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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,170 --> 00:00:08,870 01 The Toxic Avenger - Sci-Fi 1984 English 2 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:23,199 New York City, the world capital of culture and industry. 3 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,200 Here, among the towering skyscrapers, 4 00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:30,199 civilization is guided by men of progress and the wonders of technology. 5 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:34,199 But for all this industrial advancement, there is a price to pay. 6 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:38,700 Pollution. The unavoidable by-product of today's society. 7 00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:45,199 Every year, millions of gallons of poisonous wastes, 8 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,699 garbage, and radioactive chemicals are disposed of in nearby towns 9 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:53,200 such as Tromaville, the toxic waste dumping capital of the world. 10 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,899 Our story takes place at the Tromaville Health Club 11 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:59,400 Where a young man named Melvin Furd works. 12 00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:02,199 Melvin's entire life, in fact 13 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:06,700 entire being was changed by toxic chemical waste. 14 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,200 Would you take a look at that fucking guy? 15 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:35,200 Dumb mop boy can't even mop right. 16 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,199 He's so stupid! 17 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,200 He's always got that shit-eating grin on his face. 18 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,200 What's he so happy about? 19 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:45,700 I hate that mop boy. 20 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:51,200 I think that creep is coming over here. 21 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,199 Julie, you smell something? 22 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:02,700 Ew! P-U! What's that stink? 23 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:09,700 Gee, that's funny. I don't smell nothing. 24 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,699 Melvin, clean up the toilet, it stinks over here! 25 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:18,200 OK. I'll be right there! 26 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,199 Look what you did, you fucking asshole! 27 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,199 Yeah, you fucking asshole! 28 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,699 - Hey, what are you, retarded? - Huh? retarded? 29 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:29,200 I'm sorry! 30 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:31,199 Sorry, huh? 31 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,676 You want me to go and get a fucking disease! 32 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,700 Yeah, you want her to go and get a fucking disease? 33 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,200 I didn't mean it! 34 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,200 Aw, I didn't mean it. 35 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:43,700 Next time you fuck with me, I'm gonna take this mop and shove it down your throat. 36 00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,199 He is stressing me, Julie! 37 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,699 He is stressing me! 38 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:49,700 Oh, Bozo 39 00:03:49,701 --> 00:03:53,700 I can't take it. I cannot take it Julie. He is screwing up my karma! 40 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:59,699 See what you did, you idiot? See what you did!? 41 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,199 You've stressed Bozo! 42 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,199 I'm sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to do it. He was sitting there and I... 43 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,800 Ah! How dare you talk to me, you twerp! 44 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:27,200 Keep it up, Bozo. Keep it up. 45 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,300 But remember, 46 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,200 there is only one muscle you gotta worry about. 47 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:39,199 Hey, you know. I think you ought to work a little bit on your gut. 48 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,200 You're getting a little bit flabby there. 49 00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,699 Where!? What are you talking about? 50 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,700 I don't got no fat! There's no fat here. I don't got no f... 51 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,200 Fat! Fat! 52 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,699 Slug, are you sure no one will come in? 53 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,699 I paid Tony 15 bucks. 54 00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:14,200 He said the place is ours until tomorrow morning. 55 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:18,699 Relax. You want a drink? 56 00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,500 - Yeah. - Alright. 57 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:31,199 Slug, can I come again next time you and Bozo go driving? 58 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,099 If you want to, bad enough. 59 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,699 I love it when we go real fast. 60 00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,199 And they never know what hit 'em. 61 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,299 They never believe we're going to run 'em down. 62 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,299 We keep getting closer and closer. 63 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,599 And faster and faster. 64 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,899 They're just standing there and yeah. 65 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,099 We hit them! 66 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,099 I love the sound of breaking bones! 67 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:55,199 The car driving over them, dragging their bodies. 68 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,699 All that beautiful blood! 69 00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,699 Slug! 70 00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:01,700 I want you, now. 71 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,200 Oh, Slug! 72 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,900 Oh, Slug! 73 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,900 Give it to me! Give it to me! More! More! 74 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,900 Get out of here, you pervert! 75 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,900 Or I'll kill ya! 76 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,199 Julie. Julie, the points. The rules, what are they? 77 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,699 Let me see if I can remember the whole list. 78 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:16,699 Now, Jews, whops, niggers and chinks, 79 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,200 they're all worth twenty-five points. 80 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,699 But Puerto Ricans, they're worth thirty points. 81 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:27,200 Now kids under twelve they're worth double points. 82 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,399 Skippy, don't forget your helmet. 83 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,400 OK, sis. 84 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:35,700 And be careful out there. 85 00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:41,700 Julie, does it count if I graze them? 86 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:49,400 You got to destroy them! Bozo, I want them dead. 87 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,399 Now we're gonna get 'em. 88 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,900 Come on. Come on! Come on! Where the fuck is everybody? Where the fuck is everybody? 89 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,399 How much is a kid on a bicycle? 90 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,400 Where? 91 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:14,200 Twenty-eight points if you get both the kid and the bike? 92 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,100 Let's take a closer look. 93 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,699 Oh, he a cute little boy, isn't he? 94 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:26,200 Out pretty late, aren't you, honey? 95 00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:31,199 The coast is clear, Bozo. 96 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,700 We got him! 97 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,700 We're gonna kill him! We're gonna get him! 98 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,399 Now you get full points! 99 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,900 No way! The kid's still moving! 100 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:14,200 We're not finished yet! 101 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:17,199 He's still moving, no way you get full points. 102 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,700 No way, huh? No way? I'll fucking show you no way. 103 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,700 Give me that! Gibe me that! 104 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,699 Full points, my man! 105 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:48,200 Look at him! Wow, oh my God! 106 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:59,000 These are gonna be the best shots we've ever taken. 107 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,000 Yeah, this is fun! 108 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,500 These are great! 109 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,000 Show me your pretty pictures! 110 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,500 That was good! That was good! 111 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,000 I want to do it again! I want to do it again! 112 00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:23,500 - Yeah, let's do it again! - Yeah, let's go for it again! 113 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,999 No, no I can't. I've got to go home. 114 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,000 What? 115 00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:30,500 Well, I got to get up early in the morning. 116 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,300 Got to go to church. 117 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:33,850 Oh! 118 00:10:39,048 --> 00:10:41,548 And up! Up! Up! Up! 119 00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:44,574 Now kick! Out! Out! Out! 120 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,000 Now arms up! Stop. Stop. 121 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,699 That's really pitiful. Just stop. Just stop a second. 122 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,699 Look how many times do I have to tell you people? 123 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:55,200 Do exactly what I do. 124 00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,499 If I kick my right foot, you kick your right foot. 125 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:01,299 If I kick my left foot, you kick your left foot. 126 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:04,399 Okay? Whatever I do, you do exactly the same thing. 127 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:08,400 Okay? Now how about we start again? You're gonna do exactly what I'm doing. 128 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,650 Okay guys, you know what I'm talking about? 129 00:11:10,651 --> 00:11:14,900 Let's go, let's do it this time. Okay! Let's get the music! 5, 6, 7, and hey, hey... 130 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,599 Watch what I'm doing here. Watch how I hit this ball. 131 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,600 Are you watching me!? Are you watching me!? 132 00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:45,185 I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it! I'm going to kill it! 133 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:49,900 Aah! I'm gonna kick that freak's mouth in! 134 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,499 Bozo, it's okay. It's okay. Hey, guys, come here. 135 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:59,000 Have I got a plan to fix that mop boys wagon. 136 00:11:59,355 --> 00:12:00,550 Great! What is it? 137 00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:02,541 Well... 138 00:12:07,447 --> 00:12:08,390 Hi, Melvin. 139 00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:10,000 Whoa! 140 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:13,924 Melvin. Melvin, it's okay. It's okay. 141 00:12:13,963 --> 00:12:20,000 Hey, I just came to apologize. Yes, I didn't mean to be so nasty yesterday. 142 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,999 Oh, that's okay, Julie. I didn't really mind. 143 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,499 In fact, I was hoping you could help me, 144 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,500 with a little problem. I've been having. 145 00:12:27,725 --> 00:12:29,999 - Who, me? - Yes but 146 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,000 I can't talk about here with all these people around. 147 00:12:33,507 --> 00:12:35,935 Hey, I got a great idea. 148 00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:38,112 Why don't you meet me in the girls locker room? 149 00:12:38,811 --> 00:12:40,569 Girls' locker room? 150 00:12:40,632 --> 00:12:44,500 Yes. Then we can discuss it alone. 151 00:12:44,992 --> 00:12:47,233 Oh, oh! 152 00:12:49,749 --> 00:12:51,233 Okay. 153 00:12:51,273 --> 00:12:53,280 Great! Let's say 7 o'clock. 154 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,434 Okay. That'll be good for me, too, 'cause I gotta to clean the toilets 155 00:12:56,449 --> 00:12:59,000 in there around that time anyway. 156 00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:01,499 Good. It's a date. See you then. 157 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,500 Okay. 158 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:13,490 490... 491... 492 159 00:13:15,391 --> 00:13:23,391 493... 494... 495... 160 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:28,213 Hi, guys. Well, Melvin fell for it. Hook line and sinker. 161 00:13:28,227 --> 00:13:29,227 Great! 162 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,499 We've been driving for two whole hours. 163 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,105 Let's pull this rig over and take a break. 164 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:42,511 Hey, the boss will have our asses. 165 00:13:42,527 --> 00:13:44,738 You know he don't want us to stop in habituated areas 166 00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:47,499 with this radioactive chemical waste we got on the back. 167 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:51,196 It's dangerous. It's like that cancerogenic stuff, you know. 168 00:13:51,227 --> 00:13:55,355 Hey Joey, you remember that dope we were snorting last week? 169 00:13:55,386 --> 00:13:59,652 - Do I? - Well, buddy boy. Check this out. 170 00:13:59,745 --> 00:14:01,499 Holy shit! Why didn't you say so. 171 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,500 Let's pull it over! 172 00:14:13,023 --> 00:14:14,023 Julie. 173 00:14:14,547 --> 00:14:17,902 - Hi, Melvin. - Hi, Julie. 174 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,941 Come in, don't be shy. 175 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:24,500 So, what was it that you wanted me to help you with? 176 00:14:24,879 --> 00:14:26,999 - Well, it's about Bozo. - Bozo? 177 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,999 Yeah, you see, I'm so sick of the way he goes around 178 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,499 pushing people around all the time. 179 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,499 He's so immature. 180 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:37,000 In fact, I don't like to go out with him any more. 181 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:40,500 But I don't know quite how to tell him. 182 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,499 In fact, Melvin, I think you're handsome, 183 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:53,500 and sensitive and kind. Oh, Melvin, I find you irresistible. 184 00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:57,000 - Me? - Yes. 185 00:14:57,721 --> 00:15:00,112 Melvin, I want to do it with you. 186 00:15:00,156 --> 00:15:00,877 Do it? 187 00:15:00,894 --> 00:15:01,784 Do it! 188 00:15:01,811 --> 00:15:02,642 Do what? 189 00:15:02,698 --> 00:15:03,999 Do it, Melvin, do it! 190 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,263 Do it? Okay. 191 00:15:07,622 --> 00:15:10,612 Wait a minute. Have I got a great idea, Melvin. 192 00:15:10,635 --> 00:15:11,619 What is it? 193 00:15:11,642 --> 00:15:13,000 We'll go down by the pool. 194 00:15:13,369 --> 00:15:15,807 And afterward we can take a cool dip. 195 00:15:16,346 --> 00:15:17,475 Alright. 196 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,741 There's one other little thing, Melvin. 197 00:15:21,452 --> 00:15:23,000 You're not wearing pink. 198 00:15:23,686 --> 00:15:26,500 - Pink? - It's my favourite colour. 199 00:15:27,161 --> 00:15:29,973 I have my pink on. 200 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,499 So, I brought this for you. 201 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:39,500 - But this is sissy stuff. - Oh, no, Melvin. Pink makes me so hot. 202 00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,000 - It does. - Yes. 203 00:15:42,534 --> 00:15:46,842 If you put on your pink, I'll take off my pink. 204 00:15:52,335 --> 00:15:56,500 - I love pink! - Hurry up, I'll be waiting for you. 205 00:15:58,176 --> 00:16:00,332 - And bring your mop. - I will! 206 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:26,499 - Julie? - Here I am, Melvin. 207 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:30,195 It's so dark in here, where are you? I can't see you 208 00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:34,000 I'm right here, Melvin. Come here. 209 00:16:34,718 --> 00:16:37,000 My lips are waiting for you, Melvin. 210 00:16:37,742 --> 00:16:40,232 Whoa, put your arms around me. 211 00:16:40,286 --> 00:16:44,326 Oh, Julie! Julie! Oh, Julie! I'm here! 212 00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:46,500 Okay! Turn on the light! 213 00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:50,915 You're so soft, Julie. 214 00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:51,928 Baaa. 215 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,320 Ooh! 216 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,608 Ooh, he doesn't look very good to me. 217 00:18:24,647 --> 00:18:25,889 Aaahh! 218 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,772 He's faking it, Julie! He's faking it. 219 00:18:34,952 --> 00:18:36,224 I think he's in trouble. 220 00:18:36,312 --> 00:18:39,312 Julie, this guy, if he can't take a joke, he stinks. 221 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,808 Get back! Get back! Step off! Get back! 222 00:18:45,855 --> 00:18:46,855 Get out of here! 223 00:18:47,381 --> 00:18:48,558 Easy, guy. 224 00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:07,697 Melvin's on fire! Melvin's on fire! 225 00:19:24,281 --> 00:19:27,021 Melvin, dear, are you alright? 226 00:19:28,882 --> 00:19:30,630 Is anything the matter? 227 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,311 God, my arms! Ow! Ow! 228 00:19:41,178 --> 00:19:42,399 Oh my feet! 229 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:48,392 Oh my God! Ahhhhhh! 230 00:20:21,546 --> 00:20:23,249 Aaahhh! 231 00:20:23,773 --> 00:20:25,394 Are you okay? 232 00:20:40,351 --> 00:20:42,284 Melvin, dear, are you alright? 233 00:21:21,045 --> 00:21:27,045 My little Melvin! He must have finally reached puberty. 234 00:21:27,890 --> 00:21:29,432 Grrrr! 235 00:21:43,523 --> 00:21:45,695 One. Two. 236 00:21:46,031 --> 00:21:48,952 Three. Four. Five. 237 00:21:48,999 --> 00:21:51,717 When we lay this wad on, old Clancy. 238 00:21:51,749 --> 00:21:54,439 The boss is going to have him by the balls. 239 00:21:55,923 --> 00:21:58,337 I don't think old Clancy will take the money. 240 00:21:58,392 --> 00:22:01,048 Everyone says he's an honest cop. 241 00:22:01,095 --> 00:22:05,460 If he don't take the dough, I'm gonna give him a blow. 242 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,210 Ha ha! 243 00:22:06,234 --> 00:22:08,476 A pair of knuckles. 244 00:22:13,528 --> 00:22:19,160 Well, if it ain't, Cigar Face. What are you and your friends up to? 245 00:22:19,356 --> 00:22:21,949 We brought you a little present from the boss. 246 00:22:22,105 --> 00:22:23,105 Here. 247 00:22:26,686 --> 00:22:29,893 No way. You're wasting your time. 248 00:22:29,909 --> 00:22:32,018 No. That's where you're wrong. 249 00:22:32,424 --> 00:22:34,000 You're wasting our time. 250 00:22:36,078 --> 00:22:38,078 Now we're going to waste you! 251 00:22:39,281 --> 00:22:40,281 Ow! 252 00:22:42,164 --> 00:22:47,012 Now you're going to find out why they call me Cigar Face. 253 00:22:50,460 --> 00:22:53,985 Aaahh! 254 00:22:58,507 --> 00:22:59,731 Get him Nipples, yeah! 255 00:23:08,867 --> 00:23:10,120 Come on, now. Come on! 256 00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:21,939 What the matter, Clancy? 257 00:23:25,656 --> 00:23:26,908 Get him! 258 00:23:37,523 --> 00:23:41,985 Honest cops are all alike! A bunch of fucking' faggots! 259 00:23:42,958 --> 00:23:46,141 What do you say, shall I blow his nose off or what? 260 00:23:46,413 --> 00:23:48,774 Boss says if he doesn't want to cooperate, 261 00:23:48,945 --> 00:23:51,467 we should make love to him. 262 00:23:52,366 --> 00:23:55,748 Well, whatever the boss says, goes. 263 00:23:56,780 --> 00:24:00,118 No... No, no, please! Please, oh God, please. 264 00:24:00,164 --> 00:24:03,615 No, no. No, please. Come on. I've got a family! 265 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,803 Say your prayers, copper! 266 00:24:14,437 --> 00:24:15,454 Holy shit! 267 00:24:40,037 --> 00:24:44,496 Could that be the, O'Shanahee boy back from school. 268 00:24:46,241 --> 00:24:47,293 No! No! 269 00:24:53,140 --> 00:24:54,640 Grrr! 270 00:25:00,405 --> 00:25:01,427 Ow! 271 00:25:02,163 --> 00:25:05,913 Aaahhh! 272 00:25:18,406 --> 00:25:21,796 Aaaahhhh! 273 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,390 Aaahhh! 274 00:26:19,992 --> 00:26:22,842 I'll get you for this, you monster faggot! 275 00:26:25,171 --> 00:26:27,522 Grrrr! 276 00:26:37,218 --> 00:26:39,260 Don't worry. Don't worry, I won't hurt you. 277 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:40,838 I don't know what came over me. 278 00:26:42,538 --> 00:26:45,038 I just couldn't control myself. 279 00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:47,478 I've never done anything like this before. 280 00:26:58,796 --> 00:26:59,796 Bye. 281 00:27:01,546 --> 00:27:02,546 Quiet! 282 00:27:03,529 --> 00:27:06,310 Quiet! 283 00:27:06,742 --> 00:27:13,690 Now, you will raise your hand and you will ask one question at a time. 284 00:27:14,219 --> 00:27:15,719 Exactly where did it happen? 285 00:27:15,921 --> 00:27:18,104 It happened in Shinbone Alley. 286 00:27:18,318 --> 00:27:20,318 These three guys were going to kill me, see. 287 00:27:20,327 --> 00:27:24,328 And then of nowhere comes this thing, this monster, 288 00:27:24,374 --> 00:27:26,601 I never seen anything like it before. 289 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,218 Because it took the three guys and threw them away. 290 00:27:30,310 --> 00:27:34,310 I don't know what it was but, but God bless him, 'cause he saved my life. 291 00:27:47,046 --> 00:27:48,453 Alright, boys. 292 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:50,600 Chief, what have you got? 293 00:27:51,803 --> 00:27:55,484 That alleyway was the most gruesome sight I have ever seen. 294 00:27:55,826 --> 00:27:57,140 Gruesome, huh? 295 00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:00,099 Have you ever met my mother-in-law? 296 00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:02,099 Now, that's gruesome 297 00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,266 What about Cigar Face? 298 00:28:03,279 --> 00:28:05,000 Have we gotten anything out of him yet? 299 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:08,099 He must still be in shock. All he does is sit around 300 00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:11,491 all day babbling about some seven foot monster. 301 00:28:11,515 --> 00:28:14,599 Yeah, and the only other clue we've got are those mops, 302 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,599 stuffed in their mouths. 303 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:21,115 Mops... It must be some sort of political statement. Do we have any suspects? 304 00:28:21,146 --> 00:28:26,068 Nah, the whole town is suspect. Knuckles and Nipples were hated by everyone. 305 00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:29,599 Not by me. They were our two best producers. 306 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaking of which, I almost forgot. 307 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,527 The boys made their rounds last night and here is the collection. 308 00:28:35,558 --> 00:28:37,600 Yeah, and it would've been double if it wasn't for this 309 00:28:37,615 --> 00:28:40,615 devastating tragic turn of events. 310 00:28:40,842 --> 00:28:41,842 Yeah. 311 00:29:35,287 --> 00:29:36,287 Aah! 312 00:29:39,818 --> 00:29:43,052 Slug, will you stop with that Elephant Man bullshit. 313 00:29:43,100 --> 00:29:48,732 I am not an animal. I'm Melvin, the mop boy. 314 00:29:57,100 --> 00:30:00,008 - Who is it? - It's me, Ma. Melvin. 315 00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:07,005 Aah! 316 00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:11,614 Ma? Ah, Ma! 317 00:31:20,928 --> 00:31:24,706 Tom. Tom, is he dead? 318 00:31:25,029 --> 00:31:26,213 Hey, Tom. 319 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:31,280 Yeah, over here. Tom, the zoning board has designated 320 00:31:31,304 --> 00:31:35,265 the old Rawlins Chemical Plant as the new toxic waste dump site. 321 00:31:36,100 --> 00:31:39,868 Now that's contaminated, but valuable waterfront property. 322 00:31:44,826 --> 00:31:48,826 We think it's a crime to let that property go to waste as a dump. 323 00:31:49,052 --> 00:31:52,311 You are aware, of course, that that would place our new toxic chemical dump 324 00:31:52,325 --> 00:31:55,147 just 20 feet from the reservoir for the entire area. 325 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,084 Gentlemen, I think we have a deal. 326 00:32:06,114 --> 00:32:09,172 Here to better living through chemistry. 327 00:32:31,716 --> 00:32:35,216 Mr. Fred! Mr. Fred, what's wrong with this thing!? 328 00:32:50,114 --> 00:32:51,191 Alright, everybody! 329 00:32:51,217 --> 00:32:53,793 Drop your tacos or I'll blow your brains out! 330 00:32:56,787 --> 00:32:58,673 Rico, get the cash register! 331 00:32:58,716 --> 00:33:00,658 Okay, you got it! 332 00:33:02,229 --> 00:33:03,893 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 333 00:33:04,412 --> 00:33:07,252 We are the entertainment for this afternoon. 334 00:33:07,373 --> 00:33:11,389 Now on shotgun, we've got my man Leroy. 335 00:33:12,467 --> 00:33:16,491 On cash register we've got magic fingers, Rico! 336 00:33:16,639 --> 00:33:17,639 That's me. 337 00:33:18,201 --> 00:33:21,905 And last but not least, yours truly Frank. 338 00:33:23,811 --> 00:33:24,866 On the stick. 339 00:33:27,561 --> 00:33:28,561 Shut up! 340 00:33:29,740 --> 00:33:32,049 Now if you all do just what we tell you, 341 00:33:32,069 --> 00:33:36,283 you just might, just might get your asses home all intact. 342 00:33:37,982 --> 00:33:42,916 Look who we got here! A little mother, and a littler baby. 343 00:33:44,232 --> 00:33:46,384 Do you like Mexican food, little baby? 344 00:33:47,219 --> 00:33:48,939 Well, How'd you like to have this hot tamale 345 00:33:48,970 --> 00:33:50,572 shoved down your throat? 346 00:33:53,186 --> 00:33:54,423 What are you looking at? 347 00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,860 Hey, Frank, teeny boppers! 348 00:34:00,609 --> 00:34:02,292 You like video games, teeny boppers? 349 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,698 Your mom give you quarters for video games? 350 00:34:04,986 --> 00:34:06,135 Well, cough them up! 351 00:34:07,508 --> 00:34:10,008 Hey, this one's cute, Frank. 352 00:34:10,118 --> 00:34:12,473 Look how cute she is, Frank. 353 00:34:12,493 --> 00:34:14,246 Say, Leroy, I think she likes you. 354 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:23,825 Hey, why don't you leave her alone? 355 00:34:26,259 --> 00:34:28,169 We'll give you our money, if you want money. 356 00:34:29,055 --> 00:34:31,345 Hey, look, pal, why don't you just let everyone go 357 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,360 and keep me as a hostage, huh? 358 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:34,400 Huh? 359 00:34:34,642 --> 00:34:36,830 That's an idea, ain't It it, Frank? 360 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:38,791 - Yeah. - No, thanks. 361 00:34:50,633 --> 00:34:53,409 Shut up! It was self defence. 362 00:34:56,502 --> 00:35:00,186 Yo, Leroy, check out this pretty little thing, 363 00:35:00,767 --> 00:35:02,802 and the bitch got a dog. 364 00:35:04,353 --> 00:35:07,342 Hey, wait a minute. I think this bitch is blind. 365 00:35:07,540 --> 00:35:09,568 Are you sure she is blind, Frank? 366 00:35:13,056 --> 00:35:15,201 Yeah, the bitch is blind. 367 00:35:15,454 --> 00:35:15,998 Ow! 368 00:35:16,196 --> 00:35:18,447 Hey, what are you doing? Don't do that! 369 00:35:18,461 --> 00:35:19,461 Let go of me! 370 00:35:20,900 --> 00:35:23,735 Yo, Leroy, you want to walk this damn dog! 371 00:35:24,673 --> 00:35:25,844 Yeah, sure, Frank. 372 00:35:30,111 --> 00:35:31,111 Gary? 373 00:35:33,142 --> 00:35:35,767 Harry! What have you done to my dog? 374 00:35:35,789 --> 00:35:37,720 I didn't do anything to the dog, but listen... 375 00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:39,310 Gary! Gary! 376 00:35:39,334 --> 00:35:40,756 You wanna meet my friend, Ben? 377 00:35:40,763 --> 00:35:43,243 We's make everything alright. Just let me introduce you to Ben. 378 00:35:43,388 --> 00:35:44,450 Ben who!? 379 00:35:44,462 --> 00:35:46,462 Ben Dover! 380 00:35:49,775 --> 00:35:54,775 Hey, Leroy, you know I always did want to corn hole me a blind bitch. 381 00:35:54,947 --> 00:35:55,947 Ow! 382 00:35:56,180 --> 00:35:57,527 I'm going to enjoy this! 383 00:36:02,110 --> 00:36:04,090 Yeah, it's going to be nice. 384 00:36:06,009 --> 00:36:07,394 What the shit!? 385 00:36:21,970 --> 00:36:23,697 Okay, you motherfucker! 386 00:36:26,900 --> 00:36:29,580 Aah! Aahh! 387 00:39:26,290 --> 00:39:29,710 No, no, no! We were only kidding! 388 00:39:30,165 --> 00:39:32,640 What's the matter? You can't take a joke? 389 00:39:33,095 --> 00:39:34,705 We were only kidding. 390 00:39:34,728 --> 00:39:37,000 Please, no! You can't do this to me! 391 00:39:40,196 --> 00:39:43,113 No! Please! Please, stop it! 392 00:39:43,156 --> 00:39:45,993 Stop, no! No! 393 00:39:46,266 --> 00:39:48,391 No! We were, we were only kidding! 394 00:40:02,592 --> 00:40:05,264 Grrr! Grrrrr! 395 00:40:31,509 --> 00:40:34,967 Please, please don't touch me! 396 00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:36,900 Please! 397 00:40:36,901 --> 00:40:39,900 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you. 398 00:40:40,212 --> 00:40:41,212 Are you okay? 399 00:40:41,337 --> 00:40:44,837 Yes, I think so. My dog! 400 00:40:45,181 --> 00:40:48,923 Those men killed my dog! They shot my dog! 401 00:40:49,477 --> 00:40:51,836 Could you take me out of here, please? 402 00:40:53,860 --> 00:40:58,102 Please. I'll never make it by myself without my dog. 403 00:40:58,125 --> 00:40:59,125 Please. 404 00:40:59,243 --> 00:41:03,400 Okay, alright, but come on, let's go out the back way. 405 00:41:03,767 --> 00:41:07,093 Hey, don't worry, I won't hurt you. Come on, I'll help you up. 406 00:41:33,994 --> 00:41:36,481 - Don't trip over the step, Melvin. - What? 407 00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:40,434 I'd better get my cane. 408 00:41:45,384 --> 00:41:46,484 Why don't you have a seat? 409 00:41:46,516 --> 00:41:47,876 There's a place for you on your left. 410 00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:48,900 Right over there. 411 00:41:48,907 --> 00:41:49,937 Ow! 412 00:41:50,251 --> 00:41:51,751 Would like you like something to eat? 413 00:41:51,900 --> 00:41:52,900 Uh-huh. 414 00:41:52,901 --> 00:41:54,661 Is peanut butter and jelly, okay? 415 00:41:54,696 --> 00:41:55,696 Uh-huh. 416 00:41:55,759 --> 00:41:56,759 Good. 417 00:41:57,903 --> 00:41:58,903 Grr! 418 00:41:59,236 --> 00:42:01,262 Now, boys, what have we got here? 419 00:42:02,205 --> 00:42:04,954 Looks like we got a nice crispy taco supreme over here, chief. 420 00:42:08,150 --> 00:42:11,027 Looks like I got a a strawberry thick shake over here. 421 00:42:13,126 --> 00:42:14,126 What have you got? 422 00:42:14,181 --> 00:42:16,363 I've got a pizza with the works to go, Jimmy. 423 00:42:17,267 --> 00:42:21,267 Chief, it was unbelievable. It had an eye up over here, 424 00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:23,650 His nose was twisted to the side. 425 00:42:23,931 --> 00:42:24,595 Huh? 426 00:42:24,632 --> 00:42:27,041 It was the strangest thing I ever saw in my life. 427 00:42:27,055 --> 00:42:30,570 Sure. But it was a pink elephant, too. 428 00:42:30,610 --> 00:42:33,007 I'm telling ya, these guys were going to kill us. 429 00:42:33,312 --> 00:42:36,820 It saved our lives. It was a hero. 430 00:42:36,837 --> 00:42:38,121 A hero! 431 00:42:40,243 --> 00:42:41,379 This guy is drunk. 432 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,471 Would you mind if I touched your face? 433 00:42:47,493 --> 00:42:48,068 No! 434 00:42:48,094 --> 00:42:52,010 No? Why not? I won't hurt you, Melvin. 435 00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:56,540 It's not that. It's just that I have a rash on my face. 436 00:42:56,548 --> 00:42:58,978 A rash? You mean acne? 437 00:42:59,001 --> 00:43:02,055 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it. It's nothing to worry about 438 00:43:02,056 --> 00:43:03,899 but I wouldn't want you to touch it. 439 00:43:03,900 --> 00:43:06,399 You shouldn't be ashamed of acne. 440 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,399 Everybody's had acne at one time or another. 441 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,794 Hey, I know. Would you like me to tell your fortune? 442 00:43:12,837 --> 00:43:13,513 Huh? 443 00:43:13,556 --> 00:43:16,130 I read palms. Give me your hand. 444 00:43:19,300 --> 00:43:21,558 What big hands you have. 445 00:43:22,246 --> 00:43:24,105 I bet you're very strong. 446 00:43:24,725 --> 00:43:27,399 Hmm. Let me see. You're going to have 447 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,899 a lot of good things coming too you in the future. 448 00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:33,900 You're going to become a very important man. 449 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,496 Let me see your other hand. 450 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:40,344 Grr? Grrrrr! 451 00:43:41,461 --> 00:43:43,969 Oops! Sorry. 452 00:43:51,870 --> 00:43:53,683 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 453 00:43:53,917 --> 00:43:57,079 With us this afternoon is, Dr. Mertyn Snodberger 454 00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,899 from the Garden State State Cerebral Reflex Research Center. 455 00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:03,072 Ah, can you tell me, sir, 456 00:44:03,088 --> 00:44:06,400 is it true that the monster only attacks bad people? 457 00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:12,377 Ja. Ja. Since only bad, evil people have been destroyed 458 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:17,900 by the monster, I would have to answer your question. Ja. 459 00:44:18,321 --> 00:44:21,504 From traces that have been found on the scenes 460 00:44:21,527 --> 00:44:25,899 of the crime, and analysed, we have determined 461 00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:29,399 that whatever it is, this monster has been exposed 462 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,461 to toxic chemical waste. 463 00:44:33,103 --> 00:44:34,570 Achoo! 464 00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:44,399 It is also highly probable that this monster may 465 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:48,399 have developed a very basic instinct which draws him, 466 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:54,628 or should I say, commands him to destroy evil. 467 00:45:12,845 --> 00:45:15,636 That new camera really captures the moment! 468 00:45:15,704 --> 00:45:20,042 I know. The reds are so red! Really get me hot! 469 00:45:31,908 --> 00:45:32,698 Mr. Mayor? 470 00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:33,260 Yeah? 471 00:45:33,274 --> 00:45:37,274 I got todays receipts from the drug division. Ha ha! 472 00:45:37,734 --> 00:45:40,234 Good boy, Dennis. Put it over there on the table. 473 00:45:40,384 --> 00:45:41,902 Bookie will get to it later. 474 00:46:04,439 --> 00:46:05,743 Grr! 475 00:46:05,744 --> 00:46:06,744 Aahhh! 476 00:46:27,641 --> 00:46:30,317 Grrr! 477 00:48:11,086 --> 00:48:13,162 Listen, you asshole, how many times are you going to 478 00:48:13,178 --> 00:48:14,716 pull that Elephant Man joke? 479 00:48:17,312 --> 00:48:19,112 - Grrr! - Aahhh! 480 00:48:31,595 --> 00:48:33,525 Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass! 481 00:48:41,634 --> 00:48:45,634 This monster may have developed a very basic instinct, 482 00:48:45,673 --> 00:48:48,637 to destroy evil. 483 00:48:49,220 --> 00:48:51,395 Hey, you! In the alley! 484 00:48:51,407 --> 00:48:57,160 Hey, knucklehead! How about some nice young poontang, huh? 485 00:48:57,189 --> 00:49:01,051 No! No, take me home! No, take me home! 486 00:49:01,062 --> 00:49:02,980 No, you lied to me! 487 00:49:03,024 --> 00:49:06,077 You said you were going to take me to see the David Bowie concert! 488 00:49:06,117 --> 00:49:07,905 He's not David Bowie! 489 00:49:09,101 --> 00:49:13,765 Only twelve years old, and only twelve dollars! 490 00:49:18,486 --> 00:49:20,866 Boys! Boys! Help! 491 00:49:24,944 --> 00:49:27,444 Help, boys! Help! 492 00:49:32,712 --> 00:49:33,712 Aaahh! 493 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,127 And you can tell all your scum friends that things 494 00:50:02,141 --> 00:50:04,432 are going to change in this town! 495 00:50:04,610 --> 00:50:06,315 I'm not just another pretty face! 496 00:50:07,142 --> 00:50:08,768 Grrr! 497 00:50:33,246 --> 00:50:36,305 Two prime candidates. 498 00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:37,543 Yeah. 499 00:50:37,751 --> 00:50:39,473 Rack 'em up! 500 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:42,772 Grrr! 501 00:50:50,220 --> 00:50:52,220 - Wow! - Wow! 502 00:50:53,517 --> 00:50:57,129 Grrr! 503 00:51:00,409 --> 00:51:01,409 504 00:51:12,279 --> 00:51:14,286 505 00:51:18,258 --> 00:51:19,258 Aahh! 506 00:51:54,532 --> 00:51:56,532 I hear the monster is so big. 507 00:51:56,548 --> 00:51:59,031 Well, I bet he's got his eye on me. 508 00:51:59,149 --> 00:52:01,702 For your information, everyone knows Monster Prefer Blondes! 509 00:52:01,728 --> 00:52:04,315 There's a feeling going around town that this monster 510 00:52:04,322 --> 00:52:06,269 is here to protect the people. 511 00:52:06,509 --> 00:52:09,362 And the jail's are becoming overcrowded. 512 00:52:09,368 --> 00:52:13,058 This monster has cleaned the streets of every criminal. 513 00:52:13,142 --> 00:52:18,141 Almost all the criminals. He hasn't gotten us yet. 514 00:52:18,142 --> 00:52:20,570 What the hell are we going to do about this monster, eh? 515 00:52:20,587 --> 00:52:23,374 I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to kill him. 516 00:52:23,470 --> 00:52:28,227 Because if we don't kill him, he's going to kill us. 517 00:52:32,517 --> 00:52:33,242 Grrr! 518 00:52:33,291 --> 00:52:36,560 I owe you for the other night, monster faggot! 519 00:52:36,625 --> 00:52:37,872 Grrr! 520 00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:44,591 So now we're going to give you six new assholes, 521 00:52:44,681 --> 00:52:47,467 compliments of me, Cigar Face! 522 00:52:48,273 --> 00:52:49,488 Grrr! 523 00:52:57,422 --> 00:52:58,922 Grr! 524 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:06,677 Boom! You should've seen it! His teeth was everywhere! 525 00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:08,720 They looked like Chiclets! 526 00:53:09,352 --> 00:53:11,647 Hey, what are you doing, blondie? 527 00:53:11,936 --> 00:53:13,436 I'm waiting for my boyfriend. 528 00:53:13,618 --> 00:53:14,890 She's waiting for her boyfriend. 529 00:53:14,914 --> 00:53:17,723 Well, maybe I'm going to be your boyfriend, baby! 530 00:53:18,376 --> 00:53:21,637 Hey, stop that! My boyfriend won't like that! 531 00:53:21,688 --> 00:53:24,927 Maybe we'll have to take care of that wimp of a boyfriend, huh? 532 00:53:25,663 --> 00:53:26,663 Melvin! Melvin! 533 00:53:26,899 --> 00:53:27,701 Melvin! 534 00:53:27,728 --> 00:53:28,833 Melvin!? 535 00:53:28,900 --> 00:53:29,900 Melvin! 536 00:53:30,327 --> 00:53:33,274 Yeah, Melvin. What's up, guys? 537 00:53:34,220 --> 00:53:36,855 Aah! 538 00:53:53,610 --> 00:53:58,240 Why, Melvin, you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person. 539 00:54:00,189 --> 00:54:05,505 You're so muscular. It's been two years since I touched a man. 540 00:54:09,158 --> 00:54:14,228 What are you doing to me? I've never felt like this before. 541 00:56:11,086 --> 00:56:12,150 Murderer! 542 00:56:12,313 --> 00:56:14,642 - Aaahhh! - Grrrrrr! 543 00:56:17,220 --> 00:56:19,303 I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget! 544 00:56:19,333 --> 00:56:20,959 Aaahh! 545 00:56:35,714 --> 00:56:36,378 No! 546 00:56:36,420 --> 00:56:37,720 Sorry, madam. 547 00:56:46,103 --> 00:56:49,440 Open up please, open up! 548 00:56:50,610 --> 00:56:54,610 Help me! Oh, please open up! Help me! 549 00:56:57,891 --> 00:56:58,891 Grrr! 550 00:56:58,899 --> 00:57:01,182 Aaahh! 551 00:57:01,649 --> 00:57:02,682 Going up? 552 00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:08,725 Let me out Let me out! Please, someone help me! 553 00:57:09,266 --> 00:57:10,764 Aaahh! 554 00:57:13,299 --> 00:57:15,299 Aaahhh! 555 00:58:22,540 --> 00:58:27,401 Aah! She's stressing me, Slug! Julie is stressing me, Slug! 556 00:58:27,415 --> 00:58:29,448 I can't take it! I cannot take this, Slug! 557 00:58:29,650 --> 00:58:31,467 She's not here with car and I've got to drive. 558 00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:33,022 I gotta drive, Slug! I gotta drive! 559 00:58:33,023 --> 00:58:34,944 Alright, already. Alright. Will you chill out? 560 00:58:40,648 --> 00:58:44,896 Hey, how would you like to be behind the wheel 561 00:58:44,922 --> 00:58:47,239 of a beautiful Japanese import? 562 00:58:50,322 --> 00:58:52,094 Oh, that would be good! 563 00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:58,033 Hi, can we help? 564 00:58:58,188 --> 00:58:59,680 Oh, you sure can. 565 00:59:01,033 --> 00:59:04,032 Thank you so much. Oh, it's so nice to have you 566 00:59:04,033 --> 00:59:06,410 boys like you here in the neighbourhood. 567 00:59:07,673 --> 00:59:09,941 Aahh! 568 00:59:10,533 --> 00:59:11,533 Aahhh! 569 00:59:12,603 --> 00:59:16,331 Oh, what a feeling, today! 570 00:59:26,533 --> 00:59:29,532 Did you see her face when I punched her? 571 00:59:29,533 --> 00:59:31,760 I beat that old lady like a dog! 572 00:59:34,033 --> 00:59:35,755 Slug, there's that thing again! 573 00:59:37,736 --> 00:59:38,903 Let's get it! 574 00:59:46,282 --> 00:59:48,295 Shit! he's on the roof! He's on the roof! 575 00:59:48,782 --> 00:59:50,647 Get him off! He's going to kill both of us! 576 00:59:51,416 --> 00:59:53,615 Swerve the car, Bozo! Swerve the car! 577 00:59:55,056 --> 00:59:56,783 I can't control the car! 578 01:00:03,337 --> 01:00:05,445 He's still there, swerve it again! Swerve it again! 579 01:00:13,033 --> 01:00:15,533 I can't get him off the car, Slug! I can't get him off! 580 01:00:20,149 --> 01:00:21,649 Slug, I'm going to die! 581 01:00:22,063 --> 01:00:24,631 Take the wheel, Slug! Take the wheel! 582 01:00:25,218 --> 01:00:26,618 I'm stressed! 583 01:00:27,033 --> 01:00:28,033 Ah, what? 584 01:00:29,220 --> 01:00:30,220 What? 585 01:00:30,869 --> 01:00:33,722 Aaaahhh! 586 01:00:37,611 --> 01:00:39,111 Get out of here! 587 01:00:44,468 --> 01:00:45,468 No! 588 01:00:49,805 --> 01:00:51,502 See how you like this face, huh, Bozo? 589 01:00:51,649 --> 01:00:54,260 You know who this is? It's Melvin, that's who it is! 590 01:01:17,533 --> 01:01:20,069 Hey, hey, hey, what about the kid on the bike, Bozo? 591 01:01:20,127 --> 01:01:22,627 How does it feel to hit a kid on a bike? Feels good! 592 01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:26,891 I've got problems! I've got problems! I'm a stressed person! 593 01:01:31,951 --> 01:01:32,951 No, no! 594 01:02:10,900 --> 01:02:12,159 Give me the wheel! 595 01:02:15,033 --> 01:02:17,580 Just give me the wheel! You'll going to kill both of us! 596 01:02:19,782 --> 01:02:23,782 You want the wheel? Here, take the wheel! 597 01:02:25,517 --> 01:02:29,640 Aaahhh! 598 01:02:30,751 --> 01:02:34,948 Grrr! Ha ha! 599 01:03:35,533 --> 01:03:37,954 Yoohoo! Mr. Wilson! 600 01:03:38,033 --> 01:03:40,063 Mrs Haskel, how are you? 601 01:03:40,173 --> 01:03:41,392 Fine, thank you. 602 01:03:41,424 --> 01:03:42,924 How are the boys? 603 01:03:43,212 --> 01:03:46,860 Those boys are such terrors. Especially Scott. 604 01:03:46,978 --> 01:03:50,219 He took his best girl out last night and he came home 605 01:03:50,252 --> 01:03:53,039 with these stains, all over his pants. 606 01:03:53,649 --> 01:03:55,281 I don't know what they are. 607 01:03:55,647 --> 01:03:56,858 I don't either. 608 01:03:56,883 --> 01:03:58,383 Do you think you can get them out? 609 01:04:00,071 --> 01:04:03,571 My car! They're putting a ticket on my car! 610 01:04:03,829 --> 01:04:06,497 Mrs. Haskel, don't move. Don't' move. Stay right where you are. 611 01:04:06,515 --> 01:04:07,380 I'll be right back. 612 01:04:07,397 --> 01:04:10,717 You can't give me a ticket! You can't give me a ticket! I have to go to a funeral... 613 01:04:13,782 --> 01:04:15,734 Hey, who do you think you're pushing? 614 01:04:17,149 --> 01:04:18,242 What do you want? 615 01:04:18,906 --> 01:04:21,726 Stay away from me! Stay away from me! 616 01:04:21,735 --> 01:04:25,663 Help! Help! Help! Help! 617 01:04:25,700 --> 01:04:29,710 Stay away from me! Stay away from me! Help! 618 01:04:30,087 --> 01:04:32,087 Help! Help! 619 01:04:32,579 --> 01:04:33,579 What the...? 620 01:04:35,766 --> 01:04:38,053 Put me down! I didn't do anything! 621 01:04:44,822 --> 01:04:46,879 No Dickie here. No washie. 622 01:04:57,353 --> 01:05:01,353 Please, don't give me a ticket! Please, don't give me a ticket! 623 01:05:06,502 --> 01:05:09,502 Okay, Mrs. Haskel, let's see what we can do with these stains. 624 01:05:09,533 --> 01:05:13,408 Mrs. Haskel. Mrs. Haskel, what are you doing back there? 625 01:05:13,509 --> 01:05:16,098 You know customers are not allowed on that machine. 626 01:05:17,017 --> 01:05:18,517 Mrs. Haskel. 627 01:05:20,032 --> 01:05:21,410 Aah! 628 01:06:06,673 --> 01:06:08,742 Melvin, is that you? 629 01:06:12,775 --> 01:06:14,078 Melvin? 630 01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:19,974 Who's there? 631 01:06:21,613 --> 01:06:22,837 Who is that? 632 01:06:35,286 --> 01:06:38,286 It's me, Sarah. Only me. 633 01:06:39,027 --> 01:06:42,215 You scared me. Is something wrong? 634 01:06:42,245 --> 01:06:44,245 Everything is wrong. 635 01:06:44,996 --> 01:06:46,996 What the matter? What have I done? 636 01:06:47,090 --> 01:06:51,090 No, it's not what you've done. It's what I've done. 637 01:06:51,278 --> 01:06:53,278 I think I'm out of control. 638 01:06:53,333 --> 01:06:57,230 You see, you're blind, Sara. You don't know who I am. 639 01:06:58,333 --> 01:07:01,832 I'm really the monster hero you heard about. 640 01:07:01,833 --> 01:07:04,833 And everyday I go out and I mash people. 641 01:07:04,925 --> 01:07:07,425 I tear them apart and I can't stop. 642 01:07:07,903 --> 01:07:09,215 You better move back to your apartment. 643 01:07:09,239 --> 01:07:10,749 I don't think its safe for you to be around me. 644 01:07:10,770 --> 01:07:15,792 Oh, Melvin. I couldn't leave you now. I love you, Melvin. 645 01:07:17,855 --> 01:07:20,355 I wish we could go somewhere. 646 01:07:20,833 --> 01:07:25,433 Yeah, some far away place. Where there are no people. 647 01:07:25,463 --> 01:07:27,879 Where I can't kill anybody. 648 01:07:27,934 --> 01:07:30,934 What about that spot near Millers farm that you told me about? 649 01:07:31,333 --> 01:07:33,332 Where you used to go to be alone. 650 01:07:33,333 --> 01:07:35,675 You said that was a very special place. 651 01:07:35,698 --> 01:07:39,180 Well, we could try it. 652 01:07:40,333 --> 01:07:42,832 Do you think I look inconspicuous enough? 653 01:07:42,833 --> 01:07:45,333 I'll feel better when we get to the campsite. 654 01:07:48,090 --> 01:07:49,229 Mayor, Mayor! 655 01:07:49,262 --> 01:07:52,262 Chief, look. Our monster made a little bit of a mistake. 656 01:07:52,699 --> 01:07:54,699 You can't go around dry cleaning little old ladies 657 01:07:54,739 --> 01:07:56,739 the public won't stand for it. 658 01:07:56,833 --> 01:07:58,989 We can kill him now with no flack from anybody. 659 01:07:58,996 --> 01:08:01,434 Nein, nein. Bad news, Mayor, 660 01:08:01,833 --> 01:08:05,059 That old lady was hardly a pillar of the community. 661 01:08:05,114 --> 01:08:09,331 In fact, she can a head of an international white slavery ring. 662 01:08:09,332 --> 01:08:09,708 Shit... 663 01:08:09,879 --> 01:08:12,450 And she had a police record a mile long. 664 01:08:12,973 --> 01:08:14,131 We've got to cover this up. 665 01:08:14,333 --> 01:08:16,553 If it ever gets out to the press we're sunk. 666 01:08:16,582 --> 01:08:19,651 And I want you to do me a favour. Kill that bastard for me! You got it? 667 01:08:19,666 --> 01:08:20,219 Kill him! 668 01:08:20,255 --> 01:08:21,755 Yes, mein fuhrer. Mein mayor! 669 01:08:22,333 --> 01:08:24,833 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. 670 01:08:25,091 --> 01:08:27,591 Mayor Peter Bellgoode will now take questions 671 01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:29,784 from the ladies and gentlemen of the press. 672 01:08:33,629 --> 01:08:34,837 Uh, Miss Fink. 673 01:08:35,168 --> 01:08:38,667 What your administration stance in regards to this alleged monster? 674 01:08:38,668 --> 01:08:40,168 Is he a menace or a miracle? 675 01:08:40,552 --> 01:08:43,552 He's definitely a menace, Miss Fink. Right now there's a massive 676 01:08:43,567 --> 01:08:47,554 search underway to find the thing and destroy it. 677 01:08:48,833 --> 01:08:50,332 Yes, Mr. Leonard? 678 01:08:50,333 --> 01:08:52,332 Instead of trying to kill him, shouldn't we be trying 679 01:08:52,333 --> 01:08:55,163 to capture him, bring him in, study him? 680 01:08:55,186 --> 01:09:00,145 It is not a human being. It is an it. You kill an it. 681 01:09:00,293 --> 01:09:01,449 Mr. Mayor. Mr. Mayor. 682 01:09:01,473 --> 01:09:02,300 Yes, Mr. Williams? 683 01:09:02,488 --> 01:09:05,745 The victim killed in the dry cleaners, Mrs, ah, Haskel. 684 01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:07,808 What's her background? What do we know about her? 685 01:09:07,832 --> 01:09:11,332 Mrs. Haskel was a member of our community for over 30 years. 686 01:09:11,833 --> 01:09:15,832 Also a member of the PTA. She had two fine sons. 687 01:09:15,833 --> 01:09:17,577 Everyone that know her, loved her. 688 01:09:17,957 --> 01:09:20,639 Question! Question! Are you certain, Mr. Mayor, 689 01:09:20,655 --> 01:09:22,449 that the chief Himmel and the police department 690 01:09:22,473 --> 01:09:24,412 can handle the situation in Tromaville? 691 01:09:24,452 --> 01:09:27,833 I have the utmost regard for the chief, and his department. 692 01:09:28,239 --> 01:09:30,239 As I've said, he's conducting a massive search 693 01:09:30,254 --> 01:09:31,754 for the monster right now. 694 01:09:32,067 --> 01:09:35,567 I want this thing found and I want this thing killed! 695 01:09:35,833 --> 01:09:38,832 The mayor has notified the governor and he's prepared 696 01:09:38,833 --> 01:09:41,332 to give us all the assistance we need. 697 01:09:41,333 --> 01:09:43,332 Should we break out the heavy weapons? 698 01:09:43,333 --> 01:09:44,333 Come on, boys. 699 01:09:44,334 --> 01:09:46,832 I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for the monster! 700 01:09:46,833 --> 01:09:50,332 Don't you think you're being a bit hasty? 701 01:09:50,333 --> 01:09:54,332 Clancy, you will do as you're told or you'll find yourself 702 01:09:54,333 --> 01:09:57,333 walking a beat in the city dump! 703 01:09:57,356 --> 01:10:02,356 Now I want this thing shot and I want you to shoot to kill! 704 01:10:02,653 --> 01:10:06,326 That monster saved my life. He's done a lot of good for this town. 705 01:10:06,340 --> 01:10:08,340 Why are they going to kill him? 706 01:10:08,723 --> 01:10:11,223 We should speak out! Do something! 707 01:10:11,239 --> 01:10:13,239 Roy, why don't you do something! Speak out! 708 01:10:13,528 --> 01:10:15,700 You want me to speak up? If I speak up, 709 01:10:15,716 --> 01:10:18,810 I lose my business license. If I lose my business license, 710 01:10:18,833 --> 01:10:21,332 I'm dead. Do you want another shake? 711 01:10:21,333 --> 01:10:24,333 No! I want them not to kill the monster. 712 01:10:24,528 --> 01:10:26,028 I want us to do something! 713 01:10:26,333 --> 01:10:28,832 Listen, Johnny, you're just a kid. 714 01:10:28,833 --> 01:10:31,832 People can't go around doing things just because they're right. 715 01:10:31,833 --> 01:10:33,832 We have to leave these decisions up to the mayor 716 01:10:33,833 --> 01:10:35,832 - and the police chief. - That's right. 717 01:10:35,833 --> 01:10:37,832 But why would the mayor want to destroy something 718 01:10:37,833 --> 01:10:40,833 that does more good than the entire police force? 719 01:10:42,333 --> 01:10:43,832 No offence. 720 01:10:43,833 --> 01:10:46,832 I know how you feel, Johnny, he saved my life too. 721 01:10:46,833 --> 01:10:50,832 But us, little guys, are just not qualified to make these decisions. 722 01:10:50,833 --> 01:10:53,332 That's why he's the mayor. 723 01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:55,333 Right? 724 01:10:58,333 --> 01:11:01,833 We're gonna find that bastard, now. Come on. Come on, girl! 725 01:11:01,860 --> 01:11:02,860 Heel. Come on. 726 01:11:02,964 --> 01:11:05,594 My first day on the force and I'm chasing monsters! 727 01:11:11,333 --> 01:11:12,892 The dogs got a scent! 728 01:11:18,083 --> 01:11:20,832 I'm missing the ball game for this bullshit! 729 01:11:20,833 --> 01:11:22,332 We ain't going to find no monster out here, 730 01:11:22,333 --> 01:11:25,832 all we're going to find is a bunch of mosquitoes biting my fucking' asshole! 731 01:11:25,833 --> 01:11:27,833 Shut your fucking' mouth! 732 01:11:28,098 --> 01:11:29,884 Hold on a second, I think I see something. 733 01:11:29,902 --> 01:11:31,025 You don't see nothing but a couple 734 01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:33,832 of campers humping each other. Come on, let's go home! 735 01:11:33,833 --> 01:11:35,832 Holy shit! It's the monster! 736 01:11:35,833 --> 01:11:36,833 Oh, sure! 737 01:11:36,834 --> 01:11:38,333 And he's got a bimbo with him! 738 01:11:38,833 --> 01:11:40,332 Oh, he's got your Mama with him! 739 01:11:40,333 --> 01:11:42,833 And she's wearing a bikini! Wow! 740 01:11:42,855 --> 01:11:44,355 Wait, let me see! 741 01:11:44,833 --> 01:11:47,766 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 742 01:11:49,833 --> 01:11:53,064 Come on, let's go tell the chief! I'm going to get me a medal for this! 743 01:11:53,071 --> 01:11:54,736 Mayor! Mayor! Mayor! 744 01:11:55,653 --> 01:11:58,814 The monster has been sighted in a field near Miller farm. 745 01:11:58,833 --> 01:11:59,833 That's wonderful! 746 01:11:59,834 --> 01:12:02,832 I'll have the National Guard meet us out there in full force. 747 01:12:02,833 --> 01:12:03,583 You leave now! 748 01:12:03,714 --> 01:12:04,714 Ja! 749 01:12:05,333 --> 01:12:08,333 Hello, Mr. Governor, how are you, sir? 750 01:12:08,794 --> 01:12:11,332 Fine, just fine. 751 01:12:11,333 --> 01:12:15,265 Governor, I need your help, sir. 752 01:12:15,294 --> 01:12:18,054 It's about this monster that's been terrorizing my town. 753 01:12:18,294 --> 01:12:21,859 The local authorities can no longer handle the situation. 754 01:12:23,231 --> 01:12:24,766 That's why I need your help. 755 01:12:25,627 --> 01:12:27,344 The National Guard? 756 01:12:27,833 --> 01:12:30,633 I was hoping you'd say that, so we can kill it. 757 01:12:33,441 --> 01:12:38,314 Capture it? Well, I was thinking the very same thing. 758 01:12:38,794 --> 01:12:43,294 Yes, capture would be fine. Uh-huh. Well, thank you, Governor. 759 01:12:43,763 --> 01:12:46,763 Talk to you soon. Goodbye, sir. 760 01:12:50,161 --> 01:12:52,157 Capture, my ass! 761 01:13:07,597 --> 01:13:10,273 I don't like the way this is going Sargent. 762 01:13:10,293 --> 01:13:11,793 I know. 763 01:13:11,833 --> 01:13:14,172 The little people think he's done a lot for this town. 764 01:13:19,606 --> 01:13:23,995 Oh, my God! They're calling in the National Guard! 765 01:13:24,034 --> 01:13:26,332 Oh, look at all those men! 766 01:13:26,333 --> 01:13:27,832 Oh, I hope they don't hurt the monster. 767 01:13:27,833 --> 01:13:30,300 Monster, they aught to give him a medal, not kill him. 768 01:13:34,833 --> 01:13:38,733 They're going to nuke him! They're going to nuke the monster! 769 01:13:45,333 --> 01:13:48,333 - They found the monster! - He's at the Miller Farm! 770 01:13:48,364 --> 01:13:49,609 They're going to kill him! 771 01:13:49,668 --> 01:13:52,640 Holy cow! We can't let him die! 772 01:13:54,129 --> 01:13:56,129 Let's go! 773 01:14:42,214 --> 01:14:43,214 Out of the way! 774 01:14:43,761 --> 01:14:44,786 Stand aside. 775 01:14:44,831 --> 01:14:47,778 Tent's in the clearing, Mayor. My troops have it surrounded. 776 01:14:47,808 --> 01:14:49,098 We think he's still asleep. 777 01:14:49,376 --> 01:14:52,182 Fine, we'll move in and wipe him out. 778 01:14:52,394 --> 01:14:55,399 You can't do that, Mayor. I've rechecked with headquarters 779 01:14:55,416 --> 01:14:57,592 They want us to take him alive, not kill him. 780 01:14:57,593 --> 01:14:59,589 Your in charge, Pete. Come on, give the orders! 781 01:14:59,604 --> 01:15:02,837 Mr.mayor, please, please, think of what you are doing! 782 01:15:03,385 --> 01:15:05,197 There's an innocent girl in there with him! 783 01:15:06,440 --> 01:15:08,221 Just one life for the whole town! 784 01:15:08,401 --> 01:15:10,213 But, Mr Mayor, you don't understand! 785 01:15:10,298 --> 01:15:12,369 He saved my life! He doesn't deserve to die! 786 01:15:12,408 --> 01:15:13,205 Shut up! 787 01:15:13,253 --> 01:15:16,253 Now you don't understand the seriousness of this situation here, boy! 788 01:15:16,362 --> 01:15:20,362 How dare you discuss my son's life or death like this. 789 01:15:20,800 --> 01:15:23,382 I'm Melvin's mother. He's a good boy. 790 01:15:23,831 --> 01:15:25,679 He's never hurt anybody! 791 01:15:27,776 --> 01:15:32,586 Silence! Silence! The orders have been given! 792 01:15:33,143 --> 01:15:36,471 It is our destiny to follow the orders! 793 01:15:46,143 --> 01:15:50,019 You in the tent, come out with your hands up! 794 01:15:50,112 --> 01:15:51,472 You are surrounded! 795 01:15:52,550 --> 01:15:53,605 Grrr? 796 01:15:55,651 --> 01:15:57,373 The minute he comes out, kill him. 797 01:15:59,698 --> 01:16:01,206 - I'm coming with you. - No, you're not. 798 01:16:01,230 --> 01:16:02,467 You've got to stay here. 799 01:16:02,499 --> 01:16:07,056 No, I can't let you do it! He's a hero. I can't let you do it! I can't let you do it! 800 01:16:07,081 --> 01:16:09,581 Don't shoot him! Don't shoot! 801 01:16:09,605 --> 01:16:12,378 If you want to shoot my son, you'll have to shoot me first! 802 01:16:20,539 --> 01:16:22,961 Okay, lads. Get these kids out of there! 803 01:16:24,831 --> 01:16:26,831 It's okay, Mum. Kids. 804 01:16:26,854 --> 01:16:27,854 Shoot it! 805 01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:29,416 Run! Run! Grrr! 806 01:16:29,901 --> 01:16:30,901 Fire! 807 01:16:30,933 --> 01:16:33,294 No, I won't do it. 808 01:16:33,394 --> 01:16:35,039 These kids are right. 809 01:16:40,510 --> 01:16:42,047 Captain, have your men fire! 810 01:16:42,065 --> 01:16:43,344 No, I can't. 811 01:16:43,628 --> 01:16:45,128 Shoot them! You shoot! 812 01:16:51,597 --> 01:16:52,418 Fire! 813 01:16:52,425 --> 01:16:53,457 Melvin! 814 01:16:53,479 --> 01:16:54,979 Alright, I'll do it myself! 815 01:16:55,251 --> 01:16:56,317 No! 816 01:16:56,956 --> 01:16:59,435 You touch me again and I'll kill you! 817 01:17:18,065 --> 01:17:19,509 Get away from me! 818 01:17:21,238 --> 01:17:22,564 Get away from me! 819 01:17:24,253 --> 01:17:27,158 No! Ah, get away from me! 820 01:17:27,440 --> 01:17:29,587 Leave me alone! Look, I'll make you a deal! 821 01:17:29,940 --> 01:17:32,041 I'll give you 10%, anything, just leave alone! 822 01:17:32,158 --> 01:17:32,921 Grr! 823 01:17:32,924 --> 01:17:35,429 Don't hurt me! I'm too young to die! 824 01:17:35,463 --> 01:17:36,963 Please don't hurt me! 825 01:17:36,979 --> 01:17:39,913 Please! 826 01:17:40,995 --> 01:17:43,834 You fat slob, let's see if you have any guts! 827 01:17:45,955 --> 01:17:48,955 Aaahhh! 828 01:17:59,815 --> 01:18:04,321 Officer O'Clancy, take care of this toxic waste. 829 01:18:07,839 --> 01:18:09,042 Melvin! 830 01:18:09,433 --> 01:18:10,433 Sarah! 831 01:18:10,541 --> 01:18:11,541 Melvin! 832 01:18:11,557 --> 01:18:12,557 Sara! 833 01:18:12,675 --> 01:18:14,183 Melvin! Ah! 834 01:18:14,432 --> 01:18:15,574 Sarah! 835 01:18:15,596 --> 01:18:16,723 Melvin! 836 01:18:16,956 --> 01:18:18,270 Sarah! 837 01:18:18,333 --> 01:18:19,453 Melvin? 838 01:18:20,059 --> 01:18:21,059 Sarah! 839 01:18:44,331 --> 01:18:48,331 So, Melvin, the monster hero, rid Tromaville of all of it's evils, 840 01:18:48,338 --> 01:18:51,906 so the good citizens could live their lives in peace and happiness. 841 01:18:53,128 --> 01:18:55,992 And the next time you're in danger or in need to help, 842 01:18:56,345 --> 01:19:00,226 look to the horizon and maybe, just maybe... 843 01:19:01,542 --> 01:19:04,125 The Toxic Avenger will be there. 61790

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