Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,958 --> 00:00:03,571
- Will: Wow.
- Grace: What?
2
00:00:03,615 --> 00:00:04,793
Will: It's just so weird,
you know?
3
00:00:04,836 --> 00:00:06,973
It's-- it's exactly
four years ago today
4
00:00:07,017 --> 00:00:10,156
that I moved into this office,
and here I am closing it down.
5
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,595
It is weird.
6
00:00:12,642 --> 00:00:14,038
It's also wrong.
7
00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:17,047
You moved
in the height of summer.
8
00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:18,355
Remember, the window was open
and we thought it smelled
9
00:00:18,399 --> 00:00:20,273
like wet wool on a dead man.
10
00:00:23,152 --> 00:00:25,376
Ah, yes, the new scent
by Decay-NY.
11
00:00:28,342 --> 00:00:30,042
- I gotta go.
- Alright.
12
00:00:32,528 --> 00:00:35,188
- You seem okay.
- I am, I think.
13
00:00:35,231 --> 00:00:37,847
You know, it just seems like
something's missing.
14
00:00:37,892 --> 00:00:39,505
What is it?
Oh, right! My career.
15
00:00:41,031 --> 00:00:43,778
[chuckles]
Hey, okay. Maybe this'll help.
16
00:00:43,822 --> 00:00:45,916
No matter how bad you're doing,
17
00:00:45,959 --> 00:00:49,012
chances are
Jack's doing much worse.
18
00:00:49,055 --> 00:00:50,320
Huge promotion!
19
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,285
Grace: Mm.
20
00:00:53,329 --> 00:00:54,855
Ow!
21
00:00:56,687 --> 00:00:57,951
You crushed my nose.
22
00:00:59,478 --> 00:01:02,182
Sorry! If it's broken
we'll get it fixed.
23
00:01:03,185 --> 00:01:04,754
For the second time.
24
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,159
I heard that, you bitch.
25
00:01:12,648 --> 00:01:15,831
And this nose
has never been touched.
26
00:01:15,874 --> 00:01:17,314
I'm sorry, ma'am,
you can pick up your fries
27
00:01:17,357 --> 00:01:18,709
at the next window.
28
00:01:23,462 --> 00:01:25,687
Guess what, I've been promoted
29
00:01:25,730 --> 00:01:27,954
to captain
at my catering company.
30
00:01:27,997 --> 00:01:32,184
And tonight I'm supervising
an event at the Waldorf Astoria.
31
00:01:32,228 --> 00:01:34,321
- Mm.
- I'll have eight men under me.
32
00:01:34,365 --> 00:01:35,324
How great is that?
33
00:01:35,368 --> 00:01:36,676
[chuckles]
34
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,246
- Eight men?
- What'd you do?
35
00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:39,642
Write the
Gay Make A Wish Foundation?
36
00:01:44,002 --> 00:01:46,837
Could you just once reach into
that cold black heart of yours
37
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,756
and say,
"Congratulations, handsome?"
38
00:01:49,584 --> 00:01:52,288
Hey, handsome, look around.
39
00:01:52,332 --> 00:01:55,078
I'm closing down my office.
I've lost all my clients.
40
00:01:55,122 --> 00:01:57,521
So you'll forgive me if I'm not
jumping up and down for joy
41
00:01:57,564 --> 00:01:59,353
because you've now made
head butter curler.
42
00:02:01,271 --> 00:02:04,891
FYI, you S-O-B,
cater-waitering is T-U-F...
43
00:02:09,862 --> 00:02:11,432
F.
44
00:02:13,743 --> 00:02:15,967
Oh, tough.
Yes, I know.
45
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,322
All those years
at waiter grad school,
46
00:02:18,366 --> 00:02:20,328
the lectures,
the all-nighters.
47
00:02:20,372 --> 00:02:22,072
All to answer
the eternal question
48
00:02:22,116 --> 00:02:24,471
that has plagued mankind
since the dawn of consciousness:
49
00:02:24,515 --> 00:02:25,867
"Chicken or fish?"
50
00:02:28,177 --> 00:02:31,536
Listen, mister,
and I use the term loosely.
51
00:02:33,411 --> 00:02:35,678
You couldn't do my job
for even one night.
52
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:36,943
Jack, a monkey could
do your job
53
00:02:36,987 --> 00:02:38,294
providing he had a tux
and a lisp.
54
00:02:44,008 --> 00:02:45,447
Then put your money
where your mouth is.
55
00:02:45,491 --> 00:02:47,801
I'm short a man tonight.
I dare you to fill in for him.
56
00:02:47,845 --> 00:02:49,327
- Alright, I'll do it.
- Hah!
57
00:02:49,371 --> 00:02:50,897
See, you're afraid because
you know you can't hack it.
58
00:02:51,988 --> 00:02:53,776
Jack, I just said I'd do it.
59
00:02:57,875 --> 00:02:59,227
What just happened?
60
00:03:00,884 --> 00:03:03,980
You challenged me
and I accepted your challenge.
61
00:03:04,024 --> 00:03:06,291
Besides, it sounds like it'll be
more fun than sitting at home
62
00:03:06,335 --> 00:03:08,951
watching Regis say,
"Is that your final answer?"
63
00:03:13,792 --> 00:03:17,150
Okay, fine. Be at the Waldorf
at 5:00 sharp and rent a tux.
64
00:03:17,194 --> 00:03:19,068
- I have a tux.
- No, you don't. I borrowed it.
65
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:23,037
[theme music]
66
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,942
Well, this is one consumer who
is not gonna take responsibility
67
00:03:34,986 --> 00:03:37,384
for something
that is clearly your fault.
68
00:03:37,428 --> 00:03:38,737
[sighs]
69
00:03:41,396 --> 00:03:42,617
Karen.
70
00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:46,978
- Karen!
- Yeah, I'm up, I'm up!
71
00:03:47,022 --> 00:03:48,679
Stan, get off of me!
72
00:03:53,782 --> 00:03:54,959
Where am I?
73
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:59,494
Karen, you are at work.
74
00:03:59,537 --> 00:04:01,543
It's 10:30 in the morning
75
00:04:01,587 --> 00:04:03,419
and because you seem to believe
76
00:04:03,462 --> 00:04:06,689
that fabric can be sent
over phone lines...
77
00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:11,312
I now owe this guy 150 bucks
78
00:04:11,356 --> 00:04:12,620
for a service call.
79
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,498
Oh, my God.
80
00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:16,894
It's 10:30!
81
00:04:16,938 --> 00:04:18,507
Honey, why'd you let me sleep
so late?
82
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:20,339
I gotta get out of here.
83
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,878
There's a needle
full of botulism
84
00:04:25,921 --> 00:04:27,884
with my forehead's name
written all over it.
85
00:04:27,927 --> 00:04:29,104
[laughs]
86
00:04:32,331 --> 00:04:34,555
What are you lookin' at,
rogaine failure?
87
00:04:37,564 --> 00:04:38,611
Nothing, I-- I'm sorry.
88
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,660
Good. Okay.
89
00:04:40,704 --> 00:04:42,666
Be back at 4:00... ish.
90
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,815
- Wow!
- Yeah.
91
00:04:48,859 --> 00:04:50,167
She usually
doesn't come back.
92
00:04:51,780 --> 00:04:53,525
What's it like working with her?
93
00:04:53,569 --> 00:04:55,269
I wouldn't know.
94
00:04:57,842 --> 00:05:00,590
Oh, I love her, I-- I've seen
her movie "Next to Godliness"
95
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,596
like, uh, 15 times.
96
00:05:02,639 --> 00:05:05,910
[chuckles]
Oh. She's never been in a movie.
97
00:05:05,953 --> 00:05:07,175
Well, when I first saw her
I wasn't sure,
98
00:05:07,218 --> 00:05:08,962
but then, you know,
the-- the voice...
99
00:05:09,006 --> 00:05:10,837
[chuckles]
It's definitely her.
100
00:05:10,881 --> 00:05:13,672
No. You must have her confused
with someone else.
101
00:05:13,716 --> 00:05:16,594
It happens. People confuse me
with Julia Roberts all the time.
102
00:05:18,382 --> 00:05:20,039
Why?
103
00:05:23,484 --> 00:05:25,970
Well, the hair, the smile,
104
00:05:26,842 --> 00:05:28,761
and uh...
[clears throat]
105
00:05:30,461 --> 00:05:32,118
"I'm just a girl...
106
00:05:33,906 --> 00:05:35,563
"standing in
front of a boy...
107
00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:38,878
asking him to love me."
108
00:05:41,102 --> 00:05:43,021
Trust me. That is dead on.
109
00:05:44,852 --> 00:05:46,640
You trust me, that's her.
110
00:05:46,683 --> 00:05:49,169
Just rent "Next to Godliness."
111
00:05:49,213 --> 00:05:50,914
You'll find it
in the adult section.
112
00:05:53,138 --> 00:05:55,187
Adult?
113
00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:57,412
Adult like Merchant Ivory,
114
00:05:57,455 --> 00:05:59,679
or adult like...
115
00:05:59,722 --> 00:06:03,081
gee, thank God
you two plumbers arrived.
116
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,709
That one.
117
00:06:09,752 --> 00:06:11,410
[instrumental music]
118
00:06:14,811 --> 00:06:17,776
The napkin fold du jour
will be winter cranes.
119
00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:19,129
And mind the beaks!
120
00:06:19,172 --> 00:06:21,222
Sidebar, how Madonna is this?
121
00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:26,847
- Hey, Jack.
- Don't hey me! You're late!
122
00:06:26,891 --> 00:06:28,722
I'm sorry,
but I had to rent a tux
123
00:06:28,766 --> 00:06:30,685
and the old guy measuring me
had the shakes,
124
00:06:30,728 --> 00:06:32,778
so the inseam situation
was not pleasant for me.
125
00:06:34,871 --> 00:06:36,223
Just get in line.
126
00:06:36,267 --> 00:06:37,793
Good news, gentlemen.
127
00:06:37,836 --> 00:06:39,755
Since Mr. Truman
has deigned to grace us
128
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,457
with his presence,
129
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,550
we now have enough waiters
to do ballet service.
130
00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:48,956
Ballet service, huh? What does
that make you, the Nutcracker?
131
00:06:51,748 --> 00:06:53,841
Truman, front and center.
132
00:06:55,193 --> 00:06:56,850
Ma'am! Yes, ma'am!
133
00:06:59,205 --> 00:07:01,472
Damn it, Will,
when we're being friends,
134
00:07:01,516 --> 00:07:02,694
it's fine to treat me like crap
135
00:07:02,737 --> 00:07:04,001
but I will not have you
ruining this event
136
00:07:04,045 --> 00:07:05,397
and undermining my authority.
Is that clear?
137
00:07:05,441 --> 00:07:07,316
- Okay, okay.
- Uh, wait.
138
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,845
Yeah, mm-hm. Yes. Yeah. Oh!
139
00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:12,331
Do I have to do
everything around here?
140
00:07:12,375 --> 00:07:14,031
Look, I'm-- I'm-- I'm breaking
in a rookie right now.
141
00:07:14,075 --> 00:07:15,646
- I don't have time for games.
- Jack!
142
00:07:15,689 --> 00:07:17,956
I'm talking to the kitchen...
143
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,962
Get me the thing
that this plugs into.
144
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,664
[instrumental music]
145
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:31,562
Karen: This room is a pigsty.
And you're a dirty pig boy.
146
00:07:31,606 --> 00:07:33,655
- Man 1: But, mommy--
- Karen: Don't mommy me!
147
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,360
Here's what happens
to dirty pig boys.
148
00:07:36,403 --> 00:07:37,755
[whip cracks]
149
00:07:40,589 --> 00:07:42,202
Oh! Sorry, I'm late.
150
00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:45,474
Oh, God,
that sounded insincere.
151
00:07:45,517 --> 00:07:47,217
I'm late. [laughs]
152
00:07:49,399 --> 00:07:50,881
Honey, what, what's going on?
153
00:07:50,925 --> 00:07:52,277
What's happening?
What's with the TV?
154
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,198
Oh, I'm watching
what I would call...
155
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:57,117
the feel-good movie of my life.
156
00:07:59,429 --> 00:08:01,391
Did you rent
"Pretty Woman" again?
157
00:08:03,222 --> 00:08:04,836
Come on. Give it up, honey.
158
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,103
The only thing you two have
in common is horse teeth
159
00:08:07,147 --> 00:08:08,892
and bad taste in men. [laughs]
160
00:08:10,636 --> 00:08:12,642
[chuckles]
Hm.
161
00:08:12,685 --> 00:08:14,517
Karen: You're a filthy little
piggy! [whip cracks]
162
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,000
[gasps]
163
00:08:25,507 --> 00:08:27,687
Ooh!
164
00:08:27,730 --> 00:08:29,387
Karen.
165
00:08:29,431 --> 00:08:30,783
[chuckles]
166
00:08:30,826 --> 00:08:33,268
Something you want to tell me?
167
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:34,970
[chuckles] That's not me.
168
00:08:35,013 --> 00:08:36,451
[laughs]
169
00:08:36,496 --> 00:08:38,196
Karen: What's going on, honey?
What's happening?
170
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,853
Karen: Why aren't you
licking that floor?
171
00:08:41,816 --> 00:08:44,388
Oh, alright, it is me!
But it's not what you think.
172
00:08:44,432 --> 00:08:48,270
Really, 'cause I think
it's you in a maid's uniform,
173
00:08:48,313 --> 00:08:50,930
whipping some old guy
in a onesie. Am I wrong?
174
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,640
Come on, it's just
a little fetish film.
175
00:08:55,684 --> 00:08:57,907
Oh, my God, how did this thing
get into circulation?
176
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,352
Oh, my God.
177
00:09:01,396 --> 00:09:03,141
This is the end of me.
178
00:09:03,184 --> 00:09:05,234
I don't think I can go on.
179
00:09:05,277 --> 00:09:07,501
- Karen, what are you doing?
- No, don't stop me!
180
00:09:07,544 --> 00:09:09,071
Karen, don't be ridiculous!
181
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:11,121
There we go, nice and cold.
182
00:09:28,957 --> 00:09:29,916
Oh, boy.
183
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,879
- Just one question.
- Yeah.
184
00:09:31,922 --> 00:09:34,277
Is dirty little pig boy
the other white meat?
185
00:09:34,321 --> 00:09:35,585
Uh..
186
00:09:37,504 --> 00:09:39,379
Come on, spill it.
187
00:09:39,423 --> 00:09:42,301
Well, I was just out of college,
I was broke.
188
00:09:42,345 --> 00:09:44,132
It's the oldest story
in the world.
189
00:09:44,176 --> 00:09:48,231
Boy meets girl, boy wants girl
to do dominatrix film.
190
00:09:48,276 --> 00:09:50,805
Girl says, "Naked?" Boy says,
"Yeah." Girl says, "Forget it."
191
00:09:50,849 --> 00:09:53,072
Boy says, "Okay, then just wear
this rubber dress
192
00:09:53,116 --> 00:09:54,555
and beat the old guy
with a scrub brush."
193
00:09:54,598 --> 00:09:55,994
Girl says, "How hard?"
194
00:10:03,146 --> 00:10:05,675
Yes, that is an old story.
195
00:10:06,809 --> 00:10:08,379
No, no. No.
196
00:10:08,423 --> 00:10:10,429
You don't take that tone
with me, no. [laughing]
197
00:10:10,472 --> 00:10:13,132
It's enough that I'm gonna be
the laughingstock of Manhattan,
198
00:10:13,176 --> 00:10:15,225
but now to have you
throwing this in my face
199
00:10:15,269 --> 00:10:17,275
and laughing at me like that?
200
00:10:17,318 --> 00:10:19,107
No. That's it.
201
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:22,116
- I'm outta here.
- Oh, Karen, come on.
202
00:10:22,159 --> 00:10:23,816
I was just making a joke.
[laughs]
203
00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:24,906
Oh, yeah?
204
00:10:24,951 --> 00:10:26,912
Well, I have
a little joke for you.
205
00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:28,351
Knock, knock...
206
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,314
I'm not there.
207
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,279
[instrumental music]
208
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:38,643
Ready, spaghetti, sauce.
209
00:10:38,687 --> 00:10:42,089
And we're moving, we're moving,
and pace, pace, pace.
210
00:10:42,132 --> 00:10:43,702
And serpentine around the room,
211
00:10:43,745 --> 00:10:45,621
and elbows in
and show those teeth.
212
00:10:45,664 --> 00:10:48,498
Now snake, now snake.
Now snake once more.
213
00:10:48,543 --> 00:10:49,720
Hey, hey! Watch the jazz hips.
214
00:10:49,763 --> 00:10:51,203
We aren't doing
"Starlight Express" here.
215
00:10:52,729 --> 00:10:54,429
Okay, now, eyes up.
216
00:10:54,473 --> 00:10:58,485
Working as one,
releve and release.
217
00:10:58,528 --> 00:11:01,014
Very nice. Very ni..
I'm very proud of all of you.
218
00:11:01,058 --> 00:11:02,715
Not bad for a rookie, huh?
219
00:11:02,759 --> 00:11:04,503
I'm not really looking
for new friends.
220
00:11:06,771 --> 00:11:08,341
Well, you're not really
getting one.
221
00:11:10,739 --> 00:11:12,483
Oh, my God!
It's show time, fellas. Places.
222
00:11:12,527 --> 00:11:13,748
Alright, we got
just a couple of minutes
223
00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:15,492
before ABBA gets here.
224
00:11:15,536 --> 00:11:17,498
ABBA? The band?
225
00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:19,200
That's all we need
is more dancing queens!
226
00:11:21,118 --> 00:11:22,296
No, Will,
it's spelled differently.
227
00:11:22,339 --> 00:11:23,778
There's only one B. A-B-A.
228
00:11:23,822 --> 00:11:25,566
The ABA?
229
00:11:25,609 --> 00:11:28,182
That's the
American Bar Association!
230
00:11:28,227 --> 00:11:30,101
Oh, good.
Bartenders are such a fun crowd.
231
00:11:30,145 --> 00:11:34,157
No! Jack, the ABA is lawyers!
I'm gonna know all these people.
232
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,904
Would you relax? No one's gonna
recognize you in uniform.
233
00:11:36,948 --> 00:11:39,128
Oh, right, 'cause this tea towel
over my arm changes
234
00:11:39,172 --> 00:11:41,134
the way my face looks!
235
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,617
I'm going.
You're not going anywhere.
236
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,623
I can't do ballet service
with an odd number of men.
237
00:11:44,666 --> 00:11:46,455
Then do it
with a number of odd men.
238
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:48,330
Oh, my God! Look!
239
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,681
These people are my colleagues.
240
00:11:49,725 --> 00:11:51,164
Do you know how humiliating
this is gonna be?
241
00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:53,345
Say hello to the hard part.
Serving food is easy.
242
00:11:53,389 --> 00:11:54,522
Keeping your dignity
when you're peppering
243
00:11:54,566 --> 00:11:56,223
Matt Damon's salad
is what's hard.
244
00:11:56,266 --> 00:11:58,142
- Why Matt Damon?
- He has my career.
245
00:11:59,668 --> 00:12:02,154
- I see. Goodbye.
- No, Will.
246
00:12:02,197 --> 00:12:03,942
I know this is a rough time
for you, okay?
247
00:12:03,985 --> 00:12:06,732
But you've had your success.
This is my turn.
248
00:12:06,776 --> 00:12:09,828
So you decide. You gonna be a
friend or are you going to bail?
249
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:14,495
[grunts]
250
00:12:18,027 --> 00:12:19,467
[sighs]
251
00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:21,428
Huh? Oh. Hors d'oeuvre?
252
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:26,313
Will Truman?
253
00:12:27,752 --> 00:12:29,278
Brian Kelly.
[chuckles]
254
00:12:29,322 --> 00:12:30,674
What is with the outfit?
255
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,156
You look like
you should be serving us.
256
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,116
And I don't mean papers.
257
00:12:33,159 --> 00:12:35,427
[laughs]
258
00:12:35,470 --> 00:12:39,002
[chuckles] Me, a waiter?
Are you kidding?
259
00:12:39,047 --> 00:12:41,271
Excuse me, I asked for
one crab cake, not a whole tray.
260
00:12:43,451 --> 00:12:46,939
So, Brian Kelly.. [chuckles]
261
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,861
Uh, it was funny,
just the other day
262
00:12:49,905 --> 00:12:52,347
I was thinking, uh, wa-- wasn't
it, what was it, what was..
263
00:12:52,391 --> 00:12:54,135
I was reading um, uh-- uh,
a maga..
264
00:12:54,179 --> 00:12:55,443
I-- I-- I'm doing some
close-up magic later.
265
00:12:55,487 --> 00:12:56,795
Don't tell anybody.
266
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:04,819
[instrumental music]
267
00:13:06,127 --> 00:13:08,264
Hello?
268
00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:10,227
Yeah. What can I do for..
269
00:13:10,270 --> 00:13:11,230
[sighs]
270
00:13:11,273 --> 00:13:13,454
Well, looky, looky, loo.
271
00:13:13,497 --> 00:13:15,983
[laughs]
Karen Delaney, right?
272
00:13:16,026 --> 00:13:18,294
How long has it been?
20 years?
273
00:13:18,338 --> 00:13:20,518
Age has done nothing to you.
274
00:13:20,562 --> 00:13:22,306
Yeah, well, it's whacked you
in the face
275
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:24,443
with a shovel and left you
for dead! You look like hell.
276
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,719
Honey, I need a favor.
[chuckles]
277
00:13:32,161 --> 00:13:34,254
Okay, just to confirm
everybody's entrees
278
00:13:34,299 --> 00:13:38,092
there are two steak, two salmon
and one big fat chicken.
279
00:13:38,136 --> 00:13:39,575
- That'd be me.
- Great.
280
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,709
- Fresh pepper for you?
- That'd be fine, pal.
281
00:13:40,752 --> 00:13:42,977
- Terrific.
- Ow!
282
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:44,590
- Okay.
- How about an apology?
283
00:13:44,634 --> 00:13:45,680
I'm really sorry.
284
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,206
Not you, Will.
285
00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:48,559
I was talking
to Dr. Pepper here.
286
00:13:48,602 --> 00:13:49,779
[chuckles]
287
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,227
I'm so sorry, sir.
Fresh pepper for ya?
288
00:13:54,271 --> 00:13:56,233
- No, thank you.
- Okay, very good.
289
00:13:56,277 --> 00:13:57,455
Ow!
290
00:14:01,118 --> 00:14:02,950
You just tell me
how many of those tapes
291
00:14:02,993 --> 00:14:04,476
there are
and how I could get 'em back.
292
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,830
Oh, yeah. I can get
that information just like that.
293
00:14:06,874 --> 00:14:09,839
Alright, just let me e-mail
headquarters first, alright?
294
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,278
Boop, boop, boop,
boop, boop, boop.
295
00:14:11,322 --> 00:14:13,983
[laughs]
296
00:14:14,026 --> 00:14:16,948
I have no friggin' idea!
297
00:14:16,992 --> 00:14:18,954
I mean we made like 50
and then you know sold them
298
00:14:18,998 --> 00:14:20,524
to video stores
all over Manhattan.
299
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:24,100
All over Man..
You lowlife!
300
00:14:24,143 --> 00:14:28,068
Listen, I've built a big life
for myself and now it's ruined.
301
00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:30,685
I'm sorry, Karen.
302
00:14:30,728 --> 00:14:33,214
My bad. [chuckles]
303
00:14:33,257 --> 00:14:36,616
Now, how about a little,
you know, kissarooni
304
00:14:36,659 --> 00:14:38,533
for old times sake, huh?
305
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,238
How can you
even ask me that?
306
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,200
You double-crossing,
conniving..
307
00:14:43,244 --> 00:14:45,337
Uh..
308
00:14:45,380 --> 00:14:47,212
- Oh..
- Ah. You see?
309
00:14:47,256 --> 00:14:49,349
See, you couldn't hit me,
could you?
310
00:14:49,392 --> 00:14:51,181
That's because
deep inside of you,
311
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,491
the flame of passion
is still alive.
312
00:14:54,713 --> 00:14:57,286
Now, come on, hot stuff.
313
00:14:57,329 --> 00:14:59,859
How about that kiss, hm?
Hm, hm, hm?
314
00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:06,182
You think I would let my
bare hand touch that face?
315
00:15:10,892 --> 00:15:12,898
God only knows
where it's been.
316
00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:15,514
[instrumental music]
317
00:15:21,227 --> 00:15:24,192
- I just left you a message.
- No, no. Don't even start.
318
00:15:24,235 --> 00:15:26,241
I quit.
319
00:15:26,286 --> 00:15:28,727
Why? 'Cause I saw you
in one lousy movie?
320
00:15:28,772 --> 00:15:32,784
No, Grace, because the balance
of power has shifted between us.
321
00:15:35,094 --> 00:15:37,493
You used to put me on a pedestal
322
00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:40,022
and look at me like I was
some kind of a superwoman...
323
00:15:41,898 --> 00:15:45,997
the epitome of everything
that's good and decent and true.
324
00:15:47,916 --> 00:15:50,401
Um... okay.
325
00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:54,195
But now when you look at me,
all you're gonna see
326
00:15:54,238 --> 00:15:56,027
is the woman in that video.
327
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:57,727
A bossy, domineering harpy
328
00:15:57,770 --> 00:16:00,126
who uses her body
to get what she wants.
329
00:16:02,568 --> 00:16:05,490
You're right.
That is a pretty profound shift.
330
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,112
Yeah. So I quit.
331
00:16:11,812 --> 00:16:14,473
I'm just gonna clean out
my desk and leave.
332
00:16:19,706 --> 00:16:21,189
There. I'm out of here.
333
00:16:23,979 --> 00:16:26,988
If you need me
I'll be in seclusion,
334
00:16:27,033 --> 00:16:31,480
suffering in the dark silence of
my Park Avenue mansion of shame,
335
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,704
shame, shame on me.
336
00:16:35,972 --> 00:16:38,021
Karen. Uh, wait.
337
00:16:38,066 --> 00:16:41,292
You... you might wanna
take this.
338
00:16:41,336 --> 00:16:42,731
- What's that?
- Oh.
339
00:16:42,775 --> 00:16:46,045
It's just... all 50 copies
of "Next to Godliness."
340
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,528
Oh, my..
341
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,970
Honey, how did you.. [gasps]
342
00:16:50,014 --> 00:16:54,069
I've been in every
sleazy video store in Manhattan.
343
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:56,381
I went into rooms
Bob Guccione wouldn't go into
344
00:16:56,424 --> 00:16:58,125
without a hazmat suit.
345
00:17:00,044 --> 00:17:02,922
I had to weave through
icky boxes with titles like...
346
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,062
"Drive This, Miss Daisy..."
347
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:11,208
"Diddler on the Roof..."
348
00:17:13,301 --> 00:17:15,001
"The Ass Menagerie."
349
00:17:16,877 --> 00:17:18,141
Oh!
350
00:17:18,185 --> 00:17:20,802
So... you never have to worry
351
00:17:20,845 --> 00:17:22,328
about anyone seeing this again.
352
00:17:22,372 --> 00:17:23,462
[sighs]
353
00:17:23,505 --> 00:17:24,988
And I will look at
you the same way
354
00:17:25,031 --> 00:17:26,514
I always have...
355
00:17:27,866 --> 00:17:30,483
as a spoiled, shrill,
gold-digging socialite
356
00:17:30,526 --> 00:17:32,096
who would sooner
chew off her own foot
357
00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:33,796
than do an honest day's work.
358
00:17:37,373 --> 00:17:39,073
Oh, honey, I love ya.
359
00:17:42,911 --> 00:17:44,699
Okay, honey,
that's enough. God!
360
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,490
When is your video coming out?
361
00:17:51,284 --> 00:17:54,075
[instrumental music]
362
00:17:54,118 --> 00:17:56,822
Oh, I am starving.
What's with these monkeys?
363
00:17:56,865 --> 00:17:59,133
Who do I have to sleep with
to get my steak?
364
00:17:59,177 --> 00:18:00,747
Take your pick.
365
00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:04,846
Hey, pepper boy!
Where's my dinner?
366
00:18:06,198 --> 00:18:07,637
I'm sorry for the delay, sir.
367
00:18:07,681 --> 00:18:09,425
We're a little shorthanded
this evening.
368
00:18:09,469 --> 00:18:10,777
One of my waiters bailed on me
369
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:12,216
because he has
a weak constitution
370
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:13,525
and is filled
with fear and shame.
371
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,490
I don't think
I asked for your life story.
372
00:18:16,534 --> 00:18:18,103
I just wanna piece of meat.
373
00:18:18,147 --> 00:18:19,411
Don't we all? [chuckles]
374
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:25,037
I mean, I'm sure you do.
Please be patient.
375
00:18:25,081 --> 00:18:26,694
Be patie.. Whoa, you coppin'
an attitude with me?
376
00:18:26,738 --> 00:18:28,002
Whoa, whoa, Brian,
take it easy.
377
00:18:28,046 --> 00:18:29,267
No, Will, listen to this guy.
378
00:18:29,311 --> 00:18:31,142
This nobody's
taking a tone with me.
379
00:18:31,186 --> 00:18:32,625
No, well,
there's-- there's no tone.
380
00:18:32,669 --> 00:18:35,198
He's just doing his job,
which is not easy, by the way.
381
00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:37,814
Oh, yeah, it's real hard.
He puts rolls in a basket.
382
00:18:39,341 --> 00:18:41,564
Good idea, sir. Why don't
I get you some more bread?
383
00:18:41,609 --> 00:18:43,047
Whoa, no, no, no, we're not
finished here. Hang on a second.
384
00:18:43,090 --> 00:18:44,879
Hang on a second.
Where the hell is my steak?
385
00:18:44,922 --> 00:18:46,579
Alright, that's it.
Take your hands off him!
386
00:18:46,624 --> 00:18:48,105
What's your problem?
387
00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:49,807
Well, for one thing,
you're creasing my tux.
388
00:18:51,114 --> 00:18:53,339
Jack, you don't have
to put up with this.
389
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:57,045
- I'm working, so I do.
- Yeah, well, I don't.
390
00:18:57,089 --> 00:18:58,615
At what point did you decide
it was okay
391
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,011
to treat people like this?
392
00:19:00,054 --> 00:19:01,668
Will, I'm not talking to you.
Okay?
393
00:19:01,712 --> 00:19:04,153
- I'm talking to pepper, here.
- Brian, I got news for ya.
394
00:19:04,198 --> 00:19:06,552
I'm a pepper!
395
00:19:06,596 --> 00:19:08,733
- Excuse me?
- I'm a pepper, he's a pepper!
396
00:19:08,777 --> 00:19:10,477
And considering the grades
you got in law school,
397
00:19:10,521 --> 00:19:11,873
you're a heartbeat away
from being a pepper too.
398
00:19:13,704 --> 00:19:16,495
Now, why don't you sit down,
shut up and wait for your meat?
399
00:19:16,539 --> 00:19:18,763
If the rest of you
will excuse me...
400
00:19:18,807 --> 00:19:20,551
I have a ballet to perform.
401
00:19:28,531 --> 00:19:29,534
Okay, everyone,
round 'em up.
402
00:19:29,578 --> 00:19:31,060
Smile. Step lively.
403
00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:32,804
Releve. Very good. Very proud.
404
00:19:32,849 --> 00:19:36,249
Jack, if I sounded anything
like that guy, I'm sorry.
405
00:19:36,293 --> 00:19:37,732
Will, letting me
keep this tux means
406
00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:39,695
never having to say
you're sorry. [chuckles]
407
00:19:39,738 --> 00:19:43,096
Done. I just wish there was some
way I could get back at him.
408
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,666
You mean like putting
a laxative in his soup?
409
00:19:44,710 --> 00:19:47,021
Oh, that would be so good!
410
00:19:47,065 --> 00:19:48,504
Already done.
411
00:19:49,768 --> 00:19:51,338
You are awesome.
412
00:19:51,381 --> 00:19:52,996
Don't be so cheery,
I put one in yours too.
413
00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:56,048
[instrumental music]
414
00:19:58,141 --> 00:20:00,278
You will not believe
the day I had.
415
00:20:00,321 --> 00:20:03,723
No, no, no. No. Whatever it is,
I guarantee I can top it.
416
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:07,255
Okay... you open.
417
00:20:07,299 --> 00:20:11,354
Cater-waitering for Jack
at the Waldorf Astoria.
418
00:20:11,398 --> 00:20:17,591
Good open, but I see
your Waldorf and raise you
419
00:20:17,635 --> 00:20:21,254
hunting for porn
all over Manhattan.
420
00:20:24,917 --> 00:20:27,446
Running into
law school classmates
421
00:20:27,489 --> 00:20:30,498
while serving them crab cakes.
422
00:20:30,542 --> 00:20:34,423
Getting groped
in an adult video store
423
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:38,174
by a former
New York City mayor.
424
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:44,236
Enjoying an appetizer of potato,
leek and laxative soup.
425
00:20:46,633 --> 00:20:49,555
Oh... that's good.
426
00:20:49,599 --> 00:20:53,743
I don't know if I can..
Oh! Oh. Oh, oh, what's this?
427
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:56,228
Oh, yes, yes, yes!
428
00:20:57,842 --> 00:21:01,635
Karen, actually doing work.
429
00:21:03,380 --> 00:21:06,345
No, no, Grace,
that's not gonna do it.
430
00:21:06,389 --> 00:21:10,357
Let's just go
to videotape, shall we?
431
00:21:10,401 --> 00:21:12,668
[instrumental music]
Karen: Baby's made a mess.
432
00:21:12,711 --> 00:21:14,674
Karen: Dirty pig baby.
433
00:21:14,717 --> 00:21:15,939
[whip cracks]
434
00:21:19,035 --> 00:21:21,128
Oh, I fold. I fold, yeah.
31761
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof