:18:38,622 --> 01:18:40,080
We'll go home.
1616
01:18:40,104 --> 01:18:41,796
It's OK.
1617
01:18:41,820 --> 01:18:43,231
It's OK, Toxie.
1618
01:18:43,255 --> 01:18:44,032
Look.
1619
01:18:44,056 --> 01:18:46,416
I told you he'd be here.
1620
01:18:46,440 --> 01:18:49,096
Claire says that she knew
you'd be here, in this dump.
1621
01:18:49,120 --> 01:18:51,356
It's the only place I know.
1622
01:18:51,380 --> 01:18:54,826
We'd like to thank you again
for bringing us back together.
1623
01:18:54,850 --> 01:18:55,797
Yes.
1624
01:18:55,821 --> 01:18:57,416
Thank you.
1625
01:18:57,440 --> 01:18:59,456
So come on, let's get you out of here.
1626
01:18:59,480 --> 01:19:01,536
What's the point?
1627
01:19:01,560 --> 01:19:03,236
I mean, I belong here in the dump,
1628
01:19:03,260 --> 01:19:05,866
with the garbage and the rotting food.
1629
01:19:05,890 --> 01:19:08,366
You seem to have forgotten something.
1630
01:19:08,390 --> 01:19:10,366
I'm a physicist!
1631
01:19:10,390 --> 01:19:11,956
When I said I'm going
to get you out of here,
1632
01:19:11,980 --> 01:19:14,206
I mean out of this dimension.
1633
01:19:14,230 --> 01:19:15,551
Dimension.
1634
01:19:15,575 --> 01:19:16,611
So come on.
1635
01:19:16,635 --> 01:19:17,416
Come on.
1636
01:19:17,440 --> 01:19:18,217
Let's go.
1637
01:19:18,241 --> 01:19:19,656
We can go.
1638
01:19:19,680 --> 01:19:23,206
A scientific comrade of mine
was recently killed in a freak
1639
01:19:23,230 --> 01:19:26,916
accident, and he bequeathed
me his entire laboratory,
1640
01:19:26,940 --> 01:19:30,966
and all of his insane theories
about interdimensional travel.
1641
01:19:30,990 --> 01:19:31,930
[INAUDIBLE].
1642
01:19:31,954 --> 01:19:33,816
I hope you don't mind a mess.
1643
01:19:33,840 --> 01:19:34,617
Ah, no.
1644
01:19:34,641 --> 01:19:37,676
I, uh, I didn't even notice it.
1645
01:19:37,700 --> 01:19:40,480
Now, let's get you back to Tromaville!
1646
01:19:40,504 --> 01:19:44,488
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1647
01:21:00,210 --> 01:21:02,636
I think I've got it, Toxie.
1648
01:21:02,660 --> 01:21:05,906
I found the key to
interdimensional travel in this
1649
01:21:05,930 --> 01:21:08,106
seldom read scientific tome.
1650
01:21:08,130 --> 01:21:10,511
Please tell me it doesn't
involve exploding a school
1651
01:21:10,535 --> 01:21:12,266
full of special children.
1652
01:21:12,290 --> 01:21:14,296
No, it's much simpler.
1653
01:21:14,320 --> 01:21:16,596
You see, Toxie, you've had the power
1654
01:21:16,620 --> 01:21:18,846
to go home this whole time.
1655
01:21:22,900 --> 01:21:27,016
These will help you find your way.
1656
01:21:27,040 --> 01:21:28,512
I give up.
1657
01:21:28,536 --> 01:21:29,536
Oh.
1658
01:21:33,340 --> 01:21:35,992
The operating procedures are quite simple.
1659
01:21:36,016 --> 01:21:38,276
All you have to do is think of home
1660
01:21:38,300 --> 01:21:42,196
and click your heels three times.
1661
01:21:42,220 --> 01:21:44,506
You may have to try this more than once.
1662
01:21:44,530 --> 01:21:47,206
Interdimensional travel
is not an exact science.
1663
01:21:47,230 --> 01:21:48,576
You might find yourself in Heaven,
1664
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:52,756
or you might find yourself
in a 1970s gay porno set.
1665
01:21:52,780 --> 01:21:54,836
Ready?
1666
01:21:54,860 --> 01:21:56,906
Upsie-daisy.
1667
01:21:56,930 --> 01:21:58,056
- Come on, Tito.
- Come on, Tito.
1668
01:21:58,080 --> 01:21:59,066
Hop up.
1669
01:21:59,090 --> 01:22:00,448
I'm not going.
1670
01:22:00,472 --> 01:22:02,011
Huh?
1671
01:22:02,035 --> 01:22:03,400
What do you mean you're not going?
1672
01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:06,377
Tito, come on.
1673
01:22:06,401 --> 01:22:07,856
We've got to go back to Tromaville.
1674
01:22:07,880 --> 01:22:10,598
We don't belong here.
1675
01:22:10,622 --> 01:22:13,706
I don't belong anywhere.
1676
01:22:13,730 --> 01:22:19,446
But as long as there are
people like evil Mabukupagup...
1677
01:22:19,470 --> 01:22:23,316
Kabukiman, running around,
I must stay and protect
1678
01:22:23,340 --> 01:22:25,746
the citizens of Amortville.
1679
01:22:25,770 --> 01:22:29,528
I have become the Retarded Revenger!
1680
01:22:29,552 --> 01:22:32,676
And don't forget about
your sidekick Pompey,
1681
01:22:32,700 --> 01:22:34,980
the baddest body less mother
fucker in all of Amortville!
1682
01:22:38,660 --> 01:22:42,066
I want you to have this,
in memory of Lard Ass.
1683
01:22:42,090 --> 01:22:45,146
Make me proud.
1684
01:22:45,170 --> 01:22:49,056
Actually, Tito, you've
already made me proud.
1685
01:22:49,080 --> 01:22:50,088
Aw, man.
1686
01:22:50,112 --> 01:22:53,830
I will miss you, Toxic Avenger.
1687
01:22:56,350 --> 01:22:58,026
I'll miss you too, Tito.
1688
01:22:58,050 --> 01:22:59,327
Yeah.
1689
01:22:59,351 --> 01:23:00,351
Can I have my blanket?
1690
01:23:06,407 --> 01:23:07,407
Ready?
1691
01:23:09,910 --> 01:23:11,991
There's no place Tromaville.
1692
01:23:12,015 --> 01:23:14,901
There's no place like Tromaville.
1693
01:23:14,925 --> 01:23:16,865
There's no place like Tromaville!
1694
01:23:36,480 --> 01:23:38,116
That's right!
1695
01:23:38,140 --> 01:23:42,037
What's... what the... what the... Ow!
1696
01:23:42,061 --> 01:23:42,837
Oh!
1697
01:23:42,861 --> 01:23:43,797
Oh!
1698
01:23:43,821 --> 01:23:48,778
I... I... I don't... I never... oh!
1699
01:23:48,802 --> 01:23:50,912
[MOANING]
1700
01:23:50,936 --> 01:23:51,936
Cut!
1701
01:24:02,510 --> 01:24:04,376
Alfred Jones.
1702
01:24:04,400 --> 01:24:06,746
Leukemia.
1703
01:24:06,770 --> 01:24:09,046
Jeffrey Smith.
1704
01:24:09,070 --> 01:24:11,066
Alcoholism.
1705
01:24:11,090 --> 01:24:12,916
Bill Gullow.
1706
01:24:12,940 --> 01:24:14,236
Polio.
1707
01:24:14,260 --> 01:24:17,396
God, I kind of think thy have
invented a cure for that one.
1708
01:24:17,420 --> 01:24:18,197
Oh.
1709
01:24:18,221 --> 01:24:19,276
God dammit.
1710
01:24:19,300 --> 01:24:20,666
Well, that's all right.
1711
01:24:20,690 --> 01:24:22,296
Every time they come
up with a cure for one,
1712
01:24:22,320 --> 01:24:25,316
disease I come up with
something even more deadlier.
1713
01:24:25,340 --> 01:24:26,117
AIDS.
1714
01:24:26,141 --> 01:24:27,756
Now, that was a good one.
1715
01:24:27,780 --> 01:24:28,607
AIDS.
1716
01:24:28,631 --> 01:24:32,018
[LAUGHTER]
1717
01:24:35,060 --> 01:24:35,976
God?
1718
01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:36,776
Yeah.
1719
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:37,777
What do you want?
1720
01:24:37,801 --> 01:24:39,276
We just want to go home?
1721
01:24:39,300 --> 01:24:40,516
You bastard.
1722
01:24:40,540 --> 01:24:42,426
What do you want to go home for?
1723
01:24:42,450 --> 01:24:43,337
This is Heaven.
1724
01:24:43,361 --> 01:24:46,436
This is the best place around.
1725
01:24:46,460 --> 01:24:48,729
OK.
1726
01:24:48,753 --> 01:24:49,663
Hey, God, I know this guy.
1727
01:24:49,687 --> 01:24:50,859
He's the Toxic Avenger.
1728
01:24:50,883 --> 01:24:51,992
He's gotta get back to Tromaville.
1729
01:24:52,016 --> 01:24:53,316
We gotta get him out of here.
1730
01:24:53,340 --> 01:24:54,117
All right.
1731
01:24:54,141 --> 01:24:56,676
You can go back to Tromaville.
1732
01:24:56,700 --> 01:24:58,156
But you gotta do me two favours.
1733
01:24:58,180 --> 01:24:58,977
Uh-huh.
1734
01:24:59,001 --> 01:25:00,806
First you gotta go kick the asses of all
1735
01:25:00,830 --> 01:25:02,126
the murderers and child rapers.
1736
01:25:02,150 --> 01:25:02,927
Yeah?
1737
01:25:02,951 --> 01:25:05,986
And you tell the Pope
to stop talking about me.
1738
01:25:06,010 --> 01:25:08,146
He doesn't know me, he's an asshole,
1739
01:25:08,170 --> 01:25:11,396
and tell him that his
hat looks fucking stupid.
1740
01:25:11,420 --> 01:25:12,297
Uh, yes, sir.
1741
01:25:12,321 --> 01:25:13,866
Get outta here.
1742
01:25:13,890 --> 01:25:14,854
All right, God.
1743
01:25:14,878 --> 01:25:15,878
You're awesome.
1744
01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:26,356
All those other superhuman
heroes would have died, anyway.
1745
01:25:26,380 --> 01:25:30,036
Now I've got Toxie's shack for drinking,
1746
01:25:30,060 --> 01:25:32,566
got some bimbos on the way.
1747
01:25:32,590 --> 01:25:33,736
It's all good.
1748
01:25:33,760 --> 01:25:34,760
[BELCH]
1749
01:25:37,150 --> 01:25:39,706
What the... who the hell are
you... oh my god, oh my god.
1750
01:25:39,730 --> 01:25:40,506
Oh, no.
1751
01:25:40,530 --> 01:25:41,409
Oh, no.
1752
01:25:41,433 --> 01:25:43,266
Toxie.
1753
01:25:43,290 --> 01:25:44,067
Noxie.
1754
01:25:44,091 --> 01:25:45,576
He's gonna... he's gonna kill us.
1755
01:25:45,600 --> 01:25:46,547
[PANICKING]
1756
01:25:46,571 --> 01:25:48,696
I just had the weirdest dream.
1757
01:25:48,720 --> 01:25:51,276
And Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD, you were there.
1758
01:25:51,300 --> 01:25:55,106
Except you were evil,
and you kicked my ass.
1759
01:25:55,130 --> 01:25:58,346
And you... you weren't there.
1760
01:25:58,370 --> 01:26:01,766
And you... you weren't there, either.
1761
01:26:01,790 --> 01:26:02,886
Who are you guys?
1762
01:26:02,910 --> 01:26:04,336
What are you doing in my shack?
1763
01:26:04,360 --> 01:26:07,366
Don't hurt me.
1764
01:26:07,390 --> 01:26:08,996
Kabuk, where's Sarah?
1765
01:26:09,020 --> 01:26:09,797
What's going on?
1766
01:26:09,821 --> 01:26:11,836
What happened to you?
1767
01:26:11,860 --> 01:26:13,256
Uh, Toxie?
1768
01:26:13,280 --> 01:26:14,586
Toxie, is that really you?
1769
01:26:14,610 --> 01:26:16,426
Is that the real you?
1770
01:26:16,450 --> 01:26:18,422
Yeah, it's me.
1771
01:26:18,446 --> 01:26:20,866
Oh, thank God.
1772
01:26:20,890 --> 01:26:23,466
Hey, you've... you've gotta stop yourself.
1773
01:26:23,490 --> 01:26:26,046
The evil version of you.
1774
01:26:26,070 --> 01:26:27,771
You've gone power mad.
1775
01:26:27,795 --> 01:26:29,796
The evil version of me?
1776
01:26:29,820 --> 01:26:31,366
Uh-huh.
1777
01:26:31,390 --> 01:26:32,257
Sweetie Honey.
1778
01:26:32,281 --> 01:26:33,996
Uh-huh?
1779
01:26:34,020 --> 01:26:35,663
Then it wasn't a dream.
1780
01:26:35,687 --> 01:26:36,796
Mm-mm.
1781
01:26:36,820 --> 01:26:37,826
Where's Sarah?
1782
01:26:37,850 --> 01:26:39,726
I saw her at the hospital.
1783
01:26:39,750 --> 01:26:42,896
She'd been kidnapped by the
evil Toxic Avenger, or evil you,
1784
01:26:42,920 --> 01:26:44,467
and... well, no.
1785
01:26:44,491 --> 01:26:45,467
You don't want to go in there.
1786
01:26:45,491 --> 01:26:47,176
It's all sealed up tight now, and he's
1787
01:26:47,200 --> 01:26:49,926
got a shit load of guard,
and he'll know kung fu.
1788
01:26:49,950 --> 01:26:51,106
OK, OK.
1789
01:26:51,130 --> 01:26:53,176
We've got to get the
other heroes of Tromaville
1790
01:26:53,200 --> 01:26:54,546
and storm the hospital.
1791
01:26:54,570 --> 01:26:55,570
They're all dead.
1792
01:26:58,280 --> 01:26:59,366
All of them?
1793
01:26:59,390 --> 01:27:01,296
Yep.
1794
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:02,216
Even Dolphin Man?
1795
01:27:02,240 --> 01:27:03,240
Oh, yeah.
1796
01:27:08,030 --> 01:27:08,807
All right.
1797
01:27:08,831 --> 01:27:10,136
Well, then, it's up to the two of us.
1798
01:27:10,160 --> 01:27:11,160
- Hm?
- Come on, let's go.
1799
01:27:14,160 --> 01:27:15,306
OK.
1800
01:27:15,330 --> 01:27:16,106
I'll catch up with ya.
1801
01:27:16,130 --> 01:27:16,907
I'll be right there.
1802
01:27:16,931 --> 01:27:22,126
Just gonna... What's your name?
1803
01:27:22,150 --> 01:27:23,356
Sweetie Honey.
1804
01:27:23,380 --> 01:27:25,426
I'm a big girl, too.
1805
01:27:25,450 --> 01:27:26,227
Oh, yes you are.
1806
01:27:26,251 --> 01:27:27,741
Here, would you like a drink?
1807
01:27:39,669 --> 01:27:43,124
Good girl.
1808
01:27:43,148 --> 01:27:45,633
[GROWLING]
1809
01:27:47,621 --> 01:27:48,621
Ha ha ha!
1810
01:27:59,052 --> 01:28:01,537
[GROANING]
1811
01:28:06,507 --> 01:28:08,321
It hurts!
1812
01:28:08,345 --> 01:28:09,426
Yes.
1813
01:28:09,450 --> 01:28:10,506
Fight, my son.
1814
01:28:10,530 --> 01:28:11,530
Fight.
1815
01:28:14,511 --> 01:28:16,276
How long?
1816
01:28:16,300 --> 01:28:18,356
I'm not sure.
1817
01:28:18,380 --> 01:28:19,606
Very well.
1818
01:28:19,630 --> 01:28:21,526
If you need me, I'll be in
the snack bar having nachos.
1819
01:28:21,550 --> 01:28:24,454
Ow!
1820
01:28:24,478 --> 01:28:27,870
[GERMAN SPEECH OVER INTERCOM]
1821
01:28:27,894 --> 01:28:30,798
Seig heil.
1822
01:28:30,822 --> 01:28:31,775
Sieg heil.
1823
01:28:31,799 --> 01:28:33,374
- Sieg heil.
- Sieg heil.
1824
01:28:33,398 --> 01:28:34,214
Sieg heil.
1825
01:28:34,238 --> 01:28:35,238
Sieg... whoa!
1826
01:28:39,118 --> 01:28:41,786
Kazinski, we may have a problem.
1827
01:28:41,810 --> 01:28:42,587
What is it?
1828
01:28:42,611 --> 01:28:44,586
I'm due for my nose job.
1829
01:28:44,610 --> 01:28:46,506
I think Toxie's good again.
1830
01:28:46,530 --> 01:28:49,056
What a misfortune.
1831
01:28:49,080 --> 01:28:50,226
Toxie, come in.
1832
01:28:50,250 --> 01:28:52,406
Greedhopper says you've turned good again.
1833
01:28:52,430 --> 01:28:54,186
What the hell is that?
1834
01:28:54,210 --> 01:28:56,176
Go check it out.
1835
01:28:56,200 --> 01:28:58,136
And make sure whatever he's talking about
1836
01:28:58,160 --> 01:29:00,586
doesn't make it to this floor.
1837
01:29:00,610 --> 01:29:02,036
Yes, sir.
1838
01:29:02,060 --> 01:29:02,857
Sieg heil.
1839
01:29:02,881 --> 01:29:04,681
Sieg heil.
1840
01:29:04,705 --> 01:29:08,170
[SCREAMING]
1841
01:29:09,845 --> 01:29:10,845
Whoa!
1842
01:29:13,310 --> 01:29:14,310
Huh?
1843
01:29:29,950 --> 01:29:31,906
Ah!
1844
01:29:31,930 --> 01:29:35,395
[SHOUTING]
1845
01:29:37,565 --> 01:29:38,565
Huh?
1846
01:29:41,830 --> 01:29:44,305
[SHOUTING]
1847
01:30:01,870 --> 01:30:04,776
I gotta find Sarah.
1848
01:30:04,800 --> 01:30:06,866
If there only were a giant
map, like they have at the mall,
1849
01:30:06,890 --> 01:30:09,316
for Tromaville Hospital.
1850
01:30:09,340 --> 01:30:10,307
Oh.
1851
01:30:10,331 --> 01:30:11,696
Hello.
1852
01:30:11,720 --> 01:30:12,497
Let's see.
1853
01:30:12,521 --> 01:30:17,826
I am here, and Noxie is here.
1854
01:30:17,850 --> 01:30:20,296
And, uh... let's see, here.
1855
01:30:20,320 --> 01:30:23,606
Armed guard that want to kill me are here.
1856
01:30:23,630 --> 01:30:24,630
Huh?
1857
01:30:37,590 --> 01:30:38,590
Huh?
1858
01:30:57,314 --> 01:30:58,287
Oh, no!
1859
01:30:58,311 --> 01:31:00,278
Now I've got AIDS!
1860
01:31:00,302 --> 01:31:02,294
[SCREAMING]
1861
01:31:34,664 --> 01:31:37,154
[SCREAMING]
1862
01:31:51,098 --> 01:31:53,090
[SCREAMING]
1863
01:32:03,548 --> 01:32:07,010
[ROARING]
1864
01:32:07,034 --> 01:32:11,018
[SCREAMING]
1865
01:32:12,014 --> 01:32:12,987
I gotta get outta here.
1866
01:32:13,011 --> 01:32:16,170
I gotta get out of here!
1867
01:32:16,194 --> 01:32:17,194
Toxie!
1868
01:32:23,050 --> 01:32:27,306
You blew up a school
filled with special children.
1869
01:32:27,330 --> 01:32:30,636
What's inside your head?
1870
01:32:30,660 --> 01:32:32,530
Let's find out, shall we?
1871
01:32:37,277 --> 01:32:39,351
No, Toxie!
1872
01:32:39,375 --> 01:32:40,151
No!
1873
01:32:40,175 --> 01:32:41,175
No!
1874
01:32:44,522 --> 01:32:45,676
SARAH: Melvin!
1875
01:32:45,700 --> 01:32:46,776
Sarah!
1876
01:32:46,800 --> 01:32:47,800
Sarah!
1877
01:32:50,350 --> 01:32:51,127
Yeah.
1878
01:32:51,151 --> 01:32:53,266
I fucked her.
1879
01:32:53,290 --> 01:32:54,290
No.
1880
01:33:13,538 --> 01:33:14,538
Ow, ow, ow!
1881
01:33:27,980 --> 01:33:29,474
[GROWLING]
1882
01:34:03,836 --> 01:34:05,828
[GROANING]
1883
01:34:33,218 --> 01:34:34,712
[SHOUTING]
1884
01:34:45,864 --> 01:34:46,640
What?
1885
01:34:46,664 --> 01:34:47,637
No!
1886
01:34:47,661 --> 01:34:49,130
I'm not even gonna kill you.
1887
01:34:49,154 --> 01:34:52,118
I'm gonna rape your virgin ass first.
1888
01:34:52,142 --> 01:34:54,306
No!
1889
01:34:54,330 --> 01:34:55,330
No!
1890
01:34:58,314 --> 01:34:59,314
Oh!
1891
01:35:03,792 --> 01:35:04,568
Ah!
1892
01:35:04,592 --> 01:35:05,592
You ever been to prison?
1893
01:35:09,768 --> 01:35:10,768
Hi-yah!
1894
01:35:18,038 --> 01:35:19,011
You just pump it up.
1895
01:35:19,035 --> 01:35:20,504
Is that how it works?
1896
01:35:20,528 --> 01:35:22,106
Let's just see how big your dick gets.
1897
01:35:22,130 --> 01:35:22,907
What are you doing?
1898
01:35:22,931 --> 01:35:24,606
I think it's gonna blow.
1899
01:35:24,630 --> 01:35:25,630
No!
1900
01:35:34,430 --> 01:35:36,430
I think my water broke!
1901
01:35:42,430 --> 01:35:43,407
Yah!
1902
01:35:43,431 --> 01:35:46,406
Hee hee hee!
1903
01:35:46,430 --> 01:35:47,406
Yay!
1904
01:35:47,430 --> 01:35:48,207
Yay!
1905
01:35:48,231 --> 01:35:49,906
Ha ha!
1906
01:35:49,930 --> 01:35:51,906
Nya, nya, nya, nya nya, nya.
1907
01:35:51,930 --> 01:35:54,706
Do you know what the
difference is between you and me?
1908
01:35:54,730 --> 01:35:57,246
I'm a real person.
1909
01:35:57,270 --> 01:36:00,355
I don't have to fill my
body with plastics... silicone.
1910
01:36:04,280 --> 01:36:06,306
My eye is real.
1911
01:36:06,330 --> 01:36:07,756
Doink.
1912
01:36:07,780 --> 01:36:09,050
My dick is real.
1913
01:36:12,438 --> 01:36:13,866
And my colon is real.
1914
01:36:13,890 --> 01:36:17,254
And my large intestine is real.
1915
01:36:17,278 --> 01:36:21,126
And my pancreas is real.
1916
01:36:21,150 --> 01:36:24,293
And my duodenal ulcer is real.
1917
01:36:24,317 --> 01:36:32,317
And most importantly, so is my heart.
1918
01:36:57,390 --> 01:36:59,046
Dewey?
1919
01:36:59,070 --> 01:37:00,070
Bozo?
1920
01:37:02,750 --> 01:37:05,266
Melvin?
1921
01:37:05,290 --> 01:37:06,243
Melvin.
1922
01:37:06,267 --> 01:37:08,146
I'm you.
1923
01:37:08,170 --> 01:37:08,997
I'm you.
1924
01:37:09,021 --> 01:37:11,736
Oh, give me a hug!
1925
01:37:11,760 --> 01:37:12,950
Oh, you're beautiful here.
1926
01:37:17,200 --> 01:37:19,675
[SHOUTING]
1927
01:37:23,140 --> 01:37:25,056
[INAUDIBLE]!
1928
01:37:25,080 --> 01:37:26,211
I'm sorry.
1929
01:37:26,235 --> 01:37:27,276
I'm sorry.
1930
01:37:27,300 --> 01:37:29,701
I...
1931
01:37:29,725 --> 01:37:30,602
[HORN]
1932
01:37:30,626 --> 01:37:33,011
What is wrong with you?
1933
01:37:33,035 --> 01:37:33,812
I'm evil.
1934
01:37:33,836 --> 01:37:35,296
That's what's wrong with me.
1935
01:37:35,320 --> 01:37:36,786
I'm from the other side.
1936
01:37:36,810 --> 01:37:38,690
Don't you know that yet?
1937
01:37:40,710 --> 01:37:41,966
Give it. Give me some!
1938
01:37:41,990 --> 01:37:42,806
No.
1939
01:37:42,830 --> 01:37:43,606
No!
1940
01:37:43,630 --> 01:37:44,542
That's it. No.
1941
01:37:44,566 --> 01:37:45,343
No.
1942
01:37:45,367 --> 01:37:47,952
I'm... oh, no!
1943
01:37:47,976 --> 01:37:48,976
That's it!
1944
01:37:51,944 --> 01:37:55,888
[SCREAMING]
1945
01:37:55,912 --> 01:37:59,384
[GURLGING]
1946
01:38:02,856 --> 01:38:07,792
I'll be back, mother
fucker, if there's a sequel!
1947
01:38:07,816 --> 01:38:11,386
I'll be back!
1948
01:38:11,410 --> 01:38:13,390
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
1949
01:38:18,340 --> 01:38:19,866
Oh...
1950
01:38:19,890 --> 01:38:20,666
Sarah!
1951
01:38:20,690 --> 01:38:21,467
It's OK, honey.
1952
01:38:21,491 --> 01:38:24,371
I'm here.
1953
01:38:24,395 --> 01:38:25,844
Oh, Melvin.
1954
01:38:25,868 --> 01:38:27,341
I'm so glad you're back.
1955
01:38:33,724 --> 01:38:34,683
Oh!
1956
01:38:34,707 --> 01:38:36,031
Oh!
1957
01:38:36,055 --> 01:38:37,286
Doctors!
1958
01:38:37,310 --> 01:38:38,856
Is there a doctor in the house?
1959
01:38:38,880 --> 01:38:39,657
Anyone?
1960
01:38:39,681 --> 01:38:41,096
Someone?
1961
01:38:41,120 --> 01:38:41,896
Oh my god.
1962
01:38:41,920 --> 01:38:42,920
She's haemorrhaging!
1963
01:38:44,960 --> 01:38:45,737
No, no.
1964
01:38:45,761 --> 01:38:47,186
This is just dick tissue.
1965
01:38:47,210 --> 01:38:48,129
Oh.
1966
01:38:48,153 --> 01:38:49,212
Oh.
1967
01:38:49,236 --> 01:38:50,013
Hello?
1968
01:38:50,037 --> 01:38:51,425
Hello?
1969
01:38:51,449 --> 01:38:52,846
Hm?
1970
01:38:52,870 --> 01:38:53,816
Baby?
1971
01:38:53,840 --> 01:38:54,647
Oh!
1972
01:38:54,671 --> 01:38:57,776
Tonight at 11:00, bad
Toxie out, good Toxie in.
1973
01:38:57,800 --> 01:38:59,406
And congratulations, Toxie.
1974
01:38:59,430 --> 01:39:00,266
We heard it's a boy.
1975
01:39:00,290 --> 01:39:01,067
Hey, all right.
1976
01:39:01,091 --> 01:39:03,726
Also at 11:00, our very own Josh Levitsky
1977
01:39:03,750 --> 01:39:07,005
will be taking some of our local
superheroes shopping for tights.
1978
01:39:13,459 --> 01:39:16,346
He's a beautiful, big, bouncing baby boy.
1979
01:39:16,370 --> 01:39:17,840
60 lbs and 4 ounces.
1980
01:39:20,584 --> 01:39:23,040
He is beautiful!
1981
01:39:23,064 --> 01:39:26,016
He looks just like you!
1982
01:39:26,040 --> 01:39:27,506
Dada.
1983
01:39:27,530 --> 01:39:29,716
Oh!
1984
01:39:29,740 --> 01:39:30,786
- Toxie.
- Oh.
1985
01:39:30,810 --> 01:39:31,966
Hey, Miss Weiner.
1986
01:39:31,990 --> 01:39:33,556
I just really wanted to thank you
1987
01:39:33,580 --> 01:39:38,286
for saving me and my
beautiful baby, Laquisha.
1988
01:39:38,310 --> 01:39:39,087
Aw.
1989
01:39:39,111 --> 01:39:41,992
She looks just like her mother.
1990
01:39:42,016 --> 01:39:44,093
And I've also brought
the special students in
1991
01:39:44,117 --> 01:39:45,222
to thank you, too.
1992
01:39:45,246 --> 01:39:48,180
Come on in, kids.
1993
01:39:48,204 --> 01:39:49,666
Come on in.
1994
01:39:49,690 --> 01:39:50,886
Hey, Sweetie.
1995
01:39:50,910 --> 01:39:53,456
Toxie, um, we made this award for you,
1996
01:39:53,480 --> 01:39:56,216
cause you're an alumnus of the Tromaville.
1997
01:39:56,240 --> 01:39:58,606
School for the Very Special.
1998
01:39:58,630 --> 01:40:01,346
And you're very special.
1999
01:40:01,370 --> 01:40:02,147
Wow.
2000
01:40:02,171 --> 01:40:04,796
And gee wiz, thanks, kids.
2001
01:40:04,820 --> 01:40:07,076
And Toxie?
2002
01:40:07,100 --> 01:40:09,968
I want you to have
the blankie for the baby.
2003
01:40:09,992 --> 01:40:13,446
Cause I'm a very big girl
now, and I don't need it.
2004
01:40:13,470 --> 01:40:14,616
Are you sure?
2005
01:40:14,640 --> 01:40:17,891
Just ask Kabukiman.
2006
01:40:17,915 --> 01:40:20,166
Hey, hey, hey!
2007
01:40:20,190 --> 01:40:21,816
Hey, Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD.
2008
01:40:21,840 --> 01:40:22,617
My best friend.
2009
01:40:22,641 --> 01:40:23,956
How you feeling?
2010
01:40:23,980 --> 01:40:24,887
Not too bad.
2011
01:40:24,911 --> 01:40:26,726
Doctors say my arm and leg should
2012
01:40:26,750 --> 01:40:28,316
be healed in a couple of weeks.
2013
01:40:28,340 --> 01:40:31,400
I just can't wait to get the
stitches removed from my anus.
2014
01:40:31,424 --> 01:40:34,009
Anus, anus, anus, anus, anus, anus!
2015
01:40:34,033 --> 01:40:35,033
Shh!
2016
01:40:39,703 --> 01:40:41,631
[POMPEY] Knock, knock.
2017
01:40:41,655 --> 01:40:42,432
Pompey!
2018
01:40:42,456 --> 01:40:43,976
You've got a new body.
2019
01:40:44,000 --> 01:40:45,531
You just aren't a head any more.
2020
01:40:45,555 --> 01:40:47,296
Honey, I don't know who Pompey is,
2021
01:40:47,320 --> 01:40:49,296
but you want to talk about bodies, honey,
2022
01:40:49,320 --> 01:40:50,616
you got some body on you.
2023
01:40:50,640 --> 01:40:54,576
Now, we... we can talk about
head and all that stuff later.
2024
01:40:54,600 --> 01:40:57,166
But are you ready to
meet your other new child?
2025
01:40:57,190 --> 01:40:57,967
Wait a minute.
2026
01:40:57,991 --> 01:40:59,190
Another child?
2027
01:40:59,214 --> 01:41:02,156
There is a baby!
2028
01:41:02,180 --> 01:41:03,786
I think a child is as much a product
2029
01:41:03,810 --> 01:41:05,568
of his environment as anything.
2030
01:41:05,592 --> 01:41:08,848
And I think we have enough
love to raise any kid as a good kid.
2031
01:41:08,872 --> 01:41:12,656
Well, if you think so, Melvin.
2032
01:41:12,680 --> 01:41:13,726
Yeah.
2033
01:41:13,750 --> 01:41:16,516
A real American family
for the new millennium.
2034
01:41:16,540 --> 01:41:18,256
Awesome!
2035
01:41:18,280 --> 01:41:19,056
Aw.
2036
01:41:19,080 --> 01:41:19,870
Hey!
2037
01:41:19,894 --> 01:41:20,686
Ah.
2038
01:41:20,710 --> 01:41:21,710
Now, let's take a peek.
2039
01:41:25,054 --> 01:41:28,042
[GASPING]
2040
01:41:29,880 --> 01:41:31,536
Oh!
2041
01:41:31,560 --> 01:41:32,537
What?
2042
01:41:32,561 --> 01:41:34,060
[GROWLING]
2043
01:41:37,060 --> 01:41:38,236
Oh!
2044
01:41:38,260 --> 01:41:39,037
Hey.
2045
01:41:39,061 --> 01:41:41,036
Cute kid.
2046
01:41:41,060 --> 01:41:43,036
Uh-oh.
2047
01:41:43,060 --> 01:41:44,036
Toxie.
2048
01:41:44,060 --> 01:41:44,837
Toxie.
2049
01:41:44,861 --> 01:41:46,036
I... I can explain.
2050
01:41:46,060 --> 01:41:47,536
Uh, I was drunk.
2051
01:41:47,560 --> 01:41:50,036
She was tied down.
2052
01:41:50,060 --> 01:41:53,156
I forgot to zip up.
2053
01:41:53,180 --> 01:41:53,957
All right.
2054
01:41:53,981 --> 01:41:55,464
Later.
2055
01:41:55,488 --> 01:41:58,482
[LAUGHTER]
2056
01:42:16,950 --> 01:42:19,276
[NARRATOR] Due to the
depletion of the ozone layer
2057
01:42:19,300 --> 01:42:22,606
and the careless dumping
of hazardous nuclear waste,
2058
01:42:22,630 --> 01:42:24,866
thousands of people find themselves
2059
01:42:24,890 --> 01:42:29,076
trapped in an evil parallel
universe every year.
2060
01:42:29,100 --> 01:42:30,588
And the numbers are rising.
2061
01:42:40,520 --> 01:42:44,276
This film is respectfully
dedicated to all those
2062
01:42:44,300 --> 01:42:46,996
who have lost their lives facing down
2063
01:42:47,020 --> 01:42:48,370
their own evil doppelgangers.
2064
01:42:58,110 --> 01:43:02,486
So, if you find yourself
thrust into an alternate reality,
2065
01:43:02,510 --> 01:43:04,626
look to the horizon.
2066
01:43:04,650 --> 01:43:09,306
One hideously deformed creature
of superhuman size and strength
2067
01:43:09,330 --> 01:43:10,766
will be there.
2068
01:43:10,790 --> 01:43:13,546
Yes, dear reader, he'll be there.
2069
01:43:13,570 --> 01:43:16,286
He's the Toxic Avenger.
2070
01:43:16,310 --> 01:43:21,749
And please, don't forget to
recycle your bottles and cans.
2071
01:43:21,773 --> 01:43:25,266
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2072
01:48:38,400 --> 01:48:39,177
This just in.
2073
01:48:39,201 --> 01:48:40,586
Jesus out, Satan in.
2074
01:48:40,610 --> 01:48:42,086
And I, for one, worship the dark lord.
2075
01:48:42,110 --> 01:48:43,156
- Really?
- Yeah, I do.
2076
01:48:43,180 --> 01:48:44,128
- You do?
- Mm-hm.
2077
01:48:44,152 --> 01:48:45,826
Do you guys get together
and have, like, worship...
2078
01:48:45,850 --> 01:48:46,627
We do.
2079
01:48:46,651 --> 01:48:48,446
Actually, this Sunday we're
having a calf slaughtering
2080
01:48:48,470 --> 01:48:49,646
at the 92nd Street Y.
2081
01:48:49,670 --> 01:48:50,447
Really?
2082
01:48:50,471 --> 01:48:53,240
Are our very own Josh Levitsky
will be running a cakewalk,
2083
01:48:53,264 --> 01:48:54,506
and then we're going to sacrifice him.
2084
01:48:54,530 --> 01:48:55,706
- Really?
- Yeah.
2085
01:48:55,730 --> 01:48:57,580
That's amazing.
133803
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