Original subtitles

Oh, yes, I remember that day when young D'Artagnan

Was made a Musketeer of the King.

Splendid ceremony, you know. All the best people.

Cream of French society.

I was there, of course.

Well, who but I, with my colleagues Aramis and Athos,

could have put the Musketeer's tabard on D'Artagnan's shoulders?

It is important that a young man rising in the world

Should be seen to have a worthy and valorous sponsor, what?

Well, it gives people confidence.

And the King approved.

And the Queen. Yes, well she might.

For was it not D'Artagnan and I, with Aramis and Athos,

Who had saved her reputation

and prevented her love affair with the Duke of Buckingham

from becoming a public scandal?

Stupid woman, you see, becoming infatuated

With an Englishman and an English Prime Minister at that. What next?

Oh, yes, D'Artagnan had earned his reward, I can tell you.

He and we three Musketeers had risked our skins and our reputations

On her behalf against perilous enemies.

The Cardinal Richelieu for one.

Formidable man that, hungry for power,

Who would have exposed and ruined the Queen to serve his own ambition.

No gentleman, you see.

And his agents, the bad and beautiful Milady de Winter and her lover, Rochefort,

two birds of prey in fine feathers.

She, for one, would never forgive D'Artagnan

or his mistress Constance for defeating her plot against the Queen.

Revenge was what Milady wanted.

Dreadful woman!

But what did we care for her or Rochefort or the Cardinal even in those days?

We were young and carefree, as gentlemen Musketeers should be, what?

And the boy D'Artagnan was in love with his pretty dressmaker.

And there was work, fighting in the King's service

against the Protestant rebels of La Rochelle.

You see, we, and the King and Cardinal, were trying to teach the rebels

The meaning of Christian charity by bombarding them into surrender, what?

It's the only way to deal with those rascals with their working-class ideas about religion.

Even our old enemy Rochefort, the Cardinal's jackal,

Played his part by spying for us inside the walls of La Rochelle.

Unsuccessfully, as you see.

Fortunately for him, we three Musketeers played our part,

A distasteful one, I thought.

Rescuing a spy? No gentleman.

Leave him where he is, if I had my way.

Alright, it's big enough for him.

- Well, we didn't know how many... - Yes, you did.

Return your scouring sticks!

Put in bullets and ram home!

Shorten your scouring stick!

Recover your musket!

Take forth your match!

Blow off your coal!

Cock your musket!

Has Porthos got the horses ready?

Yes.

Has he got the horses ready?!

Yes!

Blindfold!

Cast about your musket!

Perhaps I could close one eye.

Poise your muskets!

Guard!

The bomb, the bomb! Quickly, the bomb!

Blow and open your pan!

The fuse, Athos! The fuse!

Present!

Fire!

You damn fools! Can't you even shoot a man?

Reload.

Why bother? I may die of old age.

It's a bomb!

Ooh! Oooh!

Yah! Yah!

Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah!

- What's happening?! - I can't see! I can't see!

Get on the horse, Rochefort! Hurry up, the lot of you!

- And not before time, Musketeers! - Who hurries to rescue a spy?

And a Cardinal's spy at that?

Yah, yah, yah, yah!

Porthos, seal off our escape!

Ha! The gate!

Yes.

A-ha, right.

Hmm. Yes.

Oh? Hmm?

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!!

Aramis!

Aramis!

Go under if you can!

Hit it now! See? Like that!

See? No, no, no!

Again! No, hit it hard! Again, like that.

I would rather I'd died, Majesty. I would rather,

than bring you my information.

That the rebels will not surrender, that they expect a fleet

To aid them under the admiralty of the Duke of Buckingham.

I'd rather I'd died.

Hmm! I would rather.

We would all rather.

I owe my life to Your Majesty.

I don't want it!

I don't want stories either.

I want to make a triumphal entry into La Rochelle.

The Duke of Buckingham covets my Queen, you know that?

No, Sire.

He wants La Rochelle, he will assist the rebels.

But your Queen is not a traitor to France.

- Not to France, to me. - Your Majesty is France.

Tell that to them, the rabble that infest La Rochelle Protestantly

And cock snooks at me.

Time will shatter those walls, Majesty. La Rochelle will fall.

But it is boring, battering away day after day.

Sire,

Shall we siege on here while Your Majesty returns to Paris

And your Queen, your faithful Queen?

- Hmm! - Leave this dirty business to us, huh?

It is dirty business, and the Queen is a traitor to my bed.

Well, think yourself lucky, er...

Uh! Uh!

...| care to place my Musketeers in danger to hoick you out of there.

Oh!

I shall not do it again, spy. If you had another eye, you might see why.

Good, I like that. Hm!

The gratitude of princes.

Spy? It is a foul word.

It is a familiar word to me, Eminence, in your service.

To your knees, little man,

Before your master!

Now hear me, Rochefort.

The Queen sends letters of love to Buckingham.

She should not.

Not while Buckingham sends fleets against France.

I would have you stop these letters by stopping their go-between,

The woman Bonacieux, the Queen's dressmaker.

You will remove her, my son.

This time do not require me to rescue you.

She is, after all, only a woman.

I tell you, that goose is tender, sir.

See? Now, say you're sorry.

You don't want it?

No. No, thank you.

Madame always said that that was the only way that you could find out if...

It was fresh or not.

Oh, peaches!

Look! Are they not beautiful?

Besides you, Constance my dear, they look old and wrinkled.

Oh, melons!

Clumsy clown. Who's going to pay for them?

D'Artagnan?

D'Artagnan!

Oh! D'Artagnan!

Away with her.

Help me!

Stand up and fight, you coward... Ooh!

Watch out!

You poor, poor gentleman.

Rene! Rene!

Come, lift him into the coach.

But gently.

He's hurt.

But, but Constance...

Be still.

I shall take care of you.

Really, Kitty. He is a most handsome young man.

Oh!

You are awake, sir.

Who... Who are you?

A friend.

Constance's melons!

- I have to... - Ah-ah!

You are feverish.

No, no, no, I must find Constance.

Oh! Oh!

Please forgive me. Such... such kindness.

- And me a mere stranger. - Sir...

Sir, you are not well, truly.

You should lie down.

Yes, I should.

Oh, no, but I must...

But, er, but I will be back to...

To thank you...

Properly.

A most handsome young man.

He'd be bleeding his life out in the gutter if I had my way.

And you are a friend.

I wonder what he'd say if he knew we had his slut of a dressmaker

Under lock and key?

So much beauty wasted on a clown of a Musketeer.

I merely obey the Cardinal's orders. I shall keep him occupied.

Isn't that all the Cardinal wants?

You do have a habit of enjoying your work.

Here we are!

Oh, God!

Oh!

Well, what do you say, My Lord Buckingham?

I think, Master Mariner, if God had intended us to swim underwater,

- he would have given us fins. - Oh?

If... If 1 go to break the siege of La Rochelle,

we shall go in good old English ships.

Well, er...

This underseas boat of yours is an ingenious invention,

But how many casks of salt beef can you carry to the rebels, hmm?

How many big guns can you take to blow old Richelieu to hell?

- Ah! - We're just... We're coming!

And yet, Your Grace, this boat is big enough for you to

Steal away the Queen of France.

I do not need to steal the Queen of France, sir.

Ooh, no, no.

When the time is ripe, we shall be together, she and I.

My dear sweet Anne.

Stupid priests!

Stupid Protestants!

Three weeks sneezing in the rain at La Rochelle and what to show for it all?

The best of my wardrobe's still on its way back to Paris.

These religious wars!

Beatrice, I could lose all patience!

- Perhaps, Majesty, this one... - No!

- Oh... - That makes me look like a burst cushion.

Huh! Constance will just have to make me a new one. Where is she?

- Where's the Queen's dressmaker? - Majesty, Constance is not to be found.

What do you mean?

She has not been seen for two days, Majesty. Not here, not at her home.

She has... gone.

The Cardinal.

Beatrice, what have they done with her?

But where? Where?

You say they kidnapped her under your very nose? A mere four of them?

To lose one's mistress in the conventional way is bad enough,

But to have her carried off like a basket of washing, my dear D'Artagnan,

That is careless, almost bad taste, huh, Porthos?

Especially when one has since begun paying attention

to a beautiful, great Milady of the court.

Your poor Madame Bonacieux will probably prefer to stay

With her kidnappers.

My mistress would if I treated them so.

Aramis!

Aramis!

Observe my new trick of tension.

Now, my opponent is there,

about to unsheathe, when suddenly...

Hah!

Ah! Ha-ha!

Oh, Porthos.

Try it again.

Hmm?

Oh...

Right.

Ah...

Yaah!

Ah! Only Porthos could invent a new way of disarming himself!

- Will you never learn, you great oaf? - Ah, no!

Kidnap her, why?

Oh!

- Not even listening. - For God's sake!

Stop messing about!

- That was a scientific experiment! - Athos, are you hurt?

Hurt?!

What I am is drunk.

What you are is hurt,

Troubled.

Child, you are troubled.

What's the matter?

Well, it's my mistress.

- She was snatched from my side, where... - Good.

No.

Have you discovered her hiding place?

- No. - Good.

I am told that you have found another.

No!

Porthos told me.

Now, is Porthos a liar?

No.

He speaks to me of a certain Milady who leads you by the hand.

No, no, no!

I love her with my head.

But my Constance, snatched from my side, I love with my heart.

You have a conveniently discriminating anatomy.

Who would have thought you kept your heart swung there so you might lose it, mm?

Why, you... you shrivelled old wine sack! Well, have you never lost your heart?

Me? No.

Never. But I knew a man once who did. But me, no, never.

Here, this is a love story, hmm?

There was this... man once.

This noble man,

who'd lost his heart.

Oh, he loved a girl who came from nothing,

From no place.

Came with beauty as beautiful as,

whatever you think is beautiful.

And he was a great man

and when, without fear, had taken her, wanted her.

But he was a great man because he was a man of honour

and so he married her.

Knowing not whence she came,

he gave her his name,

His wealth, his love

with honour.

And one day, hunting,

She was tipped from the horse.

And there in the full light of day, he... he saw her naked shoulder.

He saw the branded mark of a harlot,

A thief, placed there.

His angel bore his name and the mark of dish on our together.

Whore, murderess or worse,

Burned into her shoulder by the public hangman.

He...

saw it.

He...

What?

I think that she is...

Dead.

I would hope she died, wouldn't you?

Poor man.

Poor dishonoured man.

Well!

That's a story to cure you of love.

It takes a love story to cure you of love...

Of fascinating women.

Tell me something, is your Milady as beautiful as the dew?

She's as magnificent as summer's dew. As that.

I'd beg of you, forget her, she will do you some mischief.

Yes, you're right. And besides, I owe it to my Constance.

I shall remain faithful to her.

- Ah, Monsieur D'Artagnan. - Ah, Kitty! Your mistress is well today?

- Oh, well indeed, sir, but not here. - Not here? But she said four o'clock.

Yes, but before four she went out, to take the air.

The air?!

Why ever should she do that?

Oh!

What a pretty flower!

She doesn't love you at all, Monsieur.

She told you that?

Oh, no. But I have seen Milady and men before.

Mmm?

But... But why do you tell me this?

- Because, sir, I have my own interest. - You?

You, Kitty?

Oh, but of course!

What else could one expect?

Dear child.

Now then, we have ten minutes before Milady returns.

Here we go.

Thank you, Milady.

Bloody arm!

Kitty?

- She's put weight on. - Yeah, why doesn't she get a horse?

Kitty?

Kitty!

- Were you asleep? - I... was resting.

Thank you.

- Has our Gascon been and gone then? - No, Madame.

Milady, he did not come.

Perhaps with the army going to La Rochelle, he's been detained by...

Military duties.

Possibly.

It may be necessary to teach Monsieur D'Artagnan manners,

Before we've done with him.

What will you do with him, Milady?

Who shall say?

It's pleasant to be adored by one so pretty.

In time, Count Rochefort will cut him to death by inches.

Perhaps I shall watch.

As for his dressmaker...

Rochefort's grooms will have her.

I shall wear this tonight.

Stay there!

Thank you!

Oh, don't! I...

Oh!

Oh!

Where is Constance Bonacieux?

Quickly! Unless you want this bed to be your deathbed. Where is she?

Wait. Wait.

Ooh!

Now, try that again and I'll cut some fleurs-de-lis out of the rest of you!

- Oh, quickly, Kitty! Er... - What?

- Well, that cloak! - Kitty!

Kitty, open the door!

Kitty!

But...

Kitty, stop him!

Excuse me, sir. Stop! Come back, sir!

Kitty open this door!

- What... - I think your mistress is calling.

But that's the window...

- Huh? - Hello.

Hello! Hello!

- Thank you, Madame. - Move along, please.

- Kitty! - What?

Oh, well.

Kitty!

Kitty, open the door!

Duh!

Get out!

Ah!

Oh, bad luck, Aramis!

Shoe shine! Shine your shoes? Anyone want their shoes shined?

May I shine your shoes for you, sir?

Shoe shine?

Do you want your shoes shined, sir?

D'Artagnan! Lend me some money!

Wine!

I need some wine!

Ha-ha, thank you.

Gonna get some more, eh?

Bring us some more. Just give it to us.

Where did you get this?

Milady.

Your story, the brand of the Fleur-de-lis...

It was her?

Oh, God, I'd hoped that she was dead.

This had been in our family for generations before I gave it to her.

Those other two must not know, alright?

Yes.

So she has returned to haunt me.

And you.

Because you've done something she'll never forgive. You found out her secret.

She won't let you live, boy.

She has tried in that line already.

Leave now.

Leave Paris, leave France. Get as far from that evil woman's grasp as you can.

What about you?

Oh, I shall be safe enough.

She does not know that Athos exists.

If you stay,

Your life is not going to be worth a sous' purchase, do you understand that?

No, you forget, there's... there's still Constance to be found.

That tumbling trot of a dressmaker?

If you please! I love her.

I think.

Anyway, I shall ask the Queen for help in finding her.

And as for Mi-branded-lady and her vengeance...

Our regiment leaves again for La Rochelle tomorrow.

That should be far enough away to be safe.

Where away, Musketeer? The Queen?

Her Majesty isn't receiving, but the Cardinal is.

Guards!

Quickly!

Fools!

D'Artagnan of Gascony, you have been described to me as a swordsman.

That is kindness.

- As an intriguer. - There's that, in all of us.

As an enemy.

I'm honoured to count you among my enemies.

1?7

I have no enemies.

Only those of France.

My apologies, Eminence, but I do seem to be continually beset

by enemies who wear your coat, don't 1?

You wear my coat,

Serve France, as I do.

I'm offering you a commission in my guard.

These enemies are the enemies of France.

Root them out under my protection.

Wear my coat.

Have my love.

Eminence, er, what can I say?

"Yes" will be sufficient.

I can't.

You're very wet.

Wet or dry, I cannot.

Take my hand, D'Artagnan. Your fortune is secured.

No, I can't!

I do not withdraw it.

I do not withdraw my hand. It is held out to you openly.

In it lies your future. Take it!

No.

You go to the siege of La Rochelle?

I do.

You will find it a perilous journey.

I bear you no ill will,

But I can give you no protection.

I ask for none.

I shall not lift a finger to save you.

I deeply regret that I can not accept your service.

I don't make such an offer twice in one day.

But if you should survive to return to Paris,

Then you may see my hand stretched out to you once more.

For then, you would be a very remarkable young man indeed.

I would remark on it to people.

Goodbye.

The young fool refused Richelieu's offer of a commission.

Which now makes him fair game as far as your concerned.

The conceit!

No.

We shall oblige Monsieur D'Artagnan and make sure that his journey is an eventful one.

That's easily arranged.

The Musketeers regiment leaves Paris tomorrow.

They're being used as couriers on the march to La Rochelle.

D'Artagnan and his friends frequently travel in small groups.

There shall be no difficulty in arranging for them

To be suitably entertained along the road.

Excellent.

And the woman Bonacieux?

The lady is enjoying the hospitality of my guards at my Chateau of the Saint-Cloud.

It would seem that they are most anxious to pander

To her creature comforts, so you could say that she was in safe hands.

Never fear.

The Queen will need a new dressmaker whenever you agree to say so.

Mm, there.

There. Alright. There!

Oh!

- There we are. - Oh...

- Do you, erm... - Thank you, Monsieur.

- Uhh! - Ooh!

Oh, dear! Oh-oh-oh!

At Saint-Cloud?

Look, I know he'll kill her, if Milady says so.

And she'll do anything to be revenged on you.

I'll have her out of there this night.

But where can I take her to safety?

There's a convent of Armentiéres should be beyond their reach.

But Rochefort's men are sure to be expecting you.

Let us rescue your mistress. It's the very least one could do for a friend.

If she can stay with the sisters while we're at La Rochelle...

I'm sure they'll learn a great deal from each other.

I'll cover for you on our march and we'll meet again at...

Well, three days at the latest.

See if you can find a way to console yourself until our return.

Oh.

Mmm.

- Uhh! - Oooh! Oh!

Oh! Aramis!

Oh, forgive me!

Don't let him get the key!

Don't let him get it! Don't let him get it!

No, no, we need it!

Ooh!

Go to the window!

Hello, my dear. Would you like to climb on my shoulders?

No! Oh!

There it is!

Come on, my dear. Quickly, there we are.

Ah! Oh...

There we are.

- Yes? - Sister.

My dear, try not to get into any dirty habits.

"The problems of the siege of La Rochelle have been immense.

Mainly because nobody would listen to me.

For example...

I should have deployed the siege towers at dawn."

No, no, no. "Before dawn."

Oh, good evening. Seen any Musketeers yet?

Not yet, not yet.

There's a parcel and a letter for you on yonder table. Came today.

"Unfortunately, my superiors

Do not appreciate my strategy.

Your loving, Busigny."

What's it say?

Mmm?

Oh, well, this writing is abominably indistinct. Perhaps you could...

"Monsieur D'Artagnan, Messieurs Athos, Porthos and Aramis...

Arrived at my inn."

It's from the innkeeper at Ville Loire.

"And having dined and drunk, became so noisy,

That the provost marshal locked them up for a few days.

They've asked me to send you a dozen bottles of my Anjou wine to drink their health."

Now, that's what I call real friendship. To think of me when they're drunk.

No. No, the least I can do is to ball them out, and we'll drink these together.

Hurrah!

What did I do?

Odd play. Now, who the devil would fight out of doors this weather?

- Only a lunatic. - Do you mean, D'Artagnan might be involved?

Who else on this road? Yah!

Oh!

Whoa! Agh! Agh!

That one.

Aagh!

And that one.

Ooh!

D'Artagnan!

Don't worry. I'm coming.

I have...

- Take me with you! - Out of my way!

Help me!

A-huh.

Are you hurt, boy?

No, no.

- Good, come along. - Oh! Oh...

Aramis, this one's still alive! We'll take him with us.

He can sing us a song about Milady's plots, no doubt.

What about me?!

Aah!

Am I to freeze?!

- And after you'd butchered him, what then? - Nothing.

We were supposed to go to the Red Dovecote Inn near La Rochelle.

Oh, God, my arm!

I know nothing more, I swear! No names!

Planchet!

Brandy!

Come on, man, bustle!

Here's your wine of Anjou. That'll do.

A drink, in the name of God. A drink.

Am I to die of thirst and cold while this foot pad guzzles?

- What? Are you mad? - Look!

I always had my doubts about the Anjou '22.

- Where did this wine come from? - Why, you sent it.

It came today with a note from the landlord at Ville Loire.

- We sent you no wine. - But we can guess who did.

An ambush on the road, poisoned wine.

It occurs to me that Milady is persistent.

By God, the sooner we get safely under fire

At La Rochelle, the better.

Red Dovecote Inn.

Well, I think they're disgusting. Do try one, Majesty.

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost,

look down upon these sinners hanging here.

Mm!

Ah, Cardinal!

- La Rochelle has fallen, eh? - Not... quite, Sire.

The pigeon has reached the Dovecote, Eminence.

Ah, Eminence!

Yes, she is here.

She's upstairs, sir.

Either your priestly intentions have got all the saints on your side,

Or you're cheating.

- It is a matter of faith. - Your faith is costing me money.

All these evenings spent at this pestilential pot house

Just because that poisoned rascal mention its name.

What are we waiting for?

Shh!

Richelieu.

What the devil does he want here?

- And no one knows you are here? - The landlord has been well paid.

Yes. Now, Madame...

Milady...

What you will do for your pay.

A ship is waiting at the river mouth.

You will board it tonight. In London,

You will urge the Duke of Buckingham, in my name,

That he not assist the rebels of La Rochelle.

No food, no aid, no English fleet to the rescue.

Assure him from me, that if he does,

he is at war with France, a war he dare not fight, cannot win.

More than that,

the Queen of France, for whom he bears love,

My word on this, as surely as I love,

Will be dragged out and paraded in dish on our.

And if he will not heed you?

Why then, we must pray that the Duke meets with an accident.

I see.

Naturally, you will urge him to see wisdom.

Bon voyage, Milady.

I'm not to be paid in money.

You are not?

I have affairs to be settled.

I'm not concerned with your affairs.

I would wish it.

I'm not concerned with your wishes, Milady.

But you may name your own price, obviously.

A death.

I will not assist in your private murders, Madame.

I need no assistance.

I need only your signature that I might have carte blanche, a signed warrant

For disposal of the lives of the slut Bonacieux and her lover.

No.

Eminence.

The death of Buckingham for the death of D'Artagnan. Their lives...

For the sake of France.

- Well? - Go to the camp.

- Find D'Artagnan and stay with him. - And you?

- I'll follow as soon as I can. - Be careful.

What do you want?

Who are you? How dare you!

The Gascon was right.

You are still beautiful.

Comte de la Fére!

Oh, no... Milady.

The Comte de la Fére is dead.

You killed me years ago.

Do you remember?

Hunting in a field...

On a summer's day.

It's burned no deeper into you than it is into me.

What do you want of me? There's nothing between us.

Oh, thank God.

But there might be, you see.

I know you.

I know what passed here, just now.

Let you mark this,

You kill Buckingham or have him killed, it's no matter to me.

He's an Englishman and an enemy.

But you touch one hair of D'Artagnan's head

And I swear, as God is my judge, I'll break you on the wheel with my own hand.

No.

Monsieur D'Artagnan

Has assaulted me, insulted me.

Since when has it been possible to insult you, Madame?!

And he will die for it.

Have you ever seen a woman...

Shot in the stomach?

You know me, Milady.

Give me the papers the Cardinal wrote just now.

I'll give you five seconds.

Very well.

One, two,

three, four...

"By my order and for the good of the state,

The bearer has done what has been done. Richelieu."

A clever and subtle man, our dear Cardinal.

It gives you what you want without leaving evidence against himself.

Unfortunately you won't have time to run messages to him before your ship leaves.

Bon voyage.

Well, there's the outer bastion cleared of rebels, General.

But it's too hot to hold.

It's barely seven o'clock.

We'll try a full frontal assault at nine.

Or ten.

My God, a Musketeer! Where were you then?

Good day, gentlemen.

Boots, boy! Quickly!

No, no.

- Hello, cheeky! - Get off!

Sex mad!

Thank you very much.

Where is the Gascon? We have to speak to him, quickly.

Over there, in the trenches.

A conference of four, but where? We can't be secret here.

Quite.

It's not that I'm growing old but I fancy that every eye and ear round here

- Belongs to the Cardinal. - You're probably right.

Where can we go?

Warm work, gentlemen.

And where were the Musketeers, huh?

At our prayers, sir. Like good Christians.

By God, sir, so was I and with good reason.

That bastion was buzzing like a beehive.

And yet you did not stay for breakfast, sir.

Neither would you.

Mm?

Will you bet on that?

I will wager you...

Furthermore, I'll wager you the finest dinner on this camp

That my friends and I will have breakfast on that bastion...

Now.

Done! Done!

Do you hear that, Spengler.

- You and I will eat that big dinner alone, I think. - No!

What is it? What's the do?

Our good friend Athos proposes to have us killed for breakfast. Up yonder.

Oh?

Planchet, get me a basket, some bread and four cold chickens,

Ham, some oysters and eight bottles of wine now.

- Oh, fine! - And make the wine champagne.

For breakfast? Oh, my dear Porthos!

- Planchet! Money, money, money... - It's alright for some!

Huh!

Ooh! Thistles!

It seems a long way to go for breakfast!

Didn't think about it, Athos.

- Ah! - Ooh!

Over there! Don't you see?

Someone's approaching the bastion!

Fire!

Come!

Hurry! I'll cover you! Quickly, quickly!

There, there!

Don't drop it, Planchet!

- Oh! - Are you alright?

Why do we always have to attack uphill?

I'm getting too old for this.

I've got something important to tell you.

- You may have to speak up a bit! - Ah! Oh, dear!

You, you, you and you.

- Up there, yes, I see it. - You and you and you.

- Get those things ready! - And you.

At last, we got a chance to talk in peace.

- Ha-ha! - Here we are, sir. Here's your wine, now.

Sorry it's the wrong temperature.

Well, come on. Open it, Planchet!

Oh, well, well, well...

Damn that pot-bellied pirate of a landlord! This isn't champagne!

This wine does not travel well.

You saw her with the Cardinal? And she's going to murder Buckingham?

If necessary.

And knowing Buckingham, it probably will be. Here, give me some of that!

A moment, gentlemen! We're in the middle of our breakfast!

Barbarians, have they no manners?

We can't allow Buckingham to be butchered!

Why not, Monsieur? He's on their side.

Precisely. And he's English!

No, no! He's a gallant gentleman. And he loves our Queen.

Well, I'm not going to sit by and allow him to be murdered by that, that...

She also has a death warrant signed against you and your Madame Bonacieux.

Here, read this with your breakfast and afterwards tuck it safely in your boot, dear boy.

Fire!

Oh! Wrong.

It strikes me we would be better employed wringing Milady's pretty neck

Than shooting these poor devils of Protestants.

I mean, what are we killing them for?

Because they sing Psalms in French and we sing them in Latin?

Porthos, have you no education? What do you think religious wars are all about?

Ah, very good! Very good!

Here they come, gentlemen. Make your shots count, will you, please?

Hurry up Planchet. Load that. Be quick about it.

Come on, Planchet. Use both hands.

Aah!

A-ha!

Oooh!

- Aah! - No! This one's mine!

Aagh!

Bread! Bread! Bread!

- Oh? - Mine!

What a waste!

I do apologise.

Ooh!

Waaaah!

Quick, here, gentlemen! The wall!

Push! Push for your lives!

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Push, Porthos! Exert yourself!

Athos! About Buckingham, I ought to warn the Queen!

We'll talk about that later!

Gentlemen, I suggest we get out of here!

Take, take, take!

Yes. Thank you very much, sir.

Could, could, could could you give me a hand?

Ooh!

Could you... Could you help me a bit, sir?

The basket.

Can you... can you manage? Aah!

Keep firing!

Come back soon, men, and don't get killed, will you?

You've got to come back and pay it. I'll come and find you if you don't.

Nice to see the back of them men.

Here we are.

Well done, D'Artagnan, well done. And, Athos, come here.

It know it's against your principles, but have a drink!

And Aramis!

Even you. Well done.

Here's some money. Now go and fill your fat royalist bellies.

That your journey to England is wasted.

So you will inform His Eminence that I am not to be persuaded

Either by his threats or by his ambassadress's beauty.

I will take English ships to help the Protestants of La Rochelle.

Tell the Cardinal.

I trust you do not live to regret it, My Lord Buckingham.

Yah!

Trust the good Cardinal to employ every diplomatic argument.

At least it relieves my conscience of any doubts I may have had of assisting the French rebels.

I shall inform His Eminence.

Lady, you will inform no one.

You came here as an ambassadress, but by God, you'll stay here as an assassin!

- You would not dare. - Oh, come.

A week's lodging in a congenial riverside establishment, the Tower.

And after I've sailed with my fleet to France, you will set sail too.

To His Majesty's colonies in America.

America!

Oh, they say it is full of beautiful savages.

Who knows, once there, you may be able to use that...

astonishing beauty to persuade someone to bring you home again.

But don't count on it. In the meantime,

I have a jailer for you who can't see beauty even when it is astonishing.

He can't be melted. Felton!

My lord?

Milady is going to the Tower, Felton, in your charge.

She is to see no one else.

Good sir?

In this place, may I be granted the comfort of God's word?

A Bible and the Psalms.

Are you not a Roman?

No.

No, sir.

I am of the Huguenot. Those who were prosecuted for their Protestant faith.

This is mine.

I shall bring you the Psalms tomorrow.

God bless you, sir!

The Cardinal has sent that woman to England...

To kill him?

Mmm.

Oh, no.

No, he must be warned!

- You go, D'Artagnan! - It's not possible, Majesty.

I cannot leave my regiment with the Cardinal's spies everywhere.

But I do have a trusted servant who will go and warn Lord Buckingham,

If Your Majesty will write a message.

I... I owe you so much, D'Artagnan.

No, Majesty.

Majesty, the King is waiting.

One glad piece of news, I do have.

Constance Bonacieux is safe.

She's at the Cecilia convent, near Armentieres.

As soon as I'm free of this siege, I'll go and bring her back to Paris.

Madame, the King!

Save him for me.

God bless you, D'Artagnan. And please have your servant hurry...

To England.

Squad, halt!

Oh...

I'm afraid they're the best I could get for the money, sir.

He will not suffer thy foot to be moved, and thee will not sleep.

Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord himself is thy keeper, the Lord is thy defence upon thy right hand.

So that the sun shall not burn you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil. Yea, it is even him that shall keep thy soul.

The Lord shall preserve thee going out and thy coming in,

from this time forth forever and ever.

I will lift mine eyes unto the hills.

My help cometh from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

He will not suffer thy foot to be moved.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from?

The Lord himself. My help cometh from the Lord, who made...

I will lift mine eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from?

My help cometh from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

He will not suffer thy foot to be moved nor keepeth thee will not sleep.

Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord himself is thy keeper, the Lord is thy defence upon thy right hand...

The righteous cry and the Lord heareth

and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is night unto them.

Amen.

Master Felton.

For two nights you have not slept.

When I am awake, I am nearer to God.

God is with thee awake and asleep, Milady.

Help me!

God, help me! Help my people from prosecution!

Deliver them from the betrayer, the antichrist,

lest he corrupt and destroy them

As he has defiled and destroyed me. Send me thy angel, God,

To strike down thine enemies! Help me! Help me!

Who is antichrist, the betrayer?

He is your master, the Duke of Buckingham.

He is the Philistine blight on Israel.

You... You are a Puritan and yet, you serve him.

They are dying in La Rochelle for the faith and he is betraying them.

No!

No! He is going to save them.

He simply would have the world believe but he will betray them, I know.

He marches to Paris, to the bed of his Queen, his lascivious Roman Queen.

Help me, Master Felton. You have the eyes of a saint.

Help me to take warning to our people. Help me!

I cannot think.

Help me.

Help me.

Help me, please.

Please.

Felton,

You will not let this treachery go unpunished.

It is in God's hands. The Lord's will be done.

Yes. Let it be done.

Then the dragon was wroth with the woman

And went to make war with the remnant of her seed.

Aye, ten pence, neighbour. Good steel, too.

Tuppence change.

I say, sir, your change!

Just a minute, sir, your change!

My Lord.

Lord Buckingham!

Your messenger arrived only a few hours ago.

I gather from him that My Lord of Buckingham will not be leaving England again.

My congratulations.

Oh!

I reek of England and Calvinism.

But the Cardinal's business is done.

I may devote myself to my own. To Saint-Cloud and the woman Bonacieux.

Good.

No. She is in the Cecilia convent at Armentiéres.

One of my men went after her but the fool bungled it, somewhat.

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Ooh!

That's charming. So...

And D'Artagnan?

La Rochelle surrendered three days ago.

So, Sire, La Rochelle has fallen.

And not before time.

Well, Porthos, where will you spend it all?

Well, between buying drinks for Athos

And pardons for Aramis, there won't be much left!

Don't forget the needy, sir.

Oh, come on. Constance is in danger!

He and his friends will now be on the road to Armentières

to claim his lady love.

Don't worry, they cannot possibly be closer than Paris by now

and you and I can be in Armentiéres by dawn tomorrow.

I have twelve men at the convent already,

so we can assure Monsieur D'Artagnan the most hearty welcome.

And then you will have them all, Milady,

There.

Oh, welcome, welcome, welcome, nice Musketeers!

These poor beasts are done, Athos.

It's not only the poor beasts.

- Oscar, how far is Saint Cecilia's convent? - Two miles, Monsieur.

- Up the Brussels road. - Oh...

There you are young man, almost there.

Time for a glass. Wine!

Then we'll escort you to your heart's desire, God help you.

- Wine, come on, wine! - Yes, right, of course, you're thirsty.

That's one way to quench his Gascon ardour.

Aah-ah!

- Hey, you there! - Go faster, man!

- Stop! - Quickly!

Athos!

Athos!

Athos!

Athos! He's here!

Rochefort! He saw me!

Come on! After him!

Come on, man! Quick!

After them!

After him, man! Quick!

Ooh!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Sir, there's no saddle on that horse! Sir!

There it is! There it is!

Steady, Gascon!

There's another way in.

Take her inside! Go to the barn! They're close behind!

Keep back! Go on!

Find the girl! I'll take care of the knight-errants!

They're coming! They're coming!

Fire at will!

They're coming from behind!

Don't let them get away! Fire!

Shh!

Aramis!

Fire!

Hurry up!

Help me!

Aaaaagh!

Thank you!

Help me!

Come on, come on!

Aaagh!

Come on, Rochefort!

Come on!

Ooh!

Oh! Ooh!

Oh!

- Aramis! - Porthos!

Ah! Ah!

Aramis!

Quickly!

Ooh!

Aagh!

Aaagh!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Aaaaah!

Aah! Oh! Aah!

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom...

What... What is it, sister?

My child, have no fear. Go on with your prayers.

- The shooting... - Will soon be over. Don't be alarmed.

I am a friend. You shall soon will be free.

- Monsieur D'Artagnan and his companions... - D'Artagnan! He is here!

- Oh, sister! - You will see him in a moment.

I promise, but now go on with your prayers. You should say a prayer for him.

- And for the gallant gentlemen with him. - Yes.

Is he truly here, sister?

He will not leave except with you.

Now...

I shall wait with you.

Aagh!

Uhh! Ooh!

"Only Porthos could invent a new way to disarm himself."

Get away!

Child, you mustn't cry.

You must look your best for Monsieur D'Artagnan.

Yes.

Aagh!

Why is it always have to be me?

Perhaps you're getting too old, my dear fellow.

Rochefort, where is he?

Haven't seen him.

Constance!

Constance!

Constance!

You won't need a horse on the journey you're taking, Madame.

I warned you, did I not?

Be advised, Gascon! Turn and run!

You murderer!

Bastard!

Sweet Jesus!

Stop! Stop fighting!

Oh...

We are all here as judges.

What is your sentence?

Death.

Death.

Death.

Death.

You are the headsman of Lille.

As Comte de la Fére with the rights of high, middle and low justice,

I order the death of this woman.

Five pistoles.

D'Artagnan!

No!

No! You are not my judges.

Take me before a court! It is my right!

No!

You take one more step, D'Artagnan, and we cross swords,

And I swear to God, I'll kill you this time, boy.

Two more pistoles for rowing the boat. I'm a headsman, not a sailor.

Monsieur D'Artagnan, your sword, please, and yours, too, gentlemen.

In the name of His Eminence, the Cardinal.

D'Artagnan, I once held out my hand to you.

I do not do so now.

Now you stand charged of the murder of a valued servant of the state.

I fought Milady de Winter with her own weapons, Eminence.

So you did and won. Rochefort, too, a very considerable achievement.

But your victories are too expensive, sir, for me and for France.

I hold out France's hand for payment.

I shall not pay one sou, shed one tear, feel one grain of pity.

Then you must be tried. You will be condemned.

With submission, My Lord, I think not.

For all that I have done, I have a proper warrant.

A warrant? Signed by whom?

The Queen cannot, the King would not.

By your hand, Eminence.

By my hand?

"By my hand and for the good of the state,

The bearer has done what has been done."

One should be careful of what one writes.

And to whom one gives it.

I must bear those rules in mind.

This is a comission in the King's Musketeers. The name is blank,

But it is to you I give it.

Your friends are free also.

Good day, Monsieur D'Artagnan.

Er, Athos,

The Cardinal gave me this.

I can't take it. It should go to you.

For the Comte de la Fére it is too little.

For Athos, it is too much. You've earned it, child.

Aramis, my dear friend.

You're a man of education, of reading.

Please, you're far more worthy of this than I am.

My dear D'Artagnan, you forget, I am a Musketeer only temporarily.

As soon as I find the time, I intend to be ordained...

...into the priesthood.

Just look at all this filth, sir. I ask you, does it suit me?

Beautifully, but this will suit you much better.

- Ah, a lieutenancy. - Mm-hm.

My dear friend, you flatter me very much, but, no, no, no.

One must ask yourself, is a commission something for a gentleman?

But...

But if I'm lieutenant, I shall lose all my friends!

Oh, now he's a lieutenant, he's too proud to notice poor private Musketeers.

Even those who were kind to him when he first came,

young and foolish from Gascon.

Bumping into everyone, challenging them to fight duels,

making a complete nuisance of himself.

Brawling like a young ruffian with the Cardinal's guards, while his friends,

older and wiser, tried to restrain him and keep him out of mischief, you see.

Ah, how we guided his faltering, boyish footsteps when he might have gone astray!

Educated him in the behaviour of polite society.

Taught him all the refined arts that a young gentleman ought to know.

Protected him from scheming enemies, sheltered his youthful innocence

From the temptations of the wicked world.

Where would he have been without us I should like to know?

Or we without him?

Ah! That was in the old days, you see, when we were indeed

"One for all and all for one".