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1
00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:03,745
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:07,495
Hmm, I wonder what's in
the paper today?
3
00:00:07,539 --> 00:00:10,678
Let's see. War, famine.
4
00:00:10,722 --> 00:00:14,995
The computer I bought a month
ago is now half the price.
5
00:00:15,039 --> 00:00:18,091
And on the front
page of the art section...
6
00:00:18,135 --> 00:00:20,619
[gasps]
Oh, my, God! It's me!
7
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,585
Let me see.
8
00:00:23,628 --> 00:00:25,633
Will, Will, Will,
buy me a computer?
9
00:00:28,163 --> 00:00:29,470
I want one in tangerine
to match the shoes
10
00:00:29,514 --> 00:00:30,517
you're gonna get me later.
11
00:00:33,307 --> 00:00:35,836
I think you missed the point
of Grace's entrance.
12
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,453
Let me see.
13
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,763
Uh, "From Warehouse
to Our House
14
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:41,940
The Transformation
of a Tribeca Loft."
15
00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:43,161
Get to me! Get to me!
16
00:00:43,205 --> 00:00:45,341
Oh, yeah, alright, um, um,
17
00:00:45,385 --> 00:00:48,917
"Manhattan interior designer,
Grace Adler, 26..."
18
00:00:52,448 --> 00:00:53,190
Must've been a typo.
19
00:00:55,152 --> 00:00:55,892
More like a lie-o.
20
00:00:58,727 --> 00:01:00,341
Grace, this is great.
21
00:01:00,384 --> 00:01:01,953
There's a picture
and everything.
22
00:01:01,997 --> 00:01:04,046
- Look at that gorgeous face.
- Look at the leather pants.
23
00:01:05,442 --> 00:01:07,186
Look at those massive jugs.
24
00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:16,254
Yeah, what's goin' on there?
25
00:01:17,389 --> 00:01:18,870
What are you talking about?
26
00:01:18,914 --> 00:01:22,882
My... jugs look exactly
like they do in the picture.
27
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:28,768
They, they definitely don't.
28
00:01:28,811 --> 00:01:29,814
No, I mean, these, these are
29
00:01:29,858 --> 00:01:31,471
like five times the size.
30
00:01:31,515 --> 00:01:33,825
I mean, maybe, it was the-- the
angle the photograph was taken.
31
00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:35,439
You know, that King Kong
was only eight inches tall.
32
00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:38,317
Look, let me show you.
Here.
33
00:01:38,361 --> 00:01:40,279
And I'm a gay man,
so this means nothing.
34
00:01:44,378 --> 00:01:46,121
This is how big yours are.
35
00:01:46,165 --> 00:01:47,342
See, where-- whereas
the picture
36
00:01:47,386 --> 00:01:49,173
gives the illusion
of like this-ness.
37
00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:53,359
You're crazy!
38
00:01:53,403 --> 00:01:55,016
Grace, let me see now.
[clearing throat]
39
00:01:55,059 --> 00:01:57,022
I am also a gay man,
so this means nothing.
40
00:02:03,213 --> 00:02:04,521
Yeah, Will's right.
These are definitely smaller.
41
00:02:04,564 --> 00:02:06,788
Mm-hm.
42
00:02:06,832 --> 00:02:08,358
Oh, my God, I just got to
second with Grace.
43
00:02:15,508 --> 00:02:18,822
I guess, they do look
a little huge-esque.
44
00:02:18,865 --> 00:02:19,694
Do me.
See how big mine are.
45
00:02:21,569 --> 00:02:23,357
- Jack, no.
- Come on, you got felt up.
46
00:02:28,545 --> 00:02:30,769
Okay, but I'm a straight woman,
so this means nothing.
47
00:02:30,812 --> 00:02:31,815
Okay.
48
00:02:34,519 --> 00:02:35,609
Someone's been working out.
49
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,705
Guilty.
50
00:02:41,059 --> 00:02:42,846
Hey, hey, Gracie, you know,
while you're givin' it away
51
00:02:42,890 --> 00:02:45,550
over there, you know?
52
00:02:45,593 --> 00:02:48,559
[gasps]
Now these are some knockers.
53
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,346
Thank you. Huh?
54
00:02:53,834 --> 00:02:54,880
Hmm.
55
00:02:59,110 --> 00:03:00,113
What's goin' on here?
56
00:03:14,719 --> 00:03:16,288
- Okay, this just got weird.
- That's true.
57
00:03:16,332 --> 00:03:19,253
[theme music]
58
00:03:28,672 --> 00:03:30,240
Hi.
59
00:03:30,284 --> 00:03:33,860
Oh, look, it's the dynamic duo.
Oh, and Will. Huh.
60
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,574
So, you've seen the picture.
61
00:03:40,618 --> 00:03:41,751
Yeah, honey,
what happened there?
62
00:03:43,931 --> 00:03:46,373
Oh, Grace, you got a call
from a guy.
63
00:03:46,417 --> 00:03:48,771
It was about a person...
64
00:03:48,815 --> 00:03:50,777
or a place or a thing.
Uh, some...
65
00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:54,788
Okay, that's a start.
66
00:03:54,832 --> 00:03:56,838
We know a human being called
regarding a noun.
67
00:03:56,881 --> 00:03:58,843
[chuckles]
68
00:03:58,887 --> 00:04:01,241
Devil, I wrote it
down here some... Let's see.
69
00:04:01,285 --> 00:04:03,770
What was I... Oh, I was putting
on my face when...
70
00:04:03,814 --> 00:04:04,686
Oh, there it is.
There.
71
00:04:12,142 --> 00:04:13,929
Donald Dorio called?
72
00:04:13,973 --> 00:04:16,370
Oh, my God! No way!
He's such a fox!
73
00:04:18,115 --> 00:04:21,603
Good, Lord. A pack of cigs
and a pregnancy scare
74
00:04:21,646 --> 00:04:22,780
and this could be high school.
75
00:04:26,835 --> 00:04:29,800
Donald Dorio was
high school for me.
76
00:04:29,844 --> 00:04:32,024
Even though he wouldn't
give me the time of day.
77
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:33,201
Anyway, I heard
he's an artist now.
78
00:04:33,244 --> 00:04:34,378
He must have, uh...
79
00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:35,817
He must've seen the article
80
00:04:35,861 --> 00:04:36,907
and liked what I did
with the loft. Tsk, tsk.
81
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,615
Yeah, the loft.
82
00:04:45,191 --> 00:04:46,717
- Gotta be the loft.
- Will: 'Mmm.'
83
00:04:49,421 --> 00:04:51,426
Hey, the guy is an artist.
84
00:04:51,469 --> 00:04:53,519
He was just responding
to an aesthetic.
85
00:04:53,562 --> 00:04:55,393
Yeah, the aesthetic
of your giant hooters.
86
00:04:57,661 --> 00:04:58,751
Will is right, honey.
87
00:04:58,795 --> 00:04:59,972
Mr. High School called
88
00:05:00,016 --> 00:05:02,152
because he thinks
you're stacked.
89
00:05:02,196 --> 00:05:03,896
Now, if you actually were
90
00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:06,033
you would understand the effect
that they have on men.
91
00:05:06,076 --> 00:05:10,087
But, alas, Mother Nature did not
bless you as she did me.
92
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:18,982
Said the woman whose frown lines
were filled with ass fat.
93
00:05:19,025 --> 00:05:19,898
Karen: Oh.
94
00:05:23,168 --> 00:05:24,563
- Bye-bye.
- Grace: Bye.
95
00:05:25,348 --> 00:05:26,568
I'm gonna call him.
96
00:05:26,612 --> 00:05:28,444
Alright.
Don't be too chatty.
97
00:05:28,487 --> 00:05:29,577
Just make your breasts
sound big.
98
00:05:33,938 --> 00:05:38,298
Don, hi, it's Grace Adler.
99
00:05:38,341 --> 00:05:42,265
How are you? It's...
It has been a really long time.
100
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,922
Yes, yes.
101
00:05:43,966 --> 00:05:46,363
Uh, that was a loft
I did about a month ago.
102
00:05:46,407 --> 00:05:47,236
I'm very proud of it.
103
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:48,936
[chuckles]
104
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:51,203
Oh, yes.
105
00:05:51,247 --> 00:05:53,034
That-- that was me
in the picture.
106
00:05:53,078 --> 00:05:54,734
Bingo.
107
00:05:54,779 --> 00:05:58,571
What? Oh, I-- I--
I would love to.
108
00:05:58,616 --> 00:06:01,318
Yes, I know exactly
where it is. Okay
109
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:06,202
He's part of a group show
at the Zelman Gallery.
110
00:06:06,245 --> 00:06:07,292
And he invited me.
111
00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:08,600
[gasping]
112
00:06:12,829 --> 00:06:14,094
What?
113
00:06:14,138 --> 00:06:15,664
He thinks you've got
big melons.
114
00:06:19,282 --> 00:06:23,119
So, if I were you, Grace,
I would figure out a way
115
00:06:23,163 --> 00:06:25,822
to turn those honey donts
into some honey dos.
116
00:06:26,912 --> 00:06:28,831
[instrumental music]
117
00:06:32,755 --> 00:06:34,237
Jack, could I get some
help here, please?
118
00:06:38,772 --> 00:06:40,341
I think I'm gonna
bring back paisley.
119
00:06:42,783 --> 00:06:45,268
It's so funny that
you mentioned paisley because...
120
00:06:45,313 --> 00:06:46,271
Do something!
121
00:06:47,580 --> 00:06:48,757
I think you're sitting
on the remote.
122
00:06:52,724 --> 00:06:54,425
Why is there an earring
in your sofa?
123
00:06:54,468 --> 00:06:57,084
It's probably Grace's.
124
00:06:57,128 --> 00:06:58,436
It looks just like
the skull earring
125
00:06:58,480 --> 00:06:59,875
I gave my old boyfriend, Walter.
126
00:07:03,058 --> 00:07:05,369
Uh... well...
127
00:07:05,412 --> 00:07:09,249
It looks like
a pretty common skull.
128
00:07:09,293 --> 00:07:11,691
I had a W engraved on it,
you know, for Walter.
129
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:14,482
- Isn't that sweet?
- Mm-hmm.
130
00:07:17,316 --> 00:07:18,493
Oh, look, this one has an M.
131
00:07:29,131 --> 00:07:31,093
Ja-- Jack, it's not
what you think.
132
00:07:31,137 --> 00:07:34,277
You fooled around
with my Walter.
133
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,846
Okay, it is what you think.
134
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:39,334
But, but, Jack, it's...
Jack!
135
00:07:39,378 --> 00:07:42,037
'He wasn't your Walter
at the time.'
136
00:07:42,081 --> 00:07:44,741
You know, I mean,
you'd broken up long ago.
137
00:07:44,784 --> 00:07:47,967
You know, he was, he was
Walter up for grabs.
138
00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:50,539
So, I-- I grabbed, you know?
139
00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:53,373
- How could you?
- It was one time.
140
00:07:53,418 --> 00:07:55,118
Commandment number one
in the gay Bible
141
00:07:55,161 --> 00:07:58,256
"Thou shalt not covet
my ex's ass."
142
00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:01,963
Jack, is that from
the "Book of Gene-sissy?"
143
00:08:04,099 --> 00:08:06,454
That's so funny. That's it!
Goodbye!
144
00:08:06,497 --> 00:08:08,067
- Jack, Jack!
- Sinner!
145
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,337
Well, you couldn't be
that angry.
146
00:08:11,381 --> 00:08:12,733
You barely even slammed
the door.
147
00:08:19,534 --> 00:08:24,635
Hey, honey, how are you makin'
out with the fake boobies?
148
00:08:24,679 --> 00:08:27,077
Grace: This is crazy.
I don't need this.
149
00:08:27,121 --> 00:08:28,211
Yeah, whatever, honey.
150
00:08:28,254 --> 00:08:30,217
Just bring out
the floatin' fun bags.
151
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,902
See? This is ridiculous.
152
00:08:41,945 --> 00:08:43,689
I look like a ski resort.
153
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,576
Look at you, honey.
Look, look, look.
154
00:08:49,619 --> 00:08:51,843
You're all grown up.
Oh.
155
00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:57,293
Leave it to a man to invent
a bra filled with water.
156
00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:59,386
Come on, everybody in your
condition wears 'em.
157
00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:02,350
They make objects appear larger
than they really are.
158
00:09:02,394 --> 00:09:04,661
Okay, now let's buy that puppy
and get the hell out of here.
159
00:09:04,705 --> 00:09:07,277
No. No, I don't want this.
160
00:09:07,321 --> 00:09:10,635
I don't want lingerie
that a goldfish could live in.
161
00:09:10,678 --> 00:09:13,251
Look, I feel completely
comfortable the way I am.
162
00:09:13,294 --> 00:09:14,515
Don likes me for me.
163
00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:15,824
[laughs]
164
00:09:18,919 --> 00:09:21,361
Oh, honey, I'm tellin' ya
165
00:09:21,404 --> 00:09:23,366
you should do stand-up.
That's good.
166
00:09:24,675 --> 00:09:26,418
- Oh.
- Karen, he does.
167
00:09:26,462 --> 00:09:29,122
Yeah, okay, well, then
let me ask you one question.
168
00:09:29,165 --> 00:09:33,656
Um, did Donald Dorio have
a girlfriend in high school?
169
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:34,964
I'll take one in every color.
170
00:09:44,861 --> 00:09:48,698
- Hi, how are you?
- What?
171
00:09:48,742 --> 00:09:50,530
Where have you been? I've been
trying to call you all day.
172
00:09:50,573 --> 00:09:51,751
Oh, what a coincidence.
173
00:09:51,794 --> 00:09:52,578
I've been trying to
ignore you all day.
174
00:09:52,623 --> 00:09:54,541
That is so funny.
175
00:09:54,584 --> 00:09:55,718
And you might want to
talk to your wife
176
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,465
about the quality
of her snacks.
177
00:09:58,508 --> 00:10:00,645
There's nothin' in her fridge
but batteries and mayonnaise.
178
00:10:02,389 --> 00:10:05,485
See ya, wouldn't want to be ya.
179
00:10:05,528 --> 00:10:08,188
You're stealing food
from her now? I'm-- I'm hurt.
180
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,278
You're hurt?
181
00:10:09,322 --> 00:10:10,892
Jack, come on.
Give me a break.
182
00:10:10,935 --> 00:10:13,638
I-- I left 32 "I'm sorrys"
on your answering machine.
183
00:10:13,682 --> 00:10:15,426
And even one "I'm saw-wy."
184
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,963
Come on.
I just shopped at Balducci's.
185
00:10:28,157 --> 00:10:31,427
I'll go in, but, only to grab
a Balance Bar and some chicken
186
00:10:31,471 --> 00:10:32,213
then I've gotta go.
187
00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:35,308
- Jack.
- Excuse me, in a rush.
188
00:10:40,802 --> 00:10:43,941
I'm meeting Rory
at the Mandy Bar.
189
00:10:43,985 --> 00:10:45,292
You remember Rory.
190
00:10:45,337 --> 00:10:46,339
Yeah, he's the friend that never
191
00:10:46,382 --> 00:10:47,734
slept with any of my boyfriends.
192
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,658
Jack, if I'm supposed
to stay away from every guy
193
00:10:51,702 --> 00:10:53,969
you've ever slept with that
would leave me with... women.
194
00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,292
For your information, Will
195
00:11:00,335 --> 00:11:01,992
Walter was the love
of my life.
196
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,736
Oh, you've said that about
each Backstreet Boy
197
00:11:03,779 --> 00:11:05,219
at one time or another.
198
00:11:07,747 --> 00:11:10,712
Besides, you-- you guys only
went out for what, a month?
199
00:11:10,756 --> 00:11:12,630
Yeah. And then he dumped me.
200
00:11:12,674 --> 00:11:15,247
You remember what that feels
like, huh? It hurts.
201
00:11:16,337 --> 00:11:18,560
I had no idea.
You never mentioned it.
202
00:11:18,604 --> 00:11:21,133
Oh, how often do you talk about
Michael? Oh, that's right.
203
00:11:21,177 --> 00:11:22,921
All the time, because
you're so self-absorbed.
204
00:11:27,847 --> 00:11:29,548
But, me, I don't wear
my heart on my sleeve.
205
00:11:29,591 --> 00:11:31,205
Okay, I get it.
I screwed up.
206
00:11:31,248 --> 00:11:32,949
What-- what--
what is this gonna cost me?
207
00:11:34,213 --> 00:11:35,958
Not much.
Just a friend.
208
00:11:37,832 --> 00:11:40,361
Jack, I know you're
not that angry,
209
00:11:40,405 --> 00:11:41,931
because you didn't
slam the door.
210
00:11:44,242 --> 00:11:45,768
Slam the door, Jack.
211
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,473
Jack?
212
00:11:54,009 --> 00:11:56,057
[instrumental music]
213
00:11:56,101 --> 00:11:58,456
Oh, I'm so sorry
that I'm late, but...
214
00:11:58,499 --> 00:11:59,763
Hello, kitties.
215
00:12:01,290 --> 00:12:02,554
Wha-- what's with that?
216
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,908
It's a Hydra Bra.
[chuckles]
217
00:12:04,951 --> 00:12:06,696
Water filled for
extra perkiness.
218
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:09,748
[laughs]
219
00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:11,971
You would not believe
the day I've had.
220
00:12:12,015 --> 00:12:14,370
Guys whistling at me,
shouting lewd comments.
221
00:12:14,414 --> 00:12:17,029
It was fantastic.
222
00:12:17,074 --> 00:12:19,602
Sweetie, you don't need those.
You're perfect.
223
00:12:19,645 --> 00:12:21,564
Yeah, but, you know, I just...
224
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:23,482
I wanted to look good for Don.
225
00:12:23,526 --> 00:12:25,575
Hey, all I'm saying is
you do what you have to do
226
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,232
to make yourself feel
a little more attractive.
227
00:12:27,276 --> 00:12:28,715
Well, I just want to
go on record as saying
228
00:12:28,758 --> 00:12:30,589
it is wrong to lie.
229
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:32,726
By the way, I told Jack that
Cher is gonna be here tonight.
230
00:12:34,557 --> 00:12:36,170
- Cher's here?
- No. No.
231
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,260
I just told him that,
232
00:12:37,304 --> 00:12:39,004
so he'd come here
to meet Walter.
233
00:12:39,048 --> 00:12:41,751
- Who's Walter?
- I told you this.
234
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,147
God, do the boobs
make you dumber?
235
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:47,420
I'm gonna go look at myself
in the mirror again.
236
00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:52,783
Cher? Cher? Cher!
237
00:12:52,826 --> 00:12:54,395
Oh, sorry. Oh...
238
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,535
Where is she?
What-- what's she wearing?
239
00:12:57,578 --> 00:12:59,977
♪ Gypsies tramps...
240
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:03,378
Jack, Jack, Jack.
Jack, she's not here yet.
241
00:13:03,421 --> 00:13:05,252
Now, just calm down
and have an hors d'oeuvre.
242
00:13:05,296 --> 00:13:07,084
Hey, hey, hey,
don't get so chummy.
243
00:13:07,127 --> 00:13:07,999
I ain't sure I'm liking you yet.
244
00:13:10,135 --> 00:13:11,182
- Karen.
- Hmm?
245
00:13:11,226 --> 00:13:12,054
Watch.
246
00:13:16,415 --> 00:13:18,246
Huh?
247
00:13:18,289 --> 00:13:19,466
Welcome to my world, honey.
248
00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:27,533
- And thank you for inviting me.
- Oh. Ha-ha.
249
00:13:29,626 --> 00:13:32,241
Oh, no, but seriously,
Karen, I mean, you just...
250
00:13:32,285 --> 00:13:33,767
You really took an interest
251
00:13:33,811 --> 00:13:36,384
and I just want to tell you
how much I appreciate it.
252
00:13:36,427 --> 00:13:39,348
Well, Grace, you know,
we joke a lot
253
00:13:39,392 --> 00:13:40,961
but, when you get
right down to it--
254
00:13:41,005 --> 00:13:42,095
- There's Don, get lost.
- Ah.
255
00:13:45,714 --> 00:13:49,028
Grace Adler, I can't believe it.
I'm so glad you came.
256
00:13:49,638 --> 00:13:51,164
Me too.
257
00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:54,478
Wow. Look at you.
258
00:13:54,522 --> 00:13:56,789
Look, I gotta go play host
for a few minutes.
259
00:13:56,832 --> 00:13:59,405
Uh, I'll find you.
260
00:13:59,449 --> 00:14:00,800
We'll be here.
I'll be here.
261
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:06,076
[chuckles]
262
00:14:06,119 --> 00:14:08,169
Oh, my God! I think he likes me!
263
00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:10,174
- Okay.
- Thank you so much.
264
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:13,488
Okay, okay.
Push me again and you die.
265
00:14:15,232 --> 00:14:18,546
Oh, wait, honey, I think
you're caught on my brooch.
266
00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:19,680
Oh, I got it. Okay.
There you go.
267
00:14:19,723 --> 00:14:21,860
Oh, my gosh.
268
00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:25,522
His art is amazing.
Look at that.
269
00:14:33,762 --> 00:14:34,461
Oh, my God.
270
00:14:48,063 --> 00:14:51,116
- Will, what are you doing?
- I think you've sprung a leak.
271
00:14:51,159 --> 00:14:53,906
What are you talking about?
[gasps]
272
00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:58,964
I haven't been with a woman
in a some time
273
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:00,490
but, I'm pretty sure
they're not supposed to do that.
274
00:15:03,019 --> 00:15:04,414
Oh, my God.
275
00:15:04,457 --> 00:15:06,681
Good Lord, why don't you two
get a room.
276
00:15:10,650 --> 00:15:13,396
Oh, my God. Okay.
Just start walking, okay?
277
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,055
Okay, we have got to get out
of here before we see...
278
00:15:16,099 --> 00:15:17,756
Don, hi!
279
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:22,683
Hi, old friend, haven't seen him
in a long time.
280
00:15:22,726 --> 00:15:25,212
So, Don, how's your show?
Will, I got this.
281
00:15:25,255 --> 00:15:27,348
- Good luck.
- Okay.
282
00:15:27,392 --> 00:15:29,746
Hey, uh, I didn't get a chance
to give you a proper hello.
283
00:15:39,077 --> 00:15:41,083
- Did you get some champagne?
- Uh, no, no.
284
00:15:41,126 --> 00:15:42,303
- But, that's okay, that's okay.
- Oh, no.
285
00:15:42,347 --> 00:15:44,091
You gotta have a glass.
It's my opening.
286
00:15:46,489 --> 00:15:47,623
Thank you.
287
00:15:49,497 --> 00:15:51,373
To old friends
288
00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:52,463
who should have
gotten together earlier.
289
00:16:11,298 --> 00:16:13,173
Oh, wh-- what are you doing?
290
00:16:13,216 --> 00:16:14,525
Why are you drinking like that?
291
00:16:14,568 --> 00:16:17,097
Oh, it's just, it's just,
I'm just, I'm just
292
00:16:17,141 --> 00:16:20,019
blown away by your, by your,
by your water colors.
293
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,850
It's just like... whoa!
294
00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:24,727
[laughs]
295
00:16:24,771 --> 00:16:26,340
Will you excuse me
for just one sec--
296
00:16:26,384 --> 00:16:27,562
Wai-- wai-- wai--
wait a second.
297
00:16:27,605 --> 00:16:28,259
Why are you trying to
get away from me?
298
00:16:30,134 --> 00:16:32,357
Okay, Don, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna be honest with you.
299
00:16:35,497 --> 00:16:39,334
We live in a deeply
patriarchal society
300
00:16:39,377 --> 00:16:42,255
in which women are
unfairly judged by...
301
00:16:43,388 --> 00:16:44,828
Ugh!
302
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,354
My boobies are fake.
303
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:48,315
And broken.
304
00:16:52,414 --> 00:16:55,553
I'm wearing the Hydra Bra.
305
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,821
But, why-- why,
why would you do that?
306
00:16:57,865 --> 00:17:01,701
Well, I just... The picture
made me look, you know...
307
00:17:01,745 --> 00:17:04,579
And I thought that
you would, maybe, like it.
308
00:17:04,622 --> 00:17:07,805
Grace, I called you
because I thought
309
00:17:07,849 --> 00:17:09,506
you were talented
and creative.
310
00:17:09,549 --> 00:17:11,947
I am talented
and-- and creative.
311
00:17:11,991 --> 00:17:13,953
I mean, did you see the way
that I-- I drank the champagne?
312
00:17:13,997 --> 00:17:17,180
I mean, that's-- that's...
313
00:17:17,223 --> 00:17:19,927
I'm sorry, Grace, but,
I'm looking to be with somebody
314
00:17:19,970 --> 00:17:23,720
who's, uh, a little more secure
and a little less shallow.
315
00:17:23,763 --> 00:17:24,504
Oh...
316
00:17:26,815 --> 00:17:27,993
Hello.
317
00:17:30,608 --> 00:17:32,745
You look like
you have a beautiful soul.
318
00:17:32,788 --> 00:17:35,667
Hmm. Hey, that's not my soul
you're lookin' at.
319
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:55,069
I think you improved them.
You know, they're moodier.
320
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,819
I'm glad you like them.
321
00:17:58,862 --> 00:17:59,734
'Cause you're gettin' them
for Christmas.
322
00:17:59,777 --> 00:18:03,179
Ah, hmm...
How you feelin'?
323
00:18:03,223 --> 00:18:05,882
Mmm, a little deflated.
324
00:18:07,451 --> 00:18:09,196
Oh, God, what was I thinking?
325
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:12,074
I look fine the way I am.
326
00:18:12,117 --> 00:18:14,515
So, why didn't you believe me
when I said that?
327
00:18:14,558 --> 00:18:17,524
Well, 'cause you're too close.
You're gay.
328
00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:21,448
You're my best friend.
You're gay.
329
00:18:23,497 --> 00:18:27,028
- You love me. You're gay
- Hey, hey, hey.
330
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:30,255
There-- there was a time
when I was a boob man.
331
00:18:30,299 --> 00:18:33,133
'Course, it ended when my mom
switched to formula.
332
00:18:37,755 --> 00:18:41,156
Okay, it's ten o'clock
and no Cher.
333
00:18:41,199 --> 00:18:44,643
Unless, you can turn back time,
I'm very, very angry.
334
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:49,353
Jack, she's not coming.
335
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,399
I-- I just told you that
336
00:18:50,443 --> 00:18:52,971
to get you down here.
337
00:18:53,014 --> 00:18:55,674
Hmm. Okay, just give me
a minute here.
338
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,767
How dare you play
the Cher card!
339
00:18:57,811 --> 00:19:00,297
And why do I keep
falling for it? How dare you.
340
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,910
I know, I know, I know, but
I think I've got something
341
00:19:01,953 --> 00:19:03,218
that's gonna make you
even happier.
342
00:19:03,261 --> 00:19:05,005
Inconceivable!
Fool me once, shame on me.
343
00:19:05,048 --> 00:19:07,839
Fool me twice, you're thinning
on top. Goodbye.
344
00:19:07,882 --> 00:19:10,019
Jack, Jack.
I tracked down Walter.
345
00:19:10,062 --> 00:19:12,155
- He's coming here tonight.
- Shut up.
346
00:19:14,118 --> 00:19:15,252
What did he say?
347
00:19:15,295 --> 00:19:17,169
He said that he's still single,
348
00:19:17,213 --> 00:19:18,870
and he's still living
in New York
349
00:19:18,913 --> 00:19:20,570
and, uh, he's dying
to see you.
350
00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:22,446
Ah, shut up, shut up!
351
00:19:22,489 --> 00:19:23,972
Oh, my God, you're the
best friend in the whole world.
352
00:19:24,015 --> 00:19:27,983
[chuckles]
And he just walked in.
353
00:19:28,026 --> 00:19:28,986
How do I look?
Am I swimming in these pants?
354
00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:30,991
'Cause they're yours.
355
00:19:31,035 --> 00:19:32,997
You look fine, Jack.
356
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,787
Okay, now, go get him
and bring him to me.
357
00:19:38,186 --> 00:19:40,671
Bring him to...
What is this, 1810?
358
00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:41,848
Walter.
359
00:19:41,891 --> 00:19:43,331
- Hi, Will.
- Hey.
360
00:19:43,374 --> 00:19:44,290
Hey, Jack. Sorry I'm late.
361
00:19:48,519 --> 00:19:50,525
- Walter.
- Wow, you look great.
362
00:19:50,568 --> 00:19:52,792
Thank you, so do you.
363
00:19:52,835 --> 00:19:55,539
Would you just excuse us,
just for a second? Over here.
364
00:19:58,678 --> 00:20:00,248
- What?
- That's Walter?
365
00:20:04,869 --> 00:20:06,613
Yeah, the love of your life.
366
00:20:06,657 --> 00:20:09,142
Okay, don't get angry at me,
367
00:20:09,186 --> 00:20:11,366
but I was totally thinking
of somebody else.
26929
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