Original subtitles

Let's start with the Democratic Party.

Let's start with the Democratic Party.

Let's start with the Democratic Party. With the way the country is heading,

With the way the country is heading,

With the way the country is heading, they are poised to make big gains in the

they are poised to make big gains in the

they are poised to make big gains in the 2026 midterms as long as they stay

2026 midterms as long as they stay

2026 midterms as long as they stay focused and don't do anything stupid.

focused and don't do anything stupid.

focused and don't do anything stupid. >> New reporting reveals a scammer stole

>> New reporting reveals a scammer stole

>> New reporting reveals a scammer stole nearly $29,000 from the cashstrapped

nearly $29,000 from the cashstrapped

nearly $29,000 from the cashstrapped Democratic National Committee last year

Democratic National Committee last year

Democratic National Committee last year after posing as chairman Ken Martin in a

after posing as chairman Ken Martin in a

after posing as chairman Ken Martin in a fraudulent email.

fraudulent email.

fraudulent email. >> Jesus Christ.

>> Jesus Christ.

>> Jesus Christ. Your 2026 Democratic Party, everyone. We

Your 2026 Democratic Party, everyone. We

Your 2026 Democratic Party, everyone. We will stand up to the rising forces of

will stand up to the rising forces of

will stand up to the rising forces of authoritarianism and tell them loudly

authoritarianism and tell them loudly

authoritarianism and tell them loudly that our pit number is 10003.

that our pit number is 10003.

that our pit number is 10003. But let's move on to someone who

But let's move on to someone who

But let's move on to someone who probably could still win an election

probably could still win an election

probably could still win an election against the Democratic party. Senator

against the Democratic party. Senator

against the Democratic party. Senator Lindsey Graham.

Lindsey Graham.

Lindsey Graham. Yesterday was his funeral and beforehand

Yesterday was his funeral and beforehand

Yesterday was his funeral and beforehand his remains were honored in the Capitol

his remains were honored in the Capitol

his remains were honored in the Capitol Ratunda. Personally, I don't understand

Ratunda. Personally, I don't understand

Ratunda. Personally, I don't understand this tradition because I mean that's his

this tradition because I mean that's his

this tradition because I mean that's his office. Like [laughter]

office. Like [laughter]

office. Like [laughter] when I die, I don't want to be brought

when I die, I don't want to be brought

when I die, I don't want to be brought back to work and displayed next to the

back to work and displayed next to the

back to work and displayed next to the copy machine. You know, I want to be

copy machine. You know, I want to be

copy machine. You know, I want to be shot out of cannon straight into the

shot out of cannon straight into the

shot out of cannon straight into the Kalamazoo River as per Kapper family

Kalamazoo River as per Kapper family

Kalamazoo River as per Kapper family tradition.

tradition.

tradition. But the big story was President Trump's

But the big story was President Trump's

But the big story was President Trump's appearance at the funeral where he made

appearance at the funeral where he made

appearance at the funeral where he made sure that the tic tacs he chewed were

sure that the tic tacs he chewed were

sure that the tic tacs he chewed were the funeral appropriate mint ones.

the funeral appropriate mint ones.

the funeral appropriate mint ones. [laughter] I tell you now that is

[laughter] I tell you now that is

[laughter] I tell you now that is leadership. This is a nation in

leadership. This is a nation in

leadership. This is a nation in mourning. There will be another time for

mourning. There will be another time for

mourning. There will be another time for citrus adventure.

citrus adventure.

citrus adventure. And then our president and his newly

And then our president and his newly

And then our president and his newly freshened breath stepped up to the

freshened breath stepped up to the

freshened breath stepped up to the podium and attempted to say anything

podium and attempted to say anything

podium and attempted to say anything nice.

nice.

nice. Anything nice at all. No matter how

Anything nice at all. No matter how

Anything nice at all. No matter how heated things got in Washington,

heated things got in Washington,

heated things got in Washington, virtually everyone, Republican or

virtually everyone, Republican or

virtually everyone, Republican or Democrat, liked Lindsay. Well, not

Democrat, liked Lindsay. Well, not

Democrat, liked Lindsay. Well, not everybody, but it sounds good.

everybody, but it sounds good.

everybody, but it sounds good. [cheering]

>> [laughter]

>> I I can't believe I have to say this to

>> I I can't believe I have to say this to

>> I I can't believe I have to say this to Donald Trump, but can you just lie to

Donald Trump, but can you just lie to

Donald Trump, but can you just lie to us?

us?

us? [laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter] It's a memorial. You could paint a

It's a memorial. You could paint a

It's a memorial. You could paint a rosier picture. I didn't go to my uncle

rosier picture. I didn't go to my uncle

rosier picture. I didn't go to my uncle Lou's funeral and tell everyone he was

Lou's funeral and tell everyone he was

Lou's funeral and tell everyone he was the Zodiac Killer. I I said he was good

the Zodiac Killer. I I said he was good

the Zodiac Killer. I I said he was good WITH NUMBERS, YOU KNOW.

WITH NUMBERS, YOU KNOW.

WITH NUMBERS, YOU KNOW. Come on, Donnie. You guys SPENT SO MUCH

Come on, Donnie. You guys SPENT SO MUCH

Come on, Donnie. You guys SPENT SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER. Maybe maybe maybe share a

TIME TOGETHER. Maybe maybe maybe share a

TIME TOGETHER. Maybe maybe maybe share a a heartwarming story about how you two

a heartwarming story about how you two

a heartwarming story about how you two met.

met.

met. >> As you remember, Lindsay and I did not

>> As you remember, Lindsay and I did not

>> As you remember, Lindsay and I did not exactly get off to the best of starts.

exactly get off to the best of starts.

exactly get off to the best of starts. Back in 2016, Lindsay said something

Back in 2016, Lindsay said something

Back in 2016, Lindsay said something rather nasty. So, naturally, I did

rather nasty. So, naturally, I did

rather nasty. So, naturally, I did something that I shouldn't have done. I

something that I shouldn't have done. I

something that I shouldn't have done. I shared his personal cell phone number

shared his personal cell phone number

shared his personal cell phone number with the millions of people that

with the millions of people that

with the millions of people that happened to be watching that particular

happened to be watching that particular

happened to be watching that particular day as I made a speech.

day as I made a speech.

day as I made a speech. >> [cheering]

>> [cheering]

>> [cheering] [laughter]

>> Okay, interesting choice. I might have

>> Okay, interesting choice. I might have

>> Okay, interesting choice. I might have chosen a moment that highlights

chosen a moment that highlights

chosen a moment that highlights Lindsay's character, but I guess the

Lindsay's character, but I guess the

Lindsay's character, but I guess the time he got 10,000 calls from guys named

time he got 10,000 calls from guys named

time he got 10,000 calls from guys named Mike Roch and huge ass is [laughter]

Mike Roch and huge ass is [laughter]

Mike Roch and huge ass is [laughter] also equally good. But the point is, you

also equally good. But the point is, you

also equally good. But the point is, you got off to a bumpy start. You shared his

got off to a bumpy start. You shared his

got off to a bumpy start. You shared his phone number, but that's all in the

phone number, but that's all in the

phone number, but that's all in the past. And I remember the number 20228

past. And I remember the number 20228

past. And I remember the number 20228 0292 if anybody wants to give it a shot.

0292 if anybody wants to give it a shot.

0292 if anybody wants to give it a shot. Who wants to GIVE IT A SHOT? WHAT DO YOU

Who wants to GIVE IT A SHOT? WHAT DO YOU

Who wants to GIVE IT A SHOT? WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN? YOU THINK THE

THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN? YOU THINK THE

THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN? YOU THINK THE PHONE'S GOING TO start ringing in the

PHONE'S GOING TO start ringing in the

PHONE'S GOING TO start ringing in the casket? Lindsay's going to burst OUT OF

casket? Lindsay's going to burst OUT OF

casket? Lindsay's going to burst OUT OF THE COFFIN LIKE I GOT TO GET THIS. IT

THE COFFIN LIKE I GOT TO GET THIS. IT

THE COFFIN LIKE I GOT TO GET THIS. IT COULD BE SOMEONE TRYING TO BOOK ME ON A

COULD BE SOMEONE TRYING TO BOOK ME ON A

COULD BE SOMEONE TRYING TO BOOK ME ON A SUNDAY SHOW.

SUNDAY SHOW.

SUNDAY SHOW. ALSO, why do you still know that number?

ALSO, why do you still know that number?

ALSO, why do you still know that number? I don't even know my wife's number. I

I don't even know my wife's number. I

I don't even know my wife's number. I just know like my number and like 1877

just know like my number and like 1877

just know like my number and like 1877 cars for kids. That's it.

cars for kids. That's it.

cars for kids. That's it. Look, I I know Trump is the president,

Look, I I know Trump is the president,

Look, I I know Trump is the president, so of course he had to speak. But I I do

so of course he had to speak. But I I do

so of course he had to speak. But I I do hope that when he's finished, we get to

hope that when he's finished, we get to

hope that when he's finished, we get to hear from someone outside of politics

hear from someone outside of politics

hear from someone outside of politics with a with a more personal relationship

with a with a more personal relationship

with a with a more personal relationship to the late senator.

to the late senator.

to the late senator. >> Fox News host Sean Hannity uh is next up

>> Fox News host Sean Hannity uh is next up

>> Fox News host Sean Hannity uh is next up to give remarks, to give a eulogy. Sean

to give remarks, to give a eulogy. Sean

to give remarks, to give a eulogy. Sean Hannity.

Hannity.

Hannity. They couldn't find a personal friend

They couldn't find a personal friend

They couldn't find a personal friend that Lindsay loved, like a a predator

that Lindsay loved, like a a predator

that Lindsay loved, like a a predator drone or something, you know? I mean,

drone or something, you know? I mean,

drone or something, you know? I mean, have our politics and media fused so

have our politics and media fused so

have our politics and media fused so tightly that a premier guest at a

tightly that a premier guest at a

tightly that a premier guest at a senator's funeral is a pundit at a

senator's funeral is a pundit at a

senator's funeral is a pundit at a right-wing network dedicated to paring

right-wing network dedicated to paring

right-wing network dedicated to paring that specific senator's propaganda in an

that specific senator's propaganda in an

that specific senator's propaganda in an escalating spiral of grievance and

escalating spiral of grievance and

escalating spiral of grievance and culture war stoking. I mean, please,

culture war stoking. I mean, please,

culture war stoking. I mean, please, please, please, please, please, please,

please, please, please, please, please,

please, please, please, please, please, please, please tell me I am being too

please, please tell me I am being too

please, please tell me I am being too cynical, that maybe this isn't all just

cynical, that maybe this isn't all just

cynical, that maybe this isn't all just about propaganda and ratings, and this

about propaganda and ratings, and this

about propaganda and ratings, and this speech will be a a beautiful, touching

speech will be a a beautiful, touching

speech will be a a beautiful, touching tribute. Senator Graham was great for

tribute. Senator Graham was great for

tribute. Senator Graham was great for ratings.

It's so true. It's so true. It's so

It's so true. It's so true. It's so

It's so true. It's so true. It's so true. So true. Oh, you know what? Maybe

true. So true. Oh, you know what? Maybe

true. So true. Oh, you know what? Maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe the first

I have it all wrong. Maybe the first

I have it all wrong. Maybe the first thing St. Peter checks at the pearly

thing St. Peter checks at the pearly

thing St. Peter checks at the pearly gates is the TV ratings. Mother Teresa,

gates is the TV ratings. Mother Teresa,

gates is the TV ratings. Mother Teresa, you scored a 0.2 with the 18 to 45 demo.

you scored a 0.2 with the 18 to 45 demo.

you scored a 0.2 with the 18 to 45 demo. Enjoy hell,

Enjoy hell,

Enjoy hell, You know what? Hannity didn't just come

You know what? Hannity didn't just come

You know what? Hannity didn't just come to praise Graham's lasting effect on

to praise Graham's lasting effect on

to praise Graham's lasting effect on sweeps week. No, he also wanted to

sweeps week. No, he also wanted to

sweeps week. No, he also wanted to remind people how in life Graham so

remind people how in life Graham so

remind people how in life Graham so dearly love proximity to power.

dearly love proximity to power.

dearly love proximity to power. >> He would have been so honored, Mr.

>> He would have been so honored, Mr.

>> He would have been so honored, Mr. President, that you were here, Mr. Vice

President, that you were here, Mr. Vice

President, that you were here, Mr. Vice President, that you were here. I see the

President, that you were here. I see the

President, that you were here. I see the Secretary of State is here. I see the

Secretary of State is here. I see the

Secretary of State is here. I see the entire cabinet is here. Um, thank you

entire cabinet is here. Um, thank you

entire cabinet is here. Um, thank you all of you, each and every one of you.

all of you, each and every one of you.

all of you, each and every one of you. Chief of Staff is here. Steve Woodco is

Chief of Staff is here. Steve Woodco is

Chief of Staff is here. Steve Woodco is here.

here.

here. >> Yes. My favorite part of the eulogy. Uh,

>> Yes. My favorite part of the eulogy. Uh,

>> Yes. My favorite part of the eulogy. Uh, the crowd shout out section. [laughter]

the crowd shout out section. [laughter]

the crowd shout out section. [laughter] Steve Whit is in Hizzy over here. What's

Steve Whit is in Hizzy over here. What's

Steve Whit is in Hizzy over here. What's up, player? I see Marco Ruby over there

up, player? I see Marco Ruby over there

up, player? I see Marco Ruby over there getting his grieve on. Yeah. Oh, there's

getting his grieve on. Yeah. Oh, there's

getting his grieve on. Yeah. Oh, there's Big Heads Seth over there in the back at

Big Heads Seth over there in the back at

Big Heads Seth over there in the back at the bar pouring one out. Oh, he's

the bar pouring one out. Oh, he's

the bar pouring one out. Oh, he's drinking it. Oh, okay. It's 10:00 a.m.

drinking it. Oh, okay. It's 10:00 a.m.

drinking it. Oh, okay. It's 10:00 a.m. You do you, boo. Do it. [laughter]

You do you, boo. Do it. [laughter]

You do you, boo. Do it. [laughter] Tell you what, usually at a funeral,

Tell you what, usually at a funeral,

Tell you what, usually at a funeral, there's some fond speculation about how

there's some fond speculation about how

there's some fond speculation about how the deceased is in a better place. Maybe

the deceased is in a better place. Maybe

the deceased is in a better place. Maybe uh give us some of that, Sean. Lindsay,

uh give us some of that, Sean. Lindsay,

uh give us some of that, Sean. Lindsay, Mr. President,

Mr. President,

Mr. President, I argue in my mind, probably has a

I argue in my mind, probably has a

I argue in my mind, probably has a heavenly version of Mara Lago. He may

heavenly version of Mara Lago. He may

heavenly version of Mara Lago. He may have a little more gold in in the Oval

have a little more gold in in the Oval

have a little more gold in in the Oval Office in his mansion in heaven. And I

Office in his mansion in heaven. And I

Office in his mansion in heaven. And I wouldn't be surprised if he added one

wouldn't be surprised if he added one

wouldn't be surprised if he added one big beautiful ballroom and a arch

big beautiful ballroom and a arch

big beautiful ballroom and a arch somewhere on the property. Okay. Okay.

somewhere on the property. Okay. Okay.

somewhere on the property. Okay. Okay. You know, let me let me get this

You know, let me let me get this

You know, let me let me get this straight. You're saying that when God

straight. You're saying that when God

straight. You're saying that when God asked Lindsey Graham, "Where do you want

asked Lindsey Graham, "Where do you want

asked Lindsey Graham, "Where do you want to spend eternity?" Lindsay said, "You

to spend eternity?" Lindsay said, "You

to spend eternity?" Lindsay said, "You know that tacky club in Palm Beach

know that tacky club in Palm Beach

know that tacky club in Palm Beach that's so ugly it became a nickname for

that's so ugly it became a nickname for

that's so ugly it became a nickname for botched plastic surgery? I want you to

botched plastic surgery? I want you to

botched plastic surgery? I want you to stuff a ballroom in it, slap an arch in

stuff a ballroom in it, slap an arch in

stuff a ballroom in it, slap an arch in there, and then pack in an oval office."

there, and then pack in an oval office."

there, and then pack in an oval office." So, I'm living in a Trump version of

So, I'm living in a Trump version of

So, I'm living in a Trump version of back rooms. That's That's my little

back rooms. That's That's my little

back rooms. That's That's my little slice of heaven. [cheering] I mean,

slice of heaven. [cheering] I mean,

slice of heaven. [cheering] I mean, [applause] okay,

[applause] okay,

[applause] okay, with all due respect, with all due

with all due respect, with all due

with all due respect, with all due respect, why the would anyone want that?

respect, why the would anyone want that?

respect, why the would anyone want that? Because he would want to obviously

Because he would want to obviously

Because he would want to obviously duplicate his dearest friend in life,

duplicate his dearest friend in life,

duplicate his dearest friend in life, you, Mr. President.

you, Mr. President.

you, Mr. President. >> Wow. Wow. That's really what it has all

>> Wow. Wow. That's really what it has all

>> Wow. Wow. That's really what it has all come down to for Republicans. Your

come down to for Republicans. Your

come down to for Republicans. Your entire life is so thoroughly and

entire life is so thoroughly and

entire life is so thoroughly and abjectly reduced to the asskissing of

abjectly reduced to the asskissing of

abjectly reduced to the asskissing of one man. And then when you die, other

one man. And then when you die, other

one man. And then when you die, other Republicans use your eulogy to continue

Republicans use your eulogy to continue

Republicans use your eulogy to continue the asskissing in a perpetual motion

the asskissing in a perpetual motion

the asskissing in a perpetual motion machine of chapped lips and lubricated

machine of chapped lips and lubricated

machine of chapped lips and lubricated cheeks.

cheeks.

cheeks. And maybe [applause and cheering] MAYBE

And maybe [applause and cheering] MAYBE

And maybe [applause and cheering] MAYBE and maybe you know what in some ways

and maybe you know what in some ways

and maybe you know what in some ways sucking up to Trump is just the best way

sucking up to Trump is just the best way

sucking up to Trump is just the best way to honor how Lindsey Graham lived his

to honor how Lindsey Graham lived his

to honor how Lindsey Graham lived his life. But surely there must have been

life. But surely there must have been

life. But surely there must have been some other thing this man was known for.

some other thing this man was known for.

some other thing this man was known for. >> He was extremely hawkish. I will tell

>> He was extremely hawkish. I will tell

>> He was extremely hawkish. I will tell you he never saw war that he didn't

you he never saw war that he didn't

you he never saw war that he didn't like.

like.

like. >> Yes, that is true. Perhaps the man loved

>> Yes, that is true. Perhaps the man loved

>> Yes, that is true. Perhaps the man loved Donald Trump, but he also loved bombing

Donald Trump, but he also loved bombing

Donald Trump, but he also loved bombing people. For more on the late Senator

people. For more on the late Senator

people. For more on the late Senator Lindsey Graham and his funeral, let's

Lindsey Graham and his funeral, let's

Lindsey Graham and his funeral, let's turn now to our senior political

turn now to our senior political

turn now to our senior political correspondent, Troy Iada. TROY.

correspondent, Troy Iada. TROY.

correspondent, Troy Iada. TROY. [cheering]

>> [applause]

>> TRE, where are you?

>> TRE, where are you?

>> TRE, where are you? >> Uh, Jordan, I'm here. I'm on the scene

>> Uh, Jordan, I'm here. I'm on the scene

>> Uh, Jordan, I'm here. I'm on the scene in Lindsey Graham's heaven.

in Lindsey Graham's heaven.

in Lindsey Graham's heaven. >> Oh. [laughter]

>> Oh. [laughter]

>> Oh. [laughter] >> Oh, I'm I'm I'm I'm sorry. I didn't I

>> Oh, I'm I'm I'm I'm sorry. I didn't I

>> Oh, I'm I'm I'm I'm sorry. I didn't I didn't even know you died.

didn't even know you died.

didn't even know you died. >> Wow. What a great friend. Um uh no, no,

>> Wow. What a great friend. Um uh no, no,

>> Wow. What a great friend. Um uh no, no, no. I'm not dead. I'm in a K-hole right

no. I'm not dead. I'm in a K-hole right

no. I'm not dead. I'm in a K-hole right now on Earth, but my friend's doing CPR,

now on Earth, but my friend's doing CPR,

now on Earth, but my friend's doing CPR, so I have a few minutes to talk.

so I have a few minutes to talk.

so I have a few minutes to talk. >> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. Well, I hope that works out for you, but

Well, I hope that works out for you, but

Well, I hope that works out for you, but I'm I'm just surprised that Lindsey

I'm I'm just surprised that Lindsey

I'm I'm just surprised that Lindsey Graham's heaven looks like Mara Lago.

Graham's heaven looks like Mara Lago.

Graham's heaven looks like Mara Lago. >> Yeah, of course. And you're surprised.

>> Yeah, of course. And you're surprised.

>> Yeah, of course. And you're surprised. You Brooklyn liberals all think heaven

You Brooklyn liberals all think heaven

You Brooklyn liberals all think heaven is some natural wine bar where you

is some natural wine bar where you

is some natural wine bar where you reunite with all the dead people from

reunite with all the dead people from

reunite with all the dead people from your polycule.

your polycule.

your polycule. But news flash, this is what heaven

But news flash, this is what heaven

But news flash, this is what heaven looks like for real Americans, like

looks like for real Americans, like

looks like for real Americans, like Lindsey Graham. I mean, who wouldn't

Lindsey Graham. I mean, who wouldn't

Lindsey Graham. I mean, who wouldn't want to spend eternity here?

want to spend eternity here?

want to spend eternity here? I guess that's fair. It's It's not that

I guess that's fair. It's It's not that

I guess that's fair. It's It's not that bad. You got good weather, ambiance,

bad. You got good weather, ambiance,

bad. You got good weather, ambiance, spending your days lounging in a cabana.

spending your days lounging in a cabana.

spending your days lounging in a cabana. >> Whoa. Whoa. A cabana. Whoa. You got

>> Whoa. Whoa. A cabana. Whoa. You got

>> Whoa. Whoa. A cabana. Whoa. You got cabana bucks? Whoa. Those are those are

cabana bucks? Whoa. Those are those are

cabana bucks? Whoa. Those are those are like $200 a day. I'm just going to I'm

like $200 a day. I'm just going to I'm

like $200 a day. I'm just going to I'm going to find a chair in the sun.

going to find a chair in the sun.

going to find a chair in the sun. >> Wait. I mean, wait. You have to pay

>> Wait. I mean, wait. You have to pay

>> Wait. I mean, wait. You have to pay money in heaven. Uh, yeah. Duh. How else

money in heaven. Uh, yeah. Duh. How else

money in heaven. Uh, yeah. Duh. How else do you think you get in here?

Like kindness to your fellow man, the

Like kindness to your fellow man, the

Like kindness to your fellow man, the grace of the Lord. That sounds like

grace of the Lord. That sounds like

grace of the Lord. That sounds like someone's going to the red roof in

someone's going to the red roof in

someone's going to the red roof in heaven. [laughter]

heaven. [laughter]

heaven. [laughter] Enjoy that Boingo hot spot, Jordan. Um,

Enjoy that Boingo hot spot, Jordan. Um,

Enjoy that Boingo hot spot, Jordan. Um, look, this place is for winners. There's

look, this place is for winners. There's

look, this place is for winners. There's unlimited Wi-Fi for $12.99.

unlimited Wi-Fi for $12.99.

unlimited Wi-Fi for $12.99. Uh, the omelette bar has ham cubes and

Uh, the omelette bar has ham cubes and

Uh, the omelette bar has ham cubes and lip filler. And all night, every night,

lip filler. And all night, every night,

lip filler. And all night, every night, you dance to the YMCA over and over and

you dance to the YMCA over and over and

you dance to the YMCA over and over and over and over again. And your arms never

over and over again. And your arms never

over and over again. And your arms never get tired, no matter how much you want

get tired, no matter how much you want

get tired, no matter how much you want them to. [laughter]

them to. [laughter]

them to. [laughter] >> I got to say that that doesn't exactly

>> I got to say that that doesn't exactly

>> I got to say that that doesn't exactly sound like paradise. Well, Lindsay loves

sound like paradise. Well, Lindsay loves

sound like paradise. Well, Lindsay loves it. Okay. Sorry you don't get your

it. Okay. Sorry you don't get your

it. Okay. Sorry you don't get your liberal fantasy where Zoron feeds you

liberal fantasy where Zoron feeds you

liberal fantasy where Zoron feeds you non GMO grapes on a free bus driven by a

non GMO grapes on a free bus driven by a

non GMO grapes on a free bus driven by a trans Karl Marx. [laughter]

trans Karl Marx. [laughter]

trans Karl Marx. [laughter] What are you talking about? Look, the

What are you talking about? Look, the

What are you talking about? Look, the point is Lindsay's happy here. He gets

point is Lindsay's happy here. He gets

point is Lindsay's happy here. He gets to be with all his bestest friends like

to be with all his bestest friends like

to be with all his bestest friends like like Roy Conn and Herman Kaine and

like Roy Conn and Herman Kaine and

like Roy Conn and Herman Kaine and Jeffrey Epstein, you know.

Jeffrey Epstein, you know.

Jeffrey Epstein, you know. >> Yes, I see you Jeffrey in the pool. That

>> Yes, I see you Jeffrey in the pool. That

>> Yes, I see you Jeffrey in the pool. That was a great dive.

was a great dive.

was a great dive. >> Troy, those are all Trump's friends. Is

>> Troy, those are all Trump's friends. Is

>> Troy, those are all Trump's friends. Is that really all Lindsey Graham wants to

that really all Lindsey Graham wants to

that really all Lindsey Graham wants to do?

do?

do? >> No. No. Okay, he has lots of options. He

>> No. No. Okay, he has lots of options. He

>> No. No. Okay, he has lots of options. He can spend his days roaming the halls.

can spend his days roaming the halls.

can spend his days roaming the halls. The tap tap tap of his footsteps echoing

The tap tap tap of his footsteps echoing

The tap tap tap of his footsteps echoing off the marble tiles as he passes

off the marble tiles as he passes

off the marble tiles as he passes through corridors of dolls with Trump's

through corridors of dolls with Trump's

through corridors of dolls with Trump's face on them. Staring at him, his skin

face on them. Staring at him, his skin

face on them. Staring at him, his skin slowly flaking off, revealing a body

slowly flaking off, revealing a body

slowly flaking off, revealing a body still alive yet decomposing.

still alive yet decomposing.

still alive yet decomposing. Young man, there's no need to feel down.

Young man, there's no need to feel down.

Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, young man,

I said, young man,

I said, young man, >> wait, wait. I know you know I know what

>> wait, wait. I know you know I know what

>> wait, wait. I know you know I know what this is. THIS IS A TWILIGHT Zone thing.

this is. THIS IS A TWILIGHT Zone thing.

this is. THIS IS A TWILIGHT Zone thing. It looks like heaven at first, but then

It looks like heaven at first, but then

It looks like heaven at first, but then you realize he's actually getting

you realize he's actually getting

you realize he's actually getting punished.

punished.

punished. >> Okay, of course you think it's a

>> Okay, of course you think it's a

>> Okay, of course you think it's a punishment. You'd prefer spending your

punishment. You'd prefer spending your

punishment. You'd prefer spending your days watching nude Hassan Twitch

days watching nude Hassan Twitch

days watching nude Hassan Twitch streams while a Native American drag

streams while a Native American drag

streams while a Native American drag queen reads you the Quran.

queen reads you the Quran.

queen reads you the Quran. This is heaven for Lindsay. Okay. Does

This is heaven for Lindsay. Okay. Does

This is heaven for Lindsay. Okay. Does it sound like a Twilight Zone thing to

it sound like a Twilight Zone thing to

it sound like a Twilight Zone thing to forever gaze into Trump's reflecting

forever gaze into Trump's reflecting

forever gaze into Trump's reflecting pool? Your body slowly being overcome by

pool? Your body slowly being overcome by

pool? Your body slowly being overcome by algae as you stare into the waters.

algae as you stare into the waters.

algae as you stare into the waters. Seeing not your reflection but Trump's.

Seeing not your reflection but Trump's.

Seeing not your reflection but Trump's. Hearing not your voice but the howling

Hearing not your voice but the howling

Hearing not your voice but the howling cries from the wars you pushed for.

cries from the wars you pushed for.

cries from the wars you pushed for. >> Young man, pick yourself off the ground.

>> Young man, pick yourself off the ground.

>> Young man, pick yourself off the ground. I say

I say

I say >> no. No. THIS IS THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

>> no. No. THIS IS THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

>> no. No. THIS IS THE TWILIGHT ZONE. YOU'RE DOING THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

YOU'RE DOING THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

YOU'RE DOING THE TWILIGHT ZONE. >> JORDAN, COME ON. THIS PLACE IS FILLED

>> JORDAN, COME ON. THIS PLACE IS FILLED

>> JORDAN, COME ON. THIS PLACE IS FILLED WITH beautiful buxom ladies everywhere

WITH beautiful buxom ladies everywhere

WITH beautiful buxom ladies everywhere who want to have sex with him. Does that

who want to have sex with him. Does that

who want to have sex with him. Does that sound like a punishment for Lindsey

sound like a punishment for Lindsey

sound like a punishment for Lindsey Graham?

Graham?

Graham? [cheering]

[applause]

>> I just heard myself say it and it does

>> I just heard myself say it and it does

>> I just heard myself say it and it does sound like the Twilight Zone.

sound like the Twilight Zone.

sound like the Twilight Zone. >> Yeah. Am I black and white now? Yeah,

>> Yeah. Am I black and white now? Yeah,

>> Yeah. Am I black and white now? Yeah, this is definitely the Twilight Zone.

this is definitely the Twilight Zone.

this is definitely the Twilight Zone. Roy everyone.